Growing Together
Step into a virtual garden of spiritual growth and community connection with the "Growing Together" podcast. This podcast is a nurturing space for individuals seeking to deepen their faith, cultivate relationships, and explore the boundless beauty of a shared spiritual journey.
Each episode of "Growing Together" is a breath of fresh air, where Pastor Michael, Syd, Nic, Pastor Holly, and Pastor Roger try to navigate the twists and turns of life while staying rooted in faith. Their warm and inviting presence makes you feel like you're sitting in a cozy living room, engaged in a heartfelt conversation with old friends.
Diving into topics ranging from personal growth and self-care to building resilient relationships and fostering a sense of community, the podcast aims to equip listeners with the tools to nurture their faith in all aspects of life. Through scripture readings, open discussions, and interviews with experts in various fields, "Growing Together" provides a holistic approach to spiritual development.
Whether you're a lifelong believer, a seeker on the spiritual path, or simply someone curious about how faith can shape lives, "Growing Together" offers a welcoming haven for everyone. Tune in during your morning routine, while taking a leisurely stroll, or even during a quiet moment of reflection – the podcast fits seamlessly into your daily life.
Join the "Growing Together" community and embark on a journey of discovery, growth, and genuine connection. In a world that can sometimes feel disconnected, this podcast reminds us that nurturing our faith and cultivating meaningful relationships can lead to a life that's deeply fulfilling and spiritually abundant. Subscribe now to start your journey of growing together in faith and fellowship.
Growing Together
The Unseen Power of Human Connection
Have you ever found yourself unexpectedly plunged into darkness with only the flickering light of a candle to keep you company? Join us as we share tales of rural charm and the quirks of power outages, where generators and mischievous squirrels take center stage. Amidst laughter and teasing, especially directed at our frequently absent friend Michael, we explore how these little disruptions bring loved ones closer, creating a cozy haven filled with warmth and humor.
Ever had a friend who ropes you into their moving chaos? This episode celebrates the beauty of friendship and mutual support, with Roger recounting his Sunday escapades helping Michael with his big move. From humorous grievances to witty banter about Beth's vibrant spirit, we highlight how these friendships thrive on give-and-take, humor, and camaraderie. Through these anecdotes, we appreciate the essence of leaning on each other and the joy of shared experiences.
Discover the profound impact of supportive relationships and the courage they inspire. We discuss how honesty and accountability in friendships push us toward personal growth and resilience. Through personal stories, we illustrate the life-changing power of encouragement, whether it's pursuing new opportunities or embracing life's uncertainties. With a focus on themes like financial responsibility, family struggles, and finding faith through adversity, we delve into the complexities of relationships and the strength they provide. Join us in this heartfelt episode as we uncover the extraordinary within the ordinary through stories of struggle, growth, and unwavering support.
It dropped 20 degrees from.
Speaker 2:When.
Speaker 1:I left work to now.
Speaker 3:Or before I got here, well, like it was like at 5 o'clock it had dropped 12 degrees by the time I had picked up Finn from school at 3 o'clock to 5.30. When I left it had dropped 12 degrees and I'm like for me.
Speaker 1:It went from 62 to 42.
Speaker 3:Yes, that wind.
Speaker 2:My electricity was. I think it flickered five times.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah. We noticed ours must have gone off at some point.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like was something blinking, like your light or something.
Speaker 4:Mine might be off, who knows?
Speaker 1:You have electricity, roger.
Speaker 4:Yeah, michael said, you did everything by candlelight water the water wheel water mill the oil lamps hey, I got three of them I know my mom always had hers when we, when we first moved out there, uh, it was, oh, I would say, at least twice a month sometimes, sometimes more. I mean, the wind would blow and that's it.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 4:Broken tree branch or something you know falling on the power line going through the woods. Okay, so then I got. Well, I had a generator. Well, when we were oh, it's been a few years ago when the power was off for like three or four days, my wife said, well, we got to get, so she buys this generator. I mean, it worked for a while, but it just kind of died, died yeah.
Speaker 4:So the power went out again? Well, no, it didn't go out. So I said we're getting a good generator. So we got a good generator Now, I mean, I can actually run the electric stove too.
Speaker 2:Oh nice.
Speaker 4:But yeah, but now the power. Doesn't you know they actually were taking care of things?
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, finally Finally.
Speaker 4:After 20 years, no no, it's funny, I was oh, go ahead, but the power I mean it still goes off once in a once in a great while.
Speaker 2:I'm assuming it's probably a squirrel or something that gets yeah, gets on the line and jumps and didn't quite make it, and his tail whenever it was flickering, or it went out for a few seconds after it flickered and I was walking around because chase was gonna come home in like an hour. So I just lit the candles, because he does that a lot for me, like when I'm coming home from like this or something, it's just nice to walk home or walk into the house smelling good and stuff. So I was walking around lighting them and then it like turns off. I'm like that's just funny. I'm like well, I'm already prepared. I think I was like lighting my last one when it was like it shut down, but it came back on about five seconds later.
Speaker 4:Yeah, so yeah, if it flickers and it goes out, it's out, it's out. Yeah Well, yeah, ours. If it flickers and it goes out, it's out, it's out, out, yeah, it's out out.
Speaker 3:Well, I haven't been home yet to see if mine went out, but if so, the microwave will be out. The stove clock will be out.
Speaker 2:The coffee pot clock will be out when it comes back on, it's blinking, blinking, yep, all right. Well, the topic is who is one person you think god put into your life for a reason? You can read that from car over there. Yeah, but not really, because I was like all those cords, yeah, and my microphone, michael's microphone? Oh yeah, michael is not here again again. He missed us last week. Yeah, I mean, I think at this point we're gonna have to fire them both yeah, we can start getting there and send it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, um, hopefully best feeling better with the shot. Yes, hopefully, and hopefully michael's moved in by now, because it's taken weeks well, he had a scare there, didn't he?
Speaker 3:he. Yeah, a little bit he did, yeah he did so, but it all worked out.
Speaker 2:Yeah, he had a plan. He was telling us the plan, like I'm going to have people here doing this and this, and then this.
Speaker 4:I don't know how that's going to. I don't know how that's going to work. How it's going to work out How's anything the only thing I have to do Is move the lawnmower. That's it.
Speaker 3:Not bad, because you got a trailer.
Speaker 4:And move the lawnmower. That's all I got to do.
Speaker 3:Well.
Speaker 4:Supposedly.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you'll get there with the lawnmower, since Roger's here who?
Speaker 4:knows what else he'll have me do. We'll put this bed together and then we'll do this, so it'll be an all-day thing, maybe two days, who knows, depends on how much he's got together. No, I don't mind. He puts up with a lot from me, but I put up with a whole lot from him.
Speaker 1:We all see it, roger. We all see it, we do.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I mean, how many times did you get heckled Sunday morning? I mean the sermon's only 45 minutes. I think he heckled you at least five or six times 40 of the 45 minutes.
Speaker 2:Yeah, 40 of the 45 minutes. I think he echoed you at least five or six times. 40 of the 45 minutes, yeah 40 of the 45 minutes.
Speaker 4:He has to have somebody to lean on Right. That's true.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know, I think people hurt the ones they love the most. Michael.
Speaker 4:Well, he must really love me.
Speaker 3:What was that mom? Always saying they're talking about me. Yeah, somebody else alone for a moment? Yep.
Speaker 2:All right, so is that your one person, roger.
Speaker 4:Oh, I don't know. I guess you know, but that could work both ways though.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know, yeah, honestly you know, but that could work both ways though. Yeah, you know, yeah, honestly. Do you want to elaborate?
Speaker 4:and I think it does I do too yeah, because he leans. He leans on me a lot, mm-hmm, he might not he might not admit to it no yeah.
Speaker 2:And I think he would. I think he'd admit to it too, yeah, if he was sitting here.
Speaker 3:As he would call you a legacy member. I'm just old. He wants your knowledge.
Speaker 2:You know I feel like old. That should be an acronym for like Legacy, something. Legacy department Original legacy department. You're welcome.
Speaker 4:I'm glad Beth isn't there. She'd have something smart to say, she'd chime in.
Speaker 3:She's quick, she's witty.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I know, I used to like her.
Speaker 2:Not anymore. You used to like her and then you got to know her you're not here to defend yourself, yeah, but well, that's the only reason I can say it now.
Speaker 4:I'm afraid she'd hit me he's like throw something at.
Speaker 2:He's looking at the chair like she's gonna hit him down.
Speaker 4:He's not here. I'm waiting. I'm waiting for her to jump over here, pound knots on my head. Nah, you know, I don't know.
Speaker 2:Let's have somebody else and I'll I'll think about it yeah, well, and I think when you were saying that, like you've kind of leaned on him a little bit the past few weeks, like he was taking you to some different appointments that you have going on and that's you know. Oh yeah, it's kind of mutual, which is nice.
Speaker 4:It's fun too. Yeah, oh yeah, it's fun too. Yeah, oh yeah. I mean, he actually says in church sometimes that we kind of argue.
Speaker 1:Well, we do.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I mean, because sometimes what he wants to do is not really what should be done, right, yes, or the way it should be done, uh-huh. And I said well, you know, you, just you know, but he's always in a hurry, right, I mean, and that's just him.
Speaker 3:What I think too. When we're close with somebody, we're not afraid to tell them how we feel.
Speaker 2:Yeah for sure.
Speaker 3:Beth and I have known each other since the first grade. If we want somebody's true opinion, we're going to ask each other we might not like their opinion.
Speaker 2:Right. But other, yeah, we might not like their opinion, right, but you know you're gonna ask, but I know it's coming, it's going to be exactly, you know whatever she's going to say to me is coming straight from her heart.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and that's what you asked her for to begin with, right, yes, yeah, we push each other for excellence yeah, sometimes that's all somebody needs.
Speaker 1:Is that one person in their life that's willing to push them right, yeah, yeah, if you don't ever have anybody pushing you right you get lazy.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know, you get self-centered well, almost like you don't have anyone like. If you're not, and it's easy not to hold yourself accountable. So if you're not going to hold yourself accountable which I mean a lot of people don't then you need someone else to. And I think you know, that is a perfect person.
Speaker 4:And as long as you respect what they say.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 4:And not get mad, or you know like, okay, well, and then you know, I guess maybe you would step back and think about what you wanted to do or what you said, and think well, maybe they're right, that's really, I really shouldn't do that. I shouldn't have said that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think a lot of times we can get relationships with people that you find out that they don't have your best interest at heart.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:And so, therefore, I think, if you find yourself not growing either in a relationship, if you don't find yourself growing or you don't feel that relationship growing, it's probably not a good relationship.
Speaker 2:I came across a quote it was an advice, something a few weeks ago, and I texted it to myself and it said what you're not changing, you're choosing. Oh yes, I'm like wow, and it kind of just dawned on me when you said that nick, yeah, yeah that's a good one.
Speaker 1:so, yeah, yeah, so, yeah sometimes, because my wife's that way for me. She pushes me and sometimes I don't like it, because sometimes, you know, I want to relax, but she's since the beginning of our relationship. It's like for Margie, it's like she could see the potential in me and I was at the point in my life where I could not see the potential in myself anymore. Like I was out of self-confidence, didn't believe in myself didn't think I had that much to give.
Speaker 1:But she could see that and she was willing to take that and be like okay, because I'd have been. I was in a job for like 15 years working for the same people who did not respect me, who did not value me, and she could see that and be like you're not going to continue to do this, you are going to go out and find a better job.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:If we're going to be in this relationship, you're going to go to the next level. Not because she's selfish or her own reason, but she's like you are capable of so much more and you're more valuable than what these people give you credit for If they're respecting you. You deserved, and it's not always fun being pushed.
Speaker 1:It's not because it does require hard work, it requires you to get out of your comfort zone, all of those things, but that's sometimes when you know you're in the right relationship now I want to know is she pushing you for your gettysburg?
Speaker 1:well, she, I think she has um I feel like she has supported me as as much as she can I don't think you need as much push for that I I don't, um, I'm fully convinced, though at this point, our lives are just so busy. Yeah, you know, like life is so busy, I have very little time actually to sit down and study. Yeah, like, because, like right now, all I'm concentrated on is my holiday lights.
Speaker 1:I gotta have them up by next thursday and I was doing really well, but now I'm behind because just things have gotten away lately and now the weather's kind of turned, the weather's kind of nasty. And so now I feel like I'm behind and so I'm not studying, I'm not focusing.
Speaker 4:Well, it's not staying daylight long enough for you to really get anything done. Yeah that too.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's like when you get home, it's like you know, you got to hurry up and try to get something done. You need to get a headlight and I've had that and I've had Margie out there with a flashlight. So I'm fully convinced now that I'm not going to go to the next step. That's just how I have it in my head. But I'm also like it's okay, it's okay if I don't pass To me. It's like okay, god's not ready for me to do it, it's just not the time Right.
Speaker 1:And I don't want to say that like oh, it's not the time Right. And I don't want to say that like oh, that's a cop out, like that's an excuse, because I think, like well, I haven't studied, I probably won't be as sharp as I wanted to be going in, but at the same time I just think, okay, I've been studying this all my life, yep, and, like you said, I don't really need much push from anybody to do it, so it's going to be what it's going to be. I imagine you know I can think right now there's no way I'm going to pass it and I'm not going to have the answer to these questions.
Speaker 4:Well, you see, you need to think positive though.
Speaker 1:Right and I think, well, maybe once I get in there it'll just start clicking Like. I'll realize just how much, I do know once, I once. I'm in the moment, but right now it's like, oh, there's gonna be a lot of people more sharper than me, they probably studied every day and you know they're gonna have the advantage.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's kind of could be true yeah, but you don't know that until you're in there. And that's that's kind of how it was with the like my dental assisting when I went and got certified, like people say this will be on there and this will be on there. You don't know until you're in there. And I just finally got to the point, like I think it was two weeks out and I'm like you know what? I've been doing this for like six months, I think six to eight months, and I'm like if I don't know it by now, I'm not going to cram all this in, I'm I just need to let go. I'll refresh and look at it, maybe 10 minutes a night or something but I'm not trying to cram any more in, because what was I doing the first six to eight months anyway?
Speaker 2:And I, I know I was adequate, you know. So I'm like there's no need to. I think I'm on track and I was, I was fine, I passed it, you know.
Speaker 3:But you can't hype yourself up so much yeah, when I went to take my my state boards you know the NCLEX exam it's like I had went to school with people who were cramming they were constantly and I'm like that's not me yeah, I either know it exactly, yep I mean we did quiz each other, yeah, the evening before.
Speaker 2:Yeah of us went down together, but it's like if you't, if you don't know about them, you're not going to, and logically.
Speaker 1:That's the way I think.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's good.
Speaker 1:And if I because I know there's a lot of well-known guides who I want to say flunked it three times but they didn't move on to the next level until they took it for a third time. And now these guys are like they're at the top of the top. Yeah, so I think it's okay, like if I take the test this first time and I don't pass it, at least I'll.
Speaker 1:I've been through the experience yeah I'll know kind of what to expect if there are any weak points in there somewhere yeah, I know what to focus on because there's so much to focus on oh yeah, there's just so much you know that they want you to know, and some of my interest in it aren't in those areas. So I may just have to realize like, okay, yeah, you're gonna just have to focus a little more on those things. But yeah but uh.
Speaker 1:but going back to margie pushing me, it's not so much that she pushes me, but I don't think I would have even ever done it if she wasn't in my life, because if. I was where I was before we were married.
Speaker 2:I'm like there ain't no way.
Speaker 1:I'm prepared Because, like I said, she has built me back up, to have confidence in myself and get me back to okay, I know who I am again. So that's what our relationship has done for me, is that she's made me realize that, yeah, okay, you know, I do have worth.
Speaker 1:Yes, you know I do have potential and there should never be a point in my life where I'm satisfied with, like I said, working at a job for 15 years and, you know, never hardly moving up in pay, no extra benefits, no nothing up and pay no extra benefits?
Speaker 2:no, no, nothing. Now I was going to ask with that, were you so just like in the rut, doing the same thing that when she brought that to your attention, did you realize it too? Or were you like you know what? You're right? I never even thought, hey, why don't I just go apply somewhere else? And oh, I was perfectly comfortable. Yeah, exactly exactly.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know, like like I realized it, but I was so comfortable, yeah, and you're like well, I'm paying my bills.
Speaker 2:I'm fine yeah.
Speaker 1:I'm surviving. Yes, I'm surviving.
Speaker 2:So you just my belly's full, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:You know, so it's just like that and maybe this it's easy to do, To get into that you know and, like I said, you can get into relationships with people you think they love you or have your best interests at heart, but sometimes you know you need that certain person to push you to the next level, and that's usually when you find out, oh, that's the person that really cares about me, because financially I was not doing well either, like I just spent my money Right, kind of like Michael says you know, we go crazy, we're collecting, this collecting that spending all our money and and.
Speaker 1:And she looked at my finances. Like what are you doing Like you? You know you're like, I know you're an intelligent guy. It's like what are you doing with your finances? I'm like.
Speaker 1:I don't know, I'm just bored, so I spend my money. It's the only thing. You know. What are finances? What are finances I you know, and that's another thing you're like. Well, why do I have to worry about that? Because I'm just going to be where I'm going to be, like I'm comfortable and you know, and I just couldn't see some of the more important things yes, you know when it comes to finances and stuff.
Speaker 1:because I was in that rut and she was just like you're to have to get this together or this isn't going to work, you know. And so she just gave me that you know incentive to be like okay, yeah, I got to start thinking you know, intelligently about what I'm doing, and it was just a bigger picture, yeah.
Speaker 1:You know, I mean I don't mind saying I mean I don't know what my credit score maybe was at the time, but it was pretty low. It wasn't good. Now it's like I can get a credit card from anybody I want to. She's brought me clear up.
Speaker 2:And that's work. That is hard work. And it's hard work because I didn't like it, especially when it's plummeted.
Speaker 1:Because I'm like what do you mean? I can't bid on this on eBay. I don't have this. I need this and she's like you don't need that you really don't. I want it and at the same time, she's made sure that I do get some things that I want.
Speaker 2:Yes. You know her right, so but she just made me realize like, okay, yeah, you gotta have moderation, yeah you gotta, you know well, and I think, with roger saying, look at, you gotta look at the big picture, like I truly don't think young men look at it like that. I didn't because chase, I mean I. I think it was like our first big fight and it wasn't a fight, it was just an argument.
Speaker 1:Because he didn't understand I thought I was going to retire on my collectible. That's what my mindset was. If I have this huge collection, they'll keep going up in value. Then, when I'm ready to retire, I'll sell it all I mean it's not you know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, perfect, we're like well so so yeah, but, but you didn't have that drive to do that though, right, you know, right you might have thought you did, but yeah yeah, no, but you can't be. You can do that right, but not with a credit score of correct hundred.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes, you know when you're spending pretty much what you don't have yeah you know, so you just gotta yeah yeah but men are.
Speaker 2:Maybe not all men are that way, but well yeah and even like with the whole big picture thing, like I was just like with the house. I'm like, hey, I don't know, like are you looking to be here forever? Because I was kind of looking at the projects, looking at the finances, like what do we need, how much do we need to save to get to this? And well and it was not just brushing it off well, I don't know, I think and I'm like, listen, buddy, and I'm normally a laid-back person, but I'm like, but I'm a woman, I need to know, I need I have an end point in my head, like everything else pretty laid back, but I need to know where it's, where's the train going? You know what I mean.
Speaker 2:And I mean it took a while and so we finally, okay, no, we don't want to be here forever. You know, maybe, and it was like 10 years like you know, that way we can kind of start our family there, but then once the kids are, you know, five to seven, then maybe move away or not move away but move out of that house. But I mean it took a while for him to figure out like, hey, let's just make a little plan, because I think he was kind of in that rut like just doing the mundane so, but yeah, just doing the mundane so, but yeah.
Speaker 3:Well, I think I have a few people that got in my life, first and foremost my parents.
Speaker 3:you know I wouldn't be who I was for sure who I am had not, you know, and my mom was my best friend growing up and I know people think you know your parents are your parents. They're not your friends, but but my mom truly was, as I got older, my confidant. She was my person that I confided in, she. I wasn't afraid to go home and say something to her and you know she would give me all of her wisdom and her advice and not not many people can say that.
Speaker 3:You know, yeah, you know I would go home and tell her anything you know like, and again, she would sometimes give you the, oh, the, the brutal truth. Most the time it was stuff you didn't like, and again she would sometimes give you the oh, the brutal truth.
Speaker 3:Most of the time, it was stuff you didn't like to hear. Well, yes, because when I was 24, I wasn't a Christian yet Again, thinking, though, that I was a good person, but I was not a Christian and I wasn't living my life the way that I should have my significant other and I at the time got pregnant. I was 24. So it wasn't like I was in high school, I wasn't in college, but I was 24, and I had to go home and tell my parents I was pregnant. I was an adult, but I had to go home and say to my mom I'm pregnant. She didn't turn her back on me, she didn't throw me out, she didn't tell me, she didn't love me, but I said will you tell?
Speaker 3:dad. I didn't want to have to tell my dad, you know, because my dad and I didn't have the relationship that I had with my mom, you know, and I didn't want my dad to be disappointed.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:In me, yeah, you know. But so first and foremost my parents, and then, if it weren't for my cousin Joni, when Joe and I got together again, we met each other when we were teenagers and then I went back to school and he went on with his life and then we got back together when I was 23, after I graduated nursing school. So as nurses, we think we can fix people. We're trained to heal people.
Speaker 2:I think women in general think that let alone women nurses. Yes.
Speaker 3:And I was a very emotional person, you know, and a forgiving person and a tolerant person, all qualities that my mother taught me. But so then, when Joe and I got together, I know God placed him in my life as well. We struggled a lot, we had lots of ups and downs, but you've got a nurse who wanted to be a mother with someone who's a few years younger than I am, three years younger than me, so I was 24. He was 21 when we got pregnant. He was nowhere near ready to be, yeah, out of his lifestyle. So. And then now we have a second child. So two years later, we have a second child. He is still living his lifestyle. He has an addictive personality. Alcohol was not his drug of choice. Women and hard drugs were his drug of choice, and um. So here we are still trying to survive, trying to make our family work. I'm trying to have a dad for my kids, thinking that I can fix him.
Speaker 2:Time out Chase. Oh, chase is Okay. One of Chase's family members has not been the closest to him in his life, but he kind of said I cannot imagine coming home. Because another significant other said imagine coming home to this while you have three kids, and then you're trying to deal with this, but then you also have another child yes, yeah basically, I'm like I think I would have went insane, but that's what I'm picturing right now with you, because you've got a two-year-old plus, you're pregnant, yes, okay go on.
Speaker 2:Sorry, I just wanted to put that into perspective.
Speaker 3:You know, and people used to say to me, does he work? And I'm like, yeah, he was a tree climber, the best in the area, they would say the best in the tri-state area but he worked for local companies who would pay cash under the table.
Speaker 1:Under the table, some companies paid half cash, half drugs oh really, oh wow wow so he's getting enabled by even the people yeah, I never even heard that.
Speaker 3:Like his employer so we would go for days and not see him, because now he's got a handful of money and he's got a pocket full of whatever it was for the week. So here I am, you know, trying to work at points. I worked three jobs to make ends meet. If it weren't for my mom and dad you know they babysat for me so they kept my kids a lot so I could work.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:So growing up the kids didn't see me a lot because I was working trying to make ends meet because I was too proud to ask for assistance.
Speaker 3:I wouldn't live on the system. Never once did I get food stamps or Section 8 housing or anything like that. I was too proud. I'm certain I would have qualified, qualified, oh yeah, oh yeah. But I was too proud. You know, my dad never missed a day's work ever in his life and he instilled that strong work ethic in me that you don't get anything for free, you don't get handouts, you work for it. And so I had that work ethic. But you know, if I weren't in that relationship with Joe, though, I don't think that I would have fully relied on God, and my cousin Joni started taking the kids to church with her because she went faithfully every Sunday. So she knew that Joe and I had this rocky relationship, so she would stop and pick up the kids and take them to church. And then, of course, Joe was like well, we've got Sundays free, so we're going to stay home together, so Joanie would take the kids. Easter programs, Christmas programs, plays, whatever I always attended. So then, after that, that's 30. I was 30.
Speaker 2:So six years into our relationship.
Speaker 3:I became a Christian, joe had not. So now we're kind of growing. We were growing apart anyway, right, but now we're kind of growing. Yeah, we were growing apart anyway, right, but now we're really apart, yeah, so then he starts coming to church. So we're a year into church together, so we decide we're getting married. Because he's now coming to church. He claims to be a Christian and he tells me he's not using.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and the loving forgiving person that I am was quite naive and I hate to say that in my mid-20s, a mother of two, I was that naive, but I was. I had faith and wanted to believe him at face value. That he was telling me you know, and not everybody loves you the way that you love them I was a convenience, I was a roof over his head, I was paying the bills so that he could live the lifestyle that he wanted to live. But because of all of that, it brought me to Christ. Yeah, as we were departing or separating now, mind you, we stayed in this relationship for about 15 years my kids were teenagers before we finally decided to fully, completely separate, break it off, that I had had enough. I couldn't do this anymore.
Speaker 1:And.
Speaker 3:I felt like a failure. I felt like why couldn't I fix?
Speaker 1:this. What did you do wrong? Why?
Speaker 3:couldn't I fix this? What did I do wrong? I would take it to the altar and I would pray about it.
Speaker 2:And you're like why isn't it fixing?
Speaker 3:One day God said to me, I give him his own free will.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you can't fix him. You have to lay him at this altar. You have to put him at my feet. If anybody's going to fix him, it's going to be me, meaning Jesus Christ, not me. So I quit picking up the baggage and carrying it back to the pew with me and I left it there and I started doing some Christian counseling. And a Christian counselor said to me one time how many times are you going to go around this mountain without a change? She said I know you want your children to have a dad. She said put good men role models in their life your dad, your brother the scouts leader, the FFA director, put good men role models in their lives and
Speaker 3:your children will be as good as the well parent. If you stay in this, you're not going to be well. You are already depressed. If you continue to stay in this and listen to the lies that he is telling you every day because he was very verbally abusive so he would tear me down every day. So if you continue to stay in this and listen to those lies, your children are going to be as sick as the both of you, if not worse.
Speaker 3:So I had to realize that Jesus Christ was my Redeemer. And at that time what was the acronym? Frog? Fully rely on God. So I had to fully rely on God. I learned to quit worrying. I no longer worry. What will be is going to be. Whatever Jesus Christ wants to happen in my life, as long as I am living the way that I need to be living, it will happen. So I don't worry about that stuff anymore.
Speaker 3:But I know for years I would quote the serenity prayer. I had to take a picture of it because I thought when it comes up I won't be able to say what it is exactly. God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. And the funny thing is is, to this day, joe and I are not separate, we're not divorced. I only ever planned to be married once. That was a one and done kind of thing. Yeah, I never. That's how I. I don't have a desire to be married a second time. And I have people say to me well, why aren't you divorced? Honestly, I don't know. For years because I felt like I was still a failure. But now I know that I didn't fail. I did everything in my power to make that relationship work. Yeah, and I know that I did not fail.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 3:But still, I'm still not divorced. He went his way, I go my way. He doesn't bother me anymore like he used to. Yeah, but. But I fully rely on God. Now I know that, and without that relationship, who knows where I would be? Or how I would still be living my life, or whatever.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because then you had to press in at that point.
Speaker 3:Yes, and then right here, we're missing her. But Beth is another person who God placed in my life. Yeah, she's been there for me in the hard times In that relationship when my mom passed. She has always been there for me. Yeah, she's been there for me in the hard times in that relationship when my mom passed. She has always been there for me, yeah, so.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I definitely think with Beth, like since first grade. You know, I mean like you don't, you don't come by that often.
Speaker 3:We have known each other for about 51 years. Yeah, that's that's amazing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's amazing yeah.
Speaker 1:Well, I think we all end up in the valley of the shadow of death at one time or another in our lives and, like you said, you kept going around the mountain and some people that's all they ever do.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:They never quit going around the mountain.
Speaker 3:They stay down in that valley to the mountaintop and had that counselor not put it in that perspective for me I probably still would be, going around the mountain because he is still living that lifestyle he probably always will be.
Speaker 2:I mean, he has, you want the best for him well, I do.
Speaker 3:I still pray for him.
Speaker 2:Yeah, he's the father of my exactly, exactly and the grandfather to our grandchildren, yep, when people can't look at it that way, I don't understand. No, I just when they're just so like the vengeance, you can tell you know, and I'm like, that is the father of your children.
Speaker 3:I mean Right. Well, I mean he used to wish me dead. I'd be walking out the door and he'd say to me I hope a semi hits you on your way to work.
Speaker 2:Yeah, okay, wish me dead. I'd be walking out the door and he'd say to me I hope a semi hits you on your way to work.
Speaker 3:Yeah, okay, thanks, okay, yeah right thanks, yeah, you know, right back at you. Wow, okay, you know, but verbally abuse. And then when the verbal abuse turned more towards my daughter as well, and I mean so, she had to put up with it for several years, but after that it was like no, enough's enough.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you know you can verbally abuse me, but you're not going to verbally abuse our children. Yeah, and he never did our son, ever it was, was it?
Speaker 2:kind of because you're just like your mother, type of thing.
Speaker 3:Um type of thing um no no, no, just just a female thing in general. I don't. I don't exactly know why, but she got the stubbornness of both of us and when she got older she put him in his place a time or two. Good, speaking the truth. Yeah, never had to raise her voice and she could make her dad cry. Good, by by speaking the truth.
Speaker 3:You know, yeah, it's so sad that he would say you know I'd take a bullet for you kids and for your mother. And she told him one time. She said, no, you wouldn't. You can't lay down your drugs Exactly, you can't lay down your drugs for us.
Speaker 2:You're not going to take a bullet for us.
Speaker 1:Yep.
Speaker 3:So yeah, but you know, I used to think, oh, what did I do? Why am I being punished? You know, god's not punishing us, he's preparing us, you know. So you know trust in the plan, not our pain. So you know, and again, and then Pastor Michael too, you know, when he asked me to join the podcast, I'm like that's out of my comfort zone. I don't have anything to say. Things don't come to me right away. I have to take a little mental note.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 3:So I don't forget what I wanted to say. But yeah, way out of my comfort zone, this is not something I ever thought that I would sit down and do.
Speaker 4:Well, that's how we grew.
Speaker 3:Exactly, and I was stagnant. I was stagnant and Satan liked me being stagnant. And when Pastor Michael asked, Beth and I were back in the other room. Beth and I were sitting there and he's like hey, would the two of you like to join the podcast? And Beth speaks up and says for the both of us, we'll think about it. And then she leaves and goes on vacation and came in early one day and pastor michael's like so did you think about it? Like yeah, I think I. I think I'm gonna do it. I need to get out of my comfort zone. I think I'm gonna do it. He's like well, what's beth gonna do then?
Speaker 4:she's gonna be there too.
Speaker 3:She'll be here he's like should I message the bells and whistles, tell her that I know that we're joining?
Speaker 1:yeah, satan knows how dangerous we are to his cause. So even you, being in the situation you were in, you still had God in your heart and his worst fear is that you're going to get out of that.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And many times it's like he thinks well, I'll make it so she'll never get out of this.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, but you defied the odds to do that. Yeah, and I wasn't seeking godly wisdom.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:I was going to work. I was working night shift, working with a bunch of women. You were just trying to survive I mean working three jobs and I would vent and they would give me their advice. Of course, the advice was always why don't you leave?
Speaker 1:him.
Speaker 3:Why are you still in this relationship? You know, but I would listen to them instead of seeking.
Speaker 1:God's word. Yeah, but Satan knew you were going to do this, so that's why he worked all the harder to just keep you going around and around. He thought, well, you'll just wear that path out.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you know, but when I think too, you know, and our son just got married what a year and a half ago. And he wanted his dad there. We had no idea even where he was half of the time, to know if we would get him there or not. Sounds like my life and his in-laws you know his future in-laws were like well, your dad will be there. He's like no, you don't understand. Yeah, he's an addict. Half the time we don't even know where he is. We don't know if he's alive or dead. Did he want him there? He did, he did, he did, okay, um, so, of course, this mama did everything she could to track him down, which I was a pretty good detective back in my day, I'm sure. Um, I found him, but it took me like three hours to get him in the car, to come to the house and get ready to leave, and it was like, and when we got down there, my son said if I'd have known, mom, that it was so hard.
Speaker 2:Such a hassle.
Speaker 3:And he took drugs with him while we were there.
Speaker 2:Well, and that's what I was going to ask, were you guys worried how he would act up? Oh, absolutely yeah, that's how my. Are we going to be embarrassed? How is?
Speaker 3:yes, absolutely. We lost him at universal. He took off with that, you know, because he was mad and didn't want to wait on the kids to ride a ride while we were there and so I've got the three older grandchildren with me and it was just an ordeal. It was a mess, yeah, but he was there.
Speaker 2:And then he probably your son, was probably like. I wish he wasn't.
Speaker 3:And that's what he said. Mom, if I'd have known he was causing this much trouble, you should have just left him at home. And I said but I knew that you wanted him there. You wanted a complete family, just like Nicole had a complete family. So that you wanted him there.
Speaker 2:you wanted a complete family, just like nicole had a complete family yeah, so, yeah, yeah, so we made it work, but boy was it a mess. Yeah, well, I think, well, my person, you know, like you said, with the family stuff, you know you can only say this person or that, but truly, like with the amount of I don't even want to call it trauma, but the amount of childhood things that my sister and I went through courses, we'll, we'll call them, you know, like I don't have that um relationship with mallory. You know, like it's's not even we were talking about trauma bonding. You know, me and Nick were last week, and it's not even that we're shy, it's just like, yes, we have trauma bonded in the past and maybe that many trauma bonds have made us who we are now. But I truly think, even that, like I think, with all the stuff that I went through, like my mom had terrible mental health issues she still does. You know, I'm like trying to do all these things for my mom and, oh, maybe if I do this it'll help her get better.
Speaker 2:Well, when they, it's the same thing with drugs if they don't want that help, they're not going to get that help, and I didn't realize that shy had figured that out before me, so so I was upset with her and I was talking, I was talking to someone, I was a counselor and and she's like you know, you don't want to break that bond between that's something you guys have.
Speaker 2:You never even realized that you were building it up to what it is today, but that's what it is. You know, even I mean my stepsisters, they have a good relationship but I don't think it's as tight as you know, me and my sisters and like, yes, I'm the older sister, but she's, you know, when she was doing like my maid of honor speech, when she's my maid of honor, like she was saying that I'm her therapist, her best friend. But I'm like, truly like, yes, I'm the older sister, but she is also my therapist. Like when I left work yesterday, like I didn't call Chase, I called Shy you know what I mean Like and told her about it. Because I'm like, okay, I'm going to go home and tell Chase about it, but I want to tell someone now, when I'm you know exactly.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but I was just so excited, like when I left and like she, she answered like hey, how'd it go? Like she was almost waiting for that, like you could tell. So I think she's definitely that person that you know God kind of put into my life, just I mean through all all aspects of life and you know I'm 28. So I mean we've got, hopefully, a lot more to go, but you know, and it's just even like that with the different seasons in life, like seeing her become an aunt with Cooper, like yeah, we've had, you know, we have Enoch and Dawson and Selah, which are my stepsisters, kids. But it's a little different when it's number one. Blood and I shouldn't blood does not define anything, you know what I mean. But I think, with the such a strong relationship and what me and shai's is, it's just a little bit different with cooper and her. So, but yeah, I'm just excited to see like her become a mom, because I know she wants to eventually and you know being having nieces and nephews and so on and so forth.
Speaker 4:So yeah, yeah, yeah, nieces and nephews and so on and so forth. So yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 4:Well, we have anything else I'm thankful for all the.
Speaker 1:you know I was going to say that there's no way I could single, put it down to one person I know.
Speaker 2:And that's. You know, when I read it, even when I read it last week, I'm like I don't know if I can put it down to one person.
Speaker 1:You know you picked it and for me it doesn't even come down to just people that I know or have known in my life. It comes for me being young when my mom got sick.
Speaker 2:It was like.
Speaker 1:I was 13, just on the verge of you know all of those things, yeah, yeah I kind of felt like I was on my own because my dad would have to go to work, come home, take care of her. So I didn't get it and, being the middle child, I didn't get a lot of attention, so it's like I had to figure out a lot of stuff on my own. Yeah, really quick and you know my dad. There was no way that my dad was going to be with all he was dealing with.
Speaker 1:He was not going to be able to help me with my own manhood, so to speak. He was just too busy, too concerned about my mom, just had his own things to deal with that whole situation. So God just started, I believe, started just planting other seeds in my life to help me out, right, and I just think of you know, just honestly, just I know I always go back to history but for me that's really how it was like in some ways. I was raised in my adolescence by men like abraham lincoln and stonewall, jackson and robert e lee and.
Speaker 1:Ulysses S Grant. They taught me so much about being a man and about how to go about things and deal with things you know, really difficult things and just gave me such a perspective on growth and on life.
Speaker 2:Yeah yeah, you're probably reading it like oh wow, I sound like a sissy now. Like, oh wow, I sound like a sissy now.
Speaker 1:Well, I'm just saying like I didn't have. I didn't have because, even like my brother, he was a year and a half, two years older than me and he was, you know, in high school, and that's the point where you're really kind of at odds with your brother. Yes, so he wasn't like a guiding force in my life because he had his own things that he was focused on.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:You know, I didn't really have any close uncles. Both my grandfathers were had passed before I was born, so I didn't have any, you know male role models in my life to. You know, to grow from, so I had to, I had to take it from. I was lucky enough. Like I said, God planted those seeds in my life that I was able to learn about these people and take you know their example of how they carry themselves and how they live their lives and I thought, yeah, this, this, you know that really helped me.
Speaker 1:You know to, and it's some of the same values that I hold today as far as just hard work and and and always doing. You know to, and it's some of the same values that I hold today as far as just hard work and and always doing. You know everything you can to resolve a situation. Just a lot of those things about manhood that sometimes you learn from.
Speaker 2:Yeah, somebody close to you a family relative.
Speaker 1:Well, I had to learn that kind of thing from another source. And you still learned it, though, and I did another source and you still learned it, though and I did, yeah, and in some ways I think I learned something even greater like I was able to look almost even farther into things than most adolescents.
Speaker 1:Yeah, age knew because I was really yeah you know reading into it, you were able to like kind of analyze yourself yeah, so holding my I think thing for me was like I learned to hold myself to a standard a lot earlier in life, because when I was a teenager I didn't run around and I think, with my mom being sick and my dad being distracted, I could have run wild being a teenager, I could have just run wild.
Speaker 1:I could have done whatever I wanted to do, and because I had those seeds planted in my life and those examples follow, I didn't do those things. I was more focused on you know, wow, I think, the way that they lived their lives and how they carried themselves. That's how I want to be.
Speaker 4:Yeah.
Speaker 1:You know, and so I focused more on that than finding some drinking buddies around with on. Saturday night. You know, I never experienced that, yeah, and I and honestly, I never experienced that. Yeah, and I and honestly I didn't experience anything like that until I got divorced and I found myself doing all the things that I never did when I was young that I would never do.
Speaker 1:That was totally out of character for me right you know so, uh, so in some ways, yeah, I did go through something like that, but at least I still had you know those lessons to fall back on. Yeah, or it probably would have been a lot worse. Yeah, yeah, you know this is what I think.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it would have been a lot worse, for sure, because I would have been a completely different person.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so I'm just very grateful for those people in my life, just for those examples, because I had a huge void in my life at a certain age and, you know, if I wouldn't have had that to turn to, I don't know where my focus would have been.
Speaker 3:Well, like in my early twenties, I did my fair share, drinking. You know, we went to the bars and danced and did my fair share. And people said, you know, when Joe and I get together, they're like well, didn't you know, didn't you know he was an addict. And I'm like well, I knew he smoked pot. Yeah, you know, I said he was smoking pot, I was drinking yeah I said so to me that yeah you know, was no different than right going out and drinking.
Speaker 3:I said you know so. But when, when we became pregnant, when I was pregnant, I was like, okay, this lifestyle has to change. Right, we're now adults. We're adults now. Well, my lifestyle changed and his didn't. It just continued on so we just did nothing but grow apart.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah. I think with the you were saying, nick, like did people even tell you like your life could have? I mean, you could have went rampant, you know, ramp like wild, but you never did. Wild but you never did. Did anyone ever tell you that, based on your teenage years, um.
Speaker 1:I don't know. I mean my mom would, just because my mom would beat herself up a lot for not being there, and I'd be like Mom. I completely understand. How could you be?
Speaker 2:You were that ill.
Speaker 1:You were fighting for your life and she just never forgave herself for not being there for me in my most important years of being a teenager and stuff and stuff. I don't know if anybody really ever pointed that out. I think it was more so that people would really point out the fact that wow for your age you, I guess you're an old soul or you know you're a lot more mature than most people your age, because my first job was at the IGA grocery store down on.
Speaker 1:Trenton Avenue, and before I was even out of high school, I was managing a department.
Speaker 2:That's how I was at Maurice's.
Speaker 1:It's like I was already, you know, making far ahead of people my age as far as taking on responsibility.
Speaker 2:Like.
Speaker 1:I could see those are some of the lessons I learned was I learned to take on a lot of responsibility, you know, and, like I said, I had to do that. Yeah, there's just a lot of things that I had to figure out for myself, you know, very early when most you know, yeah, they don't have to do that.
Speaker 2:Well, and I think like even not theoretically, but I think that's just normally what happens anyways, not your way, but most of the time, like you said, you're like you know heck, dad was never home. You know he was always taking care of mom. Like, yeah, you could have been going out and drinking and doing all the things. I could have free reign, do whatever I want, yeah, and but you chose not to. And someone said that to me. I think it's actually Chase's stepbrother, because he's known me since like eighth grade and that's actually how I met Chase and he's like he never knew like as much about what I went through with my mom until I started dating Chase and he said one day he's like man, sid, like you could be using this like as a sob story. You could have been, you know, just saying, well, my life is terrible because of this. I'm like, but why?
Speaker 2:yeah and could be a victim yeah instead of a victor right, yeah, and I'm like okay.
Speaker 2:and then, and I truly think, though, like I don't I never really pressed into that part, like about, oh, feel bad for me, because like my dad was such a you know not proud man, like I mean, yeah, he's proud, but he was, he's very humble too, is the thing, and I think that was like just all the um hard work ethics like he instilled in me, like you said, like I never wanted to feel not that I was hiding it from people, like if someone was gonna ask me to tell them, you know, anything they wanted to know, but like I'm not going to just tell my sob story because of it.
Speaker 4:It woes me.
Speaker 2:Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 3:Well, yeah, and like I said to my kids when I was raising them is you know, you see what this lifestyle does See, you know? So I just always hope and pray that you know, because there were alcoholics on my mom's side of the family and addicts, and there were addicts on my dad's side of the family and then their dad's side of the family. It was everywhere.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:And I'm like, and it is hereditary Right, exactly so you know you pick up that first drink or you smoke that first joint. Who knows what it might lead into.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:So please just always be cognizant of that, always keep that in your mind and just and yeah, and I had that.
Speaker 1:I definitely had that going against me, because a lot of my aunts and uncles that's all they- did, was you know it? Was drinking every night of the week and they were great people, don't get me wrong Right. But the opportunities were there for me to just right.
Speaker 2:But the opportunities were there for me to just fall right into that. You could have leaned on them during that time.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and I think too. I am so grateful that my kids have a relationship with me, Because as much as we went through with me trying to hold that family together, they could just despise me.
Speaker 2:Like why did you put us through?
Speaker 3:this. You know my son has a hard time saying I love you. And I would say to him can't you, can you never tell me that you love me? You know my selfishness and he's you know, and he would just kind of like walk away from me. So I went out to work one day, went out to leave for work and there were flowers on the car with a card. So when he had left for school that morning he had stuck these flowers in this card.
Speaker 1:And.
Speaker 3:I'm like, okay, there's his way of telling me he loves me. He's not going to say it and I've always said to Beth, I just don't understand why he can't tell me he loves me. And so she was at a wedding that he was at his best friend's wedding and they were all there together and he's she's like somehow we got talking on. If we hit the lottery would be the first thing we would do.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:She said you know what your son said. The first thing he said Like yeah. First thing he said Yep, I'm going to do for my mom.
Speaker 2:Yep, yeah, yeah, so you know he's.
Speaker 3:Right. She said you raised your kids, right yeah exactly. Even though they they are the people that they are because of Yep, what we went through.
Speaker 2:I wanted to say because Nick was talking about his brother in high school and it reminded me. I'm like, well, I should have said with shy. I've always thought she was annoying. I mean, it was up until my junior year and you know, you start having classes with, like in gym or in art, and with underclassmen, and there were a few freshmen in a couple of those different classes and you know, I think we had a, an away football game and we were going to drive there and my friends were like, oh, um, we could take shot, because I think shy was asking away football game and we were going to drive there and my friends were like, oh, we could take Shai, because I think Shai was asking to go. I'm like, no, you know, they were like Sid, just give her a chance, she is a freshman.
Speaker 2:I'm like, you know, most people think, yeah, a freshman. But you know, but I'm like, wow, yeah, I now have friends that are freshmen, you know, I'm like maybe I should give her a chance. And then you know we go. I'm like, okay, I guess she's not that bad. So then that kind of just made me like stop thinking of her as that annoying little sister, cause she was. I mean she would pinch me, she, oh, she was the definition of that annoying sibling. I mean, if we got in trouble, it was automatically me.
Speaker 1:You didn't pick on her being older.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean I did, but yeah for sure, I for sure did.
Speaker 1:My brother just terrorized me until one day I had enough.
Speaker 2:Yeah, she started chasing me around with a knife, like at first she was like joking around with it.
Speaker 3:See, I always think when I hear people say say that because my brother and sister, I was the middle child as well, so my sister's older and my brother's the youngest, and we never fought. Ever, we were just always so close, we never fought, we never feuded with each other.
Speaker 2:Are there two of you?
Speaker 4:No, there's only one Nick.
Speaker 2:Three. How many brothers do you have?
Speaker 1:Two, one brother and a younger sister okay, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:So there were three of you, two of us. I was gonna say maybe it was just like only having two and I shouldn't there. There's five all together with my dad and stepmom. But, like I said, wish like shy, I was with her all day, every day, besides our classroom. She's what. She's two years younger than me.
Speaker 2:Oh, two years younger, yeah, but I mean because we would go with mom every other or every Wednesday, every other weekend, every other holiday, like all the things, you know, or even we would spend the night at my grandparents, and but Emily and Caitlin wouldn't go, and Mal was like a baby, so I mean, but I was with her all the time. So I don't know, I don't, I don't know.
Speaker 3:I think it was just finally, my kids aren't that close and I say to them all the time you're all that you have. Yes, each other is all that you have yes something happens to me or when, when you need somebody, the two, two of you, you have each other.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so and like you've gone through the same things, yeah.
Speaker 4:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, okay, hey, we almost made an hour 57 minutes and 33 seconds. Wow, ooh, ooh.
Speaker 3:We can talk without the other two yeah.
Speaker 2:Dawn. Would you like to pray us out? Let me see if I can get these.
Speaker 1:Get the music on.
Speaker 2:Oh wait, I have to hit the button. That would be nice.
Speaker 4:Is that the right button?
Speaker 3:I don't know. We're going to find out. Dear precious heavenly father, we come to you, dear Lord, thanking you for this day, thanking you again, thanking you again, lord, that you give us this platform, thank you that we can come in here and speak from our hearts. Lord, jesus, lord, I just thank you that we do learn to rely on you. Yes, and again, lord Jesus, I thank you that you were my redeemer, yes, and that I could fully rely on you. Lord, lord, god, I just pray that you take us all home safely and bring us back to our next appointed time, and all these things I ask and pray in your son's most precious and holy name, amen.
Speaker 4:Amen.
