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Mom Get Off The Wifi
A comedy based podcast from two people who met on the internet brought to you by Novairz and BigDaddyFatSax
Mom Get Off The Wifi
Puberty Therapy
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Welcome back to Mom Get Off The Wifi. A podcast with two people (Novairz & Bigdaddyfatsax) who became friends over the internet. Finally out of hiatus after years and back with weekly episodes every Thursday!
Edited by Zahra
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Mom, get off the Wi-Fi. Get off the Wi-Fi, bitch. Mom! Get off the Wi-Fi! What the f are you doing? Mom! I told you once I were to again! Get off the f your Wi-Fi! Porn producer.
SPEAKER_01Hell yeah.
SPEAKER_00Really?
SPEAKER_01Why do you look at the camera like that?
SPEAKER_00I don't know. I don't know. I was like, bro, it's been a thing now since I've been working at the restaurant. I was just like, whenever in real life, like if I'm thinking or I'm deep in thought, I just like look to the left. I just do that. I just do that all the time now. You know, because I just like reminisce in my brain right now by myself without speaking of when we watch porn together.
SPEAKER_01Okay, wait, hold on. You have to wait, whoa. Okay.
SPEAKER_00We literally did that.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, but you make it sound like we were like in the same room watching porn together. That's not how that went.
SPEAKER_00I mean, so we've only been in the same room like for a couple days, you know. So if we're in the same room more often, it'd probably happen. No. Why? It happened when we were that's kind of crazy. Like, you have to go through like you have to go through likes to watch porn together without even being next to each other. What are you talking about? I feel like that's a little more crazy.
SPEAKER_01No, no, no, no, no. You all right. So, first off, that sounds insane. You you were drunk, it was a really long stream, you were like, fat sex, get on stream, let's talk, whatever, whatever. We talked. You got to the point where you were telling me about the latest fetish you were having.
SPEAKER_00It's not a fetish.
SPEAKER_01Okay, it was a phase for sure. It's a what? It was a phase for sure.
SPEAKER_00A phase, yeah, a phase.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, okay. You you were telling me about your latest phase, and um you were like, it I like ugly redheads.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And I was like, what does that mean?
SPEAKER_00I still have a thing for it. I think so.
SPEAKER_01Oh, so it's not it's not right now, it's not a phase. Yeah, I mean, but this was like this was a long time ago, bro.
SPEAKER_00This was a long time ago.
SPEAKER_01Is this a lifestyle now?
SPEAKER_00I wouldn't be opposed. Like, you know, if I if I found like the right, like ugly redhead, I might be like, oh, hell yeah.
SPEAKER_01Hell yeah. You know?
SPEAKER_00Okay, hell yeah.
SPEAKER_01Ladies, you're redhead, hit at my bro boy. You know what I'm saying?
SPEAKER_00I got a thing for gingers, you know? Ugly gingers. You can't be a hot ginger, ugly, yeah, yeah. If you're hot and you're ginger, get the fuck out of here. You know, you don't qualify. You don't qualify. You can get the fuck out of here.
SPEAKER_01The specific one he was talking about too. If we're rating like obvious like old school scale one to ten, she was probably like a solid four, bro. Face wise, yeah.
SPEAKER_00Oh, yeah, yeah. Facewise, bro. She was busted, bro. She was busted. I was in love. Oh my god.
SPEAKER_01So this motherfucker had me pull up, he had the whole video, the title remembered exact one. And he was like, This is go to this website here. Let's see.
SPEAKER_00I think it's the one that pops up a lot for everybody, too. Let's see. In the comments, if you're on YouTube, try to uh just name the porn star that I'm thinking of, right? Or corn star, you know. Uh, so remember, ugly redhead, right? But let's not even ugly to be like she's fire. I think ugly redheads are fire, but I'm just saying, like, someone might see her fully clothed and be like, what? You know, and uh okay, so the scene.
SPEAKER_01I can't even drink my dream, bro.
SPEAKER_00The scene, she uh is trying to um pour a bowl of cereal, but her stepbrother used all the cereal, and she was like, What the hell, bro? Why'd you use all the cereal? He's like, You always use all the cereal, blah blah. And then he starts pouring the milk on her, you know, and then she's like, What the hell? And then she takes off her shirt and they start fighting, and one thing leads to another.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, he had me verify this video.
SPEAKER_00That's the exact video that he watched. Leave it in the comments if you know what I'm talking about.
SPEAKER_01She was an ugly redhead, bro. He made me watch this like this, like you're watching it right here on your streaming platform. We were face to face. I had it on my phone, looked it up, and I was like, Yeah, bro, she's ugly. Like, congratulations.
SPEAKER_00I don't know, I don't know what the fuck you want out of this. I was like, watch this scene though. You know, I don't I don't think that you're like you're truly friends if you could do that without it being weird, you know?
SPEAKER_01It wasn't, yeah, and that's because it wasn't weird. It was just like it was six in the morning, by the way. Yeah, it was like that. I think that's what made it weird. It was like, damn, bro, I gotta wake up and do this shit right now, dog. Like, my my voice hadn't even like un my voice hadn't even changed it. I was still like, you know, like fucking Louis Armstrong at six o'clock in the morning, still just woking up like Red Roses, dude.
SPEAKER_00That's how fat check sounds when he loses his voice. It's pretty funny.
SPEAKER_01That was that was a great time, bro. You I really miss you being at the restaurant whenever you were like in your prime doing shit. Yeah, prime restaurant.
SPEAKER_00Because even now at the restaurant, I'm just there, bro. I'm just clocking in, clocking out, like, and I'm trying to get that money, you know, but uh I don't make any money. Wait, that's not crazy. That's not crazy because now I'm saying like if I was at the restaurant, I'd be trying to get money. I told everyone to unsubscribe, you know? Yeah, so that means me going for like making around 200 subs a month, which isn't crazy. I'm at like eight, which means I don't even get payout. So this is not like you know, the same thing.
SPEAKER_01It'll take them like four months to get a payout.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah. It'll take literally forever to like I you I don't even get a payout, which is fine. So I'm already kind of on there just to be on there. But before when we're on there, it's like watching porn and like just doing things, like I feel like that was like that was cool. I wonder who's gonna get it right. I feel like there's one person that's gonna say it right away and it's Ray Han. If you guys are Rahan, uh he does listen from time to time, so we'll know if he listens. He's gonna be the first comment, it's just gonna be the name is Rehan. Two seconds after the pod's uploaded.
SPEAKER_01He's gonna link it. If I could probably say, I would think it would be him. And I feel like we have a few more gooners um who would who might be able to be like, oh, I know which one you're talking about, but I don't know the actual person. You know what I mean?
SPEAKER_00Well, in the beginning of the code.
SPEAKER_01They won't drop into the comments because they don't want everybody to know they're goners.
SPEAKER_00In the beginning, they're fully clothed. So Zara, if you want the link to this, I'll send it to you. And you could just screenshot when they're fully clothed and you could put it on screen. Like now, because I think everyone probably guessed now. What trying to help her editing out?
SPEAKER_01I dude, I know. Sometimes I feel so bad for Zara. Like, I'm not saying Zara's innocent by any means. Do you know what I mean? Like, Zara's very abusive, like to the people around her and shit like that, but like, god damn, man. The last thing she wants to be talking about or like being editing in is just fucking dicks and porn links, you know what I mean?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and if you were to watch it, the way I explained it was so well. If you were to watch it.
SPEAKER_01That'd be so bad, dude. Um, no.
SPEAKER_00I can't even imagine it. I feel bad even talking about it. Like, I don't think I'm gonna send her the link. The seeing Zara just over here just innocently just trying, she's just she's just working her fingers off, trying to fucking edit our shit, and then she's like, nah, I gotta watch this fucking porno. I don't think I could do that.
SPEAKER_01I think, you know, I know we're not a she doesn't watch it either. Like, it she does she'll maybe do the first watch through like tonight. We're recording this at night, right? She'll do the first watch through like late at night, like after you finish uploading and stuff like that. She'll wake up, watch the thing, and I get like, and that's the first 20 minutes that we talked about. It's just and she's like, I gotta wake up and listen to this fuck ass shit. Like, what the fuck, bro? R.I.P. Zara is in the YouTube comments, bro.
SPEAKER_00She's not dead.
SPEAKER_01No, yeah, but still. A stuck folla. Don't worry, Zara.
SPEAKER_00I got you. I think that way. Is that what you said? I don't know if that's what you said.
SPEAKER_01I you know better than I do, motherfucker. I don't know. Just watch.
SPEAKER_00Just watch. We're gonna get flagged for me saying a stuckful la and not talking about porn. Like, whoa, dude. Like, whoa, dude. Chill out, man. Chill.
SPEAKER_01Czar, if you hear my drink, just edit a picture of sad boy peeing right now.
unknownWhat?
SPEAKER_01Can I can I bitch one more time about my job, man? No, it's not really, it's not really a bitch.
SPEAKER_00Please. Anybody that's listening to us, hopefully you guys got a job. So this is when we all relate right now. This is when we all relate. We're not like the other podcasters that just do this and rely on this shit. We have a job. We do all this shit. And then this is what we talk about, okay?
SPEAKER_01One million percent. It is not this okay. Now that now that let me take it back. It's not really a bitch, it's more of a curiosity type of thing, okay? Okay. And this is your new job, right? Not yet. Okay. I haven't started that one just yet. Oh, okay. Um, right now, I currently work in a plant, and it's basically a fucking signalist tunnel. So, like, if you wonder why FatSecs has been MIA from the Discord or from social media, it's because I don't know.
SPEAKER_00I hate that you said all the you referred to yourself as third person, though. I just need to point that out. Okay, so you can go on. You know, who the fuck are you? Like, okay, go on, go on.
SPEAKER_01If you wonder why I haven't done it, it's because I don't have any fucking signal. So I'm I'm, you know, doing my job, going through some stuff, you know, handing out inventory, whatever the case is. Bro, you know how you like the every business has boards and they have like KPIs to meet and stuff like that?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, bro. I'm the one that handles KPIs at work, bro. It's fucking I feel like a little like I'm paid to be like a little snitch, but okay.
SPEAKER_01And you you know how fucking dumb that shit is, right? When you're just like, oh, so-and-so's not meeting KPI or so-and-so's doing great, so let's celebrate that, bro.
SPEAKER_00You get a little pip, yeah, and then yeah, I know exactly what you're talking about, bro. Fucking jobs, bro. Am I right?
SPEAKER_01I'm telling you, okay. I was looking at this one, and on this one, they're keeping track of fatalities, bro. How many people fucking die at this company for you to keep track of fucking fatalities, dog? Wait, like what are you serious? Yeah, I'm dead ass, bro. There's like it's like near misses, it's not a good one. Why is that on the KPI? Why is it on the KPI?
SPEAKER_00Is all the way at the top, bro? Wait, why is it on the KPI though? I'm telling you, dude. But why? They're like, Well, he didn't he didn't have a really good day today. We need to dock him some points because he died. What are you talking about? Why is that on the KPI? That even shouldn't even be on there. That's not that's not thinking it should be on anywhere.
SPEAKER_01That's disrespectful as shit. I had to ask, I was like, hey, how many people die here? They were like mentally or physically? I was like, God damn.
SPEAKER_00Okay, I didn't know that was in the depression. It's like your first week there, like you guys are not selling this to me, man.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, bro. I I that threw me off so bad. I could you imagine going somewhere to work and the first thing, like you like, you know, your orientation, ha ha ha, I love my job. And then you look and you see on the board track metrics, and it's like, oh, this, okay, cool. And then safety at the bottom, safety, there's a little pyramid at the top, and at the pyramid it says fatalities. And what do you think? That's fucking insane. Does that throw up red flags? Like, if it's zero, it's like, okay, cool, but still it's being tracked. But if there's like one or two or three, at what point you're just like, you know, okay, this is not the job.
SPEAKER_00Honestly, I'm not gonna lie, I don't understand why that's even on it. But part of my job, a big part of my job is to review everything everybody has done, every little tiny thing everyone's done, right? And then if I see a fuck up or if I see this, I put it on their KPI, you know, and then they'll have like a one-on-one talk. Like, you know, the managers for their department will go and talk with them and blah blah blah. And like if they're really low, they'll get a pip. And like, you know, how do you improve all this? You know, you the regular job scene, if you guys know what it is, right? And if somebody died, I'm not gonna put it on there, bro. If somebody died, I'm not gonna be like, um, you know, June 28th, he died. I'm not gonna put are you what kind of what is that?
SPEAKER_01I've never been at a company anywhere, and I've worked like in the oil field, you know what I mean? Yeah, like where motherfuckers die semi-regularly. That's a thing. Well, I say, okay, I'm not sure. Not semi-regularly, but motherfuckers are just dropping like flies out there. That's not a good thing. But it's a dangerous job.
SPEAKER_00It's a dangerous job, you know.
SPEAKER_01So it's like, how the fuck does that how's that like something that you track, bro? Why is that something that you tracked?
SPEAKER_00All right, that shouldn't be something you track. And why even tracking it? I'm assuming they're not coming back to work if they're dead, you know. Just fucking get rid of it. Like, why is it even on there? Wait, that's honestly insane.
SPEAKER_01That that did lead to like, oh, well, you know, these are like other common workplace accidents, bro. I didn't think motherfuckers, and it this goes this brings me back to like elementary school and and shit like that, where it was like, okay, what are in elementary school, you like drugs are dangerous. Like, like somebody's gonna offer you drugs and you're gonna die. Or if you have sex without a condom, you're gonna get an STD and you're gonna die.
SPEAKER_00Like in like in mean girls, like when is a gym teacher doing sex at? Don't have sex. You're gonna have sex and you're gonna get pregnant and then you're gonna die. And like, yeah, you're gonna get an S T D and you're gonna die. Like, this is that's always the end.
SPEAKER_01That's always the end. Yeah, yeah, they make it so horrific, bro. And so, like, like you you do these things and it's like, oh my god, bro. What is what is the next thing that they're gonna fucking track? Like, I like I can't even lose a fucking finger without me being put on a fucking KPI bit. You know what I mean? Like that's crazy, this is my job, bro. So yeah, I crazy metrics, you know. If you have some, drop them in the fucking comment section. But it's not it's not worse than dying, you know what I mean?
SPEAKER_00I'm so nice when it comes to that KPI shit. Like, if they're there, I'm I'd be like, shoot them a message like, hey, yo, like just fix this shit, and I won't put your name down. Like, I don't want to. You know what I mean? Like, I'd be like, bro, it's not that big of a deal. Just like do that and just remember that we talked. So, like, you know, because I whatever I say to them, that's not gonna count against them. I think it's bullshit if somebody gets fired over something so like small. Like, bro, leave it alone. Like, it's gonna be fine. We're gonna be okay. I don't know. I'm not saying it's like not, like, obviously, there's some people that just don't do shit. I get it, and you have to track that, but like sometimes somebody makes them like is just having a bad week, you know? You're about to get fired, dude. That's just gonna make it worse, bro. I'm looking out for their mental health. Like, motherfuckers got shit going on. Let's not do it because they missed, they fucking forgot a comma in their fucking email. Like, I'm not fuck that. Like, what are we talking about? My neurologist is so fucking hot. I grew up with a neurologist because of epilepsy and stuff.
SPEAKER_01So I always like, what dude?
unknownOh my god.
SPEAKER_01This is the first time I'm hearing about this, so I'm like, okay, hold on, hold on.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, this is a whole new story. I never thought about talking about her ever, but like, you know, I've known her for obviously forever. She's so goddamn hot. The last time Primer saw her was a year ago, right?
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_00She's still like I'm older now, like obviously, you know. Yeah, but she's I can make something happen. She is still so fucking hot. Like, still when I was a kid, bro. When I was a kid, she was like a young neurologist, right? She was young.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00But like I'm a kid, you know? I'm I'm a young kid, dude. Whatever. And over there, like, I'm going to puberty, I'm getting boners and stuff. She's like, blow on this windmill. And we have that, we they put wires to my head. It's like blow on this windmill, and I'm just getting hard. And I'm just like, ah shit. You know, if you go through puberty, you can't handle your hormones. But like, you can't handle your hormones. That's I'm just telling you the truth. And but man, I when I saw her last year again, and because I don't go as often, and I was like, oh my fucking god, she is still like, bro, like, I can't even explain to you. Like, she's just so fucking hot. She's just she's just got like better with age. I feel like I'm not gonna lie, you know? Like she, like, she's just she's just I don't know, I don't know what to do. I never know what to do. Like, I literally get nervous talking to her.
SPEAKER_01She's never speechless, by the way. This motherfucker's speechless. I talk all the time.
SPEAKER_00Bro, god damn. Well, she was the first one that told me that I was mentally challenged. She's the first one to know. Yeah, because I mean it's not like mentally challenged, but they say mentally challenged when your brain waves don't work the same as everybody. Yeah. So that's like that's what you are. And like the first girl to know that I was like slow. I've had the biggest crush on.
SPEAKER_01Alright, that's okay. That sounds crazy. I'm sorry.
SPEAKER_00My brain waves are literally slow. I don't I don't think there's any other way to which is crazy because I think my brain waves are pretty fast. I think I'm pretty witty.
SPEAKER_01But on paper, there's a okay, there's a difference between witty and everything else. You know what I mean?
SPEAKER_00Like, yeah, I guess.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, because I feel like sometimes you just be saying shit without thinking about it, anyways. You know what I mean? So like your mouth just regurgitates some fucked up ass shit, you know? Yeah, okay. Actually, you talked about that. I want to talk about that. Puberty for a boy, bro.
SPEAKER_00Oh my fucking god. Bonus for days, bro.
SPEAKER_01Days, dude. Like like if going through middle school and like this is because in elementary school, you don't have periods. You know what I mean? Like, you're not going from one class to another class to another class. That very rarely happens. When you go to middle school, that's when you start to get into like, oh, I gotta go to algebra, I gotta go to social studies, I gotta go to English, I gotta go to whatever, I gotta go to whatever. Bro, you having raging fucking I I'd probably have to say sixth grade, sixth or seventh grade.
SPEAKER_00Really? I think I went through puberty around like ninth grade.
SPEAKER_01Really?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, in high school, which was terrible. But I'm being dead ass. Like in high school, I think I went through puberty. Uh and it was and that was that was crazy. It was just fucking it was bad.
SPEAKER_01That had to be because like seniors are fucking bad.
SPEAKER_00I know, so like and and I don't I didn't have I didn't have like blocks, I had periods, so it's like you have these eight or nine periods or whatever, so you're just going down the hall every every time after class, like it was hard, bro. And I was like, I don't know how to I don't know how to not be hard.
SPEAKER_01No, you're gonna be next, you're gonna be late for your next class because you're sitting there with a fucking raging boner, like trying, like waiting to fucking, you know what I mean? Like and you're like, oh, I gotta see so-and-so before I get to my next class because my fucking dick is hard.
SPEAKER_00You know, like sometimes I mean okay, if people are listening, if there's girls that are listening, like, ew, shut the fuck up. All right. Sometimes what the fuck? Yeah, sometimes you're sitting there and you're getting a boner in class, and then you're about you know you're about to like uh go to the next class and you're getting a boner, and you're like, no, don't. Like you're fighting it. You're fighting it. You're like, don't like it's not like oh, I'm just fucking hard and hardy. No, you don't want the boner, you don't want it to be there. No, you know, this to all guys. This is like, you know, it's that the douchebag guys, the nice guys, they all got boners, you know, and it's like you're trying to like not do and then like you know what my technique was? And it was it became foolproof. Wait, do you have a technique to like make your boner go away?
SPEAKER_01I didn't know this until probably about like six years ago, but no, I never had it. I never had a technique technique then, you know what I mean?
SPEAKER_00Mine was holding my breath, so the blood rushes to my head and it worked. It did.
SPEAKER_01It almost blew in the face.
SPEAKER_00I don't know why. You have to hold your breath till you like you feel like you're gonna faint, and then your boner goes away. It does, but then you gotta rush back because the blood's rushing back down, so you do gotta bring a nice class real fast. But no, that is the thing. And I I know there's a girl, like I'm already to see. I'm trying to like, there's a girl somewhere listening to this and being like, oh, so hard having a boner. We have periods. All right, well, I'm not talking about you, talking about us, you know. Don't do that. I understand periods are bad. Maybe we'll have a girl on here just to talk about periods. Who knows?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, because it I don't, it's not there's no way that it's like there's nothing embarrassing besides the period part about being a girl, you know what I mean? Because like, bro, I it that's one of the things that like I just could not fucking get through my head, right? Because everybody has that one teacher, right?
SPEAKER_00Where it was just like Miss Setapani, oh Miss Punani, Miss Setapani, Miss Setapani, Miss Miss Setapani, Miss Setapani, crazy ass.
SPEAKER_01Was she Hispanic?
SPEAKER_00Or she like girl, she was like a white blonde girl. She was a white blonde girl. What I don't know where that last name came from, but like, yeah, Miss Setapani.
SPEAKER_01What does she teach?
SPEAKER_00English.
SPEAKER_01It's always the English teachers, bro. It's always the English teachers, bro. What was your what was your teacher crush? Drop it in the comments. Not her name, not her name, her full government name.
SPEAKER_00The the full government name, where she teaches, just completely dox her. No, I'm gonna don't do that, don't do that. No, but like Miss Set of Dude, dude, the way she, you know, like she's first of all, very nice. I could see a whole future. Like, you know, as a kid, like, one, I'm hard because I'm going through puberty. Two, I thought she was so nice. I could see a whole future with us, you know. And then, like, she man, she had the fattest ass. Oh my god. She had iggy azalea ass without no BBL. She just had ass, bro. She'd be like, you know, going over to help somebody. She'd like bend over and she'd like, and I'm over here, my seat's over here, and ass is in my face. I'm like, oh my god. Oh my god. Dude, for real. For real. You just see you just see my desk, which is connected to metal, just levitating. It's just fucking levitating. Bro, explain me your puberty stuff. Who was your teacher?
SPEAKER_01This one was freshman year.
SPEAKER_00Okay. Mine was freshman year too.
SPEAKER_01And she was Hispanic. She was a math teacher. Um, my boy Jose, you know who I'm talking about. This is how I met my boy Jose in this class. Dude.
SPEAKER_00Was that what it was?
SPEAKER_01I think no, we weren't bonding about that, bro. It wasn't like, oh yeah, you're hard. I'm hard. Yeah, I'm hard too.
SPEAKER_00We're both apart. Yo, you're gonna grab chips after school?
SPEAKER_01No, I dude, I felt so bad because like now thinking about it, right? Yeah, like I made it so obvious that I was hitting on this teacher, bro. Like, like if she gave in one inch, she was going directly to jail. Like, there's just no fucking doubt about it. Because I like I I did not hide that I was hitting.
SPEAKER_00I was not hitting on this teacher. I was just like, fuck.
SPEAKER_01Oh, really?
SPEAKER_00No, I was not hitting on her. No.
SPEAKER_01I didn't have that.
SPEAKER_00I didn't have crazy confidence until I was like a junior when I'd be like, okay.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. I feel you have to do that.
SPEAKER_00I feel like freshman, sophomore, I was a little reserved.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. It if puberty for me, besides the teacher part, was like was hard because it was just like, dude, you don't you you can't control you going through puberty. So like you're it's just hormones running through your body, and like you said, you're just kickstanding up like all the time, all the time, bro. In chemistry cast, like like dissecting a frog. You know what I mean? It's like, why? Why why why am I even fucking standing up for the Pledge of Allegiance right now? And I'm fucking dissecting the guys over here just like hard as hell just dissecting a frog? Yes, bro. Like, what the fuck am I doing? Like, there's nothing sexual about this whole fucking interaction, but I have to sit here fucking like six inches away from the fucking desk because I can't like like my wood's hitting wood. Like, I fucking that hurts. You know what I mean? Like, this is fucking annoying, you know. So it's just like, bro, why the fuck is this happening? So is you ever okay, okay.
SPEAKER_00Wait, wait, you ever try to press your boner down and be like, no?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's just so it's so funny to think about though of like you're you're getting hard and you don't want to be hard. No, like just to think about it, you're just pressing your you're pressing, you're hurting your penis and you're pressing it down, and your penis like, nah, I got plans for you, son. And it's just like just not giving up, bro. It's like, damn.
SPEAKER_01There is nothing more or worse than a boy going through puberty, dude.
SPEAKER_00There's just not because like well, for a girl probably going through puberty is probably crazy. Oh, yeah, okay. Yeah, going through puberty, you know what I mean?
SPEAKER_01Like, it is like you getting through your first sex time, it's like, okay, cool, you're probably never gonna have sex with that with that one girl ever again. You know what I mean? Like, there's there's very few chances, like the first person the boy ever has sex with is gonna be the last person that the boy ever has sex with. You know what I mean?
SPEAKER_00We're bringing up every pod on some boy meets world shit, you know. You're not gonna have a Cory Topaya situation.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, you know what I mean? It's just that's just just not gonna happen. And I I'm not saying that it happened, it happens more for girls anyways, it's just the days that we live in. So, like, out of all the things that guys go through and they're like from the moment that they're tadpoles to the moment that they're fucking retired, puberty has got to be the hardest time because it's like something you cannot control. Like, there's not you can't fucking think about sports, you can't think about dead relatives, you can't think it like nothing is going to stop you. It's full blown hard, bro. There's nothing that is gonna stop that.
SPEAKER_00Bro, dead relatives. If you're thinking about dead relatives, the thing is in a split second, you're gonna be thinking about some like naked, like hot girl. Like, yeah, your mind will go against you during pure review, or probably still not. Like, if you're gonna sit out here and think like dead grandma, dead grandma, that's not gonna work. Because your mind's gonna be like, oh yeah, I got something planned for you, son. And it's gonna be like fucking, it's gonna be like fucking who? Jessica Beale, fucking naked, or like Jessica Alba. Yeah, whatever Jessica. I've been saying a lot of Jessica's. I don't know why Jessica's just in my brain today. I don't know.
SPEAKER_01Who's who's the Jessica you've been seeing lately?
SPEAKER_00I don't know any Jessica, which is crazy. I'm an empath, I'll probably meet a Jessica. I'm going out tomorrow, so I'll probably meet a Jessica tomorrow.
SPEAKER_01Hell yeah.
SPEAKER_00Probably. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Is she gonna wait? Hold on. Is she gonna be redheaded?
SPEAKER_00I I hope so. Bro, I hope so. I don't know.
SPEAKER_01Or but you you do like black girls, so is she gonna be a are there black Jessica's? Have you ever met a black Jessica?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, literally Jessica.
SPEAKER_01That's is her name Jessica or Jessica? Her name's Jessica. Oh, is it really? That's crazy.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, she's like cousin or some shit.
SPEAKER_01You want to get into the the advice questions?
SPEAKER_00Oh, yeah. So I'm gonna try to be doing a song. I'm gonna like I don't know if I'm gonna be able to make the song. I'm gonna have like a song that goes like time for the advice, or like, I don't know, like just something really corny, but like fun.
SPEAKER_01Some like 80s segment. Yeah, yeah, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. And it's gonna be super short. Okay.
SPEAKER_00Guess what time it is? That's we'll work on this. We'll work on this. So, what I've noticed, as of the one that I'm reading right now, they all seem pretty real. So I don't really fuck around, but I'm gonna try to give real advice.
SPEAKER_01Okay.
SPEAKER_00And we'll see. We'll see. We'll see how I feel after I read it. If it pisses me off, yeah, then I can't. I was about to say I might do some bad cop.
SPEAKER_01We might we might intentionally do bad cop good cop shit, but it's but it's gonna end up being bad cop, bad cop.
SPEAKER_00Because if some of the shit pisses me off, then it pisses me off. Okay, so the whole thing, and if you guys don't know before listening to this right now, if you go into the description of whatever you're watching or listening to this on, there is a link uh called advice, and you can click on that, and then we will never know who you are, but you can submit what you need advice on, and you will hear us talk about it on the podcast. Anybody do you hate me? Yeah, no, okay, what the fuck? Okay, let's be serious, let's be serious. This is real advice. Somebody's actually going through something right now.
SPEAKER_01Pussy.
SPEAKER_00Okay, okay, okay. I feel alone sometimes in my life. There has been people I like and love, but never been able to say anything, and over time I lose friends and I don't know what to do. You didn't tell me anything. Hold on. No, no, no, no, no, no. I'm sorry. I'm not trying to, I'm not trying to be a dick. I feel alone sometimes in my life. There has been people I like and love. Okay, good, but never been able to say say what? Say anything, and over time I lose friends. You told me fucking nothing. Where's the fucking meat?
SPEAKER_01You gave me just two buns, no burger, no lettuce, no tomatoes, no sauce, no fucking seasoning, nothing.
SPEAKER_00I think this is a statement than a question.
SPEAKER_01Try again. How about that? Next one.
SPEAKER_00No, no, no. Honestly, I'm gonna be so real. You okay? Let me just explain it before somebody's listening. They're just so pissed off because they're waiting this whole episode just to hear this. This is in my life, there has been people I like and love. Good. Alright, that's a good thing. Everyone keep that in your brain, but never been able to say anything. Say what? What do you mean? What do you mean? Say what? Are you talking about somebody that you love and you can't say like, hey, I like you? Are you talking about a person? But you said friends later, and I don't know about that. And over time I lose friends and I don't know what to do. Now, from what you told me, honestly just speak your mind. I mean, I don't know, and I don't I it's so loosely based where I don't know exactly what you're talking about, and I think everybody here needs to learn uh English better and learn how to type better and type to where other people can comprehend things because what are you saying?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, because the only thing that that that that would like make sense to me about is like you get into a relationship with somebody, but then you lose your friends.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, that's like the closest thing to do. Yeah, but there's no there's no why. There's no like why is that happening? Yeah, there's no why. And I'm sorry that you feel alone sometimes. Trust me, I would love for you to resubmit and tell me why you feel alone and why you're losing your friends. I think that's the only way that we can really say anything, you know. I don't want to give you some bullshit answer. It's okay to write a paragraph in this hoe. It's okay, we will read it. No essays, but a paragraph, okay? No essays.
SPEAKER_01No essays, homes.
SPEAKER_00No essays, homes, please. Okay. All right. Next one, next one, next one. How do you guys go about self-doubt? And this can be anything performance and work, goals, or even looks.
SPEAKER_01Imposter syndrome. I think that's the like uh to me, because like the the whole looks thing is like, yeah, I might joke around about being ugly or whatever the case is, and I may not be your type or whatever, but I'm married, you know what I mean? So like the it I don't have to look good for anybody. Um but I think the like self-doubt thing that does play a huge role for me because a lot of the times it's like being a content creator, I don't feel like I'm worthy of like creating content, but it's one of those things like sad boy, pause Novere, whatever the fuck y'all want to call him, like he does blow you, bro. He he like if you're good at something, I don't know what that means though. That's what I'm saying. Pause. Okay, just like if you feel like you're not good at something, he will be like, no, you're good here. Just make sure you're doing this better. You know what I mean? I think a lot of that like self-doubt comes from the people that you have around you. So if you have good people around you who are like reassuring you of yes, you are doing the right path, but also not having yes men around you who are like the whole fucking I don't know if anybody's seen that Drake commercial here where KD is showing the shit.
SPEAKER_00Transcender. Transcender purple dog? Oh, purple's some good dog, dude. I dude, that's probably the best shit Drake's ever done. Oh my god, that's just hilarious.
SPEAKER_01I'm telling you, is if you don't have those people, then cool. You know what I mean? I think always having somebody there who can like level set with you, right? Mrs. Sacks is my level set, uh, my mom is my level set, sad boy is my level set. Where where it comes down to where, like, you know, if if you feel like not necessarily you're not worthy of what you're doing, but it's one of those things that's like you kind of have that self-doubt of like, I don't feel what I'm doing is like enough or good enough, then like you reach out to those people to like, okay, well, this is what you could do better, this is what you need to make sure that you are, you know, veering towards.
SPEAKER_00Obviously, it's easy to say, but not caring what other people think, you know? Because the self-doubt, all this shit, like what like you're basing it off of how other people I'm not saying that you are, but this is I feel like more common, right? Like, I'm uh I do a lot of things that a lot of people like around me in real life in my town aren't doing, right? So to a lot of people, I could look as like, oh, what the fuck is this guy doing? You know, it's easy to hate on or easy to do that, but it's about not caring how you're perceived. Like, you know, if you don't care about how you're perceived, no matter if you do a bad thing or a good thing, you're still doing you, and you'll be fine with that. And I think that's like a longer journey to like get over. I it's easier said than done for sure. But there's there's many a times. I remember when I even started working at the restaurant, quote unquote. You should know that by now, what I mean by that. But that was a very weird thing, like you know, especially I'm when I was an older person doing that, and I love doing it. There are certain people that were like, Oh, like what is he doing? You know what I mean? There's the then and it gives you like this self-doubt, like, oh, people don't fuck with me, this and that. The main thing is the people around you, it really doesn't matter, they are not humans, they are humans, but like in your brain, they should not matter, they should not like be a thing. And if somebody is saying something to you and it's hurting you and giving you like this doubt, I guess I would need to know what's giving you self-doubt, or if it's just something in your head, that's a whole different thing. If it's other people, yeah, if yeah, if there's uh if it's other people, I think it's just uh journey of not being not caring about how people perceive you. If it's yourself, that's a whole confidence thing, right? I guess that's those two things it's other people or yourself, that's a confidence thing. Um and you don't need to have somebody in your corner to be like, yeah, you're doing that, you don't need that, you know. It is nice to have that, it is nice to have that. Trust me, it's nice to have that because they could completely fill the gap of what you needed the whole time, you know.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, no, I I think the the the other thing to that, right, is people regardless of what you do, people like like there's people who might be like, that's weird, yeah, but then there's people who are gonna be like, yo, that's weird. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you can't tell the difference, right? Like R.I.P. Oliver Tree, right?
SPEAKER_02I feel like yeah, R.I.P.
SPEAKER_01Oliver Tree. R.I.P.
SPEAKER_02Oliver Tree for real.
SPEAKER_01R.I.P. Like, you know, the people who like pioneered shit that was like they started in one realm, right? But then it was always one thing that they kind of went off into a different path, and they made sure that it was one of those things that like those things were gonna be different whether they were here or not, because of the imprint that they left. You know what I mean? So, like, people love weird shit, bro. And you're gonna find that whole like whenever you don't feel like you're going with the grain and you're going against the grain, and people are gonna love that shit. People are gonna make sure that like that, like they big you up and they blow you up, and they make sure that you get the support. And I'll tell you right now, I'll tell you right now, bro, support comes more from the people that you don't know than from the people that you do know.
SPEAKER_00Yes, never expect your friends to be there for you to uh for like something you're trying to do, but honestly, don't be mad at them either. It's okay. Yeah, that's just something you need to accept, and it's and it's okay. Don't be going over here and be like, oh, my friends don't it's okay. They got their own shit going on, let them live their lives. Go put yourself out there and you're gonna find people that really like you. And I'm gonna tell you right now that there are, if you think that you're weird, if you think that you're doing something where it's giving you self-depth, there's gonna be people. If you put yourself out there, it's gonna there's gonna be people that really love what you're doing. The more weird you are. I know you didn't say you were weird, I'm not telling you you were weird, but I'm like, yeah, the more out there you are, the more people are gonna gravitate towards you because you're being real, you know? Like there's a lot of things that I have said or done that I probably in my head, you know, I was fighting against not doing of of anything I do, anything I've done, just because it'd be perceived weird, people will look at it weird, blah blah this and that, but you gotta understand we're all human. And if you thought about it, somebody else has too, or if you've done something, somebody else has too. People will connect with you more if you're just being more authentic. A lot of people hide who they are and how they are just because of you know the main point don't be afraid of other people perceiving you a certain type of way, and the same people that might be acting a certain way to you, if there are, are probably gonna be following your footsteps a year later once you made it. So uh there's that too. But if it's just yourself and all that, it's a confidence thing. But I'm just saying, just be out there. Everybody's well, we're waiting for you. I'll tell you that right now. I'm sure. Yeah, yeah, why not? I'm always be different, bro. Be weird, be different, be weird, have fun, put yourself out there. That's what I love to see. Be authentic, be you, like yeah, be you the whole self-doubt is like I'm assuming is like, oh trying to don't ever try to be different to please other people or please an image that you think that should be. Self-doubt, just be completely yourself, completely yourself, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Alright, I think that was great advice. You guys like that? I actually like that. I mean, yeah, someone called us uh millennial advice givers, and like what the fuck? Why the fuck would I ever take advice from a Gen Z motherfucker, bro? Are you kidding me? Let me take advice from a fucking semen that doesn't know anything. You know, if anything, you you should take advice from us, bro. We've been to it, bro. Shut the fuck up, bro.
SPEAKER_01Motherfucker, y'all used to eat Tide Pods. What the fuck does he even?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, y'all, like, you know, like are you taking advice from motherfuckers that are still on the same level? Because I'm not gonna, I don't know what I'm trying to say right now.
SPEAKER_01Y'all bunch of vapes, you like newports, bro. Fuck out of here.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, well, back in my day, yeah, but like at the same time, like we giving you advice from motherfuckers that have been through it. You don't want to take advice from somebody that hasn't been through it, and just the thing about Gen Z, oh my god, there's this one guy that I talk to on stream sometimes. I refuse to hang out with him on stream, you know, and uh because all he talks about are things that he thinks he knows. And it's like thinks he knows, thinks he knows, but he shits on me, and I'm like, bro, I'm just trying to give honest advice, you know? But he'll shit on me like, oh, you're just old. You're just old, you know? He'll say that's how he talks, and he'll be like that. And I'm just like, bro, like like what like why would I take okay? My main thing, okay. I know we're doing an advice segment, but I'll take how I'll tell you how I take advice, okay? I am not going to listen to somebody that hasn't been through it. I am not gonna listen to somebody that's telling me how to start a studio if they are just sitting there living at their mom's crib against like you know, uh Jay-Z or somebody or fucking Rick Rick Rubin or something like you think I wouldn't listen to them, but I'm gonna listen to some random ass dude over here because he just feels confident what he's saying. No, listen to people that works at finish line or something like that. Even if they have a job, like, bro, listen to people that have been through it. One motherfucker might sound and might make you feel like they know what they're talking about. I'll if you guys tell me something that I haven't been through, I'll tell you like I haven't been through it, but this is what I think. But don't take advice from somebody that hasn't been through it, and the motherfuckers that are gonna hear that are gonna be like, Man, this guy. No, you just love hearing yourself talk. That's the difference. That's that's why you're mad. You're mad because you really like hearing yourself talk, and you're mad that people won't take you seriously, but why should they? You haven't done anything. Work on your resume. If you were sent back 10 years, would you relive the same mistakes or fix what you did wrong?
SPEAKER_0110 years?
SPEAKER_00I guess I I could fix one thing, but it's it doesn't need like I'm fine with it not being fixed.
SPEAKER_01I don't think 10 years is enough though. Okay, so if we're talking about 10, like the what's happened in 10 years is like I graduated college, I married Mrs. Sacks, I had two kids, and I have retired my mom in the last 10 years.
SPEAKER_00I don't think you should take anything back.
SPEAKER_01You know what I mean? Yeah, you know what I mean?
SPEAKER_00Like I guess we're older than we don't know how old this person is, they might just think that so wait hold on. Yeah, real quick.
SPEAKER_0110 years ago, they might have they might have been 12. Or they might have been two. You know what I mean? Like this is like I gotta pee.
SPEAKER_00I gotta pee so bad.
SPEAKER_01I would definitely relive the same mistakes.
SPEAKER_00I would too. I think whatever I did wrong made me who I am.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. I I don't when when people ask that and and or when people answer that and they feel like, oh, I'm gonna change whatever they did, it's because they're hoping for a different person than who they are right now.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Simple. You know what I mean?
SPEAKER_00And if you haven't made any mistakes in your life, like if you left if you lived in life and you don't even think in your head that you made any mistakes, I feel like you turn into the worst person in the world. You know? I feel like you'd have you just turned into not a good person. And I don't know how I'm trying to like make that like relate, or but I just know it's true. Like, you know, I don't have like the middle part down of why that's true, but it has to be.
SPEAKER_01Like, yeah, I you have to be in touch with something. Not necessarily and like I don't want to say you have to stand for something, but you have to be in touch with something. And normally it's like like a like a situation, and that's when you that that situation is what makes you feel human, and that's where like where you start to feel a certain certain of certain way about something specific, right? And it can be like morally, it can be um standards you set, boundaries you set, whatever the case is, and I think that's where a lot of it comes from is like okay, well, that made me feel a type of way about something, so now I know that's where I draw the line, or now I know that's where I stand up, or now I know that's how I make sure that like this is who I am as a human being, and this is where I fall into place, like not necessarily within society, because that sounds like extreme, like overly extreme, but I mean I guess that could be the case too, right? Like, there's a lot of things that you could sit there and be like, you know, I'm not gonna do this in public, but I'm also not gonna do it in private, or I'm gonna do these things in public, or I'm not gonna do these things in public, but I am gonna do these things in private, you know what I mean? So it kind of depends on on how you are and how you view those things and how you want people to see you, you know.
SPEAKER_00I think we both agree on the same point that we won't, you know, fix mistakes in the past, so just Bob Ross your life, you know. You made a mistake, make that bitch into a bird. Yeah, you know, like you have to, yeah. That that's it. I think I think really that's it. Let's go with the next one. All right, next one. Here it goes. When you guys get okay, when you guys get up, wait, is this a question? When you guys get up in their popularity, can this guy named Zam okay, be y'all's personal barber before pods and shows asking for him on a serious? I haven't read this one. What's one financial advice you can give? What the fuck is this? What's financial what's one financial advice you can give me? I'm financially irresponsible. I should not be answering this. I'm gonna be dead ass. Uh I think Fat Tex might have learned more, even if he wasn't before, since he has kids and he has a family. I think he learned more. If you're asking for me, I'm probably in the same boat as you. I might have to not be in this conversation because I am uh financially responsible.
SPEAKER_01So one, Zam, yes, you can shave my head. Is this Zam? I I well, I don't know, but they're they're asking on behalf of Zam. So I'm just you know, I'm just answering two Zam. You know what I mean? Yes, Zam, you can shave my head.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, you could be our personal barber.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Uh the other point is I'm not gonna say I'm like financially responsible, right? But um if there's something I want, like I know how to financially get it, you know what I mean? Like if it's within reach, right? Like a few paychecks or you know, saving up for a couple of months or whatever the case is. Like I think I think I've gotten more responsible over the the last couple of years to make sure that like well, what do you do with your paychecks? Like in the most simplest terms, but right now I'm asking for me too.
SPEAKER_00I'm asking for me too, because I actually want to know this.
SPEAKER_01Right now, a lot of it's going towards ETFs, um, which is like stocks that pay dividends. From my understanding, it's stocks that pay dividends towards you like on a weekly or monthly basis, or weekly, bi-weekly, or monthly basis. Um, and I just reinvest those, and it it just kind of helps me like prepare for the future or whatever the case is. Um, I've actually started to put money aside for my kids, right? Um, how do you do that?
SPEAKER_00Okay, that part putting money aside, because even if I made ten thousand dollars bi-weekly, I would still put live paycheck to paycheck. Because I don't know really, I spend so much, I'm so financially irresponsible. I'm not saying this person, uh, I'm assuming, like, you know, is, but like, I like I'm off this is this is advice I need too.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, so a a lot of it is um high yield savings accounts, right? Right now, for me. Um, what like real big investors will tell you will be life life term insurance policies, and then from there it'll be uh um ETF stocks, stuff like that. And then once you get to a certain amount, it'll be like put your money in a trust.
SPEAKER_00See, but you said ETF, and it's not even the same acronym, but like I just when you whenever you say ETF, I think it escape uh from Tarkov. What what's an ETF? I'm sorry.
SPEAKER_01Every time you said ETF, I just I know it's not the same, and I know it's not even the same letters, but like so from my and like I said, this is me still just being brand new to it. But ETF is like you have a company, right? Novaire has a company, you're you're public, you're saying, hey, not necessarily we need this money, but you're willing to buy stocks X amount of shares or X dollar amount of shares and invest in my company. And whenever a cycle comes around of profits that we've made, we give you that money back in percentage of what you like owe from our company for the podcast? Well, once we have, I mean, yeah, once we have a threshold business, yeah. Yeah, once we have a business and we like are making money from it, and it's like, all right, cool. We like we want to have an arena that's named after us, and we want to be able to do Dina.
SPEAKER_00Uh we have okay, I'll tell you right now, we need 250 listeners to get uh sponsors. Once we have sponsors, uh, you know, there will be some money revenue, which I think that we should put back into the podcast until it's something, but at the same time, we could talk about that later. Yeah, but right now, so we need 250 listeners to make like two dollars, by the way. Not a lot, like you know, but right now we have an average of 18. So we're on our way, we're on our way, you know? Yeah, you know, we're never discouraged, but like that is very far from 250 to make two dollars, but we're there.
SPEAKER_01No, well, okay. I mean, to be fair, I think buying stocks in us is probably not a good idea, but in the future, who knows? Everything is a percentage game, right? Like right now, we need 250, right? We have we have 17 people who gave us five-star reviews on Spotify. You know, shout out to y'all.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, shout out to y'all for real.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, we had four people who gave us five-star reviews on Apple Podcasts, and I didn't check the other ones, but thank you everybody for the support. Obviously, nothing goes unnoticed, you know what I mean? Especially those of you who are illiterate and can't fucking type.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, well, we saw that shit too. Like, y'all left reviews and typed up something which was very nice, but some of you guys cannot spell, you know, cannot form a sentence, but you gotta know that we love you for that. We love you. I love that for you, you know. Fuck you. I hate this. I'm pulling that girl shit, bro. I'm pulling that girl shit. This is how I think this person sounds like. Hello, folks. I am in a pickle. I am living with a girlfriend who I am falling out of love with. She is great, but honestly, she's a little slow. As in, she's 25 and doesn't have her GED yet. I've had to teach her damn near everything, and lit wait, damn near everything, and little things tend to piss me off now. I'm a very patient guy, but man, it gets to a point. The only thing is, our bills are high if we separate. Also, her Caucasian father said, Okay, I can't say that word. Hold on, hold on. Also, her Caucasian father said N-word. This is the N-word. Okay, guys, I can't say that. Her Caucasian father said N-word to me and said, quote, he probably knows more black people than me, end quote. I'm black. I love her, but the stupidness and family ignorance is a lot. What should I do? I can cover rent, but I'll be barely squeezing by. Help, all caps, exclamation point.
SPEAKER_01I'm not gonna lie, bro. I hate this shit. Why you hate it? I hate this shit because it to me uh it sounds like you're finding every excuse to be miserable, bro.
SPEAKER_00I think they already said they want to leave her. That's what I'm saying.
SPEAKER_01So that's so that's something stay miserable.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, literally what they wrote, you I want to leave her. I I want I need to leave her, it seems like. Not need to, I want to leave her. I'll say that.
SPEAKER_01You don't fuck with her, you don't fuck with her family, you don't fuck with having to handle their extra responsibility. Like, dog, you you're you're you have nobody to blame but yourself here. Like you are making it to a point to where you're staying in a situation that you fucking despise. And I like I can't support that shit. Like, it sounds like you need to leave, cuz.
SPEAKER_00And it sounds like you know you already uh what you want to do.
SPEAKER_01And you're one of those people I talked about last episode. Motherfuckers, or I don't even know if it was in last episode, if it was kept in last episode, but motherfuckers are un are happy being unhappy, and you sound like a motherfucker who's happy being unhappy.
SPEAKER_00Might just be stuck, might just be stuck. We don't know how long this is. This could just be a little bit of how they're feeling. I mean, you're when there's time with somebody, it's like, yo, I spent well, I guess, I don't know.
SPEAKER_01No, I get you. Let's take it into consideration, right? You me and Mr. Sacks have been together for 11 years.
SPEAKER_0011 years. As of a couple weeks ago.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, as of as of a couple of weeks ago. I couldn't imagine. Oh, okay, yeah, thank you. I'm happy because you remember that. Not you, don't remember my birthday, but anyways. I still don't know. And it it I guess it's like an age thing, right? Like, I don't think, regardless, if if we had kids, if I wasn't happy, I wouldn't be here. Yeah, you know, like I know it's gonna be hard. I know it's gonna be a struggle. Like, could I make ends meet? Obviously, if I'd have to pay child support, obviously, if I'd have to pay alimony, like, come on, okay, okay, but let's be real, let's be real.
SPEAKER_00Let me try and relate to what they said. Have you ever felt like, and if you just don't want to answer, I mean I feel like that'd be an answer, but have you ever felt like I'm living with the girlfriend, or I'm with the girl that I'm falling out of love with? Have you ever felt like that? Being 11 years. Yeah, yeah. Oh, wait, talk your shit.
SPEAKER_01And I wasn't talking and I wasn't with them anymore. You know what I mean?
SPEAKER_00But that's different. I'm talking about being with them, bro.
SPEAKER_01I understand that's no, but that's what I'm saying. Like, like, okay, like, no, they're they're in a position where they're saying I'm with them and I I'm falling out of love with them, so I wasn't there anymore. You know what I mean? Like, it doesn't it doesn't take much for me to be to like put all of my emotions into a relationship, you know what I mean? Because like if I'm in, I'm in. Like, like you say, I I put my whole dick in it. Like, so it's one of those things that like I'm not gonna half ass a relationship, so here we are. If you if you want to be that type of person, then then why are you in the relationship to begin with?
SPEAKER_00So it's like I'm living with the girl who I'm feeling who I am falling out of love with, and you're saying that you guys did like kind of hey, we on our own shit. Obviously, went back, right? Is that what is that what you're saying? Wait, what the fuck are you saying? No, not am I tripping? Not with Mrs. Sacks. Oh yeah, no, not with Mrs. Sax. Okay, but I'm talking, I'm I want you to talk about Mrs. Sacks because that's obviously the successful one.
SPEAKER_01Well, that okay. I can't I can't speak on that because it's one of those things that like I've never had that problem with her.
SPEAKER_00Okay, that's what I want you to speak on. To be real. Like, you are somebody that's here. If we're talking about relationships, you're somebody 11 years, that's fucking insane. That's not normal, bro. Y'all fucking freaks. Yeah, that's weird. What like that's what freaks is crazy? Y'all weird, bro.
SPEAKER_01Bro, if I didn't love her, if I didn't love her, I was falling out of love with her. What's the point? I'm gonna I'm gonna be miserable, and me being miserable is gonna make her miserable. And if we're and if kids are involved, it's gonna make the kids miserable. So you know what I mean. What's the point of being there?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, pushing this forward is just kind of like trying to keep something alive, being a dead horse type of thing. Like trying to keep a thing alive if they're so if you feel like this enough to write down an advice column, an anonymous advice column for two idiots to fucking tell you something about I think it means more that you just did this.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Um cut that shit, bro. Like you're you're and you gotta imagine, imagine you are 10 years down the road, and y'all can't even be in the same room together. Y'all don't sleep in the same bed together, y'all don't like if there's a kid involved now, now your kid is feeling the animosity in the home. Now your kid sees, now your kids growing up to be like, my parents don't my parents don't even know what love is. You know what I mean? Like this, bro. Cut it. That price is way too high. Like, OT Genesis, this shit. Cut it.
SPEAKER_00To be dead ass, y'all had kids and shit. You said she's 25. I'm assuming you maybe a little older. I mean, even if you're younger, whatever, you guys are around the same age. I'm hoping, you know, but uh you have kids, her dad says the N-word all the time, saying that he knows more about black people or he knows black people more than you. When you are black, it's it's kind of strange, you know. I've been yeah, I I'm not saying uh that I've been in that situation because I don't know if you guys know, but I'm not black. But like, uh no, no, there was a I had I had I was dating this white girl, right? They can say Caucasian girl, you know. I'm just saying, there's this thing that comes with Caucasian families, you know. I was dating this white girl, and uh this was I can't remember how long ago this was. I this was when I was 20, yeah. It was 19 and 20, I'm 35 now, so do the math, right? And I was with her, and everything was cool with her, you know, everything was cool with her. And this is um there's like a family uh Thanksgiving type shit, right? I'm sitting out there, they're all smoking cigarettes. They're they're a little um I don't want to say the word trashy, but like it's not trashy. It's just they were just how I would be, you know, but I wouldn't expect my my family to be, like, you know, which was kind of nice. I was like, oh, I can smoke cigarettes, I can drink a drink, I could do whatever. But then they were like, oh, how do you feel about 9-11? Oh, like what do you what do you think about like they're they're they're dead ass. They'd be like, oh, what do you what do you feel about what's happening in Iraq right now? Or my bad, Iraq right now, or like they'd be like asking these questions, and I'm like being dead ass, I was like, I'm American, you know, like in my and my I'm American, I don't know this shit, dog.
SPEAKER_01Like I feel like you're supposed to be a fucking spokesperson for tourism. Like that's so wild.
SPEAKER_00But like they they would uh they would be uh straight away, and I know this is not the same thing, but it's like oh, somebody seeing who you are, and they start flexing towards you of like, oh, this, this, and that. You know what I mean? Your shit that you're explaining right now is completely different, but like having just ignorant motherfuckers just say shit, like I heard that shit, and me being like, especially with family, especially my girls' family, I'm gonna be passive as hell. So I don't know if you were passive as hell. Like, if I was a fucking crash out non-stop 24-7, I'm hoping that you fucking punched her dad in the fucking face for even acting like that. Now, me being honest with myself, no, I wouldn't do that, you know. And whatever situation that I was put in, I was like, okay, this is my girl's family. All I did was like, all right, let me go hang out in the trampoline with the kids that aren't racist. You know what I mean? Like, like that's what I did. That's literally what I did. I like laughing. I was like, oh yeah, I don't know. I was like, why the fuck you ask me about things that I don't know? That's a whole different story, but that's just I think that's more to say about what the situation is and more to say about like white people. Not all white people, but white people. I'm gonna be dead ass. I mean, I'm I'm not gonna try to like sugarcoat that, but like, not all white people, but white people, you know, is the ignorance and is all this, you know. It's it's a lot of that shit. You I know her dad was not fucking happy when she saw her when he saw her daughter walking with me. Like, you know what I mean? That wasn't that's not what that's how he wanted. This is MAGA ass dad, you know what I mean?
SPEAKER_01Um he pulled out a gun on me one time, like that was a lot, especially especially because I think everybody who's like a minority or not white has had kind of like an off experience with dating a white daughter, yeah what I mean. The the dad is always kind of like the hardest one to win over. The mom isn't like all the time I've dated, yeah.
SPEAKER_00I've dated a white girl, I've dated a white girl where her mom and dad both loved me. So that's that's what I'm saying. It's not all. But I've also dated a white girl where her dad was like on some like didn't live in a trailer, but looked like he wish he did. Like, you know what I mean? Some true trash ass motherfucker, like you get what I'm saying? Like that this motherfucker pulled out a gun on me, like the fat ass motherfucker put on, not knowing that I got one on me too. Like, you know, like but I'm I'm never gonna act like a certain way. You get what I'm saying? And you know, you know how like how much you have to hold your tongue, and like the person who's asking for this vice, I can't even imagine how much they had to hold their fucking tongue. Like of somebody else saying, quote, he probably knows, wait, wait, what would they say? Her Caucasian father said the N-word, yeah, and said he probably knows more black people than me. I'm black.
SPEAKER_01Like my whole family's black. How the fucking number black people. You know what I mean?
SPEAKER_00Like that's you know what's the most shit I've ever heard. That itself would be like, uh, I don't I mean, it really depends, and if they said that, hey, I think it'd really depend on what the girl would do.
SPEAKER_01I've said this a hundred times, bro. I've said this a hundred times, probably if if not more. Men are out numbered by women, like seven to one or some shit like that. You know what I mean? So, like, this might not be the one for you, bro. So you got six more, cuz like this is gonna be easy fix for you. Just go out, cut the cut the ties here, bro. Cause it sounds like Loki, I I don't I've been able to put up with a lot of stuff when it comes to relationships, you know, when it came to like in-laws and stuff like that, or like the girl that I was dating and her parents, or whatever the case is. But if this is one of those things like you can see a future with this person, then okay, maybe it's worth the fight. But like you said, you're already falling out of love, the dad's semi-racist, like you're you've kind of already blown through all of your nine lives when it comes to this.
SPEAKER_00You didn't say one ties, you didn't say one good thing about her, and I think that's what makes yeah, it's so clear.
SPEAKER_01You didn't say I'm I'm willing to deal with X, Y, and Z. You just like you pointed all the bad shit, and it's like, all right, cool. There was no bar. You're not looking for us to convince yourself, yeah. You're not looking for us to convince you, you're looking for yourself to convince yourself.
SPEAKER_00Talk to him, dead ass, because you never said one thing you said, but she's good to me, or but she does this. You only said bad things about, and I'm sure there might now I'll say this, it might be good things, but notice what you said first. That's what you said when no one was talking back to you. You sat there and you're lonesome and you wrote that out, and that's how you felt. Like, that's kind of fucked. That price is way too high. You need to cut it. Like, yeah, you need to cut it. Honestly, I'm gonna be so real, and I know it's easier for us to say because you're in a relationship. Cut that shit off, focus on yourself, be great. And thank you for uh no no no the door moved, bro. The door moved, it freaked me out, it went and I was like, what the fuck? I didn't think it was the win because nobody's here.
SPEAKER_01Um thank you for all the support, obviously. I know this is a comedy podcast, but we do appreciate it more than y'all will ever understand. You know what I mean? Obviously, we want to do the advice stuff more and make sure that that tries as well, but it's always gonna get better and better.
SPEAKER_00Like the stuff we already like talk about, there's things that you guys haven't heard today that we talked about, but there's just so many things that are like we have planned, yeah, that is so nice that's gonna make us different from others, but not even just different from others. It's gonna be us. It's gonna be more authentic, it's gonna be more us. It's not gonna be just two people beating their dicks on the ground and be like, oh, no, what they need to make mics more expensive because of podcasters. No, bro, we deserve these mics, okay? I'm uh I'm a and we over here trying to prove to you that we prove to you all trying to prove to you that we deserve these mics, and uh he's got a dick in his mouth, man. You know what? I'm gonna just shut the fuck up, bro. I don't got no nothing more to say anyway, bro. I don't I don't have a dick in my mouth.
SPEAKER_01Peace.