The Fearless Warrior Podcast

143: From Florida Softball to the Pro Leagues, Skylar Wallace Shares What Makes Her Fearless

• Amanda Schaefer

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In today's episode, Coach Kara and our Warriors interviewed Skylar Wallace, a professional softball player for the AUSL's Chicago Bandits and the Japan Diamond Softball League, as well as a three-time All-American, NFCA National Player of the Year, and three-time All-SEC First Team selection at the University of Florida. She opens up about self-talk, the transfer decision that changed everything, and why the six inches between your ears matters more than anything else on the field.

Episode Highlights:

  • The importance of embracing pressure as a privilege
  • The ANTs framework — how to identify and squish automatic negative thoughts 
  • Why surrounding yourself with the right five people is one of the most important decisions you will ever make as an athlete
  • Why being terrible at basketball made her a better softball player
  • Why self-talk is not something you master once


Connect with Skylar:

IG: @skylar.wallace

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Kara

All right. Welcome this evening all you warriors. We're excited, um, for you to join us tonight with- for our live mentorship call. We are so pumped tonight. We have Skylar Wallace joining us here today. Um, Skylar is originally from Georgia, and she played for both Alabama and Florida, but most notably Florida, right? That's where she finned- finished up her career. Uh, was just a stud at Florida. I loved, loved, loved watching you play for Florida. Uh, she won the NFCA Player of the Year. She was a two time All-American, three time SC- All-SEC player, just all-out stud. Super fast on the bases, set a ton of records at Florida, and, and just really tore it up there. Uh, she now plays for the Bandits in the AUSL, and, uh, that's now in Chicago. That's their new base. It's the Chicago Bandits, so that's where she'll be playing this summer. You probably get out and catch her as, uh, she's traveling around with, uh, Athletes Unlimited this summer. Um, but yeah, we're super excited to have you here, Skylar, so go ahead and say hey to the girls and introduce yourself.

Skylar

Hey, guys. Glad to be here with you tonight. Thank you for, uh, tuning in and joining us. Um, but yeah, Kara kinda gave you the rundown of what I've done, uh, I guess more in my, my later years. But, uh, I wanna touch on, I guess, the beginning part. Like, I, I want you guys to know that I started out just like you guys. I started out with travel ball, um, when I was, you know, I think I got really into travel ball when I was around seven or eight. Um, that's when things really picked up and I was kinda playing up a little bit. But I did the same thing you's go- you guys do every single, every single week. I went to travel ball practice, I had my lessons, I did stuff in the backyard, I played catch with my dad, I sat down and watched, you know, videos of, you k- you know how dads are. Dads are a little crazy. They're like, "Hey, let me..." Like, "Watch this. What do you, what do you think?" Right here. And so I did all of that, and I, uh, I started from the ground up. Um, so just a, it's a true testament to that hard work. Um, you are a product of your hard work, and if that, if you can put that time, that repetition, um, that mentality to what you wanna do, you, the- there is no glass ceiling for you. You are capable of everything you want, everything you desire as long as you can control the six inches between your head and just get after it when, when the time comes. So yeah, I started from travel ball, did all the things, worked my way up, and just, uh, kept working, kept working. Knew I had big goals, big ambitions, and I was gonna make a name for myself, and I, I trusted that. There was always doubt, there was always fear, there was always failure there, but the biggest thing is persevering through that. You keep showing up, you keep working, and things happen. You just gotta keep grinding that out

Kara

Yeah. Yeah, that's awesome. So you, you started in travel ball. When did you, like, really know, like, this is it for me, I want to go play college? Like, when did you make that decision?

Skylar

I don't even think I really knew. Obviously, when you're 10, 11, you know, you're like, oh yeah, I love softball. Um, but it's not really until I feel like you're 12, 13, pushing 14 years old where you have the mental capacity to even understand what's happening, what you're doing. Especially in this generation. You have NIL now, you're getting recruited young, you have coaches showing up. They're like, "Hey, come out and hit with me." Like, you're like eight, and you're like, "Dude, what? Like, I'm going to a college to hit?" Like, it's crazy. But I think around 13 is when I knew, like, this is exactly what I wanted to do. Like, obviously I was watching these college players on the TV. They're at the World Series. I remember watching, you know, the Oklahoma game that went 17 innings, which if any of you guys know about that, that's insane. But that was a while ago. Uh, and so I remember watching that and like, I wanna do that. Like, I wanna play at the World Series. And yeah, I said that, but it wasn't until I was 14 that I was like, I'm gonna play college softball. Like, I wanna be at a Power Five school. I've worked really, really hard. This is what I want to do. This brings me so much joy. I love the competition. I love being around my teammates. I love seeing people succeed and, like, pushing them to be the best that they can be, and that helps me be the best I can be. And so from there, I just was determined to make something happen, and continued showing up at workouts and just had this, like, determination to find a way. Um, and then obviously got recruited at 14, which is, which is young. I don't even think I knew what my favorite color was then. But here I am committing to a, a college- which is insane. Um, and it, it played out from there and, and that's when, I guess, the even the bigger work started to really happen. Because once you had that target on your name, like, oh, she's committed to the University of Alabama, like, there's a target on your back. So you kind of have to, you know, live up to that big dog and step into those shoes and just be like, you know what? Heck yeah, I'm doing it. I'm gonna do the thing. I'm gonna find a way. I'm gonna embrace what I have 'cause I've worked hard, and I'm not gonna let anyone take me f- take that from me. I'm gonna keep going. So that's kinda, kinda where things started around four- I would say about 13, 14 years old, and just went from there

Kara

Yeah. And then how did, how do you feel like that you were able to do that? So I There are girls that, right, they commit, and they get that target on their back, and they can't They kinda crumble under that pressure or that scrutiny. What did you do? Like, do you feel like you did things overtly to help protect from that? Like, what were you doing? What were you saying in your head? How were you approaching that? Like, what helped you to be able to, to get through that?

Skylar

Obviously, it's hard, right? You know, there's this target on your back. You have these eyes piercing you. You're at the, at the field, and you're like, "What is going on? I feel like everyone's watching me. Everyone's expecting everything." But the biggest thing I learned, and it's something I still try to do to this day, is embrace that pressure. Like, that pressure is a privilege. Like, you don't get to, you know, be a top player and have all these ambitions and have all these goals and then be like, "Oh, I don't, I don't want pressure." Like, that is such- Mm-hmm a privilege. Like, you have to embrace that. And so I, I leaned into my support system. Obviously, when things were tough, I was like, "Hey," like, "I'm struggling." Like, my mind is weak, and I had those people there to pick me up. But I never got so weak in the mind where I told myself I can't. Or Like, that, that I remember my dad being like, "Can't is not a word in your vocabulary. Like, can't is not a word." Like, maybe it won't happen right then. Maybe like, "Hey, I need to adjust, and this isn't the day," or, "Hey, this isn't working right now, but it will." Like, "I'm gonna show up tomorrow, and I'm gonna give it another shot. Oh, it didn't work again? Okay, that's fine. I have tomorrow." So, like, just reiterating the fact that, like, can't is not a vocabulary. If I sit there and tell myself these negative thoughts, I'm gonna believe those negative thoughts. So I really tried to be cautious of what I was telling myself. And if any of you guys have seen on my Instagram, I tell you, like, your brain is always listening. So if you're sitting there saying, "I'm not pretty," or, "I'm not confident," or, "I'm gonna strike out," you're feeding yourself those thoughts. What do you, what do you think of yourself? You're not pretty. I'm not confident. That's what you're telling yourself. So if you can try to pick up on those moments- And I had a really, really good support system that helped me with that. Like, really good. I have to give a lot of credit to them because I am human, and I do have those negative thoughts. Like this morning, I put out a video yesterday saying, like, "You are capable." What do I see myself doing this morning? Comparison. I'm comparing myself to someone I don't even know on the internet. So what I do, I put my phone down, I shut off, and I went outside. I went for a walk, and I didn't listen to anything. I cleared my head, and I was... I looked crazy 'cause I'm sitting there having these same thoughts that I had just caught myself, and I'm like, "Oh, I, I will never be like that. I, I will never..." And I'm like, "No." So I'm on this walk walking, and I'm like, "I am powerful. I am strong. I am capable of doing X, Y, and Z." And, like, this girl's walking past me like, "What is this girl doing?" Like, "She, she looks crazy." But, like, that, that's the thing. You have to be so cognizant and so ambitious that you have to feed yourself those go- those thoughts. If you wanna go get an A on your test, I am gonna get an A on my test. I'm gonna do the work, obviously. I'm going to study, but then I'm going to tell myself, "I'm getting an A on this test. I'm getting an A on a test." Not like, "Oh, I hope I get an A on a test. Oh, I hope I go up there and I g- I hit the ball." No, you are gonna hit the ball. Okay, so then you fail, whatever. How can you show up the next thing? And so that was, like, my big thing is just being so driven to continue to show up. On bad days, I struck out. Like, there's moments I went 0 for 10. I had a ground ball go through my legs, and I didn't have the coach that, you know, was like, that's, you know, pointing the finger. Like, I, y- we are all going to make mistakes. So I, again, go back to my support system that helped me, but it was catching those negative thoughts and continuing to show up even when things were hard that led me to go to what I did at Florida and now at the professional level.

Kara

Yeah. I think, I, what you hit on, to me, w- working, you know, with warriors for the last few years, and working with my own kids and other kids that I've coached, the thing that I notice most is what you're talking about with that self-talk. And the first step to that is just noticing your self-talk. Just being curious. What am I saying in my head? And actually, my kids hate it. My personal kids hate it because whenever they get in those bad moods, they're like struggling with math or whatever it is, I always ask them, "What are you saying in your head?" They hate that question. Yeah. But it's, I want them to verbalize what are you saying in your head. If you're saying things like, "I'm never gonna get this," or, "I suck at this," or, "I'm bad at this," or, "I can't do this," just like, uh, you said, that's what your brain focuses on and you, it will be true.

Right.

Kara

And, uh, so I really just, just that first step of, like, even just noticing what you're saying in your head, that's the only way you can change it. If, if they- Yeah just say, "Oh, I don't know what I'm saying in your, my head," it's like, okay, well then you have no power over it. You have no power to change it. But just noticing those thoughts is

Skylar

huge. It, like, sounds silly. Like, it, it really does- It does. sound silly. Like, if I was 12 years old or 10 years old or even 13, 14, and someone was like, "My self-talk? Like, really? That, that's what matters?" Like, it sounds crazy, but I promise you guys, if you can learn how to have positive self-talk and learn your ANTs, which ANT is automatic negative thoughts, okay? So if you can get rid of those n- ANTs, squish them in the dirt, and rethink about a positive thought, I promise you not only will you change as a person in a positive way, your game will excel. Because you're gonna be able to catch on, you're gonna be able to adapt quicker, and you're gonna be able to embrace the failure and turn that failure into growth.

Kara

Yeah. I love that. ANTs. It's crazy. I know. I've never heard that before. That's great. You know how- Yeah. You're preaching to the choir here.

Skylar

So that, that, that's the- Yeah. That's what-

Kara

Yeah. All, all these girls are working on self-talk.

Skylar

Yep. Yeah. And it's not easy. Yeah. It's easier said than done, but keep, keep working on it. I promise it makes a difference.

Kara

Yeah. That's huge. Um, so I, I saw that you played, you did some other sports as well. I saw you did gymnastics and basketball and track. Yeah. So I'm a huge proponent of playing multiple sports and becoming, like, an all-around athlete. What do you feel like those sports, how did those sports help you become a better softball player?

Skylar

Well, obviously, I would say the one thing is it taught me how to load in different positions. It taught me how to move in different ways. It taught me how to be adaptable under s- certain situations. Like, your, your hitting is not gonna be the same as going for a layup in basketball. Your track start's not gonna be the same as running the bases in softball. Like, all of that was allowing me to develop in a physical way and learn how to use my body efficiently. Um, so that would be, like, the first thing, but I think it goes more into how, how can I learn how to grow even if I'm not good at something? Because softball is our sport, and so you are already good at softball. You might not be great, but you're already good. You're already going to the lessons. You're already getting coached. But, like, if you're thrown into a basketball game... I played basketball one year. Let me just clear that up. I played basketball one year, and I was awful. Like, awful. Like, I, I... all I could do, all my coach said was, "Just steal the ball, run to the court, and just sit there and dribble it till a teammate gets there or go for a layup. Don't shoot." 'Cause I literally shot two-handed like this. Like, I... It was so bad. He's like, "Just steal the ball, go down there and dribble, wait for a teammate, let them shoot." Got it. Got it. So I learned how to communicate with my teammates even though I had no idea what was going on. I learned how to, you know, challenge myself even though I wasn't good at something. I had to continue to show up. My parents were like, "Oh, you're going to practice. Like, you think you're not? Like, and you're gonna stay after. Like, you're, you're going to figure this out." And I... There it is. I was... I had to adapt in a hard situation. And then I also had to learn how to move in a way that I wasn't used to. My body was not used to basketball. I have no idea how to shoot a basketball. I'm, I'm in the seventh grade. But, like, I challenged myself, and that right there is a key thing. In order to grow, you have to get outside your comfort zone, and I'm sure you've heard that. You cannot stay in this tiny bubble and expect for all these big things to happen. You have to push yourself. Oh, you're doing... You know, maybe you're in the gym, and you're like, "Oh, I can do five pushups. No, I'm going for six pushups. Oh, I, I'm gonna do curls," or whatever it is. "I, I can do 20 pounds. No, I'm gonna do 25 pounds. Maybe I'm not gonna get six, but I'm gonna push myself." And so, like, get outside your comfort zone, and that's what sports is. You know? That's what you... You learn how to fail in adversity. You learn how to communicate with teammates. You learn how to have relationships. That's the beauty in it. Yeah, winning lo- winning's great, and you learn a lot through losing, too, probably more than you do winning, but it's just more than that. It's teaching you life lessons that you get to bring along afterwards. So I give a lot of credit to my p- my parents, uh, putting me in a lot of different sports even though I wasn't good at them. I, I would say it's a huge, huge factor in how athletic I am now.

Kara

Yeah. I, I, I, I totally agree with everything you said. It's good for you to be bad at something-

Skylar

Yep when

Kara

you're usually good at something else. It's good to learn how to be bad at something and how to get better from, from being bad. So I think that, yeah, there's tons of, tons of lessons that we can learn from other sports that will only help us in our, you know, pursuit of softball, but- I

Skylar

still can't shoot a basketball though. I will admit that. I still can't shoot a basketball correctly. It's just dribble and go for a layup. That's it.

Kara

Yeah.

Skylar

I, I, I know- i, I still shoot two-handed. I, I don't know what it is. It's just hard. It's not in my nature to do the one hand. I'm, I'm trying to be Steph out there. I'm trying to be Curry, but it's just not working. Yeah. I think I gotta stick to the basics.

Kara

I, I believe in you though. I think a little bit of coaching, I think you could get it.

Skylar

Maybe. I need a lot of coaching. If

Kara

we ever meet in person.

Skylar

I

Kara

mean, I- If we ever meet in person, I'll, I'll give you a little coaching. Uh, that's awesome. So let's talk now about your, um, your collegiate experience. Yeah. So you started off at Alabama and then COVID hit, right? That was your COVID year was at Alabama, and then you transfer, transfer to Florida. So talk about like that, I mean, that's gotta be a crazy couple of years, right? Going from going to Alabama where you've been thinking for so many years you're gonna go, playing there, doing well, you played well at Alabama. Yeah. And then COVID hits, which just blew up the whole world, right? And then you transfer, and COVID, and softball, and college, and all of that. Like how, what was that transition like for you and how did you cope with, uh, all of those things?

Skylar

Very loaded question. Let's, uh, so if I- I, if I start blabbing about this one just go ahead and cut me off. Um, yeah, so I committed to, let's just give some insight. I committed to the University of Alabama when I was 14, so I was a freshman in high school. I signed my letter of intent my junior year. Um, obviously finished out my senior year. I went and played at PGF, won a championship there. Um, and then got a- I went to college in the fall. So freshman of tw- uh, it was the fall of 2018, okay? I was a freshman at Alabama. Everything was going great. You're obviously new, you're away from your parents, you're trying to figure out time management. Everything was new, but fun. I, I was in this area of like responsibility, structure, and just challenges that I, I loved it. I, I, I loved it, honestly. Things start to happen, okay? So a lot of you are probably gonna listen to this and be like, "What is she talking about?" But you'll understand me one day. You start to develop the... Like, when you're 18 and in high school, and you step into the college thing, and you have that sense of responsibility, and, you know, you're, you're taking care of yourself, and you have team practice, you have all these things, you start to figure out this new identity about yourself. You really start to figure yourself out. You're sitting on the bus listening to music with your own thoughts. You're, you're in study hall and being in this area. You're being pulled in all these directions, but you're still trying to figure out who you are. Because I truly don't think even at 10 to 18 you have no idea who you are yet. You have a, a, an understanding of what you like, but you have no idea who you really are. You haven't developed completely. And so I was 18 in this new environment. I was thriving. Everything was good. But I started to pick up on things that I didn't like about myself. I I realized I was getting really negative. I was in this environment where I didn't think I was really thriving. I, I obviously was, you know, being... I was performing, but I knew there was more, and I didn't know how to get more. I didn't know what more looked like, but I just knew I was in this place of comfortability. And I, I was always one that said, you know, "Once you're on a team, you're on a team. You don't, you don't leave your pack." Like, that's your pack. You grind it out, right? But there's also a point where it's like, "Okay, am I grinding it out because this is actually where I'm meant to be, or do I take care of myself mentally, and allow physically and emotionally follow behind that and say, 'Hey, maybe this isn't the environment for me. Maybe this isn't where I'm meant to, it truly excel. Maybe this isn't where I'm truly meant to perform.'" And I had to step back. Luckily for me, that was during COVID, so I had this whole time at my house with my family to really think about things. And I remember getting on these calls with my team and being like, "What's going on?" Like, "I'm not really enjoying this. I'm not really connecting with my teammates. I don't really feel like this is where I should be. I'm not growing mentally, physically, emotionally. I'm just staying stagnant." I was stuck. And I had to ask myself, "Is it because of what I'm doing, or is it because the people around me?" Because I, I don't know if you guys have heard this, but you are a reflection of the five people you spend the most time with. So whoever you, your friends are, those five people, or your parents, maybe you spend the most time with them, you are a reflection of them. So how they act is how you're gonna act. How they talk to themselves is how you're gonna talk to yourself. Like, you are a reflection of the five people you spend the most time with. And so I realized I was picking up on other people's behaviors, and I was not in the environment. So I took a decision for myself to leave, because I knew there was more in the tank, and then I knew there was more I could do, and a bigger impact. And yes, more success, as selfish as that is. There was more I could, I could get, and I, I knew I was built for more. And so it was a really, really hard decision. I remember being up at night crying and being like, "This, this isn't okay. I'm leaving a pack. I committed here. I gave them my word, and I feel like I'm breaking that trust." But I knew it was for my own sake. I knew it was because I had to take care of myself. And at the end of the day, you always have to choose yourself. So if you're in an environment where you don't feel like you can thrive, you can succeed, one, ask yourself, is it because of what you're doing internally and externally? And then if you're like, "I'm doing everything I need to do," okay, now let's look to the outside and be like, "Okay, how can I adjust to this?" So I made that decision to leave. I- Crazy enough, had a dream. My, uh, my mom's mom passed away when I was 10 years old, and I was pretty close to her, and I hadn't seen her in years. So at this point, I'm what? 19 years old, almost 20, well, probably 20. And she came into my dream, and I remember she was sitting in my room and told me... I was between three schools, um, and told me that I should go to the University of Florida. That's where I'm meant to be. And for some reason, you- some people call it crazy, some people call it intuition, I went with that. I was like, "You know what? That's where I'm going. I'm meant to be there. I know something good's coming out of that." That was probably the best decision I ever made for myself, not just as an athlete, but as a human. I learned more about myself at the University of Florida than I could imagine. I had the resources necessary in order to succeed as a woman and as an, a student first. I was taken care of as a person. My mental health skyrocketed. I was around people who actually supported what I was doing. Not the jealousy like, "Oh yeah, I hope you win," and then they turn around and they're like, "Pfft, I, I hope I win more than her." No, I want someone that want my success more than they want their success, and vice versa. I want to see you succeed. I see the work you do, I want you to win. If that means I have to lose, great. You know what? I'll adjust. I will figure it out, but I want to see the people around me succeed. I want to see what's best for them. And so not only did I grow as that woman and lean into what I was built for, I exceeded on the softball field. I was comfortable, I was trusted, I was challenged in a healthy way. My coach took time to have these hard conversations with me. I'm very structured. I like... You know, I'm a task-oriented girl. I'm like boom, boom, boom, boom. Give me this, break it down. Oh, you don't like my swing on that one? Tell me why. Show me why, so I can understand what you're talking about. And he did that. He truly cared about who I was, which allowed me to take better care of myself and the teammates around me

Kara

Yeah. That's awesome. Yeah, that- it's so different. When I've asked multiple people these, these questions about, like, transitioning between different things and, and every answer is so different. But I love that idea of, like, finding out who you truly are and being true to that, and then just, just talking about if, if you're- one of your core values is that you want everybody around you to succeed, like, y- that's gonna come back to you, right? Whatever you put out into the people around you is what's gonna come back to you as well, and- Yep I think that's awesome. The more we cheer on each other, the more we're gonna get cheered on and, and have that exact same support system, so I think that's a great-

Skylar

Yeah, and to touch

Kara

on- a, a great mentality to have.

Skylar

To touch on what you said, just so you guys understand, if you're sitting there putting negative thoughts like, "Oh, I, I hope she doesn't win right here. I hope, you know, she..." I, I, I hope none of you guys are wishing injury, but, like, "I hope she gets hurt," or, "I hope, you know, she doesn't get a home run and wins the game 'cause I wanna be winning the game." That toxic behavior, there's always a full circle. So whatever you put out always comes back around. Like, just know that. If you're sitting there acting really bad, it might not happen immediately, but give it some time and that's gonna be a full circle and it always comes back around. My mom always said, "Karma always comes back around." So just continue to be good, continue to trust your people, continue to, you know, s- feed those positive thoughts, want to see people succeed. That doesn't mean you want to see yourself fail. Like, you obviously wanna be successful. But continue to lean into that because when you put good into the universe, it gives you good back, and vice versa.

Kara

Yeah, totally. All right, well those are, that's such, so much wisdom. I really appreciate all that you've shared, um, with these girls, and it's, it's so great to hear from somebody like you who has achieved so many of the goals that these girls have set out before them, and to hear, and to hear kind of like your path and your story of getting there, and how you were able to be successful. And I love, you said it a couple of times, the idea of the six inches between your head, right? You said your dad would tell you that all the time. Mm-hmm. Um, and just recognizing that physical talent will only ever take you so far. Yep. And in the end really, the, the difference between the good players and the great ones are what's, what's between the ears. 100%. Um, and so putting time and effort there really pays back big dividends, and I- 100% I can tell that you've seen that in your career as well.

Skylar

Yeah, if I could have l- I, if there's one regret, regret I have in life, it's I didn't learn or listen to that sooner. Like, I didn't understand, I would honestly say probably the last four years. Like, I, I knew it mattered, but there was always, you know, moments that I was flawed, I was human, and I, you know, I showed my butt, and I was selfish, and I was frustrated because I deserved to be frustrated though. Like, I put in so much work, I deserve to be frustrated. That's okay, 'cause I care. It's cool to care about things. But at the same time, you can't continue to act like that and expect things to change. So, like, you have to control your, your mindset, your six inches. And I, I told Kara before this, like, you can be scrambled eggs in the head. Like, you could be like, "Why am I not hitting the ball? Why am I not connecting? Why am I not, you know, playing through a ground ball? Why are my feet not working?" That's okay, but keep your, your, your birds, you know how birds fly in a V when they're flying home? Or north, south, whatever you wanna say, keep those Vs flying. So you can be all scrambled eggs, but keep them moving. Keep them flying in a pattern, keep them flying together, and things work out.

Kara

Yeah. Awesome. All right, well we want to open it up to all you girls here. Um, if you would like to ask Skylar a question, we got a couple in the chat. Uh, how did you know that you wanted to go to college? Um, does that mean specifically, like, which college, or that she wanted to go to college in general?

Skylar

I'll answer both. Okay, go for it. I knew I wanted to go to college because I wanted to play college softball. I wanted to be on that platform. Um, and like you guys know, there... Well, maybe you don't know, but there really wasn't, like, a other alternative. Like, it was, if you wanted to play at the highest level, college softball was the highest level. And that's something I wanted to do, but I also wanted to go to get a degree. Um, I feel like times have kinda changed now, where it's not, like, some people say as important to get a degree. I think college is probably one of the best and coolest times, because not only do you get to really figure yourself out, you get to meet new friends, you get to explore a lot of different options, and there's so many resources on these campuses of, um, different friend groups, different mentorships, different opportunities that you can tap into and take advantage of. And I think that is, like, a cool thing, 'cause you get to really learn what you like and what you don't like. You get to make friends with people, not just stuck at your high school. And so there's so many people from all over, and you get to have a different perspective on things. So I wanted to go not only just for softball, but just to kinda have this new environment and new people around me, and really grow as a, as a person and as a friend. Um, I thought that was really cool and a time that I wanted to capitalize on. And everyone says college is the best years of your life, and I honestly believe that. Like, yeah, going to the parties are sick, and you meet all these friends, and you're doing all these cool things, and you have no parents there, and there's no responsibilities in a way, but, like, it's just a moment of, like, you get to, like, let loose in a sense. And 'cause afterwards, being an adult, let me just tell you, is not that fun. Like, yeah, there's a lot of good, don't get me wrong, but adult bills and, like, trying to get adult money is... It's hard. And, like, it's not, it's not the most enjoyable. Like, there's a lot of hardships that come with it. It's a lot of q- of cool moments, too, don't get me wrong. Like, I g- I get to live in a house now by myself. I have, you know, all these cool things I get to do day in and day out. But, like, it also is hard, and I'm, I am the sole, um, you know, p- provider. So, like, I have to really take care of myself. Like, my parents aren't holding my hand anymore, doing my laundry and cooking me meals and cleaning the house. Like, I have to do all that. That's my responsibility. So yeah, it's, it's a lot. But- Um, now that you are a pro athlete, what is a day in your life look like?" So right now my day in the life, um, looks pretty much the same every single day. Obviously I'm in my heaviest part of training because I am heading over to Japan in the next, uh, week and a half. I leave not this coming up Monday, but the following Monday, so the 16th, and I'll be living in Japan for three and a half months. Um, so right now it looks... Usually I have the morning times for myself, so depending on when I have to be up for training, though it- it usually fluctuates, so like tomorrow's a little bit of an earlier day. So we'll go through my schedule for tomorrow. Tomorrow I'm gonna get up at 5:45. I'm gonna take care of my dog. I'm going to take him for a walk, um, make sure that he gets active and gets moving. I'm gonna come back, I'm gonna cook myself a really protein-dense, um, breakfast, probably some eggs, sourdough, and maybe some yogurt or something. I'm gonna make sure I get a really good meal in because breakfast is really important, and I'm trying to hit that protein in to fuel me for my training. I'm gonna head to the gym about 8:00 AM, where I will go and hit for about an hour to an hour and a half, depending on how, uh, things. Get some work in hitting-wise. I have speed at 10:00. So there's a group of us that go to speed every Wednesday, so I have speed work from 10:00 to 11:00, which is usually a lot of fun, but challenging too. But I've been working really hard on fixing my, uh, running technique, um, so that's been a challenge and kind of frustrating at moments, but that, that's always good. I love speed days. And then from there I'll have about 15, 20 minutes. I'll have my lunch packed, ready to go, 'cause I need to fuel up again. I'll drive 30 minutes to my fielding lesson. I'll go field from 11:45 to about 1:15, hour, hour and a half or so. Um, get my butt kicked, get challenged, uh, grow a lot during that. I've been working on a lot of things and cleaning up a lot of things. So if you think you get to the pro level and it's like, oh, you just know everything, you're wrong. I still go to hitting lessons. I still go to fielding lessons. I'm still learning. Do I, do I know more of my cues of, like, what I need to clean up? Absolutely, because I've paid attention to those mistakes, and I've learned how to process and, you know, adapt with those and make myself better. Um, so I've had prog- progression with that. And then from fielding, I'll come home- usually shut it down, but then it goes back into taking care of a dog. Uh, he is very active. He's nine months, so he wants to get outside. I'll probably eat, like, a little bit of another protein snack just 'cause I did have a heavy fielding thing, and then it's a lot of editing, a lot of emails, a lot of if I have calls or meetings during the afternoon. Um, if a podcast, if I have time for that. Kinda just taking care of myself mentally. I've done all my physical work, so I'm trying to take care of myself mentally now. Um, and then I'm actually gonna go to dinner with a friend since I do leave, um, in a week and a half, so I'm gonna go enjoy that. And then it'll be tucking myself in for bed and lay- laying down and closing my eyes, looking at the back of my eyelids 'cause I'm gonna be exhausted. So that's what a day of my life looks like. That's a

Kara

full day.

Skylar

Yeah. Today was the same thing. I got up, went for a walk. We walked three miles this morning. I got... Which was awesome. I loved that. Went to workouts. I had workouts at 11, so I played catch before workouts at 11, hitting right after workouts, and then I had PT right after hitting, and then I came home and my dog was like, "Hey, I need time." So we went to the dog park. He got, you know, he got his energy out. I did some work while I was there, and then I came back and cooked dinner and did all that. So yeah, it's a-

Wow

Skylar

it's make time for the things that matter to you. It's, it's never easy, but if it's a priority, if it's something you really care about, you find, you find time to get it done. And I... Yeah, there's never enough hours in a day. I'm sure a lot of people are like, "Oh, I never... I didn't get to get to that. There wasn't enough time." Maybe wake up 30 minutes earlier. Maybe take instead of 30 minutes of scrolling, can I do 30 minutes of glove work? Instead of that 30 minutes of, you know, watching TV, can I do some stretching? Like, you, you make time for the things that matter, and you find a way to get them in. So hope that answers that.

Kara

That's awesome. All right. Well, we want to be respectful of your time. Um, get these last few questions in, and then we'll, we'll go ahead and, and shut it down for tonight.

Warrior 1

Did you always know that you wanted to play shortstop?

Skylar

That's a good question, Um, yes and no. Uh, yes in the sense that I I like to be the leader. I like to be vocal. I like to be the leader of the infield. I like to have a sense of control. Um, I feel like I am a very, I guess you could say, dominant person, and I, I've known that for a long time. Like, my parents have told me, like, "Since you were little, like, you are very dominant. You know what you want. Like, lean into that." And so I wanted to have people look to me and be like, "What's going on?" Like, I wanted to control the tempo of the game. Like, I knew, I knew how to control myself and my attitude, and I want to control the tempo of the game. Um, doesn't mean I was perfect by it or any means, but I, I embraced that. So yes, in the sense that, you know, uh, I like to be the leader, the commander, um, of the infield, but also I think shortstop is, I'll say, the second hardest position. Um, I think second base is really hard. I think it doesn't get a lot of justice for what you have to do at second base because you have bunt coverage, steal coverage, infield, and, like, there's a lot of things that happen. But I know with shortstop there's just such an athletic, uh, ability behind that. Like, you have to have range, you have to have arm, you have to be vocal, you have to be a leader. Like, there's so many things that I, I craved about shortstop. It wasn't something I was like, "I'm going to be a shortstop," but back of my head, like, I'm working to be the leader of the infield. I want that. I'm also scared to play third base, so that kind of knocks that out. And first base I, I actually do enjoy, but shortstop was just like my, my comfort zone, honestly. Where I, where I thrived the most.

Kara

Yeah. All right. What's your favorite thing about Florida?

Skylar

Oh God, one thing The environment, uh, in all regards, football games, softball games, baseball games, school, uh, walking on campus, the environment is so electric and so cozy and warming. And, like, when you go there... Like, I have seen Gator fans in every airport, at least, at least one Gator person. And, like, it's just a, a sense of pride when you go to Florida and you see someone, you're like, "Go Gators," and they're like, "Go Gators." Like, it is just so... Like, I saw three people on my walk this morning, I'm like, "Go Gators." They're like, "Go Gators." I'm like, "Hell yeah." Like, let's go. Like, I love that. So, like, there's just, like, a sense of, like, pride in that. But, like, it's just the environment. How do you talk positively to yourself consistently and not let judgment control you? Practice. It is not something you're gonna learn overnight. It's not something I just, like, you know, picked up on and was like, "Oh, yeah, I'm gonna be so confident." Like, you... It's, it's something you gotta practice. Stick a sticky note on your mirror. Give your high f- self a high five every morning. Like, you have to practice. Just like you wanna practice your hitting, practice your fielding, you have to practice having that good self-talk. You have to be able to pick up on moments like, hey, like I'm, I'm, I'm not feeling too well. Okay, that's fine. Like, you have to learn how to adapt that. Like, is that an excuse? Are you talking to yourself negatively or are you pointing out something and you're persevering through that? There's a difference, right? So you have to learn how, how you think in moments and, like, be able to adjust when necessary. And then not let judgment control you. Never take advice or listen to someone, or never listen to someone you wouldn't take advice from. So if it's someone, a random boy at school, and you wouldn't ask him for advice, then what he has to say does not matter. Like, legit does not matter. The only people's opinion that matter besides yours is the people you would go to and ask advice from, your parents, your best friend. That, those are people's opinions matter. Does this dress look good on me? I'm not gonna ask a random kid at school. I don't care what they think. I wanna ask my best friend, my mom, "Does this dress look good on me?" Like, never let someone's, you know, words or actions or something bother you if you wouldn't ask advice from them. I think that's something I've always told myself, is if I wanna ask you what you think about something, I don't really care what you have to say. Also, like, who are you? Like, what? That, that's my two cents on that.

Kara

Yeah. Patience is, is a huge thing. And, and true or false, Skylar, you are now perfect at self-talk.

Skylar

False.

Kara

Yeah. Right? Like, I think that's, that's a big thing that gets overlooked. Like, honestly, that self-talk piece is something that's never just gonna go away. It's, you're not gonna get perfect at it because our, our brains are wired in such a way that it's easier for those negative thoughts to come forward than the positive ones. And so it's something that you will be constantly, constantly working on, and it gets better with practice. It doesn't go away, and it doesn't get perfect.

Skylar

Yep. And just to feed into that, and I'll be done. Awesome. I could talk all night. Like, I, I still have those negative thoughts. I still have those moments. Like this morning, like I said, I woke up, I'm doing my thing. I'm like, let's go for a walk. I'm sitting on my phone for a second. I'm enjoying my drink. I'm, you know, having hot water, whatever, and I'm, I'm comparing myself to this one girl on the internet, and I'm like, oh, like, she just has it so easy. She just has it all figured out. Like, that's not fair. And I'm like, "Pfft, phone down." I'm like, "That's it." We're gonna put the phone down. I'm gonna put my shoes on. I'm gonna go outside, and I'm gonna walk. And I walked. Well, what happened on that walk? Those thoughts started coming back. I'm like, "I'm feeling good, I'm feeling good. Oh, but she, she has it so easy." And I, I had to sit there and legit talk to myself out loud. Like, it's things like that. Like you... Not only am I thinking those positive thoughts, but I'm saying it out loud, and I'm hearing myself say them. That it's like, okay, I'm feeding myself those thoughts. Whether I thought they were true in that moment, I picked up on it, and I was sitting there like, "Oh, no. Nope. Positive, positive, positive, positive." Like, just throw the... Like, throwing, throwing good fuel my way. I'm throwing good karma. Like, I'm talking to myself nice. And what happened? 20 minutes later I'm like, "I'm untouchable. You can't tell me anything." Like, I- I, I have it going on. I'm having the best day of my life. You know, let's, let's turn this music on. I'm heading to the gym. Let's get after it. Like, it's just a switch like that. I could have sat there and been like, "I'm so tired. Like, I got eight and a half hours of sleep. Why am I tired? Oh, I'm so tired." Now I'm telling myself I'm tired. "Oh, I don't really wanna go work out." Now, now what I wanna do, I don't wanna work out. Like, it's just practice. Practice, practice, practice, practice, practice. And something you have to choose every single day. 'Cause even at my age, even though I've sort of figured it out, I don't have it all the way. I'm not perfect. That is part of being human. You are going to have bad days. It is okay. Pat yourself on the back, and figure out how to show up better tomorrow.

Kara

That's awesome. Well, Skylar, I think we really all could sit here and just listen to you talk all day. Like, maybe we need to have you come back. I don't know. This is- I know. I love- this has been such

Skylar

a good conversation. I, wait, this, like, I, I cred you guys for asking questions and being engaged. Like, it makes it so much more enjoyable for me, and just allows me to feed into you guys more. So I appreciate you guys coming, ready to listen, ready to ask questions. It means the world to me, so thank you guys, and thanks for having me tonight.

Kara

Yeah. Well, thank you so much. We really, really appreciate you, you taking the time to come chat with us. We wish you all the best luck in Japan. That's gonna be super awesome- Thank you to be over there. Wish you the best of luck this summer in Athletes Unlimited. I, I bet you anything, there'll be a handful of these girls, um, at some of your games as you guys travel around. So-

Skylar

Yeah, I hope

Kara

to see you all over there um, we really, really appreciate

Skylar

it. I do hope to see you guys on Instagram. If you wanna see some cool Japan things and all the content, just make sure you tune in, 'cause I'm gonna have no one else there but myself. So there's gonna be a lot of content- and a lot of stuff going on, so make sure you tune into that.

Kara

That's awesome. Well, thank you so much. We really, really appreciate your time.

Contributor

Amanda Schaefer

Host