Life Through a Queer Lens

EP70: The Dance is What We're Fighting For

• Jenene & Kit • Season 2 • Episode 70

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Joy is a powerful form of resistance during difficult times, especially when combined with community care and practical safety measures. Survival itself becomes an act of defiance when we remember that what we're fighting for is the right to experience joy and connection.

• Crisis resources include the 988 Suicide Hotline and specialized warm lines like Trans Lifeline (877-565-8860)
• Self-care activities like gaming, nature walks, and creative expression are essential for maintaining resilience
• "You cannot pour from an empty cup" - caring for yourself is prerequisite to caring for others
• Practice online safety by being careful what you post and considering removing photos from political events
• When attending protests, follow safety protocols including going with trusted friends and letting someone know your location
• Build local community connections as your safety net - libraries often provide free meeting spaces
• There are always people willing to listen and support you, sometimes from unexpected places

Stay safe, stay queer, we'll see you next time.


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Speaker 1:

do things that provide joy. Go dance around with friends, dan savage said. During the hiv aids epidemic, queer folks used to say to one another we bury our friends in the morning, protest in the afternoon and dance all night, and the dance is what you're fighting for, because the dance is what the fight is about, and you have to. You have to still dance what you're fighting for, because the dance is what the fight is about, and you have to. You have to still dance while you're fighting. There is no resisting without taking care of yourself. There is no taking care of others without taking care of yourself. That's something that took me a really long time to learn personally, as someone who has taken care of multiple people during the end stages of their lives. You can't take care of others without taking care of yourself. You just plain and simply can't. You cannot pour from an empty cup. The first thing that I wanted to do is run through something from an older episode, basically just giving you guys the names of some suicide prevention hotlines so that you guys know. You know, just just, just, just in case, just in case you guys aren't feeling super safe with yourselves and stuff like that. Here we go, hotlines which, if you don't know, hotlines are they will call the police if they feel as though you are a danger to yourself or others, and coldlines are they will not call the police, they are just there to talk. And I think it's important to know the distinction because if you are someone where getting the police called on you could very much pose a danger to your life, you need to be aware of what's going on there. Here are the hot crisis lines the suicide hotline you can call or text 988, and they are available 24 hours a day. The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration their national helpline is 1-800-662-HELP and their support is also available 24-7. The Trevor Project 866-488-7386, or text START to 678-678, or you can chat online. Warm lines sorry, they're known as warm lines, not cold lines. Warm lines are the crisis lines that will not call the police, they are just there to talk. So first is call black line 800-604-5841. Trans lifeline in the US they're 877-565-8860. And in Canada they are 877-330-6366. Their hours are a little more iffy. They're not available 24 seven. So if you are in crisis, please keep that in mind before you know just you might call and no one's going to be there. I'm just warning you, we have an entire episode it's our what's next episode, which is a couple episodes back that goes into more details about each of these lines and lets you know the exact hours they're open. So please go give that one a listen if you haven't heard it yet and you'd like more information about the hours of these hotlines. Next we have the Wildflower Alliance Peer Support Line. They're available at 888-407-4515. The Strong Hearts Native Helpline at 844-762-8483. They're also available to chat online or via text. The Thrive Lifeline, 313-662-8209, and the LGBT National Help Center, 888-843-4564. There are also lines for coming out at 888-688-5428. The youth line is 800-246-7743. And the senior line is 888-234-7243. Their online chat is also available Monday through Friday, 4 pm to midnight Eastern and Saturday noon to 5 pm. If you would like more detailed information about those lines, please jump a little bit back in our distography to.

Speaker 1:

I believe it's called the what's Next episode or it's just called what's Next. We can also make them available at the Linktree if that's something that you guys are interested in. They were available at the Linktree for a while, but it was kind of one of those things where no one was seemingly using them. I wasn't getting any clicks through on them. They didn't seem necessary there and I needed to add the links for the queer burial, queer funeral things, which is in our link tree as of now. It was there as of Monday morning Y'all. Please go check that out. If you haven't listened to that episode, please also go check that out. It's called Love and Stone. It's like two episodes before this one or three episodes before this one. It goes through how to make sure that you have the proper name on your gravestone and you are buried in the right clothes and you have the proper ceremony after your passing and also are cared for if you become medically unable to care for yourself. Check all that out. Check all that out. Go back through our episodes. We've got some helpful information in the past couple episodes, so go check all that out.

Speaker 1:

Try to get into deep breathing, meditating. Go for walks outside, go be in nature, color, do things that bring joy. I don't know about y'all. I have been playing Stardew Valley, as though my life depends upon it, and I also started playing Hello Kitty Adventure Island, which, if you haven't, I cannot recommend it enough. It's really good. I really like it. I'm sitting there like butters, like I'm on Hello Kitty Adventure Island and it's my favorite. I love it.

Speaker 1:

So you know, just do things that bring joy, do things that provide joy. I know that it seems a little cheesy to say things like joy is resistance, but truly it is. It's not the only resistance, it can't be the only form of resistance, but joy is resistance, survival is resistance. You have to take care of yourself. So you know, take care of yourself, Do things that provide joy Eat, drink, go outside, go dance around with friends. I believe it was Dan Savage.

Speaker 1:

Dan Savage said that back during the HIV AIDS epidemic, queer folks used to say to one another we bury our friends in the morning, protest in the afternoon and dance all night. And the dance is what you're fighting for. Because the dance, the dance is what the fight is about. And you have to. You have to still dance while you're fighting, because you can't lose the idea that the joy is what we're doing this for. The pain is worth it because we are doing it for that joy. And put on your favorite outfit, go out with your friends, sit inside and play a bunch of video games, eat your favorite snack, go for a walk in the woods, play with your pets, experience life, protest in the afternoon but be sure to dance all night.

Speaker 1:

Some safety things. I don't like being that guy. I don't like having to do this. You know I don't like having to do this, but I have to do this. I need y'all to be safe. I need y'all to be safe. So have more care than usual towards what you say online and how you say it. If you feel it best, just like wipe your socials, just kind of just vanish from the Internet. I am now on the board of my local LGBTQ center. I am the first transgender, non-conforming person they have had on the board, which I am honored about, truly and just in general, honored to be on the board, things like that. And, mind you, I live in a small town. I live in a pretty red area, if you catch my drift.

Speaker 1:

Get involved in your community. Try to you know. Step away from the internet sphere and get involved in your community and be careful what you post. Be careful what you post. My personal recommendation would be to remove any photos of you at political or social events from the internet, if you know, if you feel it best. Again, you don't have to. I'm not your mom, I'm not in charge of you. This is just my advice. I personally haven't really done this. But also I didn't post photos of me at protests because I don't know you just shouldn't be.

Speaker 1:

In general, guys like you don't know if the other people in the background of your photo have warrants or could be prosecuted by ice or any number of things, have abusers in the area that could use that foot like you just don't know. You know so, like, unless you're gonna like take it in portrait mode, unless you're taking that photo in a way where the entire background is blurred and the only people visible are the ones who have consented to being in that photo. Just personally wouldn't recommend posting photos from political action events in general, especially now with organizations like ICE on the hunt for people, just kidnapping them in broad daylight while masked in unmarked vehicles. I wouldn't recommend leaving your phone at home before going to a protest. I understand that a lot of people do recommend that, but as an asthmatic, as someone with I have patellofemoral syndrome in both my knees, so my kneecap can just like go on a journey without the rest of my knee really being privy to it.

Speaker 1:

So like I personally need to have some type of communication device on me so that I can get to the people around me if something goes wrong. You know, like I'm small, I tend to get drowned out in a crowd, even being as visually loud as I am. It's one of the reasons that I'm so visually loud is because of how many times I've just vanished into crowds and it can be a concern. I kind of like it's a poison dart frog myself, if you will. I'm very noticeable but very small, so it kind of evens out. But yeah, like I personally have my phone on me. But if you put on an airplane mode especially if you're going to a city protest mind you, lately I've been going to protests in my area, which is much more of a small town If you're going to a protest in the city, put your phone on airplane mode. They have drones, they have shit in the air. Like, put your phone on airplane mode and then you can still have it on you. You can still make sure that if you need to get in contact with someone else at that protest or someone at home, you can, but you're not, you know, just like projecting your location to anyone.

Speaker 1:

No-transcript. Like, don't go alone. If you can avoid it, don't go alone. And if you feel like you're going to end up having to go alone in order to go. Try to join a group, chat with other people at the protest beforehand, be like, hey, I might end up kind of being there alone I don't really know how I feel about that. Is it cool if I tag along with you guys? Hang out with you guys while we're there? Try to make a group of people to kind of be like your people at the protest, because I understand wanting to be able to get involved but not having a safe unit of people to get involved with. Try to try to try to find one at the protest. But you know, try to set that with. Try to find one at the protest, but try to set that up beforehand. Try to set that up online beforehand and then meet up while you're there, if that makes sense. Just don't be alone at one of these. Just don't.

Speaker 1:

And let someone at home know what you're doing, even if there's someone you disagree with. I mean, I live with my grandmother. We don't agree on anything, politically, anything, but I told her I was going to a protest on saturday. I didn't tell her what it was about, but I told her I was going to a protest on saturday, just in case something happens. So the person I live with is aware. If this is someone you can disagree with safely, mind you. That's the really important aspect of that. I can disagree with her safely, I know she's. If you can't disagree with this person safely, don't fucking tell them. Tell someone else, but let people know where you'll be, especially someone you live with. That's protest in a city.

Speaker 1:

If you're going to a protest that you know a lot of people are going to be at, follow safe protest protocol. Obviously, try not to have any visible identifying features, don't you know? Again, photos, videos of the crowd. If you're going to take one, don't fucking post it. Oh my God. Like, if you're going to take a video like that, just for just for close family and friends, just show it to them. Look how many people were there. Try not to be. I mean, even after April 5th I saw so many and they were really cool to see. It's nice to see that many people out there protesting, but when you can see people's faces, you don't know the type of danger that you might be putting them in. Thankfully, I haven't heard anything come out of April 5th that ended up causing something like that.

Speaker 1:

But even still, it is something to keep in mind, for If shit hits the fan, you want people within driving distance. If shit hits the fan, it's even better if you have someone within walking distance. If shit hits the fan, you want someone near you. You want to have a community that you can very quickly turn to and I promise you it's there. I promise you, and I understand looking around and being like no, it's not your line to me, cause I mean I was. I did the exact same thing. I remember you know what I mean, and then I was able to find it and I was like gosh that I was wrong. But if there truly is nothing, I mean no harm in starting one right. There's queer people everywhere. No harm in starting one right. There's queer people everywhere. There's people like you everywhere, we like, there's people everywhere.

Speaker 1:

So, you know, maybe, maybe, reach your feelers out if you can find a safe building. Usually a local community library can be a pretty safe location to hold meetings like that and they usually have free spaces for things like that can fit upwards of around eight-ish people. Give it a go, see about it, something like that. You can, you know, start it out online and then, hey, let's go to this, let's go meet up here, let's hang out in person, see what happens. You never know, right.

Speaker 1:

Just when building this close in physical proximity community, make sure people are safe before you put your safety in their hands. You know what I mean. Make sure your boundaries are respected, you yourself are respected. Just make sure the people around you are safe before you put your safety in their hands. So my interesting facts today is that, just like y'all are awesome and that there is always something there, there's always a window, there's always a door, there's always a possibility, and I get it. It feels like there isn't, but there is, and there are always people out there willing to listen and sometimes even more willing than you would expect them to be upon first glance. Keep it in mind. I love you all so much. Stay safe, stay queer. We'll see you next time.