The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly

Chapters

• 0:00 Return From A Long Hiatus
• 2:40 Defining The Good, Bad, And Ugly
• 5:20 Why We Need A Trusted Person
• 8:00 On Choices, Consequences, And Time
• 11:30 Unrequited Love And Projection
• 15:30 Turning Hurt Into Growth
• 19:00 Mindset, Positivity, And Presence
• 23:00 The Ugly: Vengeance And Its Cost
• 27:30 Letting Go, New Futures, Closing

Transcript

SPEAKER_01: 0:00

Thank you guys for joining me on another adventure. Welcome back. Welcome back. We made it. We made it through another week. Another couple of years in my case. Um, I took a serious, serious, serious hiatus. Um, just to you know, recalibrate some stuff. Uh, things that I was working on, things I needed to work on. It was good, it was bad, it was ugly. But that's what life is, right? This life is a journey. This life is something that we can all hold dear or we can all let go. You know, it's a personal choice for sure. Free will is something that is given, but it's not something that we should always exercise. I was taught that when you grow up, you make certain choices, and those certain choices can either affect only yourself, or it can also affect the people that's around you. And growing up, I really took that to heart, you know, the aspect on why I should watch myself and the things that I say, the things that I do, because it does have a representation on you know the people who who raised you or the people that's in your circle. Obviously, you don't want to embarrass them or make them feel any type of way, but you know, we all are human and we all make mistakes. Um I want to highlight on today's episode a few things. Um, one when you try to be the best version of yourself, what does that mean? And I think in my opinion, it's the good, the bad, and the ugly. The good is obviously all your traits that you find to be appealing or uh easier for people to understand you. Um the way to communicate with others, uh the relatability of you understanding others, right? And I'll say the bad would be probably the things that you find to be embarrassing, you know, things that it's hard to be relatable to, uh, things that you might find weird, you know, and the ugly, those really deep dark secrets that either you do share with your loved ones or your close confidants, or you know, you just want to hold on to that, and honestly, there's nothing wrong with that, okay? Like I said earlier, free will is given, but you don't have to exercise it. And one of the most important things that we all need to know is we need somebody, we need somebody that can understand us for the good, the bad, and the ugly. And the notion of feeling embarrassed, I think that's more of an internal thing. The reality of it, guys, when we don't find that one true person, you know, the partner, a friend, somebody close, family member, whatever, it can damage us in so many ways. And what I mean by that, by the damage, when you go through life and you have no muse, no person that you find to be trust trustworthy enough, you kinda seep into this weird black abyss, right? You kind of shun yourself from the world because you you're either just fed up with the craziness of how things are nowadays, and we and we all seen what's been going on in this world, man. Like it's it's just getting worse by the day. But if you allow that to consume you, then I'm not gonna lie, it's gonna be a very, very rough life for you. When you find that one true person that you can confide in, it's like finding gold, it's like you've finally been searching and you've been out on the rough seas, and you and you find this little bit of an oasis, right? Just this this deserted island that's been unhabited, and you stop and you wonder why is this here? What's the purpose of it? And in all the craziness that I've seen, and all the things I've experienced, this one little island. Is this here for me? Or is this here for somebody else? Let me level what you hear. It's always been there. Matter of fact, you probably passed it three or four times. The things that you feel that is gonna be for you was never for you. And the things that you fight against that you feel like you don't need anymore because of whatever feeling that you have, it you know, you you can push that away, and that could be a blessing for you or a curse. But free will is given, but you shouldn't exercise it, and I want that to be something that as I did, I want you to really ponder on that. Because we all go through life thinking we figured it out, and we forget that life is short, you know. Definitely do the things that you feel that you need to do, want to do, experience. Man, there's nothing wrong with experiencing, but along the journey, we will meet people that can show us a new side of who we are, different ways of expressions, different ways of understanding us in the times that we find that to be in turmoil, but I don't want people to really sink in and only relish on finding people, you want to find yourself as well, and and finding yourself can be a really difficult man journey. Now, if I'm speaking for myself, you know, Ken, you've been gone for so long, bro. What's been going on with you? What's the updates? Um my updates in life personally have changed a lot. I have talked to a lot, I have experienced a lot, and if we're gonna go off the topic, the good, the bad, and the ugly, I start out with the bad. The bad of this whole hiatus at the age that I am right now, I am still gullible to unfinished feelings. Unfinished feelings is when you are either romantically involved or you are just finding a friendship or um figuring out what trajectory that you're trying to go, right? When things just happen abruptly, it's just like taken away from you. That that part hurts, you know, the act of unresuprocated love or unresuprecated feelings or unresuprocated deeds can leave detrimental marks to a person's psyche, spirit, and can have a physical outcome depending on what type of person you are, and there are some people who's listening to this and they're like, Yeah, man, like I've been involved in that a few times, I've been subjected to that a few times. Can have you? Oh, yeah, man. We're all not God, okay. We all have to go through these things that allows us to grow, and even though it's in the bad category, how you take it can also be good. Not too many people look at bad things as a positive situation. I do, though it hurts, the feeling is never gonna go away. That that love that that bonding, you know, it doesn't go away, but what you do with it has everything to do with you. That's where that free will comes in. Now you can choose to be real derogatory, you could choose to be very aggressive towards the person. But what would that really do? How would that really outcome? Because regardless, that person's gone, right? You can't get that back. What you lost is probably way more important, uh way more precious than how you're feeling, and well, what that is is time. Time is the most important currency in life. You don't want to just squander that away because of what you feel that you deserve. Maybe that other person doesn't know your worth. Maybe that person chose to do that because that makes them feel good. You know, there are some people who choose to do bad towards others because it edifies their feelings. Some people choose to do bad because they really legit don't know that they're actually doing bad, they don't even know that that actually hurt you. And some people are just selfish, they want to be selfish. That's your own right to do that, to choose that for yourself. But when you're selfish and when you ignore the feelings of others, even though you don't necessarily have to, you know, give them whatever that they're asking for, there can be rewards and consequences to everything that you choose. And I and I stand by that. That's like my little creed, you know. Every choice has a require a consequence and a reward. And if you can have an understanding on that, I think life can be a little bit more easier, I think, because an understanding of something means that you actually get it and you get both sides of it. But you know, if we just take a step back and really think about this, life is what you make it, right? Life is the choices that you make based off of cause and effect, and that cause and effect can be whatever. So we'll take a romantic relationship, for example. You met this person, you and this person have good chemistry, you know, you laugh, you joke, you fall asleep on the phone, you have a a positive outlook on it, and then as time goes, you start to realize that maybe you just don't like this person, maybe you just like maybe you like the fact that it's new, it's foreign to you, and at first you kind of play with the idea of the what-ifs and the what buts, and you really realize like okay, um, what can I make of this situation? Is this person gonna be good for me? Is this person gonna love me? Is this person gonna get me? Is this person gonna judge me? Is this person gonna hurt me? Are they gonna have their best? Are they gonna take my best interests to heart? Will it be something that I feel that I can give my all to? All these questions go through our heads. It's human nature to question the motives of another person. The funny thing is, a person can actually show you all the green flags, but for some reason you're looking for the red flags, but the red flags aren't shown to them, it's not on them, it's on you. But you project that red flag, and you're thinking like this person will hurt me eventually, so let me beat them to the punch. Let me let me outsmart them. Right? But are you really outsmarting them? Or are you afraid? Are you afraid of the the outcome of what if, the what buts, and the maybes? Now, I will say, in my own opinion, unrecorded love can be real hurtful, can be a curse, it can be poison, and it's not because of what that person has done to you, it's because of what you actually put out for them to hold on to, but they never grabbed it. That's probably what makes that so bad. But this is how you deal with it. You have to take everything that reminds you of them, and you ponder on it, and you understand that I did what I felt was best, and you can't fault yourself on that, you can't make another person like you or fall in love with you if they don't want to, it's impossible, you know, and it's also okay for you to feel however you feel betrayed, you know, hurt, embarrassed, because you put out a product that wasn't reciprocated. Now, saying all that, if anybody has experienced that, and you still alive, and you're still going through life strong, then that's your win. Because guess what? You're gonna find somebody that's better than that person, and never wish bad on them because they didn't reciprocate your feelings. You want to make sure that whatever that you put out into the world, you will also reap. Now, if you allow that vengeance and and the and those negative feelings to to creep up into your mind, well that that can get kind of ugly. We don't we don't need the we don't need no more negativity out here. But it's so easy to do it, right? It's so easy for oh man, like all I have to do is buy me a gun, get to wherever their destination is, wherever they might be, and just blow their heads off, right? Because how dare you do that? If that was the case, you should have never talked to me in the first place. If this is where it was gonna end up again, within your right, it's within your right to have those feelings. Alright, now here's the good part about it. When you go through these things, and you realize, like, okay, man, like I try my best. This person's not here, they dipped on me, they have no conscience, they have no morals, you know. You can be the bigger person and say, I respect that. I respect it. I respect it because you're you're brave enough to know what you want. And I applaud you for that. You taught me something that I probably never even had before either, you know? Uh something that I can I can stem from. I can take I can take a a page out your book. Not taking the bad or the ugly, I'm taking the good out of it. I appreciate you showing me something that nobody else showed, and that's bravery. Right? Obviously, we don't look at it that way, but honestly, guys, it is the truth, man. That's the truth. Your outlook on life really has a lot to do with what goes on between your eyes, that little muscle that's in your skull. You have full control of your thoughts and your actions. And if I'm speaking from Ken's point of view, I'm happy. Because you you probably dodged a bullet, you know, you probably somehow passed a titan that could have destroyed your very being, and then they showed you who they truly are, and that's great. Because now you have an open parking space for somebody else to drive in to take control of that, to show you what true love is, and it's it's so easy to dip into pettiness, but it's also just as easy to dip into your own happiness, unrequited love can be a lesson that makes us stronger, that makes us stronger within business, that makes us stronger within our personal, that also makes us stronger within our own families, man. Because our own families can be very brutal, very harsh. We all have responsibilities that we feel that we have to do, and it could be you know a choice for them to say that they respect you enough to let you go because maybe their problems are in their mind way too much for any other person to deal with. Now that's a choice that they make. They they made that for you. Obviously, if it's somebody that you really like or really want to see uh really have a future for, or you see to have a future for, everything that they're going through is probably not even a problem. Right? You never really saw it as a problem, you just kind of dealt with whatever that they were going through, and you was cool with that because this is a person that you feel that you want to spend your time with, and whatever hurts them hurts you, and whatever makes them happy, you're happy. To me, unrequited love is almost like a pretense to love, right? Because you have to know, you have to get your heart broken, right? To be receptive to any other good feelings, any other good gestures. Because when you are on top of the world, right, you you're not looking for love, you're not looking for any more good feelings because you're already feeling good. Think about that. When you're in a good spot, right, and you're you're in uh you're in a place of zen and and peace, you're not looking for anything else. Because you're happy where you are. But how'd you get there? You think you got there because you just woke up one morning and was like, I'm not gonna experience any bad in my life? No, no, no, no, no. We're we're we're all the same in that regard. There's nobody on this earth that hasn't experienced pain to a point where oh man, like you will wake up and the person that you thought would still be there. Well, they woke up the same way you woke up and they decided I don't like you no more. It's time to break this off. You haven't even done anything, and they can't even explain to you why they feel that way. That to me is what makes unrequited love the worst, but also the best. And I know you're saying, like, Ken, you you are all over the place, huh? You're not making no sense. Really listen to what I'm saying. How you look at things is a direct representation and how you feel about yourself. You're putting you're putting a product out into the world for people to see. And if you're a person who wears their hurt on their sleeves, then you're giving a person the keys to the kingdom to your heart and your mind and your spirit. But if you look at it in a in a positive aspect, people can't really see the hurt, but they will know how to treat you as such because you will demand respect, you will demand positivity, you will demand certain people who have ill will towards you, they will see that and they would turn away. Right? You ever see a really nice person? Like I'm talking about, like a really nice person, and for some odd reason, they just have this glow about them, and you don't really want to mess that up if you're that type of person, if you're a normal person, if you're a very evil person, obviously you want to destroy whatever that they find to be happiness, but normal people would look at that and be like, Wow, man, that person is awesome! That person really has everything going for themselves, but in reality, they probably going through the worst you can possibly imagine. But they chose to see the goodness in people, even though, despite the hurt that they have gone through, they chose to see the goodness in the world, and to me, that is true currency right along with time, that's something that you can handle as well. You can handle how you have an outlook on things if you have a negative outlook on things that you will always breed negativity and giving grounds to all the possibilities of bad stuff to happen. I mean, personally, I can't live like that, man. Like, I can't live in the realm of what-ifs and the what-buts and the maybes. I mean, because I mean, realistically speaking, that's that's a really bad way to use my time, and I'm and I'm creating a space in my mind that really shouldn't even be created for mess. Because that's what that is, that's mess. And you shouldn't do that to yourself either. You owe yourself happiness, but don't shy away from when things happen, don't try to look the easy way out. Sometimes you gotta go do it because there's a lesson in everything, and there's a lesson in all the bad. So, in the good, you're looking at the bad as good, but that's expensive. Maturity that takes emotional intelligence that takes you understanding who you are as a person, how strong you are, the viewpoints that you look at yourself to be so endearing to others that people want to latch on to. If you could create a space for that, you will find that you will be around the richest people in the world. And I'm not talking about money either. I'm talking about riches and feelings. I'm talking about riches and experience, riches and a communion of like-minded people. That's not something that you can buy. But that don't mean they're actually loyal to you, they're loyal to what you're giving them, what you're providing. But if you can find somebody that truly, truly cares for you, never want to let those type of people go. Because those are the people that will shape who you are in later years. Connections and and relationships, man, they're they're invaluable. And I and I wanna and I wanna end it on the on the good part on this. If you ever find yourself in a situation that it just seems to be quite unbearable, and I'm talking about you don't see up, you don't even see down. Stop that for a second and say, Did I put myself here? Or did I give the rings to somebody that saw who I was but still used that for their own benefit? When you ask these questions, and I'm talking about these tough questions, because these these are meditation type questions, these are I'm in my closet with the door shut, I'm in pitch darkness, and you're doing self-evaluations. At least that's what I do. I try to evaluate myself every day to make sure that the product that I'm putting out is you know positive. And one of the things I am doing is is you know, this this podcast is you want to talk to the people that most people don't like to talk to, right? But when you find yourself in that darkest place, like I have, understand that even your rock bottom ain't your rock bottom because there's somebody else that can go even lower than you. So when you have that type of mentality, it's so much easier just to look up. Alright? Now, the ugly. I'll try to keep this one short because nobody likes to hear about the ugly. The ugly about this one is you can be a person that seeks that revengeance. That vengeance can be a uh a leech that sucks away the positivity out of your life. That unforgiveness, the unf the unforgiveness is stress. We are already stressed out here, guys. You don't want to attack on something that man that can be detrimental to you, and after a while you become so evil that every person that you meet, you want to destroy them because you feel that life is just so unfair, and you want to project that on somebody else because you want you want the other person to to agree with you, you know. What do they say? Misery needs company, right? Well, that's the truth. You will find the happiest person and you will try to strip them of their happiness. You want somebody to feel what you feel because you don't want to be alone in this situation, you want that person to understand who you are at the deepest level, obviously, and you want that hurt to be shared because when that hurt is shared, you don't feel as crazy, and within that craziness, you try your hardest to destroy that person or people, your family, yourself. I mean, everything becomes a wrecking ball, and you're just coming in and just destroying everything that people held dear because you're hurt, and what's even more alarming is you don't care, you don't see a fault in it. Matter of fact, your excuse is well, if somebody hurt me, if somebody decided to use me as a punching bag, I'm gonna use the world as a punching bag. My family is gonna see it and feel it. You you have no right to do that. How dare you try to project yourself, your negativity on somebody else? Because you see that they have nothing but goodness in their heart, and you want to strip that happiness away. How dare you? Free will, they also have free will as well. So you basically just took their free will without their permission. You're not God, even God can't take away your free will because even He has to obey His own laws. So I say, if you are a person who thinks that that you just want to kill the world because of the of the different experiences that you have seen and felt. Matter of fact, you was probably the most loving, but you dove into that black abyss because it's easier to blame others. Well, let me tell you something, sister. Let me tell you something, brother. It's not easier. The older that you get, and the and the longer that you hold on to that, it kills you, it doesn't kill the people that you're hurting, unless you actually did physical harm and understand that you will reap those benefits as well. Any bad things that you set out here, man, what you sow is what you will reap. So you have to be careful. That's a slippery slope. But the good news is there's so many people that you haven't met yet. There's so many experiences that you chose not to have yet. So now the world is so big when you look at it that way. Don't quit on yourself and don't quit on people because people are not perfect, people make mistakes, and don't allow yourself to succumb to the people that actually hurt you. Don't give them that power because guess what? It's in the past, it's in the past, guys. Whatever is done is done, but tomorrow is a gift. Yesterday's history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. I took a quote out of Kung Fu Panda, by the way. If anybody has watched Kung Fu Panda, that turtle gave you a gem. Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That's why it's called the present. I love you guys. I appreciate you guys tuning in. And I want everybody to understand that even though that the world is ugly, the little bit of sunshine that you have can make a difference for somebody else, even if it's just one person. All right. So it's your boy Kendall Whiz, and I'm signing out.