Mindful Drinking & Moderation in Midlife: Low No Drinker Podcast

#101. 10 Things You Need to Know Before Starting Your Dry Month Challenge

• Denise Hamilton-Mace • Episode 101

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In this episode, I’m sharing 10 practical strategies for not just surviving but thriving during any alcohol-free challenge, whether it's Dry January, Sober October, or your own personal experiment.

Drawing from years of trial and error plus insights from the Low No Drinker community, I cover everything from prioritising sleep and movement to exploring the brilliant world of alcohol alternatives.

This isn't about white-knuckling through 31 days – it's about creating a proper toolkit for success whilst being kind to yourself along the way.


0:00 Dry month challenges
1:45 Sleep like you mean it
5:29 Eat right
8:05 Move it, move it
11:37 It's cool to be kind
14:21 Phone a friend
16:32 Journaling Your Journey
18:41 Let's go outside
23:41 Filling the Time Void
25:44 Sugar Cravings
28:37 Exploring Alcohol-Free Drinks



Also mentioned:
Healthy Metal
All the Bitter
Zero Proof Nation
Sober Points


Best episode to listen to next:
#79 Powerful Mindset Shifts That Will Transform Your Experience with Low/No Drinks – pt1

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Speaker 1:

So you've decided to take on an alcohol-free challenge. Whether that is dry July, sober October, dry January, sober spring Every month has got a rhyming name to mean taking a break from booze. Or it might just be your own personal experiment. Maybe you've reached a point where you think do you know what? I want? To give it a little bit of a break. I want to just give myself a challenge and see how I do. Well, that is brilliant, but how are you actually going to get through it without losing your mind, falling face first into a bag of Haribo, falling off whichever wagon you set for yourself? Well, today we are talking about survival or thrival strategies, not just you white knuckling through 31 days or however long you've set yourself, but actually thriving and making the most of this time. These 10 tips coming up come from years of personal trial and error, with a good dose of research and a few tips from others in Lono Nation, who I have worked with before, who have contributed to the magazine in Lono Nation, who I have worked with before, who have contributed to the magazine. And my promise is that by the end of this episode you will have a proper toolkit, not just wishful thinking, but some practical strategies that you can implement straight away.

Speaker 1:

Hello, hello and welcome to the newly renamed Mindful Drinking and Midlife Moderation podcast from Low no Drinker, the leading global magazine for mindful and sober curious drinkers. My name, as you'll know by now, is Denise Hamilton-Mace, and I'm the founder, editor and host of all things Low no Drinker, and I'm here to help you find, understand and enjoy the world of low no and light alcohol drinks, drinkers and drinking. So the first one on our list is one that is very close to my heart and there's a reason why I've put this at the top of the list, and tip one is to sleep like. Your success depends on it. Why? Because everything and I mean everything starts with how well you sleep. The duration and the quality of your sleep directly impacts your decision making powers and, importantly for a challenge like, and the quality of your sleep directly impacts your decision-making powers and, importantly for a challenge like this, the magnitude of your willpower, because it is not an infinite resource. Willpower is finite. That's why you'll find that you are better at resisting things or doing things in the mornings or whenever you wake up, rather than towards the end of the day, because we have used it all up and we're starting to run out.

Speaker 1:

The more you sleep, the more your brain is rested, the more your mind feels in control, then the easier you will find completing challenges like this that you set for yourself. Whether that is, by the way, to go completely dry, or it might be that you set yourself a challenge of moderation, it's all up to you. As you know by now, my approach is doing what works best for you, but that does require some trial and error. But it all stems from being able to make the right choices. So I want to, in this episode, give you some practical advice as well as just some motivation, because I don't want it just to be empty platitudes that you kind of come away from and go okay, that's all well and good, but how do I do that? So I struggle myself personally with sleep.

Speaker 1:

It's always been a challenge for me, so at the moment, I'm actually taking a magnesium supplement from a company called Healthy Metal. Now, this episode is not sponsored by them, but they. It does really help. There are a lot of other magnesium supplements out there on the market. There's about 60 different types of magnesium. Apparently, they all do different things in the body, so make sure you're reading up on the bit that works best for you. But other things that you can do if you're not interested in taking a supplement is try and improve your sleep hygiene, as it's known.

Speaker 1:

So, putting your phone down an hour before bed and I know this is a really tricky one, because I've got into a really bad habit at the moment of playing games on my phone. I've got lots of games on my phone to entertain the kids when we're on the train or something, and now I've started playing them. So I need to actually get rid of them, but I've got into a bad habit of playing them late into the evening. So putting your phone down an hour before bed, preferably in a different room where it's far away from you, so you're not tempted to look at it or distracted by notifications. Remember that your bedroom is not an office, it's not an entertainment center. It's there so that you can get the rest that your body and your brain needs to be able to serve you best the next day. And finally, if you generally have a nightcap before you go to bed, if you have a wee dram, as they say, then it's about replacing that with a different ritual, with something else that can work well for you, whether that is perhaps a herbal tea, whether that is reading a book, whether that is going for a late night walk and you'll hear me mention walking quite a bit, because I do believe in the power of getting your steps in. So try these different things.

Speaker 1:

Now, what you need to bear in mind is that the first few nights that you are doing a dry month challenge, you might sleep terribly, even if you try all these things. That is normal. It is not a failure. It is your body adjusting to the fact that you have changed what it is used to getting, and it's trying to figure out if it wants to return to that new state of homeostasis that you've put it in or if it wants to go on to something different. And it will eventually catch up with what your brain wants to do, but it's going to take a little bit of time, so make sure you give yourself some grace around that, okay.

Speaker 1:

The second thing that you need to be focusing on when you're looking into a dry month challenge is to make sure that you eat well, um, but, but don't go crazy about it. Mixing a brand new diet with a dry month challenge and doing a new workout routine and reading three books a week. It might sound like all the things that you want to achieve in your life. That might be the person that you want to be, but this is not the 75 hard challenge. Okay, this is simply about you looking at one aspect of your life that you want to improve and putting your energy and your focus and your effort into making that happen, which, in turn, will give you more energy to focus on the other things in your life. It's just like a domino effect. You have to just take your time, knock over the first one and then you'll have extra strength to deal with the next bits in your life that you want to focus on.

Speaker 1:

So, whether it is that you're looking at going I don't know vegan or pescatarian, or gluten-free or keto you know there's a million diets out there. Whatever it is that you currently do, my advice is to keep on doing that, but to do it better. Get variety in your diet. Get colors on your plate. It's the easiest way to make sure that you're getting the most nutrients in your body. No matter what type of diet you follow. The more colors on your plate, it's the easiest way to make sure that you're getting the most nutrients in your body, no matter what type of diet you follow. The more colors on your plate, the better for your body, because we do need all the different elements to make sure that we're keeping ourselves strong and able to power through these challenges.

Speaker 1:

We need protein to build and maintain our muscles. We need carbs to provide energy and to keep our brain functioning. If I hear one more person quote that old no carbs before marbs I might strangle them, because you need carbs. Fruit and vegetables are carbs and we need fats. Yes, we do need fats. They protect our organs, they stimulate cell growth, they absorb nutrients. So keep doing what you normally do, just do better versions of it. Try and aim for fresh ingredients, try and aim for lots of colors, but don't think that you have to go Nigella on this or Jamie Oliver on this and come up with like amazing recipes and flair and gusto in the kitchen. You know, if you're feeding the kids and all they want for dinner tonight is fish fingers and you're like, oh, I don't have the energy to come up with something else and you want to have fish fingers, have fish fingers, but keep some frozen peas in the freezer and make sure that you give yourself some of those when you do it, you know, just making little changes as you go along to help support your body so that it can support your brain in supporting the changes that you want to make for your life. Okay, tip number three and this one is challenging for people, but you can do it, and that is to move your body even if you don't feel like it. This is not about motivation, this is about dedication.

Speaker 1:

Lethargy is often a side effect of cutting back on booze for the first time. Again, your body is adjusting and it's adapting, and whenever your body goes through a period of adaptation, it puts all of its energy and reserve into dealing with that thing that's happening, and it doesn't have a lot of energy left over for other things. So generally, you find that you feel a bit more lethargic, a bit lazy. You don't particularly want to do anything or start too many new projects, even though you might think you do. Actually getting off the sofa and doing them is a completely different matter, so simple ways to keep your body moving are often the best.

Speaker 1:

Now, I'm sure you've heard that the recommendation is that you get 10,000 steps a day. Now this actually, as a little aside, turns out to be a completely arbitrary number, which I found out when I was researching it for another article. Um, it was created as a marketing ploy for the first ever step counters, which came out in japan ahead of the tokyo olympics. It's a true story. I've got a blog about it somewhere. I'll find it if you want it. But it's actually not a terrible aim to go for.

Speaker 1:

The average brit and this applies in the States as well walks just 3,000 to 4,000 steps a day. Put that into context, that is roughly 30 to 40 minutes of brisk walking spread over an entire 24-hour period. That is not a lot of walking. You can do better, and this is a perfect time to start. So it might be while you're at work. If you've got phone calls and take your phone call standing up or walk around the office.

Speaker 1:

Go for a 10 minute break every 90 minutes or so. This is something that I've tried to do on a regular basis, because I can get really deep into my work and just forget to look up. So try and go for a break every 90 minutes or so. Preferably go outside, walk around, have a look at some grass, absorb some nature. If you're at home. Then go for a jog, if you want, to a very gentle one. Don't try and race away the day. Dance with the kids. Move around the kitchen whilst you're cooking dinner. Don't just stand there waiting for something to cook. Go to the other side of the kitchen and tidy something up.

Speaker 1:

You know, there's little things that you can do to help you move more and to get more steps in, and what you might find is you might find that this turns into a habit that you keep going. Almost a year ago now, on August the 21st last year, I set myself a goal to walk a minimum of 11,000 steps a day. I chose 11,000 because it was one more than 10,000. And I thought well, I'm going to try and do a little bit better. And I'm pleased to say that, come rain, sleet or snow and I have been rained on a lot I've managed to do 11,000 steps a day for almost an entire year. It has not made me the fittest person on the planet. I'm not a speed walking champion, I don't have buns of steel, but it does get me out of the house, it does mean that I get some fresh air and it does keep my body moving and it's good for my heart. So you know it's definitely something that I recommend you give it a try, because movement creates energy, even when you don't feel like it, and that energy can then be transferred into helping you make better decisions, into improving your willpower when it comes to sticking to your choice to embark on this challenge.

Speaker 1:

And tip number four is to be kind to yourself. The words that we use when we talk to ourself are so important, and I think a lot of people don't recognize the negative self-talk that they can give themselves. Your inner critic is going to be working overtime because your body and your mind want to return to what they were used to. It's easy for you to keep doing what you've been doing that's why it's called a habit but you can't let yourself fall victim to your own negativity. There's no point in beating yourself up if you have I don't want to use the word slip, but if you consume alcohol on days that you had planned that you weren't going to or you had more than you had intended to with your moderation goals, then don't beat yourself up about it. You need to reframe that language so that you can treat yourself a bit better. So yes, I know, I did just tell you to get up more and to move more and to eat better and to prioritize your sleep. But if you don't manage to do those things today or tomorrow or the next day, then be kind to yourself about it and if it helps, you can reframe the words that you use to speak to yourself as if you were speaking to your best mate, because you would be there for your friends, you would support them and you wouldn't allow them to beat themselves up for having a slip, for not achieving one goal on one day.

Speaker 1:

So try changing the way you speak to yourself, from saying this is hard to this is hard, and I'm doing it anyway, you know. Remember that this is about progress. It's not about perfection. It doesn't matter if you have a couple of days where you drink in different ways than you had intended. The fact is that you are making this effort and you are on this journey and you are on your way and that is a fantastic thing. And tell yourself. You know, I always tell my kids to say to themselves whenever something is difficult and they don't want to do it anymore is to say to themselves I can do hard things and my daughter Isla, who's only five years old, but I think she might have the soul of a 30-year-old inside her. She said to me the other day Mummy, I hate it when you say I can do hard things. I said, why? What's wrong with saying you can do hard things? And she said I want to change it to. I can do incredible things. And you know what I'm going with it? Because that's amazing and it has inspired me to tell myself I can do incredible things when it's tough, and you, you can do incredible things too.

Speaker 1:

One mistake does not undo everything, just like one jog doesn't make you Usain Bolt. This is about creating habits that change into incredible lifestyle changes over time. Okay, step number five is don't be a solo hero. Get some support. Going alone with anything in life is tricky. Of course, we need to have people around us. We are social creatures. We have been since the dawn of time. We move in packs. We need a community around us. So find somebody to go on this journey with you. Find a friend who might be interested in doing your dry month challenge or your sober spring or whatever it is. But and this is really important that doesn't mean that if none of your friends want to do it with you, or if they do, but they all give up on day 10, that you should give up as well. What it means is that you need to find someone who understands and who supports your mission and can act as your own personal sort of cheerleader for that time.

Speaker 1:

Find one person who gets it Now. Hopefully this is somebody in real life. This might be. It might be your mum, it might be your best mate uh, depending on how old they are, it might even be your kids. It could be your partner. It could be your friend, it could be a work colleague, but tell that person what you're doing. Tell your friends what your boundaries are. Let people know I'm doing this for whatever length of time, and I'd really appreciate it if you didn't offer me a drink this time, or when I say I'm going home, if you didn't offer me a drink this time, or when I say I'm going home, if you didn't pressure me, but you helped me feel like I'm making the right choice. Now I appreciate that not everybody has a network around them, so if you don't have somebody in real life, then take to the online community. There are so many Instagram pages, there are Facebook groups, there are meetup groups that are there specifically for these types of things. So go, search and find the one that fits the lifestyle that you want. Whether you want people that share your appreciation for music or the arts or exercise, whatever it is, there are groups within groups that are doing the same thing that you're doing taking on these challenges or looking to live a life less intoxicated, and doing that in association with the other things that they enjoy in their life.

Speaker 1:

Okay, step six, and this is to get things out of your head and to get them down on paper. Now, I mentioned just now having a community around you, and it's good to have people to talk to, but sometimes we might feel a little bit self-conscious about talking to people about our relationship with alcohol and why you've decided that you want to take this challenge and you want to take a month off. So if that's the case, then one great way to combat that is to try writing it down instead, and journaling can be a fantastic way to connect with yourself and think through your choices and your actions without fear of judgment or ridicule Not that people would do that but without that fear of those questioning glances that you might be worried about If you take the time to every day whether that's five minutes before you go to bed first thing, in the morning, during your lunch break, just depending on when you are feeling most in touch with yourself and write it down, preferably in an actual physical journal with pen and paper. But if you prefer, if you're more technical and you want to do it on your tablet or your phone or whatever, then you can do that as well. Don't worry if you are going to journal about this stuff, don't worry about it being grammatically correct, don't worry about it being a long flowing soliloquy. This is just for you. This is not for everybody to read and to comment on. Nobody's going to be grading your journaling. So write about what was hard, write about what was good that day. Make sure you put in that journal, at the very front, the goals that you're trying to achieve and the reasons why you're trying to achieve these goals. And every day you can have a look at them and say where you feel that you are on that journey, why you're trying to achieve these goals. And every day you can have a look at them and say where you feel that you are on that journey, if you're stepping closer towards them if they've changed, what the motivations are behind it. It's a really great way to get in touch with who you are and why you're doing what you're doing and what changes you want to get from taking this challenge and, importantly, beyond it as well. Okay, step seven and this relates a little bit to the one that I mentioned before about movement, but this is more specifically about getting yourself out in the open.

Speaker 1:

Fresh air is not optional. Do not and I repeat, do not fall into the hibernation trap and think that because you are taking a month off the booze, that you have to stay inside. It saddens me when I see so many people saying oh no, no, I'm not drinking, so I'm not going out. That is not the point of these challenges. Life revolves around you drinking. Then you're not going to learn to develop new social skills and enjoyments and habits and relationships if all you do is stay inside because you're not having booze. It is a choice, and it's a choice that you can make to expand your social life without alcohol in it for any length of time.

Speaker 1:

It's easy to think that it's safer to stay at home, away from temptation, but staying inside, cooped up indoors, will eventually drive you stir crazy, and I say this as a homebody. I love being at home, but you've got to get outside. You've got to speak to people. You've got to communicate with other human beings. You've got to get outside. You've got to speak to people. You've got to communicate with other human beings. You've got to get some fresh air in your lungs and some vitamin D on your skin. They are great mood boosters, both of those, and they are completely free. So, if you get out there, go for that walk that I was talking about, but do it with somebody. Do it with a friend you know, or walk to your favorite cafe and sit down and have a coffee with somebody. Whatever it is. You've got to get out there and, in terms of socializing, there is no reason that you can't still socialize just because you're not having alcohol. Yes, it's a new skill to learn and in the beginning it might be a bit tricky and you might feel like you can only do a little while, because temptation is a bit too much, but each time you do it, you will get better at it. So, whether that's asking a friend that you would normally go to the pub with to meet you and go for a coffee or a juice, or to do something completely different.

Speaker 1:

Alcohol free venues are growing in number across the globe. I know that in the us, in california, all the bitter have literally just opened a brand new uh tasting room and bottle shop. Here in the uk we've got alcohol-free venues in manchester, in london and all up and down the land. I'll do an episode for you, if you like, on some of the places that you can go and socialize that don't have the temptation of alcohol. But there's also resources that you can use, things like Zero Proof Nation and the new one, sober Points. These are online maps that show venues that have great alcohol-free selections. They might not be completely dry, but they have great options. So if you're out with somebody who does want to have a drink but you don't, then you can find one of these places that have great quality options for you. There's just so many different ways to do it, whether you're going to go out and go to somewhere like a competitive socialising venue and do something like axe throwing. Now, these venues do still have a bar with alcohol in them, but they also have a great choice of alcohol-free drinks.

Speaker 1:

And I don't know about you, I don't particularly want to be drinking whilst I'm wielding an axe, before or afterwards. So you know there are options and things that you can do. Go, take a class. You know, if there's something that you've always wanted to do, then this is a great time to go and try it. And that leads me nicely on to step number eight, which is to fill the time void.

Speaker 1:

Alcohol takes up a lot more of your time than you realize. It's not just about the night out, it's not just about the boozy weekends away, and it's not even just about the hangover the next morning. It's the fact that three days later, whether you realize it or not, you're probably operating at less than your full capacity. I've actually got an interview coming up with somebody who's going to talk about regaining 10 hours of your week from changing the way that you drink. But hangovers, as I said, they suck up more of your time than you realize. So by cutting back on the booze, you're going to find that you've got a lot more free time on your hands than before.

Speaker 1:

Go and do something with that time. The worst thing that you can do is sit around waiting for dry January or sober October or whatever to be over so that you can go and get smashed on the first of the next month. So what is it that you've always wanted to try? Do you want to learn a language? Do you want to play the guitar? Start that couch to 5k challenge from the app that you downloaded six months ago but haven't looked at since? Yeah, do you want to visit a museum and stare thoughtfully at some dots on a canvas until you have an epiphany? Whatever it is, go for it. Salsa, dancing classes, escape rooms, the the opportunities are endless. This is the perfect time to find something new to do now. Don't get me wrong. It's totally fine to also sit down and catch up on that netflix series that you've been wanting to binge, get around to tidying up that pile of whatever in the house that you've been meaning to do, but remember that you can do that at any time as well. You're going to have some newfound energy once you've gotten a few weeks into your break from booze, so go and put it to good use and use your new joie de vivre to design the life that you want to lead. Now, step number nine in this mastery series is to fuel your success.

Speaker 1:

We mentioned food earlier on, but what we haven't mentioned is the relationship between food and alcohol. So, depending on what you normally drink cocktails, maybe a porn star, martini, even a cider they all contain far more sugar than you might have realized. And when you cut back on drinking alcohol, it's perfectly natural to start craving sweet treats instead. If you spend any time on social media, you'll soon see people start talking about the two things that they crave the most when they cut back on alcohol. Apart from alcohol are sugar, so sweet things and caffeine. So once you've started reducing your alcohol intake, you will find yourself craving these things because they give you energy that you would normally have gotten from the alcoholic drink. Give you energy that you would normally have gotten from the alcoholic drink.

Speaker 1:

So this is not where I'm going to start telling you that you have to just live on a kale juice diet, because that sounds gross. So by all means, indulge in the odd Jaffa Cake donut. I discovered those the other day. They are amazing but beware of the repeat occurrence of the sugar monster and try to stock up on some healthier snacks as well. This is all part of you getting outside more, moving more, getting better sleep, because if you can fuel your body with all of those things, it's going to help you stay more committed to your choice in completing the challenge the way you want to. And also, a lot of people enter into these challenges as a way to manage their health and to manage their weight. So you might be wondering why is that? You've stopped drinking, but you haven't seen any change in your weight or the way that you look or the way that you feel, and a big culprit for that, as I said, is the fact that you will be, even unconsciously, eating more sugar than you had intended to.

Speaker 1:

So try to find some smart swaps. So I'm sure you've heard that dark chocolate is better for you than milk chocolate. It contains less calories. It's also got some very positive ingredients in it. Nuts and dried fruit work well instead of biscuits. I love a dried apricot and they have a real sweetness to them, so if you've got a sweet tooth, then that really, really helps. So have a look at things like that that you can enjoy. Now, like I said, it doesn't mean that you can't indulge in anything that you enjoy, but if you enjoy a packet of crisps, maybe go for Walker's. Do a great range of baked crisps now instead of fried crisps. So there's a lot of swaps that you can make. You just have to look around for them a little bit.

Speaker 1:

The last step in your mastery success guide should come as no surprise, considering what I talk about most of the time on this podcast or if you heard me speak at an event or on my socials, and that is to explore the alternative universe of alcohol-free drinks. You may be thinking wasn't the point not to drink? No, the point is not to drink alcohol if that's what you set yourself. But there is a wealth of wonderful low, low and light alcohol drinks available for you now, and this is the perfect time for you to be trying them and to be experimenting with them and mixing and matching and discovering new flavors and new drinks categories and new drinks types, whether you enjoy beers or ciders or wines, spirits, functional drinks, fermented drinks the list is endless and the quality now is so far removed from the poor cousins of yesteryear that you are literally doing yourself a disservice if you don't give them a try.

Speaker 1:

The low, no and light alcohol market is now full of thousands of adult beverages for those who choose to drink differently for any reason, for any length of time. A lot of them are produced by founders who, just like you, are looking for solutions for those times when they choose not to drink. So they might be more reminiscent of full strength alcohol drinks, and some of them are produced by founders who don't want their drinks to have anything to do with alcohol. So if you want something that's not going to remind you of the booze, then you can go for those as well. The best thing about these is that they allow you to not feel like you are missing out, so I really do encourage you to go and explore all of these amazing drinks that have been made just for you.

Speaker 1:

Don't settle for just another lime and soda when you're in the pub. Find venues that have quality alternatives. Hit your supermarket shelves You'll find some familiar brands that you are comfortable with and then jump online and use online retailers like Dry Drinker and Wise Bartender I've got a discount code for both of those in the show notes for you and you can use those sites to find the independent producers who make some of the most interesting drinks out there, including things like one of my personal favorites, the Electric Mango Boobaloo Sour. I mean, how can you not try a drink with a name like that? So go and experiment, go and investigate.

Speaker 1:

This is not just about the single drink that you are choosing not to have. This is about the experience that you're giving yourself and the opportunity that you're supporting yourself in having by taking a break from the way that you normally drink for whatever length of time, for whatever reason, and making sure that you've got quality adult drinks to accompany you whilst you do it. Okay, so there you have it 10 steps to not just survive but thrive. Your break from booze for whatever length of time, for whatever reason. Break from booze for whatever length of time for whatever reason. Now, I'm not saying that you have to be perfect at all. 10 of these straight away.

Speaker 1:

I would suggest picking two or three that resonate with you and starting there. Remember that this is an experiment. It's not a life sentence. This is you trying out different things that work well for you. So if you know, for example, that you're struggling with your sleep, then perhaps start with that one and make sure that you're getting enough rest.

Speaker 1:

And I know that sometimes these things aren't easy, particularly when you've got kids, depending on how old they are, and although I believe that whatever age they are, they like to give you extra reasons to stay up at night and worry, but whether it is, like I said, trying some sleep, looking at your diet and making sure that you've got plenty of colors on your plate, getting out there and joining me on a walk which would be a great time to be listening to this podcast or many of the others that are out there to help you in your choices to live a life less intoxicated. I would love, if you've enjoyed this episode and if you found it useful for you to do me to grow the podcast so that I can reach more people who are just like you, who are looking for some support and some guidance on this journey. That is it from me for this week. Thank you for joining me and until next time. Cheers to a life less intoxicated.

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Denise Hamilton-Mace

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