69. Beauty From Ashes Story - Finding Hope After Losing Everything with Andrea Hryszczuk

What happens when you lose everything but discover what truly matters? In this deeply moving conversation, Andrea Hryszczuk shares the harrowing yet hope-filled story of watching her family home burn completely to the ground in May 2020.

The fire began unexpectedly in their garage during pandemic lockdown, with the family unaware for crucial minutes as flames engulfed their truck and spread toward the house. Andrea recounts the terrifying moments of uncertainty, not knowing if everyone had escaped safely, followed by overwhelming joy when the family reunited on their front lawn. While firefighters battled the blaze that would ultimately destroy their home entirely, the Hryszczuk's experienced a profound shift in perspective – they were alive, they were together, and nothing else mattered.

What followed was nothing short of extraordinary. Despite losing all identification, credit cards, photographs, and possessions, the family witnessed God's provision in remarkable ways. A neighbor offered their vacant house before they even needed to ask. Envelopes of cash miraculously survived the inferno when their fireproof safe did not. Small treasures emerged from the ashes that felt like personal messages – a singed paper reading "To God be the glory" and a necklace with the words "Where your treasure is, your heart will be also."

Andrea reveals the intentional strategies she and her husband employed to guide their family through trauma – what she calls "good defense and good offense." They refused to let their minds dwell on devastating what-ifs, instead taking those thoughts captive and deliberately practicing gratitude at every turn. When painful losses surfaced, they attached new, hope-filled meanings: "We're alive to make new memories" became their response to losing irreplaceable family photos.

Five years later, having rebuilt on the same property, Andrea's definition of home has been forever transformed. "Home is just where my family is. It's not a building anymore," she explains. The experience deepened her longing for her eternal home while strengthening her conviction that God remains sovereign and good regardless of circumstances.

Whether you're navigating your own tragedy or simply seeking perspective on what truly matters, this conversation will challenge your thinking about possessions, faith, and finding beauty in life's most devastating moments. As Andrea reminds us, "He brings beauty always through the ashes – sometimes in the physical realm, but always in the spiritual realm."

Episode 10 - Preserving Precious Memories 

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Transcript

Introduction to A Heart that Beats for Home

Speaker 1 0:02

Hey friends, I'm Nikki Smith, your host here at A Heart that Beats for Home, the podcast where we're ditching filters and diving headfirst into the raw beauty of all things home. Now, I am no expert when it comes to this whole parenting and marriage dance. I'm simply a gal who's been riding the mom roller coaster for 22 years and a wife still untangling the mystery of it all 25 years after saying I do. My goal is to bring you unapologetically messy and boldly genuine conversations about cultivating strong families. We're gonna laugh, possibly cry, and straight talk about the joy and chaos that comes within the four walls that we call home. No judgment and certainly no perfection, just real talk from my heart, a heart that beats for home. Let's dive in. Hello friends, welcome back to another week here at A Heart that Beats For Home. We're so glad to have you with us for yet another Thursday, and today we're coming at you with another of our episodes out of the Beauty from Ashes series. I know we've done four or five of these already this year Always such encouraging stories, just to hear from personal perspective how people have walked through trial and how they have been able to come out of that on the other side and just see God's hand all over it and just the way that he grows us through the fire, in this case, actually growing my dear friend through the fire.

Speaker 1 1:27

You guys, I'm excited today to have a friend, andrea Hershcheck, with us. She is a close acquaintance of mine. We run in many of the same circles and have been able to watch her do life pretty close up and just love her for who she is as a human, for who she is as a child of God, a wife. She's been married for 30 years to her husband. She's the proud mom of four adult children branching out into their own lives, two boys, two girls. She has two of the four married, so she's also navigating this role of mother-in-law, just became a grandma for the first time. She is just a lover of all the people in all the different stages of her life, from parents all the way down to grandchildren. And so just excited to talk with Andrea.

Speaker 1 2:13

I am also so thrilled that Sweet Andrea is a mentor to a lot of people the Bible talks about in Titus the women who have walked through life that get to mentor and bring other women alongside them. One of my adult children actually last night was the first night in a small group that is meeting with Andrea and her husband, steve. And as a mom, andrea, I have to say I am so grateful to know that once a week my girl gets to go sit in your living room under the mentorship and the wisdom of you and Steve, and I'm just so grateful for the way that you've taken all that God has done in your life and you're pouring that into so many other young people at such a pivotal time in their life. Thank you for that. So, andrea, if you would just kind of just tell our listeners a little bit about yourself, the stage of life that you're in, and then we'll kind of jump right into your story.

Speaker 2 3:01

Yeah, thank you, nikki. Thanks for allowing me to come on and spend this time with you, and hopefully the lessons that God has shown me through this will be a benefit to somebody else. He's so, so good. So, yeah, my husband, steve, and I, we have been kind of in this revolving door stage of college kids coming in and out. My first child went away to college about eight years ago. I've had two daughters get married, so I have two son-in-laws, so our family is growing. It's a really sweet time of just adding to our family and spending time together, building memories together. We're just very thankful for that. We're thankful for this family that God's given us and grown us in. We were kind of on our way to emptiness, but they seem to keep coming back. My oldest daughter will be returning with the baby next week and her husband and they'll be living in our basement while they get a house fixed up. So always seems like somebody is living here. We're very thankful for that.

Speaker 2 3:59

Yeah, just a lot of mix of life. Right now, like you said, I'm taking care of grandbabies I flew out to Denver five times this summer when he was born, for various reasons and then also taking care of my mom and mother-in-law which are going through health issues At this stage of life. I didn't think much about it, but I realized how much that is involved at this stage when our kids are already raised. So it does take time, but it's a very just a privilege to be able to spend this precious time with it Especially my mom real directly. It's just a sweet, sweet time. So, yeah, that's kind of where we're at. I'm not working anymore, not teaching anymore, just focusing on kind of the honing in a little, going a little deeper with the people that are in my life.

Speaker 1 4:42

I love that. It is kind of like I was explaining it to somebody recently, kind of like the Oreo cookie stage of life. I feel like you've got on both sides right. You're kind of in the middle and you've got the brand new the babies, your own children launching and then really being involved with your parents and trying to balance that and navigate that and, like you said, being so grateful for the time that now God has allowed us a little bit more space in our schedules to be able to pour into those people that we love so much. So, andrea, talk to us a little bit.

Speaker 1 5:14

Today we're talking about beauty from ashes and we've heard in this series from moms who have lost children. We've heard from cancer survival stories, just hardships that come into our life and, as believers, being able to process and wrestle through that and kind of learn what God is teaching us in those stages, instead of just having it be just marked as this horrible time in our life, like really knowing that good can come from that. Will you tell our listeners just a little bit about the specific event that we're talking about today in your family's life?

Speaker 2 5:51

Five years ago, may 4th 2020, it was just a normal day, normal early pandemic day. We're all hunkering down at home. It was kind of unique in a way that day because it was a very full house. My daughter, anna, was home from Colorado, my married daughter she was visiting my husband was on call, so he was home, and then my good friend's daughter living with us from New Zealand, and then Kate was home, my other daughter, my other son, sam, and Luke was on his way home, so it was a very full house middle of the day. So it was a very full house middle of the day.

Speaker 2 6:25

Midday we started noticing some things. We did not know, but for about 15 minutes or so our garage was on fire. It started on fire by our truck, which spontaneously burst into flames is what we're assuming from retracing what happened and that spread closer to the house. And the first person that saw anything that was going on was my son, luke, who was coming back from picking up his graduation gown, drove up the driveway and saw the garage, the truck completely ablaze and the car next to it half engulfed in flames. So he just drove straight back down the driveway and then started running to the house At that same time that he's witnessing that. We're seeing from other vantage points of the house the smoke. My husband, who looked at, was in the front of our house and saw black, eerie smoke go in front of the window. It was definitely a different smell than burning leaves. Everyone burns leaves in our neighborhood. It was definitely a different smell than burning leaves. Everyone burns leaves in our neighborhood. It was not that. So he ran out towards the garage and he saw the blazes, the fire.

Speaker 2 7:33

And then I was on the phone with a friend and my daughter, anna, mentioned my mom. There's fire coming out from underneath the door that led into the garage, or not? Fire smoke. And just the last time I had seen Sam he was just in the garage, maybe like 20, 30 minutes ago, and I just couldn't imagine what was behind it. It was an inferno behind that door, but I had no, we had no idea. So probably I mean this wasn't probably the safest fire maneuver, but we opened the door and usually people would say in the past, like the handle should have been so hot you shouldn't have been able to touch it, because with what was behind it there usually is a backdraft and there was. There was a backdraft that came through the door and miraculously I know this for sure protected my daughter and I, because it blew out all the windows that were directly across from us in the room. We had no idea what was behind the door until then, so we all just went into action.

Speaker 2 8:32

One thing that I just had never thought of, and it surprised me so much, is how loud what every single fire alarm goes off in your house. At the same time. It is ear piercing and you can't communicate. This is something just thinking about fires in a house. I just never thought about that, but you can't communicate. Even in the daytime it's really hard to communicate.

Speaker 2 8:52

We had a big open concept house so we could kind of see each other. We saw most everybody in the room except for my son, sam, at this point, and my thought was he's in the, he must, maybe he's in the garage. Like in the garage I went and grabbed a fire extinguisher from under the kitchen. I was just desperate, I didn't know what was going on and tried to like get near the fire, but the flames were so hot and terrible I couldn't even get anywhere near it. It was coming in the house. So my husband came into the other room and just said where's Sam, where's Sam? And all of a sudden we don't know. So he ran downstairs to try to find Sam and at that point it was so hard because I just did not know if I'd see my husband or my son again. My husband gets pretty determined on things, so I know he would keep looking for him, and that was scary.

Speaker 2 9:42

I don't know how much time passed, but it wasn't really long, I would say like a minute or two, when we just didn't know everyone was starting to get out of the house.

Speaker 2 9:52

But then we heard from the yard just the best words ever out of Kate's mouth Sam's outside. So my husband and I we exited through different doors and we all just huddled in the ground together and just cried tears of joy. We were the happiest people that day. I have never felt joy like that when you think you've lost a family member or two. And then it wasn't the case. We were spared, by the grace of God. We were spared and so we were. I think the firefighters probably were like really confused because we were just so happy, we were just so, so happy on the on the lawn and we had probably about a hundred people come around us that day Again, height of COVID people. Up to this point we're pretty much sheltering and everyone came out and just loved on us, which was so, so wonderful because that was traumatic to see it burn, but we were so happy. So our first kind of major emotion was pure happiness after we found out that we were all safe.

Speaker 1 10:58

Well, nothing puts into perspective materialistic stuff and how quickly that so immediately you're brought to it doesn't matter what's in there like, because the house did burn completely to the ground, correct, yes, yes.

Speaker 2 11:13

It burned so completely like the foundation was ruined. There was only one wall that was left with the foundation and the when the firefighters got there. We live a little bit out of the country, so we had 13 kind of rural fire departments respond and they had to fill up a pool down in our cul-de-sac to get out. There was no attempt to save the house per se, it was just to contain the fire. The neighbor's roofs were already starting little fires in their mulch and on their roof, so they were trying to get it out and so it just was contained.

Speaker 2 11:48

It was very violent. It was a very violent Wow yeah, very violent fire. That would have had a completely different outcome if it would have been at night. So we're so, so thankful that it was during the day. God protected us because the bedrooms were right above the garage, many of them so, and again it burned so much before we had any notice of it. You know you usually think of a fire just a little candle turning, you know falling over and you can get it early, or it just spreads slowly from room to room. But this was just instant and it took the whole house down probably within 20 minutes after it came into the house it was really short by 10, we're all off to the side talking to the neighbors. It just was gone. We looked back and it was gone. It was a very windy day too, which I think made everything go a little bit faster.

First Hours and Days After

Speaker 1 12:43

Wow. So you're outside with your family and you're feeling this obviously the joy of my people like everything is okay. We know that we can rebuild houses, we can take care of the details when you know your family's okay. What what do you remember then, andrea? I'm sure there's, there's the joy, but there's also there has to be a state of shock and trying, as the parents, to pull stuff together because you have nothing. You have nothing. What did that look like those next couple of hours? What stands out to you that you remember?

Speaker 2 13:16

Yeah, well, as our house is burning down, this is where God has just gone before us. Before this day, but also just through all these events, he had planned all of this. And so while the house is burning down you know, we're just so happy we get a call from our neighbors. They had a house for sale about five minutes away and they just said you know, you can stay in our house, go shelter there, it's half furnished, take your dogs, we'll send over a key code and just to go and use our house. So, shelter there, it's half furnished, take your dogs, we'll send over a key code and just to go and use our house. So before we even had a time to think about, like, where are we going to put seven people and two big dogs, it was already already taken care of for us. So just a lot of Thanksgiving in that, and we knew we had a place to go at night, just all that support on the lawn, just a lot of great, you know, a lot of thankfulness, a lot of joy.

Speaker 2 14:08

And then we, the fires out and things settled down and we, yeah, we drove over to the house and that's when, I think, the shock kind of hit. It started to settle, just settle in a little bit. You know, we just realized, wow, I'm. Everything is gone, like, except for our Jeep. My son had our Jeep that day. So that meant, like you know, all our identification, like all of who on paper who we were, most of our phones, computers, credit cards, necessary medications, like just everything. And even the girl that was staying with us, ashley. Everything she owned she had brought over from New Zealand, including, you know, passport. It was just like everything was gone. So that started to hit, you know. So we'd vacillate between it was surreal Like here we are, this empty house on the kitchen floor, but we're alive and we're together. And so we go back and forth, like the kids were, you know, wanting to stay together that night, and they did. Thankfully, the basement, the couches and beds had an escape window. That was the first thing they looked for when they went down. There wasn't an egress window and so, yeah, the shock was starting to hit in, but then we were just so exhausted to hit in. And then, but then we were just so exhausted, so we're going to bed with our smoky clothes and went to bed and then, you know, woke up. And then, when you wake up in the morning after that, it's like you're in a dream, like where am I and what are we doing? And then just God just poured it on for us, just in so many ways that he's like he's already been doing so we.

Speaker 2 15:47

I woke up the next day and it was headed to the shower. And while I was going to the shower, the doorbell rang and me from church, ted dropped off a breast of breakfast and then a small cosmetic bag and in it there was moisturizer, mascara and lipstick. And what was so sweet about that was even my color that I wore of lipstick. And so, even before I realized that I had no mascara for the day, god already had provided like would have gotten out of the shower and be like, oh, I don't even have mascara which is a foundation of life, I think. And but everything was there. The three main things I use every day were there before I even needed them. Once again, always, just, he was always ahead of what we needed, like we were. So, yeah, we were he. Just he knew we needed it. We just needed all these little things.

Speaker 2 16:40

And then our family and friends and church just went into action. My friend Christine brought over dog food. All these little things that you realize your dogs have to eat, right, leashes bowls. And she brought over a coffee maker. That's just comforting, right? You just have a coffee maker. The house that we stayed in had two electric dog collars that fit our dogs perfectly. All these little things. God kept amazing us with every turn, all these little details.

Speaker 2 17:05

Our friends, dave and Heidi, took Ashley into their home because everything she owned was also lost, and so they took care of her. Crystal was by my side every single morning. She arrived as soon as she could and she stayed by me and helped me kind of triage all the decisions you have to make to rebuild your and during a pandemic, which was a, had added extra difficulty. And then I was like this is a crazy day. This is when it really started setting in. I think to where our emotions started coming out.

Speaker 2 17:37

We had managed to get to Target it was one of the few stores that were open at the time and then I found two of the girls in an aisle just weeping two of my girls. And then I found my husband. He was kind of getting yelled at by an employee for not wearing a mask, as he's doling out wet smoky cash to all the kids to buy what they needed and I'll talk about the wet smoky cash later. That's a really cool story to how God provided that, but it was just so surreal in Target and my husband was very solid, he's just a rock for our family and he kind of provided some comic relief. There's a lot of comic relief in a lot of different ways, but I remember him saying I can't do this wearing another man's underwear. Point me to the underwear. He doesn't go shopping because he didn't know where the underwear was in the store and I think that's all he bought that day because he was always kind of focused on our needs first.

Speaker 1 18:32

He's thinking I can wear anybody's pants and their shirts.

Speaker 2 18:35

If I have my own underwear.

Speaker 1 18:37

I'm good to go.

Speaker 2 18:38

I can do anything with my own underwear. Yeah, he was always kind of like rocked through it all and non-emotional, but at that day that was that was. It was kind of hit him a little bit too, just the heaviness of just you're rebuying every single item of your life. So yeah, that was some of the early days and some of the early emotions, but definitely we hit all the ranges of all of the emotions.

Speaker 1 19:07

Sure, and you know it's interesting because there's a theme in a handful of podcasts that I've recorded recently. It's interesting how God kind of does that, like sometimes we need to hear things over and over and in a in a state of shock.

Speaker 1 19:21

Ted, that you mentioned is actually my brother-in-law and I remember the morning of the fire, my sister being like what products do we have? And just, she knew right that that was a tangible way that she could step into your world and provide something. And the theme that keeps coming up is these stories of people who have been through trials and tragedy. And they talk about the people that walked that, just that walked in. And I think so often we feel like we have to be invited in, we feel like we have to be called on to say, hey, this is you know, they need the meal train, which those are all great things, but just this, if God is putting something on, your heart that there has been a tragedy, whether it's your best friend, it's easy to walk into it.

Speaker 1 20:07

When it's your best friend or it's your family, but when it's an acquaintance or it's somebody that maybe your kids go to school with, we kind of at least I feel like I observe that we tend to stand back and kind of, should I, should I not? Is it intruding? And when people are in crisis, if God lays something on your heart, just do it. Just do it. Put it on the front porch, drop it off, give it to the best friend to go deliver, send the gift card, buy the thing whatever it is.

Speaker 1 20:36

And I just hear those stories that you're telling over and over. Even just the presence sometime of the best friend, that just was a consistent force of just walking into your life in the morning, giving you what you needed just to do the next best thing for your family, and just how support you know, support staff, if you will when you come around somebody in crisis is just such a gift that I think we don't give ourselves enough permission just to do so. I just, I love, I love those stories. So, as you're, you know you've got your kids in this situation, are older, so your kids are in high school and older, how do you start to have so? You say the girls are in the aisle crying and how are you able, as parents, to walk your children through such crisis and just kind of help them navigate what that looks like?

Parenting Through Crisis

Speaker 2 21:29

Yeah, the girls were different than boys, but we had to pretty much just lead by our example. I know a couple of the girls and I can't remember if it was both or one of them was starting to have bad dreams and nightmares and there was a lot of fear, more expressed verbally through the girls than the boys. But obviously they're going to be having stuff too. But the boys you're kind of wondering what are you thinking about? What's going on? The girls you kind of know, they just say but it was starting to in the first couple of days. I think there were two nights in a row where they had really bad dreams. And so this is kind of the mode we went into, and the best I can describe it is like good offense, good defense. And so what I mean by that, like just how are we going to not ride this roller coaster to where it leads us really down, really low? So we want to just, you know, take every thought captive. So what we did, we just had like two main things. This is what, you know, steve and I were modeling to them during this time and doing for ourselves good defense and good offense. So that, like for good defense, god was teaching me not to dwell on what happened in that house and not to let myself think about it for even a minute. The pictures, the images, the sounds, my thoughts. I just couldn't go there. And that was the defense. I had to take those thoughts captive and make it like a no-go zone. I can't go there. I think the girls, what they might have been tending to do at night is think, rethink about it, what if? And that what if? Just creates more pathways in our brain. The more we think about something, the more those thoughts captive. And not letting the events of the day that particular day dwell on at all or even just think about a little bit, like I just had to model that and just not go there. And so that was kind of the good defense, so that's just kind of protecting our brains from those thoughts. And then also the good offense that we had to go on.

Speaker 2 23:50

And this was just like all the stuff we were doing and replacing that, instead of going to those what ifs, it was just giving thanks for everything. We were just verbally giving thanks all the time out loud, and then also, like this, putting new meaning to the facts that happened. And I'll give you a couple examples, you know. For example, it was a fact we lost we're a little bit older, so we don't have digital prints of our girls and we lost all of our pictures and that means so much to us, all those kind of special pictures, but the new meaning I had attached to them.

Speaker 2 24:22

We have a choice to attach what meaning we want to facts and events that happened in our life, and I chose real early on, when I think about, or if it gets brought up, I'm trying not to think about it on defense, but when it does get brought up to just be thankful that we're alive to make new memories together. So that was my default thinking. As soon as I would think that would come to mind, I wouldn't dwell on it, but when I did, because of situations that happened, I would just be like, okay, we're alive, we can make new memories. So I just was replacing that negative thought with that fact with a new meaning. Another one was we my husband wrote journals to all of our kids since they were babies and just wrote so many sweet words to them. Really, that's a hard thing to lose and so I wanted to attach a new meaning from that to that. So the meaning I attached to that was just thankful that we're all alive and we can tell each other today with words how much we love and care for each other. So we have our words still and we're alive. And so just focusing back to that thankfulness and not letting my mind go there and then also when it does go there, to replace it and put a meaning to it that is more true and more helpful. And also praise was huge during this time.

Speaker 2 25:42

We even did a worship service at our property during that time. Our pastor came out and worship leader because I just didn't want any. I mean we might rebuild back there. I didn't know what we were going to do at the time, just any. I wanted all the focus we just wanted to lead in that to be on thankfulness that God protected us, he kept us safe, just His faithfulness. I remember we sang a song and some of the lyrics are I will look back and see that you were faithful. I'll look ahead and know that you are able, and just you know, trust him with those words. But just really trying to do things very intentionally to attach good meaning and thankfulness and truth to the events that happened.

Speaker 2 26:28

And, ironically, just a little mini lesson that we learned is all the things that we had given away actually came back to us. My computer, old computer which had a lot of baby pictures on it a friend of mine's son was using for Zoom classes, so that was at their house so that because it was out of our home, we gave it away temporarily. It came back to us. All the pictures that we would send grandmas and aunts and uncles on their birthdays or when they would get their big portraits taken. They all came back to us.

Speaker 2 26:58

People gave us pictures Stacy, my kid's first grade teacher. She's collected so many pictures from when they were in first grade and their writings, like little things that they wrote. I said, oh, she took pictures of them, she's amazing, and just little things like that. It's like all the stuff that we gave away would come back to us. I gave someone a book and then they're bringing that book back to me and it was like the book I needed that day. There was so many things like that, but that was just kind of a little ironic thing that you learned Whatever we gave away.

Speaker 1 27:26

Actually, came back. Wow, so many lessons in that, andrea. And when you go back to that good defense and good offense, even today, in the wake of where we are as a country and navigating with our kids, things that they're seeing, and man, just so much of the conversations that we've had to be kind of filtering and navigating with kids that are seeing stuff that social media has made so in our face. Somebody said we weren't prepared as parents or as teens and young adults to be scrolling on a phone and see a recipe, a recipe, a meme, a death, and then a recipe and a meme, right, and just the things that our children are seeing. And it's so hard not to put yourself in that situation. It's so hard not to start thinking what if I was there, what if this, what if that, and so, even living in it, how much more extreme it had to be for your kids. But I hope that, listeners, I hope you just take a minute as parents and I, and two things really. Well, there's so many things that stand out, but two specifically for me as parents that Andrea pointed out. Number one is that she said me and Steve, we're going to model. We can't expect our children to respond to something in a way that we ourselves aren't responding to. And so I think that is just such a good calling to all of us as parents, an action call that if there's things in our kids even that we're trying to discipline or that we're not liking like, what am I modeling as a parent? Am I doing the thing that I'm asking them to do?

Speaker 1 29:01

And then just that good defense the no-go zone. The no-go zone. And I think each of us in our own lives, each of our children, we have things that Satan knows. That's their weak spot, that's their sensitive place. If I can get in there and I can start to get roots in the brain and the thoughts of creating doubt and fear and lies and just really living on that no-go zone, we're not going there and just turning it into gratitude.

Speaker 1 29:31

So amazing and then I love what you said is everything that we gave we got back. What a beautiful live example of just the biblical concept of just giving generously of what we have, never even knowing that the blessing for us is going to be so much greater than it was for the person we gave it to. So goodness, andrea, I love so much of what you just shared there. So good for your situation. But in every single situation that we come into where there's hardship in life, to go like a little into some specific stories, I know you and I recently sat and you shared just some stories where where God just was almost like tapping you on the shoulder to say, see, I do care, like look at this little detail. And you've already shared some of those. But I know you mentioned the wet money. I know there's a few other. What? What are some of those stories?

Speaker 2 30:23

Yeah, I'll go through each kid specifically because it's real easy to see the personalness of God through the specific stories, but just generally, real quick, I just want to say as a family we were so loved and cared for. We had meals for I think almost three months from our church. We had people put pictures in picture frames which is so special and bring those over Blankets every basic need we could have ever imagined. We even had a stranger. A lot of strangers even gave us gift cards and stuff like that. We had a single mom write a note and stick it in her mailbox. She had an emergency fund of like $343 that she had never used before and she's like I think you need this more than I do, and so she just dropped money and envelope in our mailbox which was still standing, and she just dropped it off in faith and just wanted to bless us. So like from the people that are family and friends and church people that we knew so well to strangers. It was just an outpouring of love on our family as a unit. God was just so, so gracious through all of that. But I could go on and on about all that he did in that kind of way of providing. But there's a lot of like these. I call them only God moments and I feel like each one, each person in our family, had one of these experiences that show them only God could do that and that's just the faith building. And that is what ultimately, you know, what was so special and so I'm so thankful for, is that my kids got to see that.

God's Personal Touches

Speaker 2 31:54

I'll start with my daughter, anna, who's married that was home visiting. She found a piece of paper that was so, again, going back to the site, there was nothing but ashes. You couldn't tell if there was a kitchen where a kitchen was, or a bedroom nothing. There was a far closet at the end, on the other side of the house. Part of the closet still looked like maybe it was a closet. And then my husband's office was far from the garage and there was one of his seven or eight bookcases that, before they doused the fire out, they said do you want to get anything out of here? And it was completely destroyed. But my daughter found a piece of paper that must have been in like a big book, because the words were rather big. It said to God be the glory. And it was completely burned all the way around, all of those words, so it's probably about the size of, you know, two inch by two inch piece of paper that just said to God be the glory. It was singed all the way around, just a reminder that God was like I'm in complete control. I decide the dividing lines, I decide how far this is going to go, and it was just so, so sweet and to be those words. It was just such a huge comfort to us as a family and for my daughter, anna, because she found it. My daughter, kate, found a necklace where her room would have been and the necklace was a verse from Matthew. It said where your treasure is, your heart will be also, and this I know treasure is, your heart will be also. And this I know, this personalness meant so much to her and it was even crazier. She never remembered seeing the necklace before. So we don't know where the necklace came from. So it was on a little twig and again, everything is ash, complete ash, except somehow that was left for her.

Speaker 2 33:45

My son, sam, had just finished making an acoustic guitar. All of COVID and our neighbor Luke this is kind of something special, for Sam started a GoFundMe page. I was able to raise some money for a new guitar in one day. So that was really special for that little guy. And then Luke, his bass fishing teacher, collected a complete collection of lures and rods for him and that was really sweet. Plus, he got lots of basketballs and all things that were important to him. People just remembered that and were very specific in the giving to him, which I think meant a lot to him.

Speaker 2 34:17

My husband had two things. Two things were so unique. He had cash miraculously saved in this horrific fire and we needed this because all of our credit cards and identification were gone. So one of his stashes was in that cabinet that the firefighters said that was salvageable, or you could at least look in it see if there's anything that maybe you could probably not thinking about anything paper wise, but there was. He probably saved all his Christmas money from when he was like 16 and all his birthday money. I'd spend it. He saved it and this was safe. This is an envelope of thousands of dollars cash. That was the smoky, wet money that we lived on for many, many days and weeks. That and the gift cards. Just, you know, money burns, you know.

Speaker 2 35:04

And there's, the excavator found a clump of metal which was formerly a gun case and he had stored a plastic envelope in the bottom of the gun case and had cash in it. And I mean it was a heap. All the guns had one big metal heap and underneath that heap we pulled apart a piece off and there was a plastic little envelope that had, I think, of the $1,200 cash, 1,100 were still redeemable, which it just doesn't make any sense. Our fireproof safe was gone but we had cash in the house that wasn't touched. And it's not so much about the cash, it's about like cash burns, paper burns, but that did not burn. Provision yeah, it's about the provision.

Speaker 2 35:45

And then for me God was so gracious there was one special bin untouched in that room that was farthest from the garage. I had a lot of Goodwill coats in and just different clothes that the kids had outgrown and I would say most of the clothes were at least three-fourths burned and they were sopping, wet and burned. But there was a bin in the corner and I called it my grandma bin and it should have been with all the other books in my house, but for some reason it was in the Goodwill closet and it was my grandma bin and it was clear plastic. The clear plastic was not touched and neither was a book but the black. The top of it was totally black and charred. There was a book facing outside. The front of it was facing outside of the plastic that read Because I Love you. It was a book by Max Lucado and I just saw this bin that should have burned it's plastic. It should have burned.

Speaker 2 36:36

And then there's this book and it just represented to me God was just saying your future. Yeah, you've lost a lot, but your future is still ahead. It represented the grandbabies, because it was for my grandkids, and I was just so, so thankful, just the sovereignty that he showed us through those specific things, his care and his sovereignty, personal care. There were so many other things he did too, but those were just some specific personal ways. Our fish survived in the back pond, just little things like that. We experienced his presence and it grew everyone's faith and we just rejoiced in that and we're just so thankful for that like that. He would be so gracious to meet us in those, in those ways that we really needed, because it is a quite a. You know we're going through it.

Speaker 2 37:26

Steve and I are trying to process it, but we've got young kids that are. Some have gone through some hard things by this point in life, but some haven't much, and so they're going through all this for the first time, trying to process pain and why and all those kinds of things. They also had their dear grandpa die a few months later very suddenly, and so there was just a lot of back to back. Plus it was a pandemic. Schools are being canceled all this crazy normal stuff people went through Just trying to help them process that.

Speaker 2 37:55

But that was one of my big things I learned in parenting Just another layer of trusting God with their hearts.

Speaker 2 38:06

I wanted to buffer, I wanted to make it less painful for them, and then God reminded me that that's where he's grown me the most is in the trials, and he's going to do the same for them.

Home Redefined and Spiritual Growth

Speaker 2 38:18

I remember hearing a quote, like on the radio, of just not getting in the way of what don't get in the way of what God's doing in the life of your child way of what don't get in the way of what God's doing in the life of your child, and so just surrendering them to him through this and knowing that their faith they're going to work at this, but God is faithful and he's going to show himself in very specific ways and ways that they need during this time. And all of them through the hard, they all will say now it was a huge part of their growth, and asking the hard questions and having the long discussions as a family and learning how to control their minds and taking every thought captive, it just provided a lot of opportunity for learning and growth in our family. We're all together and God was very gracious to teach us all of these things.

Speaker 1 39:08

I feel like even in that there's a whole nother podcast, letting our children have to struggle through some of the hard stuff, because we do. A natural instinct as a parent I think sometimes more moms even than dads is to just save them. I'll take it on for them so they don't have to. And you're right, we are stealing opportunities that God is going to be using to hone and refine them, and I think that's a powerful thing there. So fast forward. You do end up rebuilding in the same spot. You rebuild your home. How would you say now? How has what home means to you different than it was six years ago before the fire?

Speaker 2 39:50

Yeah, home is just where my family is. It's not a building anymore, it's just purely on the side of heaven. It's just where my family is. And also it's made me long for my eternal home, which is an imperishable treasure and that word imperishable means a lot more to me and so it was just another deepening of a longing in my heart for my real home, my eternal home, as I'm a believer in Jesus and I know that's what he's provided and promised for all of us that are you realize that it has nothing to do.

Speaker 1 40:25

I just told the same thing to somebody after not all being together this summer. You realize that it has nothing to do. I just told the same thing to somebody after not all being together this summer. It's like it's not about a building, it's about you feel at rest, at peace, when you know your people are with you, and that's just the whole navigation, stage two of this adult parenting, of just even wrestling with how that changes and how we just have to keep evolving in that. And I feel like one of the follow-up questions. To kind of wrap up, I was going to ask you I feel like you've already answered it in so many ways, andrea, but I'm going to ask it anyways because maybe there's something else that you've thought of or that's specific and not just to a fire, but this whole series that we're doing, like one episode a month on the podcast of this beauty to ashes.

Speaker 1 41:10

It's all kinds of different devastation and every listener is walking or has walked or is going to walk through their own fire, if you will. It might not be an actual house fire, it could be illness, it could be a death of a parent or a child or a spouse or a disease. I mean, there's so many different things. It could be illness. It could be a death of a parent or a child, or a spouse or a disease. I mean, there's so many different things. It could be a marriage that's falling apart. What would you say to a listener that's walking through a battle? If you can talk back to yourself, what would you say to yourself coming into this season of your life?

Speaker 2 41:45

Yeah Well, I mean just relying on God's word first and foremost. I mean it's just the foundation of everything. You know, I know by faith, by his word, that he's close to the brokenhearted. Psalm 34, 18 tells us that. And whether we're brokenhearted over our sin or brokenhearted because of our suffering, he is always near. Depending on whether we feel it or not, he's always near and he's waiting with open arms at all times, no matter what, no matter what sin, no matter what suffering, always open arms. And then James says draw near to God and he'll draw near to you. So I think that is just what. That's what got me through it. That's what got me through it, that's what got me through.

Speaker 2 42:28

There has been some harder trials than that, and but what has got me through is just, you know what does draw near to him mean Right? So for me it was drastically reducing social media, the defense, not letting that in stuff that just wasn't, isn't honoring and helpful, into my brain and my life, saturating my mind with a word through Bible reading, memorizing scriptures, prayer walks and praise, and I would say praise. Praising him in the trials, in the middle of them, in ones worse than this, has been the most spiritually significant thing that I have ever experienced. My daughter made me a painting after the fire from and then she wrote some words at the bottom. It was from Habakkuk 3, 17 and 18. And it says, though the fig tree should not blossom, nor fruit be on the vines, the produce of the olive fail and the fields yield no food, the flock be cut off from the fold and there be no herds in the stalls. Yet I will rejoice in the Lord. I will take joy in the God of my salvation.

Speaker 2 43:34

So just draw near to God, because he's waiting with open arms, no matter what, no matter what sin, no matter what suffering. He's waiting. Just like we want our kids to come to us, no matter what they do, god's wanting that at all times. And if we draw near to him, he promises to draw near to us, and so I've experienced just such a level of closeness through the hard. He's so gracious and good in it. And the second thing just encourage people just to plug in and get in community, church life, groups, bible studies, because there's no way of making sense of anything apart from God, and people can help us do that. When we get messed up in our own thinking, people can help clarify and get us back on track, especially people that are grounded in the Word and that love us a lot and can speak sometimes hard things to us and also comforting things to us at the right time, those little things just drawing near to Him and drawing near to other believers and community.

Speaker 1 44:36

Yeah, so powerful, and those are the things that matter. Everything in our life is constantly changing and is never the same, but the only thing that is constant through every stage of life is Jesus and the promises that he's given us in His Word. So I love that so much. Andrea, I'm going to ask you. It feels a little bit of a weird pivot, but I think it's a good thing just to talk about specifically with moms real quick, just from a practical standpoint.

Speaker 1 45:03

You're saying so many things throughout the interview that you're like ah, I never would have thought of that. I never would have thought of that. Are there just practical tips or suggestions that you would give to moms and dads and things that if you could go back which we know you can't, but maybe some of the things that you think of will benefit others? Taking pictures of all of your important documents, having a fire plan, because you yourself said if this was in the middle of the night? Are there things that you would say to parents like, hey, take an hour, take a day and do these things, because should you ever walk into a trial like this, this would have been a huge help for us.

Speaker 2 45:42

Yeah for sure, pay your home insurance premiums. Make sure those are always auto-paid. I know some people when your house is paid off, your homeowner's baby, you don't follow up on that. I remember I asked Steve pretty soon on that lawn. I'm like you did pay up the premium, right? I'm like, yeah, but I paid the premium Because that released the financial burden of rebuilding our lives as far as a fire goes.

Practical Fire Safety Advice

Speaker 2 46:06

I just get a plan and I've talked to students before one time at school and I just said you have to get out whatever way you can to have that plan ahead of time. I'm going to. If I'm in a second floor, there's a, there's a ladder there and I'm going to get out or I will jump. I will not go look for somebody. That is the key thing. Like in the middle of the night, like not to go look for somebody, you know in the middle of the day, when you have time and all of that. But if everybody commits to getting out, then everyone will be out, you know. So when you've got old enough kids for that younger, younger age kids, which wasn't my case I think there's other advice and probably other wisdom that somebody else could give on that.

Speaker 2 46:48

But kids that could all get themselves out, even if they had to jump out of a two-story window. Just get out. Don't go look for the dogs, don't go look for anybody else, because if we all take responsibility we will all be safe, because we can all get to a window. We don't stay in homes. If we're in a basement, we usually like an egress window. Two of my girls have bought homes now that don't have a full egress window and my husband and I are planning on blessing them with egress windows if anyone ever stays in their basement.

Speaker 1 47:19

You walked it firsthand to know that that can be life or death.

Speaker 2 47:22

Yeah, yes for sure, and it's so violent and it's so fast, they just have the plan, like you said. I'm glad you mentioned that because it's so, so important to get a plan that your family can all agree upon and revisit it. Say, you know, the first of every month we're going to revisit what was that plan again, because you could talk about it one year and five years go by and, you know, talk about it again and the kids have grown up and they have another level of maturity and maybe you change your plan a little bit because kids grow and you just figure out what you want to do. Get out is the big thing. It's just get out first and foremost.

Speaker 1 48:01

And I'll link in the show notes listeners man, way back in the beginning of the podcast we had a woman on that talked about digitally preserving your photos as well as important documents, and so that would just be another good one just to go listen at.

Speaker 1 48:11

I know it doesn't change anything, andrea, obviously, for your situation and what an example you are to us of these things that we think are like I can't imagine not having those things and how you can get so caught up on that but releasing that in your situation. But for those that are listening, we can take action to prevent some of that loss. There'll be something else in the story that God has to allow you to release in your story. But just taking some precautions to take some of those extra steps to have the pictures and the artwork and those things preserved because we get busy and we think I'll do it, I'll do it, I'll do it, and even just having you know one tenth of it is a blessing, and I'm so glad that you were able to get right to get those back from other people that had them somewhere.

Speaker 1 48:56

So just just good things to think on. Nowhere do we need to live in a state of panic and assume that everything's going to be gone tomorrow, but just small things that we can do that make a big difference. And so go pay those premiums Everybody today. Go check on your premiums, get those fire plans, but get your Bible out. Get your Bible out and get your foundation solid before the house burns down. And I know for Andrea and Steve the reason they were able to walk their kids through this the way they did, the way they were able to manage their minds and their attitudes and turn to praise and gratitude, isn't because they decided that day to start walking with Jesus. It was because they had a lifetime of pouring into and committing to prayer and Bible study and mentorship and leadership and becoming Christlike, and that showed up for them in a way that blessed their family and the people that watched how they walked through this adversity, so that I mean, go do that before you do anything else.

Speaker 2 49:55

But get your foundation solid.

Speaker 1 49:58

So any final words, Andrea, before we wrap up.

Speaker 2 50:05

Yeah, you know the beauty through ashes theme. He, he, he brings beauty always through the ashes and sometimes it's in the physical realm, but most of the time not, it's always in the spiritual realm, Always, always in spiritual realm. Just one physical realm story I'll say is from the clump of melted guns my son-in-law was able to remelt and forge two words that he put on a plaque in my husband's office and they're the words that kind of sum up Count of Monte Cristo. My son-in-law and husband are reading it. It's called Wait and Hope and it was just really beautiful to make some like this old melted gun glop. That was good for nothing, to turn that into words and then turn that into a message. It was really beautiful.

Beauty From Ashes Reflections

Speaker 2 50:49

But most of the time it doesn't happen in this world, in the physical realm, but always in the spiritual realm. He has believers, he makes us a new creation and then after that he's changing us. He is this source of truth and beauty and goodness and then he's changing us, changing our desires, reordering our loves. He does all that work and he changes us so that we actually can become more beautiful like Him, because we're becoming more like Him, beautiful like him because we're becoming more like him. So, internally and spiritually, there's always beauty from ashes, because God promises to take everything, all the hardships, and teach us and grow us through all of it. So there's always that. I know it doesn't always happen, maybe physically, especially the way that we can see, but he's always at work. He's at work and just. I guess one last thing is just, God is just sovereign and good and that doesn't change despite our circumstances. And again, we've been through harder things than this and been really tested in this. But, starting with that premise, there is not a more valid and true premise ever existed other than God is sovereign and he is good. Those two always will be true and they are the foundation of our life.

Speaker 2 52:10

And Tim Keller is one of our favorite preachers and I took away these three points from the sermon that I just think are so encouraging and I'll leave you guys with these three points. Or, Tim Keller reminds us, as believers, that bad things turn out for good Romans 8, 28,. He works all things together for good for those who love God. And, as believers, our ultimate good is defined differently than how the world defines it. Two, that good things can never be taken away Romans 8, 38, 39, nothing in all of creation can separate us from the love of God. And three the best is yet to come. So one day we're going to dwell with God and mourning and death will be no more. So the best is yet to come. So those are just good reminders that we're trying to put before us in our family.

Speaker 1 53:02

We come back to those three things because they really help with understanding life and how good and sovereign God is, yeah, and even when we can't see the good, he is working it somewhere in there. Somewhere in there, and one day we'll be able to understand it Hard, sometimes in the midst of it, or even in our lifetime to understand the good, but he's using our pain and our story, sometimes not just for our good, but for the good of others as well. So thank you so much, andrea, for being with us Listeners, thanks for being here for another week just to be able to sit in and learn from others who are choosing it's a choice, it's a verb choosing to put their hope and faith in something that's way more solid than what we cling so tightly to day to day here on earth, and so I hope this was an encouragement to you. Be sure to share this with someone else that you think would benefit from it or would be encouraged by it, and we'll see you here again next week. So until then, take care, friends.