118: Why You Can’t Drink Like You Used To

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If you've ever wondered why that glass of wine or pint of beer hits differently now than it did ten years ago, this episode breaks down the reality behind why midlife drinking hits differently.

I explore three critical body changes that make alcohol more potent as we age: declining water content (dropping from 60% to 50% by our 50s), hormonal shifts during menopause and andropause, and how alcohol sabotages the restorative sleep our bodies desperately need.

From practical pacing strategies to adaptogenic alternatives and sleep hygiene tips, I offer actionable ways to work with your changing body rather than fight against it. Because you're not broken – you're just not 18 anymore.

0:00 Listener Question Inspo
2:42 Body Water And Alcohol Intensity
5:47 Hormones, Menopause And Andropause
8:27 Weight gain, adaptogens & nootropics
10:21 The Nightcap Myth And REM Sleep
13:34 Sleep Hygiene And Alcohol-Free Nightcaps

Also mentioned:
Healthy Metal*
Trip Magnesium drinks*

Best episode to listen to next: 
#78 How Your Tastes Change When You Start Drinking Low/No

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✅ Get the Beginner's Guide to Mindful Drinking - https://lownodrinker.com/mindful-drinking-beginners-guide/

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❓ Take the Midlife Drinking Triggers Quiz - https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/68dd33385bb4a20015996a13

Transcript

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Listener Question Inspo

SPEAKER_00 0:31

I received a message from a listener the other day, which I love. We'll call them Jay. And Jay said this: Hi Denise, I'm really keen to cut down on drinking. I'm not an alcoholic, but I'm not 18 anymore. I'm nearly 60. And as you're listening to the Mindful Drinking and Moderation in Midlife podcast, I'm guessing you're not 18 anymore either. We've all got fond memories of Great Nights Out and Wild Weekends when we were in our late teens and early 20s, maybe late 20s or beyond. But the fact of the matter is that as we age, alcohol hits us differently. This is not a sign of failure or some obscure biological anomaly that only you are experiencing. It is simply biology. And it's one of the many reasons why I always say that drinking differently is a whole new kettle of kippers for those of us in our 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s, and beyond. So in today's episode, I want to hopefully put your mind at rest and tell you why alcohol hits so differently for those of us in midlife and look at ways you can plan around the needs of your body instead of fighting against it. Hello, hello, and welcome to this week's episode of the Mindful Drinking and Moderation in Midlife podcast. My name is Denise Hamilton Mace, and I am your mindful drinking mentor. I am here to help you design and build a life less intoxicated on your own terms. Now, before we dive in fully, I need to share a little disclaimer that none of what you are about to hear should be considered medical advice. And as wise as I am, I am not a doctor. So if you are concerned about anything to do with your health regarding the way alcohol is impacting you or your body, please go and speak to somebody who has spent many, many years and lots and lots of money training to become a medical professional. I and this podcast are all about lived experience in this crazy little thing called life. That being said, let's talk about your body.

Body Water And Alcohol Intensity

SPEAKER_00 2:36

Why not? We've got three points to look at today. And the first one is about your body composition and how that impacts the way that alcohol in turn impacts you. So it's one of those facts that you probably learnt in school and sticks with you. But just in case you've forgotten it, the human body is made up of roughly 60% water. However, what they didn't tell you in school is that is for your average uh newly formed adult, somebody in their 20s or so. But by the time you reach your 50s, that drops to around 50%. Now, 10% might not seem like much of a difference, but there's a reason that it matters when it comes to alcohol. Alcohol is distributed around the body through your total body water via the bloodstream and then diffuses into all the water-rich organs like your liver, your brain, your heart, and your muscles. The more you drink, the higher your blood alcohol level rises. We all know that, okay? But the less water there is in your blood, the quicker that rise happens. I like the analogy of like a glass of squash or uh a Kool-Aid to my American listening friends. Hi. Um, if you have the same amount of water in a glass, but you add more cordial or you add more Kool-Aid, uh, you're going to get a more intense drink. And it's the same thing that happens in your blood when you consume alcohol as you get older. So, what can you do? There is no scientific workaround here. Women and older humans naturally have lower water content. And I know that this advice is going to seem a bit boring, but the best thing that you can do is to drink more water. And when I say that, I need to remind you that only water is water. You can't say, Oh, I've had six cups of tea today, that all contains water, so therefore I'm drinking more water, because actually that's a diuretic and it means you'll have less water in your body. Only water is water. Okay, my moment over. The next best thing that you can do is to level out the intensity of that mix by reducing the volume of alcohol that you put into your system in the first place. Your body physically cannot process it any faster, so there's no point in you expecting it to. Instead, try, for example, pacing, so only having uh one alcoholic drink per hour, and give your body an actual chance to process one lot of booze before you go and put the next lot inside. Now, you could do that, as I said, by something called pacing, which is just having one drink per hour. You could zebra stripe and alternate between your full strength and your alcohol free. I've spoken a lot about the different types of ways that you can moderate before, and I'll link to one of those episodes in the show notes for you below. Okay, reason number two, and yes, we're keeping it fast and furious today because I want to give you this information so that you can start making uh practical act taking practical actions, ASAP, rather than overloading you with loads of detail. So

Hormones, Menopause And Andropause

SPEAKER_00 5:41

the second reason why you cannot drink like you used to, and this is one that is going to affect all of us, is your hormones. Now, time to get personal. I don't mind sharing with you. I am a 46-year-old perimenopausal woman. Uh, and for the chaps who are listening, before you turn off or roll your eyes, it is a part of life, and as much as it happens to us women, it happens to you chaps too. Yes, while women deal with the seemingly never-ending, up to 10 bloody years, apparently, um, symptoms of menopause. I'm I'm not bitter, honestly, I'm fine with it. Uh, you fellas have your own little hormonal cascade, and it's called andropause. Uh, it's not a sudden onset like menopause, and it's not an all-encompassing set of symptoms that you experience. It's more of a gradual decline in testosterone that starts around 30 or 40 years old, or when you start having children, and it can affect your mood, uh your metabolism, and the way your body handles alcohol. Both menopause and andropause can lead to uh heightened emotional volatility, that just means you're moody, uh disrupted sleep, foggy your mornings. But when you combine that with alcohol, it adds a physical strain to a body that's already dealing with everything from hot flushes and night sweats, that might be more us girls than you chaps, uh, to cardiovascular stress, uh, weight gain and muscle loss. Those three affect all of us. It also slows down your metabolism, it increases fat storage and can make dehydration worse. And we've already spoken about why hydration is so important. So, what can you do? First of all, I haven't said any of this to scare you into going sober straight. You know that is not my vibe, it's up to you how you choose to let alcohol show up in your life. But I am a very big uh fan of the saying that forewarned is forearmed. I like to know exactly what I'm dealing with. And when it comes to midlife hormones and booze, I need to know that those two just aren't very good friends. So don't force them to be. When you're feeling noticeable symptoms, um, alcohol might be the thing that you usually go to to deal with the fact that you don't feel fantastic, but you need to know that when it comes to the way that it's reacting with your hormones, alcohol is not yourself, it's not your friend, it's not going to help make these symptoms better, it's only

Weight gain, adaptogens & nootropics

SPEAKER_00 8:21

going to exacerbate them whilst your body works hard to process the alcohol before it does anything else. One of the reasons why people gain a lot of weight when they're drinking is because your body processes alcohol before it processes food or fat or other hormones or anything else that goes on. So leave your body to get on with the things that it needs to do, as annoying as it is. Instead of reaching for alcohol, this is a great time to find yourself some functional adaptogenic or nootropic drinks that help perk you up in those areas where you're feeling genuinely depleted. In case you're new to those terms, adaptogenic refers to ingredients like herbs that are naturally occurring and help your body to replenish itself or boost itself where needs be. And nootropic is a similar sort of thing, but it refers to ingredients that help your brain to be more cognizant, to function sharper, help improve your memory. I have done an episode on adaptogens and nootropics a while ago, but I am going to do a new one for you because it's a fascinating area, and there are so many drinks out there in the low-no space now that include adaptogenic and nootropic ingredients and can do everything from help you to improve your memory, feel a little bit sharper, help with muscle recovery if you work out a lot, to mood-boosting drinks that can act like that sort of one or two drink feeling so that you feel a slight buzz, but without any of the downsides of alcohol because they don't have any alcohol in them at all. So I will do an episode on that for you soon. If you want it sooner rather than later, though, do let me know because as you'll see from this episode, from Jay's comment, I do listen to what you want, and I want to make sure I'm making the shows that you want to listen to.

The Nightcap Myth And REM Sleep

SPEAKER_00 10:15

All right, the third and final one on our list today is a topic that I could talk about all day because I need to get better at it, and it's sleep. A good night's sleep. Every parent dreams since the day they bring those little rascals home. Is that irony? I think it is. Um, like I said, I could and I will do a whole episode on alcohol and sleep for you because it can be so elusive, especially as we get older. I personally don't get nearly enough sleep, uh, and quite possibly you don't either. Um, but there is a huge belief. There is uh decades behind the use of the term having a little nightcap. Um, we do believe that a wee dram before bedtime helps us get a good night's sleep. But I hate to be the bearer of bad news. That's just not true. Okay, so a little bit of sciencey stuff. Alcohol does technically help you fall asleep faster. Wait, Delease, you just said it doesn't. Bear with me. It does help you fall asleep faster, but that's pretty much where the benefits end. So, as you'll already know, because you are extremely wise, alcohol is a nervous system depressant and a sedative. Okay, it triggers the release of the sleep hormone adenosine, which is what knocks you out, or if you've had a lot to drink, it makes you pass out, uh, but then it drops off really quickly. So, what happens is at first you sleep more deeply. If you've ever tried to wake a very drunk person, then you'll know exactly what I mean. But like I said, that sadly doesn't last. When you do eventually fall into REM sleep, that's the bit that you actually need for restorative, regenerative rest. Your REM cycles, which are usually 20 minutes or so, become a lot shorter and a lot less frequent than your body and your brain require. As you're sleeping and you metabolize the alcohol, your body rebounds and tries to overcompensate for the poor sleep, which then leads to fragmented REM sessions and you waking up more frequently. Okay, now all of that science mumbo jumbo is to say that when you sleep on alcohol, you don't get good sleep. Okay, you wake up in the morning, you're still feeling tired, you're feeling unrested, you're feeling stressed, and a million unresolved things are racing through your mind because your brain hasn't had the time to process it with those weird dreams that actually mean you're figuring things out. Uh, and then as the day goes on, you become more short-tempered and highly stressed. Sound familiar? And then both your decision-making processes and your willpower are vastly diminished. Now, I know I've spoken before and said that changing the way you drink isn't all about willpower, but it does play a role, of course. And then what happens is you end up making less healthy, shall we say, choices, uh, and you end up just getting back on the booze again later that evening when all you really actually need is more and better sleep. So, what can you

Sleep Hygiene And Alcohol-Free Nightcaps

SPEAKER_00 13:28

do? The good news is that sleep is one of those areas that can recover quite quickly in midlife once you start to prioritize it. My sleep is still rubbish because I don't prioritize it because I'm too busy working and doing other things, but those are my issues and I will deal with them. So, first thing that you need to do is stop having booze before bed. Give yourself at least a three-hour window between your last alcoholic drink of the night and the time when you want to go to sleep. Next, put your phone away. Late night Instagram is not your friend. Let's ignore the fact that it is a toxic environment, which is not good for anybody's psyche. Nobody is that pretty, that happy, or that rich and spending all their time on Instagram. That's again for another episode. But late night scrolling on Instagram, on Twitter or X or whatever platform you spend your time on does not help you. You need to get away from that late night blue light emitting from your phone. And then you need to start working on your general sleep hygiene, all those tips that you've heard about before, you know, a nice sleeping environment, a dark room, clean sheets, a nice smelling environment. Everything that you can think of in that area to help create a nice, serene, relaxing sleep environment will genuinely make a really big difference. Uh, but back to my area of expertise and the actual drinks themselves. Um, instead of having that whiskey nightcap or whatever it might usually be, it's time to start finding again some non-alcoholic alternatives. So there are a lot of great um non-alcoholic or alcohol-free whiskey alternatives out there, and an alcohol-free hot toddy could be a great option for you. Or if you want to keep to cold drinks, anything with magnesium, magnesium glycinate helps with uh a good night's sleep. I use a supplement from a brand called Healthy Metal, which I will link for you below. It is an affiliate link, but you don't have to get it. Obviously, there are other ones out there. Um, or you can try something from brands like Trip. Trip do a whole range now of magnesium-based drinks, or just like a nice tea, something with chamomile or valerian root. This one isn't rocket science, okay. As we get older, our sleep architecture naturally declines. Okay. Uh, be honest with yourself. How many times do you get up for a wee in the night? Um, so you have to just protect it, and that's all it is. You need to protect it more fiercely. Okay, so with that being said, to Jay and to anyone else who's wondering why you can't drink like you used to, it's because you're not the same person that you used to be. Everything about you has changed since you were 18, I hope. And there's no reason why this shouldn't change too. It is a natural biological progression. These changes take place for everybody. And know that if you do want alcohol to still be part of your life, you need to recognize that the way that you allow it to participate in your life looks different in midlife than it did when you were in your 20s. It doesn't mean that you're broken or failing or incapable, but it just means you have to put your big boy or big girl pants on and recognize that you might need to make some different choices about how you allow alcohol to be part of your life. It's fine. Who wants to be 18 again anyway? I definitely don't. I cover some of these topics and a lot more inside the four-week midlife mindful drinking reset. So if you do want to dive deeper into some of the topics that are specific to those of us changing the way that we drink in midlife, I highly recommend you go and check it out. There are, of course, links in the show notes for you. That is it for this week. I will catch you next time, and until then, cheers to a life less intoxicated.