Raising a Son with Cerebral Palsy: How Faith and Mindset Lead to Success with Vincent Catanzaro

Never Been Promoted Podcast with Thomas Helfrich

Vincent Catanzaro, a father of six and co-founder of Renee Vincent Executive Placement, joins Thomas for a heartfelt discussion in honor of World Cerebral Palsy Day. Vince shares his deeply personal story of raising a son with cerebral palsy, the lessons learned from family, faith, and overcoming challenges, and how these experiences have shaped his life and business philosophy.

About Vince Catanzaro

Vince Catanzaro is a partner at Renee Vincent Executive Placement, a company he founded with his wife, specializing in retained executive search. With over four and a half years of experience in this field, Vince brings a unique perspective shaped by his personal journey as a father to a son with cerebral palsy. His story is one of resilience, faith, and finding strength through adversity. Vince's approach to life and business is grounded in his deep commitment to family, community, and a strong foundation of faith.

In this episode Thomas and Vince discuss:

• Raising a Child with Cerebral Palsy
  Vince opens up about his journey as a father to Victor, who was diagnosed with cerebral palsy after a premature birth. He shares the emotional rollercoaster of navigating Victor's early years, from medical challenges to the joys of seeing his son thrive.
• Faith in Times of Adversity
  Vince talks about how his faith was both challenged and strengthened through the experience of raising a child with special needs. He reflects on moments of anger and frustration but ultimately found peace in viewing his son as a gift rather than a challenge.
• Supporting the Cerebral Palsy Community
  As World Cerebral Palsy Day approaches, Vince emphasizes the importance of inclusion and community support for individuals with special needs. He shares personal anecdotes about the small acts of kindness that have made a big difference in his family’s life.
• Balancing Family and Business
  Vince discusses how his personal experiences have shaped his approach to business. From building resilience to handling challenges with grace, he explains how his journey with Victor has given him the confidence to tackle any business hurdle.
• Seeing the Gift in the Challenge
  Vince shares his evolving perspective on life’s challenges, shifting from viewing them as burdens to recognizing them as opportunities for growth and learning. He encourages listeners to embrace difficulties as gifts that can lead to deeper faith and understanding.

Key Takeaways:

• Cerebral Palsy Awareness and Inclusion Matter:
  Vince highlights the importance of creating spaces for individuals with cerebral palsy to be included in all aspects of life, from school to social settings, and how community engagement can make a significant impact.
• Faith Leads to Resilience:
  Vince emphasizes that faith, hope, and grace are essential tools for overcoming life’s challenges. He credits his strong faith as the foundation that has helped him navigate the complexities of raising a child with special needs.
• Business Lessons from Personal Challenges:
  Vince’s personal experiences have taught him that no business challenge compares to the difficulties he’s already overcome. His resilience and problem-solving skills in business are rooted in the life lessons he’s learned as a father.

“God doesn’t give you anything you can’t handle—but sometimes, it’s not about handling the challenge. It’s about seeing the gift in it.” — Vince Catanzaro

CONNECT WITH VINCE CATAN

Chapters

• 0:41 Entrepreneur's Journey With Cerebral Palsy
• 9:56 Journey Through Parenting Challenges
• 18:33 Unexpected Beauty in Life's Challenges
• 26:07 Challenges of Faith and Strength
• 29:53 Navigating Life's Challenges and Faith
• 43:09 Supporting Families With Special Needs
• 54:27 Inspiring Talk With Vince

Transcript

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Welcome to the Never Been Promoted podcast and YouTube channel. I'm on a mission to help you cut the tie to all the things that are holding you back so you can unleash your entrepreneurial. Welcome to Never Been Promoted here. We're going live today. We're gonna be bringing a little awareness to World Cerebral Palsy Day this Sunday, October 6th. And to join me today is Vincent Catanzaro. He is, a father of a son with cerebral palsy, and he is an entrepreneur. And he has found a great amount of success with, with all bunch of challenges in life and things like that, but also just from a great base of faith, family, and mindset. You know, I appreciate anyone who's joined today. And if you've been here before, you know, our mission is to help you get better in entrepreneurship, and it's and then it goes beyond, you know, just maybe, you know, we just talk about cutting ties to things. Sometimes it's not just marketing or it's not just sales. Sometimes it's kinda like things in your life that are a little more core, like your family, your, you know, your faith, the things how you look at problems or challenges, in your life or things that come along for the ride. So, you know, this is a has been a great conversation. Vince is a great guy, and and, you know, the last thing before we meet Vince is the one shameless plug I do do is ask you to go to youtube.com and, subscribe @neverbeenpromoted. But let's bring on Vince. Vince is coming back, Vince. A multi a multi participant on the Never Been a promoted show. Vince, how are you doing?
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Great. Well, that introduction was, so cool. The whole,
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introduction to the show. Right. If we you know, that marketing team is instantly relevant. I don't know if you guys who you use for your marketing out there, but I would use them. I mean, they're amazing. Completely not self serving statement at all. Abs absolutely.
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Yeah. That was great. Well, thank you for having me, and and, and let me have this opportunity to talk about, my journey, my family, and, kinda how it ties into, this Sunday is World Cerebral Palsy Day and was you know, thought were a good opportunity to have a conversation around a subject that people don't talk about much.
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Right. Well, and I think I think I mean, thanks for coming, by the way, too. And and you have a you have a incredibly story. I'm not gonna get all all the stories of your life for sure. I think, like, a lot of things, you don't have awareness and things until it's kinda in your life or near it. I wouldn't have known this without knowing you, for sure. So and cerebral palsy is is all over the place. I mean, there's it's not like it's a one and you know, one event out of nowhere. Like, it's it's all around. But unless you you know, you're aware of it and know what you can do or how to support or, how to make your life better if you're in that, you know, situation where you're, struggling with a family member or something like that, it you know, it's you just don't know. So we thought you and I were catching up last week. We're like, hey. Let's talk about this. Let's hear your story. But do you wanna just do a brief introduction of you, and just, you know, we'll get back we'll get into your story of journey a little bit of of of who you are. So Sure. Give us Vince Pinch.
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Yeah. So, Vincent Catanzaro. I'm a partner in Renee Vincent Executive Placement. My wife and I have a retained search executive placement business that we're four and a half years into. It's going very well. I, I'm a father of 6 children, and, I'm originally from New York City and have lived in Southeast United States, I think, for the majority of my life now, although I still relate as a New Yorker.
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Yeah. You're, we don't live too far from each other, and, I'm not from here either. But I will I will probably not be from Atlanta at any point. I I got down here, I don't know, 40 3 years old or so. Is that right? 40 no. I no. 39, 40? A while ago. And I just think it's too far along at this point. I think at this point I'm at this point, I'm from Saint Louis, but I live in Atlanta. I I could never you're pretty much from here now in Atlanta. Well, I don't know. I got here when I was
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22, 23.
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Oh, it's tough. It's tough. You're in the border. You're not very old. So, you've had a lot of success. Now, you know and I think setting up your journey a little bit here of you have 6 children, and and and and why why don't you just take over here? Talk about your journey and and specifically where, you know,
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just just set up your family and your dynamics a bit just so we can get an understanding of where I thought I would I would tell you. You mentioned something like like, you know, you don't really know about cerebral palsy until it kinda comes at you. And I I remember when I first heard it, I had no idea what it meant. And at that point, it was in my life. So, you know, my wife and I, we met, you know, while I was in college, and we got married right right after graduating and and have been together been married coming on our 32nd anniversary and together, you know, 37 years. And the so we were married, and Renee was expecting. And we there was you know, they do those early tests when you're having a baby, and and there was something wrong with, like, one of her levels of protein or something something was off. Right? And so they talked to us, and we went down to the gynecologist and had a meeting. And they're like, hey. This could be something, could be nothing. You know, could be a twin that was lost and absorbed by the other baby. You know, just kinda like letting us know. And and, you know, oddly, we never really had a conversation right about, whether we're gonna move forward with the pregnancy or not. But we had this weird phone call from the doctor's office, like, hey, if you're not gonna have the baby, you know, you need to decide that now because you get too far along. And, it was kind of shocking to us because we never really considered that, but, you know, decided that, no, of course, we're gonna move forward with this pregnancy. And we had some, you know, other warning signs that things were wrong, but we didn't know. Right? Because we were young. It's our first pregnancy, and that's supposed to feel good when you're pregnant. We were up in, Massachusetts, and we did the freedom walk. Well, yeah, we're yeah. Renee was probably, you know, in our late teen weeks of being pregnant, you know, 18, 19 weeks. And and she wasn't feeling good after that, but we just figured like, hey, you know, we did a bunch of walking today. You know, that probably makes sense. And then, then we did that, because it's Lamaze class. We like, we did the weekend version of Lamaze class and, and it was on a Saturday. And I guess at this point, Renee was 29 weeks pregnant. And, we had we came home on Saturday evening and we're like going to bed. And I was like, you know, I think you have a lot of signs of premature labor as they describe the symptoms of premature labor to to us. And she's like, yeah. I was thinking the same thing. Like, what do you think we should do? I was like, I think first thing Monday morning. Like, Monday morning, you gotta call your doctor, right, first thing. So, of course, Sunday morning, early, her water broke. 29 weeks. So we, you know, rushed to the hospital. I actually wasn't even home. I was actually, traveling for business, you know, of weird car. So I'm rushing to the hospital and meet her there. And, and they were able to hold off labor for, like, 19 years. Basically, I can labor for, like, 19 days. And, you know, when Victor was born and delivered, everything looked great. It's 32 weeks. It was pretty big for that digestive period, and his Aperture scores were really good, and it's, like, all good news. And, you know, they wished him away to the neonatal unit, and I ran out and I got a picture of him framed from, like, being first born so that I could bring that back to Renee and come back. And they're like, hey. Your son's had, I I brought a liquid. This is how you're supposed to avoid crying when you tell these stories. So I, I don't think we've had anyone ever cry on the show. So I may be the first. So the
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posted, like but I think that's real because you're you know, you just got news. You're first born
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Yeah. So I do hey. He's had a a pulmonary hemorrhage. There's been a a setback. You know? That goes to, you know, an hour later, he's not responding to the medicine. I guess they give, like, surfactant is what they give for the lungs for the pulmonary hemorrhage, and, yeah, he's not responding. You know? Next hour is, like, they bring us a document that's, like, 2 inches thick to use experimental medication to perform life saving procedures, and we're basically signing off, like, we're not suing anybody, whatever. And and they give him this experimental medication, which I think today, I forget what it's called, but I think today is, you know, part of the regular procedure of these type situations. And, and he, bounces back. Right? And for a few days, but then he has a second pulmonary hemorrhage. And then they, like, had to, like, basically, like, paralyze him and knock him out with this really invasive ventilator. And he he starts to come back from that. So it's like a 6 week journey of, you know, is he gonna die? Oh, you guys alienate too. Like, how was your I did not even know. It's like a blur. Right? And we and we named him Victor because he was victorious through that difficult time. Right? So the, so the so it's like this blur of 6 months of being in in the NICU unit, 6 weeks. I don't know if I had to say it. So so the, so finally, you know, he he comes home. And, but he's still struggling. He has, like, failure to thrive. And in in the hospital, they introduced, like, this yeast, digestive yeast infection in them. And so he's not he's not eating right. And and this goes on for months, and we're doing all these different things to to try to get him to eat. And and, you know, they're gonna do a a j tube, which is like a tube into his intestines to get nutrition in them because he's not taking nutrition. And his nutrition is like, hey. None of these things are working. Why don't you try give him him this, things called difluket, which is like what women take if they have a yeast infection. So we give him this difluket and boom, clears him right up, starts eating like a champ. Right? And I remember thinking, you know, here here it is, you know, 5 months into this journey, I'm finally gonna have a healthy baby. It's like weekly doctors, more than weekly doctors and visits. Right? This kind of finally, it's coming together. But at this point, we also had scheduled, like, a neurology appointment. And, you know, it's probably, like, a week after I'm thinking I finally have a healthy kid that we meet with this neurologist who throws out this term cerebral palsy that I, you know, I'm not familiar with, which is really kind of a catch all term of, brain injury. Right? And, so, so like in my son's case, he's missing, white matter, that kinda takes the electrical signal from your brain to your spinal cord to get your body to do the things it it wants to do. And so the, so that's when it first entered my life. And I just remember I remember talking to my mom at the time, and I was like, no. I have a whole new motto in life. Right? Which is like, no matter how hard you think it is today, just get ready because it's getting harder. Because it that's just what it seemed like, man. It was just like the hits just kept on coming. And it, you know, it it took a it took a while to, you know, to start to understand, get him into early intervention, kinda get that process going and, you know, fail you know, financially, this was devastating to us and, you know, special needs daycare organized, just like, I mean, our world was really turned upside down. And Were there a lot of, resources available to you to for these things to help ease that burden? Yes. Yes. There are a lot of resources, and there's an organization, in Atlanta called Focus, and it's kind of a a not for profit that ties into all the children's hospitals and provides resources and education and all sorts of all sorts of things like that. But it's not wasn't great. Like, so we were living at the time in Roswell, and, like, you know, Renee needed to get like, we needed to go into money making mode. Like, we were
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way underwater. And What what do you do there if you have a child that if you didn't have is not covered by this the reason I asked this is because the financial devastation, entrepreneurs are not. Like, I mean, it to me, that's insane that you have to know that you're gonna, like, oh my gosh. We have to go to money making mode. Like, when I say, like, resource, this isn't covered by insurance. Like, this like, what
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happened? I don't care. I had I had big company insurance, but, like, it ends it's just the incidental. It's just the it's the, you know, and Renee not being able to work and having this kid and, you know, it just it really it it really just turned our whole system way way upside down. And so so, you know, it was it was it was really hard. I mean, the first couple years, man, were really hard. And I was really, you know, I I guess from like a faith perspective, it was, I was pretty pissed at God. And I guess that's better than not believing, I would say. But I was like, you know, what did he do to deserve this? What do we do? Like, we did it right. You know, by, you know, we did the pregnancy right. Like, we we did things the right way. Right. We, you know, we didn't take foolish risk with the pregnancy. We didn't, you know, we didn't she didn't drink, doesn't smoke right there. It just, like, did anything she wasn't supposed to eat, like, the whole thing. Just like, why why why did this happen? And, it it took a long time. And I remember there was, you know, we were, attending an Episcopal church. And, you know, we had this old Irish priest at this church. I just remember one Sunday he said something along the lines of, hey, think about something that's been, on your mind that's been hurting you. And, and then we went into the the forgiveness of sins prayer. And, I should've ever think, and then I was so angry. I was so angry with doctors. I was so angry with myself. Right? Because I felt like, hey, man. Like, I'm dad. Right? This is this is my responsibility. We were at the hospital on Saturday taking a Lamaze class, and I'm sitting there thinking to myself, hey. Renee's got signs of premature labor. We were literally at the hospital. Like, why didn't I say something and just go check us into the hospital, write that? Like like like, what if I like, what if failure on my part? Like, what a yeah. Real Do you have trouble with that? No. I I don't. But the the the remembrance of the emotions behind it, like, it was I I was really hurting. It it was deep. Right? And and no one wants to feel like they fail, especially at being a husband and being a father. Right? And, you know, it's it was, I actually remember at that moment, I gave that away. You know, it it it took a it took a while to see. Right? Like, people will say stuff like, god doesn't give you things you can't handle. Right? Like, you you know, which really means that we can handle anything that's that we're facing here on planet Earth. Right? That's, you know, we we are designed to overcome. But but, you know, like, when you're when you're in it, like You don't see that. No. May may you're not seeing that kind of stuff. And and so the the the therapies, right, speech, vision, occupational, physical therapy, all that all those things that you go surgeries, man. Like, you know, the the man the and, you know, I'm not even sure if all the surgeries we did, we should have done or, you know, like, we we you're so engrossed in this in this community of, of doctors. And and, I mean, it was a long journey. And it took a while. It took a several years before we were, like, brave enough. I mentioned in top of the show, we have 6 children and to brave enough to to kinda go down the path of having another child, and and we did. And and we you know, 4 years after Victor, my daughter Juliet was born, and 2 years after Juliet, Isabelle was born, and 2 years after Isabelle, Sophia was born. And, you know, 5 years after Sophia, we adopted older twin girls from Russia. But with all those pregnancies of his sister of his sisters, those 3 pregnancies, they were all difficult pregnancies. They were all, you know, bed rest, surclosures, the, you know, you know, we it you know, for whatever reason, you know, pregnancies weren't easy for Renee and, and came with complications. And so it was quite a sacrifice to, you know, continue to have those children, physically on her. Right, to, you know, they basically are surcharges. They basically sew your, your cervix closed, right, to to prevent premature labor. So the, so, you know, it was it was a a a really tough journey. But somewhere along the line of going from this, like, really, really difficult situation to coming out the other side. There's, there's a, I think a woman that worked for Sesame Street wrote a poem called Holland. And it was, about, I think, children with autism is what it was really written about. And, but the but the gist of the poem, and it was very meaningful to me. The the gist of the poem was like, hey, you're a couple and you're planning the trip of your lifetime to Italy. And all your friends have been going to Italy and you always want to go to Italy and, you know, you're gonna go see the mic, you know, then go see David and Michelangelo's work and you're gonna go to Venice and you have this whole trip plan to go to Italy. And, you board the plane. And when you know this whole lifetime trip you saved up for when the plane lands to like, welcome to Holland. I mean, like, Holland, what am I doing in Holland? Isn't that where I want to be? Isn't that where I plan to go? But you find out that Holland's a beautiful place too. And it's got tulips and windmills and right. And there's always beauty in Holland. Right? This is not where you expected to go. And and that hits home because it's stuff like, hey, you know, I'm not gonna play catch with my kid. I'm not gonna teach my son how to throw a ball, how to run with a football or right? Do do do do these types of athletic things. I remember when he was very young and, thinking to myself, you know, I may never have a conversation with my son. Right? And and I know for for, many families, they have nonverbal children. Right? And and, it's difficult. And I remember thinking even when we're in, like, the special needs community thinking, oh, man. You know, Victor is the sickest of all these kids. He's got the most challenges of all these kids. And he is he's a spastic quadriplegic, which means that in his legs and arms, they're very tight and have a lot of spasticity in it. This trunk is very low tone, doesn't have seething balance. Right? Can't sit without support, can't eat without support. Can't, you know, bathe without support. Right? So but, the blessing is he certainly can talk and and communicate and share his needs and has no problem telling you, like, hey. I need to go to the bathroom or, you know, I'm hungry, and I want pizza, not a hamburger. Right? So ask you, when am I gonna get a job? Yeah. He he Yep. He's I'm I'm ready to work. Yeah. He's so he's fully socially that. I wanna get a job this summer. I guess so. You like So so now it's like he never like, you know, my my fear was I'll never speak to him, and now it's like, now he never stops talking. So the, so so, Karen, answer. Right? So the, but, you know, just kinda going through that and and starting to understand, okay, like this is a beautiful place that I'm at, and this is a beautiful life. And when you really start digging in to how the world works and how a human beings here on planet Earth work and and build some understanding and knowledge of wisdom in that, you you you learn certain things, like, you know, like like, kind of the story of Helen Keller, which she was able to accomplish. Right? You know, there's and you had to believe this, that probably there's probably people in your audience who may not necessarily be here from from a spiritual perspective. But, you know, if if you believe that we're spiritual beings, that there's a spirit living inside of us as I do. Right? You know, what I've learned is that Victor's spirit is full. Right? They're just as creative and powerful as mine or any other person's spirit. And through that spirit, he's able to live in his, his body. It's almost like an earth suit, almost like a car. Right? It's almost like his car doesn't get out of first gear. Right? And, you know, the transmission is broken, but it goes in 1st gear. And, you know, once you adapt to that and learn that and maintain the car best you can, just knowing that this is gonna first gear, you can still have a a beautiful existence. Right? And and so having, you know, although his his suit, his earth suit, right, his he has brain damage. Right? He's missing white matter in his brain. That's not something that, you know, we can surgically go in and add back. Right? That's just, you know, that's not fixing itself. The but, you know, he lives a full life, and we live a full life. And and we live a life of just like any other family, full of ups and downs, but a a life full of joy. And and, and and I think through this, right, you know, it somewhere transitions from god doesn't give you anything you can't handle to really that truly, God only gives you gifts. Right? If it's coming from God,
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it's it's a thing mindset. Right? And that's how you take those gifts. Yeah. I would say yeah. Would your was your, you know, was your faith challenged at times? You're like, I'm not sure I believe any of this. Like, did you have some days you're like, I am No. No. No. Telling the talent of my faith.
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Yeah. I I don't know if I had enough understanding. Right? I I think at at the core, I believed in God. Right? Because I was mad at God. Right? You know? So, you know, it wasn't like God doesn't exist. You know? This is whatever. Right? I but I really didn't have a great understanding of of faith still in on my faith journey. But certainly, you know, these last 10 years more understand more than I did. And and, you know, Victor's past turned 29. So he went through almost 20 years with me with very little understanding of faith. And so so the, but you start to realize, oh my god, he's a gift, and he's a gift to all of us. He's a gift to the family. And I think, you know, there's probably within my certainly, my wife has her her testimony when it comes to Victor, but I think all of his sisters also have a certain testimony because it it's led to different things in their lives and different understandings. I don't I can't speak for them. You know? I know that they all very deeply love Victor. But yeah. Certainly.
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Speak for your wife and not yours, but any wife. You want them let let them do their own speaking. Just good marital advice here. Let them don't speak Spanish. Speak on my behalf, and I'll just Right. If you if this is not a two way street, this is certainly a one way avenue for you. All men just just life lesson there. Let them speak for you. Don't speak for them. Okay? Exactly.
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So the yeah. So that's really, you know, when, you know, when I saw that, you know, and this is the first time I've ever really acknowledged world's cerebral palsy, baby. When I saw that there was a day acknowledging, you know, people all over the world with cerebral palsy. And and and they're you know, cerebral palsy could be like, if you ever see someone that has a unusual gait when they're walking or maybe one of their arms is kinda, you know, twisted like this a little bit and, you know, they hold it close one arm, they hold close to their body and that could be a form of of of cerebral palsy, which is kind of like, hey, there's a brain injury associated there. So, you know, it's there's millions and millions of people on on earth with, cerebral palsy, living lives out there. And, you know, I I think that going through that challenge and and coming coming through the challenge, right, has really positioned, you know, the family to just be much stronger, you know, maybe a little bit more grounded in faith, grounded in understanding, you know, you know, understanding that, that everyone's different. Yeah. All my all my kids have challenges. Right? And they they're all they're all challenging their own different ways. You know, but, like, if there was, like, a bell curve. Right? Like, you know, the the physiology, the physical. Right? Like, you know, Thomas, you'd be way up at the top of the bell curve. Right? But, like, you know, the rest of us, we all start fading out. And and then people with cerebral palsy. Right? They they they're the outliers. They're the where the line gets real thin on the outside of that bell curve and and, from a physical perspective. Right? But, you know, it's it's a it's a it's a difficult thing. Like, we talk about traveling. You know, traveling with Victor is hard. Right? You know, if we wanna go to Europe, we go to an older city, man, it's really difficult to
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to navigate. Get there and then navigate around there to get to any location and special transportation and, you know, hotels that may not accommodate that and
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wheelchair. And, like, yeah. I'm Yeah. The elevator is a lot of elevators are small in in Europe. Right? Like, you get into a lift and it's like, man, like, if I had Victor with me, he wouldn't even fit in this thing. Right? Right.
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Or only one of you fits. I'll see you in 12. See you later. Hang out.
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That's what it's
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going to be okay.
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Yeah.
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What a news. Okay. So translate this to how you've taken this into the rest of your life. So you've you know, you have a lifetime of just, you know, challenges. You've added more kids that, you know, we won't go down all the other things in life that's there. But how do you translate that into to work and business? Like, how do you how do you leverage your personal life's challenges, overcoming accomplishments, you know, the the faith that drives you? How does that come over to your your business life?
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I think really from the challenge perspective, it's like, you know, what what what challenge can I get from work that would be more complicated or more challenging than the challenge we've already worked through? Right? Like, the the ability to work through something like a special needs baby. Right? And and I think that gives you a level of confidence that, like, well, like, whatever is going on, like, we can figure it out. Right? You know? And, and I think that's really, you know, the the the I think early that was the confidence that came with it. Right? Like, you know, it was supposed to be when I was not an entrepreneur and I was working for someone, and I was thinking to myself, there's nothing that this company, this manager, this whatever could do to me that would ever be as challenging of what I know I can manage through. Right? Because I've managed through something much more difficult than having to find a new job or navigate a bad boss or or or whatever. Right? The, so I think that was kind of the the initial piece of it. I think as I've grown and and gained understanding is that what I've come to realize is that, you know, hope is hope leads to faith. Faith leads to grace. And that and that always works. Right? That doesn't, like, work sometimes. Like, you know, hope, love, hope, faith, grace. Right? That that chain, that connection there always works. And so I can, you know, I joke about it. Right? So we're in this, like, weird generation. Generation x is the generation of or generation z is the generation of how do you identify. Right? And and, so I partially joke that I identify as a Jedi. Right? That that's what I am. And, and the A Jedi.
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Him a Jedi. Right? Drowning on the dark side, would she be like like a Sith? She's princess Leia. I'm just seeing if I get her to jump on camera out of nowhere and punch you. That's all I'm looking for on that there right now. It doesn't
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Be
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but that hang. I'm jumping in there.
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Or maybe princess Vespa, if you know Spaceballs. The,
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oh. That's the magic. Druid princess?
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A drew yeah. A drew idea princess. Yes. Druid. Yeah. I would think The, but, you know, I I I joke about it as, you know, because the, right, the force would be, like the holy spirit and my lightsaber would be the word of God and and being connected. And and and, like, Jedis are confident and Jedis are connected and Jedis are fearless. Right? And and I try to live a life of being fearless, being connected to my source. Right? And and remembering that and not not taking the bait. Right? Like, I, and I still catch myself taking the bait. Like, don't don't take the bait on things that you shouldn't be taking the bait on. Right? Don't let don't let the devil troll you. Don't let, you know, thoughts get get in your way. I'll give you a perfect example. We were, you know, my, my father-in-law, just recently passed away. My mother-in-law passed away about 18 months ago. And, you know, we're, you know, getting older, and we're starting to think about retirement. And so we've gone to meet some financial planners and and and, you know, starting to talk about, you know, how do we retire? What's that gonna look like? Blah blah blah blah blah. Right? And and I and I meet with a bible coach. And so I was meeting with my bible coach, and I'm sharing this conversation with him. And he's like, well, what would be successful for you? Like, you know, like, you know, fair you know, what does that look like? And I was like, well, you know, we wanna be able to travel. We wanna be able to cover our bills. We wanna leave money for our kids. We wanna be and I laid out this level of what what I'm hoping retirement looks like. Right? And so after about an hour of me laying out the story and him just kinda quizzing me on it, you know, he's like, well, let me ask you a question. Like, if you had money in the stock market to give you a return yeah. Is that, you know, is that guaranteed? Do you know what that's gonna be there? I was like, well, no. It's like in this investment that you made in this business that, you know, is gonna give you a dividend. Is that is that a 100% guaranteed? Like, do you know it's gonna be there? And I was like, no. And Social Security, is that, you know, is that so is your Social Security guaranteed? Is that gonna be there? And I was like, well, no. And, you know, and so, you know, we kinda went down his path. He's like, you know, you never mentioned this in your success of gaining more wisdom in God's word. And I, you know, it's like, I I told it, and I've been studying, you know, faith for, you know, actively for 5 years, bible study 15 years and been a Christian, you know, my whole life. Right? And I felt like, oh my gosh. I totally took debate. Right? Like, I just totally got sucked in by these financial conversations. I started worrying about my finances. I started worrying about, like, how are we gonna do it and how are we gonna piece it together? And, and this was losing the fact that knowing that if I'm connected to God and I'm living in God's kingdom, I'm living as a representative in God's kingdom, all that's taken care of. And it's not like God doesn't know I need money to pay my mortgage and and and, you know, do things. Right? And they keep like, you know, I'm not saying don't give Vince a call for business because we're open for business. Right? But the, but really the truth of it is that that's that's secure. Right? I'm secure and confident. Right? If I'm really a Jedi and I'm confident. Right? I'm secured with that. And, and so, you know, I think that's where it's kinda grown to is that understanding, not that I can overcome the challenge. Right? You know,
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it I really wish You have to accept the challenge. Like, I think the idea to overcome something is the gift. Right? That's what I would say. Well, it was it's exactly. So I think as you described it, overcoming a challenge assumes it's in the past, and you can move forward. Yours isn't a continuous gift as you describe. Right? That you would most people outside of that lens would not look at it probably as a gift. Like, oh my gosh. That would be such a challenge. But you're looking at it in the lens of what a continuous gift I get to live.
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Right. And and just accepting that gift. Like like, I wish, god, my life would have been so much easier if I had the maturity and understanding back when I was 27 years old and Victor was showing up to say, what a gift I've just been given. What an opportunity I've just been given. Right? And and it it took it took a long time for me to to gain that understanding. I mean, if you have that wisdom at twenties, you would be it'd be like
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it'd be almost I think one of the coolest inventions we could ever give is just transferring wisdom between generations. As a race and humans, we would be so far along if that was possible. I know. It's crazy. 5 to 6 year old had the wisdom of 40 year old, They'd also be like, seriously, I'm never gonna use this geography thing or, you know, math thing in middle school ever. You'd have to accept it. Like, they're wise. Like, anyway, the point being is as a as a race of humans, as species, we would be so far advanced if wisdom was transferred in that knowledge.
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Yes.
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Yes. I feel like like the the kind of gains we'd make for humanity, like the wisdom you'd have at 7 80 year olds have, they can't get not, you know, they can't give it away. Right?
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And and it's anyway, so it's it's crazy. No. I I you're absolutely right. It's like, you know, if if everyone had self governance, right, like, if everyone had the wisdom to self govern, right, we wouldn't need machines of war. We wouldn't need, you know, as many police, as much jails as my shrine. Like, if people just self governed. Right? And, it has self governance. You know? That would make a huge difference in the planet. I I guess that's always just the the human struggle. Right? And I know a lot I know a lot of people don't believe. My brother is a nonbeliever. He thinks it's like ludicrous that I believe in God. And I was like, well, I don't know what to tell you, man. Like, you know yeah. I I see god everywhere. You you don't see him. Right? Like, you know,
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so I I don't know. Like, for people like that. I I well, here's a question I don't have an understanding on is, you know, you're a constant caretaker. You're there, everything. What happens when you, you know, you meet the maker? What happens when, you know, he's 30 years or what how long you got? I don't know. Whatever it is. Because, you know, I think you're 28. So, yeah, what is it? From the point at some point. So at some point, I'm not gonna be able to do it. Right? Yeah. So,
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I mean, there'll be options for him. Right? The there are options for him today. Many of his friends live in a place here locally that's called Champions Place where, you know, the kids he's grown up with, he played ball with, and those kind of things, he, you know, lived there, independent of their parents. They call it independent living, but, you know, it's really not independent living. You know, my my what I always tell people is, you know, the level of care that he's provided with with us is is this higher. Right? Like, you know, no one's gonna give him that level of care. Now, hopefully, his sisters, you know, and I think they will step up and, you know, and, you know, he'll have some support from the state. We'll, you know, we'll be leaving them something, so we'll have some support from us. And and the, but, yeah, you know, hopefully, God keeps me around in a long time. I wanna be 80 years old, still carrying him around and Well, he like, what what I guess from the you come back to financial support. Right? If,
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you know, he's an adult, whatever else. Right? But when you at some point, he'll have to financially take care. Are there is that is that I mean, is there something outside of what let's say you guys have nothing or whatever else. Like, right, what what is someone who so Paul's Hey. Miguel, they're on Social Security disability. Right? So he he gets a very small amount of disability right now. But would he afford to live with the champ like, what, like, what do they what do you do if you can't Yeah. Or There's people who don't do that. There are homes. Right? They're not you know, it's it's not a great situation for
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for all people who have disabilities who don't have family support. Right? Finding a situation for them Right. Is, is not easy. Right? And and and their society will absorb them. Right? And, hopefully, right, you're doing that in a way that's is great for them.
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Well, and that that leads me where where we're going with the the kind of awareness for world's, cerebral palsy day, the Sunday is. What is the you know, that day is to bring light to the, you know, to cerebral palsy itself, but it's also to help raise funds and money. Because this nothing goes on in the world without money. So you gotta raise money and and and donate and do things to help, I would think, on 2 sides, right, or three sides of it would be, cures, you know, things that preventative, if you will. Say it that way. But then there's the living part of helping families and, individuals who need this help. But then it's also when there's nothing left, like, when they're like, so because if if you are if if things happen to you, like, if you didn't have the financial support and he has this kind of secure, nice living life with you like, you know, he's living the full life as you describe, and all of a sudden, you're gone and there's no one there, the the shock to where he would probably end up would be devastating. And probably even worse, what people would do if he inherited your own state, the kind of money people would burn through. I don't know. Like, I think you know, I I don't know the situation, but I sound like there's, like, potentially for a lot of families out there, dire straits that await. Yeah. Well, a lot of challenges. I and I think, you know, how people can really help. Right? More than anything is people wanna be
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included. Victor always wanted to be included. I'll I'll give you a couple, of examples of, you know, challenges or things that we had, hurdles we had to overcome. So, like, when, like, an assignment I mean, your children may have gone through this here because I know we're in the same school district. As freshmen, there is this exercise of, you know, design a, like, a cigar box on the outside with what people see you as in the outside, and then put things on this inside the cigar box that are, like, inside of you. Like, what those differences may potentially be? And, I don't know if your kids had done that, but when Victor did it, when my my wife helped him do it, it was, it was super powerful. So on the cigar box on the outside, she just had a handicap sticker on it. You know, wheelchair sticker what the world sees. On the inside, you had his marine corps marathon medals, his, you know, little things he's gotten from playing baseball, you know, school awards, just family trip pictures. And right? And, and so, like, so the world would see him as this handicapped person, but, you know, really, he's living this, you know, really full life from the inside. But, like, like, in the schools, you know, and and I think around the world, right, most of these kids that are going to school are just going into regular classrooms because the school system is not set up to have special needs separate from from regular classrooms. And we were always believers of, like, hey. Keep him in regular classrooms. I mean, we don't we don't want him
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segregated. You don't mean to visit?
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Right. Well, like, we don't go to special needs restaurants when we go out to use the family. We don't go to special needs church when we go to church. Right? We go to church. We go to a restaurant. We go to, you know, whatever we're doing, we're just doing it in society. Why in the school system are you segregating and keeping him away from I mean, this happens in autism. This happens in Yeah. Quite a little spectrum. Right? And so and and not everyone not not all parents would take our approach. Right? So many parents think it's best You should have a choice. I I think what you're saying is you should have a choice to,
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allow for the same experiences if if possible and not also disruptive to everyone else's experience. Right? So, you know, I I think there's probably a balance between the 2. Like, because you wouldn't have any child allowed to be disruptive for any reason in a class where it ticks away from the other 30. At the same time, just because of some label or some kind of circumstances, you shouldn't be able to remove a child just because either. Just so
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you know? So I I it's accurate. Sure. That's a delicate debate that is heavily debated amongst families. And We had to and we had to arbitrate that. Right? Like, when Victor was going to school. Right? I was like, they wanted him to go to a different school. And I was like, well, I want him to go to school where his siblings go to school. Like, why would he go to a different school? He's at the same dinner table as those as his siblings. Why is he not going Driving the same car in the morning. Why is he not going to school with his siblings? And the, and so it was hard. Right? So, I mean, those are some of the different challenges you face, decisions you gotta make, and and, you know, what what are you gonna take up and fight, and where you're not gonna take up and fight. And and, you know, and, hopefully, unfortunate for us is that we stayed together. Many, many families don't stay together. Right? And then as another level of complexity to to that. Right? And, and often it's the it's the mom that's burdened with the special needs child while dad takes off. And, and, and so the, you know, fortunately, I have an intelligent, strong wife and and, you know, we were able to and we don't always agree on things. Right? Like, you know, I, you know, there are a lot of tech technology support around special needs, and the school was always trying to use these different tech things. And some of them were pretty cool. Like an example, my wife being right was she want the picture to have a power chair that he can drive himself. Victor is legally blind. I think, how's he gonna drive a power chair? But she's like, I think we can do it. He can do it. Sure enough. She was right. He could do it. Right? And so she got a power chair. He got switches, and he's able to drive around the the neighborhood and go visit and talk to people. And, I was like, just give him a new manual chair, but she was right about the power chair. But, like, you know, in many cases And, like, a good use case for autonomous driving too. A little help. A little assisted driving. Like, hey. You're about to hit a curb. Corrects you. Yeah. That is a great idea. The, and then the, that's probably not far away. Good point, Thomas. The, but I was always, like, a low tech person. Like, people are like, hey. Why don't you get lifts put in your house and, you tracks? And I thought it's it's just a hard day. I'm getting him in a lift. I can get him over my shoulder. Once I have him over my shoulder, I can pretty much take him anywhere. Right? So, like, it's just easy now. So crack out of back and you're like, oh, it's It's not me. It's not me. That's my goal. I do it till I'm 80. Like Jack Lane. You know?
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So, maybe as, you know, you know, there's nothing we're selling here. We're just having a conversation to give awareness to and and learning how you've applied it, and it's been some of the lessons you just like, outside of you know, you've had other challenges in life, It makes it easier maybe to say that you can apply the right thinking to a situation because you've challenged more. And and I think where a lot of people, I think, fall apart, and your marriages stay together somehow. Most half the marriages don't anyway, let alone with circumstances. I can't I'd have to guess the the marital rate in in circumstances where when a child has special needs is probably pretty high on a split. I I I would I bet. I don't know. Yeah. That has a level of pressure a lot of people aren't equipped to go do. But good for you on that. But how do people once again, how what's the best way for someone to
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help to to to with for for families, for the individuals. Family with special needs. I I think it's really just accepting. People are are so helpful. Like, we've had and we've paid this forward a bunch too, but especially when the family was young and would go out for dinner. Right? And an anonymous person would pick up her dinner. Right? Or or we would, and, you know, stuff like that. That was always a very nice surprise and acknowledgement. But I think it's really just being engaged in the community and taking the time to get to know whether it's, you know, no matter what the special need is. Right? The because the spirit is still inside of them. And I think if you can understand that there's a spirit inside of them, that they're they're reachable. And so the, so I, you know, certainly donate money to the United Cerebral Palsy, Association. Right? There's there's different ways to to donate and support, get involved. Right? Local special needs organizations in Greater Atlanta focuses a leader of, you know, you know, providing respite care and all sorts of other things for for folks. But, but I think that what ends up being most important is community. Right? And and engagement and getting to know these kids and and, I think Richard's an adult. He's turning 29 in a couple weeks, but he's he's still my kid. Right? So but you can't get into know these people, at a personal level. Right? And and don't be afraid of the of the, of the difference. And I I think that, you know, there's an example, local example. You may know this person, but there's a person at a major local retailer right here that's got a facial deformity, and he's worked there for a long time. And when you first see it, it's kinda shocking.
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I is that a at Home Depot?
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Yeah. Costco. Costco. Yeah. No. So I I see the guy's as nicest per human on the planet. Nice first. But he's worked here for a long time. Initially, like, you're hanging back. Very it's very unusual to look at. And and took me even knowing, right, it took me a while, they're comfortable, you know, looking them in the eyes and and engaging in conversation. And and it's just like, just don't be don't be taken back or afraid of the difference. Right? And just help them be included, whether that's work opportunities, whatever you can do. Like, this through this trial saying hello
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with eye contact. Hey. How are how's your day going? Good. Awesome. Like, I mean, sometimes because people avoid contact, eye contact. I assure you the person already knows you're looking and staring. They're used not may not used to it, but they're aware. And just being at least human, polite, in any situation is is it is, it's meaningful. I'd say it that way. I'd say it that way to to most people. At least my and I listen. I'm guilty of it as well where I'm like, you you pull back sometimes, but it's only because you're you're uncomfortable in your own skin around, but you don't know what to do. It's like ignorance, if you will, to how to behave. And here's the thing. Just behave like a normal human would behave. If you normally pull back from humans, then pull back from humans. If you're normally friendly with somebody, be friendly with Yeah. Just be be yourself. I you know, it's,
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I mean, I I you've you've gotten the opportunity to meet Victor a few times. I mean, he's this, you know, fully he is fully engaged. Right? We're going this weekend up to, tomorrow up to North Georgia to a fried pickle festival. We've never been to one before, but it's a fried pickle festival. Where is that? Oh, well, I'm gonna let's give a Definitely. Something about Dalton line. Dalton, Georgia. So I head up to Dalton to Dalton Fairgrounds tomorrow. So it's, 90 minutes away, but he loves fried pickles. And, I said, well, they have a festival around fried pickles. Go check it out. Right? So, we're gonna we're headed up there and go get that experience tomorrow.
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This has been thing this has been very, I always love talking to you. It's always fun. I feel like you should have a podcast. But you have one, but you've we'll talk about that later. You used to have one.
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It's a little bit different.
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I think you have a new topic I think you could take. It's it's it's it's it's it's your step to becoming a preacher. We all know you're going that route. We know you're at some point. I don't know. Game. It's happening. Not full monk, not full priest, but minister. It's happening.
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I can feel it. Is was it Reggie White, the minister of destruction?
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I don't remember. I don't know. Yeah. No. I have no idea.
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He would, he would he would sack the quarterback, and while he was on top of him, say, god bless you.
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God bless you for letting me tackle your face into the ground. It's great. Vince, thanks for joining today. I appreciate it. My pleasure. Thank you so much for having me, Thomas. I'll be right back. Guys, thank you so much for listening, bringing attention to, world cerebral palsy day, October 6th. You know, Vince is a a beautiful human, and and and and if you ever get him if you just wanna talk to somebody who who's got some stuff figured out around, life, family, business, I honestly, if you reach out to him, he'll he will will likely take your call and and talk to you because that's how he is. He's great. For everyone who's watching, you know, listening, thank you so much for joining today. It's, it's very nice to have Vince back on the show, and and I I really hope, you get something from the show and learn something how to deal with something in your life a little bit better, a little bit more, and the idea that it's a gift and not a challenge. But, you know, until we meet again, please get out there. Go unleash your entrepreneur. Go cut a tie to something you believe in that is holding you back. You know, create new ideas, new relationships, new ways of thinking. Thank you so much for listening.