“It Is Harder as You Get Older to Just Pick Up and Move” - Patrice Lynn on Courage, Change, and the Next Chapter

Cut The Tie Podcast with Patrice Lynn
What happens when you have spent decades trusting yourself, building skills, and creating your own path, and then you realize it is time to walk away again, even without a clear plan?

In this episode of Cut The Tie, Thomas Helfrich sits down with Patrice Lynn, a lifelong entrepreneur, trainer, and personal development expert who is leaving her State of California role after five years, pension secured, and stepping into a wide-open next chapter. Patrice shares why cutting the tie feels different as you get older, how fear shows up in more subtle ways, and why trusting yourself becomes even more important in your second or third act.

This conversation is about courage without chaos, adventure without recklessness, and choosing alignment over comfort when the stakes feel higher than they used to.

About Patrice Lynn:
Patrice Lynn is a lifelong entrepreneur, speaker, and coach with a career rooted in personal and professional development. She has designed and delivered training programs for organizations ranging from global corporations to independent teams, and she was selected as one of the first independent consultants to teach The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People shortly after the book’s release. Patrice is the author of Rise to Success: The Secret Power of Your Brain to Change Your Life, where she teaches practical tools for rewiring mindset, overcoming fear, and creating meaningful change.

In this episode, Thomas and Patrice discuss:

Why cutting the tie feels harder with age
Patrice explains how responsibility, comfort, and identity make change more complex later in life, even for someone who has always taken risks.

Leaving the “safe” job on your own terms
She shares why she chose to stay long enough to earn a pension and why walking away now feels both terrifying and freeing.

The moments that quietly shape your path
From discovering The Power of Positive Thinking in a small-town Texas library to being invited to teach Stephen Covey’s work, Patrice reflects on pivotal moments that changed everything.

Why community matters more than success
She looks back on owning a bar and restaurant in Montana as one of the happiest seasons of her life and explains why connection often disappears as careers advance.

Key Takeaways:
Change does not get easier with age, but it gets clearer
You know yourself better now. Trust that experience.

Security and freedom do not have to be opposites
Sometimes staying is strategic, and leaving is the real win.

You do not need a perfect plan to move forward
Momentum creates clarity, not the other way around.

Gratitude quiets fear
Focusing on what is already working creates the emotional space to build what comes next.

Connect with Patrice Lynn:
💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/patricelynn/
🌐 Website: https://patricelynn.com

Connect with Thomas Helfrich:
🐦 Twitter: https://twitter.com/thelfrich
💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thelfrich/
🌐 Website: https://www.cutthetie.com
📧 Email: t@instantlyrelevant.com
🚀 Instantly Relevant:

Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome And Patrice’s Leap
• 1:45 Leaving Government For Freedom
• 4:30 Origins In Personal Development
• 8:40 Marble Falls And A Mindset Shift
• 14:20 Launching A Seminar Career
• 19:45 Revisiting Pivotal Places
• 24:50 Hitchhiking, Big Sur, And Boldness

Transcript

SPEAKER_01: 0:00

Welcome to the Cut the Tie Podcast. Hello, I'm your host, Thomas Helfrick, and I'm on a mission to help you cut the tie to whatever it is holding you back from your success, the one that you defined, not somebody else. And today I am joined by Patrice Lynn. Patrice, how are you?

SPEAKER_00: 0:14

I'm doing great. And I love the theme of your podcast, Cut the Tie, because actually I have been an entrepreneur all my life. I've had a lot of contracts that I've done for because my whole thing has been training, coaching, and designing training. That's what I've done my whole life. And um, so sometimes I get big contracts with, you know, companies like, you know, AMWA or, you know, Cooper's and Librant, different, you know, things like that. Uh, but most of the time I've been entrepreneur, just teaching seminars and doing coaching. I've done a lot of coaching. But I recently took a job at the state of California where I've been helping run the leadership academy. So I've been there five years and I'm so excited to leave. I had to, if I if I stayed five years, I actually got a pension, believe it or not. It's not very big, but you know, it's a pension. They're gonna pay me the rest of my life for working there five years. And my neck my last day is next week. So this is very appropriate. I'm so happy and ready to cut the tie.

SPEAKER_01: 1:28

Oh, congratulations for that. Uh in your coach, so so you currently have a coaching business going, or are you gonna go back to it?

SPEAKER_00: 1:36

I'm gonna go back to it. I have I I did do some of it while I was working at the state, but in in the last year or two, I haven't really done that much.

SPEAKER_01: 1:47

And listen, I and what I love to have on the show are people wherever they are in their journey, where you've been an entrepreneur whole life, um, it sounds like you had an entrepreneur mindset in what you were doing next. Up and there's there's all kinds of reasons that people to be clear, like I love entrepreneurship. Someone offers me the right W-2 job, I know how to make this thing a side hustle if I had to and collect money because it's to me, it's just another client. That's how I would look at it. I would not have the mindset that I'm here forever. It's a one-year, two-year, maybe longer client, and it pays well and it requires a lot of my time. But every job on the planet I know does not require all of my time. 100%.

unknown: 2:21

That's right.

SPEAKER_01: 2:22

There'd be plenty of room for me to do other things. That's a great mindset to have. Anyone listening working, build your own business. But talk to me about why people are going to pick you on your new coaching business.

SPEAKER_00: 2:33

Well, I haven't totally decided yet that that's what I'm gonna do. I I really haven't. So I'm I'm at a definitely a crossroads of what am I gonna do next? I mean, I have a lot of thoughts of, you know, moving somewhere exotic or somewhere like Europe and living somewhere where, you know, I don't have to really think much about money. So I haven't really, I haven't really got clarity because yeah, I'm leaving my job. I'm moving out of the house that I've been living in, and uh I don't even know what's gonna happen next. But the fun thing is, I've been this year, I've been revisiting some things that were really significant for me. So uh I started my whole career in personal and professional development. It was kind of a fluke because I graduated from college, and um, the last thing on my mind was to get the government job that my dad wanted me to have. But I I'm so glad that I finally squeezed in five years at the government because my dad was up there. Thank you, thank you for doing that. But I ended up uh going on an adventure with some people I met to sell timeshare of all things in Marlboro Falls, Texas. And while there, the this you know, kind of pseudo-relationship that I had with the guy that I went with kind of fell apart. And I ended up uh moving into a condo next to the condo that all of us had been living in. And I was at this like, like, oh, what am I, what am I doing? This is so sad. I was so upset that everything was like, this isn't working out. So I actually had taken my bike. I started riding my bike when I was six years old and I never stopped. So I still ride my bike everywhere. And I rode my bike into Marble Falls, Texas, and I went to the library, and literally this book jumped off the shelf, The Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale. And I read that book, and it it was a life-changing experience because he said, you know, your thoughts are your own, and it doesn't matter what situation you're in, it's how you think, it's your mindset, it's how you deal with it, is going to get you success. And it was the first time I'd ever heard anything like that. And recently I thought how interesting it was that that was at a certain point in my life, and then 10 years later, I launched my business teaching seminars and doing consulting, coaching, and personal and professional development. But that was a pivotal time. And I actually went back there in February of this year because I have a niece that lives in Austin. And so I went back there and I went, I tried to get my niece and her husband and my sister to go to this town, Marble Falls. I kind of explained it, but they they just weren't interested. So I ended up renting a car and going myself and seeing the condo, seeing the place I was at. And actually, I ended up leaving the timeshare thing because even though they thought I was going to be good at it, I was terrible. And I got a job as a cocktail waitress at this resort on the lake. Now that I was really good at because I've done that my whole life. And so I went to the restaurant where I was a cocktail waitress, and and now it's just this fabulous resort. And it was just so fun to, you know, retrace my steps and go back and experience that time in my life, which was pivotal and it it set me on the path. And, you know, when I decided to start my own business, I was living in Bozeman, Montana. And I um I took a whole month to think about well, what is it I love to do? What am I naturally good at? You know, how can I serve people? How can I help people? And when it was all when the month was said and done, and I read a bunch of books and I did a bunch of things like, you know, activities that were in different books that I was reading. And I came out the other end and I decided I was gonna start my own seminar business. And I started with time management and office organization, and nobody in Bozeman Maxianos at that time was doing anything like that. And the people that knew me were like, oh, you're gonna be so great at this. And and they thought it was a wonderful idea. And then the people that didn't know me were like, you're gonna do what? That's that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. But it, you know, it worked out. It worked out, and and the crazy thing was within a year or a year and a half, I was invited to be one of the first five independent consultants to teach the seven habits of highly effective people. It was right when the book had just come out, and I got to meet Stephen Cummy, and I got to do that. And so that really launched me into a really unique part of my career. So it's been it was fun, you know, this year. And then and then recently I and this all ties into cutting the tie, right? Because I know I didn't know what I was gonna do when I went to Texas from Montana and to go do this thing, and then it fell apart, but then I read this book and I started doing what I was good at, and you know, it was a great experience. And so recently I did another tracing back in time, and what I did is well, Memorial Day, I took my first trip up to the coast of California, uh, where there's a park, a national park called Redwood National Park. And I went on a trip with these 50 people at this group called OTP, Ocean to Peak Adventures. And it was so much fun because they organized it and we camped out. We all camped out in a big meadow, 50 of us, and we uh went to the ocean and we saw the whales, and then we went to the redwood forest and saw the huge redwood trees, and we saw elk, and I mean it was just fantastic. And so when I was up there, I started thinking about that when I when I first moved out to Montana to go to college. I grew up in Ohio and I moved to Montana, and I I started looking at the map, and I was like, oh, I'm so much closer to California. I've never been to California, but I've heard so much about it because you know, from Ohio, you're a long way from California. So I didn't have a car though. I was going to college, my parents were putting me through school, and I'm like, well, I think I'll just hitchhike to California. And so I did. What?

SPEAKER_01: 9:37

Oh my word.

SPEAKER_00: 9:40

I know.

SPEAKER_01: 9:41

Kids, if you're listening to this, not recommended from the share.

SPEAKER_00: 9:44

Not today, no. This was a long time ago.

SPEAKER_01: 9:47

I mean, that's what the best serial killer's role I was back then, too. Keep in mind, it was probably not a good idea then. You just didn't have one.

SPEAKER_00: 9:54

I've always been courageous, I've always been, you know, had no fear, and I just go through life that way, and it, you know, it's worked out. Adventure has always been my number one value, not money, not stability, having adventure. And I've had a lot of adventures. So there was a segment of this hitchhiking journey that uh between San Luis Obispo and San Francisco on the coast, and this guy picked me up, and then there were two kids. I say kids, I was young, but they were younger, and uh I was 19 and they were like 15 and 16, and they were at their skateboards, and they he picked them up, and the three of us decided we wanted to camp out together, but we didn't have anybody to camp or you know, get into a park or pay for camping. So somehow we made our way to this place, big Sir, Julia Pfeiffer, Big Sir State Park. Oh, there you go, big sir. It's so awesome there. Have you been to that park? Oops, sir, muted. You're okay.

SPEAKER_01: 11:07

I got drinking. We just got back, we were just out there, so I have my hat.

SPEAKER_00: 11:12

Did you go to the Julia Pfeiffer's big sur state park?

SPEAKER_01: 11:15

We we went to a bunch of state parks, walking on beaches and trails, and I don't know, we went a lot of places. It's funny to have that hat right here as you said that.

SPEAKER_00: 11:23

That is so cool. I love it. It's beautiful there, and so the this is the funny part of the story is the three of us, you know, we decided we're gonna go on adventure, and uh, but we didn't have any money really. And so we ended up finding a redwood tree in this park. So and and the and we ended up sleeping out. It was like a burnt-out redwood tree, but it had a door and it had a window, and it had enough room on the bottom of it for the three of us to put out our sleepy bags and sleep in the tree. So that's what we did. So when I was up at the Redwood Park Memorial Day and seeing all these trees, I started remembering that experience. And I'm like, I need to go out there because I may leave California. I don't know what I'm doing. I may go out there and um find that tree. And so two weeks ago, I went to the coast and I actually found the tree that we slept it and the the Julia Pfeiffer Big Surf state park.

SPEAKER_01: 12:29

Did you take the no? I don't know if you're still in contact with that group, but no, no, I never saw those people again. That day, and they were like, I wonder where she is. I always wanted to ask her out or something. Who knows? All right. Well, let me ask, let me let me come to so you're happy. You're an adventurer type, you're about to go on a new adventure. Yeah, slightly different show than normal. So let me let me ask you this question that's what tie metaphorically today are you struggling to cut about your new adventure that's unknown about to begin? What what what's the one thing holding you back right now?

SPEAKER_00: 13:03

Well, it is a little harder as you get older to just move, you know, pick up and move. And so I have I live in this really cool house and I really like it, but you know, I just I'm ready for a change. And um so cutting the tie actually is so important. I mean, leaving the job, leaving the house, not knowing where I'm going. And that's why I told you these stories from my past, because in those moments I didn't know where I was going or what I was doing next. But I just I just trusted it would work out. I just believed it would work out, and it did. And I had a lot of cool adventures as a result of it, yeah. Yeah. So I guess just only because I'm getting older is it harder, you know, but it shouldn't be. I'm trying to, I'm trying to recapture that mindset from when I was, you know, a teenager and had all these other, you know, or early 20s and had these experiences where I just took a risk, took a leap, and launched in, you know. And of course, I have more resources now than I did before. So, but it's still, you know, that's the only thing, is just that little bit of a fear of like, okay, where what am I gonna do? Where am I gonna go? But I don't know. I can handle it.

SPEAKER_01: 14:41

It's you're you're gonna you're gonna find it, find it out. Now, in your time, you know, in your adventures, have you read a book that you think it's helpful for people that want to take adventure and kind of take a risk on themselves?

SPEAKER_00: 14:53

Well, I wrote a book called Rise to Success, The Secret Power of Your Brain to Change Your Life. And in this book, I tell a lot of my stories, like I'm telling you now. And I talk about how, you know, RISE is an acronym. It stands for repetition, images, sound, and emotion. And so when you repeat what you want to create over and over and over, it programs your brain at a subconscious level. This is what I want to happen. And then the I is for images, so you have to imagine it, you have to see it happening, and most importantly, feel what it would feel like to have it happen. And then the S is for sound, so you have to speak it out. So as I talk about this next chapter of my life, and my friends around me are freaking out for me, I'm like, it's good, I can do it, it's gonna be fine, it's gonna be an adventure. And then E is for emotion, and the best emotion to grab a hold of when you want to make a change in your life is gratitude. Um, so being grateful for what you do have, and I just have I have so much to be grateful for, and that's really gonna help me a lot. So the brain is very powerful, and fear is the biggest thing we need to overcome. And I, you know, by doing these things that I outline in my book, that's really how you overcome the fear, you overcome the thoughts that it's not gonna work out, you overcome thinking about what you don't want to have happen, and you think about what you do want to have happen. So there's that's what I like to do. I like to do that. And I I really think I'd really like to do get into speaking more. I mean, when I when I was young and I started my business doing personal professional development, and I found out that not many people like to stand in front of an audience and talk. I was like, oh, I love doing that. You know, when I was in junior high and I was in church, the youth that it was youth Sunday, they're like, okay, who wants to give the sermon? And I was like, I will. And all my friends are like, What? You're gonna give the sermon.

SPEAKER_01: 17:22

Excuse me. Uh what?

SPEAKER_00: 17:23

Yeah, and I like, I'm like, oh yeah, I could do it. I've just always had that confidence and that ability to speak extemporaneously and say, hopefully, say something meaningful.

SPEAKER_01: 17:36

I know you've already told me this is like different than what your normal I'd love to hear the story of it because you know you're you're sorting through what's next and drawing upon what you why you're chasing it from the from your and and um it's kind of like uh you know, you can never I I remember playing in the rocks with like little GI Joes and stuff, and it's like I just know I'll never have that back. Like your brain's just not wired to be in that moment as a child. And uh sometimes I wonder as a teenager the free spirit you have in your early 20s, does that actually ever return, or is it just you faking it to find the best version of what so my point is that I I I can feel your struggle as if somebody's 49 and becoming like I wish I could get some of those things back, but I don't know if I'm just wired that way to do that anymore. Um that's a struggle because it's like oh it's fleeting, it's I mean it's fleeted, it's gone. It's it's fast tense, and and it's set to next, and but the sense of adventure doesn't change it in its discovery of something new. Do you feel like there's drivers behind that? Uh, I mean, you I this is uh I might be opening a door to a very deep holes here when I ask this question, but um, are there drivers behind that that make you feel compelled to go do adventure?

SPEAKER_00: 18:55

Um I think in some ways I am, yes. I mean, I I love to ski, and skiing is just such an adventurous sport. And I don't know, I just feel so alive, you know, flying down the mountain on my skis. And like I live in Sacramento, so I go up to Lake Tahoe and Heavenly, and it was always on my bucket list to ski at Heavenly and look down on Lake Tahoe. And I'm here to tell you, it's everything the marketing materials built it up to be. It's just spectacular. So, yeah, I think I'm wired for adventure and and to be out in nature. And I I also think that I want to have more community in my life. And um I look back on my life also, and I see that the happiest time in my life was when I owned a bar and restaurant in Montana. I was married at the time. It was called the Grizzly Bar. And we had we had Yellowstone tours because we were like. 30 miles from Yellowstone Park. We had hunters, fishermen, cattle ranchers. We had all these like wealthy people that owned homes around us and ranches, and they would come in. And so we had this most eclectic mix of people that would show up in our bar. And my husband and I did everything. You know, like I worked during the day. You know, people would come in, I'd take their order, then I'd go back and cook their burger and then I'd serve it and make their drinks. And then people came in for gas, and I had to run over to the gas pump and turn it on. I had a resold beer and I used to go, and we were literally in the middle of nowhere. I mean, it was like my friends, you know, that first Raiders of Lost Art movie where opening scene is in a bar with this woman at this bar, and they're they're like, that's what we think of, and we think of you in Montana. I'm like, well, it's not far off. So I really want to develop more community. I really want to be part of a community. I think what happens in the United States, we we go along, and the more successful you are, then the more you want to, you know, have a house and all these things, and you're not necessarily connected with people.

SPEAKER_01: 21:15

Yeah, you become very lonely. You become you you find your own little prison.

SPEAKER_00: 21:19

Yeah, exactly. So I think that's part of what happens when you go on adventures. Like I did go on one while I was writing my book. I moved out of this place. I was living in Boulder, Colorado, and I had a band, and I just took off and I went to Sedona, I went to south uh western Colorado, and I I would help people out and live in their like you know, guest house, or I was in Sedona. I ended up, I stayed there several months and I rented a room from one person in their house, and then I rented an office in another person's house, and it was like so inexpensive, but I had a place to sleep and shower and eat, and then I had the uh other place where I would had my computer and I was writing my book, and it was you know, it's like it's amazing what you can do, but then I was much more in the community and connected to people, so I really want to create that and you know, more of that in my life. And then when it comes to coaching, I really I had a coach say, You're a high performance coach. That's what you are. And I was like, What's a high performance coach? And I looked it up and I found that it's somebody that helps people bring clarity into their life, that helps them bring courage. I'm like, oh, I'm current courageous, energy. I have energy, and I've always had energy my whole life, but that that's like another story. Um, you know, drive, influence. How do you influence other people and have you know a vision? So I was like, oh, that is kind of cool.

SPEAKER_01: 23:06

I will I'll throw a curve at you. I'm I'm listening here. What would she be really good at? I will tell you that you should take your travels, your adventure, and this will help your business too, and document it with incredible deep your writer, so you can do the whole vlog blog idea. Do a podcast, YouTube channel with it of your days, findings that could be your short, just becomes routine. If this is what I did, I saw you close your day editing it, you post it, you write it, maybe it's a week long, whatever you whatever your comfort level is. Yeah, you just you document what it is to be a 30-year-old traveling the world.

SPEAKER_00: 23:44

30 years old.

SPEAKER_01: 23:46

I love you. Thomas, right? Something I want to make it too young. Share it because I uh uh and I'm you you can share your age if you want to, but it only because I think it's relevant. There are a lot of women, there's like you know, uh women travel alone. Like my wife, my wife reads my wife reads these. Um, but like where she has a lot of information about women traveling, and there's a lot of groups that are out there. And if if you haven't heard of that one, I can find it and I'll send it to you later.

SPEAKER_00: 24:08

Okay, good.

SPEAKER_01: 24:09

And that would be a very beneficial thing, and specifically that you know, there's a business to be made from doing what you love, and it takes time with affiliate ads or this, or you find local restaurants. Like, I love the feature you hear, and you just you you can do things with a podcast, interview people, and just I do this, I travel. People would love that. You'd feel a sense of community, you'd be building a network um of some acquaintances, some people would probably develop further. Yeah, but my guess is you're okay with that kind of acquaintance. I haven't seen you in six months. Love to catch up with you. Type of there's a lot of group that love that. That's uh I I I'm like that. I'm I'm I'm trying to develop more friendships deeper. So I know how you feel with that, but I know how much fun that is to have a group that you feel connected to loosely, and they feel the same way. And for those who don't understand it, that you we feel almost as connected, probably deeper than some people you're with all the time, because that gets weird for us. Oh uh, but anyway, that that's an idea of what to do next is just go live the life would like to know how to do it. That's your call to action. Like, if you'd like to know how I'm doing this and want to do it too, I I coach you through it, and that could become a very inexpensive support group thing, a hundred bucks a month kind of thing, but people join in and who knows. I put as there's a business to be made doing exactly what you do in love. Go get your airstream and have fun with it.

SPEAKER_00: 25:26

I love it, I love it.

SPEAKER_01: 25:28

Like, like at this point, like you've done all the stuff there to do it. Now it's just about monetizing it. But we could we can take that offline. That's what I do.

SPEAKER_00: 25:34

I help people monetize, yeah. And you know, I did do a video the day that I moved uh from Sedona to California. I did a video on the backside of Yosemite with uh the Mammoth Mountain range or the eastern Sierras. And I actually posted it and somebody contacted me and said, Oh, if you do a lot more videos like this, we'll, I don't know, we'll something we'll pay you or something or other. I don't know. And I was like, oh, that's interesting. But it was just like really spontaneous with the mountains in the background, and I was talking about John Muir and the mountains are calling. I must go. So I think you're on to something. And I I've never really figured out, like I have a YouTube channel. Uh, I used to do some Facebook Live videos when I was marketing certain things, but I just haven't really done it. And um, I was just listening to Gary Bienachek yesterday say how you guys, you gotta get with it on putting yourself out on social. He said, This is like the most crazy time that we're in, that people will find you and they will, if they like you, trust you, want to work with you, whatever you're promoting. That's my thing, though. I gotta figure out what do I want to promote.

SPEAKER_01: 26:58

Well, we're gonna make sure that you get past 126 subscribers and 70 videos, and you should go knock that out in a week.

SPEAKER_00: 27:04

Because that's what I have now.

SPEAKER_01: 27:05

I mean, you you can you can go uh you could go live on Roblox with the latest update and just play it and probably 200 subscribers from children instantly. But anyway, um it's not your audience. I will I will leave it. We'll take it offline. It's kind of this is this isn't this becomes my uh my fun zone. Uh Patrice, thank you so much for coming on. Once again, do you want do you wanna you uh just tell people like how to get your book? I think it's probably your best call to action right now, unless you have something else.

SPEAKER_00: 27:27

But like uh Yeah, my book is on Amazon, Rise to Success, and uh under my name Patrice Lynn, but I haven't done a whole lot to market my book either. So you have to put the title and my name in order for it to come up. So yeah, I'm really good at certain things, but marketing has not been one of them. So um, yeah, I appreciate that. I would love that. It's on and then my website too, patrice Lynn.com. Um there's there's some things on there.

SPEAKER_01: 28:03

Thank you for coming on there.

SPEAKER_00: 28:04

Three thinks actually. The the journal page to my book is on there that you can uh download.

SPEAKER_01: 28:13

Wonderful. Thank you, by the way, for coming on here on fun Corey. I appreciate it. And listen to anybody who made it this so far in the show, you rock for getting here. If this is the first time you've been here, I hope it is the first of many. Get out there, go cut the tie to whatever's holding you back, and let nothing stop you from achieving the success you've defined for yourself.