Love, Faith, And A Hijacked Plane

Ever feel like your relationship is a flight that hits sudden turbulence, and you’re not sure who’s flying the plane? We get honest about love that starts with a spark and survives with a spine—how shared faith, daily grace, and practical habits turn romance into resilience. With Nick, Margie, and Dale at the table, we move from grocery hauls and wind-tunnel parking lots to the real work of being equally yoked. Attraction may open the story, but unity of spirit keeps it from falling apart when life gets loud.

We unpack the difference between infatuation and covenant, why “unequally yoked” is broader than believer vs. nonbeliever, and how mismatched fire—one spouse blazing, the other cautious—can still form a strong team. Dale shares how Connie’s bold gratitude nudged him to speak faith out loud, while Nick and Margie explore their opposite coping styles: steady calm versus big feelings, both anchored by prayer. Along the way, we visit biblical couples—Joseph and Mary, Ruth and Boaz, Adam and Eve, and the cautionary tale of Samson and Delilah—to pull out patterns that fit modern pressures: reputation, waiting, blended roles, and temptations that test trust.

This conversation stays practical. We talk about keeping God in the cockpit through simple, shared habits: a weekly family Bible study, short prayers over meals, and handwritten notes that outlast flowers. We make a case for words on paper—because when emotions surge, a thoughtful line can land the plane faster than another store-bought card. If Valentine’s Day feels like a script you’ve read too many times, try this version: honest faith, patient listening, and a pen that says “I see you.”

If this resonates, follow the show, share it with a friend who needs hope, and leave a review with your favorite takeaway. Your story might be the nudge another couple needs to keep flying together.

Transcript

Warm Welcome And Weekend Routines

SPEAKER_00 0:41

Alright, guys, we're back. I say guys because we got a special treat tonight. Once again, my name's Nick Offholder. This is the Growing Together podcast through the organic church. And I've got a good one tonight. Got my good friend, my good friend Dale Walker here.

SPEAKER_01 1:02

Here we go.

SPEAKER_00 1:03

And also I've got Margie here over on my right. So we've got a group, group dynamic tonight. So this is pretty cool. So I've I've like initiated you, Dale, got you warmed up, and then I initiated Margie, got her in for a couple episodes. And you both did so well. I feel like we could put put all our heads together and come up with something. Yeah, keep this thing going. But I laugh and I say, my good friend Dale, because he told me before we went on the air that he felt a little offended because when Margie and I did our episodes, we talked about how we don't have any friends, how we don't get together with any friends. And I guess Dale hadn't shed a few tears over that.

SPEAKER_01 1:43

Yes, I did. I took issue with that. Totally understanding about it, but I did take a little issue with it.

SPEAKER_00 1:53

But we explained. But Marty and I are just like very busy people. Like we can Monday through Friday. It's just with the regular everyday chores and keeping up with Maggie and Seth. One we just can't quite seem to kick out of the nest. Yeah, so we just stay pretty busy, and by the weekend, you know, we're going a big a big day out for us is go to Sam's Club. Oh yay me. Which Nick hates. I hate it.

SPEAKER_02 2:39

I love Sam's Club.

SPEAKER_04 2:40

I love it.

SPEAKER_00 2:42

Especially this time of year. Sam's Club in Canton, Ohio.

SPEAKER_01 2:45

Definitely get along. That's that's our thing. Well, I want the Sam's Club and I got this and I got that. I'm like, yeah. Okay.

The Sam’s Club Saga And Everyday Friction

SPEAKER_00 2:53

Sam's Club in Canton, Ohio is the wind tunnel of the world. I'm convinced of it. So it's 30 degrees colder there than anywhere else on the map. And just you get up there and you buy all that stuff. Guess what? You gotta load it all up. Then you get home and you gotta unload it all over again. And yeah, I just don't enjoy it. No, and anymore, you go down that first aisle and you're just attacked by these salesmen that want to trap you, you know, and try to sell you something, whether it's new cell phone service, new electric service.

SPEAKER_02 3:28

You don't deal with it, you outflank them.

SPEAKER_00 3:30

Yeah, I outflank them. So sometimes we'll go all the way down to the other end of the store first, come back, and do whatever we can. He's reconciled.

SPEAKER_01 3:37

I just I can't that's hilarious. That sounds like something I would do because Connie, I I tell people this all the time. If there are things in a gas station, she could probably stop shop for an hour in a gas station if they had things like gloves and you know female products or whatever. She could browse the aisles for oh, they had two for one water, Dale. I'm like gas station, let's go. I filled up, let's go.

SPEAKER_00 4:13

I mean, that is reasonable because every gas station out is a just a small convenience store. Yep, it is. So I mean, you can you can buy a lot of good stuff at the gas station. Probably for like three times the price that you buy it somewhere else. Uh she doesn't she like a box of cereal is like$15.

SPEAKER_01 4:31

Yeah, yeah. She's not getting cereal there, but she she will find a bargain there. She usually goes in and gets water. But like I said, if there were actually shopping deals to be made there, she'd be in there for a while. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 4:47

I don't I don't like to shop. I'm not a shopper by any means, but I do like to go to Sam's Club because I can get a whole bunch at once and we're set for two weeks. Two weeks, maybe. Someday it'll be a month or longer.

SPEAKER_01 4:59

No, this is a shameless plug for for grocery outlet. It's in Canton. Connie goes there constantly because they have huge deals on stuff. So she found it and then she's gone almost all day. And you're at home by yourself? No, not so lucky. I have I have Elsa.

SPEAKER_00 5:26

Well, that's because she knows she can't leave you alone because you'll be you'll be in tears.

SPEAKER_01 5:30

She le no, she leaves Elsa because Elsa will be. Can I have, can I have, yeah, can I have you leave her with daddy and there's none of that, so she can just freely fly around a store. And I have my life 360 and I check it like every two hours, and yep, still there. Yep, still there. But I don't complain because usually she's she's super considerate, and there's usually something in there for me. So I'm like, you were gone how long? Oh, I love this. Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 6:12

Uh well, so we got uh we got Valentine's Day coming up on Friday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, yeah. And Dale and I were talking, and I don't think that on this show we have ever done a Valentine's Day special edition. I know we've done Thanksgiving, we've done Christmas, we've done Easter, we've even talked about Halloween on this show.

SPEAKER_01 6:37

Yep, absolutely. I remember.

SPEAKER_00 6:40

So Valentine's Day is a new one, but I think I think we can make something out of this.

SPEAKER_01 6:47

I think so.

SPEAKER_00 6:48

So I think a good place to start would be, you know, I've got Margie here, she's my wife, obviously. You're Mary Dale. So when we're talking about a man and woman relationship and and what it means to be husband and wife, and what it means to be in love with that person, not only, you know, I guess maybe how the world looks at two people being in love, but spiritually as well. You know, what makes two people truly connect and be able to stay together and and survive in this world? I think spiritually that you both have to be spiritually led. I know for Margie and I, I I've said it before when I was married to my first wife, there was no dialogue about God or the Bible or you know, anything religious. There just was not, we did not share that. I would actually go to church and she would stay at home. So I was the man going to church, which is usually it's the other way around. Unique dynamics, yeah. Yeah. And we didn't really talk about it much. So there was a big hole there, I think. And with Margie and I, it's the complete opposite. I mean, we've we've talked about God since we've been together, and it's it's never felt awkward, or we're like we were waiting on the other one to catch up, you know. So it just came naturally. We were able to do that, which I just think is a big advantage that makes up for makes up for a lot of a lot of things. And Dale, how how does that work for you and Connie? Well, what's the history of that?

Pulling Each Other Toward God

SPEAKER_01 8:27

Well, as far as me and Connie go, our uh our relationship has been a me basically Connie will say that I pulled her back to where she where she wanted to be. She was not she'll and she'll even tell you, she was not living the way she wanted to live. She was not doing what she wanted to do. She was in a loveless relationship and without getting into too much detail, I've always been in church. I've been in church since since birth. And so to be to not be in church would be like that's not gonna happen. I gotta I gotta attend. So I would go to church and she we used to do karaoke together. And so when we started dating and well, I went to church, so she was like, I've always, you know I've always been a church person, but I kind of strayed away from it. And then she started going to church with me. And then from there our relationship just grew. And she got back into doing what she wants. She loves children, so she's in kids men. She's she's in teaches pre-K to th third grade children because her heart is for kids. And so she's uh teaches a k uh school in Canaan and she's able to relay the gospel to them because it's it's a Christian school. So she can she can put God into these kids' lives that don't necessarily have a lot of you know, a lot of influences that are doing that for them. So but relationship wise I as as she would say, I was the one that pulled her back into the church and got got us moving towards God. But if you ask me, she's the one that made me more how do I put more direct and more wanting to be who God's calling calling me to be. I'm still not there. She's the one that she has the fire, like we'll have conversations with people and she'll be like, Oh, God was moving today, or thank you, Jesus, for that. She's very quick around no no matter who they are, whether they're whether they're churched, unchurched, she's very quick to give God the glory for things that happened in her day. And it makes me like it's okay. You can do you can do that, you can be that kind of person too, Dale. You can because I wasn't that I wasn't that way. I am now, but I wasn't that way where I would see somebody and something would happen to me, and I'm like, oh, God was moving so mighty in my life. I am now, because I'll be like, that was all God, because I thank God for everything. I uh I can't find my glasses and then they're on top of the fridge.

SPEAKER_00 11:38

On top of your head.

SPEAKER_01 11:40

Yeah, before that, I'll be like, and I find them because in my in my mind, I was not thinking, I had no clue where to look for whatever, whatever, whatever the situation is. It's uh it's out of my hands because I I don't know where to go with this. So if I find my glasses or my I, you know, find my wallet, which I lose frequently, I give it to I give it to God. I'm like, thank you, God. Because he called it to my remembrance. And so those are things that I wasn't doing before that be, but because of Connie and because of our relationship, I feel like I can do that kind of stuff now.

SPEAKER_00 12:27

And so But I find that interesting because you said you kind of brought her back into the fold. You were the one that went to church all the time. She wasn't, but somehow she now is the one that has the fire, and you're going, wow. Like I I can't do it that way. Exactly. And and now you're trying to come up. It seems like you you you started it, yeah. I and you brought her to your level, but now she's she's taking the next step, and now you're going, oh wow, I didn't realize that step was possible. It's uh it's so now you feel like okay, now I've got it.

SPEAKER_01 13:06

Yeah, I can it's and it's not so much that I feel like I had to step up as much as like she made things that she did that were okay. Because I had this thing, I'm a I'm a shy person. So she would do these things, you know, as far as you know, saying what God would have you say, you know, witnessing and all of that. And I'm like somebody's gonna not appreciate what I say, or somebody's not gonna they're gonna take it the wrong way or whatever. She doesn't care. She's like I know he's responsible, I know he's moving in my life, I'm gonna give him the credit because it's it's biblical. You gotta give him his flowers.

SPEAKER_02 13:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 14:00

Because it it's it's all God, and so she has no problem giving his flowers at any given moment. She's like, Thank you, God, or he's moving, or I'll pray for you, or whatever it is. And like I said, I don't feel like I had to step up my game, but she made those things, those type of interactions and those responses okay to do. And I'm like, if she's doing those, I can do that. Because I and I should be doing it because not to sound chauvinistic, but I'm the man. I you know, I should be leading the household. And so if my if my queen is doing that or if my wife is doing that, then it it I I should be doing that too. And I should be because anything that I do is a reflection on the household. So But yeah, I'm she's she does every every day there's I'll never catch up to her because every day she's doing something that I'm like oh wow, you d you doing it again. I can't I can't do I can't do that one yet, but I'll get there. You know, so but I will say that I'm I'm probably more into my word than she is. So but she's more in touch, I think, with the Holy Spirit than I am.

Emotion First, Then Commitment

SPEAKER_00 15:36

And I I don't know about like as far as like speaking in tongues and all that, but her conversation with God I feel like at some times I feel like she's closer in relationship with him than I am, because of the way she talks about and talks to him because monopolizing the conversation, but she just has a way with the things she says, like if we're praying over a meal, the way she she thinks of other people, she thinks about people around the world, children, she thinks about all these things, and I'm like, I've got to broaden my scope, yeah, and it's because she's doing those things, and so one those men I think are built that way that we're not thinking about those things as much to begin with. You know, we're out thinking about God only knows what we're thinking about every day, Dale. But you know, we go to work and and we tend to just focus on work, you know, and what our duty is, what our title is, and we put everything we have into that. At least I do. And so I can get tunnel vision thinking of thinking that way every single day. And don't get me wrong, I I place God in my life in what I do every single day. But I don't think about all these other things while that's going on. And when I get home, I don't tend to think about those things either. Usually I'm thinking, okay, God, you get me through one more day. I gotta do this all again tomorrow. Yeah. So I can be a little self-centered, I guess, when it comes to my job and what I'm supposed to do and and how I'm gonna keep up with all that and all the responsibility. And so a lot of times I'm not thinking about the things like you say your wife's thinking about, you know, whether it's children or you know, spreading the gospel here over there, and just and you know, it was like Michael was talking about, you know, he doesn't believe that love is an emotion. You know, it becomes more, you know, I forget what word he used, but uh commitment, I think. Yeah, it's more of commitment.

SPEAKER_01 18:00

Yeah, that's it. I wanted I wanted to talk to him about that too, because I feel like love starts out as an emotion.

SPEAKER_00 18:10

Oh, it definitely does.

SPEAKER_01 18:11

And becomes a commitment. Yeah. Because he's because you have to have the emotion first. You have to have the attraction first, whether it's whether it's attraction to person of the opposite sex, or whether it's an attraction to your friend, or or whatever it is, you have to have the attraction, the emotional attraction first, and then whatever you build from that is the is the commitment that turns into what I call true love. Because the first the first part of it, it's just it's just reg it's just love. You know what I mean? It's like wow, they're cute or they're interesting, or whatever, whatever it is.

SPEAKER_00 18:54

Very basic, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 18:55

Yeah, and so that's that's the beginning emotional part of love. And then as you connect with each other, then it becomes commitment. True, yeah, it becomes the commitment and true love.

Unequally Yoked Beyond Labels

SPEAKER_00 19:08

Yeah. But I don't think it does I don't think the commitment gets there unless there's unless both people have a relationship with God. I don't think one can have it and and the other get away with not having it. I just don't think that works. And maybe people can make it work, maybe people can but I don't think a relationship can truly thrive the way it's supposed to unless m both man and wife are, you know, in the word and have a relationship with God to where they could talk about it. Yeah. I think if one or the other feels like they can't talk about it, oh yeah, as was in my case, I just think there's there's a void there. There's just and it's something you can't quite explain, put on paper, but it's just there.

SPEAKER_01 19:53

If you can't express yourself, no matter no matter what it is, if you can't express yourself with what's important to you, then it it creates a split. And especially when it comes to matters of God. If you're uh filled filled with God and you wanna you wanna tell your your spouse, you know, hey, let's go to church, I love doing this, that that that sermon was beautiful, and you can't do that, that blocks the Holy Spirit because you wanna you wanna let someone know that's important to you this how you feel about something, and all of a sudden you can't, and there's there that's that's the place you're supposed to be able to have the outlet. That's the place you're supposed to be able to go and share your matters of the day. I had a rough day at work, blah, blah, blah. You can do that, but you can't say, hey, I've been uplifted by that message, or or I really think we should have a you know a Bible study or something, and you can't do that. That starts to create the friction, that creates a breakup, and next thing you know, you're on this side of the couch, they're on that side of the couch, and it just it's downhill from there.

SPEAKER_00 21:15

Well, and I think you're outrunning your partner as well. Like you end up, you know, running leaps and bounds, and you hate to say it, but at a certain point, you're gonna leave that person behind. Because as a person of God, it's like you want to grow, you want to keep on moving forward, you want to build a better life, you want to do all these things. And if the other person doesn't want to do that eventually, yeah, like I said, maybe people can make it work, but there is always gonna be that gap to where one person has moved ahead of the other. And unless that person decides he wants to catch up or she wants to catch up, I think it can just leave a void that you know can be very detrimental.

SPEAKER_01 21:58

Yeah, I mean, and and also considering how much, you know, value they put on that other person or whether they're gonna try and catch up to them in some way because they're like I don't I don't care if they do that. That's good on them. I'm I'm done with them. Bye Felicia, whatever they say. But um, like I don't I don't I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 22:24

I think Well and the well the if you think about though, a lot of people can get into these relationships, even get married without even considering it or talking about it or having that discussion, then all of a sudden you're married. And you have no idea how the other person feels about it because it's almost like, you know, because when you date, like you'll do anything to keep Oh yeah, you do all to get one more date to keep that relationship going. You'll do anything, you know, and so you will avoid important topics sometimes in order to do that. So you'll let your human emotions and your worries and your needs keep that relationship going. And you don't even question these things. And all of a sudden, you can find yourself married to the person and never have had that conversation. And I can say that that was probably my first marriage. Like, yeah, that we didn't even have that conversation. And so it didn't even begin to start to be a problem until years down the marriage when you could finally see, like, oh, you know, I'm going here, she's going there. It's just we're not we're not gonna meet up in the middle here. And it could just lead to other problems. But that's kind of how I see it is you know, as human beings, you know, it's very unfortunate, but we can get ourselves into something as serious as marriage before you've even considered what the spiritual direction of that other person is. Absolutely. You know, you don't, you know. I mean, sometimes maybe you could pick it up from their parents, or but then sometimes you can't, because some a lot of people, like you say, don't talk about it. Like with Margie and I, yeah, we have the family Bible study every Monday. So it's starting to become like an established fact that we do this, and so it's understood that we do this. So let's say Seth gets a girlfriend, it's gonna be very well under understood for her that this is what we do, this is how we think, that we're believers. So it's very crystal clear, but a lot of people don't have that advantage, and they can, like I said, get you know, hooked up with somebody and end up marrying them, and you know, it's too late to start talking about it.

Coping Styles: Calm Plans Vs. Big Feelings

SPEAKER_01 24:33

Absolutely. And here's reasons that the Bible says not to be unequally yoked. Those kind of those kind of things, that's that creates torment for for both sides because you go into it and you go into it, you care about each other, otherwise you don't get together, right? So you go into it and you have all these expectations, but you don't delve into the things that really make that other make up that other person. And if somebody's makeup is a Christian and well, I don't mean a casual Christian, I mean God is their life. Like like us. And you're in there and all of a sudden yes, I I I love God, but I'm not as fool-on as these people are. And so that creates the split because it doesn't take much to be unequally yoked because a lot of people think unequally yoked means Christian, non-Christian. But that's not necessarily unequally yoked. Unequally yoked can be someone who believes a little bit and someone who is on fire. Because if someone is on fire and the other person's like a little bit, and you're trying to talk about it, and you're like, oh God said I saw a vision, and they're like I don't know about visions and all that, or speaking, you know. Yeah. So it you could it that can lead to breakup and can lead to I'm always saying breakup, but that can lead to different uh different types of dissatisfaction with each other because then you're like, you're always talking about it. I mean, i it's good, but can't you like give it a rest one day or something like that?

SPEAKER_00 26:44

And we're in a situation where you know, in any marriage, there's gonna be difficulties, you know, bad things are gonna happen, unfortunate things are gonna take place in your life, all kinds of different things. And so if you've got one person that can reason and say, look, honey, like it's gonna be okay. God has this. I have faith that this will come to pass, that something good's gonna come out of this, that you know, that that we we we can, you know, we can persevere through this, you know, we can pray about it, God's gonna take care of it in his own good time. And the other person could be looking at that and saying, I don't know how you can say it.

SPEAKER_01 27:20

How do you say that?

SPEAKER_00 27:20

Do you realize how bad this is, or they just they can't they can't see the light at the end of the tunnel. They don't have faith that all things is gonna work together in in his will.

SPEAKER_02 27:31

And so yeah, they could be looking at it like you're taking this lightly, you know, like you're Well, yeah, with that being said, though, uh I feel like a lot of times you take things lightly, but I believe in God and things are gonna work out for us just as much as you do, but you're just more relaxed about things, like it's gonna be okay, where I'm like, it's not gonna be okay, but I know it's gonna be okay. I really do, but that just the emotional part of it as a woman, like I'm upset about it. But I and it just about is always okay. And then when it's okay, I'm like, thank you, Jesus. And it's I don't think that I doubt that it's gonna be okay, but I'm just in that the moment, I'm just like You're like Connie.

SPEAKER_01 28:16

Connie's Connie's the practical side of my brain. She's the one I'm like, I'm like, God's got this, it's gonna work out. She's like, I know it's gonna work out, but we have to do X, X, and X, yes, yes, for it to work. You know, we can't just I'm like, yeah, I know, but we'll we'll we'll do that. But trust me, it's gonna like calm down.

SPEAKER_02 28:39

That's how he is with me. I'm like, don't tell me to calm down.

SPEAKER_00 28:42

Well, I'm just a believer that once you lose control, you're gonna so I'm very much like, I'll do whatever I can not to lose emotional control of the situation because I just think, well, once you do that, you're just complicating everything.

SPEAKER_01 28:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 28:58

But Margie like gets it all. I guess that's the thing. Like, I'll hold it in and I'll be talking to God about it and trying to stay reserved and just hold it all in and keep it all together. Where she's like, let's just get it out right now, let's get all the anxiety and all the fear and emotion out right now. And then after that, then I'll say, Yep, Jesus, you got this. But it's like she's got to empty the tank first, where I'm just trying to keep it, keep it all in. I think that's the difference.

SPEAKER_01 29:29

That is so conny. I'm serious. You two are like bees in a pot. But she is like, she wants to plan every step. And if one one thing is like not quite coming together the way it's supposed to, or even falling apart, I don't know how you can I don't know how you can be so calm about this.

SPEAKER_00 29:50

Well, sometimes like, honey, we're not playing dominoes here. You know, we're playing, I don't know, Monopoly. It's not and that's how he talks to me too.

SPEAKER_02 30:00

Like how he's like, like, honey, I'm like, don't hunt.

SPEAKER_00 30:02

If one domino, you know, with her, it's like dominoes. One falls, then they're all gonna fall. Like they're all gonna I'm like, it's that's not gonna happen.

SPEAKER_01 30:10

Like, just yeah, she's always like, Do you have a plan? Or is it I'm like, no, no, God's got the plan. I I I don't have a plan, but it's gonna be fine. We'll you know, we'll figure this out. God open, God will put something. What's he gonna put in like it sometimes just don't follow?

SPEAKER_02 30:32

Let me try to study on this one. It's like please don't say that to me. Yeah, just right. I have faith. I honestly do, and just yeah, like when things work out, I'm like, I knew it was gonna work out, but I have to stress and I don't, I think it's the woman inside of me, and that's just how we are. That's who most of us are. It's just like you have to be able to see it in your mind. This is how it's gonna play out. And when that second thing doesn't hit where you need it to, you're like, mm-hmm. And he's like, ah, it's gonna be all right. I'm like, it's a couple.

SPEAKER_04 31:01

Yep, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 31:01

Oh, we're just good.

SPEAKER_01 31:04

This is you know, this is just this two show pass. I that's one of my that's one of my things. I say this two show pass. She's like, Yeah, but when? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 31:14

We need timeline.

SPEAKER_01 31:16

Like, yeah, she's like, I need a deadline. Like in time.

Parenting Strain And Daily Grace

SPEAKER_00 31:24

You are not a well sometimes I'm like, the the event has to equal the emotion. So for me to lose all control, which I will over the smallest thing. It's gotta be something like, okay, it's gotta be something where it's equal to, you know. But her, it's like just we just need to get it all out, you know.

SPEAKER_02 31:48

And then after that, it's like you say poke the balloon or whatever.

SPEAKER_00 31:53

Yeah, we were talking we were talking the other day, and I was I was just she was she was and I know and I know when she's headed in that direction. A lot of times I'm smart enough and calculating enough to be like, okay, I know where we're going. So I'm not gonna well I'm not gonna poke the bear. Like, I know, so it's like I know how to talk to her to to get to the channel. Or you do poke the bear, so but then sometimes, yeah, but then sometimes either I slip up or I realize at some point, yeah, it is like it's just like a balloon filling up, and eventually you just gotta put put a hole in it and pop it and just let it all run out. Because it's speaking, yeah. Because if you don't, it's just gonna get bigger and bigger and bigger, and and she's just gonna keep spiraling, and it's like you might as well just poke it and let it out and let her just have that one big moment, and then we can calm down and get back to reality.

SPEAKER_02 32:57

Which is what happens too, because then I'm just like I start yelling, then I go upstairs and I cry and I lay in bed and I cry, and then later that evening I'll come back down, and I'm just like, I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_00 33:08

The apologies start. Sorry, any time. And reason comes back, you know.

SPEAKER_02 33:15

Reason.

SPEAKER_00 33:16

Yeah, all the reason comes back into this situation, and uh and it's it's like at least 98% of the time it has nothing to do with Nick.

SPEAKER_02 33:26

It's like the kids have done something, or my just my week has just been so much and just the stress of life and just everything. And he knows that. So then he gets me to the point where I'm crying, and then I'm like, I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_00 33:40

He's like, I again I start out like, well, I'm gonna start making sure all the laundry's done, or I'll do the dishes, or I'll it's like I'll start doing the things that she normally does. Like, okay. Yeah, we're gonna just try to ease our way through this, but there's just some times you're like, you know what? I just gotta say that thing that I know I shouldn't say, but it's gonna get this thing. And it's never get this thing going.

SPEAKER_02 34:05

No, he just said something that I'm gonna turn into mean, but it's never mean.

SPEAKER_00 34:09

Just enough to, like I said, just let it out and so we can have the moment and get back to the city.

SPEAKER_01 34:14

Me, it's it's different. If she's if we have like some kind of argument or things are getting heated or whatever, it's never usually me. But because of who I am and my I'm self-conscious and things like that, I always think it's me. And that's when she gets mad, isn't it? She'll come in the house and it'll be like she's had a rough day at school or whatever. Kids would weren't cooperating. Because she has a couple of kids that have learning disabilities and stuff, and they'll they'll be rough, whatever. So she'll come home and she's had a rough day, and so she's a little little gruff. So so she'll she won't tell me what it was, but she'll come in and she'll have her her mood and be like, what'd I do? She's like, Why do you think it's why do you think it's you? I barely came in the house. I didn't even say anything. But you look upset and she's like, I am upset. These kids are like, you know, and I'm like, then it's like, what do you mean? I still have the problem. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 35:32

Well, you can't think it's you because the way I'm the way I go about it is I'm trying to do anything I can or say any anything I can to solve it for her, or to just let her know this isn't so bad. Like, there's no need to stress about a situation like this. So I go through all that, like, you know, trying to land the plane. And most sometimes it's received, sometimes it's not.

SPEAKER_02 36:00

And then day two, I'm still in that same mood.

SPEAKER_00 36:03

I'm still doing those same things. Um you know, now I'm hostage on this hijacked plane that I can't get off of. Well, this is this is this this is what true love's really about, folks.

SPEAKER_01 36:16

This is part of buckle up teams.

SPEAKER_00 36:19

Yeah, I'm hijacked on this plane. I got no parachute, I got I got nothing. I'm not Harrison Ford, so I I can't just jump out, you know.

SPEAKER_01 36:28

Buckle up teams.

SPEAKER_00 36:29

Yeah, it's like we're just gonna have to crash land this plane, is what it comes down to sometimes. We're just gonna have to crash land it. Because I can't we're not doing this again tomorrow, is sometimes what I'm thinking. Yeah, we're not doing this again tomorrow.

SPEAKER_02 36:41

I can't go without sleep again.

SPEAKER_00 36:43

Yeah, I can't go out without sleep again. I'm not coming home to this again. You know, it's like we have to re-establish, you know, like I said, reality. So and and yeah, and that's that's just sometimes how it works. But to make this, yes, nice for Valentine's Day. It always, because we are two believing people, because we are both have a relationship with God, it does always come back to that understanding. You know, yes, I I you know crash land that plane, but we both survive. We both walk out with without a scratch on us, and we can get back to you, we can get back to back to the life, the good life that we have. Yeah. And I forget it, she forgets it. You know, I don't hold it against her because I had a bad weekend because she flipped out. You know, I don't hold it against her when she's the commitment part of it. Yeah. I don't, I don't, you know, now don't get me wrong, it's like I know it's gonna come again. Like and it's the thing, I'll get on that plane with her again.

SPEAKER_04 37:50

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 37:51

You know, I go right back up into the air with her tomorrow. Yep. You know, it's not like I'm like, I'm not getting on this flight this time. You're on your own. No, I get right back on it, we we do what we can do.

SPEAKER_04 38:00

Very smart man.

SPEAKER_01 38:02

And that's the that's the thing about the relationship, is that there is nobody else you would get on that plane with than her. Yeah, and it's the same with me. No, I couldn't sustain that with anybody else. There is absolutely not. There is nobody else that would get on a plane with me in as far as relationships go. I I know that I know that she's my she's my everything. She always calls me her rock, and I'm like more like your sponge or something. I'm your fruity pebble. I'm the soft spongy one. She's the one that's that's the rock. I mean, because but if we look at it, we're the rock for each other's in in the relationship. And and we we lean on God for everything because we we know that we couldn't deal with this little girl we have now. I mean, Elsa is seven, and I'm sixty-four.

SPEAKER_00 39:02

And you have her all the time?

SPEAKER_01 39:04

We have her until she is eighteen.

SPEAKER_00 39:06

Okay. And so But it's every day.

SPEAKER_01 39:08

It's every day. Every day, every day, every night, we get I would say almost no not that we ever want one, Elsa, a break from her. So it it's like if we go to the movies, she's with us. If we do She picks the movie. Nine times out of ten, yeah. Yeah. You know, you can't you can't go to the movie you want to go see and have her with you. So yeah, she's picking it.

SPEAKER_00 39:36

You go somewhere to eat, she's probably picking where you're going to eat. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 39:39

She's fortunately for us, she does like Roadhouse, so she'll go there, she'll eat everything.

SPEAKER_02 39:45

Maggie used to enjoy it now because when she's 14, she will no longer like Roadhouse.

SPEAKER_01 39:51

She's so picky. She is so picky, but she likes Roadhouse, and so but like Connie is Connie's the the glue. And I'd like to think that I'm the glue, but I'm not. I'm I'm more like silly putty. Fun to play with for a while and make silly faces and rub it on the newspaper like we used to, but other than that, I really don't see a purpose for me.

SPEAKER_00 40:26

She'd argue that, but talking about equally yoked, let's get into the Bible just a little bit. So do you have some high-profile, high-powered couples from the Bible that you think are a good example of what we're talking about?

SPEAKER_01 40:48

I have uh several examples actually of who I thought were equally and unequally yoked. There is Adam and Eve, obviously, who were who were for the most part equally yoked. And I like to like to say something about the whole Adam and Eve thing, because a lot of guys that I know are like, oh, if Eve had hadn't eaten the woman didn't eat the fruit. If you read if you read your word, God told Adam about the fruit, not Eve. So and after after it was eaten, he came to Adam. He did not say he didn't come to Eve. That reason being that it was your responsibility. I gave you this woman as a helpmate. You were you were the head of her. And so in my mind, Adam's the one that was at fault in that whole thing. But not trying to play not trying to play a blame game. What are you doing?

SPEAKER_02 42:03

I'm like, that's right, Dale.

SPEAKER_00 42:05

What are you doing?

SPEAKER_02 42:07

Not trying to play a blame game.

SPEAKER_00 42:09

Sorry, folks, I'm gonna have to delete this episode.

SPEAKER_01 42:11

This episode will not air. Yeah. But uh uh another not really couple, but they they did as far as I'm concerned, they were in a relationship as Samson and Delilah. They were they were a couple to his detriment. And I I just think that he was so full of himself that he didn't recognize who he had, who who was with him. If he had been truly with God and truly, you know, serving God as he should have been, it would have been revealed to him and he would have there would have been a different situation.

SPEAKER_00 42:57

He'd have kept his hair. Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 42:59

He lost his head over that. So so no.

SPEAKER_00 43:02

But uh Yeah, uh there's them and then there's who's the shining example? Do we got like one that are just that equally and just were both committed and you would have to say Joseph and Mary. But I was thinking, okay, that's the obvious one.

The Power Of Handwritten Love

SPEAKER_01 43:28

Well, yeah, I was I was trying to think of like and and kudos to Joseph, I mean Well for having I looked I looked at the face. Yeah, I looked at that situation I situation. I looked at that and when Mary told him that she was pregnant, the Bible says that because he was a good man and he didn't want to put her out in front of all these people for ridicule or whatever, he was gonna shut her away. He was just gonna, you know, okay, you do whatever. It wasn't until an angel came to him and said, Look, she's having a a baby by the Holy Ghost. You can take her out in public and do all and and be the couple you're supposed to be. But that to me has to be the shining the shining example of a couple because that's a that's a lot. I don't care if an angel comes to me or not and and m my wife says, I'm about to have a baby by the Lord. I'm like I've said it to you before. I look at the Bible and I take the Bible as what would I do if I were if I were there, if I were living that out. And I'm like Okay, Mary, sure. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 44:58

You know, like well, that would be a hard go for anybody.

SPEAKER_01 45:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 45:01

Even with the faith. Even if you had faith and all that.

SPEAKER_01 45:04

That's that's still. I think it's an understatement to call him a good man. Because in that situation, he's he's a little bit in my mind, a little bit beyond a good man. Because I'm like, I don't know. I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 45:18

Yeah, it just well, immaculate conception. I mean, we all understand it because we understand the Bible.

SPEAKER_01 45:26

Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 45:27

But yeah, at that time and place?

SPEAKER_01 45:30

Nope. He's like, okay, you say so, but he was trusting in her, and that's why I considered him a shining example, is because he took what she said as true. He loved he loved her so much that like, if you're saying this to me, then that has to be a way it the way it is. But I don't want anybody else saying, you know, well, she was probably with so and so, or probably with that person. So I I'm probably gonna shut you away until you have your baby. And it wasn't until the angel came that he said, Oh, okay, I can take you out and about. And I'm sure when he when he did take her out and about as they, you know, traveled back to their hometown, that they had a lot of ridiculo ridicule. It's like that's your baby, Joseph, and he's an honest guy. And he was like, uh pregnant by the Lord. You know so so there's nobody knows uh the adversity either one of them faced. And for them to do what they did and bring the savior of the world into our life to to do what he did for us. Not sure what that is. Someone's breaking it. But to do what he did for us, they they would have to be special. You can't you couldn't just lay that on anybody. You couldn't you couldn't just come to like Judas' girlfriend and say, hey, I'm gonna impregnate. You just couldn't do it. So for they are to cut it short, to me anyway, the shining example. But there are a few, a few others that that aren't coming to mind right now.

SPEAKER_00 47:29

But yeah, I was trying to think of one that was really but maybe there is a Abraham and Abraham and Sarah? Yes. I mean, they definitely had their obviously, they had their problems, yeah, setbacks. You know, she couldn't have a child. You and I discussed this just a few weeks ago. So, you know, she had her servant be the midwife, have the baby.

SPEAKER_01 47:55

Yeah, I sort of say that. Oh, it was you and me. Yeah, you and my that's right. I'm looking at him like I'm for the sure. Yeah, because I I enjoyed that one because you were talking about as a woman, and that you would how you would feel about you know certain things. Yeah. And I know how Connie struggled to have children. And so when she was able to have kids, it was the greatest thing in her life. And so to have somebody else doing that or in the house taking up that role. Uh yeah, I was that's I was I was really uh locked in on that one because I was like, oh, I'm I know what that one's all about. But yeah, that was her. No, yeah, that was me. Sorry. You're getting you're getting old, the episodes they do.

SPEAKER_00 48:50

They start to all just blend it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 48:53

We're rookies at this, but so I get it.

SPEAKER_00 48:57

Yeah. Yeah, I'm not as sharp at uh seven o'clock as I am 7 a.m.

SPEAKER_01 49:05

Right. No one is. And if they say they are, they're lying.

SPEAKER_00 49:11

So do you have examples or like I said, I was trying to think of one, I really wanted to find one that was like without a doubt, just very strong, but none would come to mind. And I I was gonna cheat and Google it, and I thought, no, I'm not gonna do that. So I didn't do that. So no, I mean, because that was a very complicated time for for man and woman, especially when you get into all the kings and how they handled marriage, you know, and the concubines and all that kind of thing, and you're like, how did how did you ever have a good relationship with a woman in that scenario? So yeah, you almost have to look to Mary and Joseph.

SPEAKER_01 50:06

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_00 50:09

And I do think the Adam and Eve one is an interesting one.

SPEAKER_01 50:12

Ruth and Boaz, I think. But yeah, I I just I really think just based on what came from their relationship and all those things leading up to it, they you would almost have to say that they are the definitive power couple.

SPEAKER_00 50:37

Well, you know what? It's okay. We're allowed to give our audience homework. So that's your homework for this week, folks, is dive into the Bible. If you and your wife don't have anything to do for Valentine's Day, guess what? Get your Bibles out and try to get in there and find a good romantic story of a man and woman in the Bible that really had had a got it together and have a good story.

SPEAKER_01 51:04

Yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 51:05

Right? Yep. I'm allowed to do that.

Final Takeaways And Prayer

SPEAKER_01 51:07

Okay, I think that's a good choice. I mean everything else has been done. Flowers, that's true, candy, all it all that stuff's been done. How many times you sit there with your with your significant other and just try and find a loving couple in the Bible and say, That's us. That that that that would be us. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 51:29

You know, just see Dale, we're romantic guys. We can't be accused of eh. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 51:36

That's right. You are very romantic, man. You are, yes. I always get flowers and chocolates and a card, and he usually writes a paragraph. I can't give her flowers.

SPEAKER_00 51:47

Handwritten notes, Dale. Handwritten notes.

SPEAKER_02 51:49

Oh, I do that all the time. Yeah, he does not. That's key. Yeah, and I I've told so many people, I'm like, that's what matters right there. Things like that.

SPEAKER_01 51:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 51:57

Yeah. And as far as flowers go, because you're starting to say he shouldn't get me flowers, we have cats, and they will not leave those flowers alone. So I don't want flowers anymore.

SPEAKER_01 52:06

She doesn't want flowers. She wants flowers, but she knows they'll die. So if I don't get her flowers, it's no big deal. Yeah. I usually get hers either something she can wear or something she'll use, like$50 Starbucks gift card or something like that. But usually I always have something some sentiment that I've written to her.

SPEAKER_00 52:32

You're doing you got it easier than me because no clothes, no jewelry. She doesn't like to shop, so a gift card to I don't know. I was gonna say Sears. It wouldn't do you any good anyway.

SPEAKER_02 52:50

So well. You get me chocolates every year. I do like the chocolates.

SPEAKER_00 52:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 52:57

I prefer the card. That's it. And you don't always do that. You've you've slacked a little bit over the years.

SPEAKER_00 53:04

Well, last year she told me not to spend any money.

SPEAKER_02 53:07

I still want the card, though. Mix signals.

SPEAKER_00 53:11

Dale mixed signals.

SPEAKER_01 53:12

Card to dollar neck that's not spending anymore.

SPEAKER_02 53:15

Not his cards. He never goes to like the Dollar Tree. He goes to Right Aid or a pharmacy where there's seven, ten dollars. I don't even read the card. I just read what he writes. He can get a 50 cent card.

SPEAKER_00 53:27

I just feel like it's wrong. Yeah. Something wrong about that. I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 53:31

What's right about spending seven bucks?

SPEAKER_00 53:34

I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 53:35

I'm like, you can see you can do so much with that other six dollars. I'm not understanding that.

SPEAKER_02 53:44

He doesn't care.

SPEAKER_01 53:45

Yeah, I like it.

SPEAKER_00 53:46

I like the ones that have like the plastic sleeve.

SPEAKER_02 53:49

He does.

SPEAKER_00 53:50

You know, what's what's that? Four. I don't know. But I just that's that's four dollars extract. It just tells me you're that yeah, that's four dollars extra. Yeah, that's that I just to me it just says, you know, I just I just didn't, you know, pick one out. Like I really thought about it.

SPEAKER_02 54:04

So but I just kind of go over what the card says and then I just crave and go to what you say.

SPEAKER_00 54:09

Oh, cheeks.

unknown 54:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 54:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 54:11

So well, you know, my dad, he would he'd get the card and he would just underline the words that were already written there. You've probably seen people do that where they'll just underline. Yeah, I do that sometimes with like birthday cards and stuff. Yeah. Sign it and it's like, oh yeah. My mom taught me that a good letter to somebody, good handwritten letter to somebody can mean more than anything else. And she wrote me letters all the time. All the time. And I still have quite a few of them. Even if even she would hand it to me when I would go visit her, so she could tell me everything was in the letter, but she really felt like a handwritten letter was like a key to a good deep relationship with somebody. And I believe that. I I I do.

SPEAKER_01 54:55

I think that well, you guys know whenever we have our like Christmas card thing, that I always always write something in the card. I write something for each and each and every person that's that's for me because this is it it's gonna sound mushy, but this is this is my family as much as any any family I have outside of this church. Because I would do anything for anybody in this in this church. So I think it's important if you love somebody and you really care about you just give them a card. I mean I I appreciate that. I don't care whether it's whether you've written anything on it or not, but to me, my mom was always like, if you care about me and put something in there. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 55:49

And for me, it's so valuable that I can still look at my mom's handwriting. Yep. Oh yeah. Yeah, that's all that makes all the difference because it's part of her. That's that's her. Yeah, you can't duplicate that.

SPEAKER_01 55:59

That's like I'm jealous of my brother Bill. He has a audio tape of my mom's voice on it, and he's uh he's the only one who has it. I'm like I'm so jealous.

SPEAKER_00 56:11

But you know, me being a history guy, if you look at the Declaration of Independence, you look at the Gettysburg Address, they're handwritten out on those people's you know, signatures and Lincoln's own handwriting. Think what if it was typed out? What if it was just an email? Would it have the same effect? I don't think so.

SPEAKER_01 56:27

Oh, absolutely not. No, absolutely not. Because it's then it's just it's cold because it it comes to life because like you see everybody's signatures on there, and then all of a sudden you see John Hancock. I want everyone to know that I'm against this or or I'm I'm willing to sign my name to the thing.

SPEAKER_00 56:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 56:50

It's like you are not gonna miss that I've signed this. Yeah. He's like, it's that important. Yeah. So it it it brings a life to it. So and I think that's a lot of kids don't understand about writing and and the importance of writing sometimes, because just going out and getting getting a little thing here or a little thing there, it doesn't have the same flavor as when you do something that's from your heart like that. You if you it I'm not saying don't get them, you know, don't bring mom and dad flowers or whatever, but nothing wrong with putting a little note in there that says, I love you and this is why. And just add that touch because it means a lot because time passes and those things start to have more value than that flower that wilts.

SPEAKER_00 57:47

And you know what? That's a good that's good advice for the gentleman listening for Valentine's Day. You want to do it right, you know, get out a piece of paper and a pen and actually write something down. Yep. Put it in the card. But also I would say I think that if a woman would do it, if she's and well, my mom loved to do this to my dad too. But I think sometimes if a woman would take the time to actually not just tell her man her feelings and why she's either frustrated or why she loves him, I think if she would take the time to handwrite it out, I think it would have a different effect on a man's response to her rather than getting lectured or just being told, or I think it would go a long way. Some you know, feelings that aren't being expressed, and I think that could help.

SPEAKER_02 58:43

Okay, I'll start writing them out for you. Okay, I'll be waiting. Is that what you're saying? No, not at all. Is that what you're saying if I'm upset? Do you want it to be a little bit more? Talking to the audience.

SPEAKER_00 58:52

I'm not talking to you.

SPEAKER_02 58:53

I got you. Trying to help. Just wait here in the next couple of weeks. You're gonna get yourself a paragraph. That's that's that'd be wonderful. I'll be waiting.

SPEAKER_00 59:01

Can you mail it?

SPEAKER_02 59:05

Like a Tina tight all of a sudden.

SPEAKER_00 59:08

I it just came to be because it's because it's always the man that's expected to do those kind of romantic things. But I think sometimes we have to think about well, maybe the the man's not feeling loved or feeling like he's important. I think if he saw that his woman took the time to actually write it out, that might that might help her get the man, you know, more invested in the things that I have seen people before. I'm not we're not talking about you.

SPEAKER_01 59:39

He's he's in therapy.

SPEAKER_00 59:40

I'm trying to I'm talking to all seven of our listeners, okay? Yeah, now they're all thinking, I don't know, that's such a good idea.

SPEAKER_02 59:52

Jeez. It's like, well, I seem to be working for him. Well, as far as like everything we go, I I definitely do tell you everything.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:01

Oh, yes. Yeah, there's no problem.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:03

If you want it on paper, I can put it on the paper for you. But I do. He, poor guy. Poor guy. Oh my he knows exactly how I'm feeling when I'm feeling it.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:15

Yeah, you don't seem like the kind of person that holds. I told you. George's honest to goodness, like mirror images, sisters under sisters in the spirit or something.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:34

All right, well, we gotta go. Is that time? Any more last thoughts, advice? Margie's smart remarks.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:45

I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:48

I think if we can bring it back to love being whether love is emotion or commitment, that no matter what you're doing or how you feel about love on on Valentine's Day or any day, God should be first. If you put God at the head of your relationship, everything else, everything else is love. I mean, even even the hard stuff, even the hard situation, it's all love. Because he's gonna pull you through it and and you have so so much more peace in your relationship if he is at the head of it, because if you're in a relationship and it's just you and your significant other, and there's and God isn't in it.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:43

He's gotta be your co-pilot on that hijacked plane going down. He's gotta be your co-pilot.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:49

So much rougher. Yeah. So I guess I guess what I'm trying to say, no matter no matter what plane you're flying, make sure God is in the cockpit. Yeah, he's gotta be in there.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:02

Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:04

Uh-huh. All right, I'll go ahead and pray us out tonight. Lord, thank you for bringing all three of us together tonight. Uh, this is a topic that uh we've had a lot of fun with, but also a lot of enjoyment. Uh we've able just been able to express um how we should not only show our love for you, but how we should in any relationship that we have with our loved ones, um, that we keep you at the center of it. And we know that is the true best way uh for relationships to thrive, for a man and woman um to go through life uh with peace, with understanding, with guidance, um, just always having you at the helm. Um, and we just pray that uh we will always keep that in mind, and no matter what situations we're facing, uh as man and wife, that we face them together, and that we face them with you at the forefront. Um I pray we'll have traveling mercies tonight. I pray all these things in your precious name. Amen.