Dolly In My Pocket 02: Change the Rules: From Resistance to Reward

Welcome back to Dolly in My Pocket — a short solo series from The extra-Ordinary Leader podcast, created to give you practical, mindset-shifting reflections that fit into even the busiest week.

In this episode, I talk about something I call changing the rules — and no, not the legal ones. I’m talking about the unconscious, unspoken rules we live by without even realising. Things like “I should always be nice”, “I can’t interrupt”, “This is just the way I am” — all the fixed ideas that silently dictate how we behave, lead, communicate, and show up.

I share a story about learning to play rugby for the first time (spoiler: I didn’t love it at first!) — and what that experience taught me about resistance, fixed mindsets, and how our “rules” can hold us back from something better.

If you’ve ever rolled your eyes at a new idea or written something off before giving it a chance, this one’s for you.

And if you're new to the podcast, The extra-Ordinary Leader is all about what it takes to lead with more clarity, energy, and purpose — whether in business, at home, or in yourself. Browse the back catalogue and take what you need.

Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome back — and why today’s about “changing the rules”
• 0:30 Conscious vs. unconscious rules in life and leadership
• 1:00 The internal “shoulds” that run the show
• 1:40 A personal story: learning to play rugby (badly!)
• 2:40 Resistance and the fixed mindset trap
• 3:30 Where we reject ideas that don’t fit our ordinary
• 4:00 A challenge: where do you roll your eyes or say “that’ll never work”?
• 4:40 Rethinking communication — and what you might need to borrow
• 5:30 Closing invitation: challenge your rules, unlock something bigger