The 5 Layers of Safety: Every Autism Parent Needs to Know

In this moving episode, Mike Carr shares the deeply personal challenges of safeguarding children with profound autism, offering a window into the constant vigilance required to protect those we love most. He recounts a heart-stopping moment when a miscommunication at school led to a child running dangerously close to a busy street—proving that even the most trusted spaces can pose unexpected risks.
At home, Mike has turned his love into action, creating five layers of security to shield his son, from smart locks to cameras, crafting a haven in an often unpredictable world. But he also opens up about how even well-meaning institutions can fall short, recalling a fire drill when school doors were mistakenly left unlocked, exposing vulnerabilities in the system.
Mike’s heartfelt message resonates deeply: safety isn’t just about precautions; it’s about constant vigilance, clear communication, and proactive preparation. "You can never be too safe," he reminds us—a simple but powerful truth for families navigating these challenges. This episode is a comforting, hope-filled reminder that every effort to ensure safety matters—and that love is the driving force behind it all.

Chapters

• 0:00 Introduction: A Perfect Morning
• 1:04 A Close Call: The Danger of Wandering
• 1:58 Miscommunication at School: How It Happened
• 2:54 Multi-Layered Safety at Home
• 3:51 The Importance of Proactive Safety Measures
• 4:56 A Lesson in Accountability: School Safety Lapses
• 5:37 Double-Checking Safety Protocols
• 5:58 Conclusion: The Bottom Line on Safety

Transcript

Mike Carr (00:03):

Welcome back to Autism Labs. This week we're going to talk about multiple layers of safety. So here's the scenario. You get up, the kids all get up at the same time, and they're happy, unbelievable. No screaming, no yelling, no pinching. Your profoundly autistic son, even sort of dresses himself, puts on his favorite red shirt, pants, shoes with just minimal help. Breakfast goes well. You get him all into the car, you get him to school on time, things are going really well. Midmorning, you decide to go to the grocery store and you drive right by your son's school. And so on the way, driving by the school, out of the corner of your eye, you notice a flash of light and maybe a speck of red. And you're thinking, what in the world could that mean? And so you turn and you notice that there's a child running by himself out in front of the school building, and your heart stops.

(01:04):

It's your son, it's your profoundly autistic son by himself running out in front of the school, very close to a busy street with lots of traffic, and he does not understand danger. So you slam on the brakes. You don't care that you may cause a car accident. You have got to save your son's life. Now, this is a true story. It was not our son, it was actually a classmate of his. And the mom was able to turn into the school parking lot without causing an accident. Thank God, getting out of the car, taking her son before he wandered into the street and getting him back into school. And sure enough, when he came into school, she saw our son by himself in the hallway wandering around. He was safe. He wasn't going to get in any trouble, but he was by himself in the hallway.

(01:58):

How could this have happened? Well, the teacher and the teacher's, they miscommunicated and they both thought the other one was going to be watching the kids. And so the kids were left alone for a couple minutes, but there was no lock on the front door. There was no alarm on the front door. And sure enough, one of 'em got out. So why would this ever happen and what should you do in your own home? So in our home, we have a smart lock on the door, the door of our son's area. We have a chain above the smart lock. We have a ring sensor on the very top of the door. So if the door ever opens and closes, we have an audible alarm upstairs where we are so we can hear it. We have an app on our iPhones, since it's a smart lock that will tell us if someone leaves or enters.

(02:54):

And the fifth layers of security or safety is we have a camera in this room where we can also see what's going on. So we have five layers. Now you may think that's excessive, that's ridiculous. And you may think, Hey, my profoundly autistic son or daughter right now goes to a school that I trust without question the teacher and the TA love them just like our teacher and TA 11. But our school has locked doors. It's school policy. Those doors will be locked and it's school policy that there's an alarm on those doors that that will be activated. And if for any reason those doors are ever left unattended, someone will man those doors. So we're covered, right? Here's a scenario. One morning, middle of the week, toilet starts to overflow. In the restroom it's going to flood. Everything Plumbers are called. Plumbers show up.

(03:51):

They run in. Well, they need to get some equipment in to fix the toilet before it just causes an absolute disaster. So you leave the front door unlocked, turn off the alarm to the front door. That's okay. However, on that same day, your son's teacher is sick. So there's a substitute in the classroom with the teacher's assistant. Maybe that's still okay. Unbeknownst to you, a week earlier, a fire drill had been scheduled for that morning. Fire drill goes off, lots of commotion. The substitute teacher, the teacher's assistant, are trying to corral all the kids and move them out the back of the building, which is what the protocol is for the fire drill. In all the commotion, a couple of kiddos are left unattended by themselves in that hallway. And sure enough, because the plumbers are there, front door is open, the alarm is turned off.

(04:56):

So it is possible. Now, you can never be perfect. We understand that mistakes are going to be made. We understand that too. What we have learned and what you probably are aware of too, just let you know, make sure everyone is aware of the situation, right? Make sure that hey, we've got some kiddos that just don't understand danger. If that door's ever left unattended, somebody's got to be there. Even on a day where there's a fire drill and there's a plumbing mess. And if it's nobody else's available, it's the principal of school should be parked out there by the front of that door. That just is sort the bare minimum. And then every now and then we sort of pop in and maybe you pop in too and you just sort look around, Hey, how's everything going? Can I help out? But you're sort checking everything out.

(05:37):

Is everybody happy? Do we have the teacher there, the teacher's assistant in the classroom? And of course, on your way out, you go up to that front door and you make sure it is locked. And you take a look up there in that upper right hand corner, and you look for that red glow, which indicates the fire alarm or the door alarm. The lock is armed and active, so the front door is locked. And if anybody were to open that door, that alarm would sound because you can never be too safe when it comes to the safety of your child. Talk to you again next week. See you.