your life won't change until you do: getting out of your comfort zone

when was the last time you did something genuinely cool- not productive, not responsible, just cool? 🤍

this week on the self love archives, we're talking about getting out of your comfort zone and doing the things that make your inner child go, "wait, we get to do that?"

here's the truth i keep coming back to: staying in your comfort zone is what keeps you small. comfort feels safe, but comfort is also a ceiling and when you let comfort decide how high you can go, you're really letting fear design your whole life. i don't want that for you, and your inner child definitely doesn't either.

in this episode i'm sharing how i've been building up to my first-ever solo trip by taking myself on monthly solo dates, the simple "what if it goes right?" reframe that quiets the fear, and why the smallest brave thing- a new coffee shop, a conference, complimenting a stranger- still counts. i also get personal about my upcoming solo trip to montana and why it means more to me than i can put into words.
this is your permission slip to do the thing. let's make it a self-love summer. 🌸

📖 join our free self love book club on the fable app, where our June read is Untamed by Glennon Doyle  

✨ new episodes every Sunday at 12PM ET. i love you and that inner child in you to the moon and back.

connect with julia on instagram @beautybyjulia + tik tok @juliasalvia

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Transcript

0:00

When was the last time you did something genuinely cool? Not productive, not responsible. I'm talking cool. Like, your younger self would look at this and be like, "We get to do that? This is so cool." That is the energy that we have for the month of June. We are impressing our inner child. We talked all about our theme for the month in last week's episode, so make sure to give that a listen. But today, we are talking about getting out of your comfort zone and doing cool things because they are fucking cool. Things that your inner child would look at and be like, "We get to do that? That's incredible. What do you mean we went there? What do you mean we have this? What do you mean this is my life?" That is what we're talking about in today's episode. Welcome back to the Self Love Archives podcast. I am your host and your self-love bestie, Julia Salvia. I'm so happy that you are here, and I'm so happy that you are joining us in a month of impressing our inner child. That girl inside of you, that inner child inside of you. Everything that she has dreamt of, everything that she has fantasized about, everything that she wanted so badly, you are in a position to give it to her now. You are probably in a position right now where you are already doing things that would completely impress the five-year-old you, the eight-year-old you, the 12-year-old you, the 18-year-old you, the 21-year-old you We are impressing our inner child, but how do we do that if we aren't getting out of our comfort zone? You see, staying in your comfort zone is what is keeping you small. Staying in your little corner, keeping to yourself, not going outside of the box, and not saying what you wanna say, not being true to yourself. You are keeping yourself small by staying in your comfort zone. I have so many goals, plans, and dreams, okay? And if I sit here and think about some of the things that I have done just in this year alone, even years prior, I could so picture my younger self, whether it's a younger, younger, like, little version of me, or if it's just a version of me five years ago, saying, like, "We get to do that? Like, that's so sick. What do you mean we get to do that? What do you mean you did that? What do you mean you went here and you tried that, and you met this person, and you're friends with that person, and you got to work with this brand?" Like, I could so picture her freaking out over so many things that I have done. Take a second, and I want you to think about all of the cool things that you have done in your life, even if they're small. Even if they're not that big, even if they're small, those really matter, too. One of my biggest goals this year is to take myself on a solo trip. So as I'm kind of building myself up to this solo trip, I have been taking myself out on solo dates, and it's been something… Taking myself on solo dates has been something that I have done for a while to just kind of spend time by myself, but to learn how to enjoy being alone and learn how to enjoy myself. I mean, you are in a relationship with yourself for the rest of your life. I think we should enjoy the r- the person that we are, and by doing that, you need to take yourself on a date. You need to date yourself. So doing that, or trying, I've been trying, to take myself on a solo date every single month, has been so rewarding and so fun, but I get to choose whatever I want. It could be as chill as I want it to be, but it could also be as cool as I want it to be. Like, what do you mean I'm gonna go on a solo trip to Montana? What? Like, that is so cool. That is so amazing. And look, it doesn't have to be this big thing, right? It does not have to be a trip to Montana. It could be as simple as going around the corner to try, like, a, a coffee shop that you've been wanting to try, or maybe it's a smaller trip, or maybe it's going to a conference that you have been wanting to go to for a while. Maybe it's actually walking up to somebody and, and telling them that you absolutely love their outfit, which, listen, that can be so nerve-wracking, but also… Because you never know how someone's gonna respond, right? Next thing you know, this person is, like, turning around and being like,"What'd you say?" It's… Like, trust me, I think about it, too. I overthink it, too. But what if it goes well? What if it goes right? What if it is such a positive interaction? What if all of these things that you were thinking are gonna go wrong, are gonna go downhill, what if it doesn't? What if it just goes so incredibly well? What if you make a new friend? What if you meet a new person? What if you find your new favorite place? What if you find something that brings you the absolute most joy in the entire world? And what if that snowballs into something even better? What if? Ask yourself, "What if?" And look at it from a positive light. The comfortable version of yourself, or in my case, myself, would have not chosen to do so many things. I wouldn't have taken psychic classes. I wouldn't have joined the low-impact gym that I go to. I wouldn't have traveled to this place. I wouldn't have gone to Nashville. I wouldn't have even thought about going to Montana by myself. I wouldn't have gone and done all of these really cool things. And the version of you that would have decided to not do the thing, no matter how big or small, the version of you that would've stayed comfortable would have missed out on the opportunity to experience all of this And how sad is that? That sounds really sad. That sounds like the opposite of the song,"Life is worth living." Like, I think every time I think about something I'm so grateful for or, like, something that is so cool, like, I think of that Justin… It's a Justin Bieber song, right? Life is worth living. Like, just close your eyes, picture yourself doing something incredible, something really cool, and sing that song. Life is worth living. And I think that that right there is exactly what I mean. That's exactly what I mean. Something interesting about comfort. Comfort feels safe, and you'd think that comfort is a, is a good thing, and I think in some ways it is, but comfort is not just safe. Comfort is also a ceiling. And who's to say what your ceiling is? Because if you are allowing for comfort to choose what your ceiling is, you are allowing fear to design the room for you. You are allowing fear to say,"This is how high you can jump, and you cannot go any further. This is how high you can climb, and you cannot go any further." And that's just not true. That's not actually the life that you want. The life that fear has designed for you is not the life that you want. It's not the life that you actually wanna manifest. It's not cool. It's not, it's not the things that you're gonna look back and say, "Oh, that was so cool." Your comfort zone is not that. We need to go beyond that. If your comfort zone is the ceiling and fear is setting that comfort zone for you, we need to go beyond that to have these cool, amazing, life-altering experiences. As I said before, this is your permission slip to do the thing, but it doesn't have to be a dramatic thing. It could be as simple as going somewhere new, starting a conversation with a stranger, or it could be as big as taking yourself on a solo trip. It doesn't have to be something dramatic, especially if something… If going on a solo trip is really big for you, maybe starting from a smaller point is exactly what you need to get out of your comfort zone, to get more comfortable with getting out of your comfort zone. Like for example, for me, I, I don't think that going on a solo trip is really that… It's big. It's not not big for me. It's, it's big, 'cause I really have not gone on a dedicated… I don't think I've ever gone on a dedicated solo trip where I've gone for no other reason other than to go on a trip for myself. And I think this one makes it a little more scary. Um, I've definitely talked to you guys about this before. There's a really big connection between Montana and my dad. My dad passed away, uh, back in 2022, and he always made this joke, he's gonna retire and he was going to move to Montana, live on a farm, have a bunch of horses. And what connects me with my dad and Montana is that I didn't realize it, but every time I would go to, like, my, my place, my meditation place, the place that I go to when I'm connecting with my intuition, I go to this really beautiful, giant wildflower field. There's a little bit of water, like, in the distance. There's mountains. It's just a beautiful, beautiful, like, 65, 70-ish degree weather day. And It's just such a wonderful place. And when my dad had passed away, I talked to a medium who is also one of my friends, Kathleen Ives. She actually wrote the book Seven Ways to Live in Joy Today. We read it back in, uh, April for our April book club book of the month. So we have a podcast with her. We actually have two podcasts with her, if you wanna check them out. Um, one before she wrote her book, when I think she mentioned talking about… She, like, talked about writing her book, which was really cool. Um, and then we did a podcast with her about the book. But I met with her right after my dad had died, and it was very coincidental that we even were connecting in that mediumship-type way, because she wasn't reading like that just yet. So when she had shared with me this description of this place, I was like… This place that my dad was in, I was like, "Why are you describing the place that I go to when I meditate, when I connect with myself?" And that was just, like, so interesting. And then as I did a little bit more research, saw a little bit more about stuff in regards to, like, Montana, and actually saw what Montana looked like, I was like, "You're joking. You're joking." The place that I picture when I am in my meditation, my intuitive space, is Montana, which is also the place that my dad is at, and which is also the place that I'm going on for my solo trip. I could, like, cry thinking about it. It's just, like, so incredibly aligned. But, so this trip is so much more than just, like, me going on my very first, like, solo-solo trip. I think that it's also going to, going to be, like, incredibly healing. Wow. In, like, more ways than one. Um, and honestly, I barely can talk about it because I get emotional like this. It's so… Ugh, it's crazy. So I'm doing this really fucking cool thing that I'm just, like, so grateful that I'm able to do. But also I'm, I'm nervous because I know that it's going to be so incredibly healing and, and deeply connective. Um, and I'm just so interested to see, like, what comes out of it and how… Who I am when I come out of it. So all that to say, like, it doesn't have to be a big thing like that. But it can be a big thing like that. You can build yourself up to that big, cool fucking thing that you wanna do. Because- You just, you, you can. So it's kind of like how I've been taking myself out on more solo dates. I've been almost, like, practicing, like, leading up to this big moment that I'm going to experience this year in my life. I think our inner child, she dreamed so big, and she was so impressed with the world and what the world had to offer. She was so hopeful. She wanted to be cool. She wanted to be impressive. She wanted to be happy and excited. And, like, I really think that so much of our inner child just wanted to grow up and, like, we were all just so excited to grow up and live and exist in this life because we thought it was so cool to be an adult. And of course, now we are an adult, and we see the realities of being an adult, and I think sometimes we lose that inner child spark that we had in us. That's why we're taking everything from the month of May, all of that whimsical, all of that whimsy, and bringing it into June with us, but actually actively bringing it into our reality beyond just the cutesy little things. We are doing all of the cool fucking things. We are taking action and doing the things that we have always wanted to do, that we have always dreamt about doing. The really beautiful thing is that now that you are an adult, you have the power and the ability to give your inner child everything that she ever wanted, everything that she ever dreamed of. Getting out of your comfort zone isn't just growth. It is literally taking you back to that girl, taking you back to who you are at your core before society got loud, all of these opinions got loud, before social media got you locked in a forever never-ending scroll, before you had opinions from people who really, fuck them, first of all, before you had this grueling job and this tiring life, before you got so enveloped by the realities, unfortunately, s- of, of our world, before you got sucked into all of that. That is exactly what this girl wanted. That is exactly what she dreamed of. And sometimes it really is just the m- the most simple things Have you ever seen a child look at something with pure joy? That is, like, the most simple, basic thing in the entire world, but they are so mesmerized by it. They are so in love with it. They find the whimsy and the joy in these things. I'll give you an example,'cause I love this one. When you go to a grocery store… Have you ever gone to a grocery store? I hope so. If not, what are you doing? How are you not… How have you not been in a grocery store? Have you ever gone to a grocery store, go over to the produce section, and they have the little, like, rain showers that keep all of, like, more so, like, the green, leafy, uh, vegetables wet, right? Have you ever been to a grocery store, though, that does that, that also flickers the lights and plays a little thunder sound while it's showering the leafy green vegetables? That right there is the most pure… When I saw that for the first time, that was the most pure joy I ever had, I think, in my entire life. And I felt like a kid in that moment. I felt like my inner child was just finding joy in this small, little thing, and I was just like, "That is so cool. Who thought to do that? That is so cool." Every time you do something that gets you a little out of your comfort zone, every time you do something that scares you, you are impressing that little girl inside of you that has dreamt of the world, that has been so excited to become an adult, to live in this life, and to experience everything that there is to experience. Your inner child, she has always believed in you. You just need to search for her again, to see her. Maybe that takes sitting and, and meditating, and picturing yourself sitting down and having a conversation with your, your little self. Whether that is a little, little part of you, or maybe it's a part of you where you did dream big, and you had all of these hopes, and nothing could stop you. Sit down, meditate with her, talk to her, and I bet you that that conversation is going to change your life, and you are going to feel so much more inclined to not just slowly get out of your comfort zone with these small things. You are going to do big fucking cool things And you are going to impress your inner child like no other. You are going to impress yourself like you never have in your entire life. All it takes is just deciding to do one cool fucking thing. Thank you so much for tuning into this week's episode on The Self Love Archives podcast. I'm so grateful that you are here, and I am so grateful that you've made it to the end of this episode, and that you are hearing me tell you once again to do fucking cool things this week. Do cool things. Get out of your comfort zone. And I'm truly, truly so proud of you right now in this moment for even thinking about going to do it, because that is the first step. Being self-aware, thinking about it, and making the appointment, and taking the first step, like, that is amazing, and I'm so proud of you for that already. And if you haven't just yet, go ahead and do it. Get something onto your schedule this week or next week and do something fucking cool. I love you, and I will see you back here same time next week, Sunday, 12 o'clock Eastern Time, and I cannot wait to hear all about the cool fucking things you are doing in your life. Make sure to email us, leave us a comment, tell me what is going on and what you plan on doing, what all of your goals are, and what your inner child, that little girl in you, is pushing you to do right now in this moment. I love you. Bye.