how to step into your power as a woman [without abandoning yourself]

this episode is about stepping into your power as a woman- not in the internet “high value” sense, but in the deeply grounded, self-led way that actually changes your life.

we're talking about identity alignment, why fear isn’t intuition, how cheap dopamine keeps us disconnected from our power, and why true self-love sometimes looks like responsibility instead of softness. inspired by conversations, podcasts, and ideas that shaped this episode, this is an invitation to close the gap between who you are now and who you know you’re becoming.

this episode is for anyone who feels ready to stop negotiating with fear- and start choosing alignment, self-trust, and embodied power. it's time to step into your power.

connect with julia on instagram @beautybyjulia + tik tok @juliasalvia

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Transcript

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There is a version of you that already has the life that you want, and the only thing standing in between this version of you and that version of you is you, in addition to a few mindset shifts that you may have not heard of before to get you there. Welcome back to the Self-Love Archives podcast. I am your host, Julia Salvia, also known as your self-love bestie, and I am super excited for today's episode because we are talking about stepping into your power. It's not that manifestation is failing. You simply put, you are just being asked to step into your power to become someone else, but it's uncomfortable. The only way to become this person is no longer negotiating, no longer being distracted, and no longer abandoning yourself. Things like quick dopamine, like scrolling on your phone or listening and believing what some bully says to you. There are five different parts to stepping in your power, and in this episode I'm going to give you all five so that you can do so ASAP and start becoming the person that you have always meant to be. By the end of this episode, you are going to choose peace over proving action over fantasy self-trust, over self-doubt, and alignment over comfort. Let's get into it. You cannot live. The identity of your future self. If your present habits don't match those of the future, you, you're currently in an identity mismatch, and we need to shift that into identity alignment. Who is this person that you are trying to become? What does she look like? What does she wear? How does she talk? How does she act? Who does she hang out with? Who surrounds her? Now ask yourself. What is your day to day? What are your routines? Who do the people that surround you? What does that look like now? And where do these identities mismatch? Where do these identities not align? It's not about forcing yourself to become a completely different person. It's not about forcing yourself to change. It's not about forcing yourself to leave all that you are behind. I'm not asking you to erase everything that you are. This isn't about forcing yourself to do anything. This is about asking yourself this question. Are you going to respect your future self enough to start acting like her? So you visualize who this future version of you is. And you can visualize all you want. You can create a vision board. You can start seeing her when you meditate. You can start talking about who she is, what she looks like, all of these things. But visualizing isn't going to get you to be her. It's going to create clarity in the blurred lines that you may have had before for the version that you are today and the version of the person that you wanna be. In order to mesh those two together, who you are today and who you wanna be, you need to do something about it. You need to create the change, create the changes, do the things that you need to do to get to be that person. Staying comfortable isn't kind to yourself. If it keeps you stuck exactly where you are. Without any of the action. It just becomes self betrayal. It just becomes this fantasy that you're not actually bringing to life. Because in order for it to be a dream to reality, you have to actually bring it to life. You have to do the things, do the steps, do the hard work. So I want you to ask yourself this one question so that you can start becoming her today. What would the version of you that you admire do today? What would she do today? Where would she go? What would she say? What would your habits look like? What would your routines look like? What time would you go to bed? What would you eat for dinner? Do one actionable thing today that brings you closer to that version of yourself. Listen to me loud and clear when I say this. Second one, fear is not intuition and it does not have the permission to drive the car. We've talked about this in past podcast episodes. Fear is loud. Fear is vague. Fear is like catastrophic. Fear is like the world is ending. It is. It is anxiety. It is all over the place. It is overwhelming. It is crazy. Fear. Is not intuition. Your intuition is always calm. It's always calm, cool, collected. Intuition is specific and it is grounded. And when you can tell the difference between fear and intuition, you start to understand who is actually the driving force of your life. What is actually the driving force of your life? Fear doesn't get to sit in the driver's seat. It doesn't even get to sit in the passenger seat of your car that you are driving. It gets to sit in the trunk and you get to remind it. Remind yourself that fear is only trying to protect you. Intuition is trusting in yourself. It's trusting that you know where to make the left or the right turn, and when to go straight and when to reverse, where to drive the car. I want you to get specific with your fears. Write them down. Everything that comes up this week, that is scary. Write it down. Get your fears out on paper. Call them out by name. When you start to examine what your fears are, what you are scared of, they start to dissipate. They start to seem smaller. It's kind of like when you wake up from a nightmare and you start to say the nightmare out loud, and you're like, oh. That's, that's not, that's actually really not that scary. Our fears can feel so real, and they are, they are. This is your body's way of protecting you. Your body wants to keep you comfortable, your body wants to keep you away from change. But when you have intuition by your side, you're able to make changes and make decisions that are based in groundedness and that are based in self-trust. And number three. Understanding self abandonment and cheap dopamine. There's this neuroscientist named Emily McDonald. She was on Jay Shetty's podcast called On Purpose and really amazing episode where she goes into a lot of the things that are stopping us from becoming our higher selves, and one of those things is dopamine. Dopamine does not care. About your goals. It's like scrolling. Constant stimulation keeps you disconnected from your power. If you are constantly scrolling on social media. If you are constantly being a part of conversations that don't fill you or taking up time with people who don't add to your life, or you are going on shopping sprees all the time, buying this here, buying that there, or eating to just fill a void, all of these can be seen as cheap dopamine. Just ways to feel as though you are filling. I have air quotes going, feel as though you are filling your cup when in actuality there are little things that are going to keep you happy in the moment right now, but not sustain yourself, your power, your happiness as you move forward. They feel good right now in this moment. But the more cheap dopamine you keep feeding yourself with, the less you are going to have any of the sustainable habits, routines. Knowledge, happiness, the less you are going to have room for all of these sustainable practices. Being aware of when you are trying to fuel yourself with this cheap dopamine allows for self-awareness and when you can have this self-awareness, you can then discern. What is cheap dopamine when you are just trying to avoid something that you're procrastinating on a big project that maybe you've been struggling to work on, something that you have put off for so long. There's actually this Instagram, I think it's TikTok or Instagram account of this girl who literally talks about the things that she procrastinates on and decides in these videos that she's gonna do them. And then tell you how long it takes, for example, like cleaning a drawer in her kitchen or making a doctor's appointment that she's been procrastinating on doing. And she times how long each of them take. And I'm telling you when I tell you that all of them take. A fraction of the amount of time rather than procrastinating on it for three weeks. Consuming motivation does not make you motivated. The peace and the power that you are looking for comes from actually completing things. It comes from being self-aware and then going ahead and completing the things that you are procrastinating on or avoiding. Number four. This one was really interesting at first thought. At first, listen, listening ear, you're gonna think, what does it even mean? Hear me out. Power is subtractive, not additive. When we think about living in our power, stepping into our power, being in our power and what that looks like, it doesn't mean that we need to do more. Or have more time. It doesn't mean that we need to work hard and put in more effort. What it means is that you need to let go of the identity that doesn't align with you. If you continue to stay small and continue to be who you are now in this moment and be all the things that don't align with the person that you truly wanna become, it's just a constant state of self betrayal. You're constantly betraying yourself every time you make a choice that doesn't align with this person that you wanna become, and you have to ask yourself why you keep betraying yourself, why you keep making choices that don't align with this person, with this person that you want to be. You're worth. And your deservingness is not up for debate. It's not a question. Your worthiness is not a question anymore. There's this balance between honoring your capacity and knowing your worth, and knowing that you don't need to prove your worth. If you can see your potential clear as day, ignoring it isn't humility, it's avoidance, and you need to stop avoiding the person that you wanna be. If you truly want to be her, you need to stop abandoning yourself. Stop avoiding the things that you need to change and the things that you need to do, and you need to do them. And finally, number five, we are embodying power. Power isn't about being better than anyone. Power isn't about. Picking up your life and completely redoing it over. It isn't about changing every single aspect of yourself. Power is about how you move. Power is about the choices that you make. If you embody this power that you already and have always had, you'll be more grounded, more regulated, more self-led. There will be more clarity. In your life, in your decisions, in your choices, you will have more self love. Some of the traits of embodying this power is pausing before you respond. Not overexplaining, not telling someone why you made this choice or why you did that. You're keeping your boundaries. Let people experience their own consequences. You're choosing peace over performance. Being in your power doesn't have to be loud. To be powerful, to be real. I don't want you to play small anymore. I don't want you to do what people think you should do or what you think people want you to do. I don't want you living in a life of ease because it's comfortable. I want you to step into this power that you've already had, this power that already lives inside of you. That higher self that you keep picturing that vision of this person that you know you are, I want you to be her. I want you to stop visualizing her and start being her today, tomorrow, the next day, the next day. And please remember, that doesn't mean that you are letting go of being kind to yourself. That doesn't mean you are going cold Turkey today. That doesn't mean that you are uprooting your life and throwing everything that you are today in the garbage. What that means is to start making small, consistent choices that are going to lead you to be. Are going to lead you into stepping into your power. You step into your power by taking small steps towards this visualization of this person that you know you are and you wanna be. I believe in you. I need you to believe in you, and I need you to start today. I need you to be so incredibly. Delusional, so incredibly self trusting. I need you to be so incredibly self-led, self-aware, full of self love. I need you to stand fully in your power to understand exactly what that is. Thank you so much for tuning into this week's podcast episode, and I cannot wait. To hear your stories, see you in your power, in your glory, and your glow in the next upcoming weeks. Please do not ever forget your worth and how deserving of the entire world you are. I love you and I will see you back here next week at 12 o'clock Eastern Time. Bye friends.