Coping with Anxiety & Stress

Anxiety is everywhere right now, but the real problem might be simpler and harder to face: a lot of us have lost the ability to cope with normal life stress without spiraling. We sit down with Aline Paredes, a board-certified psychiatric nurse practitioner and founder of Thrive Well Health (telemedicine mental health services), for a raw, no-nonsense talk about what she’s seeing after two decades in mental health and why “just push through it” is failing so many people in midlife.

We get clear on the difference between stress and anxiety, including the point where stress becomes emotional dysregulation, sleep problems, panic symptoms, or shutdown. From there we connect the dots to emotional eating, binge eating, ADHD-related snacking, and the way trauma and constant judgment can shape body image for years. If you’ve ever made progress on the scale but still felt “stuck” in the mirror, we talk about that too, including body dysmorphia, self-sabotage, and why self-love is not fluff, it’s a practical requirement for lasting change.

You’ll also hear specific coping tools that go beyond restriction and willpower: walking, movement, music, journaling, calling a friend, deep breathing, and simply stepping outside. We frame health like a “health bank” you build alongside your 401k so your later years are about living, not bouncing between appointments. We also cover GLP-1 weight loss medications and why some people notice increased anxiety or depression, plus why reputable care and real coaching matter.

If any of this hits close to home, share this with someone who needs it, subscribe for more honest midlife conversations, and leave a review so more people can find the support they’ve been putting off. What coping tool are you adding this week?

Icon Weight Loss: www.iconweightloss.com

ThriveWell Health: ThriveWellHealth.net

Connect with Martha
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Disclaimer:
Martha Savloff is not a medical doctor. The information shared in this podcast is for educational and inspirational purposes only and should not replace professional medical advice. Always consult with your healthcare provider before making changes to your health or wellness plan.

Transcript

Welcome And Meet Aline

SPEAKER_01 0:06

Hi everyone, welcome back to Midlife Madness, where we talk about all things midlife, and today I'm so excited to have Aline Faredes, nurse practitioner, that she focuses on mental health services through Thrive Well Health. This is her telemedicine company. We are so happy that you are here, Aline. So I want to tie into this because the topic that we're talking about today is a topic that every single person needs to hear about, including myself. So, Aline, can you please introduce yourself and tell us what you do?

SPEAKER_00 0:49

Yes, absolutely. Thank you so much, Martha. I'm so excited to be doing this. This is my first one, so I'm extra excited. So, yes, I am a board-certified psychiatric nurse practitioner um for the last eight years, but I have been in the mental health field total of 20 years next year. Um so that has mental health has always been my passion. And so that's, you know, in all my years in the medical field, that's what I've dedicated myself to.

SPEAKER_01 1:23

I love that. And I can imagine what you've seen along you know the 20 years with the changes in our society and all kinds of things. Here at Midlife Madness, this is the podcast, we talk very real and very raw.

SPEAKER_00 1:41

I love it. And that's I I I love that so much, the very real part, because this is what I tell patients day in and day out is that I'm a very transparent and very no-nonsense provider. And I think people appreciate that.

SPEAKER_01 1:58

So so tell me, like in the last 20 years, what are these like what have you seen? What are the changes or the challenges or the things that have like gradually gotten worse in our society when it comes to like anxiety and stress? Um, because it seems like like uh the word anxiety is is just all over compared to 10 years ago. Um can you share a little bit about that?

SPEAKER_00 2:25

Yeah, absolutely. So definite major shifts, right? I've seen um over the last several years. I've come, I've done the hospitals and you know, I've done outpatient care and now transition to just solely telemedicine. But the one aspect in our society that I have seen the biggest shift in has been the inability of people to cope, cope with stressors, with life. Um and I see this day in and day out. It seems like as human beings and as a society as a whole, people are having um a harder time coping with what's going on. And it seems like people now more and more are struggling with anxiety related to things that are just so far beyond our control, like we hear all the time, right? The I have people that will schedule appointments because of panic and anxiety and stress because of the government, because of what's going on in the world, um, the administration, the this, the that. And I have to sit and try to kind of guide these assessments, right? Into uh, you know, a place that's more productive and question people, what about the world or the government or what's going on is within your control? Why are you doing this to yourself? Why are you why are you suffering in this manner for things that you cannot control? Right. So that's the biggest shift that I have seen is the lack of coping, both in adults and children as well.

Emotional Eating And Mind Body Link

SPEAKER_01 4:14

I I that that is so true. Um, I feel like in my generation, we were exposed to a certain amount of information and and we knew that the government and all that was important, but we also knew that we did our part, you know, when we can. And then we we didn't internalize it and and and cause it to to to have such a such a thing in our life that we can't cope, or you know, it's we're we're non-productive, right? But now I feel like part of the the anxiety and stressors that we have is that we we have so much data in our on our hands, like literally on our phones, and uh it's all over all over the place. And let me tell you, I I hope I'm wrong. Like I hope I'm so wrong, I don't mind being wrong. Like if I'm wrong, I'll tell you I'm wrong. I think that with AI, it's gonna get worse because not only that we have so much information in the in the palm of our hands, but now it's like so much fake information in the palm of our hands that we don't know what what's true, what's not true, what's AI, what's there's actually a software that you can ask is this and upload whatever you're watching to see if it's fake or not. Like that that's the world that we live in right now. And so people that are trying to cope in my world, in my world, is they they eat. Yes, they eat or they're they're they just sit around, they're not active, or both. And so we're we're we're seeing that people are coping by you know comfort foods and all kinds of things that then is making them unhealthy, right? Have you seen I I'm I I don't want to say I'm sure, but do you see a lot of patients that that cope with food?

SPEAKER_00 6:22

All the time, emotional eating, right? Um, in fact, I am probably seeing, you know, because with anxiety and depression, we can see a little bit of both, right? We can see those that become so nervous that they stop eating, but I am these days I'm probably seeing more cases of those that are overeating, binge eating because of severe anxiety, panic, um, and even depressive symptoms, right? And that is again for both adults and children. Um actually, this past week, um, I started treating a young boy 10 years old with very, very severe ADHD, right? And what we know with ADHD, a lot of anxiety comes with it too. But with that anxiety came the constant snacking. Like mom was telling me that at school he was eating his lunch and the friend's lunch. And it was that constant need to have some, to choose something, to have something in his mouth, right? So we had to kind of dive a little bit deeper into that aspect too, because the um my our philosophy, right, at Thrive Well Health is bridging the gap between mind and body, right? And if there is, if the body is not healthy, the body is not in sync with the mind, there's there's no treatment that we can give, right? Everything has to be connected in order for us to function our our best.

Stress Vs Anxiety Explained Clearly

SPEAKER_01 7:55

That is so important, and and there can be definitely a disconnect between mind and body. I mean, we see that here at icon weight loss where we have clients that have lost 20, 40 pounds, and you can visibly tell, right? Because they've shrank, but in here, they still see themselves large, right? And it's like that's why we have our 3D scanner because um that helps clients with a visual that shows them, hey, this is this is what's going on, regardless if if your mind is playing tricks on you, this is going on. This is this is this is how you this is your before, and look at you now, and it's okay to accept that you've done this for yourself, and it's okay to see yourself as a size five instead of a size 12. It's okay to do that. You know, I want to ask you, uh, because it was a question that I had, and I'm sure people out there are also asking, what's the difference between anxiety and stress and depression? Because all of these words are used, but um, you know, I didn't really know the difference be between them, um, especially the anxiety and stress part, because it seems like it goes hand in hand. Can you explain that to us?

SPEAKER_00 9:18

Yeah, absolutely. Great question. So definitely it can go hand in hand, right? But if we think about our lives, right? And the word stress, everyone experiences or can experience stress day in, day out, right? It's getting up at the crack of dawn, getting ready, getting the kids ready for school, right? Making it through traffic in South Florida to wherever it is that you're going, right? Or having a stressful day at work with meetings and then having to come home and make dinner and find time to decompress, stress, right? But a lot of people can go through stress and not feel emotionally debilitated, right? And they can go through the motions of a stressful day, A to B to C, and then come back home and nothing happens. They decompress, they go to sleep, and they start all over again, right? Right now, when we're talking about anxiety, now we're talking the potential for an emotional dysregulation, right? Um, so that's the main difference between that and stress. Someone who's just stressed may not feel dysregulated in a way where it becomes debilitating, where they are overeating or they are um losing sleep, right? Or they're getting panic like symptoms, their heart's pounding, they're in constant fight or flight response, right? Um, or as a person who's experiencing clinical anxiety or even depression, right? Now they're experiencing debilitating symptoms that are making it hard to function in their day-to-day. So that's the main difference between the two.

Therapy Stigma And Asking For Help

SPEAKER_01 11:05

Wow, thank you for that. Um this is like real stuff that people deal with on a daily basis, you know, and it's important to talk about it. And it's important for people to know that it's okay to to ask for help. You know what I mean? And I have to do that. I uh several years ago I was going through a challenge in my life, um, and I was very it was affecting me. Um, and my choices, I would say my choices were you know, going to jail or going to therapy. You made the right choice, and I'm like, um, I'm not made for jail, and yeah, we're not doing that. Um, so I opted in for therapy, and in my culture as a Cuban, is like, whoa, you know, God forbid you go to therapy, right? That's only for weak people, and it's not the case. And I went through that and um thank God it really helped me a lot, and I just kept it going because I'm like, this is awesome.

SPEAKER_00 12:10

Good, and that's why you are here today, right?

Mental Health Inside Weight Loss

SPEAKER_01 12:13

With this fashion, yeah. Yeah, and and in this podcast, you know, our viewers know like I'm very transparent with all the things because I like to I like people to to know that we're real and you know the things that people go through. Um, there's no judgment here, you know. It's we just want to make sure that we can share as much information and to let people know that it's okay to ask for help, right? Um, if you're out there and you're experiencing these things, you know, message us and contact us because um it's okay to ask for help. So tell me about tell me about like how all of these things interfere with weight loss specifically.

SPEAKER_00 12:53

Oh my goodness, like it's it's all connected, right? Because now we understand more and more that a weight loss journey is not just a physical journey, right? It's not just a physical change, it's the psychological component. And like you mentioned, right? You have clients that you're seeing the change, you're showing them the change, right? And in the monitors and the scales and everything that that you do at icon, but yet in their minds, they're still seeing the heavy person, right? Because there's a psychological component. And um many of these people have gotten to the point where they have, right, in in terms of their their weight gain because of trauma as well, right? So I've seen many patients with uh binge eating disorders that uh came from an upbringing where mom was very judgmental or mom had an eating disorder herself, and you know, there was constant judgment, constant, even bullying, right? In that immediate family unit. Um, or if it wasn't trauma in the home per se, it was bullying outside of it, right? In school, and all that, this this right here, guys, right, or mind, this is the most fragile yet powerful part of our bodies, right? And what what happens here, right, if we don't take care of it, if we're not able to filter out the noise, right? It's it's um we're wired to think a certain way when we've been through so much, right, in our lives through trauma and whatnot. And so when uh they get to you, right, at Icon looking for that change, right? It's hard to um to accept, to understand that they're worthy of that love of looking at that mirror and saying, man, I I look good, I did this, you know, I've come a long way, because in a lot of ways they weren't taught that love, that nurturing for, you know, and now they sometimes they're not able to provide it for themselves, to give it to themselves.

SPEAKER_01 15:13

Yeah. So it's so true. Like a lot of like your upbringing has to do with it too. Uh, like in my in my world, Cuban world, you know, if you're if you're larger, you know, they they're like, Oh, you need to you need to go on a diet, look how large you are. But if you're thin, then they they're like, you need to eat rice and beans, look how skinny you are. It's like it's a no-win situation. Yes, absolutely. Everything that's on the plate, you know, it's a no-win situation.

SPEAKER_00 15:43

I just recently saw a um a video on Instagram that I actually reposted on my page as um Denzel Washington giving like a commencement speech and a graduation. I think it was from a university, and he says exactly that. If you are too heavy, they're gonna say, well, you need to get on a go on a diet. If you're too skinny, they're gonna say you need to eat. If you're successful, they're gonna say you're cocky. If you're not successful, it's because you didn't try too hard, right? So no matter what, people are gonna judge. Yeah. Right. And that's just the worlds we live in, unfortunately. So we have to be able to have that confidence and self-love first and foremost in order to make it through these journeys.

SPEAKER_01 16:27

Self-love. I love that. So over here, when um we deal with with clients that we have to break through like mental things for sure, uh, but we deal with clients that have like really bad relationships with food, right? They cling on to to especially sugar. Um, we also deal with self-sabotagers, uh, we deal with with people that have body dysmorphia. You know, like they I had one lady one time that she wanted to lose 10 pounds. It's the only bad Google review that I have. It's all five stars except this one person, and she wanted to lose um, it was 20 pounds. And when I did her body composition analysis, she only had 37 pounds of fat in her body. Like it, it's like you don't you don't have enough fat mass to lose. So, you know, we qualify people here and we we make sure that the people are gonna be healthy if they if they join our program, and we've said no to people that they're actually not large, but they think they are, and they have that body dysmorphia. We've had people that you know, no matter what, they can be losing one, two, three pounds per week, and it's incredible, but it's it's not enough, and they self-sabotage, you know. Um people that just like cling onto um comfort foods and and have like a really bad relationship with food, you know, we see that unfortunately, but fortunately, when we see that, then we have resources to send them to to get help, you know, because that's we we collaborate like somebody with like you, right, to to help people break through that and push through that because in order for that for them to have long-term success in their health journey, they gotta deal with that.

SPEAKER_00 18:32

Absolutely. And body dysmorphia is a real, real psychological issue, right? It needs it it it calls for extensive, like deep psychotherapy, right? In order to be able to break through those thoughts. And I guarantee, guarantee there's trauma behind that.

SPEAKER_01 18:56

Yes, I guarantee. Yes, and that's why we we just we lead with compassion here, uh, because we know that if somebody's sitting in front of us and they're they're they come to us with one of these things, or they come to us with with high anxiety, or you know, they're skeptical, or you know, all these different things, we know that um that there's always a story behind the person. And there's some story of why the person comes to us and they're like that. And so, you know, we don't treat people like numbers and we don't treat we don't judge people. We we just know that there is a story behind it, and what can we do to help them push along? And and I like to say it change the trajectory of the person's life. I love it, yes, change the trajectory of the person's life, and it's and and and a lot of times it's it's not just us, it's a a team of us to help this pick people through as long as they allow themselves to be helped, which that's a hard thing too.

SPEAKER_00 20:02

Yes, that's the other part of you know, um helping people, no matter what field you're in, right? But where you're helping people in general, can't work miracles, right? There's only so much that we can do as as providers. Um you gotta love yourself that much to allow the help to come in, right? And unfortunately, so many it's 2026, and some a lot of people are still not there. There's still such a stigma behind you know these types of um of care, you know, the journey. Um, and that's you know, I think our mission, right? Is to kind of break through that and and help people realize that there's so much more to life and that they're worthy of this help, you know.

Coping Tools Beyond Food

SPEAKER_01 20:52

Absolutely. So, really quick, uh let's talk about new coping tools. So, you did a uh a great presentation here at icon, and you shared with our clients these coping tools. Um, and it says here food can't be your only comfort tool. Try walking, calling a friend, journaling, music or movement, deep breathing, or stepping outside. You're not removing food, you're adding other options.

SPEAKER_00 21:21

Yes, yes, and um that goes with what you said, right? In terms of the relationship you have with food, because I think a lot of people fall into the mentality of I gotta restrict the bread, I gotta restrict the pasta, I can't eat this, I can't eat that, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. When life is not about restriction, right? We're human beings, right? It's all about the balance, right? That so you can enjoy different things, but in a healthy manner, right? So um when, gosh, I can't stress this enough, right? I see patients day in and Day out, we'll come that we'll complain about anxiety, binge eating, depression. And when I go into their life, right? What they do day in and day out. Oh, yeah, I work from home and you know, I sit here. Well, do you exercise? No, well, I kind of walk, you know, here and there. Oh, you know, I might smoke marijuana, you know, and then I'm like, well, so what's happening, right, in your environment, right? So of course, um, the coping falls into what the unhealthy habits, right? The eating, the marijuana, the drinking, right? So, what can we do to make things healthier? Exercise is the best way to boost serotonin levels in our brain. Exercise, right? Um, one psychiatrist that I absolutely love, who's been around forever and ever, super knowledgeable, Dr. Eamon, and he talks about these holistic strategies and coping mechanisms. Exercise. The man walks seven days a week, right? So get out there. Whatever it is that you can do to move your body, that will automatically change the way you feel yourself and the way you feel day in and day out, right? And I also tell patients all the time don't uh let your brain play tricks on you that unless you can get yourself to a gym and lift weights an hour each day, that that's the only type of exercise you can do. So if you can't do that, you're not gonna do anything, right? Dancing in your living room when you're alone, get out there, walk your dogs, you know. Free, I like to go out and feed the squirrel. So I walk around the neighborhood with my husband, feeling feeding squirrels, right? What is it that you're doing to move your body? Right? Support. If you have people, you're lucky to have people that love you, call them up, have a conversation. The journaling, I talked about it when you know, during the the presentation that day, people think like, oh my god, like dear diary, what am I gonna write on this, right? But no, just simple sentences to kind of let your thoughts put them on paper, right? So you can read through them, see what's bothering you, and then just let it go. It's a good way to kind of get it out of your mind, right? You put it down on paper and then you just let it go and you move on, right? Those are all healthy ways to kind of shift our perspective and cope a little bit better and not use food as that only coping strategy.

Boundaries And The Health Bank Mindset

SPEAKER_01 24:39

And and and we tell our clients, you know, I wish I can do all this for you, but you gotta do it for yourself. I can't do these things for you. And um, it starts, I think, with with creating the proper boundaries in your life to give you the time to do all of these things because we do hear, like, oh, I don't have time for that, you know. I have the kids in soccer, I have I have work, I have this, I have that. It's like we create, we allow to use up our time for all of these other things, but not for ourselves. And it's like I had to learn to do that. I had to learn to be like, okay, I'm gonna write down my agenda the day, and I'm gonna see those pockets of time that I'm gonna intentionally do these things that help me with my my life, the lifestyle and and that I want to live, like my to help me with my why. Like my why right now, I'm a grandmother of three, I'm 50 years old. That's a pretty it's pretty young for a grandma, but I want to live as strong and as long as I I want to because I want to be able to run around with my grandkids. That is my focus, and I want to do that in a healthy manner, like in a healthy way. I always say that people work so hard to put money in their 401, but they don't work hard to to make sure that they're doing whatever it takes, that when you can actually enjoy the money that you put in 401k, you're not going from doctor to doctor. You're going, hopefully, you're going from country to country or from you know whatever makes you happy, traveling, whatever it may be. You know, so as you're putting away money for 401k for the latter years, what about your health bank? Absolutely. So then when your latter years come, then you can enjoy it and not just be, you know, sitting around or going from doctor to doctor, right? Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 26:42

Have you noticed, Martha, how many times we sit and we stress about different things, right? This problem, that problem, this and that and that, whatever. And then later on, when people become sick, then all of a sudden that's their only problem. Nothing else matters, yeah. Right. Yeah, and now that they're not healthy, that's the only problem, the only thing that they have in their minds. So why get to that place? How about focus on what is within our control, right? Right now, the present moment. People think that's so cliche, and that it's it's reality. We must focus on this, this step right here in front of us, right? So that later on we get to enjoy the retirement phase, the 401k money, the grandchildren, right? Right. Um, so we don't get to that point of having to worry now about an illness because we didn't take care of ourselves properly when we could, right? Well, we thought there were so many other stressors and problems out there, right?

SPEAKER_01 27:56

Yeah, absolutely. This was so so great. Um, Aline, tell me when one of my clients or somebody that's watching um reaches out to you, what what should they expect?

GLP-1 Meds And Mood Side Effects

SPEAKER_00 28:10

Yeah, they should expect a real a real provider, right? Uh and I I mean real by the sense of I'm gonna keep it real too, right? And some people are not ready to listen, right, to the reality of things, right? So expect someone who's transparent because I am and I take pride in that, and because um I I I want to see my patients thrive and and succeed and feel better, right? And I feel like when a provider kind of sugarcoats everything and uh is not transparent, then you know they're just worried about the numbers. I'm not worried about the numbers, I'm worrying about getting people to feel better, right? And for that, I'm gonna be very transparent and real. So expect that and expect to um when you book that appointment, make sure you're ready to have a real conversation, right? And that you've gotten to that point where you want to make some changes.

SPEAKER_01 29:12

I love that. And one last question have you seen any like rise in anxiety or anything like that with the new GLP1 medications that are out there for weight loss?

SPEAKER_00 29:23

Yeah, yeah, unfortunately. So GOP1s are known to have to cause or exacerbate for those who already have a predisposition to it of depression and anxiety. Um, I have seen firsthand patients who were doing very well on, you know, just antidepressants in general to manage their symptoms, and then all of a sudden there is an exacerbation when they start the GOP1. The good news is that it does tend to subside uh once their bodies adjust and once you know the dosing gets tweaked and they progress through the program. But yes, it is uh one of the possible um side effects to have an exacerbation in anxiety and depression.

SPEAKER_01 30:10

Okay. Um and that's important to note too because at icon, um we do have a medical weight loss uh coaching program that we help coach clients through uh their their weight loss journey through the GOP ones. Our number one is always natural weight loss because our the succession the success rate for that is incredible. Um but we do have uh some clients that that do the GOP ones. Um before I bring anything to Icon, I test it myself. I did the GLP ones for about two weeks max. And I found, and the reason I was asking you is because I found myself like like weird. Like I was I felt like almost like a downer. I was like in a downer.

SPEAKER_00 31:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 31:01

Um, and I'm like, what the heck is going on? And I noticed for me that was uh a side effect that I I experienced on the GOP one. And so so, anyways, uh because there's so many people out there doing it, I wanted to ask you that question.

SPEAKER_00 31:17

Yeah, absolutely. It's a it's a good question. I I'm seeing it very often, so it's important for people to know. I'm not, you know, there are so many places now, like people are getting GOP ones through things on the phone, companies on the phone, and you know, I I would say that if it's gonna be used, then make sure that they're using from a reputable place that will discuss these things with them.

How To Reach Thrive Well Health

SPEAKER_01 31:41

And that they're getting proper coaching. Um not just the drug, but proper nutritional coaching and fitness coaching. So that's a whole other topic. So thank you so so much for coming on our podcast. Um, can you tell us how our people can get in touch with you?

SPEAKER_00 32:01

Yes, absolutely. So thrivewellhealth.net, um, that is our website. Um, that is the website is super simple. It's self-scheduling, right? So um you do I do take um a lot of different insurances, self-pay as well. Um, and then of course you can always reach out via telephone. I'm answering them myself. So um you can text and call. Martha, you have the phone number. I don't know it by heart, but um I can give it to you as well. I don't know it by heart yet. But um, you know, you can call and text as well if you have any questions, and I'm able to walk you through um the process as well.

SPEAKER_01 32:42

And you not only treat like anxiety, depression, and you know those things. What are the top five things that you see clients for or patients?

SPEAKER_00 32:50

Yeah, so I treat across the lifespan, right? Um my my youngest uh is uh eight years old um right now. So um that's the youngest I will go, but you know, across the lifespan from there. Um anxiety, depression, um bipolar disorders are also a big thing. ADHD, um, I would say is um one of the top also. And by the way, I treat with non-controlled substances because you know, I I don't necessarily believe in the controlled substance world. Um so everything I do is non-controlled. Um and then um I do see a lot of the binge eating disorders as well. And actually, binge eating disorder is probably one of the only disorders that I will treat, just because when you get into anorexia and those things, that requires a deeper level of care. Um, so binge eating um is is one of the the only eating disorders that I will treat via telemedicine like this.

SPEAKER_01 33:58

And I've sent you clients that also suffer from you know, you know, challenging food relationship, yes, you know, and self-sabotaging and things like that. So yes, absolutely. Thank you again. I'm sorry so much. We need to do more of this because I feel like we can talk for hours. There's so much more to this topic that we need to um talk about and share with the world. Um, absolutely, I love it.

SPEAKER_00 34:26

I really appreciate you having me here today. I can't wait to do another one.

SPEAKER_01 34:30

Yes, yes, yes. All right, guys, thank you for watching Midlife Madness. If any of this resonates with you and you're sitting there and you're like, I need help, um, I I I understand what they're saying. I think that's me. Then reach out to us because again, this is a safe place. We we talk about all the madness here, and um, and we will help you get to the right person, such as Aline, to help you change the trajectory of your life if you allow yourself to. So, until next time, thanks for watching.