WTBN session 8 - Show & Tell

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Telling is when the author summarizes or uses exposition/description to simply tell the reader what is happening. Showing is about using description and action to help the reader experience the story.

 Example 1: 

TELLING: When they embraced, she could tell he had been smoking and was scared. 

 SHOWING: When she wrapped her arms around him, the sweet staleness of tobacco enveloped her, and he shivered. 

 Example 2: 

TELLING: Candice was anxious about how late she was.

 SHOWING: Candice’s eyes flashed to her phone. 9:33. She picked up her pace so it matched that of her heart, scampering down the hall. She had yet to climb two floors before reaching class. Again, her eyes flashed to the clock. 9:35. Couldn’t time slow down? Just for one morning!

 Example 3

TELLING: It was eerily quiet on the road until the sound of footsteps terrified me.

 SHOWING: Crunching hit my ears from behind, accelerating the already rampant pounding of my heart.

 4 RULES FOR DESCRIPTIONS

 1. Do not lead with exposition. 

This is a common mistake. Your first scene should definitely be one we can observe firsthand to get us quickly into the story ("the narrative hook"). Use dialogue, description, characters' thoughts: whatever will dramatize your opening.

 2. Match exposition to pace. 

The faster paced your story, the shorter your expository sections should be. An action story must be shown. We want to be there! If your tale relies on events piling up on each other at dizzying speed, keep up the speed by including only very short pieces of exposition, since exposition almost always slows a reader down. Conversely, if yours is a leisurely tale with many literary digressions, you can tell us much more.

 3. Try to alternate shown scenes with told exposition. 

If your reader has been given a rousing opening, he will usually then sit still for at least some exposition. But be sure to follow that chunk of telling with one or more dramatized scenes. That's much more effective than being given section after section of telling. Remember: The reader wants to feel present, a fly on the wall, for as much of the story as is feasible.

 4. Always show your climax. 

The climax is the place where the opposing forces in your story finally clash. This is true whether those opposing forces are two armies or two values inside a character's soul. The climax needs to be as vivid as you can make it, and that means dramatizing it with every narrative tool at your command: dialogue, action, description, thoughts, feelings. Put us right there.

Your Homework:

Turn either or all of these telling sentences into showing ones:

1. My mother was being overprotective.

2. Harry rushed out of the house in anger.

3. It was autumn and very cold outside