Midlife Madness Podcast

Navigating Midlife Emotions: Overcoming Anxiety, Sadness, and Embracing Joy

• Martha Savloff, Dr Marty Nalda, Dr Donna Pontoriero

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Have you ever felt overwhelmed by the emotional ups and downs of midlife? Today, we get real about the often unspoken feelings of anxiety, sadness, and fatigue that come with the perimenopausal phase. We open up about our personal journeys, exploring how these hormonal changes can disrupt daily routines and productivity. We also touch on hormone replacement therapy (HRT) and its potential benefits, emphasizing how common these experiences are and the importance of addressing them openly and honestly.

Rediscovering oneself amidst the roles of spouse, parent, and professional is no easy feat. We dive into the necessity of carving out personal time and nurturing friendships, especially for women. Through an inspiring story, we celebrate a friend who chased her dream of becoming a registered nurse later in life. This powerful anecdote serves as a reminder that it's never too late to pursue your passions and that balancing personal goals with life responsibilities is essential for happiness and fulfillment.

Finding joy in midlife is about more than just managing responsibilities—it's about making room for what truly brings you happiness. We share our own stories of learning new skills and overcoming challenges, stressing the importance of prioritizing joyful activities. Furthermore, we address the distractions of modern life, like social media, and suggest ways to take inventory of your time to foster happiness and reduce anxiety. By embracing midlife changes with a positive mindset and supportive relationships, we believe that this phase can be incredibly rewarding and fulfilling. Join us as we navigate these topics and more, sharing actionable steps to make midlife "mad good.

Speaker 1:

Welcome to Midlife Madness, where we get unfiltered and brutally honest about our midlife years. I have a feeling of feeling overwhelmed during our midlife years, like you know. Today I want to let's get transparent, right. Let's get deep and hit that emotional side of like the life changes in our midlife madness and hit that emotional side of like the life changes and I live midlife madness there's. There is so many people that I've talked to that they feel overwhelmed. They it's like the spectrum of things, right. You can feel overwhelmed, you can feel anxious, you can feel anxious, you can feel depressed, like the the different types of those types of feelings sadness yeah, it kind of.

Speaker 2:

It kind of just rolls into each other yes, it does.

Speaker 1:

um, I I remember how I think it was like well, it was before I started HRT, so it must have been like five or six months ago that I felt like weird. I felt I'm usually like the the cup, you know, half full person. Yeah, that cheerleader kind of you know conqueror, we're gonna make this happen, cheer all the things. And I remember having one day that I felt like super overwhelmed. I had to do like an inventory of what's going on in my life and like, dude, my life is awesome. Like I don't understand why you feel this way. Yeah, right, weird. Has that happened to you?

Speaker 2:

oh, you know, and and the same exact thing, and um myself and Dr Marty, who's not here today, but we both started HRT um before you, um, and I felt that way, and you know me, I'm the early riser right the 4, 35 o'clock am.

Speaker 1:

I don't know if you'clock, consider that early, that's like.

Speaker 2:

That's like middle of the night riser I mean I bet there's a lot of other people on that are listening to this podcast that are like, yeah, me too, 435 o'clock, but I'm ready to take on the day at that time.

Speaker 2:

And then I just started feeling like, okay, I'm gonna get up, I'm gonna have my coffee, but I wasn't moving, I wasn't getting it in gear and I kept saying to myself what the heck is going on, why I have all this stuff I want, I need to get done and I need to get done, and then I'll do it tomorrow.

Speaker 2:

Let me just take a break, I'll do it tomorrow. And I just kept going and going and going and I noticed such a difference when I started getting all this stuff under control and got my hormones all straightened out. And then I started getting back into my routine and then starting to feel good. But it takes a little bit for you to get those hormones adjusted and there are dips and there are this, and so it's so important to know and understand how you're feeling, because then I dropped down and I started experiencing that again and of course, I had to get that readjusted. But it's an overwhelming feeling that's the best way to describe it when your normal routine and what you're used to doing you just don't do it anymore.

Speaker 1:

You don't feel like doing it feel like doing it right.

Speaker 2:

It's hard to describe yeah, you don't have that, you don't have that, and it's like how do you get that back?

Speaker 1:

yeah, I think that there's like multiple things that women go through. Um. I was reading an article from mayo clinic that that um that talked about that talks about this topic, um, and it was saying that you know when, when women are going to the perimenopausal phase and the hormones start going erratic, they're like fluctuating all over the place, that, um, over a sudden, there's an onset of all these type of emotions and these type it. It triggers this, this thing of feeling this way, and I think that, if we break it down, there's different things that people, that women are feeling and it happens to men too, by the way but but there's like the sadness, and then there's the overwhelmness and the guilt, the yes, guilt.

Speaker 1:

There's anxiety, there's depression, and then there's also like, like you said, dr Dada, you know I got things to do Right, that's one thing right. I got things to do that, got things to accomplish. That you know you were up ready to go at 4.30 in the morning to go tackle these things and then, all of a sudden, you don't have that energy, that drive to go and tackle it and be productive in the day. I think there's different lanes. There's also the feeling of of sadness and overwhelm in the sense of like you're not happy with life but because you don't feel that sense of accomplishment anymore.

Speaker 2:

You know it's. It's almost like like I don't know about anybody out there, but I have my lists right, and so I write my list. I'm a pen and paper person. I'm which Martha laughs because I have my sticky notes, I have my, my list and at the end of the day you had such a feeling of accomplishment and you know that everything is off your list. For me, I was finding that nothing, or not even close to half of the things were off my list where my usual routine was okay, this, this, this and this is done. And now I'm, I'm getting ready to start fresh for the next day, and that was happening, and it becomes depressing, yeah.

Speaker 1:

You know it's, it's incredible how how life works right. Like that's, that's your story and that's that's what you've walked through. My story is, like I said earlier, is I? I feel kind of like like not happy with life. You know, like it's, I don't know, I wasn't, I wasn't I don't want to sound like I was like super miserable in my life, but it was like um, like I don't know, something missing or something you know it's almost like you lose your purpose yeah, and then I was like I had to to to really break through that and and and do an inventory of my life, because my life, thank God, oh my gosh, I'm so grateful.

Speaker 1:

My life is good, Like I have amazing. I have amazing grandkids. My husband is like you know from heaven, Like he's amazing. I have amazing businesses. You know business partners, you know church life. My spiritual life is awesome. You know I there's really nothing I have nothing to complain about. Really Like, is there things that I still want to accomplish? Yes, Life is good, you know, yeah, and I still felt that way and it was so weird. It's all. It was all coming from hormonal imbalance. It's so. There's like so many different feelings that women can can feel and meant to, uh, but women can feel from these hormonal imbalances and then there's things that make it worse yeah there's things that that that article that I was reading it says.

Speaker 1:

It says, and I'm gonna read some of it, because I mean, we're all at one point have experiences, but interrupted or poor sleep is one you know, um anxiety or history of depression, so like if somebody has has had that you know, magnifies.

Speaker 1:

It magnifies, yeah, stressful life events, right. So if there's some type of life event that has changed, um, that made like a major change in their life, can be another one, uh, weight gain. Weight gain is a big one because, um, I've I've seen and I'm sure you have too, donna, in your office, you know women that come to us because they've been skinny their whole life and all of a sudden, through the menopausal right, they've gained all this weight. They don't, they don't understand why, and they get depressed, they get sad yeah, their diet hasn't changed.

Speaker 2:

And then they, they start waking up and their pants don't fit and they have, uh, you know, uh, lumps and bumps on their legs of of cellulite, and they're where did this come from? And and it just, it just adds to it.

Speaker 1:

Yep, it makes them sad because now their body's changing. Especially women, that that have always been on top of their physique, like how they look. Yeah, especially during the stage of their life, the fat migrates over to the lower abdominal area, which drives all women crazy. So they could have been a stick their whole life and all of a sudden they have this bump down there and it's that pooch, and we hear it all the time.

Speaker 2:

I have this belly now that I never had before, not even when I had my kids. I'm at the weight of when I gave birth to my first child. You know, and you did the right thing by you. You, you took a step back and you took inventory. A lot of times we, as women, we don't do that Right, because because we, we, we kind of get stuck in that hole because it it mushrooms, it steamrolls. You get stuck in that hole and and you have to take a step back and inventory your life, like you did, because it's really important, because a lot of the good things outweigh some of the things that are happening to you physically and emotionally.

Speaker 1:

Yep no-transcript. For sure. And and our psyche can play tricks on us, you know, and can make us get, you know, feel worse. Yeah, the reality of the situation versus you know some psychological thing and we have to be able to capture that and pivot and redirect ourselves. You know.

Speaker 2:

also, there's another one here that says, uh, menopause at a younger age I've seen oh, I have seen that too, and I'm glad you brought that up because I'm seeing that more often now like menopause at a younger age where, um, you know, now, the, the young, the young ladies, the young girls are starting their their cycle earlier, like nine or ten years old. Yeah, I, I am predicting that they're gonna start menopause earlier. You're only given so many eggs, you know, and so you, I, but I see it more and more, and a lot of women who've had hysterectomies early on in life, young women like they had to have a hysterectomy, surgical removal, like clinically yeah, clinically induced um, menopause it's.

Speaker 1:

It's very common I see it all the time in the office, too common. They deal with multiple things um, that makes them feel sadness and and overwhelmed and depression and that's like maybe they didn't have the opportunity to have children, right, right, those, those are like that falls under the stressful life event, right, the life event that they have to. They have to work through the emotions of you know that they may not be able to have to give birth. You know to be pregnant, give birth children by adoption, and this and that and the other, but I'm sure there's a process that they have to go through to heal from that.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, but you know the other thing too about going through that, like we have us you you know, you, myself and Dr Marty, we always talk about our. You know the different things that we're going through. We're all about the same age. But if you're going through this early at 40, your friends you know 38, 39, 40, you may not be going through, your friends may not be going through. So you may not have that girl talk, that outlet to talk about that outlet to talk about.

Speaker 1:

That's so true. You know there's so many different things that can contribute to why women are feeling this way, like they feel these types of emotions, and you know it's definitely. You know this is the Midlife Madness podcast, right? So it's definitely something that women go through through their midlife. It's definitely something that women go through it through their midlife. Other other things that are that are that are triggers is like women that they're, they're become empty nesters.

Speaker 2:

That's another one, that's a big one, and you're seeing it now because a lot, of, a lot of like this is the time, this is the time period. Kids have gone for college, they've gone, you know. Now they're home, women are home with their husbands that they've never been alone with you know their kids are not in the house, and so maybe your spouse doesn't understand what you're going through too. That makes it harder as well.

Speaker 1:

Well that you know that that goes along with purpose, because while you were raising your children, a lot of the purpose, a lot of the time consumed.

Speaker 1:

The focus was on the children Was raising your kid right. Yeah, your children are flying and now your purpose is is changing, because now you you've raised your kids to the best of your ability and now you have to trust that whatever you taught them, they need to put it in action and practice and allow them the space to go and fly and make their decisions and and do all the things that we had to do different, and so it's like, okay, um, so now, what like now, what now there's?

Speaker 1:

a little piece of my life, that that now there's a void. How do I fill that? And so some women go through the feeling of um, their purpose is no longer there, especially when my husband, I, got married, we, we, we made a promise to each other. And when, when gus and I, when we do marital counseling because we do that, we love to do that we, especially for young, young couples we tell them, we remind them that the, the unit is the husband and the wife, the children, the children become part of the life, but not the life, not the life. They're part of their life.

Speaker 2:

Right, yeah, that's some great advice.

Speaker 1:

That's some really good advice there that you don't really think about right, because what happens is a lot, of, a lot of uh, parents, and it's very common in with the women, the mother, that the, the children become such that, like the focus point of their life, the number one thing, and you know the, the couple stopped, they stopped dating. Yeah, they forget who they are like, right, right, so the woman is going through life changes, but so is the man.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, it's different, but it's different because if you, if the man is the one that has a career and a job and the mom was home, a stay-at-home mom, maybe she gave up her career to raise her children, which I think that's a wonderful thing, but I feel like you should have a game plan, because it's eventually going to happen, right?

Speaker 1:

And when those children are no longer there, then what we find when we do the theital counseling is like oh, you're still here. Like who are you? They? Yeah, they, who now? Now it's the, the mom and the dad alone now what?

Speaker 1:

are you? Yeah, right, and and now they either have to stop, start dating again or there's two different people and all this stuff happens and now the marriage is at stake, right? So the, the children is part of the life, not the life, because you still have a life outside of those children. Yeah, they're gonna. Hopefully you've raised them to to the point that they're gonna be really great people in society and they fly on their own and they're very successful, because that's the whole point, right, like you're raising your kid and then, when they go, it's time for you to live life.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

I don't think there's any parent out there that has children with the intentions of them not being successful. I think everybody's focus is I'm going to raise good kids that are going to be focused. They're going to be successful. I think that is every single parent's attention, right Intention on there. But, you have to remember, like you just just said, the life is with the husband and the wife don't lose your identity. Don't lose your. That's it.

Speaker 1:

Don't lose your identity, a hundred percent wrong with the identity, even when you get married. You know before you your marriage and you know even even people that are not married, because you can lose your identity with your career. Your career can become your life, you with your children and with your, your relationships. You know there's other things that can steal your identity and then, when those things are not there, yeah, and you lose your identity and you don't know where to turn, right or left. And now you have to figure out who you are once again.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I'm a firm. I'm a firm believer in his time, her time, your time together and your family time together. I'm a firm believer in that. I think it's important. Um, I I just I can't stress that enough and for you women that are out there that are struggling, you know, I think you know, maybe you need some time with your girlfriends you know, whether it's going out, you know, to dinner, whether it's meeting for coffee in the morning, whether some type of routine that you do with your girlfriends.

Speaker 2:

I think that's really, really important really important.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, absolutely, you know. You're the desires of your heart you know, what you've, you've, you've always wanted to accomplish. I spoke to a friend yesterday. I I am so proud of her. I hadn't, I hadn't spoken to her like in, I would say, at least five years. Wow, that's me out of the blue, and I was so excited because I love her. You know, time flies right. We're busy, it's true.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

We were catching up and she's, I think. I think she's a little bit older than me, so I think she's in her fifties. I don't know, but she's around my age I'm 49. So it's either in the late 40s or 50s yeah so we were catching up.

Speaker 1:

I said so. So what are you doing and what's going on in your life now and this and that? And she's like I'm going to nursing school. I'm like what? You're going to become an RN. And she's like, yeah, I thought, and what she said was I. My whole entire life, I've always wanted to be an RN and at our age she went back to school to be an RN. I think that's so.

Speaker 2:

I give her a lot of credit for doing that. I give her a lot of credit because I think back. I think that's awesome and I admire people that do that. I think as you get older you lose brain cells, you know, and so that way for sure I know, especially menopause. But but to go back to school, especially in like the health sciences, it really takes a lot of dedication, a lot of brain power to do it, you know.

Speaker 1:

But that was her vision and nurse. So I'm doing an accelerated program and I'm I only have like four semesters to go. I was like that is so great. It's so great, it's not late, right, like no part of the. One of the things that trigger people to to experience these emotions, like the sadness and the overwhelm and all these types of things, is that they think that they're in the in the latter years of their life and it's too late to go and conquer the desires of their heart. Like what is it Right? What is it what? What is that thing that you've always wanted to do? I'll tell you one of the things that you've always wanted to do. I'll tell you one of the things that I've always wanted to do and then I'll tell you what I've always wanted to do.

Speaker 1:

I'm gonna do it. I've always wanted to play drums my whole entire life.

Speaker 2:

That is so funny. Go take the drum lessons, because I have always wanted to learn how to play the piano, and I'm actually looking at a set of drums one time and I love them so much that I didn't take lessons.

Speaker 1:

I didn't know how to play it and at that time I would. I had, I was in ministry and we were doing a garage sale and my husband begged me to put the drum set in to. He's like please sell the drum set. And I'm like no, no, no. He's like please sell it. And I and I I said okay, fine, if by the end of the garage sale it's not sold. It was meant for me to keep if it was sold.

Speaker 1:

Then it was sold right sold obviously we're trying to to um, to collect, you know, gather money for the ministry. I might find out. I'll sacrifice it for the ministry, right? Yes, it's obviously sold and I'll never forget that. And I, I am still determined that Martha Sadlove will be playing drums.

Speaker 2:

Well, I'll tell you what let's get on it. You get drum lessons, I'll get piano lessons. Maybe we can talk, dr Marty into doing this. And we'll have our Midlife Madness band. Yes, that would be.

Speaker 2:

But you know what, You're right and and and it. A lot of times different things get in your way and you put it off. I'll do tomorrow, I'll do tomorrow. I am, I'm literally actively seeking, uh, you know, uh, a place where I can get lessons. It's got to coordinate with my schedule, you know, and I have to make sure I 100% commit, which when I, when I do something, I usually do 100% commit with it. But yeah, I'm looking into it right now. So funny, you said that.

Speaker 1:

I love that. You know those are things that bring joy to our hearts. Yes, and we need to do those things Like, yeah, you guys are watching or listening. Please earmark time to do things that bring joy to your heart, like you're worth it. I promise you, if you're working 15 hours a day, you know, if you work 14 hours a day because you're earmarking one hour, nothing's gonna change. Like, first of all, you, we need to balance your work life a little bit, but, um, earmark time. I, I promise you, we, I I always say is, we all have our 24 hours of the day right in the day. Yeah, it's. It's up to us what we do with those 24 hours are you?

Speaker 1:

great. Do you have things that that feed joy to your life, or is it all always stress, stress, stress, stress, stress, because then there's imbalance in that too that causes all sorts of other issues for ourselves. Right, and so do inventory. Like, not only inventory. So we were talking about doing inventory of things how life is actually good, so we can trigger that and encounter that emotion of feeling this way but also do inventory of, I call your life agenda. What are you investing your hours in, and are those things that you're investing your hours in producing a return of the investment that is life-giving or is, you know, life stressing? Right, like, like what are you?

Speaker 1:

saying yeah, and we, we help people at inspire to do that actually, because if it's too stressful, then they gain weight or they they have a hard time losing weight, and so life, life inventory is super important. You're feeling this way.

Speaker 2:

Listen, I had um, it could be the silliest thing, right, that that you want to do that. You can't do that. Something is stopping you from doing. I will never forget.

Speaker 2:

I had this older woman that came into my office oh gosh, probably about, maybe about seven years ago, maybe eight years ago, and she was in her early sixties and she said you know. I asked her, I said you know, and she had about maybe 45 pounds to lose and I said is there anything that this weight is keeping you from doing? And she says yes, she goes. I want to ride a bike again. I'm very uncomfortable riding a bike. She goes.

Speaker 2:

I used to love riding my bike and I just can't do it anymore. And that's the first thing that she goes. That brought me joy to do that, and it doesn't have to be learning how to play the drums, it doesn't have to be learning how to play the piano. It can be something simple. Well, I will tell you that she lost that weight and she would come into the office regularly just to stop by on her bike, because she lived locally and it just made her so happy to be able to get onto her bike and go for a bike ride. It's a simple thing. Look we, we all know that, yes, we have to work because we have adult things going on bills, mortgages, things like that but you have to have some kind of pleasure, something that brings you joy, something that you're working for. Does it mean spending a lot of extra money? It's just time. Make that time, whether it's an hour a day, whether it's an hour a week, whether it's 15 minutes, something for you.

Speaker 1:

Absolutely something for you.

Speaker 2:

Absolutely. I'm reading, I've noticed like lately.

Speaker 1:

Um, I love reading a book, yeah, yeah, we've noticed. I actually texted Dr Marty. When I'm like I'm at the, I'm at the beach and I don't want to do social media like social media is just, it's too much for me right now. I just don't. I've decided that I'm not going to scroll.

Speaker 2:

It gives you anxiety. That's one thing ladies also out there, I'm glad you brought that up. Like I'm finding that when I'm scrolling it gives me anxiety, you know, because you're looking at all this stuff and you're like you know what. I'm on the computer enough during the day, between meetings and between work and between this and between that, and I have to draw the line when I get home. Now, you know, and sometimes I don't even respond to text, as you guys have probably noticed, because I've done a commitment to myself that hey, past this time. This is the time I'm going to be home, this is the time where I'm going to regroup and this is the time where I spend time with my family.

Speaker 1:

Yep.

Speaker 2:

And no, no phones.

Speaker 1:

Absolutely, I create those boundaries. I I've noticed that that social media is kind of impacting me a little bit, especially these days. It's just so much crap out there and yeah, and I I texted Dr Brian like cause I know she, she reads, she's a reader.

Speaker 1:

She's an avid reader and I sent me a fiction book that you love. I don't want, I don't want, i't want, I don't, because I we both you and I, and I know dr mari does too we were constantly learning, right, so we're reading either business things, things that we learned from yeah, things that we can learn to also help our health coaches. You know, also with education, like I'm constantly using my brain cells for business and for learning all these things, and sometimes you don't want to use your brain cells anymore, like you know, you just want to do just mindless, you know Right, and I started reading it, reading a book and yeah, and I was like oh, I really like this.

Speaker 1:

I really really really like this a lot. I like it much more than even watching TV, yeah. And so that's something new that I've just started doing and it's really relaxing for me. I love it.

Speaker 2:

And the reading helps you shut things off because you're focused in on that story. You know what helped me last winter off. Because you're focused in on that story. You know what helped me last last winter, um, and because you know I I like to watch TV right, um, I started crocheting again, which you know. Yeah, dr Marty's daughter and I actually we subscribe actually subscribed this for her and they would send us um yarn a month and they would give us different patterns to do, and then you put the, the Afghan together, and so that kept my hands busy and kept me focused, and so just like an hour a night, and that was that really helped me unwind. That actually gave me a sense of accomplishment.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I love that.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

I know that Dr Marty is learning a new language. She's done, yeah, yeah, so she's doing that. But all of these things like, even though it's it's, it helps us unwind. It also keeps our, our, our motors, you know, like that, our hands going and it keeps rain, all right, holy, so it's actually really good for us. So, talking about all of these things overwhelm, sadness, depression, all of these things that women in midlife can experience, that now, what? What do you do about it?

Speaker 1:

And one of the things that I learned from somebody in our industry was, uh, putting together a book of awesomeness. Oh, yes, remember that. Yes, I have this little book. It's like a, it's like a from the dollar store. It's like this yeah it, but it's this little and, um, I, I wrote in there all the things I've accomplished, all the things that I'm proud of. Um, that about myself, right, like things that I've accomplished, I'm proud of. And then all the things that I've done or said I've accomplished I'm proud of. And then all the things that I've done or said or whatever that I'm proud of. It's in there all the qualities that I love about myself, also in there, like future things that I want to accomplish, right. So there's like past, present and future. Yeah, and then when I when and I have it in my office because when, when I have a client that is feeling this way, because women tend to be unkind to themselves, right like not very.

Speaker 1:

We're very hard on ourselves, very, very hard on ourselves I I have my clients write a book of awesomeness and I show mine and then I tell them that it's okay to think that you're awesome, right, and it's okay for you to write all the qualities that you love about yourself and it's okay to write about all the things that you're proud of. And when you these moments, like these dips, that you feel this way, it's okay to grab that book and start reading about yourself.

Speaker 2:

It will change your mood. I have one too, and you just reminded me. I haven't added to it, you know, and now I'm going to go dig it up and I'm going to add to it it, because it really does help you.

Speaker 1:

it helps you jump start things put things in perspective is what it does. So, for sure you know, create an inventory of your life, create a book of awesomeness. Also, number three, which in my culture is like a big no no, it's a sign of weakness, but it really isn't is going to therapy. Therapy is awesome, I think that's important.

Speaker 2:

You have a neutral person. You have an outlet. You have a neutral person. That is that you can get everything off your chest.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, 100%, having an objective person that put health perspective to. Yes, employal therapy doesn't mean you have, you know, issues. It's because it's it's it's it's good for your heart, like having that output. Yeah, of trying of communicating how you feel yeah and it doesn't weigh heavy on you.

Speaker 2:

You're releasing that, you know, and that causes this internal stress and it's not good for you.

Speaker 1:

Yep, it also helps you take action because you know, hopefully, that therapist is helping you through it and giving you books to read and exercises to do and and all of these other things right. So therapy is awesome. Also, checking your hormone levels, like we've done, we've talked about in other podcasts, you know a lot of times, just like the what the Mayo Clinic article said, most times when women in midlife, you know they feel these, these emotions and these things when even life is good and it's because of auto imbalance, right, erratic fluctuations of your hormones. So go to your nearest inspired weight loss and if you're not near an inspired weight loss, go to your nearest functional medicine doctor and get your, get your hormones checked. We have a remote program too, so we can get. Yeah, I was just gonna say that, but a remote program too, so we can get your hormones checked.

Speaker 2:

I was just going to say that. But the other thing, too, that's really important People don't realize, like the foods that they're putting into your body, how it impacts their mood, how it impacts, it can impact your hormones. If you're eating crappy food, fast food, if you're eating artificial sweeteners, if you're drinking different, different things, they're hormone disruptors. They're going to affect you. So it's really really, really important to watch what, what, what kind of foods you're eating Yep.

Speaker 1:

And another thing that causes these emotions, believe it or not, is gut health.

Speaker 2:

Yes, if your gut is out of whack.

Speaker 1:

you can also be feeling these things. Absolutely, you have to make sure your gut is healthy, which goes in line with eating, the way that you're eating. What are you feeding?

Speaker 2:

your body.

Speaker 1:

I would say are you feeding your body life, or are you feeding your body chronic conditions, right, your body life, or are you feeding your body chronic conditions, right, like you know? So it's which. Where are you, are you going? Are you feeding your body life or not? Also, exercise, like moving your body um helps with breaking through these types of emotions. You feel good after you move.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, the natural endorphins that are produced when, when you exercise. You know it's, it's a natural antidepressant yep, absolutely.

Speaker 1:

Um, therapy is one also like it can be little things that are not so little, like running a bath, you know, taking time to just if you have a bathtub. You know some lavender oil in there, rose petals, whatever, you know. Whatever floats your boat, take, turn off the light, put some candles, put some some great music that relaxes you and and enjoy, enjoy silence too, have you? There's that's something that I think that we can do better. Yeah.

Speaker 2:

I agree.

Speaker 1:

The silence, the meditation. Don't fall in silence anymore because there's always noise, whether whether it's actual noise that you hear, or you're scrolling through social media, or you're watching shorts or Netflix binging something.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

It was something like constantly in our ears and not in front of our eyes. Yeah, voice silence meditation, like you mentioned, prayer, right, your, your, your spirituality, whatever that that means to you. Um, that's also huge and life giving as well, right.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, Ladies, it's there, it's. You know we, we, we know, we know what, what, because we've been through it. But there are solutions, there are ways to cut, get out of that funk.

Speaker 1:

Yep, there, there really is. So, if you guys are out there listening and you're like man man, there's so much truth to this and I can't put my finger on it. Yeah, I can't put my finger on it because if you're like me, that it's like my life is good, thankfully. Why am I feeling this way? Right, dr Donna? You know, um, it's okay to to take inventory and it's okay to take action. It's okay to modify the things that you need to modify to to bring joy, joy and happiness to your life while you're going through these life changes. And and it's also okay to go through life changes, yes, it's okay to change your routine if it's not serving you honestly like.

Speaker 1:

And I was reading a book about menopause the other day and and the the author was saying how there's so much negativity around menopause. But you know what like. Why don't we just change?

Speaker 2:

embrace it, yeah, embrace it, embrace it and and change it.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, embrace change and negativity, where I I mean, yeah, we're going to menopause and we're feeling certain things and there's changes, but there's things that you can do about it. So, instead of like getting into a menopausal rut and and feeling this way, let's take action, and there's still things that help live life in a joyful manner while you're making the changes right.

Speaker 2:

And you're not going to be able to make those changes overnight, you know. So choose one thing and make that small little change, because you cannot make them all at once. Choose one thing and then go from there, and then, when you got that one, go to the next one. Make yourself a list what do you want to change first, what's your priority? And just do it step by step. For me, when I do stuff step by step, it works, versus looking at the whole big picture absolutely, absolutely so.

Speaker 1:

Guys, you're listening, you're watching. Go, go, go, take inventory, write it down. Write down the things that make you happy, write down things that don't. So then you know what it is and you can change. Write a book of awesomeness about yourself. Write or contact. You know your, your, your women, your friend, your friend group. Right, like relationships, healthy relationships are so good. There's so many things that you can do. Um midlife. Madness doesn't have to be mad, bad it could be good it could be mad.

Speaker 1:

Good, we just have to learn how to manage midlife, because we haven't had to in the past.

Speaker 2:

Right, it's new.

Speaker 1:

It's new to you.

Speaker 2:

It can be mad good.

Speaker 1:

I love that, and that's what we're going to leave you with. Go be mad good.

Speaker 2:

Mad good.

Speaker 1:

Amen to that.