The Last One

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:44

Hi, everyone. Welcome back to the superficial spirit. It's me, your friendly neighborhood superstar, Peter Breeze. And I have to tell you, I hope you're sitting down. I hope you have her tissues. This is going to be the last episode of my show. Yes. I had a whole script written out, but um I'm just going to talk from my heart, honey, because this show has been going on for five long years. And it started as an exploration on whether or not pop culture could be spiritual. Because as you know, I have found that the most profound experiences I've had have come from nightlife, obsession with fame, um sort of these traditionally considered superficial things that had a really powerful effect on me. And it's something that Evan and I used to argue about back in Toronto, which was can the housewives be spiritual? Can Britney be spiritual? Can the Kardashians be spiritual? And my opinion was yes. I think anything can be spiritual. I think spirituality is a personal experience. It's something that you cultivate on your own. It's something that you self-identify. And there is no limit to what can open you up to what type of experience, person, thing, hobby, experience can be a conduit for that. And the whole first part of the show was so exciting because it was one, my you know, foray into podcasting, which I'm obsessed with. Um it was the pandemic, so it was a really great outlook, but it was really fun to and rewarding and meaningful to deep dive deeper into a topic that meant so much to me. Um interviewing scientists, other podcasters, witches, psychics, friends about what they thought about the crossover between pop culture and spirituality. Um I feel like I did come to a conclusion that I was satisfied with, which is yes, pop culture can be a spiritual conduit, and spirituality is something that you, like I just said, can cultivate on your own. The show has come through different waves, and that's one thing that I've struggled with because I did hit a wall at one point with the with the topic in general, because there's only so many areas you can go with such a niche thing, which is pop culture and spirituality. And I kind of allowed my creativity to take the show in different directions. Um we spoke about and discovered, I guess, tried to examine the way modern spirituality evolved, the problematic parts of it, the capitalism of it, the way that people who were vulnerable were maybe preyed upon by an industry that promised things that were not realistic: money, love, fame. That was also really interesting, too. It was around the time of the pandemic where lots of societal changes were happening. Um, fabrics were breaking down, Trump was president, BLM was happening, and people in general were just I think on two sides of the coin, desperate for something, desperate for answers, but then also fed up with the lies they've been fed. Um that was really empowering. Brittany also came out of her conservatorship at that time, and I felt like it was really poetic and symbolic that around the time I was feeling disillusioned by the whole concept of manifesting in modern modern spirituality and the commercialization of it was when, you know, the biggest symbol of fame, and I honestly the biggest representation of what I wanted out of my life, was coming to light, sort of her experience in a conservatorship and how ultimately a lot of the things that I idolized and looked up to were fake and not only fake, but problematic. You know, being chased and mobbed by the paparazzi, which is still something I romanticize, is literally the number one reason why Brittany has so much trauma now. So that was a really interesting era. Um being able to interview Canadian celebrities was really exciting. So when I think about episodes that stand out, one is Mary Zilbah from The Real Housewives of Vancouver. My first time being able to talk for a full hour to a real housewife was so exciting. Mary is a friend of mine now. We talk not all the time, but enough that I can say that we're friendly, honey. Um also talking to James St. James. So the club kids were an original inspiration of mine, the New York City nightlife and the way that they shaped not only nightlife in the city, but honestly culture. Because a lot of people who were part of that community ended up becoming big superstars like Madonna, RuPaul, World of Wonder, Moby. So again, having a personal connection to that world has been so exciting. Um, James and I were friends before he came on my show, and I saw him in LA last year or the year before. So that that was continues to be a surreal experience in my life. Um also talking to people that I've known personally who have become really famous. Um, Darcy and my um Darcy and Michael, Darcy and Jarr from TikTok, Darcy Michaels, I was gonna say, who I've known for a long time, who's completely blown up in that world, having them on the show to talk about what it's like to be an over not overnight success because Darcy has been in the industry for a long time, but hearing how their lives have changed because of their newfound fame. That has been super wild. Um, I think about interviewing Jimbo from season one of Canada's Drag Race and staying connected to him and his partner Brady over the years and how their lives have changed and how Jimbo has gone on to become such a massive presence in the drag race world, in the drag race universe. And again, somebody that I'm still connected to, which is surreal. Like I have managed to keep these people in orbit around me with really genuine and authentic um connections that have been based on my curiosity and obsession about fame. Um, one thing I'll mention too is that because I've been able to, I guess, get a glimpse behind the curtain of what fame is, it's also given me a different perspective of how it's not just fun and glamorous the whole time, which I think a lot of people would be like, yeah, duh, Peter, we know that. Um, but something I think I needed to hear straight from people's mouths that I knew personally. Um, Orville Peck is somebody that I was friends with back in the day. Haven't talked to him in a long time, but when he was first blowing up, I remember texting him, you know, when he was in Las Vegas recording with Shania Twain, when Paris Hulton was in his DMs, um, you know, coming out as a fan of his, just seeing his rise and the way that that affected him, and the way that being an artist first and a celebrity second can really mess with your um, I think just perspective on life and just the way that you're experiencing your art and the world in general. Um, all of those things have been so rewarding. And recently, looking back on my own personal with personal experience with nightlife through the Odyssey and people who were prominent in Vancouver during my heyday that have gone on to do really creative things, it's all been rewarding incredibly. But I feel like I've explored this perspective thoroughly. I will always be curious about fame and pop culture and the ways that my spirituality evolves and the way that I the activities and the people that I keep in my life that keep that part of me alive. But I got other things to do, baby. I got so many ideas, and I feel like this podcast has been a consistent presence in my life, but also taken up a lot of creative space. And I got things I need to do. So thank you for listening over the years. Um, thank you for the messages and the ideas. Thank you to Jess and Derek who joined me for so many episodes and helped me bring the ideas to life. Also, two people that I'm still friends with. Jess, I actually met because of the podcast. So I I got at least one new friend. Um and I guess I would say um, you're probably following me on social media, so you know I've I'm dipping my toes back in the pop star world, but I've got another podcast, honey, that's brewing that I'm excited about. It's on a very specific topic. And if you've been listening recently, you can probably guess what that is. Um not pop culture related, but I don't want to stay too much because you know you know knowing me, I could change my my mind in a couple of weeks. So I'm just gonna say thank you for tuning in. I'm always gonna be putting out creative content, and I really want to thank you for um being a part of this journey. It's been really exciting. It's a little emotional. I feel like Oprah when she was announcing the end of her show after 25 years, but again, there's new there's new pastures for me to explore. So to wrap things up, I wanted to share a little conversation that Evan and I had. Okay. Okay. So, um as you know, I decided to stop my podcast, The Superficial Spirit, after uh five well, first of all, do you remember, do you remember when we came up with the idea?

SPEAKER_01 11:11

I I don't even know how long you've been doing it for. It wasn't Gas Town, was it?

SPEAKER_00 11:16

Oh my god, no. We were in um we were in Toronto. No, no, no, no, no. We were in Toronto living in Parkland Lakeshore, and we were arguing on a walk about if I can't remember if it was the Kardashians or if it was the real housewives, if they could be spiritual.

SPEAKER_01 11:34

Was it the Kardashians, Cardassians feud that we've been having for years?

SPEAKER_00 11:39

No, we had that conversation on the podcast, but the idea of the podcast came because we were walking and arguing about because I felt like all of my pop culture obsessions were a conduit for my spirituality, and you're like, that's stupid, blah, blah, blah.

SPEAKER_01 11:55

And I still think it was stupid, but for you it was important.

SPEAKER_00 11:59

That's how it came to be was because I was curious if other people in the world um I mean, I would still make the argument it's like anti-spirit.

SPEAKER_01 12:08

It's literally the opposite of spirituality.

SPEAKER_00 12:12

Well, I would say that spirituality is something you can self-identify, and it's a journey, and it's an experience that only you can say, I am having a spiritual experience, which is why for me at the club or me being obsessed with a celebrity or fame, in like that process and that mind frame was a conduit that opened me up to spirituality. Yeah. And I mean, I think you could agree that you had lots of unconventional ways of your spirituality too.

SPEAKER_01 12:45

Well, no, I think it's just it's an interesting premise, which I still disagree with. I think it's fascinating in a way, but superficially in finding spirituality. I mean, it's finding spirituality in in vanity is is interesting. Um which is sort of what I always thought it was, you know, superficial.

SPEAKER_00 13:04

Wait, wait, wait, wait. This is coming from somebody who um literally does magic rituals naked with your lotion and your crystals in the shower, looking in the mirror. That's not vanity.

SPEAKER_01 13:16

I mean, that's more hell stuff I do. And I'm not like looking myself in the mirror, do and yes, I bathe naked.

SPEAKER_00 13:25

I think um, no, but I mean you have a lot of vanity tied up in in like you you wanting to have these fancy spiritual experiences like levitating, moving things with your mind.

SPEAKER_01 13:40

I'm still trying one day. I'm still I'm still trying on that levitation front. Yeah, I don't I don't know. I guess I guess it's like it's really I guess it comes down to how you define it. And I think spirituality in spirit is really hard to define in itself. Um, you know, if you take like Eckhart Tolley or Alan Watts or whatever, obviously they're gonna have I think a stronger view that you know anything that is going to inflate your ego is going to be um anti-spiritual, I would say, or or working against that, which I would argue we're sort of talking about. I guess on the other front though, you know, things that inspire you are very spiritual. Yeah. Right? So it's uh not a black and white issue. There's a lot of shade of gray in there.

SPEAKER_00 14:26

You can't say black and white, Evan. This is why you're not allowed on my podcast.

SPEAKER_01 14:30

I'm canceled again. Um I mean, you put me on twice in ten years.

SPEAKER_00 14:35

Every time you came on, people were pressed, okay? It was a it was a very sensitive time. You you you've got some you don't even have prickly opinions. I just think you sometimes the way you word things. I mean, the 2010s were wild. 2010s. The 2010s were. I mean, this is like 20. This was like 2020. The 2010s.

SPEAKER_01 14:57

No, I mean that's when when was like But we were talking about when you were on my 2010 and like Black Lives Matter. That was all 2010s, wasn't it? Are you serious? Yeah, it was like 20.

SPEAKER_00 15:06

That was 2020, Trump. I thought it was 2016 to 2020, like 2016 okay, wait, wait, wait, wait. I'm talking about did the lines of the podcast. 2016, we were in Kelowna. I didn't have my podcast, but did you did get those lesbians did get mad at you because you said something about Black Lives Matter.

SPEAKER_01 15:28

And then No, and I think it was something about how they're going calling Justin Trudeau a white supremacist. A white supremacist. Which look, I I am not a fan of Justin Trudeau at all. I think he's not the best, and sort of regret voting for him. Yeah. Um, but I thought that was an extreme comment. But that was back then, like there was there was so much people are so scared to say anything or okay, wait, wait, wait.

SPEAKER_00 15:52

No, that wasn't. Is that when George Floyd was killed? Then why do I feel like I was in oh, because I guess we moved to Toronto. We were in Toronto when BLM was at its height, were we not? Because I remember working at the Gladstone Hotel when it was happening, because we were like a queer female-led place that was getting a lot of accusations about the 2010s.

SPEAKER_01 16:16

We might have if we're totally being idiots, we'll have to re-record this entire book.

SPEAKER_00 16:20

No, it's okay. This is not even part of the conversation. Like it is, but anyway, so I was like, this was gonna be the best part of the conversation.

SPEAKER_01 16:26

Uh, not remembering the last two years, which is a whole um I like I can't remember time anymore. It's it's so like I was thinking that yesterday where like the last four years been since we moved back to Vancouver. I think it's been four years.

SPEAKER_00 16:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 16:42

Has it? Doesn't feel like it.

SPEAKER_00 16:44

I let's not let's not try and do timelines anymore because now I'm confused and I I think it's been four years. I think it's been four years. Actually, May long weekend. Oh my god, we just oh my god. What? May long weekend last weekend. That was our fourth year. Because we moved here on a May long weekend.

SPEAKER_01 17:00

No, but it's our third year.

SPEAKER_00 17:02

No, because we moved one year and then the second year we got married, and then it was last year, and now it's this year, so it's four. This is our fourth summer here. That's only three years. Let's just stop. Oh no. Okay, so anyway, I think like what I learned about spirituality was basically like I can define it. I I feel like I'm a spiritual person. At one point in my life, it was like literally the most important thing to me to wake up and meditate half an hour a day. And um, you know, I was sober at the time. I was just really wanting to um identify with that part of my personality. I do a lot demons, honey.

SPEAKER_02 17:44

I do, and that's okay. I'm okay with them. I'm okay with them.

SPEAKER_00 17:47

As I do too. But I feel like the first part of the podcast was exploring the pop culture spirituality. I think I had a lot of really good conversations, and then since then it's come like it's been through a lot of different variations. Like then I was like interviewing Canadian celebrities. Um we were doing sort of like the pseudo-spiritual people where I was trying to like debunk um psychics and tarot readers and like looking into cults with Jess. And then I came back recently, it was like looking into nightlife, and I just felt like I keep hitting walls where at first I was really inspired, but then I felt like I was running out of interesting topics in the world of spirituality and pop culture, and where those two crossed over. And then I found I wasn't really I stopped being interested in interviewing people just because they were on TV or had a large following. Like my my illusions about yeah, like you, um, working with famous drag queens and then Orville becoming famous, and Britney's conservatorship, like those three things kind of made me be like, eh, it's not as interesting as I think it is, even though I still have issues with fame in general.

SPEAKER_01 18:59

You still got issues, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:01

But I those two topics I'm like, I don't really want to talk about anymore. And then recently I've been doing stuff about the Odyssey and Nightlife and the evolution and UFOs. We'll put a pin in the UFOs for a second, but generally I feel like I'm really trying hard to keep it going. A lot of this is also about my past, and I feel like I need to put it to bed, and it's been such a nice, long, very long run. But I have so many ideas that I'm kind of like trying to put through the lens of the superficial spirit when I could just stop, close the book, kiss it goodnight, and then move on to the other things I've been talking to you about.

SPEAKER_01 19:36

Yeah. Godfather it. Wait, what's the term I'm looking for? Godfathering? Oh no. Oh no. This is why you can't come on. No, what's the you know there's a term when you like put a lid on something and you're just gonna close it? Close the chapter?

SPEAKER_00 19:50

No. That's not what I'm thinking of, but so I guess what I wanted to ask you was um what well, like what have you seen, what have you observed on me? Um, what have you observed in me? About me? From me? I can't speak. Um since I started the show, and like maybe I don't know. What my mental state, like how I've gone in and out of the show.

SPEAKER_01 20:13

Uh well, it's hard for me to like take up the context of our life, I think, from our show, because you know, I just I I hear a lot of the interviews when you're doing it, and then we talk about them after. Um so it's sort of hard to separate that. Um But I think generally it it's I think we you know we both hit middle age. You know, I think middle age hit us hard as it does, I think, when you when you're hitting 40 or around that area. And I think it's a really it's hard not to look back.

SPEAKER_00 20:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 20:43

Um and I think that's fine. I think that's part of discovery is to look back and look at your life choices, and um that's fine. But I think we both have a feeling now where it's like, okay, but how about the next 40? You know, if we're lucky for the next 40, totally who knows. If we're lucky enough for that. Um that's really exciting too. And when you're constantly going back, it it's so tell me about 2007 at the Odyssey.

SPEAKER_00 21:11

Do you remember when I was popular? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 21:14

It's you know, it's not sad, it's just a little sad. It's spent. It's spent. We've seen we've seen this uh painting before, and it's nice, but it should go on the wall, it should be finished for a bit, you know.

SPEAKER_00 21:25

And there's so many topics that I've recently become um hyper-obsessed with UFOs being one of them. And I'd like to devote my entire life to exploring the the potential of extraterrestrial life. Just kidding. Kind of not really. Um, but yes, I'm gonna stop the show. It's been fantastic for everybody who's been listening. Thank you. It's bit it's been like lots of different I think there's probably been four chapters. Like if I go back and look at the episode breaks, talk to lots of cool people. Lots of people, lots of people. Lots of hours of myself talking, my God. Well you

SPEAKER_01 22:00

You would love to listen to yourself speak, so it's good for that. That's right. Inflate and you know, inflate that self-worth.

SPEAKER_02 22:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:07

But I think it's exciting. I think I think it's time to uh I think podcasting's great for you. I think it it's really good for your creativity because you're a man that needs to create constantly. And I think this is a really good way for you to do it, but again, try something fresh. Um why whippets are the best dogs.

SPEAKER_00 22:27

Yep, the whippet podcast we've talked about before. And the skink. How to be a gay with lizards. Yeah. Okay. Well, thanks for tuning in. I will be back very, very soon. Love you. Maxwell, Maxwell.