Rotary Community Heroes of Hope
Introducing "Rotary Community Heroes of Hope" - a podcast dedicated to showcasing the profound impact of Rotary in District 5330 and beyond. Join us as we explore the remarkable stories of rotary heroes and initiatives that are transforming communities and creating hope around the world.
Rotary Community Heroes of Hope
Forged by Fire: How Trauma Shapes Purpose
Transformation often begins when we feel safe enough to be real. In this powerful conversation with U.S. Marine and motivational speaker Max Dutton, we explore how creating environments where young people can drop their masks leads to profound personal growth and connection.
Max takes us behind the scenes of the Rotary Youth Leadership Awards (RYLA) camp, where 450 high school juniors experience a life-changing weekend of vulnerability and authentic connection. "We live in this world where it's just not okay to be yourself," Max explains, describing how teens constantly perform for social validation. But within the safe container of RYLA, something remarkable happens—participants realize they're not alone in their struggles, that "we're not that different," breaking down walls of isolation that many young people build around themselves.
What makes Max's message so compelling is the raw authenticity of his own journey. Born into a home ravaged by addiction and domestic violence, he made deliberate choices different from his sister despite sharing the same traumatic childhood. "One degree of change," he emphasizes, can completely alter your life's trajectory. His central message resonates deeply with both teens and adults alike: "You are in control—your environment does not define you unless you allow it to." This philosophy of personal agency has guided Max from comforting his severely abused mother as a seven-year-old child to finding profound purpose as a speaker who helps others navigate their own darkness.
Whether you work with youth, have overcome trauma, or simply want to live with greater purpose, Max's insights will inspire you to embrace your authentic self while helping others do the same. Subscribe to Community Heroes of Hope to hear more stories of remarkable individuals creating positive change in our communities.
Hello and welcome to the Community. Heroes of Hope, a podcast where we shine a light on the remarkable individuals and projects in Rotary District 5330 that bring hope and change to our local and global communities. I am Judy Zelfikar, your co-host and the current District Governor of Rotary District 5330.
Speaker 2:And I'm Niren McLean, the Rotary District Governor-Elect, and I'm Niren McLean, the Rotary District Governor-Elect. Together, we're diving deep into the heart of the community service, showcasing the impact of dedication and collaboration in addressing some of the most pressing challenges our communities face.
Speaker 1:Each episode, we'll tell stories of incredible people making a difference, innovating solutions and inspiring others to take action.
Speaker 2:We'll also be giving you a behind-the-scenes look at the projects that are transforming their lives, and we'll discuss how you, too, can get involved, contribute and be part of the positive change. Whether you're a seasoned Rotarian or just looking to give back, this podcast is for you.
Speaker 1:So join us as we explore the journeys, challenges and successes of people like you who have stepped up to make a difference. Let's celebrate the spirit of community and the power of hope together.
Speaker 2:Don't forget to subscribe to the Community Heroes of Hope on your favorite podcast platform. Stay with us on this journey of inspiration and let's spread the message of hope further than ever.
Speaker 1:Thank you for tuning in. Let's get started. Niren, we have a very special guest with us today. You met him up at Ryla when you were up in Ryla in April, right?
Speaker 2:Absolutely and very, very exciting, very dynamic young man and a Marine which I'm very excited about.
Speaker 1:Go Marines. My dad was a Marine. I think I told you that, Max, when I saw you. So, Max, why don't you introduce yourself and tell us a little bit about you?
Speaker 3:Absolutely no. I appreciate that, judy. It means the world to be on here with you guys. And I'll tell you another thing. You know it's always a blessing when you get to share a space with, with individuals who are just moving through life in the right ways. You know, cause there's so much, so much mediocrity in this world, and so we need to sit with leaders that are just taking taking advantage of opportunities and just helping people out and guiding them through the, through the challenges. You know that that camp we did was excellent.
Speaker 3:So my name is Maximilian Alexander Dutton. I'm a, as you said, a United States Marine, but I'm a motivational speaker. I am a childhood trauma survivor. I am an individual who wants to see other people thrive. I want to be a part of their journey. Right? I've been blessed to have the opportunity to speak across the country over the last couple of years to inspire audiences from all different demographics, ages, occupations, you name it. I've been in the United States Marine Corps for 15 years. I'm a gun resurgence now and I'll be retiring here very, very shortly in the next couple of years, and my family here is in South Florida. We're getting ready to relocate to Northeast of the United States, southern Boston, new England area, so we're really excited about that. In a few weeks.
Speaker 2:Oh, that's up with your area. That's my neck of the woods. I'm a Massachusetts boy.
Speaker 3:That's where I'll be at. We actually just bought a home in Manchester, new Hampshire, and so I'm very, very pumped up about that.
Speaker 2:I'm up there all the time.
Speaker 1:Well, it was really a pleasure to see you at our RILA camps and just because some of our audience may not necessarily be Rotarians our necessarily be Rotarians Our RILA program is Rotary Youth Leadership Academy I'm sorry, awards. I always want to call it academy Rotary Youth Leadership Awards and basically we have every year in our district and this happens all over the world, but for our district we have two different camps that go up to the mountains, a total of about 450 11th graders that go up for a weekend and really have a life-changing experience and, max, you were truly a part of that this last camp.
Speaker 3:Absolutely. I appreciate that. No, I mean, it was definitely an experience that you have to be there to really see the transformation. Just 72 hours is incredible.
Speaker 1:So this was your first camp with us. Can you kind of tell us what was your? What did you think you were getting yourself into? And what did you get yourself into and what? What did you take away from the experience you had as our motivational speaker at our Rhyla camp?
Speaker 3:Well, you know, I think that for me, normally when I do my speaking engagements, I'm able to get in front of people. It's kind of like a one shot, one, one, you know, one event type, day kind of thing, where you know I go up there, do my thing for an hour, hour and a half and then, you know, I disappear back into my neck of woods, go home, whatever the case may be, you know. And so, with this one being a three day event, I wasn't quite sure what that experience was going to be like, uh. But you know, uh, the, the gentleman who worked with me, mike, one of my you know new friends, a great guy, um, he had made it seem like it was going to be awesome because there were s'mores and there was, you know great food, well, anywhere that there's s'mores about free food and s'mores, like I'm in, you know.
Speaker 3:So I didn't really know what to expect outside of that, but you know what ultimately came of it was just such a transformative experience for these 17-year-olds.
Speaker 3:I mean just for them to be able to go in there and, probably for the first time in their life, to be able to just kind of let their walls down right.
Speaker 3:We live in this world where it's just not okay to be yourself, it's not okay to be real, it's not okay to be present, right Like we're always in this constant rat race of pretending to be something that we're not. You know, we're trying to make friends, we're trying to impress people and for them to be able to say you know, this thing happening, this painful moment happened to me and to be able to have other people where they look around and look around, they realize something really important that we're not that different, right Like who I truly am. It turns out there's other people who have been through these things with me, and you know what it turns out. I don't have to be afraid anymore, I don't have to be alone anymore. I can be who I am meant to be, and for me it was also a really humbling experience. You know, as a military recruiter I spent a lot of time with that age group juniors and seniors in high school.
Speaker 1:Right Tough time in a kid's life sometimes. It is a tough time, especially if they feel really alone in that pain and that trauma right.
Speaker 3:Absolutely, absolutely, you know. So a transformative experience, to say the least, and I'm, without a doubt, I'm 100 percent certain that those individuals will remember that forever and that can be a foundational building block that will carry them for probably the rest of their life, hopefully, maybe, to be Rotarians one day themselves.
Speaker 2:Well, we saw that during the excuse me, the talent, no talent evening.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and on your camp I understand that there was a little bit more no talent than the talent.
Speaker 2:There was a higher percentage of no talent.
Speaker 1:But you know what it was amazing. But that's the fun part, right.
Speaker 2:The kids felt safe.
Speaker 1:They felt safe. Yeah.
Speaker 2:To go up there, knowing sometimes they had no talent getting up and just kind of improvising and doing it anyway. Doing it anyway, and that was truly remarkable, and I think that's one of the great things about the camp. It just it allows, as Max said, people to step out, let their hair down, but feel safe.
Speaker 1:And I think that's the biggest part, max, you really connected to these students because not all of them, but many of them have had some kind of trauma in their life and your story is so powerful and I really think it set them at ease and understanding. I'm not alone, I can have a conversation, I can be successful, I can reach out to those around me and and find friendships and find support from both my peers and the adults around me. It really you kind of see it as the camp goes from day one, when they arrive, until the end, when they're all best of friends and are friendships forever and have built these wonderful relationships with not only their peers but also with the adult discretion group leaders that they've worked with throughout the, throughout the week, weekend.
Speaker 3:Certainly. Yeah, I mean, I completely agree with you. I I'm um, uh, you know the age group for me. I'm 32, you know, and so for some of them, you know, I'm just another old person you're an old guy.
Speaker 3:Ah, welcome to our world right, but it's like I'm still young. You know, I'm still young, I'm still full, full energy, full life, and my life has not even really begun yet. But you know, with with these, with these young folks, you know, to be able to connect with them and to be able to share the next 10 years with them, to show them they look like I know what happens next, like I've seen it Right and I want to guide you through that. And they're so receptive. I mean they want to win in life and like they want to succeed in whatever. That looks like.
Speaker 3:Um, you know, for me, growing up, it's like all I wanted to do was just not have to worry about what to eat.
Speaker 3:You know, all I wanted to do was just not have to worry about where, where I'm sleeping, or having to reset my life, move or be homeless or whatever.
Speaker 3:And, um, you know, I want them to know one powerful thing when I am done with my message, the few speeches that I do there, I want them to be able to walk away with this, that you and this is for the listeners here too like you are in control, like it's your world right, like I will never be able to look out of your eyes, judy, and I'll never be able to look out of your eyes and to be able to see the world the way you see it, because it's your world.
Speaker 3:The world really does revolve around whoever is experiencing it, and so they're in complete control of what they do, their actions and like they. Yeah, they're 16, 17. They may not feel like, they may not feel like adults or whatever, but that is the most critical time in their life. That is the building block, the foundation. So you know, I want them to just be able to really take that and let them know that your environment does not define you unless you allow it to, because, again, you're in control. You can let it do whatever you want it to do.
Speaker 1:That's absolutely true, and I'd love you to talk about maybe a single experience. I know I just happened to walk up and saw a kid having a real intense conversation with you and this kid was like I was going this way and now I'm going a different way, based upon your input. What kind of things did you walk away from the weekend with that are similar to that? Was there any particular moment that stood out for you in that experience that you had at Ryla?
Speaker 3:You know, it was actually strange. It was a Sunday, so it was like we were kind of wrapping things up. It was the first, first first camp of the year and we were wrapping things up that sunday. I was having a conversation with a young woman and she started talking about how, um, she just wants to be able to have friends. You know, she's like I just want to have some friends at school. I just feel like nobody wants to hang out with me, nobody wants to spend time with me, and then I asked her, I said, a very, very, very impactful, very, very important question to her. I just said why does it matter? And she broke down in tears right there. She just started to cry. She just broke down, you know, and, um, I think that she probably had a realization that it doesn't matter. And she she can't quite put her finger on why she thought that it mattered.
Speaker 3:Because we're taught to think that it matters. We're taught to think that it's about the likes, right, like Instagram, or whole life is worried about how many likes do I get? How many views have I gotten? How many people want to say I'm awesome? And and you know, like I tell my students, for example, because I teach other people to become motivational speakers as well, and I teach my students and my look to be yourself and don't do it for the likes. Do what you like, then your audience will come. And the same thing is for 16 17 year olds, when you're trying to find friends and find your niche and find your group, find your, your identity and your in your team, right, like, be you, and then the right people will come to you. It's not about like trying to fit, trying to fit yourself. You know you're square, you're a square. Why put yourself in a round hole? Right, right, you know you're, you're a parallelogram, you don't't fit there.
Speaker 3:Just be you Right and you'll find the other parallelograms, so they'll make their way in, you know. But yeah, it was a powerful.
Speaker 2:I'd like to ask you, max, how you, how you got started on the motivational side. What was the driving force? What was the catalyst? What was the driving force? What was the catalyst? Because you're very impactful and what I like is that you're so much different than the previous person who was hosting our Ryla camp for years, and I think that there's a certain sense charisma, power that you have and the ability to connect with these kids. I'm real curious as to how you started down this road.
Speaker 3:Well, you know, I'll tell you, sir, not to be too dark here, you know, but I try to keep things light toward the ends of my presentations. But you know, there's a lot of darkness in this world, there's a lot of pain in this world that you face, right, and we all face it. And really the question is, it's like, how do you respond to it? Um me, I have a sister who, her and I, grew up together. Um, we went through the same things together up until about the age of 14. And she decided to take her adult life and to do what she saw. And I took my adult life and I chose to do what I didn't see. And we went on two completely different paths.
Speaker 3:And as time goes on, we are getting further and further and further apart. Like you know, for example, a plane takes off from California to go to Washington DC. Change the angle of the nose by one degree, and you know what, initially, after the first hundred miles, it may not be that big of a difference, but after you know, a thousand miles, before, you know, and you know, you are hours apart. When you reach your final destination, you know, a thousand miles away from where you thought you were going to be, and so you know it's, it's, it's, it's exponential, and so I guess, like how my story kind of began, I was a motivator from a young age.
Speaker 3:I was a motivational speaker from probably about the age of five and up, and the reason why I say that is because my father was an extremely abusive guy. I mean, I have a great relationship with him now, but I'm not afraid to share my story. It's like he was a tyrant. He was a no-nonsense kind of guy. I'm half black and half white and my father was just an old-school African-American raised in the streets of Philadelphia type of guy. He was also a crack addict and had a really hard time with that alcoholism, and my mother as well, and so they would get into domestic abuse situations and he would beat my mom very badly. I mean she'd have to be hospitalized, she would be running for her life trying to escape, escape and you know, eventually he would either get arrested or disappear, for you know however long, or we would move away.
Speaker 3:And you know when my wife, my mother's life, was in despair, you know when her eye sockets were broken, when we had no money or no food or no anything, when, when her life just kept falling apart over and over and over again. I mean, I had two options either one I could sit by and watch her go through this and do nothing and say nothing, or, you know, I can, just, you know, try to use my seven year old reasoning to try to explain to her that everything's going to be okay and we'll find a way forward and like whatever. And and that's how it really began, you know, and I think I began to conceptualize the fact that we're in control early in my life, and you know, I have a lot of people who, throughout my younger time in the Marine Corps, would ask me questions and ask me, you know, advice and guidance, even though I was super unqualified. I mean, I'm not, I do have a college degree, but like barely you know what I mean and I know, it's like I'm not a very educated guy per se. I read a lot of books, that's about it, you know. But it's like. But people always, even before that, have sought my guidance for one reason or another.
Speaker 3:And I haven't always been a man of God, but I am a follower of Christ and I will tell you like I realized now my age, at 32 years old, that he's been walking with me this entire time and and my story is my pain, my, my, my reality I was put here to do what I'm doing now. You know, like, this is what I'm supposed to do, and he's been telling me that since the beginning. So that's how it started. And you know, I've reached a point in my life where I've skipped, you know, the pyramid, you know Maslow's hierarchy, right, like I'm still, you know I'm missing things in the middle. Still, don't get me wrong. You know, but, like, but, I have my purpose in life and that, right there, drives me, uh, my self-actualization. Like I know what I'm here to do If I die today. I mean, I have my son, I have my daughter, I have my, my, my, my family's. Okay, I got my life insurance policies. Like I'm doing everything I need to do.
Speaker 1:And need to do, and if today was my last day, like, I've done my thing and so every day after today is extra, so that's why I do what I do. Forged by the fire, right, I love that. Well, we really appreciate you joining us today. We know you have a little bit of a tight schedule and we want to respect that, but we are happy that you are part of the Riley experience that our students are going through Any final thoughts, Nyron.
Speaker 2:I'm just. It amazes me how, as Mike says, your perspective in life and realizing and that's what I love about Ryle and Max, and that's some of the passion that drives us in what we do in Rotary, because the more kids that we can get in front of Max, the more kids we get to have that experience and to realize, if nothing else, that they leave, that they realize that what you said, they're in control of their life and they have the power. Then the world opens up to them like a new flower. So I'm really, I'm just impressed with you. It's impressive. When I first met you and thank you for what you do and thank you for being able to rise above the pain and the darkness to shed some light on somebody else on the planet and to help light their way forward.
Speaker 3:Thank you so appreciate that.
Speaker 1:So any final thoughts Max?
Speaker 3:Well, you know, anybody listening to this, you're never too old to learn. You're never done right, like, figure out what the next thing is. You know a finished musician is a finished musician that's what we say in the music world, and so, like we got to make sure that we might be a guy, you meet tomorrow and need something from you, and if you decide today that you're done, then you missed the opportunity of a lifetime, because a lifetime of the opportunity is all there is. So you know, never be done with it.
Speaker 1:Awesome.
Speaker 2:I just want to say, Max, there's a university out here and their tagline is live your purpose, and when I look at you, I see that that you're living your purpose and that's really quite remarkable. So thank you.
Speaker 3:Thank you so much for that. I appreciate that.
Speaker 1:Awesome, and we'll see you next March.
Speaker 3:See you next March.
Speaker 1:All right, have a good one.
Speaker 3:Take care.
Speaker 1:So that wraps up this episode of Heroes of Hope. We are so happy that we have an audience out there listening. We want you to subscribe, share and tell your friends about the Rotary Community Heroes of Hope, because that's how we get the word out about the impact we're having in this world.