Life Through a Queer Lens
Welcome to the Life Through a Queer Lens Podcast, where anyone with an open mind and heart can learn about the LGBTQIA+ Community from the people within it! We're your hosts, Jenene (she/her, they/them) and Kit (they/them).
Life Through a Queer Lens
EP61: Bold Visibility and Smart Self-Defense Strategies
Discover how to express your pride boldly while staying safe in environments that might not always be welcoming. In this episode, we promise you’ll learn creative strategies like designing personalized battle vests and jackets that let you showcase your identity with pride, yet smartly—by placing symbols where you can keep an eye on reactions. Revisit the original pride symbols like the Gilbert Baker rainbow flag with us, as we advocate against their commercialization. We also dive into the rich tapestry of LGBTQ+ history through "The Book of Pride" by Mason Funk, offering insights from the voices of activists and elders who paved the way.
Equipped with the right knowledge, you can prepare yourself for self-defense, especially during protest seasons. We explore the vital balance of physical and mental capabilities, recommending accessible resources like YouTube for learning effective techniques. For marginalized communities, including BIPOC and trans individuals, we discuss the serious consideration of gun ownership for protection, emphasizing the need for rigorous training and safety measures. Our personal anecdotes offer guidance on self-defense tactics specifically tailored for smaller individuals, highlighting key areas like the nose and windpipe to effectively disable potential threats.
Everyday objects can be transformed into tools of empowerment when needed for self-defense. We focus on practical and legal aspects of carrying items like pepper spray and tactical pens. Our conversation underscores the importance of mental preparation and staying ready to react swiftly and confidently. But it’s not just about self-preservation; safety thrives on community involvement. We emphasize the enrichment that comes from engaging in communal activities—whether it’s volunteering at food pantries or participating in mutual aid projects. Our stories reveal the joy and fulfillment found in being an active part of your community, reminding you that together, we can create safer and more supportive spaces for all.
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pepper spray keys between the fingers, keychains that act as brass knuckles visualizing a safe outcome the tactical pet straps from purses. Long socks long range swinging weaponry nunchucks visualizing a safe outcome the aluminum water bottles spiked chokers.
Speaker 1:So the name of this episode is Stay Loud and Stay Safe, and we're going to be exploring the balance between showing your pride and also protecting yourself in what is now an increasingly hostile environment, or what could be increasingly hostile environment situationally. And we're just going to be vibing about how you can stand tall in your community, just better navigate the world in today's climate as your authentic self and I don't know, arming ourselves with more knowledge and courage and solidarity. Anything else you want to add to?
Speaker 2:that. No, I think that's perfect. Honestly, I think we just jump right in. So, first things first, we're going to talk about building your battle vests. If you just know me at all ever, or have seen any of our social medias, you'll notice frequently I'm wearing jackets, vests and things of that nature that are known in the punk community as battle vests or battle pants or battle jackets whatever. Or battle pants or battle jackets whatever. Don't buy them, make your own. Thrift yourself a vest, thrift yourself a jacket, thrift yourself a pair of pants, and then diy. And that's the way to do it. I promise you you will have so much love for what you've created, more so than if you had just gotten it from timu or amazon or some bullshit, where it was most likely made through the torture of young children. So if you want help making yours, janine, you literally let me know. I have made so many for so many different people.
Speaker 1:I'm actually a little sneak preview, I plan on.
Speaker 2:I got you. I plan on making. I have a denim jacket that I plan on turning into and I saw the TV flow themed jacket. I'm going to paint a TV on the back, I'm going to make little dials and stuff like that. So, yeah, stay tuned for that. I'll probably post it on our socials as my own personal one. So stay tuned for that. I'm really excited about that battle jacket actually.
Speaker 1:That sounds so cool, sounds lit. I like this idea of strategic visibility, where you strategically place your patches on the front or on the inside of the chest or shoulder, because it helps prevent attacks from behind, but it also can be eye level during conversations, so people know that you're an ally and it can help you, you know, actually strike up more conversations, but in a safe way know, actually strike up more conversations, but in a safe way.
Speaker 2:That is the biggest safety tip that if there is one thing you guys walk away from this episode with, let it be this Do not put your pins, your patches, your stickers, your anything like that has to do with your identity, your political affiliation, your marginalization, anything like that on the back of your battle jackets or vests or pants. Make sure that anything like that is kept on the front of your battle jackets, vests, pants, whatever. Keep it on the front. And the reason for that is because you want to be able to see how people are reacting to what you are wearing. You want to be able to gauge a physical reaction from them.
Speaker 2:That's the first big one. Another thing is, if you're looking at the person, they are much less likely to do anything but give you a dirty look. They are much less likely to do anything but give you a dirty look Like people are a lot ballsier behind a screen or from behind you than they are face to face. So most likely they're just going to give you a dirty look if they can see that you see them seeing you.
Speaker 1:You can choose to wear more subtle pins. Instead of wearing the rainbow flag, let's say you know that could attract more discrimination Maybe wearing something like the act up pin, where you know what it stands for the pink triangle. Yeah, maybe that particular thing isn't recognizable by everyone.
Speaker 2:Absolutely, and the pink triangle in general is something that I would recommend queers begin embracing in this new age. Yes, because at this point I hate to say it the rainbow flag has been cast. It has been commodified. It has been. If you would like to do a rainbow flag, please be my guest, maybe go back to the bill baker one, the og, og or you know the poor. You can even use the progress progress flag that includes the intersex flag, because not enough people use the progress flag that includes the intersex flag in the triangle. That's another good option, but try to stay away from just like plain, like rainbow flag that has, I hate to say it, become commercialized, commodified, capitalized. Has, I hate to say it, become commercialized, commodified, capitalized? Go back to the original Gilbert Baker's pride flag is still out there. I don't think he has passed away. Hold on one second. He passed away in 2017, unfortunately.
Speaker 1:Damn.
Speaker 2:But he has a website called GilbertBakercom that is the home of the Gilbert Baker Foundation. That allows you to donate to them. They have the flags that he was involved with designing. But yeah, going back to our roots is going to be very important right now and we're hoping to give you guys a bit of info on how to do that.
Speaker 2:I also recently, on our socials, I recommended to everyone the Book of Pride by I believe his name is mason funk mason funk and it, yeah, mason funk is the name of the author and the book is the book of pride lgbtq heroes who changed the world and it is interviews with lgbtq plus elders and activists before they pass away it sounds phenomenal, like a phenomenal read yeah, for of them, it's the last interviews they've ever given. For some, it's the first interviews they've ever given, you know.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's gotta be like it's. It's a really, really cool book. I heavily recommend everyone get it and give it a read. It has been extraordinarily eyeopening for me personally. But, yeah, keep your shit on the front. Keep your shit on the. But yeah, keep your shit on the front. Keep your shit on the front, keep your shit on the front. The only thing I have on the back of my vest is I painted. Do no harm, take no shit love it that's not political, that's not anything.
Speaker 2:I have had old ladies come up to me, grab my shoulder and be like I love that so much, janine, you've seen it.
Speaker 1:I've been witness to it yeah, uh, that was the perfect interaction. Oh yeah, it's great.
Speaker 2:Literally lives in my brain, right, yeah, you made me so I needed that that day that joy made me so happy.
Speaker 1:It made me so happy for you it was perfect.
Speaker 2:It was perfect, but yeah, so just keep your pride stuff on the front. On this personal jacket, the only pride thing I have is this pin with the Agender pride flag. This is not a girl. I have another vest, though, that has the pink triangle. It has a pronoun pin.
Speaker 2:It has my little neon binary where it says instead of saying non-binary, it says neon, neon cat, because I'm a nerd, so it's neon and then, uh, I have a pin that says fag on that one too, but all of them are on the front, to the point where I used to have a pink triangle on the back of that vest and I took it off and put a smaller one on the front instead. You do what you have to do to stay safe. I know it sucks. I hated removing that pink triangle. I have it sitting over here and I'm trying to figure out what to do with it because I hated having to take it off.
Speaker 2:But you do what you have to do to stay safe. So, even on your backpacks, try to keep your pride pins off your backpacks. Try to keep the pins on your backpacks to more nerdy things that you're a fan of cutesy things, spooky things, whatever it is. But try to keep the pride pins, the political pins, the marginalized identity pins, off of your backpack, off of your back. Keep them on the front. Or even if you have a messenger bag, that's okay, because your messenger bag can kind of be like tucked near your front, near your side, but don't put those pins on it and then put it on your back. There is no them getting you from behind and then suddenly they've walloped you on the back of the head and you're on the ground before you even knew someone had a problem to begin with. Just keep yourself safe, keep your shit on the front leaves for the love of god.
Speaker 2:Yes, make use of modern flagging and coding. Like there is still time from. I saw the tv glow for trans people, roses, different flower codes, violets for sapphics uh, carnations for achillean. Roses for queer, trans, non-binary people uh. Go back to queer flagging. Go back to the hanky coat, even go back to the hanky coat. Go back to wearing a carabiner. Go back to these things. Trust these things, you know. Don't. Don't trust them all the time. Because, my god, the amount of straight bitches I have seen wearing jorts and a carabiner and then getting mad when they get hit on by other woman like I'm sorry, bitch, I saw gay. I said gay, what did you? What you think was gonna happen? Yeah, yeah, you weren't doing every sapphic flagging that exists under the fucking sun stop clutching on our codes, right?
Speaker 1:yeah, you can also use green bandanas around your wrist. That is a subtle signal that you're in solid area with abolitionist movements, without being super overly. What's the word I'm looking for?
Speaker 2:like conspicuous our interesting fact today is another little piece of punk flagging history that you all can do today. You can actively start implementing this in your life tomorrow. All you need are shoelaces and boots. I got you.
Speaker 1:You can wear pins with purple, pink and blue hues, which basically they quietly show bisexual pride. It's another idea. And then I like this idea too of customization for inclusion, where, so say, if you have a pride patch, you can use indigenous beadwork around it.
Speaker 1:And it's like an additional layer of representation, right? So it's like combining parts of different marginalized groups, you know. So it's like we talked about intersectionality in a previous episode, where you have the disabled community, you have BIPOC people, etc. And you have queers that intersect all of those other communities. So if you can somehow incorporate for inclusion, that's.
Speaker 2:No, absolutely. Just be careful with the beating that you are using. Make sure you're doing your research and make sure that you are not incorporating any closed practices into what you are doing Like, for example, stay away from white sage. White sage is a closed practice. Native Americans have been begging us to leave it the fuck alone because it's a closed practice. Alone because it's a closed practice. There are other types of sage. There are other things that are used for protection, such as cinnamon, such as dragon's blood, such as lavender even can be used for protection. Coffee can be used for protection under certain circumstances. Salt, crushed eggshells like bitches. There are other things besides white sage. Walk the fuck away, put it down. Yep, agreed, but yeah, so just make sure you are doing things in a way where it is intersectional and not appropriation. Make sure you are researching and make sure you are not inviting yourself into a practice that has not invited you in.
Speaker 1:I was thinking about this other thing Labries, lesbian symbols. Oh yes, I forgot about that, I just looked it up because I couldn't remember the word for it.
Speaker 1:I don't. I never know how to pronounce it. Yeah, it's l-a-b-r-y. I couldn't even remember the word shut up, yeah, it says often associated with female goddesses and later adopted by the lesbian community as a symbol of strength and empowerment, due to its connection with the Amazons and mythology. Essentially, it's a symbolic representation of a double-bitted axe from ancient Creta. It's great, I never saw one. That's pretty freaking cool. And the other thing that I just remembered was violets. Do you mention that one already? Yes, okay cool.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mentioned flowers, also lavenders as well, any of those like light purple flowers, but specifically violets. But yeah, if you all are interested in learning anything deeper about the history of queer flagging and queer coding and any other queer flaggings or queer codings that we did not mention in today's episode, you can go all the way back to episode 21 of this exact podcast and find an episode all about queer coding and queer flagging. So please go check that out after this one if you're interested. And we're going to move in to self-defense.
Speaker 1:Got to keep yourself safe.
Speaker 2:Indeed, this is going to be the most basic overview of how to keep yourself safe. We would encourage each and every one of you to look up some youtube tutorials and, in whatever ways you are physically, mentally and financially capable of, as they say get ready for protest season. You know, however, you can get yourself ready if it's going to the gym more regularly, if it's just in between commercials doing a couple sit-ups, if it's going for more walks around the neighborhood lifting one to five pound weights, whatever it is you're capable of doing. Start doing some stuff to get yourself into a little bit better ability for things like running, fighting. Understand your own capabilities.
Speaker 2:If you don't have the money to go to a gym and learn how to fight from someone there, you know what I mean Like how they have gym, like boxing gyms and stuff like that If you don't have the money to do something like that. Youtube tutorials there are so many YouTube tutorials that will walk you through, step by step, how to do something like this, and they are from reputable people. Just do your research. Make sure you're not just going to some dickhead in his garage. That's like I'm going to teach you how to fight. Make sure that the person that you're watching is like hey.
Speaker 2:I am this in this defense arts. I am this in this defense arts. I am this in this defense arts. I have this credential Make sure they're well taught. If you will, and don't push yourself, that's the big thing. If you do not feel like you are capable of getting yourself ready for protest season, as I put it, that's okay. We still have open arms for you. There's help needed on every front. You know what I mean. I'm 4'11". How helpful do you think I am during protest season? Tell me.
Speaker 1:There we go.
Speaker 2:I could be swift, but I'm not lugging people out of a situation. I'm not you know what I mean Like there's only so much I can do. But I'm good at disseminating information. I'm good at getting into small places quickly, handing someone something, getting the fuck out. Find the thing you're good at, because I promise you there is. Everyone is necessary, everyone is welcome, everyone is loved. If you feel like you are able to do some stuff, get yourself a little ready for protest season. If you get what I'm saying.
Speaker 1:Everyone is needed too. Everyone's help is needed, yes 100%.
Speaker 2:This is my first piece of advice. Someone probably people aren't going to like it, but tough shit If you feel physically, mentally. Mentally is an important one. I do live in an area or environment where this is something that is feasible and safe to do. Get a gun. I'm so serious, especially my BIPOC trans femmes. This is coming from someone who for my entire life I've said I will never, never own a gun. I plan on asking my parents to possibly help me get an easy to fire gun.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we were just talking about the same thing Taking courses down at the range and just getting a carry license, Not to condone violence but to use as a method of self-defense, just to be clear on that.
Speaker 2:But it doesn't hurt to have a skill set in marksmanship I heavily recommend my queer and trans siblings get themselves a gun.
Speaker 2:As a wise man once sang if you're black, brown or trans, get a gun and learn how to safely operate it yes, all of the techniques that we are going to be sharing today are techniques that I have learned personally as someone who is 4'11" and, as I've mentioned, and frequently cannot use the use their body weight against them forms of self-defense, like me, and you see a lot of videos where one of the major ways of self defense that they're teaching you is using their body weight against them. And you're looking at yourself and you're looking at a possible opponent and you're going I don't know about that, chief, I'm like, let me help you with that Cause same. And my stepdad thankfully recognized when I was young that I was probably going to be small and I was going to stay small and that would put me at risk. So he taught me what to do. So today I'm going to give y'all a little lesson that he gave me. So some basic self-defense.
Speaker 2:The nose and the ears are the easiest things to tear off a human face. So, just so you guys know, if you're being grabbed nose and ears, they rip like tissue paper. If you're trying hard enough, you can just rip a man's nose clean off his face, okay. Um, rip a man's nose clean off his face Okay. One good slam to the windpipe will drop someone Just like fist closed, even like ball of hand. One good slam right here. They will hit the ground because they're shaky. They can't fucking breathe. You've collapsed their windpipe. If you cup your hands like this and you hit them over someone's ears, it blows their eardrums out. They can't hear nothing but ringing Again. They will drop.
Speaker 2:Many who have been stopped while committing horrible acts have said that the only reason they stopped was due to risk of physical disfigurement. We are not fucking around people. Take the ball of your hand right here on the bottom of your hand. When you look at your hand and you look at, like the part that connects to your thumb, that real thick, meaty part, that's the ball of your hand. You take that right. You slam it into their nose. From an upward angle it's better if they're taller than you you slam it into their nose. So all that cartilage, all that sinus shit just is jammed right back up into them. Take their eyeballs If you have acrylics, get their DNA under your fingernails.
Speaker 2:Under your fingernails.
Speaker 2:Dig your nails in Like you're going for gold in his spine, like you are trying to carve the rib that he owes you out of his body.
Speaker 2:Dig your nails in Rage and then once you got him like held there, once he is firm in place and he fears for his life, you make him fear for it more by again, either taking the ball of your hand and jamming it into his nose, right, right, that spot, right there jams all that cartilage back up in, can't breathe right. Or if you've got my acrylics, my acrylics ladies, out there, you take your fucking dagger nails and you do one of those like really sharp, firm piece symbols, but curved a little bit, you know. So your fingers are kind of like rock solid and there and you go for the eyes and you just start fucking jamming. You go back and forth, reel your hand back, go back in. Reel your hand back, go back in. You don't want them to get the chance to grab your wrist, so you don't want to leave your hands there. You want to quick jabbing motions into their eye sockets.
Speaker 1:Going to be hard to come back from that one.
Speaker 2:Listen, I ain't fucking around, do not hesitate, like the moment. That's a big part of this, the literal, actual second. You have a firm hold of their hand over whatever part of you they are holding you just start going.
Speaker 1:Hesitating can make the difference between you getting a hold of an abuser or them getting a hold of you. So do not hesitate.
Speaker 2:Don't hesitate. Whatever it wants. Your hand is over there. It's either boom, boom or just right to the again. This area, right here, right in this center column, this is the windpipe. If you hit this, strong enough, firm enough, straight on, it will collapse. It just will. It cannot take a lot of force. That's why all my kinky bitches in bed when you're being choked, that's why they squeeze around the sides, because if you squeeze in the front they'll kill you. When you're being choked in bed, you're not actually being choked. They're cutting off blood flow. They're just squeezing the arteries in your neck, but you're not actually losing too much oxygen. You know you shouldn't feel too much pressure in this column, because that's when it gets dangerous.
Speaker 2:This column, that's where you want to aim if you are being attacked. You want to aim if you are being attacked If you are grabbed by the wrist. This is a big one, especially for my tiny hand. Girlies or guys, because me, in a nutshell, I can fit my thumb touching my pinky around my wrist. If you do it right, it will work. It does not matter how much bigger than your wrist, their hand is. You feel me. So what you're going to do is, if they're grabbing. You twist your wrist until the small part of your wrist is at the open part of their fingers. So where your wrist is the tiniest is where their fingers are closing around your wrist and you just yank down, you just rip in that direction, you absolutely yike your arm in that direction and it will come free of their grip. Because that's tension point. You are playing with physics at that point it is the tension mark of the connection is at its weakest and the escape point is at its thinnest. All you got to do is rip into it. It might hurt, but none of this is going to be pleasant and also just acting crazy. Listen, if you are in a situation where it's starting to get unsafe and you don't know what's going to happen next and there is no one around who can help you, is willing to help you, or you're just alone with this person, be nuts, start screaming, start ripping at things, start running at them. Just be crazy. No one likes crazy, no one wants to mess with crazy and I understand this might come across as a little like anti-mental health and it's not exactly the most pleasant PC quote, unquote thing. But like I'm telling you, if it's life or death, act fucking crazy. Just start giggling, just in the dark alone, just you laughing under a streetlight. I don't know if he wants to play with his soul like that. He thinks he's the scariest thing. When now, suddenly you're laughing, what? Do you know that he doesn't? Do you have a night? Do you have? You want to come and find out? Be crazy.
Speaker 2:So if you're my size, basically what you're supposed to do is, if you're grabbed from behind, you put one leg behind the other and you get a firm stance and you grab a hold of their arms and then you just throw yourself forward and they topple over you and in theory, it doesn't matter how much smaller than them you are. In theory, it will work right. However, I have fucked up joints and I have tried things like that in different fighting classes to see if this worked, kind of situations. And every single time, halfway through, all of a sudden, my body is just like I can't do it. I almost hit the ground. So if you are like me and that is just not something that you feel like you are capable of doing, what you're going to want to do is hit the ground, like when you're told make yourself heavy, go down. That's what you're going to want to do. Make yourself heavy, go down. And then, if they are AMAB, you know, if they have peen, wallop it, just fucking uppercut back punch. Just start in the lower stomach, lower stomach, groin gut area. Even if they're afab, that's gonna hurt. Just start nailing them in the lower area and then try to screw yourself away at the same time, kind of like I said this is not, this is not something you're going to learn in a self-defense class. This is just shit that I've picked up from being small and being unable to do the over thing.
Speaker 2:The throat is your best friend. My stepdad always used to say balls and throat, or just throat, depending on who you're going against. Throat, yeah. So there are plenty of tried and true things like pepper spray, keys between the fingers, key chains that act as brass knuckles.
Speaker 2:I've also heard of something called the tactical pen, which is the first self-defense item I've ever heard be TSA approved. But because it is also a functioning pen, it's considered a writing utensil and not a self-defense tool. I would take that with a grain of salt, but according to the website, it is TSA approved and it's called the Tactical Pen. I have heard a good amount of people say they really enjoy it, that it works for what it is intended to and it's a good pen. I recommend finding one that works best for your price range and lifestyle. I've been trained in things like nunchucks and bo staff and stuff like that, so I am pretty decent with long range, if you will, swinging weaponry. If you are not decent with long range swinging weaponry, I would recommend getting a pair of like foam nunchucks and practicing a little bit before you get something like this. But I got a big-ass bike lock tied to, we'll say, a scarf. It's literally just a piece of scrap fabric from an old project, but if the cops ask it's a scarf.
Speaker 1:It's an improvised weapon, or it could be.
Speaker 2:Exactly. I can just take it apart and no officer. It's just a scarf and a bike lock. All you have to do is take it apart and no one needs to know. I carry it with me pretty consistently and it is much longer range than any of the knives I have at this point and it is also more legal to bring with me than any of the knives I have, because I have a hunting knife and I have a butterfly knife, and a butterfly knife is not legal to carry with you in most states. So this is a good option, you feel me. All you have to do is take it apart and no one needs to know.
Speaker 2:But if you need it, it it works. This is like three pounds. You don't want this connecting to your head. And again, imagine you find me alone in the dark and you think, ooh, that looks like a good victim, because, I mean, I'm autistic, I usually do look like a good victim, anyway. And then I suddenly start cackling maniacally and I pull this out of my bag. What do you do? Do you A keep coming toward me and fuck around and find out, or, b run away?
Speaker 1:Yeah, you have a deterrent.
Speaker 2:It's exactly like. Visually, this deters people.
Speaker 1:You don't want to fuck around and find out with a three pound metal bike no-transcript, what you have that you could potentially use should you find yourself in that situation.
Speaker 1:Also, another thing I was thinking about is maybe doing a little bit of this is a little bit less practical usage. Like Kit, you were talking about what to do if you get attacked or if you're being approached by someone. I think also thinking about doing a little bit of mental preparation, mindset training and things like that, maybe getting to a little bit of visualization, picturing yourself in a situation where somebody's coming up and approaching you and being a threat to you and then just doing a little mental rehearsal of, like, how you'd react, what you would do, and just seeing yourself raising your voice or maybe demonstrating some like verbal assertiveness, like yelling, leave me alone, or something like that. And I know there's those of us that are very woo woo, that are like law of attraction the more you think about it, you kind of manifest it. So I'm not saying think about it so much that you actually find yourself in those situations, but it's always good to mentally be prepared for that should that arise.
Speaker 2:No, it is the definition of you would rather have it and not need it than need it and not have it.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:It's. Sometimes I've had people say things like that, where it's like, are you worried that talking about this so much, researching it as much as you do, you know, focusing on it as much as I tend to, it's just going to manifest it? I wouldn't say so. I would say that if you look at the Overton window of this country, it is happening around us, no matter what we do Right. It doesn't matter if you visualize it, it doesn't matter if the Overton window is moving right and we have to be prepared for the consequence of that full stop.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and that's what matters. What matters is keeping yourself safe.
Speaker 1:Right, and with that in your mental prep visualizing a safe outcome.
Speaker 2:I think you have more power than than a lot of it in Walmart because they donated to Trump, but it's literally the only thing I have in my area. Guys Like, if you live in an area like this, sometimes it's your only option. We don't have a target near us. The closest one is an hour away. So we got to do what we got to do. So, yeah, head down to your local, whatever the fuck, and get yourself like a yay, big aluminum bag that's made for a kid, you know. So it's not super big, it's not super heavy, it's not super bulky. It fits in areas, but it is still an aluminum bag. Keep it in your car. Just keep it right by your driver's side, by your passenger's side, somewhere reachable, somewhere accessible from your driver's seat. As long as you tuck it in a way where it's not like constantly rolling back and forth in that little spot, it's not going to fall out of the car all the time. I've never. I've been pulled over numerous times with it. I never once had a cop give me any shit about having it, because you gotta do what you got to do. You know. Now, mind you, I am also. I'm the color of mayonnaise, and again 411 and AFAB. So, depending on how you are profiled by the police, you might have a much different experience than I did having an aluminum bat in your car with the police, or even a lot of car. Emergency kits come with little orange mallets. They're like five pounds and they're usually used to help with tire changes. Yeah, but yeah. So just keep that. You know, other than those little orange mallets, one of those would also work perfectly, but, yeah, just keep one of those in your car. It'll go a long way.
Speaker 2:Turning things around you into a weapon. What you were talking about, about the aluminum water bottles. We've already talked about keys putting your keys between your fingers, and they act as like a de facto brass knuckle, if you will. Turning your jewelry into a weapon is something that people should keep in mind spiked chokers. There's a reason a lot of spiked chokers are banned from shows. It's because all you have to do is wrap it around your hand and now you have spiky brass knuckles. Keep that in mind. Your jewelry can be a weapon Almost any piece of your jewelry, especially heavy chokers leather, sticky, metal-y. Yeah belts. Oh my god, yeah, belts are yeah Belts wallet, chains, straps from purses, even long socks.
Speaker 2:Yep, purses in general. If your purse is heavy enough, wallop someone with it. My godmother's got a purse like a brick. I feel like my godmother's got a purse like a brick. I feel like my godmother's purse could kill a man.
Speaker 1:Sometimes I don't understand how people get so much in a purse. It's like the bag that never stops giving, or something how, the, how, the does that defy the law?
Speaker 2:it's like mary poppins yeah you just keep coming out but yeah, these, these collars aren't banned from and they can kind of do the same thing just without the spikies. I'm just saying I'm not saying get them banned from shows. Guys, don't be douchebags, don't go getting these fuckers banned also, but like they're not banned. So keep that in mind. These are not definitive, these are not a guarantee.
Speaker 2:They're just kind of like a good sign. You know, like in general. Yeah, safety pins. Within the punk community, safety pins is more than just a useful accessory. It's an active symbol. It's a symbol of being in safe hands or the person wearing them being a safe person for marginalized identities Again, not definitive, especially at this point. Just keep that in mind. That is considered a symbol of safety within the punk community. That's one of the reasons I got a safety pin tattooed on me, but it's matching with someone I don't want it to be matching with, so I'm getting it covered.
Speaker 1:Get a new one.
Speaker 2:I'll probably get another safety pin somewhere at some point, but the queer flagging that we showed earlier. Keep in mind flagging for safety for the LGBTQIA community in no way shows that you are safe hands for Black and Indigenous people. So you can have all the queer flagging on you want. That does not mean you are safe hands for Black or Indigenous people and that does not mean that they should trust you and that does not mean that they are going to trust you. You know what I mean. So political symbols for things like Black Lives Matter and the Land Back movement gotten from organizations that use the profits to help the communities in focus, are also a really good way to show that you are a safe person or find a safe person. You know things like patches that say land back or DIY If you make it yourself handmade patches, things like land back, black Lives Matter, things about the missing and murdered, indigenous women's projects and stuff like that. Those are how you show that you are safe hands for Black and indigenous people you know all.
Speaker 1:also, I feel like there's a layer of context mattering, like if it's local or not. Like local context Because, say, for example, you're in New York, you're on the subways, you have a melting pot of all different types of people and representations and a person with a Black Lives Matter patch could indicate safety in that sort of environment. But in a more, say, rural area, that symbol might not be as reliable. Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Just paying attention to context in your environment. Another example wearing rainbow shoelaces or something like that in a town that might be more queer, like San Francisco or Austin Texas, that might be more acceptable than you're doing that out in rural Montana. It might attract more unwanted attention in those types of environments. So even though we're giving you things to look for, they could also at the same time, put you into more harm's way. So just keep that in mind, based on where you live.
Speaker 2:No, absolutely 100%. That's one of the reasons why I keep this stuff on the front of you.
Speaker 2:You know like do your best to stay safe while staying out, if that's something that you want to do, if that makes sense, yeah, okay, we're back to basics when it comes to safe people and how to be a safe person and how to guys. Actions speak louder than words. They just do. If you want to seem like a safe person, then be a safe person. Donate to and share donation campaigns for those in need and organizations fighting for change. If you are physically able to go to local actions speaking out against police brutality and cop cities, call out your family and friends for their bullshit, and by that I mean talk to them, try to teach them and if they won't learn, then make them feel bad and archaic for their bad and archaic takes. I promise you, especially from my cis white men or cis white women out there, a well-timed I can't believe you would say that, or what a weird thing to say right now will go a long way. If you want to seem safe, be safe. Step up.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and allyship is action in real time. It's not just saying that you're an ally and doing nothing. If you see somebody being harassed on the subway or in public, say something or maybe sit next to somebody engaging conversation to help diffuse the situation. It's not you're an ally just because you say you are. It's action in real time. That's kind of how I look at it yeah, and again, like a well-timed, well-placed.
Speaker 2:I can't believe you would say that, or what a weird thing to say chef's kiss chef's kiss chef's kiss chef's, kiss like pull out your racist family.
Speaker 2:I mean, you know what I mean. Make sure your racist uncles know that their bad and archaic takes are bad and archaic, even if you can't get them to change their mind, because I get it. Trust me, I'm never going to change her mind, but almost constantly she hears me say shit like why would you say ew, that's such a gross thing to say, which is why she doesn't like me.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Don't be liked liked. You don't need your family to like you, they don't gotta like you yeah, you just gotta not get kicked out, sweetie, trust me. Yeah, yeah, you're just gonna not get kicked out, sweetie, trust me. It's a fine line, but we can walk it. But just, you want to be a safe person. Be a safe person. Be a safe person, act like a safe person, yeah.
Speaker 1:And also cross-community allyship, where you're not just wearing queer pins, but you're also wearing pins for disability rights and you know, like we discussed earlier, BIPOC or neurodiverse pins, whatever. Whatever you want to wear, it's the idea of standing up for all the marginalized groups, and not just one.
Speaker 2:Intersectionality is key, totally. Some warnings about some movements starting within the left as the election has been winding down. A lot of the blue bracelet, blue hearts, the building online communities of like-minded people, that whole movement, specifically amongst a lot of Gen X left-leaders See where y'all are coming from. I get what you're trying to do. I see it. I promise you it is coming off as performative. I'm not trying to be a douche, but it's coming off as performative. I'm not trying to be a douche, but it's coming off as performative. Yeah, it's coming off as yeah it's. It's not meaning, it doesn't mean exactly, it's not don't just, it's coming off as performative yeah, it's coming off as the same as like, yeah, it's coming, exactly it's coming off.
Speaker 2:the same as like the people who posted just posted a black square during 2020s Black Lives Matter movement and didn't do anything else Just posted the black square and that was it. You've got a spirit, but I don't think you've got the spirit. You catch my drift. But, yeah, like it's, it's, it's, it's neat, it's decent, but it is performative. If that is where it stops, that that can't be the end, all be all of where this goes.
Speaker 1:It's the same as just wearing pins, versus what we were talking about before about just calling out microaggressions when they happen. Having that little chef's kiss in the perfect, right timing goes a long way, so no, absolutely.
Speaker 2:Um, If you would like it to not be performative, try learning about projects to get involved with in your community things like food pantries, local volunteering opportunities, attending local government meetings about things that matter to you, and involving yourself in your local government in whatever ways you are physically, mentally and financially able to. Many of the episodes will help with some of the first steps of learning about mutual aid and involving yourself in your community. The biggest first step, though, is checking out your local library, because there are many services at many different libraries that can help you succeed and ways that you can help your community as well. Like y'all, go to your libraries, ask them what you can do for them and what they can do for you. You know what I mean. Find out the help that they need from you. You got this, I promise, but, yeah, check out your local libraries, because y'all they need you.
Speaker 1:I love that and the local libraries. I know the ones in our local community. There's a shit ton of things that they always have going on at all times.
Speaker 2:Exactly and involve yourself in your community. Literally. Actually, on uh, december 15th, I'm going to be volunteering at key foods as an elf because they're raising money for the local food pantry and I know the guy who's volunteering as santa, so I was like I don't mind coming to be an elf and he was like all right lit, so sweet, I'm gonna go be an elf, so cool.
Speaker 1:Yeah, if you're gonna pour into the community, you might as well have fun while you're doing it and you can.
Speaker 2:You always will, I promise you. I used to volunteer with relay for life. All the time. Uh, I was in my key club, which is the child's equivalent of like kiwanis, which is the volunteer network of new jersey, and that was always a blast. I was usually prep cook because they would never let us use calculators because I'm bad at math, so I would always run to the kitchen oh, ggs, ggs, yeah, just like, get involved. I promise you it's a lot of fun. You will meet some amazing people, you will have more fun than you ever thought possible and it's rewarding. It's really, really rewarding. Outro Music.