SPEAKER_00: Howdy howdy folks and welcome back to the Austin Avenue Unplugged podcast.
SPEAKER_00: Can that be our official welcome?
SPEAKER_00: Howdy howdy howdy.
SPEAKER_00: Howdy howdy folks.
SPEAKER_00: Is that okay?
SPEAKER_00: No.
SPEAKER_00: I start every class off like that.
SPEAKER_03: It can be this once official, but not it's not Canada.
SPEAKER_01: Have you seen The Land Before Time?
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
SPEAKER_03: Is that a part of it?
SPEAKER_03: Howdy howdy is in The Land Before Time.
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's Ducky, and she says howdy, howdy, howdy.
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
SPEAKER_00: I did not I don't remember that.
SPEAKER_00: I only remember them eating leaves.
SPEAKER_00: Gonna have to go and thinking that was a good idea.
SPEAKER_00: Oh dear.
SPEAKER_00: Welcome back to the Austin Avenue Unplugged podcast.
SPEAKER_00: I haven't done this in a while.
SPEAKER_00: When was the last time y'all were on?
SPEAKER_00: We haven't done it in a while, period.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
SPEAKER_01: I think it was at the end of the school year.
SPEAKER_00: I was about to say, at least for me it was.
SPEAKER_00: I've had a pretty busy summer, and I know um a lot of families around here have as well.
SPEAKER_00: So a school is back in session at the time of recording this.
SPEAKER_00: Football is just around the corner.
SPEAKER_00: Just around the corner.
SPEAKER_00: Uh preseason games are happening right now, some scrimmages.
SPEAKER_00: Uh so a lot to be excited about.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
SPEAKER_01: Our kids are back, have already started some cross-country meets and tennis tournaments, and I know volleyball has started, and so yeah, lots of kids are busy doing volleyball.
SPEAKER_00: Since we haven't started our Wednesday night meals yet, it hasn't felt like school has started yet for me.
SPEAKER_00: Because I've been asking kids, you know, are you going into which grade?
SPEAKER_03: I heard you do that the other day.
SPEAKER_00: And I was like, no, Giles, they're in that grade in full swing in there.
SPEAKER_00: But once the meals start back up, I think it'll officially feel for me that the school year started.
SPEAKER_00: Or once I I stop for the first time.
SPEAKER_00: Oh, yes.
SPEAKER_00: Not many teachers are out in the first two weeks of school.
SPEAKER_00: That's true.
SPEAKER_03: Because you don't have children in the home, so you're not up on the rhythm of school, and when church rhythm doesn't visibly ch I mean, your rhythm has changed because you're not going to camps and mission trips and all that, but like the Wednesday nights and the Sunday mornings look the same as they did in the summer.
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
SPEAKER_03: For now they do.
SPEAKER_01: But it has to be feeling real because of the prayer vigil coming up, right?
SPEAKER_01: Have you guys been preparing for that?
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, we have.
SPEAKER_00: We've taken the pictures of the kids, they've put out some prayer cards for them, and I'm starting to type them out already.
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
SPEAKER_01: Kit Kit mentioned there were some stations on Wednesday night.
SPEAKER_00: That's right.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
SPEAKER_00: We we went around and did some prayer stations where they talked a little bit about a Bible story that applied to that prayer prompt, uh, and then they wrote out their own uh based on that.
SPEAKER_00: So I'm excited for that day.
SPEAKER_00: Um, and I hope our viewers um get the opportunity pretty soon, I would think in the next few weeks to sign up and also join us in praying for our teenagers and really all of our youth, even our kids.
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, and so we explicitly say that this is not like a promotional ministry podcast, that it's kind of like more kind of behind the scenes, but this week they kind of overlap.
SPEAKER_03: Because we were gonna kind of talk about kind of the rhythm of church life and the season that we're currently in.
SPEAKER_03: So uh I don't know how many people know this, but the summer's called the summer slump in church life.
SPEAKER_03: That like attendance goes down, giving goes down.
SPEAKER_03: If you're smart, you don't plan a whole lot of events that are gonna like be dampened by that unless your name is Giles Wooten and you're doing the youth ministry, in which case none of this applies to you.
SPEAKER_00: And if your name isn't Giles Wooten and you're doing youth ministry, this also doesn't apply to you.
SPEAKER_00: Sure, sure.
SPEAKER_03: But for Austin Avenue, uh yeah, so so you and Shannon are a little bit outside of the summer slump, obviously, but for the rest of us, um things move at a kind of a slower pace.
SPEAKER_03: Your volunteers are not as available or they need a rest, and it's just it's just different.
SPEAKER_03: So what you do is you spend the whole time kind of gearing up for when that rhythm hits because the two times people are willing to really commit to something that they ordinarily might not commit to is back to school and January 1st.
SPEAKER_03: Right.
SPEAKER_01: And even if um people aren't gonna be out of town all summer, take you know a two-month-long vacation, it's still nice to have that two-month break from a thing that you've did for the rest of the year, like serving the meals.
SPEAKER_01: The Wednesday night meals is a perfect example.
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's what I was thinking of.
SPEAKER_03: We've had a lot of the same meal teams and personnel that have been doing the mails since we started them, and this is starting year four now.
SPEAKER_03: And so, yeah, we gave them a little bit longer break until the month break, September, instead of back to school, which last year we did the back to school time.
SPEAKER_03: We followed the school calendar, which meant that the the mill teams at the end of the month were doing 10 a year instead of nine.
SPEAKER_03: And I guess I've never really thought about this out loud, but I'm on the third week middle team, so I I guess that I'm one of the ones that I'm giving a break to.
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
SPEAKER_03: Uh, but but no, people just just need a break.
SPEAKER_03: And so basically, yeah, um, we're relaunching meals September 2nd.
SPEAKER_03: Uh, we have life group signups that are out this week, the day that we're doing this.
SPEAKER_03: I don't know when it's gonna drop.
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
SPEAKER_03: Um, new adult classes for Sunday morning are dropping, and the prayer vigils coming in September in the middle of the month.
SPEAKER_03: And I'm sure I'm forgetting something.
SPEAKER_03: Grief share starting, children's um family time Wednesday night, Bible studies are so just a lot of lots of things in September for sure.
SPEAKER_01: Yes, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_03: So much so that I I think maybe we overprogrammed it.
SPEAKER_03: Like maybe next year I'm gonna like slow walk it out and maybe do the prayer vigil in like October, maybe.
SPEAKER_03: I don't know.
SPEAKER_01: It just seems that um lots of sermons lately, and I've listened to different preachers on podcasts and things, and lots of things are talking about.
SPEAKER_01: You can do church alone, you have to be in community, and it's just exciting to think that the things that we're offering, um, that it seems like everybody in ministry is talking about right now is coming alongside somebody else, like life groups are coming alongside somebody else.
SPEAKER_01: Our Sunday school classes um talking about, you know, Romans have been just talking about this is a family and this is unity and this is how to be unified and not um you know have different issues come up like you are all one because of Christ.
SPEAKER_01: And then you know, sermons that Doug has preached have been about you know, our family worship together.
SPEAKER_01: We we go out and worship, we're worshiping all day long, um, just in community, we're in community.
SPEAKER_01: And so that's exciting the things we're offering um that look like that and help us in that.
SPEAKER_00: Exciting is definitely a good word for it.
SPEAKER_00: I'm I'm jazzed up about it.
SPEAKER_00: I'm excited, mainly because I just got through my busy season.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
SPEAKER_00: And and I was listening to a podcast the other day that was not ministry related um in any way.
SPEAKER_00: It was it was purely just for entertainment.
SPEAKER_00: And I at one segment during this thing, these two uh girls are talking, and they're kind of talking about the rhythms of motherhood and and it takes a village, you hear that quite a bit.
SPEAKER_00: But three or four minutes in, I realized they're talking about the church.
SPEAKER_00: They weren't, but all the things that they said, oh, I really needed this during this time, and one was older and was reflecting on her experiences and giving wisdom to the younger one.
SPEAKER_00: Like, this is a great picture of what the church is, and all of their topics that they were referring to were church topics, were things that we offer here, and it wasn't like worldly, but it wasn't a sacred conversation.
SPEAKER_00: It was it was very secular and just regular in every way.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, um, it was pretty neat.
SPEAKER_00: Another thing I found interesting was how different our worlds can be, although we're like two offices away from each other.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
SPEAKER_00: I remember conversations in May when you're longing for the summer to come.
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
SPEAKER_00: For your vacation, spending time with your family, uh, maybe it's the meals that are over, whatever it might be.
SPEAKER_00: And I'm at 120% capacity already, thinking about all the stuff that we have, planning, preparing, buying, uh, prepping for classes and sermons.
SPEAKER_00: There's two weeks where I'm teaching 10 Bible classes and two sermons and a nightly devo, and it's a lot.
SPEAKER_00: You need some interns.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, for sure.
SPEAKER_00: For sure.
SPEAKER_03: Um it's almost like we've been talking about that, Miles.
SPEAKER_00: But we're we're 40 feet away from each other, yeah, and we have two vastly different experiences.
SPEAKER_00: And I did this and I thought it was a healthy practice, and I I still think it is.
SPEAKER_00: I'll get y'all's take on it.
SPEAKER_00: When I get overwhelmed, I get on Google Maps, I actually do this and I zoom out.
SPEAKER_00: And I just think about how I don't know, the more I zoom out, I don't know anybody else's problems in this world.
unknown: Yeah.
SPEAKER_00: And they don't know mine either.
SPEAKER_00: So although it can be like all-encompassing in my mind that everything in my life is surrounded by the stress or anxiety that I have around filling the blank, it doesn't even affect the people that are two offices away from me, and it definitely doesn't affect the people that are three zooms away from me.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
SPEAKER_00: And I've recently found out that I'm obviously not the only one that did this, it's not an original thought.
SPEAKER_00: Um, but that people call it like getting a bigger world.
SPEAKER_00: And the most famous example was someone came home from their job at I don't know if it was at Chili's or some restaurant chain like that, and they were complaining to their roommate about how the the shift before them didn't marry the ketchup bottles.
SPEAKER_00: When you have two half bottles, you open them up and you fill one up, so you have one empty and one full.
SPEAKER_00: And then the roommate said, You need a bigger world.
SPEAKER_00: We need bigger things to to worry about and complain and think about, than how someone didn't combine two half-filled or half-empty.
SPEAKER_00: I would say half-filled ketchup bottles.
SPEAKER_00: You need a bigger world.
SPEAKER_00: Um, and I think that's a good perspective for a lot of people uh to hopefully share and to have is whatever is going on in your life, it doesn't mean it means nothing to everyone else, but we can have a bigger world than just what's happening right now.
SPEAKER_03: Have you ever heard the uh the two-pocket exercise that the rabbis did?
SPEAKER_03: Two-pocket, no.
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, so in uh one pocket you carry a piece of paper that says that you are but dust and ashes.
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
SPEAKER_03: In the other pocket you put like this, and I'm I'm not like totally comfortable with this, but it says something along the lines of all of this was made for you.
SPEAKER_03: Okay, yeah, and like you need to have both of those thoughts at the same time.
SPEAKER_03: And so, like it, like it's a really old if you Google Rabbi Two Pocket teaching, and the translations vary widely, and so you'll but you'll find those two tension things that like, yeah, I'm not that big a deal, like you know, don't worry about it.
SPEAKER_03: Like, you know, and also like you know, God knows the number of hairs upon your head that like know, like, like look at this world, God, God made it for you.
SPEAKER_03: I know that I was in a season when I was doing the exact thing that you're doing, and you know, I had I had infants at home, and I mean I felt crushed by all of it.
SPEAKER_03: And I was in my car, I know where I was, I was driving, and just Abraham's story just came to me when God says, walk through the land, look around, all of it's yours.
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, and like I just had this sense of peace of like, oh no, man, it's fine.
SPEAKER_03: Like, you know, I feel crushed now, you know, it's momentary, it's light, you know, um, things are good, and just a lot of the stress that we feel is just managing blessings.
SPEAKER_03: And so um, I think about that a lot too.
SPEAKER_00: So it seems like in detail, you can tell me what Bible story, Abraham, where you were, in the car.
SPEAKER_00: You were probably you know going somewhere, you could probably tell me that.
SPEAKER_00: What was it that you were so stressed about and that was all just world-consuming?
SPEAKER_01: Oh, just just everything that I youth ministry in the summer to-do list.
SPEAKER_03: So just the exact same thing that you're talking about.
SPEAKER_00: The point I was getting at was you don't remember the details on why you were so stressed and just consumed to the max with whatever was going on, but you do remember that moment of peace.
SPEAKER_00: It seems in vivid detail.
SPEAKER_03: So it's weird.
SPEAKER_03: There's only a handful of like ministry tasks that like I can look back on and be like, that was rough.
SPEAKER_03: It's it's the times that I mean, I I took a hike in the Guadalupe's alone.
SPEAKER_03: I think it was like a 10-12 mile hike.
SPEAKER_03: I pretty much prayed for one kid the entire way.
SPEAKER_03: And so like I can tell you those times that I really was rowing in a hard boat with a person.
SPEAKER_03: The ministry task, I can't tell you what I did yesterday.
SPEAKER_03: I know I worked hard, um, but it's yeah, it's not on my mind.
SPEAKER_03: But the it's the people thing that you really do carry for a really long time.
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, absolutely.
SPEAKER_01: And you almost quoted it for our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
SPEAKER_00: I was thinking about quoting First Peter for the two-pocket thing.
SPEAKER_00: Like you are a chosen race of royal priesthood, or you could do the end of Romans eight, like we are more than conquerors in one pocket.
SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
SPEAKER_00: What are some verses you can put in the left pocket that really show us some humility?
SPEAKER_03: We're in uh in uh Romans now, and so just the beginning to where the Jew and the Gentile are both cooked.
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.
SPEAKER_03: That'd be a great left pocket one.
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
SPEAKER_01: And it is you have to live in both.
SPEAKER_01: You have to live in both, or you become a narcissist in one pocket, or you just get you so down on yourself, and and then shame comes in, and the devil tries to tell lies to you.
SPEAKER_01: And so you have to have both things.
SPEAKER_00: You've gotta you've painted a good picture for me with this.
SPEAKER_00: You talk about the bar ditches.
SPEAKER_00: Like you drive in the middle, right?
SPEAKER_00: You you don't want to live in either one of the bar ditches, like you're saying.
SPEAKER_00: Like you don't want to purely be oh holy art thou, right?
SPEAKER_00: Like the devil can use that against you and your pride.
SPEAKER_00: And but you don't want to be like, I'm just dust and ashes, and you're always in the mud, and everything is better than me.
SPEAKER_00: I deserve nothing.
SPEAKER_01: I think that brings us back to Christian community because we have to have somebody to call us out.
SPEAKER_01: If we are acting too low or too high, our friends are gonna tell us, you know, or if they're gonna walk, we're not gonna we're gonna lose our friends.
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
SPEAKER_01: Um there that's why community is so important to keep you out of the bar ditch, to keep you out of one side or the other, um, and to just keep going toward walking towards Jesus.
SPEAKER_03: So I feel like men pretty naturally do that.
SPEAKER_03: That like we do it with a lot of teasing, a lot of joking, right?
SPEAKER_03: As far as like that, um either lifting you up or maybe humbling you a little bit.
SPEAKER_03: Um I play pickleball with people that I respect and love.
SPEAKER_03: I'm humbled on Thursday mornings because I'm the worst player there.
SPEAKER_03: And uh the the there's a lot of good, godly men that can smoke me at pickleball.
SPEAKER_03: Um what's that look like for women?
SPEAKER_01: We do it with tears.
SPEAKER_01: I believe honestly.
SPEAKER_01: I think I think we do.
SPEAKER_01: We we have so much more emotion and relationship is more important to us as far as that um just becoming emotionally attached.
SPEAKER_01: And I I think we do it with tears for sure.
SPEAKER_01: Um maybe some do it with the like you said, the teasing or the you know, just the playfulness of it.
SPEAKER_01: But a lot of times it does take a little bit a little bit different, it's a little bit more challenging, I think, for women.
SPEAKER_03: Well, and uh I feel like too, like I mean, I've I haven't I didn't say it the first time, but I I also feel like that I mean Giles and Doug and I and other people that I know like I feel like that we don't mind being kind of direct in some of those in some of those hard talks.
SPEAKER_03: Either, hey, you seem really down.
SPEAKER_03: Are you okay?
SPEAKER_03: Is that is that different from women?
SPEAKER_01: No, I don't think so.
SPEAKER_01: I think we could say that.
SPEAKER_01: I think we could.
SPEAKER_01: I think it would take longer.
SPEAKER_01: I mean, there would have to be a sit down, you know, we would we would want to be more private about it or sit down and like hey, I see you're down today, but I wouldn't want to say it in front of you, you know, and say, you know, dig into it, because it could be something that does need a private conversation.
SPEAKER_01: Um and so I think a little bit more guarded um and a lot more emotion.
SPEAKER_01: I it just is.
SPEAKER_01: It's just the nature of me.
SPEAKER_00: I've recognized that my approach and probably my intent is quite different.
SPEAKER_00: Um, and and I don't want to make a claim that this is like guy versus girl, that this approach is different, but Doug has shared a story as well where Jennifer had to remind him, like, you're not the problem solver, you just need to listen.
SPEAKER_01: Yes, that's what I was thinking.
SPEAKER_00: And so I'll go into the conversation, like, hey, you seem down, and mentally I'm thinking, I'm gonna listen to what she's gotta say.
SPEAKER_00: That way I can I can help her out.
SPEAKER_00: Right.
SPEAKER_00: Like I I can help be the solution to whatever problem it is.
SPEAKER_03: I can formulate a plan, I can execute the plan, yeah, and then the problem is solved.
SPEAKER_03: And we can go back to this baseline.
SPEAKER_03: That's not a real world thing, by the way.
SPEAKER_03: But we think that it is.
SPEAKER_03: It's like, well, then after this, we have just 30 years of just boredom of just everything being perfect.
SPEAKER_01: Like I think we've told the story before of a we were newly married, and I went across the street in my shorts to the church building to grab something down in the kitchen, and an older gentleman was in there, and he was said some made a comment like, I can't believe you're wearing shorts in the church building.
SPEAKER_01: And I was so offended and so sad, and I went home and I started crying, and I wanted to tell my husband, I cannot believe this just happened, and I didn't I didn't know, I'm sorry.
SPEAKER_01: And I was so sad and Lays is marching over there to say something to fix it.
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, Oh, I didn't want you to confront him, I wanted you to just comfort me.
SPEAKER_01: And yeah, it's like we just want to we want the comfort, not necessarily the fix.
SPEAKER_01: We just want to talk talking about it helps us release it.
SPEAKER_01: Um but I think you guys, and I understand sometimes I act more sometimes for Callie, I'll try to fix things, and she's like, Mom, I just want you to listen.
SPEAKER_01: Um and so yeah, there that I think that's where we differ sometimes.
SPEAKER_03: Okay, Giles.
SPEAKER_03: So you're a are you Gen Z?
SPEAKER_03: You would know better than that.
SPEAKER_00: I was do you know the dates?
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, so yeah, I think that's Gen Z.
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
SPEAKER_03: I'm not sure.
SPEAKER_03: What does that mean?
SPEAKER_00: And I'm a Scorpio.
SPEAKER_00: No, no, no, not going there.
SPEAKER_03: So tell me all about myself.
SPEAKER_03: Uh Giles and or sorry, Doug and I are both Gen X.
SPEAKER_03: Uh so do you do you think that we that that our generation handles things like that different from say Gen Z or even the younger millennials?
SPEAKER_00: I I think experience comes with it.
SPEAKER_00: I think um having a spouse that you all have had those um experiences together and y'all have talked about it like there y'all figure out better ways to do it.
SPEAKER_00: I can even just think about when I was younger, if I was it could come off in a way where I was telling you how to fix it, and like we're coming up with a game plan because I thought I had the idea of well, here's your problem, here's your solution, go and do it.
SPEAKER_00: And I think there's a fine line in between coaching someone up and reassuring them, giving them confidence or encouragement um in that time.
SPEAKER_00: But in terms of um just approaching it straightforward or not, I don't know if I've if I've recognized I haven't been looking for them, so now I will look for them to see if there's any generational differences.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
SPEAKER_01: I ha I heard this in a podcast and I wrote it down so I would not forget it.
SPEAKER_01: But like when you're young, you are driven by your feelings and your desires.
SPEAKER_01: And then when as you get older, like you said, with experience and marriage and just years, you you make some commitments and you have some convictions, and then you can be ruled by your commitments and your convictions instead of your feelings and desires.
SPEAKER_03: I heard that same thing.
SPEAKER_01: It it comes with maturity.
SPEAKER_01: I was talking about Paul and Timothy, and yeah, I just loved it.
SPEAKER_03: Well, that explains like almost every stereotypical rebellious teenager fight against the stodgy traditional village elders, right?
SPEAKER_03: Is is the older folks uh you said that they're ruled by commitments they've made, convictions that they have.
SPEAKER_03: Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_03: And so, yeah, no, no, I I think that is a very logical way to kind of understand when when you're at loggerheads, especially with the younger person, is just ask, so is this like a conviction or is this like something that you feel and just like understanding that it's it's not gonna fix the problem.
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, because when you're young, you don't have a lot of commitments.
SPEAKER_01: You don't even understand what a commitment is or conviction you haven't been convicted, or you know, you don't have those.
SPEAKER_01: Those come with age and experience and maturity, and and so yeah, you're just all over the place with all these feelings and all these desires.
SPEAKER_01: And what our job is as parents and even as teachers and ministers is to point them towards a conviction and a commitment to bow their heart to Jesus, um, to commit themselves to walking on the middle of the path and not in the right or left barn itch.
SPEAKER_01: Um, and to be ruled by a commitment to our our faith.
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
SPEAKER_03: So Giles, uh, I would love to hear you speak to that about managing those those two things and uh youth work as far as like feelings is like a big part of being a teenager.
SPEAKER_03: It's a big part of faith in general, it's a big part of the youth ministry world, um, but also incorporating that with the conviction and commitment.
SPEAKER_00: So, as y'all were saying that, I was thinking, could this go back to crafting a bigger world?
SPEAKER_00: Right?
SPEAKER_00: The older you get, the more convictions and commitments, and the more experience you have.
SPEAKER_00: You have you've had time to craft a bigger world so that when something arises, you know it's not the end of the world.
SPEAKER_00: And you know you don't have to act right away.
SPEAKER_00: Um, whatever is Seldom or whatever is urgent is seldom important, whatever is important is seldom urgent.
SPEAKER_00: But for a teenager, like everything is important and everything is urgent, needs to be taken of right away.
SPEAKER_00: But I think it's because they haven't had ample time to craft a big enough world yet.
SPEAKER_00: Uh that when they see that it it is a big deal to them when they have those feelings, um, it is urgent, it needs to be taken of right away, and it's super important.
SPEAKER_00: It it's the only thing uh that's going on, it's the only gears that are turning until there's it's resolved, um, and then they can move on to the next thing.
SPEAKER_00: So the last thing I want to do is to make a teenager feel, or even if I directly say what you're going through, what you're experiencing, the emotions you have, they're no big deal.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
SPEAKER_00: Not important.
SPEAKER_00: They're not important to anybody but you right now.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
SPEAKER_00: Uh because that's a conviction that I have, right?
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
SPEAKER_00: But that's not a conviction that's not.
SPEAKER_00: Your feelings are dumb, right?
SPEAKER_00: That's not a conviction that they share it.
SPEAKER_00: Like, that is not their story.
SPEAKER_00: That is not.
SPEAKER_00: And I look at like the happiest day in human history, and I think of the resurrection.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
SPEAKER_00: And I think of the tears that were shed on that day.
SPEAKER_00: Like, I think of Mary Magdalene, and it's like, this should be the happiest day ever.
SPEAKER_00: Why are you crying?
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
SPEAKER_00: Well, she doesn't know he was resurrected.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
SPEAKER_00: She thought the body was stolen.
SPEAKER_00: And so her experience, although had she had had all the facts, she would have rejoiced.
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
SPEAKER_00: But because she didn't, her experience was not that at all.
SPEAKER_00: There's a movie called We Are Marshall.
SPEAKER_00: Have y'all seen it before?
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
SPEAKER_00: Where help me get the facts straight.
SPEAKER_00: An assistant coach is going to scout, but the the plane crashes with the team.
SPEAKER_00: And the wife, because this was before like just texting, right?
SPEAKER_00: There's an answering machine.
SPEAKER_00: She wasn't at home.
SPEAKER_00: So the coach tells the his neighbor, Hey, tell my wife that I'm not going to be on the plane.
SPEAKER_00: I'm going to drive down to wherever and scout.
SPEAKER_00: I'm not going to be traveling with the team.
SPEAKER_00: The neighbor fails to convey that message.
SPEAKER_00: The wife hears that the plane crashed, no survivors.
SPEAKER_00: She mourns the death of her husband.
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
SPEAKER_00: Factually, her husband is alive in the car, driving to wherever, but she doesn't know that.
SPEAKER_00: And so she starts to feel all of these things based on her perspective.
SPEAKER_00: And I think of the same thing with teenagers, right?
SPEAKER_00: Although I'm on perhaps the other side of it and can think factually like they probably didn't mean that.
SPEAKER_00: Guys are mean.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
SPEAKER_00: Things like that.
SPEAKER_00: Typically.
SPEAKER_00: Guys are mean or guys are stupid, girls are mean, right?
SPEAKER_00: Is that what Doug says?
SPEAKER_00: I'm aware those things happen.
SPEAKER_00: I know that that is their experience that they don't have it all yet.
SPEAKER_00: And perhaps later on they'll think about it and and laugh, or they won't remember it at all, is my hope.
SPEAKER_03: I've started to make a list of these.
SPEAKER_03: I need to finish it, but it's the psalms that will classify them as being lament, which is like, you know, I'm thinking of Psalm 13 or Psalm 88, or I think a third of the Psalms are uh I think that's right.
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
SPEAKER_03: I love how in many of them, not all, there's some that just end on like, and darkness is my only friend, and it sounds like an emo goth kid from the 90s.
SPEAKER_03: Um, but a lot of those psalms have have a but in there.
SPEAKER_03: And a lot of them are like, okay, God, things are bad.
SPEAKER_03: I'm crying, my pillow soaked in tears, you're not around, I'm totally alone, just like just that emo goth kid from the 90s that I love, okay?
SPEAKER_03: And then it says, but you've always been there before, like it's probably gonna be fine.
SPEAKER_03: Um, and I love teaching the psalms for that reason, because like you can validate their feelings in one hand, because like I don't know if I come across this way or not, but I feel like I have really big feelings and really big emotions.
SPEAKER_03: So it's like, yeah, those are here, but you also kind of know this other bigger picture, the bigger world teaching.
SPEAKER_03: And so I you know, I've always found Psalms a great way to both validate and also elevate.
SPEAKER_03: There you go.
SPEAKER_03: That's a good saying that that is validate, it's good alliteration there.
SPEAKER_03: Well, it's not alliteration, it's rhyming.
SPEAKER_03: Alliteration is the same initial sound.
SPEAKER_03: Right.
SPEAKER_03: Or yeah, letter of validate and elevate.
SPEAKER_03: Thank you.
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I like it.
SPEAKER_03: Mic drop, boom.
SPEAKER_03: All right, I'm out.
SPEAKER_03: I won't say anything else that good.
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
SPEAKER_03: Sarah's not here to tell us to stop, so this could go on for hours.
SPEAKER_01: Psalm 30 does goes back and forth, back and forth, you know, talking about things being uh, you know, I I will exalt you because you lifted me out of the depths.
SPEAKER_01: I mean, it starts like he's praising, but I was down, my enemies were gloating over me.
SPEAKER_01: I called to you, you brought me up.
SPEAKER_01: I mean it's back and forth and back and forth.
SPEAKER_00: Evaluate and elevate.
SPEAKER_00: Validate.
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, but validate the way that you feel.
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_03: I mean, I guess you could evaluate first, but validate like, yeah, of course you feel that way.
SPEAKER_03: And then elevate the perspective and be like, well, but also so I'm I'm not a counselor, but I think that's a technique.
SPEAKER_03: I think that's part of counseling when something is like a a big feeling, as they say, something's traumatic, is that like you get in that part of your brain and like you have to go there, but then but then you have to withdraw from that part of the brain and and get into more of the thinking part of the brain and less the feeling, and that's how you uh desensitize yourself to that sense of pain.
SPEAKER_03: Not a counselor.
SPEAKER_00: I read something like that at one point.
SPEAKER_00: Well, so I thought it was alliteration because I thought you said evaluate and then elevate.
SPEAKER_00: Validate and elevate.
SPEAKER_00: I like both of those things the validate and um and going back to your initial question, probably about how do you deal with that with teenagers, I think it's asking a lot of questions.
SPEAKER_00: I think it's evaluating why do you feel that way?
SPEAKER_00: Why do you think they said that?
SPEAKER_00: Have you ever said something like that?
SPEAKER_00: Why did you say it?
SPEAKER_00: How do you think it made them feeling it?
SPEAKER_00: And it takes them, I I've heard, and I think this was a this is another psychology therapy thing, is taking yourself out of it and viewing it like you watch an episode of Friends or something.
SPEAKER_00: Like when I'm thinking of when when Ross is trying to put on the really tight pants or something like that.
SPEAKER_00: Never seen an episode of Friends.
SPEAKER_03: I've seen one episode.
SPEAKER_03: It was with her when we were not even dating yet.
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
SPEAKER_03: I wanted to be around pretty girls.
SPEAKER_03: So I watched an episode of Friends.
SPEAKER_00: Got a wife in the deal.
SPEAKER_00: He is panicking, he's he's trying to avoid embarrassment that is soon to come if he doesn't get out in a reasonable amount of time.
SPEAKER_00: And so we he's really just being super franc at that point.
SPEAKER_00: But we laugh at it because it's not our embarrassment.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
SPEAKER_00: Right?
SPEAKER_00: And we don't even get secondhand embarrassment because we know it's just a show.
SPEAKER_00: And when we can step out of our own lives and out of the stories that we're making in our own heads, and just say and watch it from an outsider's perspective, we can then show so much more grace on I've said things too that came off the wrong way.
SPEAKER_00: Um, or even if I stand by what I said, like there's interpretation that comes into play as well.
SPEAKER_00: Um, and I think it just allows everyone um to to live in a more grace-filled relationship with can we say community again?
SPEAKER_00: To live in more grace-filled community with one another.
SPEAKER_00: That when we disagree and when we buttheads and when we poke and tease at one another, that doesn't mean we're exiled from community.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it just means that we swerved into the bar ditch for a little bit.
SPEAKER_00: Um, but you go into the bar ditch when you break down.
SPEAKER_00: Like it's not safe to stay on the road, right?
SPEAKER_00: You go into the bar ditch, but there's always a path back.
SPEAKER_00: And so being the the truck that pulls up to help repair or pull them out of the bar ditch and get them back on the path, I think that says more than exiling them.
SPEAKER_00: I think that's more of a healthy relationship, of course, than exiling them to their own barditch.
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, and a struggle that I have is like we're talking about things, um, assuming like it's a lack of information on the part of like the teen I know that as an adult, especially as a teenager, I didn't want you to logically walk me through that this person is not actually the worst person since Hitler.
SPEAKER_03: Okay, I wanted you to agree with me and just like let me spiral, right?
SPEAKER_03: And so part of it is just I don't know, just like acknowledging like okay, it's not a lack of information on this person's part.
SPEAKER_03: Like, if you walked them through it, well, have you said something stupid?
SPEAKER_03: Like, did you mean it?
SPEAKER_03: Um just and so I think I think part of it is just um being there is the guardrail that they expect you to be, and not and not validating their worst um habits, but not over talking it, and that's what I'm guilty of, and just patronizing people to the point that they're just put out by me.
SPEAKER_00: So we're all aware that you're the average of your five closest friends.
SPEAKER_00: We've heard that for probably decades now.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
SPEAKER_00: I've realized that now I intentionally put myself with with people that challenge me in certain ways, whether that's physically or mentally, what whatever of the elise that it might be.
SPEAKER_00: Um I'm I'm seeking that out more than ever.
SPEAKER_00: But that probably wasn't always the case.
SPEAKER_00: Do you find that as as you're growing um in maturity, that at first you're looking for someone to validate how wrong that person is and how right you are?
SPEAKER_00: So you're looking for five people that agree with you?
SPEAKER_03: Oh, for sure.
SPEAKER_01: Oh, for sure.
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, and I mean I have people in my life now that sometimes I just like imagine if they were in the room, like, what would I do?
SPEAKER_03: And just like having them in my life, um, I I don't need to call that that there's just certain people that like you know that you don't need to call and ask them what's the right thing to do because you know what they're gonna say and you know that they're right.
SPEAKER_03: And so just having their influence, having their um their their aura in your life.
SPEAKER_01: Would you do this in front of you know this respected person?
SPEAKER_01: You know, no, I wouldn't.
SPEAKER_01: Well then don't do it.
SPEAKER_01: You know, that kind of thinking.
SPEAKER_01: And and that's why we need life groups, that's why we need community.
SPEAKER_01: You know, life groups are to intentionally not this is for the 20-year-olds and this is for the you know, the 30-year-olds, and this is for the 60-year-olds.
SPEAKER_01: No, we want them to be intergenerational, and that because you like you said, you want to surround yourself with different people with um that you respect, and that may not be all the people in your age group, and you want some of all of that.
SPEAKER_00: So I'll tell this quick story, and then I think we're about out of time.
SPEAKER_00: But I remember we had the goat cook-off in Goldway, Texas, when I was in junior high.
SPEAKER_00: I'm sure it still happens now, and it was a big deal for junior high kids, and there's like a little dance on the basketball court in the park afterwards, and it's it's the closest thing you have to homecoming in prom for junior high kids, right?
SPEAKER_00: And it's in the springtime, and I remember if you're from a city and you're listening to this.
SPEAKER_03: You're like, I rented a limo for a prom, and John's like, Yeah, we uh killed a goat and cooked it in the backyard.
SPEAKER_00: And it's at the local park, and there's knocker ball and crawfish catching, crazy carnival games, overpriced lemonade.
SPEAKER_00: But I remember being real concerned, not real concerned, I remember having two options of which shirt I'm going to wear, and I could not decide which one was gonna be the the one that I chose.
SPEAKER_00: And so I asked the only person of fashion in my life at the time, my older sister.
SPEAKER_00: And she picked a shirt, and immediately I realized that's not the shirt I wanted you to pick.
SPEAKER_00: And although I couldn't make the decision for myself, it was evident to me in that time that I really just wanted your validation that this one that I was kind of leaning towards was the right choice.
SPEAKER_00: But instead you said this one, and I probably wore this one anyways, like out of spike for her or out of what I really wanted to do.
SPEAKER_00: But she was very pivotal in that moment, not because her wisdom was so profound, but because she enlightened me to how to what I already knew to be true in that time, and in the same way, like you can call a person up and you can ask them, but you already know the answer.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's never a knowledge problem.
SPEAKER_00: Rarely ever is it a knowledge problem.
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, 99% of choices in life are are not that morally complex.
SPEAKER_03: Occasionally that they are most of the time, we know the answer.
SPEAKER_03: And when I was a little older than you, I had a I had one of those more what I wanted to make it complex issues in my youth ministry.
SPEAKER_03: And I had an elder that I thought a lot of, and as I asked him the question of what's the right thing to do, I was like, never mind, I know, I just didn't want to do it.
SPEAKER_03: Right.
SPEAKER_01: I think we all want to be validated.
SPEAKER_01: We do.
SPEAKER_01: We want to be heard and validated.
SPEAKER_01: That's right.
SPEAKER_01: And that's what makes us human.
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, that's right.
SPEAKER_03: You want to take the easy way out, and you need to have people that, as you say, hey, I want to take the easy way out, as you say it to them, you're like, never mind, I'm just gonna go do the right thing.
SPEAKER_03: That's right.
SPEAKER_02: For sure.
SPEAKER_00: Well, thank you for tuning in today to Austin Avenue Unplugged.
SPEAKER_00: We've made a point for this podcast not to be a time of a commercial for the church and its ministries or for it to be special teaching, but really just to sit in on conversations that we would be having anyways.
SPEAKER_00: Um, and I enjoyed today's conversation, and I pray y'all did too.
SPEAKER_00: All right.
SPEAKER_00: Gonna close this in prayer then?
SPEAKER_00: I would love to.
SPEAKER_00: All right.
SPEAKER_00: Let's bow.
SPEAKER_00: Uh dear God, we're just so grateful any opportunity that we have uh to share you and to be around other people.
SPEAKER_00: Uh, God, as we look back, we can notice um how you've been faithful to us um in the ways that we have gone off the path um over the years, God.
SPEAKER_00: And I pray that we can remember that in the present moments and in the future moments to come as well.
SPEAKER_00: Uh, that you truly will will be there for us, that that you have um a plan, that you have an end game, God, um, and that is your son, and and that was the resurrection and still is God.
SPEAKER_00: I pray that we can uh lean into that um more and more as we go.
SPEAKER_00: I I pray for this church and the many um opportunities that we have coming up um to to combat isolation um and this this um idea of of doing it all alone, that we do seek out um friendships, relationships, and having community with one another so that we can pull each other out of the bar ditches.
SPEAKER_00: That is our prayer guidance in your name that we all pray.
SPEAKER_00: Amen.