As Men Thinketh
James has conversations with people in his life, on how to be better, what they are doing. And different random things.
As Men Thinketh
#3 Christopher Nielsen: From Upbringing to Fatherhood: Instilling Work Ethics and Building the Future.
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Ever looked back at your upbringing and wondered how it shaped you into the person you are today? Join us as we navigate through the lanes of our childhood memories and share how our journey from mowing lawns to cleaning houses has instilled in us a commendable work ethic, one we owe to our parents and their unwavering commitment to responsibility and independence.
Fatherhood, ah, a joyous yet challenging ride. How often have you pondered on the significance of your role as a father? We share our experiences of this wonderful journey, discussing the complexities of setting the right example, the pleasures of quality time, and the profound impact we have as the first male figures in our children's lives. We also take you through the adventures of our own fatherhood, including heartwarming games of "Parents" and the invaluable lessons these moments have taught us about responsibility and giving back.
Finally, we dive into our exciting plans for Pleasant View Farms and our vision to create a custom butcher shop. As we tread this path, we underscore the importance of building strong relationships, the joy of aiding friends in their success, and the concept of a rising tide lifting all boats. It's a journey we are eager to embark on, so tune in with us. And enjoy the show!
Perceptions of Childhood and Work Ethic
Speaker 1I don't feel like I ever was that victim , like growing up like I had that mentality , that victimhood mentality , like I remember being mad at the parents , yeah , and being like , oh , I'm mad at you . I remember throwing soup cans in a backpack and walking out and like getting to the top of the circle and being like , yeah , this is pretty stupid , you gotta turn around , go back that eight of a mile it just changes your mind .
Speaker 3Oh , man walking is hard .
Speaker 1Go back in the house , put everything back where it belongs and hope nobody sees you so they don't ask what you were doing , so you don't have to look so stupid . I really didn't have a problem growing up . I look at my childhood like I'll talk to people and it's strange to me because I'll talk to some of the siblings in the family and they talk about the trauma that they had grown up and it's like I never felt like I had any . You know , I actually have mostly admiration for my parents . That's it Like . I got admiration for mom . I got respect for mom . I have respect for Rachel . I have respect for my dad . I don't understand . I know some of the other kids were gonna totally disagree with me . I don't understand because I was spanked with the fly swatter , same as you guys .
Speaker 1Oh yeah , I've been in houses with Rachel and I did it for three years and it was a pain in the ass . I'm super grateful for it . Yeah , because it taught me how to clean . It developed a work ethic in me because of my moms . I almost popped my discrepancy with me on that , but I almost 100% give that work ethic that has been instilled in me . I see it in you , andy , I see it in you . I mean you're running a farm . I go , man , that's got it . I feel like that comes from my mom and Rachel . I mean they kick butt grown up and it would be so dang hard . I don't know , I have nothing , but then I've always had a pretty good relationship with them , I think with parents . I know some of the other kids haven't , but I think I have . I can go home and sit and drink coffee with them .
Speaker 2Yeah , I think it's a little bit harder for me . I mean , I haven't worked for a pop as long as you have , because you've been working for pop for 13 years .
Speaker 1Yeah , it's like 13 or 14 years .
Speaker 2I haven't really dealt with them as much of that trauma that the other siblings talk about . I guess my work ethic . I mean I remember cleaning houses with my mom for years and years and you would get she gave me Sonic and 10 bucks .
Speaker 1Freaking Carl's Jr .
Speaker 2Carl's Jr In and out burgers , sometimes depending . So I was like you got the meal and you got $10 . I mean , 10 bucks was a lot back then . And then I guess kind of what started my whole working experience was just mowing for Uncle Sam . Once I started doing that I was like man , money's great , I can buy things , I can go and get this and that and I don't have to ask my mom for money . And then she says yeah , no .
Speaker 1Yeah , because they didn't have any money . They didn't have a penny to their name . I mean , I remember them bringing stuff in and it's like DI oh , this person gave us this stuff .
Finding Joy in Supporting Friends
Speaker 1Your mom constantly was it JCPenney looking through clearance deals and I think that's more of her joy .
Speaker 2Yeah , I think she just likes doing that .
Speaker 1It was like I got these pants and it turned into the prices right at home around the dinner table . It was like and here we have these pants , what did I pay for them ? Retail on these are $35 . You're like don't know . She's like before the coupon or after the coupon . Before the coupon they were $8 . I did a double coupon transfer and I got them for $0.55 . Usually I walk out of there and they pay me $40 to take a cart .
Speaker 2They were pretty talented at getting stuff for a good deal and for free .
Speaker 3You wonder why I like to get stuff for free .
Speaker 1Because you're cheap .
Speaker 3Well , also Well , there's a joy when it comes getting something for free . I don't know . I like to think of it as a DIY mentality .
Speaker 2I think . I'm just cheap . I don't know Something on the free . I'm like no , I got to give somebody something for it . I can't do free stuff .
Speaker 1Is that a DIY or an dy mentality Right .
Speaker 3No , to be honest , I am trying to get out of that mindset a lot and the mindset for paying people to do something for me , to do it work for me .
Speaker 1Yeah , I actually enjoy paying people to do work for me if they're my friends , you build a relationship with somebody . You have Frank up here doing mechanics . I like hiring him because he's my buddy . Yeah , he gives you a better deal than like burp brothers with double the quality , but he's also my friends . Why would I not want my friends to succeed ? Why would I want my friends to come work on my house , work on my vehicles , mow my yard , work in my shop or do anything and say , yeah , I just want to steal your time from your family and I don't want to pay you . I get it if you can't . You know , sometimes people want to come over , they want to help you out . Yeah , and maybe you don't have the financial ability to pay them , I get that and I enjoy giving my time to people . That's something I genuinely enjoy and I don't require not going to be like I'm going to come over and help on your house and I want to get paid the X amount of money , because there's a joy in helping people . I don't like being required . I don't like people to call me up and be like , hey , you need to be here on Saturday and you need to do it for free . It's like no , you know , but I do enjoy helping people and people come over and they help me . We're sitting in my basement and I get . I've gotten a lot of help for this and I'm and I am truly grateful for it . Some of the people I've paid to do work on it some of them I haven't , some of them I've traded work on him as a , as a mutual benefit , to try to build both of us up . Like you know . Call Gary Martin . They come do plumbing and then I'm going to trade them for countertops . It's what I do and it's a good deal for both of us .
Speaker 1This idea of trying to help your friends succeed only can help you . I don't see how that's a downside . I don't see how paying your friends , doing things for them and improving yourself , is not going to help anybody else . Does that make sense ? Like I don't want to steal from you and steal your time and steal your resources so I can raise me . I would rather pay everybody and have everybody raising in that boat like that rising tide you know raises all boats type of mentality
Building Relationships and Helping Others
Speaker 1. I need to figure out how to get successful myself , for sure , but I don't want to be stealing from my friends and walking on them so I can make more money . What's the point of having money if you don't have people to share it with ? I think relationships are far more important than the money they may be . The most important thing is the human interaction and relationships . So I want to like help people . That's what I would prefer to do , and the best way that I can see to help somebody else is to figure my crap out for me . Am I making sense ?
Speaker 2Oh yeah , yeah , I mean it's with the whole building the house . You know , getting my house all done and finished it's hard because the finances were tight I mean like actually really tight and in the end we got done with the whole thing and there was so much free labor and I can't help but feel so blessed that so many people showed up and helped . You know , it was like every weekend there were people there and people were willing to give their time and I would have loved and if I had enough finances and means to do it , I would have loved to pay every single person who helped , every person who came and donated their time because they were willing to just say , yeah , we're going to give up our Saturday and we're going to take off . You know , part of the next week , where we'd normally be working and making money , we're going to come help you get this house done . I mean , I totally get what you're saying .
Speaker 2I want to be able to build other people up and I mean , depending on what your financial means are , you know I was building right in the middle of when prices of everything were through the roof , and so it's . You know it's harder . It's hard to have everything 100% to where you can say , oh yeah , we got tons of excess . How about I just help pay , you know , just pay you for coming and donating your time , because I don't want to steal anybody's time , you know for helping me . But I sure appreciated all the help that I did end up getting from everyone .
Speaker 1Yeah , I can see that and I get your point . I look at it from me and I go . My responsibility then comes to a point to say I've got to increase who I am enough that I can then help these people , right , because you look at how much work you got on your house and your responsibility isn't to say , sweet , I got this done . Oh , how Louie . I'm so glad that people came over and donated their time , because I didn't have money to do it . Now I'm going to shelter myself in a box and I don't want to answer any of their phone calls and I don't want to do anything for anybody else . I got my house , I'm set Right , yep , and it's . It's got to be something more like somebody helped me and I've been given a ton and now it's my responsibility to cherish that , to take care of that and to increase myself in whatever ways that I can to bless those people also .
Speaker 1Well , I look at it the same as , like the 10 commandments , honor your father and their mother . I look at it from that point of you shouldn't just honor your immediate father and mother , but their father and mother and their father and mother and their father and mother , and going back as many generations as they can to our founding fathers . Right , I mean , I'm even further than that , but you should look at what people have done for you in the past and have a little bit of gratitude for it . I mean like , oh , my dad did this . I should have some gratitude . Not saying he's right all the time , not saying that sometimes , not a pain in the butt . We should have a little respect for him because he deserves it . Your mom deserves it , your dad deserves it , grandpa deserves it , your friends deserve it and it's it's I'm going to honor them . And how is the best way to honor my father ? It's got to be something like making myself better than who he was and to let his legacy live through me , because he's letting grandpa live through him and my son will let me live through him .
Speaker 1But that's not possible if I don't increase myself , if I don't , if I don't make myself a better human being . I should be striving to be better than my dad and I pray my son strives to be better than me . If my son turns out to be worse than me , I'm going to feel like I failed 100% . That , to me , is what I look at . I go . I got to have a lot of friends , have a lot of help . I've got to make myself a better human being and maybe then it can help them in in all aspects to where I'm enjoyed , I'm enjoyable to be around , I'm bringing value to the table and bringing value to people's lives . Maybe I have an access of finances to give them , or maybe I can give them my mind and my time or things that I've learned , or access to , you know , my shop , or just something . Somehow I've got to add value and I've got to add value because people depend on me for that . Does that make sense ?
Speaker 3Yeah , I wanted to say before we got too far away from that idea of generosity and giving you two . Both are some of the most generous people I know when it comes to time , when it comes to money , at least towards me , whenever I need something , it's just like the drop of the hat , it's like okay , okay , whatever you need . So , in case anyone doesn't realize or thinks that maybe you're just blowing smoke , it's actually true . What you're trying to do right now , what you're trying to help give , build people up , it's not just words .
Speaker 1Well , something like this podcast . It's more on the selfish side than anything and that's honest . Yeah , I hope . I hope that there's one person out there that listens to one word I say and says that can help me . That makes this all worth it .
Speaker 1Now , with that being said , it is a little bit selfish because it forces me to read , it forces me to prepare , it forces me to keep my mind in a certain area , it forces me to sit down with you , toefer . It forces me to sit down with you , andy , and have good conversations that are filling my mind up with good things . It's good for me because it keeps me in an initial place saying I've got to think about what I'm going to talk about this weekend on the podcast . And there even is a little thing like Ben saying I'm going to hold you accountable . You know I'm going to . Are you waking up early in the morning ? I'm going to make sure that you're doing all this stuff . It's like good . I think you should . I think you should hold me accountable . I'm out there telling everybody get your life together . If I don't put my life together , what's the point of all this ?
Accountability and Fatherhood
Speaker 1Now , with Ben saying that I'm going to hold you accountable ? It's like good , I hope you do , because I'm going to start holding you accountable If you want to call me up and be like , hey , did you get up at 5am ? And be like , yeah , I did . Were you a better dad today ? Were you a better husband today ? Did you call your kids , tell them that you love them ? Did you call your kids and encourage them ? That , to me , is the primary responsibility of a father is to encourage your kids , especially your young boys . My girl I have is not , you know , she's only four or five months old , so she's starting to develop a personality . My boys three what's my job to him ? My job for a father to him is to encourage him and to help him integrate into society so that he can start living life , and then to show him who he needs to be .
Speaker 1If your kids don't turn out good , maybe you should have a good hard look at yourself . And that that statement is going to probably cause some issues with people , because there's a lot of people that we know that have had crappy kids as adults . That's just what's the kids fault . It's kids fault . Yeah , you don't want . It's the kids fault . But maybe you should take a good hard . Look at yourself and say why the hell is my kid a piece of garbage ? Why is he not doing anything with his life ? What did I do ? And maybe you should be a little bit honest . Maybe it's not your fault , but why did your kid go to drug culture ? Why , like , maybe start answering that damn question .
Speaker 1You know it's this excuse saying , well , I don't know why you would not , I don't know why you would . It's like , well , yeah , maybe it's because you never gave your time to him . Maybe it's because the first male in his life that actually gave him a time of day was the guy giving him coke or crack or weed or even alcohol at a young age . Maybe that's because he actually cared about him . A little bit Like to say , you didn't care about him , because I get what it's like to be a dad . You got a thousand things on your plate . You're trying to be a good dad . You're trying to bring in money . You're away from the home . You're trying to be everything to everybody all the time You're supposed to . That's your job . It's like that's what . That's literally your job . You're built , you're built that for that Good Go . How do you do it ? I don't know . It's a balancing act , figure it out , you know , I just I think so much about it , especially when I come home .
Speaker 1Come home and I , I see my son as I pop my head through the , through the slider , and I see this kid take off running to me with the biggest grin that he could possibly even have , as he's just yelling Dad and he jumps in my arms and he wraps his arms around me . The first thought I have is I love this kid so much that one day he's going to grow up . And who am I ? And it's If I don't increase me , if I don't change me . The kid suffers . Is that smile ? That's who suffers and he suffers and his kid suffers and his kid suffers . And his kid suffers because I wouldn't get off my ass and do something .
Speaker 1So , yeah , it's real Japers .
Fatherhood and Role Modeling
Speaker 1It's the thoughts I have every time I see my kids . The thoughts I have when I see my wife laying there snuggled up with my baby girl at night . It's thoughts I have when , when I see Logan run around playing , when he's in the , when he's asleep , when he's in the tub , when he wants to sit down and play with me , and I go , I cannot believe that I'm this lucky and I also can't believe the responsibility that is on my shoulders . And then you sure can , are you push it off ? Or this kid ? This life , it's like more potential than I have tied into a little bundle of joy , and all he wants is your time . All he wants is you .
Speaker 2Yeah , I noticed that a lot with my little girl . I mean , the moment I walk into the house and thankfully I got the blessing of working , you know , within I mean and I , my literal neighbor , is the farm and that's why I work and I get to come home for lunch , you know , and I get to be home for dinner , which a lot of people have to sacrifice that having having kids and being able to come home and see him . I mean , when I walk through that door , whatever she's doing , she's dropping it and she's just running as fast as she can to give me the biggest hug in the world and I'm her hero . You know , and I think a lot of the same things that you're talking about is , if I'm her hero , am I doing the things that should warrant that I'm actually a hero ? Am I , am I living life the way that I want to be my son's role model , that he wants to look at me and say I want to be just like you when I get older ? Do I show my daughter exactly how a man should treat her ? You know , she's looking at me to be her , like I've said , her hero and I mean , I think about that .
Speaker 2It's every day , every day , when I walk in the door I'm just like man . I got to be the best that I can be because I am , I'm . I'm everything to her and I am her example and I'm showing her how how a father should be and how a man . You know the way I treat my wife and I'm showing her how a husband should treat their wife and that . And she takes that and you know . I want her to say dad loves mom and they are so in love and they're always kind to each other . I want her to take from that and learn from that and say I know exactly how a husband should be , a father should be , because I saw it in my dad and my dad was the best example that I have ever seen . I think about that , I mean , every single day .
Speaker 1Yeah , even as before you got here , I was thinking of different questions I'd ask you , and you already , you you put one of them in there because the one that I was asking it or I was thinking was would I want my son to be me , honestly me , because I know who I am , with all my insecurities , with all my flaws , with all my sins , with all my everything . Would I want him to be me ? And it puts it in this realm of saying no , well , for one , I want him to be better than me . But how could he possibly learn to be better than me If I'm the guy he's looking at saying , oh , I want , I want to be just like dad Logan .
Speaker 1So through the week , logan loves playing this game . He calls it parents . He plays it with my wife all the time , almost so much that drives are crazy , because it'll always be like Mom , can we play parents , mom , let's play parents . And she's like yeah , sure . And what he does is he goes okay , I'm mom . Or he'll say I'm dad and he goes you're the baby . So then you have to act like a baby . He's the funniest thing to me the other
The Importance of Parenthood
Speaker 1day . He . He goes dad , you're the baby , I'm the mom . I'm like okay , I'll be the baby . Well , I start crying . He walks over to me , clubs right up on my lap , gets right in my face , picks his shirt up , but that's it's . That's what he seemed done . He's he . He mimics exactly what I do and exactly what my wife does , and one of the cool things that we get to see is he goes mom , let's play parents . She goes , okay . He goes . You're the mom , I'm the dad . She goes , okay , and he goes what do you need ? My wife's like I don't even realize . We say that to each other , but he picks up on it . He's constantly just watching everything we do and then he gets to relay all the stupid stuff we do . He loves to tease my wife , he loves to tease mom . Why ? Because I tease mom , but no , I love it . I love it when he's just like hey , what do you need ? Because that's what we say to each other all the time . What do you need ? It's just , it's just cool , man , having kids .
Speaker 1You want in life as much responsibility as you possibly can get , because with responsibility comes purpose , and I don't think there's anything else that I want in life as much as purpose , like a good purpose To be here . What's the point of waking up every day ? And is there any more responsibility you could get , having a child and then relying on you ? I don't think so . I think a human life is probably the most important thing that you could have , and then it's under your control , kind of you're there to help have this kid grow and learn , and it's like man . He's going to turn out hopefully better than me , but he's going to learn so much from me . It's a massive amount of first responsibility , but it does . It gives you a good purpose and it gives you a purpose that's worth living for . Have some kids , you know , and then start figuring out how to to raise those kids and changing yourself , making yourself a better human being .
Speaker 2I can't place . Like you know , looking at my life now , and I even say this to my wife what did we do before ? What was our purpose ? You know you talk about , wow , having all this responsibility . It gives you a purpose , yeah , it does . And I think how could I be living , how could I have lived my life without this , you know , without these two little personalities that are just my entire world ? How could you , how could you ? You know what was I doing before ? Well , you don't know what you don't know , and so you're .
Speaker 1You're living life and life . Life does have meaning before . I mean , you're doing things , you're working , you got a job , you're , but everything's about you and there's well . I don't think that you can grow up if you don't have kids . It changes your mind because it's like you got your wife and you get married and all of a sudden there's somebody in your life that is now supposed to be more important than you are . It's like you love them , you love your wife . You're just like man . I would die for you . It's like Chris Pratt , you know , he's like . I think it was Chris Pratt . He's the same .
Speaker 1I got married and I just I love my wife . I would die for her and we had our first baby . I pick her up and I hold her in my arms . He's like . In the second my eyes met hers , I realized I was like I'm not going to die for her . I realized I would push my wife in front of a train .
Speaker 1Not really , honey , it's something you can't know until you try it . It's pretty incredible . I feel lucky and fortunate , no it .
Fatherhood and Parental Responsibility
Speaker 1And then it drives me bananas when I see people and they , they sacrifice their kids . You watch people with with their kids and it's . They're almost non-important anymore . They're almost more of an accessory to what they have . Going on and they're telling me , yeah , they hold me back . I've heard people say that , yeah , my kids hold me back . I'm like what do you mean ? What do you mean they hold you back ? I don't understand that . Never have . It's like what , so you can go travel the world . Traveling is a lot of fun . I've done it , been over in Europe and it's a blast , but it doesn't compare to having little ones . What do you feel like that ? Your primary responsibility is as a father to your kids .
Speaker 2I feel like a role model . I feel like that's one of the biggest is to show them who to be and how to be so that they can be a protective member of society and they can grow up to not go down a path like going to drugs . And I don't want them to waste their life . I want to show them and I want to be , like I have said , a role model . That's one of the biggest responsibilities that I think , because bringing this child into the world , they're relying on you for all that , to learn , shelter over their head and a pillow under their head when they go to sleep and you make sure every whim and need is filled as far as like financial means and stuff like that , I feel like that's not as big of a responsibility because if I did all that and then I said , alright , wife , handle the rest , I did the . I went to work today to pay for the house , to pay for the internet , the food , the AC , you know , the car , all the stuff , the clothes , everything . I pay for all this stuff , you handle the rest . I feel like you need both figures of father and a mother figure in your life , like as far as our dad , I understand he was busy and he was working a lot to supply for our large family . I feel very blessed that I was able to find a father figure just when I needed it , uncle Ben , when I was about 12 , then I was able to . He just called mom and he said hey , I need some help bucking . Hey , this is down Salt Lake , you know .
Speaker 2And I was 12 years old , I'd never driven one thing in my life . And he said hop in the truck , start going . And I'm sitting there and I climb up in there and I'm looking down and I'm like there's two pedals , what do I do with two pedals ? And I'm thinking well , let's press one of them and it should go . So I reached down and I touched the one on the right and the RPMs went all the way up . And he's like what the hell are you doing ? And he opens the door and I'm like , and he's like have you ever driven before ? And I said no . And he's like well , here's how you do it . Press on this . You put it in reverse and I mean I was 12 years old and that's what I needed when I was 12 . You know , and the nice thing is is that I'm not Ben's son and so I don't have all the . He's not my father in the way that I didn't have as much of those judgments as a dad would . But he was able to be that father figure for me and teach me those things when I was , you know , when I needed it at 12 .
Speaker 2And I feel like that's where a lot of my work ethic had come from . I mean , it started out with our moms , you know , because they were the ones who were really all around and we would go house clean with them . But then from there it was a lot of bucking , hey doing a lot of small bales and you know to pretty soon I was running tractors and a pretty soon I was fixing the issues and I just slowly got better and better and he would trust me more than would you know to run . Oh well , hop in this truck and grab this trailer . I'm 14 years old and I'm hauling a trailer fully loaded with hey down the road and hoping the cops wouldn't catch me , even though I'm doing farm stuff and it was probably technically legal in some ways
Lessons in Hard Work and Empowerment
Speaker 2.
Speaker 2But you know , I just was able to do things that I see a lot of younger kids don't get the opportunity to do and I was able to find that I was able to learn oh , this is how to work , this is the things to do to provide and be a man and work hard . And you know , that's where I got my love for work . Was doing that , you know , and I would work all day long . I was 14 , 15 years old , working . I think the most we were doing was 100 and something hour weeks with Uncle Sam building cabinets , and then right after that , every morning and every night , I would change water on the fields when it was time to cut and bail . I was doing cutting and bailing through the night , you know , and I was able to get that responsibility at a very young age to where I was able to build upon that and grow and be better , to where now I'm 22 .
Speaker 2And I'm running this whole farm , I've got a house , I've got a family . I've got all these things that I can look back and say because of this , because of this , you know , because I was able to be taught when I needed it , when I was right at that point in my life when I needed a father figure to come in and say this is how you drive a truck , I'm going to trust you to hop in here . Even after you just pressed on the gas and you had no clue how to drive , I'm going to say this is how you do it , have fun , start driving . And I was so worried he was going to say get the hell out of there , you're never driving again , you know , you know .
Speaker 2And I just was like , oh , I was so scared and but I was able to learn from that and and that's what I want to in learning from that , taking when I can from that , I want to give that to my son and even my daughter . I want to . I want to show Blakelyn this is how you work . I want to show them a good work ethic to where they can go in their life and they can succeed and get better and grow , build a company or be a very good asset to someone else's company and be someone that people can say , wow , there's no way I could live without them . And I want to be the best and that's what I try to live my life to , where I can be the person that you know . My boss says wow , I couldn't live without them . They are more valuable than anybody else I could ever find .
Speaker 1Yeah , shout out , uncle Ben , that's something . That's something that that I he's probably going to super uncomfortable that we're talking about him on the pod , but that is something that he does extremely well is giving somebody something , a job , and then trusting them to do it and then not losing his mind when they mess up . That to a young man is ridiculously valuable . I feel like that you want to make sure that you're treating people that are 12 , 13 , 14 , and your boys how I needed to be treated when I was that age , like you were saying , as somebody who has the potential to improve and somebody who has the potential to actually do something . I got sent to Montevue when I was around that age .
Speaker 1For seven weeks I had Cam putting me in a semi , saying drive this thing . It's like , dude , I could hardly ride a bike and all of a sudden , you're giving me you're giving me a semi pulling a full load of hay . Now , he probably could have done a better job at teaching me how to drive the thing . You need somebody to almost believe in you more than you believe in yourself . Yeah , you can drive this 100% , jumping there and do it . This is so monumental , I don't know what I'm doing . He's like , yeah , I didn't either Figure it out . Well , okay , yeah , ben's pretty good at just making you do crap .
Lessons in Work Ethic and Fatherhood
Speaker 3The other nice thing with Ben was that's when , when you make a big mistake , like , say , running forks through the garage door , let's just say let's just say it's not like he just loses his mind and just be rates and okay , let's solve the problem , let's fix it . It's not the end of the world , we can fix it . Or you break something on a tractor . It's not the end of the world , let's just fix it . Which that's really valuable .
Speaker 2I feel like he's had a lot of people do a lot of mess ups and maybe that's helped him get to that place . But it's very , very good for a 13 , 14 year old boy be at that place when they mess something up and it's like what the hell was that for ? Well , for hell's sake , let's get that figured out . Come on , I'll be there . And the nice thing is is to have somebody who wouldn't ask you to do something . They wouldn't be out doing themself with you . The nice thing is is having a role model . That's like I'm not going to ask you to do anything that I wouldn't do myself , and if I had time to do it , I would definitely do it . But you know you're out in the mud , the cold as hell . To have somebody right there with you , just being your father figure , showing you this is what you do , this is how you do it , it just is very , it's very good and , looking back on it , there's a lot that I can learn to teach my kids .
Speaker 3I wanted to touch on the work ethic . I think it's funny that you guys both got yours from the parents or from the mom moms I feel like mine came from , because growing up I so I just remember being so late and he would . He's getting , he's getting hate that you said that Not to cut you off .
Speaker 1That sounded so bad . It's like you guys got to work ethic from the moms and I got it from pop Cause I'm lazy . No , no , no , no , no , I was lazy .
Speaker 3Well , I was , I was so .
Speaker 1I just didn't want to do anything right .
Speaker 3And he would always talk to me and I can't . I can't remember how many talks we'd had , just countless , countless , almost sermons . But he was like look at your brothers , david , joe and harm James . These guys all have great jobs and people are happy to have them and couldn't even bear to let them go . So what do you want to do ? Do you just want to be that one lazy guy that nobody ever wants to hire ? It's almost a guilt trip Like come on , stop being so lazy .
Speaker 3But it also helped when , when Tulfur start just doing more than I could even imagine and I'm , I'm the odd one out . I felt like the odd one out a lot in certain things in life , especially , especially work . But to to have the example of the boys being hardworking and and to finally figure out what I like to do , which was create and make and build that kind of swear , the work started , the work ethic started . But in a way it was also not to disappoint my dad . It's like okay , let me , let me learn how to work hard so I can , so pop can improve , make sure he's happy . I've always been a bit of a people pleaser . Actually , let's be honest , I'm a huge people pleaser . I like people to be happy with me .
Speaker 1I don't like people just mad at me or Well , I think that's every son's dream is to please his dad . I know that , that was mine . You know it's you're looking toward your , your father's almost a representation of who you could become . Right , it's the guy that's in your house all the time that you're looking at saying I can become that guy . I love . I love the scene of the Lion King Simba's out playing with his friends whatever he's with Pumba Timon , I mean , let's be honest , he's drinking , they're partying , they're having a good time . It's a Kuna Matata . Nothing matters , they have no responsibilities , they have no family , and for him in the Lion King , nala comes over and wakes him up , as women do to men .
Speaker 1We all are 12 , 13 , 14 years old . You start growing up a little bit . You start noticing a girl . She likes you and then all of a sudden , she stops liking you because you're a failure , and you get asked the question man , why does this ? Why does this girl like me anymore ? Right , they're waking you up . Eve did it to Adam at the beginning of all time and they've been doing it ever since . So he wakes him up a little bit and then he gets to go wander around and wonder why she won't come , do a Kuna Matata and sit in the hot tub and drink with him and his buddies . She runs off . She's like I got responsibilities .
Speaker 1And he gets to go wander through the thorns and the weeds and finds Rafiki , which tells him come with me , I want to show you something . He's the wise old elder basically saying hey , I'm going to show you something you didn't know before . He's the favorite scene of the whole movie . He looks into the pond and he sees him and his face transforms to Mufasa , his father . And it is . He sees who he is today and he sees who he could become and who he should become . He sees God I mean I mean grand , and now he comes down from the sky and talks to him like God . But he sees who he could become and he sees himself and he sees all the potential in between .
Speaker 1You know , you're a son , you're looking towards your dad , you're looking towards the man in your life . This is who I want to become , this is who I could become , and it's a responsibility put on our shoulders as fathers . That's what our son's looking at us . Then , who could I become ? What's the possibility ? All the possibilities Well , I'm going to take the one that's right in my house in front of me . That's who I could become , and if you're a schmuck , that's who he's going to become , or that's that's all he's looking at saying that's who I could become .
Speaker 1Yeah , and this guy that yells at his kids or , you know , yells at his wife , this guy that , you know , maybe drinks too much , you know we're living in a trailer because he won't get his act together , yeah , I don't think that I only got my work ethic from my moms . Obviously , I've worked with my dad for 13 , 14 years . I started house cleaning when I was 10 and it was great for me . It was good for me because it taught me a little bit Wordwork projects for this person , just as every young kid needs to have . They need to have some responsibility put on them , to show up at a certain time and put in the work , and it's valuable . That is valuable for me , something I feel like I have .
Speaker 1I feel like the you , andy . You're like I think it's funny that you , growing up , you're like oh , I was so lazy . You are a little less lazy than us , with 15,000 times more potential . I'm an ape that can work . That's about all I can feel I can do . Andy is an eight , eight that can work and sing and create and move and build . It's like I don't have to do countertops man , like that's all I could do . It's the most frustrating thing in the world is listening to you and pop design something .
Speaker 1My dad taught me a lot . He's given me a lot . He's given me a job for a lot of years where I had a fair amount of responsibility . I had to break him down to give me responsibility , because that's not something that he easily relinquishes . He's much better at it now as he's gotten older . When he was younger you know , we all know that it was it was difficult . He didn't , he didn't like to . But he does now , which is good and I like it and it's helpful to some of the younger people .
Speaker 1Mom was great because she required a lot of you at a young age and expected you to do it . That's the way grandma was . That's the way her , her mom was too . It was valuable because you need that . You need somebody saying , hey , do this and I expect you to do it , and then I expect you to finish it and I expect you to come right back . Tried to run away before she said come right back , cause if she didn't say come right back . That means you can finish the project and you're free to go . All I can say is I'm grateful . I'm grateful for the life that pop gave me the house I get it . Raising 18 kids providing for 18 kids would be hard . I think they did a fairly good job . They're not done yet . So a lot , a lot to do .
Speaker 2You know , when I was younger I would feel like , oh man , I could do such a better job . And when you actually have to raise kids and you have to make sure all your bills and all the stuff that goes into it , I think I don't know if I could have done a better job . So I should just be grateful for the job that they did and I hope they did their best .
Speaker 3It is pretty fun being an adult and being out of the house . So when you come back to visit , I'm treated like royalty . It's like , oh , what do we need to get you ? Do we need to do steak for dinner ? I'm like , yeah , I'm just happy as a clam to see you and makes you just want to come back .
Speaker 1Yeah , I'm coming back and visiting , but I'm grateful because I got a fantastic relationship with all of my parents . I have a . I have a relationship with my dad that I would say 95% of the population of the world envies . I don't take it for granted . I talk to him every day . I walk into his office , I sit down and we have a meaningful conversation . But I am tremendously grateful for the life that they gave me and the things that they did for me from the house , the food , the clothing , the life , the ideals , the morals , the character , the things that are good , that I can pass on to my kids . And they're they're good people .
Speaker 1They really are good people .
Speaker 3Well , I mean , I never went hungry , no , but look at you I went hungry because of you . The only time I went hungry is because it's too picky to eat .
Speaker 1You kind of broke the mold of the kids , though , like you , broke the parents down .
Speaker 3You're all welcome . I've been getting guff for that . I'm just embracing them . Man , You're welcome .
Speaker 1You were the first kid , though , that if you wanted something like before you went to bed , you wanted cereal like , you got it . The rest of us it was just like no .
Speaker 3I must have been just too cute , I guess , I don't know , you must have had a special place in mom's heart .
Speaker 1I still do , I think .
Speaker 3I like to say that Maybe not Are you the favorite ?
Speaker 1He's the only mom Q and .
Speaker 2A is Andy the favorite ?
Speaker 1You're the only boy that's named after pop and the only boy .
Speaker 2That's finished high school from from Mother Lisa . I finished high school . Yeah , you had to pay somebody to do it .
Speaker 1No , I didn't .
Speaker 2I did not .
Speaker 1My problem with it was that I started working , yeah , and I'm like I'm making money . Why do I got to go to school ? I have to get a diploma .
Speaker 2And I enjoy learning .
Speaker 1I never got my diploma . I'm smarter than most people that finish high school . Smarter than me , no that's not true .
Speaker 3Well , and to finish high school and maybe I mean everybody that's had a normal childhood is like oh , that's pretty standard . You guys didn't finish .
Speaker 1What's normal though .
Speaker 3But I had to . I had to work pretty hard to actually go , to be able to go to high school . I don't know .
Speaker 1I think I would have hated sitting there , loved it .
Custom Butcher Shop at the Farm
Speaker 1So what's going on with the farm ?
Speaker 2So currently , hopefully in the next week or two we'll catch we'll kind of get figured out on getting some inspections lined out or see what the process is going to be to get a custom butcher shop at the farm .
Speaker 1If somebody wants beef or something like that , what's the best way to get a whole of your phone ?
Speaker 2Probably Instagram . I mean , I don't have Instagram , but the farm , the farm does and you can just direct message the farm , which the tag for that is pleasant view farms 2018 people can message the farm and and you know we can put you down and so we'll strap this up .
Speaker 1then Andy is always . They follow you . What Andy dot nilson dot one eight , six on Instagram . So Instagram will throw that in my Instagram's , the real James Nilsson . No , this was fun , we'll have to do this again . Anyways , thanks for coming down and so thanks everybody . We'll catch you on the next one .
