#6 Rula Nielsen

Dip your toes into the frosty waters of transformation with us as we recount the tales of our 46-day ice bath streak. Embracing the shiver and the thrill, we uncover the mental grit and bodily gains such as mood boosts, disease defense, and inflammation reduction. Our steamy lattes by the fireside are more than just a warm comfort; they're a lesson to our children in the art of perseverance and a daily affirmation of our commitment to thriving in the face of adversity.

Navigating life's relational tapestry, we unravel the threads of supportive partnerships and mindful parenting. Our journey through personal fitness and growth isn’t just a solo trip; it's a shared voyage that spurs on both partners, inspiring a household ambiance ripe with ambition and mutual respect. And as we sculpt our children into capable, likable adults, we discuss the delicate balance of boundary setting with the nurturing embrace that fosters resilience. Join us as we contemplate the essence of family dynamics and the joy of raising a generation that’s both grounded and ready to soar.

We wrap up our heartfelt dialogue with reflections on personal growth and its ripple effect on our community. Striding towards half marathons or perfecting daily routines, it's the steadfast dedication to self-improvement that beckons like-minded souls to form a supportive collective. As we ponder the wisdom of influencers like Jocko Willink and Cameron Haines, we reinforce the transformative power of quality time and intentional parenting. Eavesdrop on our musings for a dose of inspiration and perhaps, find a spark to fuel your own journey toward being the best for those who matter most.

Transcript

Ice Baths

Speaker 1 0:07

So how many days has it been for you doing ice baths ?

Speaker 2 0:12

It's been before the first of January , so so we're 42 days into the year . So it probably , we're probably close around 46 days , 46? . Every day , every morning , we get into the ice bath .

Speaker 1 0:29

Have you missed the day ?

Speaker 2 0:30

Nope , no days missed yet .

Speaker 1 0:34

Three minutes , as we both did it today . I don't do it that often . I do it every now and again , yeah , but it sucks .

Speaker 2 0:42

It's so hard . It's hard . Some days are definitely hard as others . It's all mental , though mentally , if you can get yourself there .

Speaker 1 0:51

I don't know , Not that bad . It feels really physical . I'm still I'm still shivering because I'm not warm yet from mine .

Speaker 2 1:00

Does it stand in front of the fire though ?

Speaker 1 1:03

Oh , it's like about three minutes . It was 32 degrees . Yes , there's a thick layer of ice all around it .

Speaker 2 1:10

It's wonderful , wonderfully cold and hard . I don't think it's wonderful . Some days I want to cry , and some days I do cry . Logan always reassures me , though , that I can scream as loud as I want any time I get in .

Speaker 1 1:25

That's because he does . So what you get up in the morning like this morning , that's usually what you do you get up . Sometimes kids are up , sometimes they're not . You just go climbing .

Speaker 2 1:36

I always like to have my latte in the fire ready , so I make me a latte . But I'm start the pellet stove and put my latte on the pellet stove , have a drink of water waiting and I jump in for three minutes , quickly change and come and sip of the fire and sit my latte . Most times the kids are awake so they sit out there with me and Logan tears me on on . Kennedy cries Most times most mornings , but then we all play a little game after and it's , it's great .

Speaker 1 2:05

Yeah , I've been here a couple of couple of mornings when you've done it , but I just watch you suffer . I don't , I don't .

Speaker 2 2:13

I think , more than anything I want to show the kids that they can do hard things and that consistency pays off and and and too , if it makes me better , it makes me be able to handle myself better and easier than I can do with them better and , you know , we can prioritize the things that are actually important versus , you know , kind of be stuck in a In a right all day and we never really get out of to do more than the basis .

Speaker 1 2:48

Well , it gives you a lot of different Like , so obviously makes you happier . Yes , because it's neon . If you want to look up the benefits of it , the best podcast I found is Andrew Huberman's podcast . I don't even know if you've listened to it . I've told you about it though , yeah , I haven't Dived into it .

Speaker 2 3:06

But for making you happier .

Speaker 1 3:09

And then it makes Makes more resilient to disease . I can , I can get that , so you don't get sick as often .

Speaker 2 3:20

Which ?

Speaker 1 3:20

is nice , yes , and then it's just hard . Yeah , there's no two ways about it . It's really really difficult . So nice are definitely harder than others , like I said , but less joint pain .

Speaker 2 3:29

For sure . I definitely feel it in my joints . We've watched a lot of info . Inflammation yes .

Speaker 1 3:38

I've dropped lots of inflammation .

Speaker 2 3:41

So , like my ring has not necessarily fit me , since I was 16 weeks pregnant with Logan and I did the ice a month into the ice baths , my ring and my wedding band fit , but you've also been losing a lot of weight , yeah , over the last four or five months , yes , but it's also .

Speaker 1 3:58

I like to think it's the inflammation . I'm sure it does . I think it does .

Speaker 2 4:04

But I think it's the inflammation .

Speaker 1 4:05

I'm sure it does . I think it does .

Speaker 2 4:07

But oh it helps . But the . So my wedding band didn't fit , my ring fit , my wedding band didn't . And even after the I've lost the weight and it wasn't until I was consistent with the ice bath that my wedding band fit . So that makes you really happy because it's beautiful . I'd love to look at my hand .

Speaker 1 4:29

No , it's sweet , I love it . Um , it's been . No , it's been pretty cool the last few months , kind of watching you , cause you've Like uh , I shouldn't say you've stepped up , because I always kind of feel like that you've been doing good through . I don't feel like you're lazy in any way . I don't want it to come across and be , like the last five months you really stepped up .

Speaker 1 4:55

But what's been cool for me to see is over the last four or five months I've watched you like double down . Sorry if I sound shaky , because I'm literally shivering .

Speaker 2 5:06

It was .

Speaker 1 5:09

Don't call me , it was .

Speaker 2 5:11

You've got this .

Speaker 1 5:13

But no , over the last four or five months you've lost what ? How much weight have you lost ?

Speaker 2 5:19

25 pounds .

Speaker 1 5:20

So you're down 25 pounds , and that's all just been from eating clean cleaner .

Speaker 2 5:28

Cleaner . I shouldn't say clean , because I there's this idea of like losing weight with joy and ease where it's . You're not restrictive , but you're also . You know , you're mindful . You know you're mindful of protein , you're mindful of like nutrition , nutrition intake , but I still indulge in the big gas cookies .

Speaker 1 5:52

So yeah , which I feel like there's got to be a balance of things , because I don't want to cut everything out . I want the bowl of ice cream , I want the big cookies I make .

Speaker 1 6:05

You know , you want , you know I'll make homemade pasta and you want to eat pasta , it's , and it really doesn't matter what . Where you go on online , you're going to find something that somebody saying , saying don't eat seed oils , only drink seed oils . Eat meat , don't eat meat , and it it's almost just more . Finding a balance of what's good , yeah For you , but I but back to my point I just think it's cool , like I this is going to sound bad , but it's , it's the truth .

Supportive Spouses and Parenting Roles

Speaker 1 6:39

I always kind of like especially when we got married up , it was really bad and then over time I always kind of felt like you know , I was the guy working out , I was the guy kind of doing all this stuff . Right , you'd work out , and then you know you'd jump off , you'd jump off , you'd work out , you jump off , and it almost always kind of felt like that I was , I shouldn't .

Speaker 1 7:01

There's really not a good way to put it , because I'm not saying it like you were lazy in any way , but I always felt like , yeah , I'm , I'm riding up here , right ? Yeah , I'm riding high , whatever . And then lately I just felt like I have to do everything I possibly can do to try to keep up .

Speaker 2 7:20

Which is good , it's a nice , and I wouldn't say that it was just like you're better . You're better in a lot of different aspects than me , and like I was never even really considered working out until we got married and it was like the thought of working out like what . I am not a workout working out person , but I'm a runner now .

Speaker 1 7:45

You said you're a runner .

Speaker 2 7:46

I'm a runner , I'm a worker , outer girl . No , it's awesome seeing the flip side of it , because if you weren't already into that , I wouldn't have been where I'm at or be inspired to do what I'm doing right now . And you've been very consistent , or whole marriage consistently going in and being mindful of your nutrition off and on , and that was really inspiring and it was more just like I . If you can do that for this long , I can do that for four months , like yeah .

Speaker 1 8:23

And maybe really what it , what's been so good for me to like watch you is , is we go through waves together , right , there's times you're riding high and there's times I'm riding low and I get to pull inspiration from you to be like , oh , I can , I can step up more , I can keep going more . And then there's times where I'm riding high and you're riding low and you know you don't want to get out of bed in the morning . Yeah , and you know , and I might send you a talk saying hey , I got up at four and the four 30 in the morning and I went in the gym wise and saw like , right and the . The point I'm getting at is I appreciate the aspect that we have where we get a pull from each other to try to make each other better , try to make ourself better , because I don't do anything so that you get better , I'm , I'm not going to the gym going . Okay , if I work out today , then I can guilt my wife and go into the gym .

Speaker 2 9:17

No , and you can't . You can't go into it with that attitude , otherwise you're going to fail every time .

Speaker 1 9:22

Yeah .

Speaker 2 9:24

You have to go into it is how am I going to grow and how am I going to get better ? And you're gonna do what's best for you when your time is right , and I'm not . I don't want the responsibility to make you better . I don't want that . I'm already . I'm already over my head in my own responsibility in making myself better . I'm maxed out . I don't need another kid . I don't need somebody else to be like here's my job . Yeah .

Speaker 1 9:53

But you don't need an adult kid . No , yeah , you don't need your husband to be a little child .

Speaker 2 9:59

No , I don't want to raise you , I don't want to be responsible for you , and I don't want to , you know , and I don't want to do the same to you .

Speaker 1 10:03

I've never , I've never liked the , the like checking up . Did you work out today ? Did you eat healthy today ? Yeah , and it's just like that . So , basically , you know , that's . The point that I'm getting at is that I appreciate that that where it's , we just go do .

Speaker 2 10:20

Yeah .

Speaker 1 10:20

You just go , do you don't ever guilt me into being like I ice bath today . Did you ice bath today ? The only time you ever try to guilt me is when I'm standing there at the edge of the tub , jackhammering and sweating at the same time because the anxiety is so high . I'm about to poop my pants and I'm just like I don't want to do this . This is cause it hurts so bad .

Speaker 2 10:42

You have to not think about the pain . You have to be like I got I can do three minutes . You can do anything for three minutes , yeah . But you've born two babies , so except for the pushing out part , was less than three minutes .

Speaker 1 10:58

That's true , one of them , yeah .

Speaker 2 11:01

The other one , I had an epidural . I didn't feel it , it was just pressure .

Speaker 1 11:03

Oh , that's so rough .

Speaker 2 11:07

I would do it all again . So when I see those the perfect little kids that we made , I'm like man . This is my purpose . And when I reflect at the end of the day and I look at them when they're sleeping , I'm like the pride I honestly feel , like that . It just like it comes out of my skin because I don't know what to do with it . It's so overwhelming , but they are the sole reason I want to do anything and hence the , you know , try to get back on top of my physical aspect and like losing the weight and even ice bathing and reading more . You know doing hard things and now it's just now switching to trying to find a group of people who think the same as me , so that my kids can find inspiration , to find friends that push them .

Speaker 1 12:04

Yeah , the one thing that I really like that you do with kids is they're always right there , always With you , so it's not like you don't um , not saying it's a bad thing , but like you don't wake up early in the morning and go and get everything done out of the day before the kids wake up . Like it might be better to like get your schedule set up that way . Right , it might be easier , but it's cool because Logan gets to see mom go run every day , mom go work out every day , gets to sit out and cheer you on while you do a nice bath every day . So he climbs in after you're done . Sometimes he's just like nah , I'm not today , mom .

Speaker 2 12:46

Yeah .

Speaker 1 12:48

Um , but it's cool cause he's getting . He's getting a reference on not only who does he want to be like , but , down the road , who is he going to want his partner to look like ? Yeah , Because he's going to . It might actually be hard for him to find somebody . His standards might be high .

Speaker 2 13:07

I would hope so .

Speaker 1 13:09

Because you're setting them clear up here . You know it's . The house is always clean . Kids are always fed . Kids are taken care of . They never sit in a poopy diaper Like ever like . Since we've had our first kid it's almost been annoying how often I have to buy diapers other than I know my kids are being taken care of . Right , I've I always come into a clean house . Is it like spotless clean ? No , we got kids .

Speaker 1 13:33

Yeah , but it's always taken care of . Yeah , everything's always taken care of , like for weeks at a time . The lawn gets mowed , things get watered , this thing gets taken care of . I I don't even stress about the house at all , I just go . Kids are taken care of , house is taken care of . All I got to go do is make money and make sure bills are paid . That's it .

Speaker 2 13:57

Yes , except for that , when you come home , it's like here's here's your jobs .

Speaker 1 14:05

The thing I like . Well , there's . There are certain things that I that I really enjoy doing when I'm home , like cooking . I enjoy cooking If there's a massive group of people . It's a lot of work to cook for 20 , 30 people .

Speaker 2 14:17

Yeah .

Speaker 1 14:18

But when it's two , three , four , you can try out new things . You can buy specialty ingredients . You know you , you take extra time . Maybe you make like a brown brother cream sauce with an Alfredo and test that out and you can see . It doesn't have to be perfect . Test different recipes .

Speaker 2 14:33

We're going to tweak this .

Speaker 1 14:34

We're going to change these cookies , we're going to whatever . It doesn't matter , I enjoy that stuff . That's actually one of my . It's the way that I can de-stress . Yeah Is just cooking , as long as I have all the right ingredients . When you're trying to make flour out of eggs or whatever , we don't have half of the stuff that we're supposed to have and we live in the middle of nowhere . So trying to go run on a Sunday , it's an hour and a half .

Speaker 1 15:01

Is like the closest grocery store by the time you go there and back , and Costco is even further . But no , that part's fine . And and then the other part too is I love my kids .

Speaker 2 15:15

Yes , and I love seeing that aspect where , where you come home and you pick up , you pick it up , you help around you , you know you take the kids , you play with them , you take them out with you and it doesn't feel like that I have to remind you . Hey , dad , I need a minute . Hey here's your kids . It's more just like oh , dad's got the kids in the basement , I'm going to go out for a run . Or like , oh , that's point the kids like I , can you know , get some laundry folded , or whatever yeah .

Speaker 1 15:49

And and Logan's easy .

Speaker 2 15:51

Yeah .

Speaker 1 15:51

I mean Kennedy's a little harder . She's a little younger . When she's ready , she's . She's the princess of the house .

Speaker 2 15:58

So she wants something that she gets .

Speaker 1 16:01

And so that that part's fine . But if she's fed and she's happy , she's , she'll what sit ? You sit on the floor and all she does is play with horses .

Speaker 2 16:09

Yeah , obsessed with horses lately .

Speaker 1 16:11

And it's just it's this easy . Yeah , Kids are just . You know , our kids are great yeah .

Speaker 2 16:17

But they also have we I feel like we both do fairly good at this where we try to meet their needs before they're a big deal and so their needs don't go unmet for long periods of time to where they're a wreck and it's more like oh , you know Logan's starting to act out a little bit . Let you know he probably need , he needs some food and to go outside and you know Kennedy's a nap and get outside and to breathe some fresh air .

Speaker 1 16:45

Yeah and well . The other thing , too , is that I just don't like . Neither of us will let the little tears control us .

Speaker 2 16:53

No .

Speaker 1 16:55

Your kids can be monsters , and sometimes our kids are no monsters , yeah , but they're not going to like I don't , I cannot let Logan like try to control us . Some does he cry ? Of course he cries , sometimes he gets sad , sometimes he gets hungry , but instead it's like he's having a meltdown and it's like dude , nobody's going to deal with you till you figure your crap out . So pull back your tears for a minute . What's going on ? You're hurt ? Okay , you're not hurt . You're just angry , oh , okay . Well , you don't get to treat everybody that way just because you're angry and also you're mad , like this morning , pissed off because he wanted ice cream for breakfast .

Speaker 2 17:38

Yeah .

Speaker 1 17:39

So you don't get that for breakfast . I'm sorry , buddy , we would love to give you ice cream for breakfast , but you will be a holy terror for the rest of the day if I do this .

Speaker 2 17:50

The rest of the day , yeah .

Speaker 1 17:53

You know he's mad and it's like you know . I even asked him do you think this is how you get what you want ? And he's like well , I'll be nice . It's like okay , you know , when he tries to put on a fake smile and I'm like buddy , you blew it .

Speaker 2 18:09

Yeah .

Speaker 1 18:11

I'm sorry . You can have ice cream later tonight if you have a good attitude for the rest of the day . If you're hurting , you're sick , I mean there's probably somebody out there . Be like what , whatever ? Yeah , you know there's going to be somebody . You know , and you can bring up a hundred different things . You know your kids , you know if they need something , you know if they're acting out .

Parenting and Raising Capable Kids

Speaker 1 18:32

But one of the things that we both tried really , really hard to do is well one I don't want to hate my kids . So if I find myself disliking them , being like I don't even want you around me for a minute , then you are going to love our kids more than anybody else in the entire world .

Speaker 2 18:55

Yeah , we will .

Speaker 1 18:57

Anybody else . It doesn't matter who they are . We will love them more . So , if I find myself hating my kids . Maybe hates a strong word , but being like I'm very , very annoyed with you , I don't want you around . Yeah , what's everybody else going to do ?

Speaker 2 19:16

Well , I know that other people's kids I don't hold like I don't necessarily if they do something that's irritating to me . I don't want them around me and it's like I like those kids . But I'm not going to put up with that at all . Don't yell at me . If you yell at me one time , we're done . I'm not seeking you out anymore . Yeah , like you come to my house and you scream you're uninvited to come over . Like you're not coming over and I just I'm not going to deal with that . And so I think of my kids . And what behaviors are we allowing and teaching them so that when they grow up and become an adult , are people going to even want them around ? Yeah , we're going to teach them tools to put in their tool belt because at the end of the day , they're going to be productive adults of society . And how can we , at this young of an age , teach and nurture and guide and help them learn the ways of being a productive adult ?

Speaker 1 20:23

Yeah , and what's cool is that we see plenty of people Like we we've got friend groups where we look at their kids and we go man , we really really like your kids yeah .

Speaker 2 20:34

They're great kids , we enjoy them . They're fun , they're funny .

Speaker 1 20:37

They're capable . You know , you take , even like your sister up north , yeah , no , his kid , his kid . What ? How old was Nike when he was driving the quad to go pick up eggs ?

Speaker 2 20:54

I can't remember , but he was like three .

Speaker 1 20:57

I don't like four probably maybe four , yeah , and it's like go get the eggs and he don't . And he's capable enough to do that and he doesn't even . I mean , I watch him with their kids and do they have issues with their kids ? Sure , like , their kids aren't like perfect angels all the time , no , but they're really good kids . They're capable and they're competent .

Speaker 2 21:18

They I mean they have the same normal kid developments that most kids have all kids have . But they have raised very capable kids and I love that aspect and so when I see them I'm like teach me how to parent like you . But I have a couple of sisters that I that I look at and I'm like man I enjoy your kids . How can I raise my kids so that when people hang out with my kids they're like man we enjoy your kids . They're so fun .

Speaker 1 21:53

But you can't . I feel I , I feel like it's hard because we want to give our kids everything yes , we do Right and I feel like that we both basically have had to look at it and be like how , how can we make you capable and competent , even though we want to give you cookies all day long cause we love you ? Yes , which I would argue that if I'm giving my kids everything that they want in the moment and not setting them up for success later , it's not necessarily for them , but it's because it's for me .

Speaker 2 22:32

It's because you feel uncomfortable having to know what the mouth downs , or the tantrum , or half into us saying no because you don't want to be . You want to be a yes parent , which I've seen all over , like Instagram , or yes parents . We say yes 10 times more than we say no .

Speaker 1 22:48

Well , just that's fine . I think that you should say yes , your kids like hey , dad , let's go on a hike . Yes , yes . And now , if it's dad , I want cookies , breakfast , lunch , dinner , nobody , yes . But , you also have to deal with your kid coming up to you , like Logan did to me today . It's dad , you don't get to come to my birthday party . And then he switched it around he's a mom doesn't get to come to my birthday party , only boys . Only boys could come to my birthday party and it's like all right , bud Great .

Speaker 2 23:22

When your birthday party comes around , you're going to be so excited to have everyone there . Yeah .

Speaker 1 23:27

And but I feel like that . I see , you know , you see parents , and you know we're so exposed on social media that you see so much , so much of different people , not just people around you , but everybody else where they're terrified of their kid , hating them . And my job is not to be my child's best friend Like I'm my child's friend , I think my , I think Logan's one of my friends , yes , but at the same time , I play a role as his dad and no one else can play that role , and I'm responsible to him for him to make him into something that , to help him become somebody that will be competent and capable in life later , because life is going to get hard , it's going to get super hard . Life gets hard .

Speaker 2 24:14

It's not going to , it will get hard .

Speaker 1 24:18

And why would I treat him and build this false narrative around him where it's only sunshine and rainbows ? He gets whatever he wants , whether he works for it or not . He gets participation trouble , he gets participation trophies and he just gets to be blissful and peaceful . Constant , I mean , doesn't mean that you go out of your way to make life hard for your kid . No , no , we don't necessarily make life difficult for Logan , but what we do do is we let life happen to him .

Speaker 2 24:52

Yes .

Speaker 1 24:53

And then teach him as he's going across . How do you deal with this situation ? I mean , well , he is bumped up in a hospital at that time when he drove to go to the grocery store in kimchi bag and the professor came home and worked himself out for his lord . Basically , he's working on his family system active . He's done one raul . There's no other way . Let's learn things , and that's why I mean it . It's more than just telling them what to do . That's why I've been more than appreciative of you , as of late I I definitely have in the past , because I've watched you embody what it means to be a mother and wife from the time we got married , which was young , and at the time I didn't . I did not understand . At the time I was an arrogant asshole .

Speaker 1 25:55

At the time I thought she's so lucky to have me .

Speaker 2 26:00

The tables have turned .

Speaker 1 26:02

I mean , it's true there's , there's people that know me , that know that that's the truth . Yeah , Like , and I and I did . I thought that I was just like she's lucky to have me . I had other people telling me that she's very lucky to have you . Yeah , and .

Speaker 2 26:17

Which I feel sad on my part because I had people telling me wow , you're a , you're not very great .

Speaker 1 26:25

And it's so sad to me now and I have to admit her how did I know anything different ? Yes , right Now I look at the mirror and I'm like geez , I'm so happy she's still with me . It's like the older I get , some people age like fine-wined and I'm aging like a warm puddle of water . I just like I feel like I'm just getting uglier and uglier at worse and worse .

Speaker 2 26:53

I definitely don't think that .

Speaker 1 26:55

I mean it should you're transferring into a different role in the things that ? That meant something to you at 20 and 21 , and 22 don't mean anything anymore .

Speaker 2 27:05

And it's just like finding your grounding , though , because you know , when we first got married to , I didn't like From like . I didn't have any health like healthy . My healthy outlet was drinking and partying , and you know your outlet , my , my outlet not healthy outlet , whereas , you know , I didn't have any self-worth at that point . It was , I feel , like I was also .

Speaker 2 27:32

there's a lot of areas where I was in the wrong and I can see that when I think back on those experiences . I'm like man , if I would have been better , things would have worked out better , like turned a little differently . But it makes me grateful because now being where we're at and seeing how much we've both grown makes me grateful that we went through those experiences and that we're no longer in those experiences .

Speaker 1 28:01

Yeah , I think we both have learned a ton . Yes , we're both way better , I mean we're way better at communicating with each other . We're way better at understanding each other . I didn't know how to treat a woman . No Well , I didn't know how to treat a husband like , be like I'm a little girl .

Speaker 2 28:16

Yeah , it was like . You know which it's the ?

Speaker 1 28:19

way it's supposed to be . Yeah , I mean I as Lee . I mean maybe not the way it's supposed to be , but for us it was the way it was and it helped us develop a relationship . We stuck it out through the hard times and now we can start to have a relationship that both of us go . This is fun . Yeah , it's way more fun six years into it than it was six months into it . Oh , so much more fun , yeah .

Speaker 2 28:48

And I mean we're having we have fun .

Speaker 1 28:50

We got good kids . It's enjoyable . As the years go on , the funner it gets for me .

Speaker 2 28:56

The more you know , the better you get at communicating . You know , the more assets that we we get together . And as time goes on , it's just like you , truly , when I think about you , I think of , like my longest dearest best friend and it's like I truly , genuinely just want to be around you all the time . And it's like just even just sitting , not even talking , just like in the comfort of being around you . It's fun and it's just uh , it's just . It's just . It's just , it's just , it's just uh , enjoyable , comfortable .

Navigating Challenges and Growth in Relationships

Speaker 2 29:32

And I'm saying that like we still never go through moments where it's like , man , that was hard to hear , you know .

Speaker 1 29:41

Yeah , or I'm annoyed of you , I mean yeah that happens , but I know what you're saying , cause there's times where I don't want to talk . Yeah , you don't want to talk . We want to lay in bed , both on our phones . Yeah , the other person leaves the room . It's like where did you go ? Yeah , I know we were both on our phones and we weren't doing anything , but like , I just want you here , yeah , and it's like , yeah , yeah , and sometimes it's just waking up before the kids coming down and you know , sitting together and snuggling and having a latte , yeah , it's really enjoyable and it's fun .

Speaker 1 30:16

You get to talk , you get to figure out what you're , where you're going in life , you get to figure out what , where you're , where your direction is , where you are today , what you're struggling with , what you need to help on , and so I mean it's cool .

Speaker 2 30:29

It's been fun . It's fun figuring all that out , but it's also man lots of train of thought .

Speaker 1 30:42

It's alright , but no , so back to the original thing . That's what I mean . Over the last few months of watching you do that , and then you've started to train for . A half marathon Half marathon in the spring , right , yeah , and to start watching . You take that challenge on too .

Speaker 2 31:01

It's been hard , but I really wouldn't do it if it wasn't for our friend and just like having somebody else believe in you with something new , territory , something I've never even necessarily even thought about doing . But , unlike man , I just am so grateful for that friendship because it's she's further along and a lot of aspects in me and it's like you're the person that I can show me and teach me and help me through to become where you're at , and I just love it , because I don't have a lot of friends like that , who are not friends , who are not like better than me , but like friends who are going the direction that I also want to go into .

Speaker 1 31:47

Yeah , in that aspect of Veronica where she might have a marathon or two under her belt . And the furthest you've run , which six ?

Speaker 2 31:56

and a half . Yeah , it was the other day .

Speaker 1 31:58

Which is still incredible .

Speaker 2 32:00

Yes , but it's like the only bit I've ran .

Speaker 1 32:04

But still you're doing that consistently . I mean , even before the podcast you did five , yeah , five miles pushing a stroller .

Speaker 2 32:14

Yes , it's perfect night time for babies .

Speaker 1 32:16

Babies get a nap . You get a run and listen to some and just run and it's challenging , it's awesome yeah .

Speaker 2 32:24

And it's been interesting to see like the phases , like the first couple of miles is just like waves this is hard , I want to be done . Oh , I can push through , I'm feeling good . This is hard , I want to be done . Oh , I can push through , I'm feeling good . It takes a couple of miles to be like oh , we found our groove , we can keep going .

Speaker 1 32:43

It sounds like life .

Speaker 2 32:45

Yeah , it really is . It's just like fast paced life .

Speaker 1 32:52

Yeah , no , I get that . No , it's awesome . I need to actually start getting back into running a little bit . I really hate it .

Speaker 2 33:01

The more I do it , the more I enjoy it .

Speaker 1 33:04

Yeah , you kind of become a maniac lately though .

Speaker 2 33:08

I feel like part of me is just like unlocked . It's like my true colors are starting to come through .

Speaker 1 33:15

Yeah , and you're , you're . Uh , I'm glad it's a healthy outlet , because you are very obsessive by nature where it's like if you're going to drink , you're going to drink everything we have . If you're going to run , you're going to run all the miles you can run .

Speaker 2 33:33

Yes .

Speaker 1 33:35

If you're going to ice bath , you're going to ice bath every day At 27 degrees yeah . Well , that one day was what it was . There was a solid block of ice all the way around it . By the time you got out , the water said 29 because it was moving .

Speaker 2 33:48

So I've had a couple of days at 27 . There was one of the days was a one on a week that you weren't here , but the ice around the thing had thickened up and I could barely fit my hips between the two blocks of ice . It's a 27 .

Speaker 1 34:03

It was really cold , but there's water starts freezing at 32 . It can get below 32 because of that little filter we have in there that moves the water around .

Speaker 2 34:12

Yeah .

Speaker 1 34:13

Which is kind of ridiculous . You don't need it that cold .

Speaker 2 34:16

No , but now 38 and 40 degrees doesn't feel cold enough because it's like I can fill my toes when I'm in the water . So it's like , oh , it's got to be a little colder .

Speaker 1 34:27

That Canadian blood flowing through you .

Speaker 2 34:30

Just handle negative .

Speaker 1 34:32

That's cause your summer . It's still freezing up there .

Speaker 2 34:35

That's not true . It's summer , so nice and nice and toasty out there , but more than anything , it just it really comes back to who do I have to be so that my kids want good things in their life , and the biggest . The only way that I know how to ensure that they're going to be competent , capable human beings is by me being a competent , capable human being and truly showing them that we can do hard things . And I feel like that you show them in a lot of aspects , just like you know also in also in like teasing and joking and having fun Like Logan already has a love for cooking and an enjoyment out of that that you have .

Speaker 1 35:28

Yeah , and he's definitely a tease and he wants everybody to laugh and yeah , and he's a little comedian at heart .

Speaker 2 35:37

Yeah , he is so cute ?

Speaker 1 35:39

No , it's . It's awesome . It's so much easier . I keep thinking back to how important finding a good spouse is . Yeah , I mean , we were always taught that growing up of finding which it was a . It wasn't your duty to find , it's , it's my sound work . But basically you know it was whoever God puts you with . That's who you need to be . There'd be a good spouse . And while I do believe that in a sense , where I think you should be doing things that God wants you to do , right , and basically when you go like to anybody who's unmarried , I definitely , obviously , you believe in higher power , you believe in God , right , and I believe God wants good things for you . So why would you not ask the creator of the universe , the guy who has ultimate power hey , help me find somebody who could be good .

Speaker 2 36:41

Yes .

Speaker 1 36:42

They won't be perfect , then .

Speaker 2 36:43

No .

Speaker 1 36:45

And at the time , especially as a young kid . That's how I kind of you kind , of view it . Well , they'll be perfect .

Speaker 2 36:50

Yeah .

Speaker 1 36:52

And the older I've gotten , the more I'm like . I'm thankful that he put me with somebody to make me better and that we could grow together . Yeah , somebody who was already capable , somebody who was already competent in certain areas , needed help pulling this , but but that's where I was strong and she's strong in areas where I'm weak , and yeah we get a pull together and grow to this area where he can start to become a better human beings .

Speaker 1 37:22

I don't think we've made it at all . We still have struggles , I still get grumpy , you still get grumpy , you still get tired and hungry and I still am an asshole . We have a long way to walk , but it's cool to see that we can come together and walk that pathway .

Speaker 2 37:41

In a healthy , productive way . Um , because I feel like that I could also go the other way , where you know , if you're not willing to or you're not , you know seeing the good in other people and your spouse , you can definitely go the other way . And it's just like man , they make me a worse human being . You know , you know you let those excuses get in the way . But I think , more than anything , it comes from wanting better for yourself . And when you start wanting to better for yourself , your spouse will see that and be like hey , you know , I can see that you're , you know you're out there doing that . I want to be out there doing it .

Speaker 1 38:20

Yeah , where you're not uh . Uh , not to cut you off , uh , but you're not uh doing it , so that they will do it .

Speaker 2 38:32

Yes .

Speaker 1 38:34

Like I don't , I don't go in . Like , let's say , the front room's a mess .

Speaker 2 38:39

Yeah .

Speaker 1 38:40

I don't go and clean up the front room , so that I go . I hope that she sees me cleaning up the front room and then she'll make me dinner . Yeah , you know what I mean .

Speaker 1 38:51

It's not . It's not that it's this needs to be done . I appreciate her .

Sharing Household Responsibilities and Appreciation

Speaker 1 38:57

It's like I've kind of had the same thing with , like , my clothes in the bedroom Cause for the longest time . It's just like I'm a typical husband , I'm going to dress and the clothes almost just kind of drop off into a corner and you know , and you know , magically they get cleaned up , folded . They get taken , cleaned , folded and put in your drawer . I don't know how it happens . I think you should try it sometime , cause it's pretty cool .

Speaker 1 39:26

No , no , really . What it is is , um , do you have enough respect for your spouse that you would take the clothes Like , let's say , I get undressed and instead of dropping them on the floor knowing that you'll come through and clean them up like you always do , do I have enough respect for you to just put them in the dirty clothes ? Amber , yeah , do I have enough respect for you to clean up the front room , like , like we have , like you and I , we have pretty clear to find roles of . I'll do this if you do this , yeah , right , so it was . It was , uh , one of the things we sat down and you told me look , I'll change poopy diapers , I'll take care of kids . I'll feed kids . I'll clean the house . I don't want to work .

Speaker 2 40:13

Yeah .

Speaker 1 40:14

I don't want to worry about paying bills . I don't want to try to go make money .

Speaker 2 40:17

No , I don't so this .

Speaker 1 40:18

This is what I want to do . Yeah , and you don't have to do those things . Yeah , as long as you fulfill your end of the bargain which I thought was a pretty fair bargain I'll go work all day and I will give you all the money that I make and I will donate . I'll take it all . All those , all those coffee runs . But I will do my best to do the responsibility that I am supposed to do , as as a man and a leader of this family .

Speaker 2 40:50

Yes .

Speaker 1 40:51

Right , and that doesn't only mean financial . No that means I'm supposed to protect you guys . I'm supposed to lead , I'm supposed to provide .

Speaker 2 40:59

And part of that of the leading and the providing is also coming in , as you do , and you see that we've struggled , you see that the house needs picked up and you pick up . You pick up the pieces . It's not just like this is your responsibility . You know why is our , why is our dishes and the laundry is not done . It's like , oh , you've had a hard week , let me catch laundry with you and let me do the dishes and I'll take a kid tonight and do you try to get some extra sleep . It's like you pick up as a leader of the family . I feel like that that's part of your role as well . Is what you do ? Like that Pick up the pieces and you and it's not just like cause when we talked about that just like this is my bargain , this is , you know , what you bargained for and you know I is hard keeping up all the time .

Speaker 1 41:52

Yeah , you got two little Tasmanian devils that the one runs , one crawls , and they make messes constantly , all day long . And it's fine , because that's what he's supposed to be .

Speaker 2 42:04

Yeah , we wouldn't want it any other way . No , and the house is pretty clean , so yeah , but I'm just saying like on , like on , and it's not all the time where it's like you have to come home and be like , oh , wow , no it's a rack .

Speaker 1 42:17

There's multiple times . I mean , I've even told people one of my , one of my cherished memories is a is a . I came home from a long week work . It was a Friday night , it was late , it was 9 30 . It was dark and I walked in and the house was clean . Everything was put away . You knew I was coming home . There's a plate of food in the fridge . The house is quiet .

Speaker 1 42:45

I walk upstairs , I peek in Logan's room . He's sleeping . He's in clean jammies . You know I walk up to him . His face is clean . I know his belly was full . Um , you know , I walked . This was before Kennedy was born . But I walk into our room and you're in there . There's tea , candles are lit and you're just sitting on the bed waiting to have a conversation , just waiting to hang out , and that appreciation .

Speaker 1 43:17

I've told multiple people that story because and I've had some people be like well , I had one kid tell me you're lying , that never happened . And I'm like no , it did happen . And he was just like I almost started to tear up . See , this is like that's incredible . I told my dad that story and and uh , and he was like yeah , I know what that's like . He's like cause , that's how your mom is and uh , but that I think that the reason that it made such an impact , where I appreciated it so much was it was because somebody knew I was coming home and took the time out of their day to make sure that it was bliss when I walked in the door .

Speaker 1 44:08

I can come home to a safe , comfortable space where I can decompress from the life outside . I don't have to bring working , I get to come in . It's comfortable . Uh , everything's taken care of . I don't come into an absolute disaster . You know , uh , you haven't been on your phone all day . The house isn't a mess . I know the kids aren't fed . Maybe they're running around screaming . One of them is naked , one of them is breaking plates , like it's just chaos . You're coming from an outside world of chaos into , into chaos . Um , it was just like . This is so nice , this is so incredible that somebody cares enough about me , cares enough about my home and my kids and themselves .

Speaker 2 44:57

Yeah .

Speaker 1 44:58

That they take the time to make sure that laundry is clean , kids' clothes are clean , kids' diapers are changed . They don't have diaper rash because they have an incident of poopy diaper for four or five hours . They're happy , smiling . They want to see dad . They come around and give them a hug . Mom comes and gives me a hug . You know food's good , like everything's , so it goes . All that I did through that week . It doesn't matter what I put up with . It doesn't matter with what guy on what construction job was screaming at you . It was mad at you . It doesn't matter who called you wanted more money . All of it goes . This is all worth it .

Speaker 2 45:40

Yeah .

Speaker 1 45:41

That's it . It's all worth it .

Speaker 2 45:43

Yeah . So my job is to create a space that makes it also worth it for you . A space that's like this is your home as much as it is my home and my children's home , Because , at the end of the day , that's where you provide all of this for us and me to be able to stay home with the kids and the respect that I have that I can do that and that I get to do that . Not just that I have to . I get to stay home with the kids . I get to take care of the home . I get to place the house however I desire and buy whatever decorations that I want . I get to cook whatever food I want , Whatever ingredients I want to buy . I get to buy .

Stepping Up and Personal Growth

Speaker 2 46:29

And when you I feel like flipping it into an appreciation and the gratitude part where it's like I'm grateful that I get , and I don't that I get to do this that I have to have the house clean every day for you or every week when you come home . It doesn't have to be clean .

Speaker 1 46:47

No , I've never demanded that no .

Speaker 2 46:50

But there is an appreciation because you also appreciate it . So it's like when the house is cleaned up and spiked up and there is food ready , it's like I can tell the appreciation that you have for that which makes me want to do it more . Because you appreciate it , Because if I felt like it wasn't appreciated , I wouldn't put the same amount of effort into that . Right .

Speaker 1 47:14

Yeah , I know what you mean , but one thing that I think that's cool is that little thing makes me , gives me a desire to step up more in who I am . Right , I feel like a lot of times you'll talk to spouses or you'll talk to certain people and they want their spouse to change in a certain way .

Speaker 2 47:38

Yes , most people do .

Speaker 1 47:41

And I mean we feel there's things that you do , there's things that I do . You go , man . I wish they would change this certain way . Maybe you go . I really wish he would pick up his clothes . And there's a certain level of communication that needs to be done in that right when you should communicate with and say hey , I would like this thing , this thing's bothering me because you don't want to be bothered by that by that for the next 30 , 40 years of our life , where for 40 years you're picking up my clothes , there's a certain level of communication .

Speaker 1 48:12

But I think oftentimes if you are stepping up and you know you're just trying to do the very best that you possibly can do for your spouse and your family and your kids , and people notice and as you rise , everybody else rises , and especially around you in your circle , like that , that rising boat , when we , when you , when you step up and you're doing ice pass every day and you're running and you're working out and you're you're making sure that you're eating clean and the kids are taking care of , and you're taking who you are and saying I'm going to elevate it to here . I know my responsibility and I'm going to do it to the max .

Speaker 2 48:54

Yeah .

Speaker 1 48:56

I don't sit back and go . Oh , I can just play video games and I can just hang out .

Speaker 2 49:03

We'd leave you in a couple of years . That that was your attitude . I feel like see you .

Speaker 1 49:10

My point is is that it doesn't ? You wouldn't do that ? I don't think anybody would do that .

Speaker 2 49:15

No .

Speaker 1 49:16

Because I wouldn't be looking around and just going . Oh man , my life has it handled , I can just do whatever I want . I look at it and I go . Man , I like , like I was saying earlier , I feel like I'm . I have to catch up .

Speaker 2 49:27

Yeah , but it's yeah . There's also , I feel like when you decide to step up , though , when you decide to change your life for the better for yourself , there's a sense of which I'm kind of going through it a little bit right now is like a sense of loneliness in a way , because it weeds out the people who don't want to rise with you , and not saying that they , like they don't want to rise in the same aspects as me , and so I find myself with not relating or having the same common ground or in the same place as most of my friends , and it's like man . I just , you know , this is where I want to go . I have to keep pushing through to where I want to go and where I want to be , and the only way to do that is just to keep going regardless . But it is like every couple of weeks I'm like man , I haven't seen really anyone for weeks .

Speaker 1 50:36

Yeah , I think I understand exactly what you're saying of walking down a pathway that you believe that you should be walking , and there will be people that you once maybe considered good friends that won't be walking that way with you anymore . And it's not that you dislike them , it's not that you hate them , it's not even that you had a falling out . It's just that you're walking a different pathway . I have some of my best friends in the whole wide world that I grew up with and I don't really talk to them anymore . When we see each other , it's hey , how are you , let's go grab dinner , let's hang out . But they're walking a different pathway than me . They're doing things that not necessarily bad , it's just they're .

Speaker 1 51:25

They went a different direction and it's great and it's just like I'm so happy you get to walk down that pathway , I get to walk down mine , and there has been people that have come into my life that more aligned with my goals and more aligned with who I want to be and more aligned with how I want to be , and that they get to help me .

Speaker 1 51:47

If , if you are the sum total of your five best friends , obviously , as you try to say , I'm going to elevate who I am , I'm going to be disciplined , I'm going to to take the life that I have been given . If you believe in a creator , I believe I have a creator and and I believe that the life that I have been given has been bestowed upon me and my responsibility is to do something spectacular with it , and not and I don't mean spectacular Like I have a massive social media following and people know who I am . I don't consider that spectacular . I look around it and I look at people in the past and I go . They did something spectacular because they were assets to people around them . They raised good kids , they had a wonderful family , they were strong , resilient individuals who did something with their life Productive .

Speaker 2 52:52

They , you know , did something great .

Speaker 1 52:54

Yeah , and , and it is . I think it's your moral obligation to do so .

Navigating Pathways and Developing Relationships

Speaker 1 52:59

So , as you walk this pathway , people will pull away from you because maybe you make them uncomfortable , maybe you don't , you just don't really have anything to talk to you about .

Speaker 2 53:10

Yeah .

Speaker 1 53:11

And where , where they're going through and what they're walking through . You're like bro . I dealt with that years ago .

Speaker 2 53:16

Yeah .

Speaker 1 53:18

Or that's just not pretty interesting to me . I mean you could sit down and tell me how you're going to bake sourdough bread and how , how it's perfect If you add this much steam or you add this much and you let it rest and you get this many stretch and fold . I mean you're kind of a Nazi when it comes to that and we go to leave for Canada and you bring your sourdough with you because you it has to be a stretch and fold every 15 minutes for six hours .

Speaker 2 53:41

The problem was is it was already started . If I didn't already start my bread before we decided to go , it went to sort of bread before we left .

Speaker 1 53:49

I know , but I just found it funny because a lot of people have been like screw the bread .

Speaker 2 53:54

No , never screw the bread . We don't screw the bread over here .

Speaker 1 53:58

But instead you take it and you're sitting in the front street stretching and folding your sourdough so that it'll be prepped and ready by the time we get to Canada .

Speaker 2 54:06

It was good , it was delicious .

Speaker 1 54:07

It was . It was delicious , but that's my point .

Speaker 1 54:09

If you don't really like sourdough , if you have no interest in sourdough and somebody just wants to talk about sourdough , you're going to be like I'm not very interested in them , yeah , and , and their sourdough aspect , maybe they , maybe we can talk about something else , yadda , yadda , whatever . But maybe you find somebody who really likes sourdough . You can then sit down and you start to develop a friendship and a bond with them , and I think that's more what you're saying is you're you're walking down this pathway and you'll go through a point to where you start to feel alone . But you will start to quote unquote attract people that are walking that same pathways . You , obviously , because they're going to be interested in the same things that you're interested in .

Speaker 2 54:49

Yeah , I think maybe too it's which I was just thought about and a good way for me to learn to talk about things I'm also not interested in as part of like developing that communication and you know , being able to talk about and sit and have a good conversation with something that really does not spike interest with me anymore , cause I could try to do that , something like that .

Speaker 1 55:16

Yeah , and , and I think you might learn , learn something . Maybe it does , maybe it ignites a fire and you have something that's super interesting . I mean me and my me and my brother do it all the time where he's talking about this new welding piece of equipment . It's like , I'll be honest with you , I couldn't care less about welding .

Speaker 2 55:38

Yeah .

Speaker 1 55:39

I think it's cool that you can do what you can do . You know you're showing me pictures of these awesome bent railings and I'm like that's awesome . Yeah , like I . I'm so happy that that you found something , that you go look what I created .

Speaker 2 55:56

I can talk with us for a solid hour .

Speaker 1 55:58

Yeah , and over there going . That's nice bud , it's a couple of metal sticks I . I could school but I wouldn't spend any more time than it's cool . But then I could go and talk about a different way to cook something . And he's like bro , just feed me . Don't tell me how you made it , just put it on a plate and I will enjoy it . Yeah , right , I , I .

Speaker 2 56:28

I understand a hundred percent what you're trying to say we get more into that space where it's like being able to have that , that conversation in in aspects that aren't really like my specific interests or like where I necessarily want to go , without wasting too much time or without losing focus of where I still want to go and where I still want to be , because there is still value in , you know , those friendships that I have , while still trying to find and re-attract the people that are where I want to go .

Speaker 1 57:03

Yeah , and I definitely don't think that you should like and I think that's what you're saying you shouldn't like cut friendships off . No , you're like I they're not going where I want to go . We're whacking you off , like , because people have so much value and they give you so much in life to have friends around and everybody needs friends . Yeah , they do and but no , I know what you're saying , but the I think that you still have to . You just pursue down your own path , start walking down your own path , whatever pathway that is . You will start running into people that are walking that same pathway , that will start walking it with you and they may walk for a while and then they may jump off the path and they may go a different way and you might find run into somebody else and I think it's cool and it's been . It's been a heck of a while for a time . That's my phone . It's not kids yet , but waiting for one of our kids to come crying , but so far they've been really good .

Speaker 2 58:11

Yeah , I've been looking up windows , so you know cause .

Speaker 1 58:13

We've been in an hour .

Speaker 2 58:14

Yeah , I've been looking at the windows , so you have Kenny's going to come over .

Speaker 1 58:18

But no , um , I think it's awesome . Yeah , All of that I just like life's pretty great , Especially right now . I mean , I haven't done one of these in a while .

Speaker 2 58:33

No , you got to be more consistent .

Speaker 1 58:34

Yeah , we're , we're going to try , I'm going to try . I had a hard time , um , well , it's a couple of reasons and they're not excuses , because at the end of the day , it's I fell off the wagon and got undisciplined with it after the last one . And I got undisciplined in a few different aspects , like I'm not near as consistent working out as as I was in the fall , yeah , and I get winter blues every year , right , like everybody does . So that's not , it's not a good excuse not to maintain the path that you should be walking . Um , but I also kind of felt like I was .

Speaker 1 59:11

I had said everything I needed to say at that moment . And then the other thing that was very , very strange and that I did not expect to come out of the podcast area when I was in the podcast , because it wasn't just the podcast . I was doing like 10 other things at that time , yeah , where I was working out consistently . I was walking a pathway where I was doing everything in a day that I said I'm going to do , whether it was sending a text to somebody , whether it was working out , yeah , it was eating clean , it was putting money away , it was trying to build relationships .

Speaker 1 59:49

It was all different , like your cores of your life . I was just taking care of it all .

Speaker 2 59:57

Yeah .

Speaker 1 59:58

And this is going to sound weird , but I felt like I was on a jet , just goes fast . And we were about to take off Like we were . The engines were fired up and we were taxing to the runway . Yeah , and people might go like what do you mean ?

Speaker 1 1:00:19

And I can't explain it . But just like I did five podcasts Okay , I want that to be clear I did five podcasts . It's like a month of podcasting , right , I put work in for 60 days . I had money start flowing to me from outside of the podcast space but because of the podcast , yeah , people that were reaching out saying , hey , I want you to come do work for me , which was wild to me .

Speaker 2 1:00:52

Yeah , Well , I think that that also just goes to show that when you do the things you know you're supposed to do and you follow through with your commitment , life starts working for you .

Speaker 1 1:01:08

Yeah , but it was absolutely terrifying .

Speaker 2 1:01:11

It's scary .

Speaker 1 1:01:12

Because I sat back and I looked at it and I went I'm literally about to watch everything I've ever wanted start to flow at me and it was like abort , abort , we're going back or crash , just take care of . Like things were coming at me and it was just like take care of this , take care of this , take care of this . And you start dropping everything , just saying I just need to take care of what I have right .

Speaker 2 1:01:34

And you started like shrink back into this .

Speaker 1 1:01:36

Yep , this small mindset of I got to shrink back in , don't ? We're not messing with anything . Yeah , kids out there , what .

Speaker 2 1:01:43

I was just pulling in .

Speaker 1 1:01:45

Oh , so is it , jason .

Speaker 2 1:01:51

Yeah .

Speaker 1 1:01:52

I'll text him no , so basically , that was just . That was just .

Speaker 2 1:01:57

the point that I wanted to make is that you screw yourself over because you start thinking that you're not meant for this or that it's too fast , too soon , where I feel like with anyone it's always going to be too fast , too soon . It's always going to just come at you when you're putting in the work . And I mean I've even had people like where I because I was posted on Instagram of like the kids and just like little little thoughts that I have about like parenting or like going outside or whatever , and I've had tons of people be like . That is so inspiring that you don't let your kids hold you back or stop you from doing the things that you want to do . Instead , my kids come along , they come with .

Speaker 1 1:02:46

Bring your mic a little bit closer to your mouth .

Speaker 2 1:02:48

Is that better ?

Speaker 1 1:02:49

Yeah , yeah , I know , I know exactly what you're saying . The other thing that was absolutely shocking to me , which you would think it would be motivation to continue by just scary , it was , scary , it was scary , and then you kind of get out of it and then getting back into it , that initial force to get back into it is it requires a lot of force .

Speaker 2 1:03:10

Hopefully this is the first yeah .

Speaker 1 1:03:13

And it's like I told somebody look , I'm going to shoot for like once a month .

Speaker 2 1:03:16

Yeah .

Speaker 1 1:03:17

Because I don't , I don't want to do once a week .

Speaker 2 1:03:19

But once a week .

Speaker 1 1:03:20

Yeah , maybe once every other week We'll see if we get gas . Like , but I don't want , like I don't want to do it alone for one , like I like having a conversation and I think that yeah . I'll probably have one with you more .

Speaker 2 1:03:34

Which I think that would be fun .

Speaker 1 1:03:36

And I think it'd be fun .

Quality Time in Parenting

Speaker 2 1:03:37

It gives us an hour to sit down and have a conversation without without kids interrupting or other people , and we've also like I mean setting that time apart , like we could have more conversations with her , with just us , if we set that time apart and be like kids are being babysat for an hour .

Speaker 1 1:03:54

Yeah , you just hanging out because it's yeah .

Speaker 2 1:03:57

Yeah , but it's hard to do that one . We want to spend time with the kids as well .

Speaker 1 1:04:00

Yeah , I enjoyed the kids .

Speaker 2 1:04:03

And I think that was the first time that we were , that was just us . We would want the kids to hang out with us , yeah .

Speaker 1 1:04:10

So , but the other thing that was quite surprising for me is how starving it feels like people are for people talking about just how to be better . What you're doing like all of my content , so to speak , is is just my life . Yeah , I'm living . It's just me walking this way . Hey , I'm trying to be a good dad , I'm trying to take care of my kids I got a couple of kids , you know . I'm trying to take care of my wife , I'm trying to build relationships , I'm trying to make money All these different things that you're just talking about .

Speaker 2 1:04:47

And doing the best that you can with what you have .

Speaker 1 1:04:50

Yeah , and people are starving for it , and , and then it shouldn't have been surprising , because I am too .

Speaker 2 1:04:58

Yeah .

Speaker 1 1:04:58

I'm starving for it . And people doing it out in the real world , that that you know , you're listening to and you go , they're almost a little bit of your heroes . Like you know , somebody who I listen to a lot is like Choco willing , right , I just go . He's . He's a fantastic leader , all of his kids like him . He's healthy . He's , you know , 50 something years old , but he works out every day and he's and he's super , super disciplined and he's not a man , he's a maniac , don't get me wrong . Not like one of these social media maniacs , right when , where you kind of think that they probably go home and get , get cussed out by their wife and they have a few drinks before they go to bed and then they get up the next morning and they put on this whole facade . Right , yeah , cause there's plenty of those guys too .

Speaker 1 1:05:43

Yes , but you have some of those people like the other guy that I really like is like Cam Haines .

Speaker 2 1:05:48

Yeah .

Speaker 1 1:05:50

And that that to me over the last year was one of the biggest eye opening is starting to follow that guy on social media and reading his book and and kind of watching him . Because you take a guy that worked in nine to five . He worked for the state or the county .

Speaker 2 1:06:05

Yeah .

Speaker 1 1:06:07

Um , normal , as normal of a life as I've lived , right , yeah , he just loves bow hunting and he had three kids . And because this guy's put , put , put work in , here comes our baby . Oh , is this our baby ? Okay , we'll wrap this up after this . But because this guy puts work in his one kid running marathon and jeans set in world record for pull ups , he has one kid that's , you know , uh , helping run a company , a pretty big supplement company , and he has another kid that's a green beret and then his daughter is getting out of high school and he's a runner and is even just starting to do amazing thing .

Speaker 2 1:06:47

Yeah , and this guy's applied himself and it also goes to show is like when you put in the work , your kids follow . Yeah , when you are someone you want your kids to be , they will be . You have to show them , though .

Speaker 1 1:07:03

Yeah , you have to be able to put in the work .

Speaker 2 1:07:05

You have to show them the kind of person you would be proud of .

Speaker 1 1:07:10

And that's been very , very prevalent in in in watching Logan , yeah , and the way he reacts is the way he reacts . How I handle myself is how he handles himself . Our baby's coming in .

Speaker 2 1:07:22

Yep .

Speaker 1 1:07:23

Okay , Well , we're at like an hour and 10 , which is great . That's a good , that's a good run . It was good . No , it was a good , a good initial back into it and and thanks for agreeing to do this with me . We've been trying for a while .

Speaker 2 1:07:38

We have tried a couple of times today .

Speaker 1 1:07:39

I've just never worked out but that's perfect . No , we'll try it again , and maybe this is the force to get me back into podcasting .

Speaker 2 1:07:46

It will be , so you'll get all of the but thanks for being you and it's fun .

Speaker 1 1:07:53

Thanks for it again , thanks for keep kicking ass , so okay .

Speaker 2 1:07:56

Okay .

Speaker 1 1:07:57

Okay .

Speaker 2 1:08:07

We'll see you in our next episode .