As Men Thinketh
James has conversations with people in his life, on how to be better, what they are doing. And different random things.
As Men Thinketh
#5 Daniel Naylor: Adding Value and Fostering Growth:
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Have you ever found yourself drifting through life, yearning for a deeper purpose? This powerful conversation with my dear friend, Daniel Naylor will inspire you to seize the helm of your life and steer with intention. We explore depths of living life with passion and purpose, discussing the profound impact a visit to a Lion's Den live event had on me, and how it sparked a transformative journey that tied back to the biblical story of Abraham.
We dive into a stimulating discourse about navigating the challenges of immediate gratification and the importance of taking calculated steps towards our goals. With the backdrop of Abraham's story, who was dissatisfied despite having everything, we emphasize that true happiness is found not in the destination but in the journey of life. In our honest reflections, we underline the power of authenticity, stepping out of comfort zones, and how his dream of excavation was a self-influenced decision and a divine directive.
Finally, Daniel and I delve into the essence of adding value to others' lives, the power of being vulnerable, and the significance of honesty. I recount the early days of starting this podcast, the growth it has seen, and how being authentic makes the most meaningful impact. In this thought-provoking episode, become ready to be inspired, challenged, and empowered as Daniel and I share our personal experiences and insights on fostering personal growth and supporting each other's goals.
Living Life With Purpose and Passion
Speaker 1Welcome to episode five of as men thinketh . In this podcast , I sit down with Daniel Nailer . He's an old missionary companion of mine . He's a father , a husband , a business partner and entrepreneur , and a dear friend . In this episode , we talk about family , business , things that we are doing in our life to make our life in the world better , and things that we would like to do . As always , we try to keep this podcast as authentic and real as possible . With that being said , there is explicit language used and if you're the type of person that that deeply offends , I would recommend that you skip this podcast . If you're someone who that doesn't bother or someone who can handle it , daniel drops some good nuggets and life lessons . With that being said , we thank you for spending an hour of your time listening to us , and we do not take that for granted . So , without further ado , thank you , and I hope you enjoy this episode . So you've started working out , huh .
Speaker 2Yes .
Speaker 1Why .
Speaker 2A couple things I guess like . One of them is that you came into my office two weeks ago and berated me , you know , and then you took me . You took me to the Lion's Not Sheep , the Lion's Den live thing , which was amazing and Shawn really got me riled up , honestly , but it's been pretty badass . Like I've done three times . You know pretty , pretty serious about it , you know , but it's really hard to do like it's really hard to get yourself up early , go before work , but , like , so far been way more clear thinking . I feel like I've already accomplished something by the time I come to work . It's been pretty badass . I think we're gonna keep keep at it .
Speaker 1Do you see a six pack yet ?
Speaker 2No , but it's got to be close . I mean it's got to be a couple days away . I mean I've got , I've got it lost like 15 pounds . Yeah , it's what it feels like Five pounds a day . I almost feel like I need to buy bigger clothes already because my muscles are grown so fast . Oh yeah , so I'm just kidding . Have you tried those smelling salts ? Yeah , crazy , I forgot , I made you do that Almost passed out when did you do it With James when we were up time at the conference , oh .
Speaker 1I pulled him out . I was like hey , here , smell this , it smells good .
Speaker 2Yeah , it's rough .
Speaker 1Having a seizure in the parking lot .
Speaker 2You don't expect it . Yeah , it hit pretty hard yeah honestly .
Speaker 2Yeah , oh , you brought him up when you were doing that other one with Tulfur Nice . So what were we talking about ? I you know , I just thought just edit out weird stuff , right ? Yeah , I've really liked you getting after it . Honestly , this kind of goes into the what some of your posts , what we were talking about earlier with supporting your friends . But you've been turning it up you know what I mean . Like you've been posting , you've been doing a podcast thing , you've been taking action in life and that just gets me going .
Speaker 1I'm not crying , but Jeremy's peppermint stick I got you , I'm not getting emotional , okay , full blown tears over there buddy , yeah , so that kind of goes into what I've been thinking about .
Speaker 2It's just living life with passion , no matter what you're doing Right . If you're going bankrupt , give it hell , give it everything you got .
Speaker 1That's all it matters , you know . What you're saying is basically living your life with purpose .
Speaker 2Exactly . But no matter what it is , just don't fall asleep at the will and just wake up and you're 80 years old and you're like what have I done ? You know , if it's raising chickens , tear that shit up Like don't just half ass shit . There's no , there's no excitement in there .
Speaker 1So we went to that conference the other weekend Two day event and we just got to sit down and listen to people talk for all day . Yeah , it was all day . It was , from what I pick you up , seven in the morning to ten o'clock at night . Yeah , just going . So the first day we got to sit down and we got to listen to Jordan Peterson for three hours . What was one of your biggest takeaways ?
Speaker 2I hate when people do that , but it's good . Good , put me on the spot . Why don't you tell me yours , and maybe that will help me .
Speaker 1One of the things that he talked about that's been on my mind recently and maybe it's because I feel this , this idea inside of me , but it's . He talked about Abraham in the story of the Bible and in the story Abraham's called forth from his father's tent . He's living in his father's tent and everything's great . His father's rich . He's eating peeled grapes . He's he has everything that you could possibly imagine that you would want in life . It would probably be equivalent to living in a billionaire's house today and having anything , any material possessions that you could possibly want . The problem is he doesn't have adventure and in the story , through whatever means that that God does it , whether it was the still small voice or or whatever . God calls him to a venture , calls him to leave his father's tent , leave all that he knows and go out into the wilderness , to start to find out almost who he is and find out what he wants to accomplish , so to speak , and it's a call to adventure .
Speaker 1And I feel that that that same idea in my life and and I know you have in your past when you went to start a business , when I mean we talked about it even back then , a few years ago , before you had started NACOR and it was I like , almost like a deep burning inside you saying I need to do this thing and I needed make it and I need to like grow it with everything that I have .
Speaker 1And I'm talking to other people right now , whether it's my brother or whether it's my dad or different aspects of their life , where they feel like that they're supposed to do certain things , and it's very interesting to me . It's interesting because a lot of times when I do feel that call of you need to go do this thing , even like this podcast I've been wanting to do this podcast for years and I put it off and put it off and put it off , and maybe because it's terrifying , I'm trying to organize my thoughts , but but it's been fun and it makes you a little more of an adventure and it's a I don't know where I'm going with this .
Speaker 2No , it's good , I'll just jump in . I think it's supposed to be terrifying .
Pursuing True Happiness and Personal Growth
Speaker 2Like this goes along with what Jordan Peterson and they were saying is like we dream about the ankle . Right , I know me and you have done , have had tons of those conversations . I do it all the time .
Speaker 2You dream about life sucks , everything's shit . We're going to keep at it , we're going to keep pushing and someday it's going to be badass . Right , someday maybe you have that yacht , you have the private jet , everything's great . But after not really after , but honestly you're not going to be happy . Right , the happiness is in the adventure . If you're scared about what you're doing is terrifying . That's exactly where you want to be . You want to be growing . If you're not scared , you're not growing . Right , like , what's the point ? We got 86 years down here and the point is to grow . The point is to go through hard stuff . Right , like this is what this lion's den live talk lots about . Hopefully , I'm kind of making sense .
Speaker 2But with the Abraham story he wasn't happy . He's living at his dad's house with everything in the world , like everything that we dream about today . He didn't have many problems . Right , he's just getting fed grapes , he's got no stress and he's not happy , right , and God calls him to go out and do do whatever he's doing . But the point is is it's the adventure that brings you true happiness . It's accomplishing in possible tasks and showing you you can do them , and also showing everyone else they can do impossible tasks , and inspiring other people to do things bigger than themselves . You know , that's why , like , we talked about this , we didn't talk about it , but that's what Jordan Peterson said , or or Sean , I can't remember but that's why we watch sports , right , they want to see , we love to see them make that impossible . Catch you , because it just inspires human beings , like we want to see things that are right on the edge of impossible . Somebody accomplish it . Um , that's a lot . That's some of the things that got out of it .
Speaker 1Yeah , I can see that one of the I mean where you kind of go , that that journey that you're walking down , that's where I'm the most happy . I mean , uh , when I wake up in the morning and maybe it's early and maybe it's I've got to go to the gym and and it's painful and you don't want to get out of your warm bed and and everything . You just want to be comfy . If you go do that thing , I feel better through the day .
Speaker 1Yeah , and it's when , when I walk a pathway of saying I'm going to do everything that I know I should be doing .
Speaker 1I've written out my list and I've got my goal set for me in three months and I have exactly what I need to do today , the little bite I need to take today so that in three months I've met my goal .
Speaker 1And I check all those things off my list , whether it's something small , whether it's saying making sure that I say I love you to my wife and kids , or maybe it's sending an appreciation text to somebody , or maybe it's getting a workout in or following a meal plan , or figuring out how to earn money that day , whatever that it is , it's one little tiny bite in that direction of the goal , and that's where I'm the most happy . At the end of the day , I'm tired and it's I did something . Today I feel good , you feel well , you feel like that you're living your life with purpose , instead of just wandering around not knowing where you're going and hoping that you have success . And then when in five years , you find out that you don't have success and you don't , you it's not that you don't know why , but you just go . I don't have success and I'm just going to continue just wandering around aimlessly , hoping that I stumble into the lottery and you're depressed .
Speaker 2So why do you think your body , or whatever it is , works so hard , works over time to make you not happy ? Right , your body is like donuts are delicious , but if you eat donuts every day , you're going to be miserable and like . A big thing has nothing to do with donuts , but a big thing for me is talking about family relations . You , you work your body off all day . You're just dead tired . You feel like you have no mental capacity or physical capacity to go play with your kids . Right , it's like something inside you is like oh , that's too much , oh that's too hard .
Speaker 2But playing with your kids and stepping , stepping the fuck up in that moment , well , is exactly what you need to do to be happy in the long run , because if you step up , you can have good relationships with your kids . They're going to want to come over on the holidays . That's what's going to keep bringing you true happiness . But we have something inside of us that's constantly I hope it's not just me that this happens to it but constantly like pushing us to want things that don't bring us happiness . Why do you think like ? Why do you think that is ?
Speaker 1From my personal experience , my body is a creature of comfort and , um , my actual physical body does not understand that if I sacrifice what I want now , the future can be better . My mind does , but my body's just going dude . I'm hungry , or I want that donut , or I want I want a coffee , or just whatever that I want right now . I'm going to do whatever I need to do to try to get it . That's how it works for me . I don't know the science behind it . I'm sure that I could watch a few episodes of Andrew Huberman and start to understand why our body craves it . Maybe it's something with evolution , maybe it's something with just who we are as a person . One thing that I found for me that does help is that that same exact principle that you just explained , where , where you laid it out , where you go , like , let's say . Let's say I go through the analysis of where will I be if I don't do this or if I do do this longterm , and I lay it all the way out To where I go . What's going , what's going to happen to me in five years if I only eat donuts ? It's good , you know , it tastes good , it tastes delicious , it's whatever . It gives me a dopamine hit , and that's what your body's looking for . It's looking for the quickest , easiest dopamine hit that it can get . So , because that's Feels good If I can break that analysis down to say , okay , where will I be in this certain amount of time If I continue to go down the pathway I'm walking . So I go okay , I don't want to work out and I want to eat donuts and I want to do everything that that brings me immediate pleasure . Where will I be in five years from now ? And then you started going okay , let's break it down . In a year from now , I might not see too big of a change , other than I know from personal experience that my mental will start going down . So I'll start making less clear decisions about what I should do . I will then get comfortable about trading what I want in the future , which could be good for me for what I want today . Well , that's not a good thing either . Okay . So how's that ? Okay , so I'm going to start with my mental . Okay . So maybe I start doing that because I'm starting to trade that thing . Maybe I start doing it with my finances . Maybe I start doing it with people . Maybe I start doing it because I'm already doing it with myself . What if I start doing that to my wife ? What if I start trading what our relationship could be in in five years for just what I immediately want right now , and I'm willing to sacrifice her , my kids , myself , my business , my partners , just for my immediate comfort , right in the moment .
Speaker 1I had a post on Instagram a couple of days ago because that same concept was on my mind of using people around us for our own pleasure and being okay with abusing people simply for a dopamine hit . Whether it's just simply doing a crappy post on Facebook and lying in it to try to get somebody to stand up and go okay , yeah , you're amazing or you're whatever . Whether it's saying I'm so fat , when you know you're not fat , but maybe you feel fat , or maybe you just feel sad and I go Danny , I'm so fat , you're going dude , you're not fat , you're jacked , yeah , and then , oh , that makes me feel good inside and it's like that , that mental manipulation of other people using our friendship or using whatever that we have , just simply for a quick little dopamine hit . Long term , that's not going to go good for me . I break it down . Eventually you're going to catch on and eventually you're going to feel used and eventually you're not going to want to hang out with me anymore . And if you don't hang out with me anymore , all of a sudden my friends start pulling away from me .
Speaker 1If I don't have friends , that means I'm going to end up depressed . That's what happens . You don't have people to break to break bread with , you don't have people to talk about your ideas with . What's the point of living life if you don't have a relationship with anybody around you ? That , to me , is one of the most valuable things about life . Making money is great . I want to make a ton of money , but if I don't have friends to share my money with , what the hell's the point ? And so I don't know . Maybe I'm going on tangent , but that idea of using other people just for our own personal gain , abusing ourselves just for the quick little dopamine hit we can get , sacrificing what we potentially could have in the future for what we want right now it never goes good . Yeah , yeah .
Speaker 2Yeah , so like to go along with that . There's something in our body makeup that if left untamed or unchecked , is very self-destructive , and this is like Jordan Peterson talks about , which is really amazing
Honesty and Purpose in Living Life
Speaker 2. I think it's important to realize that , Like if you leave yourself unchecked or untamed and just going off of your whims right , your first thing , eating a donut , sacrificing relationships like you have to be very targeted , like your conscience or whatever you want to call it . You had to be very targeted to keep driving the bus where you want to go , right , had to be targeted . No , I'm going to wake up early and going to go to the gym . No , I'm not going to eat that donut . No , I'm not going to do that with my friends or with relationships .
Speaker 2But if you just leave it unchecked which I think kind of goes into the living life on purpose , if you're just going through life , you can wake up one day and find yourself not where you want to be because you've gone so long unchecking your actions and your behavior . You have to be very precise in living life on purpose . Right , Setting goals , achieving goals . It's just crazy . I don't understand . It seems like it would be so cool if your natural makeup was to just be an overachiever right , but maybe that's part of the point . Maybe that's part of the point . What makes it cooler is that you have to fight so hard .
Speaker 1It definitely makes it worth it . Nothing I've ever had that comes easy to me . I mean , there's things that come easier to me , but I don't appreciate them near as much as the things I've had to work for . I mean we can even take a ride down to people . When I got married , that came very , very easy to me . The situation I didn't work for it , I didn't even really date . It was basically a placement marriage . So what did I do ? Well , I was an arrogant jerk , and so the first thing I did is start to abuse the thing around me . That came easy , and it took me a long time to get to the point where I started to appreciate who she was . And then you start to work for it , and the more that you start working and putting your effort in and do your best to doing what you know you should be doing towards that relationship , the better off it gets . But the best strategy that I found is simply just that laying it out of .
Speaker 1Where will I be in five years if I continue walking down the road ? I'm walking ? If I want to go to Florida , but I have my GPS set to New York , where am I going to be when I get there . I'm going to be in New York and it doesn't take very much to shift . It's just 1% , but after 100 days you're 100% better and it's fulfilling . It truly is the best feeling of when you're getting up , as long as you're not lying to yourself and telling yourself a story about how you're killing it when you're not , and I'm sure we'll dive into this . That's that part of being honest with yourself . But it's fun , it's rewarding . You feel like that you're actually accomplishing something , and especially when you're watching yourself grow and then you see that other people are happy that are in your circle of influence .
Speaker 2Yeah , yeah , you for sure have to be constantly checking where you're going . You have to get a goal , but you can't just live or who knows what's going to happen . You're going to be part of somebody else's story or whatever , but you constantly have to have where do I want to be and constantly redirecting . It's like I want to go to New York or whatever , or wherever you're going , and constantly redirecting because things happen every day that shifts . You got to constantly be checking yourself if you're going to get to where you want to be , if it makes sense . But we can jump into the honesty this is getting funner . At first it was a little nerve-wracking with the microphone in your face .
Speaker 1Well , yeah , but when you figure out that it's just a conversation like we have all the time and then it's not too bad . Know that idea of honesty . Except , I've been thinking a little bit about it lately , mostly from the standpoint of who do I become if I'm not honest ? And we heard in that conference and I've heard Jordan Peterson talk about it a bunch but one of the ways that Nazi Germany , stalin , russia , you know , mao's China , all came to grow was because people started lying constantly . And he explained it , and explained it in a much more eloquent way than I can . But the piece I got out of it was basically every time you lie , you tilt the world a little bit to hell .
Speaker 1And this goes back to that , that idea of a long term strategy . Lying doesn't help you long term . So who's lying ? Because if I tell a lie , whether it's to myself , my family , my friends , my wife , my business partners , my employees , it doesn't matter who . Where is that going ? And what is that for In five years ? Where am I going to be if I continue down this road of lying , so easy though ? I wake up in the morning and I'm too tired . I'm too tired to get up . Well , is that the truth ?
Speaker 2Yeah , but are you too tired ? Exactly .
Speaker 1Are you or are you trying to tell yourself a lie ? And notice this the other day is I was . I was running . I was trying to chase somebody down at CrossFit , people know . No , I was trying to chase somebody down to see if I could pass them and we were both at a full blown sprint running and I felt like my heart was going to burst and it's like I can't go anymore . And I had that in my head playing Really yeah , well , okay , yeah , I can push a little harder . I'm holding back . And well , where did that put me ?
Speaker 1By telling that truth , it put me a little further than I have gone before , which was a little bit of an adventure , because telling the truth takes you on an adventure and you get better and everything around you gets better and you tilt the world a little less away from hell . So now I go back , I start telling lies about me , whether they're white lies , whether I justify them . I start telling them to my spouse and I'm not talking about like big lies , like like where were you last night ? And you just you know , maybe you're at the bar with your friends and you tell her church , yeah , that's not like , like inherently , we know , like those big lives , but okay , that's too far . But oftentimes I catch myself and I say little tiny lies , even in my speech , where I don't say exactly what I mean and sometimes I don't know what the truth is . But I always know what a lie is . And if you lie repeatedly to people around you and you tilt the world further to hell , what do you get ? You get hell . Yeah , that's all you get .
Speaker 1And I thought about this , that idea of of these dictatorships , because I kind of wondered there's plenty of men that we know that they have their little family unit and they are the dictator of their family . Yeah , and I thought about this with my wife because I'm an ego driven person and I tend to ride over the top of people and I tend to maybe I use words , maybe I use physical like appearance of saying you're going to do this for me and I and I try to create a slave or somebody who's under my rule of dictatorship . And so then I ask myself what do I get if I get the thing I seek ? Well , I get to be a dictator , that's what I get . I get to be a master , that's what I get . So what do I get ? What does my wife get If I'm a dictator and this can go both ways , because we know why I have to do this the other way , what do you get ?
Speaker 1Well , if you're a master to a slave , you don't get a friend . You don't get a spouse . You don't get a lover , you get a slave . You can have people in your concentration camp that's what you get . You don't get friends . You don't get to grow . You don't get the joys of life that come when you have a partner and a friend that you can go to and actually grow and experience life . You don't get that . So if you're leading your family in this dictatorial way of saying I'm just going to force my will upon everybody and I'm not going to lead and I'm not going to tell the truth , this is what you get . And when you're , when the end of your life comes and you die , all that will resolve , or all that will not resolve , but it'll break down , just like the fall of Russia , and everybody will be left in chaos . Nobody will it to . Well , it's hell . That's what you get .
Speaker 2Yeah .
Speaker 1So it's like well , is it worth it to lie then ? If that's where lying is going to put me in any aspect of my life , is it worth it ? Is it worth it for my kids Take me , as it worth it for my wife to hate me , maybe even leave me at some point ? Is it worth it for my friends to not trust me anymore ? Is it worth it for my business partners that know that they can't count on me ? Is it worth it for me , knowing I can't count on myself ? No , if I put it that way , no , it's not . Well then tell the damn truth .
Speaker 2Yeah .
Speaker 1Does that make sense ?
Speaker 2Yeah , that was one of my favorite takeaways , honestly , from Jordan Peterson , because I think that's the golden rule . That's the golden rule , right ? Tell the truth leads to everything good . Tell the lie , no matter how small , leads to everything bad . Is that simple ? You know , you hear about terrible things , right ? You're like how could anyone even do that ? And Jordan Peterson is like it's simple . It just starts by telling little lies and and driving down that path .
Speaker 2All you have to do and this might sound really corny , but with Jeremy and I's business , nacor , at the starting , especially right First , I think you have to engage , you have to get out of your comfort zone , you have to reach for the stars , you have to do hard things , but at the same time , you're telling the truth with everything . You know you're super uncomfortable , but you're not like , oh , I can't do this . You're like no , we can do this . Magic happens and it's unexplainable and I don't know how it happens or whatever . It's not magic all the time , but you'll look back when you're in the game chasing after a goal you've set , you'll look back and you achieved it .
Speaker 2Right , and it's insane . It feels like magic . Because you're like how did this happen ? It wasn't me , it wasn't just like man , I'm such a badass , I just did this . You know it took everyone involved . But you have to reach out to your comfort zone . You have to be honest with yourself and with everyone around you and mountains will move Like it's insane . I'm sure you're kind of experiencing
Stepping Outside Your Comfort Zone
Speaker 2that some . You posted the ad for countertops and the lad you already got .
Speaker 2You already got a job right .
Speaker 1Yeah , or before .
Speaker 2you're like you're hesitant about it . Yeah , you're like this can be hard , Like am I going to be able to make enough money or whatever ? Right , You've had a lot , of a lot of doubts , but you putting yourself in the game , all sudden you have a job to do and I guarantee there'll be a job after that and you'll be like , holy shit , I'm making a living doing this thing I dreamt about Anyway it was loud , sorry , um , this , this idea of reaching outside your comfort zone , it's a lot easier .
Speaker 1It's a lot easier when you feel like that you're supposed to . And I don't know quite how to explain that , because I do look through it through the lens of how we were raised , because that was often talked about . What are you supposed to do ? What do you feel ? Yeah , and I never quite understood it , and because a lot of times , well , you might feel something and you're like , oh well , I should go do this because I feel this thing . And then you watch other men and they're like , well , I felt this thing and I'm going to go do it . And it's like , well , that turned out as an absolute disaster for you . Like , are you just driving off your emotions ? You know , you , you know we've heard of men that will run to a young lady and ask her to marry them because they felt impressed , too impressed too . And I want to impress the word impress Because it turned out to be an absolute disaster and it ruined the reputation . And you go well , was that God speaking ? Maybe I don't know , maybe he was trying to show you something , I don't know . And so this idea of saying , well , I feel like that there's something I'm supposed to do . And that goes back to that story we were talking about earlier , that call to adventure . Like it's been interesting me .
Speaker 1I reached out to somebody just the other day that in my past I did things to them . I was basically as an asshole , I was a bully , I was young , and it was interesting to me because it bothered me , like at my core , and for a long time I felt like you need to reach out and apologize . That's what you need to do , has nothing to do with them . And eventually I got enough courage to reach out and say hey , I'm sorry for this , this , this , this is why I did it . It wasn't acceptable Different now . And then they respond thank you , I remembered all that and this is a perfect time . I'm so glad you reached out Say , oh , that's interesting , yeah , sorry if I'm cutting you off , no go .
Speaker 2I really think if you're being honest with yourself , keeping in that headspace , you know exactly what you should be doing . Like it's hard to explain , but you know , even with , like certain , an excavation business right . I've wanted to do . This goes a little bit religious Just from how they raise and stuff , but I want to do excavation since .
Speaker 2I was a kid , just dreamed about it , like I just nothing got me more excited than not really running equipment but doing big stuff . Right In my mind , doing big stuff , building , building freeways . I was like that is what I want to do Build bridges , freeways , do big stuff . That's going to be there forever . But somebody else might be like that's the stupidest thing ever . Why would you want to do that ?
Speaker 2Anyway , so way before I started , right , you were up , we were up at the UNS , we were camping up there . I think we were on missions still , yeah , we were , and I was just battling because I had all of this religious dialogue in , like , well , what are you supposed to do , you know ? I was just struggling , like , well , what are you supposed to do , you know ? And for some reason I always thought you're supposed to do the thing you hated . Yeah , I remember that talk . So it's just like man , I probably going to have to be like a plumber , electrician or like a garbage man . I mean , that's what God wants , because that sounds miserable , you know . So I , anyway , I was like praying about it , I was stressing about it , I was thinking about it constantly , like what I want to do is excavating , but that's probably not what I'm supposed to do , right ? Because ?
Speaker 1it's the thing . It's the very thing that you would want to do , yeah .
Speaker 2So , anyway , it was like your conscience God whatever you want to say just slapped me in the face and was like why the hell do you want to do that if you're not supposed to do it ? Like , think about it . Joe Blow over there doesn't want to do it . He wants , he has his own passion right . This could even go into your podcast . You've been thinking about doing this podcast forever . It's for you . That's why you're thinking about doing the podcast , like that's you being honest , you're in the game . That's what you should be chasing , you know . Anyway , that's kind of what I got with excavating . I'm like I felt amazing . I was like hell , yeah , I'm going to do it . I'm going to do it because there's a reason . You want to do it , like Jerron . What does Jerron want to do ? Does Jerron want to start an excavating company ? He's probably like fuck , no .
Speaker 1Hell no .
Speaker 2Like we have things , and it's not just like starting businesses or anything . There's so many aspects in life that you know what you should be doing , and that doesn't have to be a religious thing at all , like if you're being honest with yourself . You know exactly what it is . Whether it's texting somebody and apologizing that day , you know .
Speaker 1I think the hang up that a lot of people get and I know that from me is we know the step that we should be taking . We don't see the end goal .
Speaker 2Yeah , exactly .
Speaker 1And a lot of people don't want to move unless they have the whole map planned out of okay , I'm going to go here and here and here , and this is all what it's going to look like so perfectly to this goal . And a lot of times it just doesn't work that way and I don't . You know , you're running into obstacles , you're moving , you're shifting , you're dodging , you're adjusting , but it's taking that tiny step every single day , especially when it's something that that you're just like man this bugging me . I got to go do it and that's the
Adding Value, Being Authentic
Speaker 1podcast . This podcast has been really a really weird experience for me , because when I started it , I thought I will probably get three people to listen , because I'm an idiot , and it will be my wife , because I forced her and probably a dictator Thanks for calling me out and a few people in that I work with because , like again , I'll force them to and I'll probably have three or four downloads .
Speaker 1What I found out through it was people are starving for other people just talking about their life experiences and how to get better , and I've had more people reach out to me and say , hey , thank you . Some people have been negative or they've had you know all this or yeah , you guys should change this , and that's great . I actually appreciate all that too . But I've had some people reach out and just thank you for doing this or this thing helped me . Oh , I'm grateful because I realize I'm not alone . I don't care if it's one person . That that was wild to me , that that's happened and I go . Well , then maybe it's adding value and that was really how I even started . Was , was that that still small voice , or that intuition , or that bugging feeling of figure out how to add some value to somebody somewhere ? Let go do that .
Speaker 1And I think that deep down inside , everybody probably feels that and everybody can add value in some direction . People probably don't want to do a podcast I get it but maybe they want to add value in another area . Maybe it's I want to make the best suits I can possibly make . That's valuable . Maybe it's I want to make the best food I can possibly make for my family . That's value . Maybe it's post on Facebook , it might be an action , might be making coffee , I don't care . There's value that every single person can add and I think that maybe that's the , that's the call . Well , that's been the call to me . That's added the great , greatest amount of joy is when I add value to other people freely .
Speaker 2Yeah .
Speaker 1Got him a down a rabbit hole .
Speaker 2No , it was really good . And when you're following that passion or whatever and people's passions can change , you will add value to other people's lives . It's just it . Just it's crazy how it works . And another thing this might be a little off topic , but I was thinking about it when you're talking , what Jordan Peterson said is we have got to start being okay with asking questions and looking stupid , because we are all stupid . Yeah , you know , like , everyone's going through hard stuff in life . Everyone's like man , I'm the only one doing this . Nobody gets this . No , there's probably a million people out there going through stuff . Like , like what you're going through ? We've got to be okay with asking questions , looking vulnerable , you know , calling our friends , being like hey , this , I'm going through this . Like what do you think ?
Speaker 1Instead of just keeping it all in and just , it's a lonely life when you do that , you know the plus to that , to that not to dive too deep down a rabbit hole , but the plus to asking questions because you're stupid is that you get an answer and you get to become a little less stupid . Yeah , that's a pretty good trade off If all I have to do is look stupid for a couple minutes and I get to be a little less stupid if somebody has an answer for me . My ego says no , but my logic says yeah , that's a good trade off . We should do that .
Speaker 2Let's talk about like goals . Where do you want this podcast to go ? Just be honest , where do you want ? Where do you're dreaming Like your high dreams , your high goals ? Where do you want this to be in five years ?
Speaker 1I've had a few people reach out and ask me that question and also , who's your target audience ? I don't know . I don't actually have a goal for it in five years . I think that there would be some incredible things that maybe could come out of it If I got better and you get higher quality people on and you get better interviewing and maybe at some point you can interview some of your heroes . That would be pretty incredible for me . I think the very best thing that this podcast could do is if somebody listens to it and it drops a nugget that touches them in such a way that they then take action and it changes their life . That's worth every penny , that's worth every amount of time , and my target audience is whoever will listen .
Speaker 2I think your target audience shouldn't matter as much as you just need to be you . You need to be James . People can hear James and they're going to be touched in their lives . Theo Vaughn the comedian I don't know if he has a target audience , he just is himself , and then people flock around that see him being authentic , which is what I think he's been doing too . But I think that's what you need to do . You just need to embrace you and just talk about stuff you want to talk about , which is kind of what you've already been doing and people have been liking it .
Speaker 1My whole goal is this idea of letting your light shine , and a lot of times I feel like a lot of people might look at their own life and say I have no light to shine . I'm like , maybe I'm not special , maybe I haven't done any experiences or adventures , or I don't even feel like I'm smart enough to open my mouth if somebody asks a question , and I feel that way . I have imposter syndrome , like mad . I'm not a podcaster . I've been doing countertops for 15 years and I still don't feel like a countertop guy .
Speaker 1The point is that I have my life experiences and there's things that I learn and I could be wrong . But if I shine a light up there and it's bright and I'm a figurative lighthouse and I'm casting my light out on the water , somebody might be in a storm and maybe , god willing , I say something smart enough or I bring some sort of information to their attention that could change them for the better . I didn't do it and I even explained this to somebody the other day , as they called me . They were just like oh , you know been listening and this one thing that you said really , really helped me . I wanted to make sure that they knew I'm not doing anything . Hey , I might be doing a podcaster , I might be talking , or we might be having conversations with each other that are meaningful to us , and somebody might be able to extract something out of it and they implement it in their life . That's not me , that's you . You're doing that in your life and pat yourself on the back if that's what you need .
Speaker 1Yeah but it's not . It's not James , it's whoever you are . And you took that and you put it on your shoulders and you decided to do something with it and you're making your life better because of it Not me . Not only do I not want that responsibility . It's not the truth . You're doing something and that's incredible that you've decided to make the moves to change your life . I mean , you started working out recently .
Speaker 1I'm not getting you up in the morning . It might be because I berated you a couple of weeks ago . Yeah , that was rough . That might have been a step of a motivation in that , you know , in that direction , but I'm not doing it for you . You're doing it and you get to have the rewards and you get to feel accomplished , because I'm not the guy dragging you out of bed and forcing you in into the gym . You're doing that to yourself and that's special . It's like good on you , man . You're taking your life and you're putting it in your own hands and you're you're taking your burden and you're and you're putting it upon your shoulders saying this is mine , I own it . That's special .
Speaker 2So let's think about what you have to do to be able to touch people's lives . Like you're talking , right , like what do you have to do ? You have to put out quality content , which is what you're doing , and you need to put out consistent right For people to , for people to be able to listen and get nuggets out of it and change your own life . Right , like that's what . That's what I was pushing down here is , like what do you need to do to accomplish this goal that you want to do ?
Speaker 1Well , there's things that I can do for the podcast that I go okay , what do I need to do to accomplish certain goals ? And that is consistency , quality , you know , posting , getting quality people on doing the best that I can with it , getting better every time , learning how to speak , and so that's stuff that I can do to make the podcast better , that maybe it can start to reach more people's lives Now anybody that's listening . You don't have to have a social media to touch people's lives . It might make it easier . But really , what the core of what I would have to do , you would have to do , anybody would have to do to touch somebody's life and start making well , start making their family's life better , is you've got to make your life better . You've got to change you . That's the only person I can change . That's the only person I truly can affect .
Speaker 1Yeah you've got to shine your light and I have to fix me . And if I fix me , maybe somebody in my family goes you've inspired me to fix me . And if somebody in my immediate family does that , maybe it turns into my community and then my community turns into my county or my city , my town , maybe that turns to my state and then that turns to my country and then that turns to the world . It starts with me . So the question is how do I affect , how could I affect people for the better ?
Speaker 1Well , that's by changing me , putting that out there , and I'm trying to put out authentic me as best as I possibly can . These are conversations I have in my head all the time . I'm probably not going to put out all the dark stuff , because there's that too . I have failures , just as sometimes I have successes . And maybe you know , if you can be honest and truthful with yourself and you can put yourself out there as honest and truthful as possible and while doing that , simultaneously try to improve yourself , I think that that is the best step forward to change the world , which I think is an honorable goal .
Speaker 2Yeah , so you want to touch people's lives , basically like long story short , you want to touch people's lives in a way that it makes them want to change things themselves . You don't want to come in and change it for them , right ? That's impossible to do .
Speaker 1It's not . My end goal is not to say I just want to make sure that I touch people's lives or affect people's lives , because that why that is an honorable goal . I want the world to just be a better place . If that affects people's lives , great , and I want to leave this life with a little less hell . Maybe that's the way to put it Is that when I die , people go , life is a little bit better because of him . Maybe that's an honorable goal .
Speaker 2Yeah , I think that's really honorable
Empowering Personal Growth and Support
Speaker 2. So what can I do to help you ?
Speaker 1reach your goal , I guess . Well , I think it goes back to the same thing that we were talking about before . There's only one thing that we can do , and that's by changing us . So if somebody was like you have this goal of making the world a better place , whatever that that means , what could I do to help you change you take your burdens and your responsibilities of your life and put it on your shoulders . Take your health , take it seriously . Become an asset , not a liability . Fix your relationships with your family and your friends and your fathers and your mothers and your spouses and your kids , and become a leader . Learn to make a crap ton of money , because that's valuable , whether or not people like it . You should be figuring out how to get as rich as humanly possible and to have the character to do something good with it . That's what you , that's that .
Speaker 1That , to me , is what I look at . You know , that's what I've got to aim for and achieve . Is those those four aspects of my life centering myself , building a relationship . For me , it's with my God , because that that's what I want . It's fixing my relationships and growing them into , where there's something that there's something that is powerful and incredible to have with my friends , my family , my wife . It's making my body healthy and fit and it's making money . And I think if everybody focused on those aspects of life and figured out how to make those four things better , well , that that's the pillar of your life , and your life would start getting a lot better . There's nothing that you do in the day that doesn't fall into one of those four categories . Yeah , and right now we're . We're falling into two of them . We're falling into production and into the financial side . Maybe this grows big enough that you make money off of it ? Probably not , but we're also building a relationship because we're having a conversation . It's valuable , right ?
Speaker 2Yeah , it might be a tangent , but yeah , so kind of where I was trying to go down is just kind of what we talked about this morning .
Speaker 1Right .
Speaker 2And then you're just about lifting your friends up and not tearing them down for chasing their goals , right , I think it's important to know . Obviously , you can't do this for every person in the world Shining your light , but if you want to be a good friend , right . I think one of the things is find out what your friend's goal is . Right , jerams and James is like what is your goal with anything ? What is your goal in life ? Where are you driving the bus ? Where do you want to be ? And then , how can I be an asset to help him get there ? Right ? Maybe it's not .
Speaker 1Maybe it's the text of week you know Well , and it might just be the belief that in them , that they can do it Like if I have a goal and saying , hey , danny . I really want to get to where I'm making $100,000 a month profit going into my personal bank account and you go . Well , how can I help you get there ? Just even that statement is so much better than being like that's too high .
Speaker 2Yeah .
Speaker 1We've got to be positive with each other . Yeah , and maybe somebody's got a really crappy goal . That's going to be bad for them and bad for other people , but that's being a friend and saying , hey , let's walk through this with you . Yeah , because where is this ?
Speaker 1going to lead long term . Yeah , and you called me to tell me that you were working out . I could tell you about all the bad things that could potentially happen . You're going to blow your knees out , you're going to hurt your back , you're going to get unmotivated . You're probably not going to lose anyway and yeah , whatever . But I want to see you rise , because then I have a friend that's risen and if you rise and get better , then would that not make my life better ? Well , that would give me another friend that's fit and capable that I could call on if I need to . If I tell you I want to make money , you're running a big business , and you go yeah , don't reach there . You don't want to do that , which we do all the time , because we want to see people fail , because if they fail , then that validates us for not doing a damn thing . You want good people around you . Raise them up and , yeah , just a simple support . And you have and you do , and a lot of people do , and it's encouraging and motivating .
Speaker 2Yeah , yeah . I just think , like part of shining your light , I think we've got to be better friends , better humans to each other , right , call each other out when we're sucking ass , like you did a couple of weeks ago . And also , where's my friends going ? Where are they driving ? How can I help them get there ? I think it's really important . That's what I want to work on . I guess in my life is just showing up , showing up for people , showing up for your friends , being positive , shining your light .
Speaker 1Well , I think it's a valuable goal and I believe that if you do that thing , the world will become a better place , and especially your world will . Yeah , yeah , your world will be a lot better and then you're not just so damn negative all the time and people might want to be around you .
Speaker 2Be negative , sucks ass .
Speaker 1I'm gonna have to put an explicit on this podcast . It takes its toll . I wish I knew all the science behind it , because that's something that's fascinating the psychology and the science behind being negative and being a victim . I mean I hate being a , I hate people that are a victim . I shouldn't say I hate people that are a victim . I hate that mentality because you're giving away your right to change to somebody else . Yeah , and it's well . It doesn't do a favor for anybody , no .
Speaker 2Yeah , it's a pretty helpless place to be in and we bounce around a lot . We did I think I got the ADHD yeah .
Speaker 1Well it doesn't help when you have two people that have it . It's like driving down the freeway , taking every exit that you could possibly take . Yeah , we did .
Speaker 2I mean it feels . It feels like maybe at any point , I don't know . I think we should just get out there and do all this shit .
Speaker 1We talked about One thing , that is , is one little step at a time . A lot of people try to bite off as much as they can possibly chew . They want to eat the whole elephant in one go . They want to fix every aspect of their life that they know that they need to fix and it's . I want to fix it all in one single day and then I'll be fixed . And it doesn't work that way it's , it's a , it's a small step in that direction , every single time , every single day , every moment . That's being that disciplined . You know I want that donut , but I better not . I have a plan . I got to stick to it . Down the road I can have one , and maybe it's a reward process of of a . You know , if I lose five pounds like , I'll let myself eat one donut . You know something like that . And those small steps in that direction , well , the equal big results and uh , hell Mary plays very , very rarely work . They're a last resort .
Speaker 2Yeah , yeah , and you have to drive the bus in your life with , like , we're just like what we've talked about , right , eating donuts is going to get you fat and not happy with yourself . You're going to hate yourself after , after five years of eating donuts every day . But we expect it to be different with business , with finances , with school , with everything else .
Speaker 1Right , you have to try relationships , relationships .
Speaker 2You have to treat all those things with that purpose like living on purpose . Where do you want the podcast to go ? Where do you want your marriage to go ? Where do you want this stuff ? You've got to set goals and I'm I suck at setting goals , but you you will . With Nacor . I have to set goals . Where do I want to be ? Or we're just going to just lollygag and in five years I'll wake up and be like holy shit in the same place . I've been for five years .
Speaker 1You have to set a goal , but you've also got to build a map to the goal .
Speaker 2Yeah .
Speaker 1If I punch into my GPS that I want to go to Denver , it builds me an exact , an exact map of where I need to turn , how many miles I need to travel , what I need to travel at , the speed I need to travel at and everything that I need to do to get to my exact destination at this time . Yeah , and it's you . Jump on the freeway . It's 150 miles in this direction . You take this exact exit . And the same thing needs to go with every aspect of our life , whether it's it might be a relationship that's struggling , and it's well , let's say , theoretically , it's your wife . Date night is a must , right , that's something you go . I got to do that . I've got to communicate with my wife . I've got to maybe it's your kids , but I got to play with them . I've got to take time out of my day to do this , this thing , consistently and constantly , because consistency plus time is your results .
Speaker 2Yeah , like you have to check yourself every single day , like just setting a big goal , right , I want to change the world . That's the hell , mary , you're not going to get there yet to break it down , and that's kind of what . That's what I was driving at earlier right With the podcast . I was just picking apart your pod , not picking apart , but that's what .
Speaker 2I was trying to use . Like , where do you want to go ? You want to touch tons of people's lives ? How do you do that ? Right , where do I want my business to go ? You know how , like you got to break it down and check yourself every single day , just like you want to . You want to be fit , right , you end to be like , sweet , I'm going to . I'm going to go to Vasa couldn't get the best membership they have going to walk around and I'm going to be fit
Push-Up Goals and Self-Confidence
Speaker 2. No , it's just like how many push-ups do you have to do a day ? You have to , and then you can accomplish it . Right , like I know I have to do 150 push-ups a day . I'm just making up numbers , but you know , if you did 90 , you know , you , you , you keep that up you're not going to get to your goal . So it's , I don't know . May we talk about it next podcast ? Honestly .
Speaker 1Well maybe that's you know that's a place to we can wrap up and probably need to get going , so yeah , but thanks for coming down and sharing some of your insights and wisdom .
Speaker 2Thanks for letting me on Like .
Speaker 1hopefully I didn't sound too stupid You've been trying so hard yeah .
Speaker 2It's pretty hard for me to sound smart .
Speaker 1Okay , it's impossible for me to sound smart .
Speaker 2When I was a baby . So I mean , didn't even finish , didn't even finish sixth grade . So yeah , pretty hard , pretty hard to sound smart . But yeah , I appreciate you . Let me come on . I was blessed .
Speaker 1That sounds like a good place to wrap up Cool . Thanks everybody .
