WEBVTT 00:00:03.600 --> 00:00:08.000 Howdy howdy folks and welcome back to the Austin Avenue Unplugged podcast. 00:00:08.080 --> 00:00:09.199 Can that be our official welcome? 00:00:09.679 --> 00:00:10.400 Howdy howdy howdy. 00:00:10.560 --> 00:00:11.359 Howdy howdy folks. 00:00:11.679 --> 00:00:12.080 Is that okay? 00:00:12.320 --> 00:00:12.480 No. 00:00:12.800 --> 00:00:14.480 I start every class off like that. 00:00:14.800 --> 00:00:19.039 It can be this once official, but not it's not Canada. 00:00:19.440 --> 00:00:21.039 Have you seen The Land Before Time? 00:00:21.359 --> 00:00:21.600 Yeah. 00:00:21.760 --> 00:00:22.559 Is that a part of it? 00:00:23.039 --> 00:00:24.960 Howdy howdy is in The Land Before Time. 00:00:25.199 --> 00:00:27.760 Yeah, it's Ducky, and she says howdy, howdy, howdy. 00:00:28.320 --> 00:00:28.640 Okay. 00:00:28.800 --> 00:00:30.399 I did not I don't remember that. 00:00:30.719 --> 00:00:32.159 I only remember them eating leaves. 00:00:32.479 --> 00:00:34.560 Gonna have to go and thinking that was a good idea. 00:00:34.799 --> 00:00:35.439 Oh dear. 00:00:37.280 --> 00:00:40.240 Welcome back to the Austin Avenue Unplugged podcast. 00:00:40.320 --> 00:00:41.439 I haven't done this in a while. 00:00:41.600 --> 00:00:42.960 When was the last time y'all were on? 00:00:43.280 --> 00:00:44.880 We haven't done it in a while, period. 00:00:45.039 --> 00:00:45.200 Yeah. 00:00:45.600 --> 00:00:46.960 I think it was at the end of the school year. 00:00:47.119 --> 00:00:48.799 I was about to say, at least for me it was. 00:00:48.880 --> 00:00:54.079 I've had a pretty busy summer, and I know um a lot of families around here have as well. 00:00:54.240 --> 00:00:57.439 So a school is back in session at the time of recording this. 00:00:57.520 --> 00:00:58.799 Football is just around the corner. 00:00:59.039 --> 00:00:59.600 Just around the corner. 00:00:59.759 --> 00:01:02.719 Uh preseason games are happening right now, some scrimmages. 00:01:02.880 --> 00:01:04.719 Uh so a lot to be excited about. 00:01:04.959 --> 00:01:05.200 Yeah. 00:01:06.239 --> 00:01:06.480 Yeah. 00:01:06.640 --> 00:01:16.400 Our kids are back, have already started some cross-country meets and tennis tournaments, and I know volleyball has started, and so yeah, lots of kids are busy doing volleyball. 00:01:16.879 --> 00:01:21.760 Since we haven't started our Wednesday night meals yet, it hasn't felt like school has started yet for me. 00:01:21.920 --> 00:01:25.920 Because I've been asking kids, you know, are you going into which grade? 00:01:26.480 --> 00:01:27.920 I heard you do that the other day. 00:01:28.079 --> 00:01:33.439 And I was like, no, Giles, they're in that grade in full swing in there. 00:01:33.680 --> 00:01:38.799 But once the meals start back up, I think it'll officially feel for me that the school year started. 00:01:38.879 --> 00:01:40.719 Or once I I stop for the first time. 00:01:40.879 --> 00:01:41.280 Oh, yes. 00:01:41.519 --> 00:01:43.439 Not many teachers are out in the first two weeks of school. 00:01:43.680 --> 00:01:43.920 That's true. 00:01:44.560 --> 00:01:59.200 Because you don't have children in the home, so you're not up on the rhythm of school, and when church rhythm doesn't visibly ch I mean, your rhythm has changed because you're not going to camps and mission trips and all that, but like the Wednesday nights and the Sunday mornings look the same as they did in the summer. 00:01:59.359 --> 00:01:59.599 Yeah. 00:01:59.680 --> 00:01:59.920 Yeah. 00:02:00.079 --> 00:02:00.799 For now they do. 00:02:01.200 --> 00:02:04.879 But it has to be feeling real because of the prayer vigil coming up, right? 00:02:05.040 --> 00:02:06.319 Have you guys been preparing for that? 00:02:06.560 --> 00:02:07.120 Yeah, we have. 00:02:07.280 --> 00:02:12.960 We've taken the pictures of the kids, they've put out some prayer cards for them, and I'm starting to type them out already. 00:02:13.360 --> 00:02:13.599 Okay. 00:02:13.680 --> 00:02:13.840 Okay. 00:02:14.000 --> 00:02:16.639 Kit Kit mentioned there were some stations on Wednesday night. 00:02:16.879 --> 00:02:17.280 That's right. 00:02:17.360 --> 00:02:17.599 Yeah. 00:02:17.680 --> 00:02:27.520 We we went around and did some prayer stations where they talked a little bit about a Bible story that applied to that prayer prompt, uh, and then they wrote out their own uh based on that. 00:02:27.680 --> 00:02:29.520 So I'm excited for that day. 00:02:29.599 --> 00:02:41.199 Um, and I hope our viewers um get the opportunity pretty soon, I would think in the next few weeks to sign up and also join us in praying for our teenagers and really all of our youth, even our kids. 00:02:41.439 --> 00:02:52.719 Yeah, and so we explicitly say that this is not like a promotional ministry podcast, that it's kind of like more kind of behind the scenes, but this week they kind of overlap. 00:02:53.120 --> 00:03:00.400 Because we were gonna kind of talk about kind of the rhythm of church life and the season that we're currently in. 00:03:00.560 --> 00:03:06.159 So uh I don't know how many people know this, but the summer's called the summer slump in church life. 00:03:06.319 --> 00:03:10.080 That like attendance goes down, giving goes down. 00:03:10.319 --> 00:03:22.159 If you're smart, you don't plan a whole lot of events that are gonna like be dampened by that unless your name is Giles Wooten and you're doing the youth ministry, in which case none of this applies to you. 00:03:22.479 --> 00:03:26.560 And if your name isn't Giles Wooten and you're doing youth ministry, this also doesn't apply to you. 00:03:26.960 --> 00:03:27.520 Sure, sure. 00:03:27.759 --> 00:03:40.800 But for Austin Avenue, uh yeah, so so you and Shannon are a little bit outside of the summer slump, obviously, but for the rest of us, um things move at a kind of a slower pace. 00:03:40.960 --> 00:03:47.039 Your volunteers are not as available or they need a rest, and it's just it's just different. 00:03:47.199 --> 00:04:01.759 So what you do is you spend the whole time kind of gearing up for when that rhythm hits because the two times people are willing to really commit to something that they ordinarily might not commit to is back to school and January 1st. 00:04:01.919 --> 00:04:02.240 Right. 00:04:02.479 --> 00:04:02.719 Right. 00:04:03.039 --> 00:04:15.919 And even if um people aren't gonna be out of town all summer, take you know a two-month-long vacation, it's still nice to have that two-month break from a thing that you've did for the rest of the year, like serving the meals. 00:04:16.319 --> 00:04:18.480 The Wednesday night meals is a perfect example. 00:04:18.800 --> 00:04:20.240 Yeah, that's what I was thinking of. 00:04:20.800 --> 00:04:27.279 We've had a lot of the same meal teams and personnel that have been doing the mails since we started them, and this is starting year four now. 00:04:27.600 --> 00:04:37.040 And so, yeah, we gave them a little bit longer break until the month break, September, instead of back to school, which last year we did the back to school time. 00:04:37.199 --> 00:04:45.040 We followed the school calendar, which meant that the the mill teams at the end of the month were doing 10 a year instead of nine. 00:04:45.279 --> 00:04:53.439 And I guess I've never really thought about this out loud, but I'm on the third week middle team, so I I guess that I'm one of the ones that I'm giving a break to. 00:04:53.519 --> 00:04:53.680 Yeah. 00:04:53.759 --> 00:04:56.639 Uh, but but no, people just just need a break. 00:04:56.800 --> 00:05:02.720 And so basically, yeah, um, we're relaunching meals September 2nd. 00:05:02.879 --> 00:05:07.920 Uh, we have life group signups that are out this week, the day that we're doing this. 00:05:08.000 --> 00:05:09.680 I don't know when it's gonna drop. 00:05:09.839 --> 00:05:10.160 Yeah. 00:05:10.319 --> 00:05:19.360 Um, new adult classes for Sunday morning are dropping, and the prayer vigils coming in September in the middle of the month. 00:05:19.920 --> 00:05:21.759 And I'm sure I'm forgetting something. 00:05:22.000 --> 00:05:31.199 Grief share starting, children's um family time Wednesday night, Bible studies are so just a lot of lots of things in September for sure. 00:05:31.439 --> 00:05:32.240 Yes, yeah, yeah. 00:05:32.480 --> 00:05:35.680 So much so that I I think maybe we overprogrammed it. 00:05:35.839 --> 00:05:41.199 Like maybe next year I'm gonna like slow walk it out and maybe do the prayer vigil in like October, maybe. 00:05:41.279 --> 00:05:41.759 I don't know. 00:05:42.160 --> 00:05:50.399 It just seems that um lots of sermons lately, and I've listened to different preachers on podcasts and things, and lots of things are talking about. 00:05:50.560 --> 00:06:05.759 You can do church alone, you have to be in community, and it's just exciting to think that the things that we're offering, um, that it seems like everybody in ministry is talking about right now is coming alongside somebody else, like life groups are coming alongside somebody else. 00:06:05.920 --> 00:06:22.079 Our Sunday school classes um talking about, you know, Romans have been just talking about this is a family and this is unity and this is how to be unified and not um you know have different issues come up like you are all one because of Christ. 00:06:22.399 --> 00:06:27.600 And then you know, sermons that Doug has preached have been about you know, our family worship together. 00:06:27.759 --> 00:06:33.839 We we go out and worship, we're worshiping all day long, um, just in community, we're in community. 00:06:33.920 --> 00:06:40.079 And so that's exciting the things we're offering um that look like that and help us in that. 00:06:40.480 --> 00:06:42.079 Exciting is definitely a good word for it. 00:06:42.160 --> 00:06:43.360 I'm I'm jazzed up about it. 00:06:43.439 --> 00:06:46.319 I'm excited, mainly because I just got through my busy season. 00:06:46.399 --> 00:06:46.879 Yeah. 00:06:47.040 --> 00:06:52.560 And and I was listening to a podcast the other day that was not ministry related um in any way. 00:06:52.639 --> 00:06:54.959 It was it was purely just for entertainment. 00:06:55.199 --> 00:07:04.240 And I at one segment during this thing, these two uh girls are talking, and they're kind of talking about the rhythms of motherhood and and it takes a village, you hear that quite a bit. 00:07:04.399 --> 00:07:07.600 But three or four minutes in, I realized they're talking about the church. 00:07:07.839 --> 00:07:16.480 They weren't, but all the things that they said, oh, I really needed this during this time, and one was older and was reflecting on her experiences and giving wisdom to the younger one. 00:07:16.800 --> 00:07:29.120 Like, this is a great picture of what the church is, and all of their topics that they were referring to were church topics, were things that we offer here, and it wasn't like worldly, but it wasn't a sacred conversation. 00:07:29.199 --> 00:07:32.319 It was it was very secular and just regular in every way. 00:07:32.480 --> 00:07:33.759 Yeah, um, it was pretty neat. 00:07:34.079 --> 00:07:39.920 Another thing I found interesting was how different our worlds can be, although we're like two offices away from each other. 00:07:40.000 --> 00:07:40.160 Yeah. 00:07:40.319 --> 00:07:45.439 I remember conversations in May when you're longing for the summer to come. 00:07:45.519 --> 00:07:45.759 Yeah. 00:07:45.920 --> 00:07:52.720 For your vacation, spending time with your family, uh, maybe it's the meals that are over, whatever it might be. 00:07:52.959 --> 00:08:03.680 And I'm at 120% capacity already, thinking about all the stuff that we have, planning, preparing, buying, uh, prepping for classes and sermons. 00:08:03.839 --> 00:08:10.160 There's two weeks where I'm teaching 10 Bible classes and two sermons and a nightly devo, and it's a lot. 00:08:10.480 --> 00:08:11.600 You need some interns. 00:08:12.079 --> 00:08:12.959 Yeah, for sure. 00:08:13.120 --> 00:08:13.680 For sure. 00:08:13.839 --> 00:08:16.399 Um it's almost like we've been talking about that, Miles. 00:08:16.879 --> 00:08:21.839 But we're we're 40 feet away from each other, yeah, and we have two vastly different experiences. 00:08:22.000 --> 00:08:26.160 And I did this and I thought it was a healthy practice, and I I still think it is. 00:08:26.240 --> 00:08:27.439 I'll get y'all's take on it. 00:08:27.600 --> 00:08:31.920 When I get overwhelmed, I get on Google Maps, I actually do this and I zoom out. 00:08:32.159 --> 00:08:38.000 And I just think about how I don't know, the more I zoom out, I don't know anybody else's problems in this world. 00:08:38.080 --> 00:08:38.240 Yeah. 00:08:38.480 --> 00:08:40.000 And they don't know mine either. 00:08:40.320 --> 00:08:56.240 So although it can be like all-encompassing in my mind that everything in my life is surrounded by the stress or anxiety that I have around filling the blank, it doesn't even affect the people that are two offices away from me, and it definitely doesn't affect the people that are three zooms away from me. 00:08:56.320 --> 00:08:56.559 Yeah. 00:08:56.720 --> 00:09:01.919 And I've recently found out that I'm obviously not the only one that did this, it's not an original thought. 00:09:02.080 --> 00:09:05.600 Um, but that people call it like getting a bigger world. 00:09:05.919 --> 00:09:20.320 And the most famous example was someone came home from their job at I don't know if it was at Chili's or some restaurant chain like that, and they were complaining to their roommate about how the the shift before them didn't marry the ketchup bottles. 00:09:20.480 --> 00:09:25.039 When you have two half bottles, you open them up and you fill one up, so you have one empty and one full. 00:09:25.440 --> 00:09:28.399 And then the roommate said, You need a bigger world. 00:09:28.639 --> 00:09:36.320 We need bigger things to to worry about and complain and think about, than how someone didn't combine two half-filled or half-empty. 00:09:36.639 --> 00:09:38.480 I would say half-filled ketchup bottles. 00:09:38.879 --> 00:09:39.919 You need a bigger world. 00:09:40.080 --> 00:09:54.159 Um, and I think that's a good perspective for a lot of people uh to hopefully share and to have is whatever is going on in your life, it doesn't mean it means nothing to everyone else, but we can have a bigger world than just what's happening right now. 00:09:54.399 --> 00:09:59.840 Have you ever heard the uh the two-pocket exercise that the rabbis did? 00:10:00.240 --> 00:10:01.120 Two-pocket, no. 00:10:01.279 --> 00:10:09.039 Yeah, so in uh one pocket you carry a piece of paper that says that you are but dust and ashes. 00:10:09.200 --> 00:10:09.519 Okay. 00:10:09.759 --> 00:10:10.080 Okay. 00:10:10.399 --> 00:10:20.639 In the other pocket you put like this, and I'm I'm not like totally comfortable with this, but it says something along the lines of all of this was made for you. 00:10:20.879 --> 00:10:25.519 Okay, yeah, and like you need to have both of those thoughts at the same time. 00:10:25.679 --> 00:10:40.879 And so, like it, like it's a really old if you Google Rabbi Two Pocket teaching, and the translations vary widely, and so you'll but you'll find those two tension things that like, yeah, I'm not that big a deal, like you know, don't worry about it. 00:10:41.120 --> 00:10:50.960 Like, you know, and also like you know, God knows the number of hairs upon your head that like know, like, like look at this world, God, God made it for you. 00:10:51.120 --> 00:11:03.519 I know that I was in a season when I was doing the exact thing that you're doing, and you know, I had I had infants at home, and I mean I felt crushed by all of it. 00:11:03.600 --> 00:11:16.000 And I was in my car, I know where I was, I was driving, and just Abraham's story just came to me when God says, walk through the land, look around, all of it's yours. 00:11:16.159 --> 00:11:19.679 Yeah, and like I just had this sense of peace of like, oh no, man, it's fine. 00:11:19.919 --> 00:11:31.200 Like, you know, I feel crushed now, you know, it's momentary, it's light, you know, um, things are good, and just a lot of the stress that we feel is just managing blessings. 00:11:31.679 --> 00:11:33.840 And so um, I think about that a lot too. 00:11:34.159 --> 00:11:39.279 So it seems like in detail, you can tell me what Bible story, Abraham, where you were, in the car. 00:11:39.519 --> 00:11:42.240 You were probably you know going somewhere, you could probably tell me that. 00:11:42.320 --> 00:11:46.159 What was it that you were so stressed about and that was all just world-consuming? 00:11:46.480 --> 00:11:51.679 Oh, just just everything that I youth ministry in the summer to-do list. 00:11:52.159 --> 00:11:54.240 So just the exact same thing that you're talking about. 00:11:54.559 --> 00:12:06.639 The point I was getting at was you don't remember the details on why you were so stressed and just consumed to the max with whatever was going on, but you do remember that moment of peace. 00:12:06.879 --> 00:12:07.919 It seems in vivid detail. 00:12:08.399 --> 00:12:09.279 So it's weird. 00:12:09.360 --> 00:12:15.679 There's only a handful of like ministry tasks that like I can look back on and be like, that was rough. 00:12:16.000 --> 00:12:21.440 It's it's the times that I mean, I I took a hike in the Guadalupe's alone. 00:12:21.519 --> 00:12:24.159 I think it was like a 10-12 mile hike. 00:12:24.399 --> 00:12:27.120 I pretty much prayed for one kid the entire way. 00:12:27.440 --> 00:12:33.120 And so like I can tell you those times that I really was rowing in a hard boat with a person. 00:12:33.360 --> 00:12:36.399 The ministry task, I can't tell you what I did yesterday. 00:12:36.559 --> 00:12:40.399 I know I worked hard, um, but it's yeah, it's not on my mind. 00:12:40.559 --> 00:12:44.559 But the it's the people thing that you really do carry for a really long time. 00:12:44.720 --> 00:12:45.919 Yeah, absolutely. 00:12:46.399 --> 00:12:52.480 And you almost quoted it for our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 00:12:52.720 --> 00:12:52.799 Yeah. 00:12:53.759 --> 00:12:56.480 I was thinking about quoting First Peter for the two-pocket thing. 00:12:56.639 --> 00:13:02.080 Like you are a chosen race of royal priesthood, or you could do the end of Romans eight, like we are more than conquerors in one pocket. 00:13:02.159 --> 00:13:02.480 I don't know. 00:13:02.559 --> 00:13:05.759 What are some verses you can put in the left pocket that really show us some humility? 00:13:06.159 --> 00:13:12.480 We're in uh in uh Romans now, and so just the beginning to where the Jew and the Gentile are both cooked. 00:13:12.639 --> 00:13:15.120 Yeah, all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. 00:13:15.519 --> 00:13:16.799 That'd be a great left pocket one. 00:13:17.039 --> 00:13:17.200 Yeah. 00:13:17.440 --> 00:13:17.600 Yeah. 00:13:17.759 --> 00:13:19.200 And it is you have to live in both. 00:13:20.480 --> 00:13:30.240 You have to live in both, or you become a narcissist in one pocket, or you just get you so down on yourself, and and then shame comes in, and the devil tries to tell lies to you. 00:13:30.399 --> 00:13:32.639 And so you have to have both things. 00:13:32.799 --> 00:13:36.159 You've gotta you've painted a good picture for me with this. 00:13:36.320 --> 00:13:37.600 You talk about the bar ditches. 00:13:38.080 --> 00:13:39.759 Like you drive in the middle, right? 00:13:39.919 --> 00:13:42.960 You you don't want to live in either one of the bar ditches, like you're saying. 00:13:43.039 --> 00:13:47.200 Like you don't want to purely be oh holy art thou, right? 00:13:47.360 --> 00:13:49.679 Like the devil can use that against you and your pride. 00:13:50.080 --> 00:13:58.799 And but you don't want to be like, I'm just dust and ashes, and you're always in the mud, and everything is better than me. 00:13:58.879 --> 00:13:59.440 I deserve nothing. 00:13:59.679 --> 00:14:04.080 I think that brings us back to Christian community because we have to have somebody to call us out. 00:14:04.240 --> 00:14:12.159 If we are acting too low or too high, our friends are gonna tell us, you know, or if they're gonna walk, we're not gonna we're gonna lose our friends. 00:14:12.240 --> 00:14:12.399 Yeah. 00:14:12.559 --> 00:14:22.000 Um there that's why community is so important to keep you out of the bar ditch, to keep you out of one side or the other, um, and to just keep going toward walking towards Jesus. 00:14:22.720 --> 00:14:26.639 So I feel like men pretty naturally do that. 00:14:26.960 --> 00:14:31.120 That like we do it with a lot of teasing, a lot of joking, right? 00:14:31.360 --> 00:14:37.919 As far as like that, um either lifting you up or maybe humbling you a little bit. 00:14:38.159 --> 00:14:41.679 Um I play pickleball with people that I respect and love. 00:14:41.759 --> 00:14:45.440 I'm humbled on Thursday mornings because I'm the worst player there. 00:14:45.679 --> 00:14:51.279 And uh the the there's a lot of good, godly men that can smoke me at pickleball. 00:14:51.759 --> 00:14:54.399 Um what's that look like for women? 00:14:54.879 --> 00:14:56.080 We do it with tears. 00:14:56.320 --> 00:14:58.320 I believe honestly. 00:14:58.559 --> 00:14:59.600 I think I think we do. 00:14:59.759 --> 00:15:08.480 We we have so much more emotion and relationship is more important to us as far as that um just becoming emotionally attached. 00:15:08.559 --> 00:15:11.120 And I I think we do it with tears for sure. 00:15:11.679 --> 00:15:19.679 Um maybe some do it with the like you said, the teasing or the you know, just the playfulness of it. 00:15:19.840 --> 00:15:25.039 But a lot of times it does take a little bit a little bit different, it's a little bit more challenging, I think, for women. 00:15:25.759 --> 00:15:41.600 Well, and uh I feel like too, like I mean, I've I haven't I didn't say it the first time, but I I also feel like that I mean Giles and Doug and I and other people that I know like I feel like that we don't mind being kind of direct in some of those in some of those hard talks. 00:15:41.840 --> 00:15:43.759 Either, hey, you seem really down. 00:15:43.919 --> 00:15:44.559 Are you okay? 00:15:44.879 --> 00:15:46.639 Is that is that different from women? 00:15:47.360 --> 00:15:48.240 No, I don't think so. 00:15:48.399 --> 00:15:49.440 I think we could say that. 00:15:49.519 --> 00:15:50.240 I think we could. 00:15:50.480 --> 00:15:51.919 I think it would take longer. 00:15:52.799 --> 00:16:08.559 I mean, there would have to be a sit down, you know, we would we would want to be more private about it or sit down and like hey, I see you're down today, but I wouldn't want to say it in front of you, you know, and say, you know, dig into it, because it could be something that does need a private conversation. 00:16:08.799 --> 00:16:13.600 Um and so I think a little bit more guarded um and a lot more emotion. 00:16:13.759 --> 00:16:14.720 I it just is. 00:16:14.799 --> 00:16:16.480 It's just the nature of me. 00:16:17.039 --> 00:16:22.320 I've recognized that my approach and probably my intent is quite different. 00:16:22.480 --> 00:16:33.279 Um, and and I don't want to make a claim that this is like guy versus girl, that this approach is different, but Doug has shared a story as well where Jennifer had to remind him, like, you're not the problem solver, you just need to listen. 00:16:33.519 --> 00:16:34.480 Yes, that's what I was thinking. 00:16:34.720 --> 00:16:40.639 And so I'll go into the conversation, like, hey, you seem down, and mentally I'm thinking, I'm gonna listen to what she's gotta say. 00:16:40.799 --> 00:16:42.960 That way I can I can help her out. 00:16:43.039 --> 00:16:43.120 Right. 00:16:43.279 --> 00:16:46.320 Like I I can help be the solution to whatever problem it is. 00:16:46.639 --> 00:16:51.759 I can formulate a plan, I can execute the plan, yeah, and then the problem is solved. 00:16:51.840 --> 00:16:53.759 And we can go back to this baseline. 00:16:54.080 --> 00:16:56.240 That's not a real world thing, by the way. 00:16:56.559 --> 00:16:57.679 But we think that it is. 00:16:57.919 --> 00:17:04.079 It's like, well, then after this, we have just 30 years of just boredom of just everything being perfect. 00:17:04.240 --> 00:17:20.160 Like I think we've told the story before of a we were newly married, and I went across the street in my shorts to the church building to grab something down in the kitchen, and an older gentleman was in there, and he was said some made a comment like, I can't believe you're wearing shorts in the church building. 00:17:20.319 --> 00:17:29.359 And I was so offended and so sad, and I went home and I started crying, and I wanted to tell my husband, I cannot believe this just happened, and I didn't I didn't know, I'm sorry. 00:17:29.440 --> 00:17:33.519 And I was so sad and Lays is marching over there to say something to fix it. 00:17:33.680 --> 00:17:38.319 I'm like, Oh, I didn't want you to confront him, I wanted you to just comfort me. 00:17:38.880 --> 00:17:44.559 And yeah, it's like we just want to we want the comfort, not necessarily the fix. 00:17:44.640 --> 00:17:48.160 We just want to talk talking about it helps us release it. 00:17:48.400 --> 00:17:58.240 Um but I think you guys, and I understand sometimes I act more sometimes for Callie, I'll try to fix things, and she's like, Mom, I just want you to listen. 00:17:58.400 --> 00:18:01.680 Um and so yeah, there that I think that's where we differ sometimes. 00:18:02.319 --> 00:18:03.200 Okay, Giles. 00:18:03.279 --> 00:18:05.519 So you're a are you Gen Z? 00:18:06.160 --> 00:18:07.440 You would know better than that. 00:18:07.519 --> 00:18:09.039 I was do you know the dates? 00:18:10.480 --> 00:18:13.680 Yeah, so yeah, I think that's Gen Z. 00:18:13.839 --> 00:18:13.920 Okay. 00:18:14.480 --> 00:18:14.880 I'm not sure. 00:18:15.279 --> 00:18:15.759 What does that mean? 00:18:15.839 --> 00:18:16.880 And I'm a Scorpio. 00:18:17.119 --> 00:18:19.119 No, no, no, not going there. 00:18:19.759 --> 00:18:21.119 So tell me all about myself. 00:18:21.599 --> 00:18:25.039 Uh Giles and or sorry, Doug and I are both Gen X. 00:18:25.599 --> 00:18:35.759 Uh so do you do you think that we that that our generation handles things like that different from say Gen Z or even the younger millennials? 00:18:36.240 --> 00:18:38.319 I I think experience comes with it. 00:18:38.480 --> 00:18:48.160 I think um having a spouse that you all have had those um experiences together and y'all have talked about it like there y'all figure out better ways to do it. 00:18:48.319 --> 00:19:05.359 I can even just think about when I was younger, if I was it could come off in a way where I was telling you how to fix it, and like we're coming up with a game plan because I thought I had the idea of well, here's your problem, here's your solution, go and do it. 00:19:05.599 --> 00:19:15.279 And I think there's a fine line in between coaching someone up and reassuring them, giving them confidence or encouragement um in that time. 00:19:15.440 --> 00:19:28.240 But in terms of um just approaching it straightforward or not, I don't know if I've if I've recognized I haven't been looking for them, so now I will look for them to see if there's any generational differences. 00:19:28.480 --> 00:19:28.640 Yeah. 00:19:29.039 --> 00:19:32.960 I ha I heard this in a podcast and I wrote it down so I would not forget it. 00:19:33.279 --> 00:19:37.119 But like when you're young, you are driven by your feelings and your desires. 00:19:37.359 --> 00:19:52.079 And then when as you get older, like you said, with experience and marriage and just years, you you make some commitments and you have some convictions, and then you can be ruled by your commitments and your convictions instead of your feelings and desires. 00:19:52.559 --> 00:19:53.599 I heard that same thing. 00:19:54.000 --> 00:19:55.039 It it comes with maturity. 00:19:55.119 --> 00:19:59.359 I was talking about Paul and Timothy, and yeah, I just loved it. 00:19:59.759 --> 00:20:10.640 Well, that explains like almost every stereotypical rebellious teenager fight against the stodgy traditional village elders, right? 00:20:10.880 --> 00:20:17.440 Is is the older folks uh you said that they're ruled by commitments they've made, convictions that they have. 00:20:17.680 --> 00:20:18.000 Uh-huh. 00:20:18.319 --> 00:20:38.160 And so, yeah, no, no, I I think that is a very logical way to kind of understand when when you're at loggerheads, especially with the younger person, is just ask, so is this like a conviction or is this like something that you feel and just like understanding that it's it's not gonna fix the problem. 00:20:38.400 --> 00:20:41.119 Yeah, because when you're young, you don't have a lot of commitments. 00:20:41.279 --> 00:20:47.279 You don't even understand what a commitment is or conviction you haven't been convicted, or you know, you don't have those. 00:20:47.839 --> 00:20:54.640 Those come with age and experience and maturity, and and so yeah, you're just all over the place with all these feelings and all these desires. 00:20:54.880 --> 00:21:09.680 And what our job is as parents and even as teachers and ministers is to point them towards a conviction and a commitment to bow their heart to Jesus, um, to commit themselves to walking on the middle of the path and not in the right or left barn itch. 00:21:10.000 --> 00:21:14.400 Um, and to be ruled by a commitment to our our faith. 00:21:14.640 --> 00:21:15.279 Yeah. 00:21:16.240 --> 00:21:28.480 So Giles, uh, I would love to hear you speak to that about managing those those two things and uh youth work as far as like feelings is like a big part of being a teenager. 00:21:28.640 --> 00:21:39.759 It's a big part of faith in general, it's a big part of the youth ministry world, um, but also incorporating that with the conviction and commitment. 00:21:40.079 --> 00:21:45.599 So, as y'all were saying that, I was thinking, could this go back to crafting a bigger world? 00:21:45.839 --> 00:21:46.079 Right? 00:21:46.160 --> 00:21:49.839 The older you get, the more convictions and commitments, and the more experience you have. 00:21:50.079 --> 00:21:55.759 You have you've had time to craft a bigger world so that when something arises, you know it's not the end of the world. 00:21:55.920 --> 00:21:58.559 And you know you don't have to act right away. 00:21:58.720 --> 00:22:04.640 Um, whatever is Seldom or whatever is urgent is seldom important, whatever is important is seldom urgent. 00:22:04.799 --> 00:22:10.400 But for a teenager, like everything is important and everything is urgent, needs to be taken of right away. 00:22:10.559 --> 00:22:15.680 But I think it's because they haven't had ample time to craft a big enough world yet. 00:22:15.759 --> 00:22:25.200 Uh that when they see that it it is a big deal to them when they have those feelings, um, it is urgent, it needs to be taken of right away, and it's super important. 00:22:25.279 --> 00:22:35.440 It it's the only thing uh that's going on, it's the only gears that are turning until there's it's resolved, um, and then they can move on to the next thing. 00:22:35.680 --> 00:22:47.119 So the last thing I want to do is to make a teenager feel, or even if I directly say what you're going through, what you're experiencing, the emotions you have, they're no big deal. 00:22:47.359 --> 00:22:47.519 Yeah. 00:22:47.920 --> 00:22:48.319 Not important. 00:22:48.720 --> 00:22:51.680 They're not important to anybody but you right now. 00:22:51.920 --> 00:22:52.160 Yeah. 00:22:52.319 --> 00:22:54.880 Uh because that's a conviction that I have, right? 00:22:54.960 --> 00:22:55.119 Yeah. 00:22:55.519 --> 00:22:56.640 But that's not a conviction that's not. 00:22:56.880 --> 00:22:58.319 Your feelings are dumb, right? 00:22:58.640 --> 00:23:00.240 That's not a conviction that they share it. 00:23:00.400 --> 00:23:01.920 Like, that is not their story. 00:23:02.000 --> 00:23:02.640 That is not. 00:23:02.799 --> 00:23:08.000 And I look at like the happiest day in human history, and I think of the resurrection. 00:23:08.079 --> 00:23:08.160 Yeah. 00:23:08.319 --> 00:23:10.720 And I think of the tears that were shed on that day. 00:23:10.880 --> 00:23:14.799 Like, I think of Mary Magdalene, and it's like, this should be the happiest day ever. 00:23:14.880 --> 00:23:15.759 Why are you crying? 00:23:15.839 --> 00:23:16.000 Yeah. 00:23:16.160 --> 00:23:18.000 Well, she doesn't know he was resurrected. 00:23:18.079 --> 00:23:18.240 Yeah. 00:23:18.400 --> 00:23:19.680 She thought the body was stolen. 00:23:19.759 --> 00:23:25.440 And so her experience, although had she had had all the facts, she would have rejoiced. 00:23:25.519 --> 00:23:25.680 Yeah. 00:23:26.000 --> 00:23:28.960 But because she didn't, her experience was not that at all. 00:23:29.119 --> 00:23:30.720 There's a movie called We Are Marshall. 00:23:30.880 --> 00:23:31.680 Have y'all seen it before? 00:23:32.000 --> 00:23:32.079 Yeah. 00:23:32.240 --> 00:23:32.559 Okay. 00:23:32.960 --> 00:23:34.720 Where help me get the facts straight. 00:23:34.880 --> 00:23:40.160 An assistant coach is going to scout, but the the plane crashes with the team. 00:23:40.319 --> 00:23:43.440 And the wife, because this was before like just texting, right? 00:23:43.519 --> 00:23:44.720 There's an answering machine. 00:23:44.799 --> 00:23:45.759 She wasn't at home. 00:23:45.920 --> 00:23:50.480 So the coach tells the his neighbor, Hey, tell my wife that I'm not going to be on the plane. 00:23:50.640 --> 00:23:53.759 I'm going to drive down to wherever and scout. 00:23:53.839 --> 00:23:55.920 I'm not going to be traveling with the team. 00:23:56.160 --> 00:23:58.960 The neighbor fails to convey that message. 00:23:59.200 --> 00:24:01.759 The wife hears that the plane crashed, no survivors. 00:24:01.920 --> 00:24:03.599 She mourns the death of her husband. 00:24:03.759 --> 00:24:04.079 Yeah. 00:24:04.319 --> 00:24:09.920 Factually, her husband is alive in the car, driving to wherever, but she doesn't know that. 00:24:10.000 --> 00:24:13.519 And so she starts to feel all of these things based on her perspective. 00:24:13.680 --> 00:24:16.000 And I think of the same thing with teenagers, right? 00:24:16.160 --> 00:24:22.160 Although I'm on perhaps the other side of it and can think factually like they probably didn't mean that. 00:24:22.720 --> 00:24:24.240 Guys are mean. 00:24:25.200 --> 00:24:25.680 Yeah. 00:24:25.920 --> 00:24:26.720 Things like that. 00:24:26.960 --> 00:24:27.440 Typically. 00:24:27.680 --> 00:24:30.319 Guys are mean or guys are stupid, girls are mean, right? 00:24:30.400 --> 00:24:31.440 Is that what Doug says? 00:24:32.960 --> 00:24:34.400 I'm aware those things happen. 00:24:34.559 --> 00:24:39.519 I know that that is their experience that they don't have it all yet. 00:24:39.680 --> 00:24:45.359 And perhaps later on they'll think about it and and laugh, or they won't remember it at all, is my hope. 00:24:45.680 --> 00:24:47.440 I've started to make a list of these. 00:24:47.519 --> 00:25:02.000 I need to finish it, but it's the psalms that will classify them as being lament, which is like, you know, I'm thinking of Psalm 13 or Psalm 88, or I think a third of the Psalms are uh I think that's right. 00:25:02.160 --> 00:25:02.640 Yeah. 00:25:02.880 --> 00:25:12.000 I love how in many of them, not all, there's some that just end on like, and darkness is my only friend, and it sounds like an emo goth kid from the 90s. 00:25:12.160 --> 00:25:16.480 Um, but a lot of those psalms have have a but in there. 00:25:16.880 --> 00:25:19.680 And a lot of them are like, okay, God, things are bad. 00:25:19.839 --> 00:25:28.720 I'm crying, my pillow soaked in tears, you're not around, I'm totally alone, just like just that emo goth kid from the 90s that I love, okay? 00:25:29.039 --> 00:25:33.359 And then it says, but you've always been there before, like it's probably gonna be fine. 00:25:33.599 --> 00:25:46.240 Um, and I love teaching the psalms for that reason, because like you can validate their feelings in one hand, because like I don't know if I come across this way or not, but I feel like I have really big feelings and really big emotions. 00:25:46.400 --> 00:25:53.759 So it's like, yeah, those are here, but you also kind of know this other bigger picture, the bigger world teaching. 00:25:53.920 --> 00:25:59.039 And so I you know, I've always found Psalms a great way to both validate and also elevate. 00:25:59.119 --> 00:25:59.599 There you go. 00:25:59.680 --> 00:26:03.039 That's a good saying that that is validate, it's good alliteration there. 00:26:03.200 --> 00:26:05.200 Well, it's not alliteration, it's rhyming. 00:26:05.519 --> 00:26:07.759 Alliteration is the same initial sound. 00:26:08.000 --> 00:26:08.240 Right. 00:26:08.319 --> 00:26:11.039 Or yeah, letter of validate and elevate. 00:26:11.279 --> 00:26:11.599 Thank you. 00:26:11.759 --> 00:26:12.559 Yeah, I like it. 00:26:12.799 --> 00:26:13.759 Mic drop, boom. 00:26:13.920 --> 00:26:14.559 All right, I'm out. 00:26:14.640 --> 00:26:16.000 I won't say anything else that good. 00:26:16.720 --> 00:26:16.880 Yeah. 00:26:17.119 --> 00:26:20.240 Sarah's not here to tell us to stop, so this could go on for hours. 00:26:20.720 --> 00:26:30.160 Psalm 30 does goes back and forth, back and forth, you know, talking about things being uh, you know, I I will exalt you because you lifted me out of the depths. 00:26:30.240 --> 00:26:36.079 I mean, it starts like he's praising, but I was down, my enemies were gloating over me. 00:26:36.160 --> 00:26:37.839 I called to you, you brought me up. 00:26:37.920 --> 00:26:39.599 I mean it's back and forth and back and forth. 00:26:40.319 --> 00:26:42.000 Evaluate and elevate. 00:26:42.960 --> 00:26:43.440 Validate. 00:26:43.680 --> 00:26:44.240 Validate. 00:26:44.400 --> 00:26:47.119 Yeah, but validate the way that you feel. 00:26:47.279 --> 00:26:47.680 Yeah, yeah. 00:26:47.839 --> 00:26:52.400 I mean, I guess you could evaluate first, but validate like, yeah, of course you feel that way. 00:26:52.559 --> 00:27:00.240 And then elevate the perspective and be like, well, but also so I'm I'm not a counselor, but I think that's a technique. 00:27:00.319 --> 00:27:21.759 I think that's part of counseling when something is like a a big feeling, as they say, something's traumatic, is that like you get in that part of your brain and like you have to go there, but then but then you have to withdraw from that part of the brain and and get into more of the thinking part of the brain and less the feeling, and that's how you uh desensitize yourself to that sense of pain. 00:27:21.920 --> 00:27:22.799 Not a counselor. 00:27:23.200 --> 00:27:25.839 I read something like that at one point. 00:27:26.319 --> 00:27:30.240 Well, so I thought it was alliteration because I thought you said evaluate and then elevate. 00:27:30.640 --> 00:27:32.000 Validate and elevate. 00:27:32.240 --> 00:27:41.119 I like both of those things the validate and um and going back to your initial question, probably about how do you deal with that with teenagers, I think it's asking a lot of questions. 00:27:41.200 --> 00:27:43.519 I think it's evaluating why do you feel that way? 00:27:43.599 --> 00:27:44.640 Why do you think they said that? 00:27:44.799 --> 00:27:46.480 Have you ever said something like that? 00:27:46.720 --> 00:27:47.519 Why did you say it? 00:27:47.599 --> 00:27:49.440 How do you think it made them feeling it? 00:27:49.759 --> 00:28:01.119 And it takes them, I I've heard, and I think this was a this is another psychology therapy thing, is taking yourself out of it and viewing it like you watch an episode of Friends or something. 00:28:01.599 --> 00:28:07.200 Like when I'm thinking of when when Ross is trying to put on the really tight pants or something like that. 00:28:07.599 --> 00:28:09.279 Never seen an episode of Friends. 00:28:11.039 --> 00:28:12.240 I've seen one episode. 00:28:12.400 --> 00:28:15.279 It was with her when we were not even dating yet. 00:28:15.359 --> 00:28:15.519 Yeah. 00:28:16.160 --> 00:28:17.519 I wanted to be around pretty girls. 00:28:17.680 --> 00:28:19.279 So I watched an episode of Friends. 00:28:19.920 --> 00:28:20.799 Got a wife in the deal. 00:28:21.039 --> 00:28:30.400 He is panicking, he's he's trying to avoid embarrassment that is soon to come if he doesn't get out in a reasonable amount of time. 00:28:30.640 --> 00:28:33.839 And so we he's really just being super franc at that point. 00:28:34.000 --> 00:28:36.480 But we laugh at it because it's not our embarrassment. 00:28:36.640 --> 00:28:36.880 Yeah. 00:28:37.039 --> 00:28:37.200