A Playbook for Nurturing the Athletes of Tomorrow

Promises of glory and accomplishment constantly surround young athletes, but have we ever paused to consider the fundamental values underpinning their journey? Welcome to a compelling conversation on youth athletes' mental health, where we dissect the role of Purpose, Poise, and Passion in shaping their lives and sporting pursuits. In this power-packed episode, I, Shirod Ince, aim to tune your focus towards understanding purpose as the guiding beacon, poise as the weapon to withstand pressure, and passion as the fuel that drives them towards their maximum potential. 

This isn't your typical discourse on theories; we're talking action! Ever wondered how you as a coach or parent can aid in nurturing these values in your young athletes? Together, let's embark on an exercise aimed at defining purpose, maintaining composure, and providing positive reinforcement, all while balancing accountability and fostering confidence. We also discuss strategies to stoke your athletes' passion, allowing room for decision-making, learning from blunders, and the pursuit of excellence over perfection. Tune in for some practical advice, techniques, and real-life examples that would serve as valuable takeaways for anyone involved in nurturing a young athlete. Trust me; it's more than just a game!

Transcript

Youth Athletes' Mental Health

Shirod Ince 0:51

Welcome to Project 3P . My name is Shirod Ince and this is my podcast . With this platform , I'd like to be a resource to all listeners . I'll discuss the impact that mental health has on youth athletes . For those who will appear on my podcast , I'm thrilled to create an open and safe space to discuss how mental health has played a part in your journey . I'll also provide advice on how to manage stress , combat anxiety and find balance in life . So join me and let's start the conversation Today . I'll introduce you to three of my core life values . I like to call them the three P's Purpose , poise and Passion . Life value number one Purpose .

Shirod Ince 1:30

What is purpose ? Purpose is a sense of intention or direction , a goal or aim that is pursued . It is a driving force that gives meaning and direction to a person's actions and goals . Purpose can provide motivation and focus , helping to guide decisions and actions and providing a sense of satisfaction and fulfillment when achieved . What does purpose mean to a coach ? Purpose to a coach means to help their athletes and team members learn and grow along their sports journey . A coach's purpose is to create a safe , positive environment where athletes can strive to reach their potential and perform to the best of their ability . It is a coach's responsibility to teach their athletes not just the skills of their sport , but also the ethics and values of sportsmanship . What does purpose mean to an athlete ? Purpose to an athlete means to have a clear drive and ambition to produce your best performance and become the best athlete you can be . It is about creating a goal and working hard to achieve it every single day . It is about ambition , commitment and dedication .

Shirod Ince 2:38

Despite what the current culture of youth sports has tricked us to believe , youth sports is not about rankings or about championships . The purpose of youth sports is to help children learn important skills and values that can be applied to their lives in and out of competition . Through participation , children can develop physical , social , intellectual and emotional skills and qualities . As such , youth sports can provide a variety of psychological benefits , such as increased self-confidence , improved social skills , improved self-discipline , better problem-solving skills , improved concentration and improved academic performance . It can also provide an environment in which children can learn to work together as a team and develop a sense of community . All of these psychological benefits are related to the purpose of youth sports . They help children develop the skills and qualities they need to be successful in life . They can also motivate kids to live a healthy lifestyle and develop their physical fitness .

Shirod Ince 3:37

As an athlete , it's important that you discover your purpose for yourself . If you are serious about discovering your purpose , I'm going to ask you to do something right now . Go and get a pen and paper or open up your notes . Once you have your pen and paper or your notes open , I want you to ask yourself three things . Number one what do you want ? Number two where do you want to go ? And number three how do you plan to get there ? Once you've answered those questions , I want you to write it down every single day until it becomes a reality . It takes 21 times to do something before a new behavior becomes a habit and 90 days before it becomes a permanent lifestyle change . If you're serious about answering those questions that are in your notes , you need to make sure you're working towards them every single day . As the coach or parent of an athlete who is trying to discover their purpose , here's what you can do to help them . Ask your athlete what they want , what are their goals , what pushes them , and then listen to them . Remember that this is their journey . The best way to help them discover their purpose is to listen to what they want and don't want .

Shirod Ince 4:44

Core life value number two poise . What is poise ? Poise is the ability to stay calm , composed and dignified in any situation . It is a confident , self-assured demeanor that comes from having good self-esteem and self-control . If you know me , you know that poise is one of my most outstanding qualities . Having poise as a coach is valuable because it sets its home for your team . It helps to create a positive atmosphere and sets an example for your players to follow . A coach with poise demonstrates emotional stability , composure and confidence . This can help the team to stay focused and motivated , which can lead to improved performance . Poise also helps to create a trusting relationship between the coach and the players , which is essential for any successful team .

Shirod Ince 5:29

One of the things that I pride myself on the most is positive reinforcement . Positive reinforcement is critical to youth athlete and to their development . If you see your athlete make a mistake , talk to your athlete about what happened , point out why it was a mistake and then provide constructive feedback on how to improve and move forward . Talk about what they can do differently the next time they're in that situation . One of the most critical times in a youth athlete's life is the few seconds after they make a mistake . You see it time and time again they either look over to their coach or their parent . Ultimately , the goal here is for them to remain engaged in competition and avoid looking over at their coach or parent for approval .

Shirod Ince 6:12

Looking at the other side of this interaction , it's important as a coach or parent that you remain calm , have positive body language so that if your athlete does look over , they're not seeing you pout or frown or have negative body language . Some of you may think this doesn't translate to the real world and is creating a false reality through positive reinforcement or that they won't be held accountable if they make a mistake . I'm going to challenge that thought right away and say there's a difference between holding someone accountable and absolutely obliterating their confidence . Not at all . Am I saying it's wrong to be strong or firm or have old school beliefs . However , you can be strong and be firm when it comes to accountability , but it's important that you understand who your athletes are and what they can and cannot handle . Looking back into the conversation of positive body language , if you have poor body language and your athlete makes a mistake , that feeling of discomfort will likely start to snowball and leave them afraid to make a mistake , discourage from your actions and , unmotivated , they stop thinking about acting instinctively and worry more about not disappointing you . Instead , maintain a positive demeanor and provide feedback in a constructive way when the opportunity presents itself .

Shirod Ince 7:30

Having poise as an athlete is also valuable . It helps you manage your emotions and maintain composure during training and competition . This is something that I preach in my huddle time after time not getting too high in your eyes or too low in your lows . This can help you stay focused and perform better , as well as helping you remain calm and composed in the face of adversity . Additionally , having poise is about respect Respect for the game , for your teammates , for your opponents , but , most importantly , respect for yourself . When I think about poise , I think about that clip of Kobe Bryant when he's guarding Matt Barnes as he's inbound in the ball . Matt Barnes flinches the ball at Kobe's face and Kobe doesn't move a muscle . Not because Kobe's tough , but because Kobe has poise . Basketball is not just about being tough , it's about being smart . You hear it time and time again Work smarter , not harder . Opponents may try to be physical or they may even try to talk trash . Having poise in a situation like that is just going to lead to your opponent wasting their energy talking to themselves and looking silly in the process .

Shirod Ince 8:39

Poise is a form of self-control and self-discipline . It is a reflection of your own inner strength and it can be a powerful tool if you use it correctly . It is a sign of self-confidence and it can help you be successful at every level . To those around you who may observe when you deal with a heated moment , having poise could be important and inspiring . They may not know what it's called , but they know how you react it . Here are a few ways for you to practice poise . Techniques such as meditation , deep breathing and body awareness exercises can help you become more tuned to your body and develop the poise elegant demeanor . Someone who practiced poise and recently used a similar technique to help elevate their game was Julius Randall . In past seasons he was viewed as an emotional player who often led his frustrations to get the best of him , and with the power of meditation , he was able to have another all-star season for the New York Knicks . Another way for you to practice poise is to get comfortable being uncomfortable . Spending time being uncomfortable helped you in those moments where you were ultimately shined . Because you've been in that uncomfortable position time and time again , now you're able to thrive under pressure . Another technique for building poise is practicing short-term memory . Celebrate your successes , acknowledge your failures , but never get stuck in the moment . Know that there is a bigger picture you're working towards . Try to make the right play or decision each time .

Shirod Ince 10:06

Core Life Value Number 3 , passion . Passion is a term used to denote strong emotion with respect to a particular person or thing . Passion is love , in this case , love for something you enjoy doing . Passion to a coach means having a competitive fire and asking your team for commitment Commitment to practice , commitment to the sport itself , commitment to the journey and commitment to the goals that you set out to achieve together . Passion to me reminds me a lot of what Joellen Bede called the process . Although it may not happen overnight , you're passionate and you work hard to achieve something . Eventually it will pay off for you . It means having an intense enthusiasm for teaching , learning and developing skills . You have to have a belief in the power of sports to positively shape the lives of those who look up to you . It's a commitment to creating an environment of accountability , collaboration , respect and support that encourages athletes to reach their individual potential , as well as for the team to reach its full potential .

Athlete Passion's Meaning and Support

Shirod Ince 11:13

Passion to an athlete also means commitment . It means being dedicated and sacrificing your time to invest in yourself . It means going the extra mile in training and competition , pushing yourself to your limits and never giving up , even in the face of adversity . Passion to an athlete means loving the sport that they play , respecting the sport by dedicating their time and taking a small victory from everything in between the highs of achieving success to the lows of failure . Knowing that you'll be able to live to fight another day with your team , regardless of if you win the game or not . Understanding that even if you absolutely give everything that you can on the court , things don't always go your way . You fall in love with the process . You fall in love with giving it your all every time you compete . That's what passion is and that is the real victory . Passion is what drives an athlete to reach their goals and become the best they can be as an athlete .

Shirod Ince 12:07

Here are a few ways that you can support your passion . Be honest with yourself . Try what you do well and what you don't do well . Pick one thing to master at a time . Watch film to see things from a different perspective . Learn from your mistakes and celebrate your success If you want to support your passion , you have to take good care of your body .

Shirod Ince 12:29

Think about LeBron James . Not everybody has a million dollars to spend on their body , but he takes good care of his body and he has one of the longest , most successful careers in NBA history . How you can adopt LeBron's million dollar plan to take care of his body and make it your own is by properly dieting , exercising , getting enough sleep every night and repeating that process over and over . If you are a coach or parent who is supporting their athlete's passion , you want to make sure that you offer opportunities for your athlete to work outside of practice by themselves and with a trainer . There are non-profits all over the city . Asphalt Green is one of those non-profits that offer membership time for people to come in and use their facility . If a membership isn't in the cards for you , feel free to find public courts in your local neighborhoods to use . You also want to support your athlete's passion by giving them space to make their own decisions and mistakes . Let them deal with the results , be it as many games as you can . Support goes a long way , and seeing you there is half the battle .

Shirod Ince 13:34

Here are a few things to keep in mind about youth sports . Number one self-esteem . Self-esteem can mistakenly be tied to winning . Yes , we all want to win and nobody wants to lose . However , it's important to teach your athletes the outcome of the competition is not always the most important thing . It's about the effort put in and knowing that when to lose , they gave themselves the best chance they could to be successful . Unfortunately , that effort doesn't always translate to a win . As Jay-Z once said , a loss ain't a loss , it's a lesson .

Shirod Ince 14:06

Number two inappropriate pressure . At the youth level , you'll need to avoid placing inappropriate pressure to perform on your athlete . About one or two percent of high school athletes receive scholarships to any level of college athletics , not middle school , not elementary high school . What I'm trying to say is , when they have the opportunity to play the game they love with their friends and they want to get better , let them , when the time comes and they need to compete and play in front of coaches who want to offer them a spot at the next level , they will . When they get that offer , it will not be because you've been screaming at the top of your lungs for the last couple of years to coach them from the sidelines . It'll be because they learn to play the game the right way . If they love this sport enough and want to get to the next level , there will come a time when they flip the switch naturally and they'll start to push a little harder for what they want to achieve . Until then , support them , love them and watch them grow . The last thing that your athlete needs is multiple voices in their heads . Allow them to make their decisions in real time and learn from their mistakes .

Shirod Ince 15:13

Number three perfectionism . Youth athletes who demonstrate perfectionism , fear of failure , high external and internal pressures and expectations for performance pose a greater risk of burning out and developing mental health concerns such as anxiety , depression , eating concerns and substance misuse . The great Vince Lombardi said perfection is not attainable , but if we chase perfection we can catch excellence . Teach your athletes to be excellent , not to be perfect . Support their growth and their needs and they'll become the best they can be . That concludes today's episode of Project 3P . Thank you for listening . If you enjoyed , please subscribe to catch all future episodes . You can follow the podcast on Instagram @Project 3P . In the coming episodes , I'm excited to introduce you to a few special guests . I'm your host , Shirod Ince , and I'll catch you next time .