Imagine waking up one day to find that everything around you has changed; job, relationships, or even your kids flying the nest. Life transitions can be a daunting territory to navigate, but we're here to guide you through it. Drawing from our own experiences and those we've helped, we'll be walking with you every step of the way through the mysterious and often intimidating journey of life transitions.
We take a deep look into the idea of 'soul transition' and the tussle between our logical mind trying to map out our future, and the role of the spirit in co-creating that future. We'll also explore the fear that comes along with stepping out of our comfort zones. Can we conquer it? Better yet, can we channel it into curiosity and use it as fuel to propel us into the unknown? Together, we'll find out.
But there's more. We'll delve into the power of action and gratitude in successfully wielding life transitions. We also talk about the importance of taking responsibility for our choices while leaning on faith in something larger than ourselves. Finally, we invite you to join us as we bravely venture into exploring our purpose and meaning, and how to seize life's opportunities in partnership with the universe. So, if you're on the cusp of a significant life transition, or just curious about navigating change, this episode is your perfect companion. Tune in, and let's embark on this enlightening journey together.
Angie Shockley mindfulangie@gmail.com
Dave Gold dave@davegold.com
Imagine waking up one day to find that everything around you has changed; job, relationships, or even your kids flying the nest. Life transitions can be a daunting territory to navigate, but we're here to guide you through it. Drawing from our own experiences and those we've helped, we'll be walking with you every step of the way through the mysterious and often intimidating journey of life transitions.
We take a deep look into the idea of 'soul transition' and the tussle between our logical mind trying to map out our future, and the role of the spirit in co-creating that future. We'll also explore the fear that comes along with stepping out of our comfort zones. Can we conquer it? Better yet, can we channel it into curiosity and use it as fuel to propel us into the unknown? Together, we'll find out.
But there's more. We'll delve into the power of action and gratitude in successfully wielding life transitions. We also talk about the importance of taking responsibility for our choices while leaning on faith in something larger than ourselves. Finally, we invite you to join us as we bravely venture into exploring our purpose and meaning, and how to seize life's opportunities in partnership with the universe. So, if you're on the cusp of a significant life transition, or just curious about navigating change, this episode is your perfect companion. Tune in, and let's embark on this enlightening journey together.
Angie Shockley mindfulangie@gmail.com
Dave Gold dave@davegold.com
This is. This episode of our podcast is going to be a little bit different, and we always start by saying welcome to the podcast. So Dave and I have we had taken a little sabbatical and we recorded a podcast a couple of weeks ago, which which I think should be coming out anytime, and it was our culminating podcast, focused specifically on parenting, on exceptional parents with extraordinary challenges. And as we have been recording this podcast, it has really evolved, and so we want to broaden our horizons a little bit, and so this episode is to talk about what's coming next, what's next for us, what's next for this podcast, what's next for you guys as our listeners and really one of the themes that has come up just consistently for Dave and for me, as we've been moving through the last about eight months, I guess nine months, is life transitions and how to navigate that for us as individuals, because we're both moving through some life changes in our own worlds, and then for you, our listeners, the folks that we work with in our various jobs and roles in our lives.
Speaker 1:Life transitions that's a big one, and it's everything from my my five year old is going to school to all of my children are now out of the home and I'm an empty nester to.
Speaker 1:I have worked in the same job for 30 years and it feels like I need a change to relationship, transitions to location transitions, all kinds of life changes and there used to be just the midlife crisis and now there's the quarter life crisis and the three quarters life crisis and the teenage crisis and all of these transitional times in our lives and they're tough. They're tough times to move through and Dave and I have been talking about this and we really want to take our podcast in a direction that addresses some of these life transitions and share with you the wisdom and knowledge that we have gained through our own experiences and also through helping countless of the others as they're moving through life transitions. So that's where we're at and we thought this episode of our podcast would really be where we talk about this topic and talk about, maybe, our own experiences and what our thoughts are going forward. So I'll punt that over to you, dave.
Speaker 2:So I got a hundred things. I'm trying to see which one jumps to the front of the here, because one of the things that Angie and I connected it probably shows in the way we talk and stuff, that the fiction is very deep and very subtle and it's just fun to check in and say, oh, that's happening to me in this form. And then, as we were talking about, realize, wait a minute with our spouses and it's happening in our families and it's happening with the people we work with. And in one sense, I've become more and more aware that I'll speak. I think I'm speaking for both of us, that we're just responding what comes out of our mouth people need from us or what's being called forth from us. And so this topic is just being called forth because everywhere we look, it's just transiting the position and so one we assume in this community of our listeners that we're connected and so this is being pulled out of us. It's not just oh, angie, what do you want to talk about? Oh, yeah, now let's everybody just get on board. We're going to talk about it. If you like it, find it. If not, find another podcast.
Speaker 2:No, it's really deep, the deep connection that we have with everyone and recognizing this and the and a couple of finer points is one is the transitions here in life. But they're somehow, they're deeper. It's almost like the transition is happening. Maybe, if I can use this, it's happening at a soul level. If I could use that, imagine you could put a different spin on that. So people don't get turned off by that If they what's happening very deeply, it's happening collectively, it's not just our lives, it's happening deep, it's happening collectively and it's happening mysteriously.
Speaker 2:And I think this is one of the things that you and I under the table, that I know it's happening because we're transitioning into the unknown and I think that's something that we hit that with. That oh, wow, that's something that's unique. We're transitioning it to something better than we can imagine, which means we can't imagine it. So part of what we're exploring in our lives and everything whatever, is how does one transition? It's one thing when you know you're transitioning a move from Chaplain, from Raleigh to Chapel Hill, coming to Getty Mary Okay, I got to load the moody van, I got to find a school that's one thing. And when you're being called into something deeper, it's a mysterious process and so how do we best navigate that process. So that's part of the context for how this emerged.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I like the idea of the soul transition. That's I think all of our listeners at this point know I'm a shamanic practitioner, certified teacher of the medicine wheel, and the soul's journey is really what I focus on in that realm. Actually, I focus on that in all realms of my life, but it has a different language depending on what hat I have on in the moment. But soul transition, soul journeys, that's what we're all on. And one of the points that you made that I think is really important is this is mysterious and this is not something that we can figure out with our logical brain and that's what we go to. That's the known entity of okay, let's make a five-year plan, let's create a life map for where we're going to go, how we're going to move from Raleigh to Chapel Hill, or I'm going to get a new job, and so let me put out there what my goals are with my job and that sort of thing and all of those things are important, but they are not the most important and they are not really how transition happens. Life transitions happen. We're like, oh, something's different. So it's not. This is not a transition where we're consciously making the choice to do something different. We're finding ourselves in a situation where things are different, where our soul is craving something else, where our children are in their own lives All of these things that happen in our lives and they're happening while we're busy focusing on ourselves or whatever the future, the past or change in diapers, whatever it is that we're focused on and then these big life transitions are happening, and then you find yourself in the middle of it and you're like, oh, how'd I get here and now, what do I do? And it is mysterious, and it is scary, and it is hard, and it is exciting and it is fun to dream and create and think about what could be different in our lives. One of the things that I want to talk about as we move forward with this podcast is the difference between that logical brain trying to create your future versus what I refer to as co-creation with spirit, which is the dreaming your life into being, the finding out what your real purpose is, and how do you do that? And then how do you take that information and put it into action in your life, and what does that look like and how scary is it and how do you overcome that? That's probably three or four podcasts right there, but I think it's important to realize that there are a lot of people who wake up one day and go, oh my gosh, how did I get here? Whether they're in a situation where there's oh, there's going to be a divorce in my family, or oh, we've got to move to another county because my husband's job went there, and so that's what we've got to do. You're living your life, you're doing the day-to-day things, and you're very caught up in the details of that day-to-day life, and then, all of a sudden, there's a realization of whew, everything is shifting underneath me and I'm not sure what to do about it.
Speaker 1:One of the things we do as humans is we cling to the known. We will cling to the known even if the known is not good for us, because what we know is not as scary as what we don't know, no matter how bad it is. That's something I think that would be important to talk about in this first episode is like why do we cling to the known? Why do we hang on to the things in our lives that are causing our lives to be more difficult? The biggest reason is because it's the known, it's what we know, it's what we know we can handle, regardless of how bad it is or how easy it is. Sometimes we'll stay where we're comfortable just because it's easier, rather than stretching outside of our comfort zone, and fear is a huge barrier to all of that. What's your experience with that, dave?
Speaker 2:So I want to go roll back one and then go with that, because I think that the attitude or the perspective or the tips or the transmission that we are now giving will continue to give about handling transition right now. So, in other words, I would love everyone as much as possible, listen with what we're talking about, and by that I mean be curious. I think that's the key to so much of what we're talking about. It's like I could be terrified or I could be curious. There's a world of difference between those two. So one I would just encourage people, just be curious to this. Maybe you think, oh, I got to solve this problem. Oh, I am going to get divorced, or my kid is, I don't like my job or whatever. And one just, the more lightness we can bring to this, the more ease, the more curiosity, the more trust that we can bring, even as we're listening to what we're talking about, the better. And that's just a little context that I want to set, because I was thinking about the difference between being curious about the future and being scared to death about it. Anyway, but I think what the responding to your particular you? You pitch me a batting practice fastball there, so I'm going to hit it is I think it goes into so much of what we talked about before in the previous inter podcast about parenting is it's hitting a trauma.
Speaker 2:Oh, I'm really scared about moving. What's the worst that happens? It's not that, it's that, oh no, this is hitting something in me that was really devastating, that I don't even remember anymore, and so every time I'm in the unknown, it's almost like a map, it's almost like a magnet, but it's pulling us back towards that old trauma. I say, in many ways the punishment doesn't fit the crime. What we're, the unknown that we're facing, isn't scary, but the unknown reminds us of was terrifying to whoever. It was that we were before this wound got imprinted, and so that's responsive.
Speaker 2:But it's also just. It's just the knowledge of that, the knowledge that we are. We just have the tenant. Nothing wrong with us. It's not that we're not certain we're weak or we haven't moved on, it's just being human, is it so much of it's just. The unknown is triggering Maybe that's the best way to say it, triggering something of us that's out of proportion, and just the knowledge that I'm being triggered. It's just like when you're fighting, your spouse says something, you go berserk and in 10 seconds later you realize what the hell that and you recover.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah. So many things that we've talked about in this podcast before respond versus react, coming from a place of logic versus a place of emotion. Those are the things you're talking about the need to try to control, because we feel like control is what takes all the fear away, and that's an illusion. There is no control. Those two things, I think, apply to everything in life. We've talked about them in the context of parenting a lot, and I think it's a good idea to talk to talk about them in the context of life transitions, because you know, when you're 100% right day from, we have some kind of an event happen in our lives that leaves an imprint. That is a defining moment in our lives. It can be something when we were a little kid that we don't remember at all, but every time we feel like we're in the unknown, we have that incredible fear pop up for us and it's connected back to that event that we may not remember. So then we have an emotional reaction to it and transitional times. That's tough.
Speaker 1:I had a conversation with my daughter this morning and also read an article this morning that just popped up in my world about little kids going to school and my grandson will be going to kindergarten, not this fall but next fall, and we were talking about that transition and I was going back to when my kids went to school and what that transition was like for me.
Speaker 1:And you know there are so many emotions around that and as a parent and now as a grandparent as I'm experiencing as a grandparent it's you want to control that environment.
Speaker 1:You want to make this as logical and as emotionless as you possibly can for the child and then for my daughter, who's the mother of the child, and I was really thinking about that prior to coming onto this podcast it's wow, okay, there I am trying to control something Again that's going to be completely outside of my control and so what can I do? What is my role and what's her role and what's his role as the little kid going to school? When you think about it from that perspective and you break it down a little bit, it does take the fear to more of a curiosity, and I like that term, I like that concept of being curious about what's the future going to bring. And there are millions of kids go to school the first day of school every August and September and they all survive and they do great, but at the same time, when you're in that situation yourself, you have that anticipatory fear of what's going to happen, and that's a some people. Let me finish this thing because I forget.
Speaker 1:Some people think of that transition, as maybe everyone does it, and so it's not that big a deal. But it's a pretty big transition for a parent. When your child goes to school and then you fast forward 12 years and you send your kid out into the world, to college or to some kind of training, or out into a job or into their own home, and it's man. It's that same feeling all over again, and so it's. It is important to really lean into the fear that you feel, so that you can't step into curiosity rather than going, oh I can't, I can't be afraid of this. I got to be tough, I got to be strong. This is dumb.
Speaker 1:Every kid goes to school, every kid leaves home. I shouldn't be feeling this way. No, the reality is that it is scary and it is the unknown, but curiosity is the way to go. I wonder how this is going to work out, and you can do things with your body to help you shift the way that you're feeling about something. But before we go down that road, let me let me go over and see what Dave's holding on to.
Speaker 2:The first thing is I just see what I saw. So much of what we covered in previous iteration of this just repies here. Just feeling what you're feeling, rather than saying I should feel this way. I feel we talk about this in the parenting context and just what you're feeling is what you're feeling and the freedom to feel that, without judging it, without thinking, oh how does someone else look on it, how the perfect self do it. So that's just a really. It's just interesting how what we talk about proves that happened to be true in parenting. But there was something I got excited about, which is why I started to interrupt you, because I'm thinking, okay, yeah, be curious. That's like telling someone you're at a dinner party you don't know anybody, relax, right, you can't force someone to be curious. So we, how do we create the conditions where the curiosity, the curiosity comes about? And there's been. You said earlier about the soul's journey. I think you said it was a co-creator process or something.
Speaker 2:What were the words that you used.
Speaker 1:You just repeat that phrase Co-creation with spirit, co-creation with spirit, with universe with God.
Speaker 2:So one of the things that I noticed myself that makes me more curious is okay, if I'm in a co-creation, what's my partner up to, whatever that partner is, and then you just say, really, and so, just being aware of the fact, it's not, there's something.
Speaker 2:We don't have to put a cosmology to it, we don't have to define it or prove it, but if you're in a co-creator process, there's so much more curiosity. And I just had something happen Julie and I we're Julie's working, they're doing some work on some property in our town and we started looking about the next. I talked to you about this. We started to look like the next project and what we both realized is we like small towns. So we're, in a year we're probably going to move out of our house empty nest. Okay, we could sit there and think, okay, what do we do? But no, it's just oh, isn't this curious, that happy to be in this small town and meeting these people and get to be friendly, and you can feel that, oh, now I'm naturally curious Other inference coming in. So I wanted to put that over to you in terms of how the co-creation fosters that curiosity.
Speaker 1:Yeah, oh, absolutely. So I mentioned there are some things that you can do to embody this curiosity, this transitional piece, this co-creation, and for me the curiosity is the fun part. The unknown has become the fun part for me. And that is not who I was 15 years ago. 15 years I was. 15 years ago I was a control freak. I was going to control everything. I was going to do everything myself because no one was going to do it just the way I wanted to do it, and it was easier for me to do it than try to train somebody else to do it or tell somebody else. I was very much in that control, maybe 20 years ago. Maybe it hasn't been fit, maybe it's been 20 years. It's definitely been a journey for me to become a leader who raises everybody else up.
Speaker 1:I've always been an inspirational person, but I was a control freak and so now it doesn't petrify me to think that something's outside of my control. It really does make me curious. I'm like I wonder why that's going to turn out. But it was again a 20-year journey. It's not something that happened overnight. So I think that it's. And there are still times where I'm like, oh man, I should just take care of this, because nobody else is going to get it done, and I'm talking more, really, in the context of owning a business, having a lot of people who work for me and my family and just doing things in my family instead of waiting for somebody else to do it. So it's a journey, and there are going to be those things that are the unknown that make you go.
Speaker 1:Whew, I'm not sure about that one, but some of the things that you can do to turn that into curiosity, one meditation and prayer, however you want to put language to it, having faith in something bigger than self. That's why I say co-creation with spirit, with the universe, with God. Co-creation means that I am not 100% responsible for what's happening in my life. I'm 100% responsible for what I do, because that's the only thing I can control is what I choose to do. I'm not someone who just leaves my life to fate and I'm hoping that the good things happen. I have responsibility and I'm going to take the actions that I can take to move in the direction I want to go. So that's an important piece of it. But I also know that I have belief in something bigger than myself out there and that my soul's journey is very important. I'm here for a reason, and there are things that I'm doing in my life that are impacting others that will leave marks on this planet when I'm no longer here. Those kinds of things are important.
Speaker 1:So if you have not given thought to that, let's start there. Let's start with how do you move through that process of being curious about your own purpose and meaning in this lifetime and what your journey is really supposed to be. Why are you here? None of this is by accident. We're all in the life that we're in for a reason. So how do we take that information, gain more knowledge about it and then implement it into our lives? And there are lots of ways to do this. One of the things and this is going to sound like a plug for my work, but I really just want the information to be out there it's part of the medicine wheel journey to learn that throughout it's a year-long journey You're going through these various workshops and classes to really find a way to connect to that part of yourself that really never comes into human form and that's where your purpose and meaning lives. So that's one direction you can go. You can look into something like that I'm not the only one that teaches it. And then there are other things you can do.
Speaker 1:I had a conversation with a really lovely friend of mine, who I've worked with her and her children for quite some time and about journaling, and for me that's one of the things I do and that's something that she's looking into is journaling and just getting your thoughts out on paper.
Speaker 1:That's one way to explore this without there being a ton of fear to have to deal with. So, like you're, my journal it's under my computer, but it's right here next to me because it's something that I try to do every day. And I don't do it every day. Sometimes I don't have time, but it's there and I can get my thoughts out into it. So, whether it's ideas or fears, or the unknown, or things that I wish for, things that I wish I could dream into the reality of my life, whatever it is, getting it out on paper it helps you process the emotion of it, but it also puts it into more of a real context, because you've put it into writing on a piece of paper. So journaling is one of the ways that I think is very effective, and it's not for everybody, but for some that might be a really great way to move in this direction. What are some of the things that you do, dave?
Speaker 2:Oh, I'm glad I love listening to you talk. I love the best of both worlds. So I was thinking about the time in my I had a. I spent 20 years with a teacher in West Virginia and moved the area to be with him and basically was just surrendered and unexpectedly after 40 days I stayed out of my cabin and he threw me out of the group. Yeah, I was excommunicated and crushed because devoted. It was totally invested. I didn't have a plan B. I had a lot of practice and stuff but I wouldn't have a plan B. And I remember I was just so in such terror and I started looking at options and I called a friend of mine and he said it's good, it's good that you're taking these steps.
Speaker 2:It's easier for moving on to find direction than a stationary one and a lot of this. Yes, this kind of journaling it's one side of the coin, but there's just the way of getting, just getting moving, just starting interacting. It just seems the more I engage, the more life, the more that which I'm in partnership with reveals itself. And you know, what's happened with this recent thing with Julie is that she's asked me to get more involved. So I'm talking to people, I'm traveling up there I'm looking at stuff and now things are coming in. So it's easy for us to get paralyzed when we're in a transition and to go inward. And there's a space for the inward, there's a space for the contemplation. You don't want to run away from yourself, away from your feelings, and you don't want to indulge in magical thinking where you just think, oh, it's going to come to me. There's also a way of just getting moving and don't worry about whether you're taking the right steps. There's the thing about I got to know exactly when I'm stepping. This is the theme that's coming out here. So to me, I have a bias towards action, but part of it is just moving.
Speaker 2:And then and you talk about this all, we talk about this all the time and it's almost cliche, but it just doesn't make it any less profound, because we look at life through the eyes, attitude. I see the co-creation where others might not. I see it in the smallest, just the smallest kindnesses or smallest pinprick of life to a door opening. So I think the two things that I would respond to is one, should moving and two, to whatever extent you can see life through the gratefulness, which isn't just an overlay, it's true, it's actually the true nature of nevel life is that when you look through life, through that, then you'll start to see directions, you'll start to see patterns and you'll get a sense of what you're being coaxed into.
Speaker 2:And the third I wasn't going to do two but I'm going to throw it in quickly because I'm talking fast here and I can't prove this I am sensing almost like a tractor beam. There's times when I feel I'm being drawn in a matter and I could struggle all I want, I could think all I want, I could pretend I'm turning. So I remember when I was a little kind of pretend steering wheel next to my dad and I would pretend I was steering the car, because I just think, hey, I could pretend I'm steering the car, but I just have this deep knowing it's a tractor beam here and maybe what's mine to do is to feel like I'm going through this whole process. But there's just that inherent trust and faith that I have that I can feel that I'm being pulled to that which is the highest and highest and best for all.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think that's a couple of really important concepts. One is the highest and best. That's really what we are striving for always is what is the highest and best for us and for everyone in our lives and all those people that we touch. If we are living that benevolent life, then that's really where our focus is. And you see all kinds of quotes and memes and all the things out there that say you don't have to search for your path. If you take care of yourself, the path will show itself. Basically, and that inherent knowing that you're talking about, that's your intuitive knowledge and we all have it, but we all don't tap into it and, in fact, some of us will hear it, feel it, know it. It speaks to us and we go, nah, that can't be right. Nah, that doesn't sound right. And a day can go by, or five years can go by, and you find yourself back there and go oh hey, maybe that was exactly what I needed to do at the time and I didn't pay attention to it.
Speaker 1:There were a lot of things that came up while you were talking that I really wanted to hit on the gratitude, of course. People have heard me say this, that I believe gratitude will change the world. I believe gratitude is the opposite of hate. Love is not the opposite of hate, gratitude is.
Speaker 1:I've talked to so many people that have been adamant that their lives begin to change when they started their day with gratitude, even before getting out of bed. What are three things that I'm grateful for right now, even if one of them is just that I opened my eyes today and I have another chance to see what this life is going to bring me today? You know that that gratitude and it's a vibrational, it's a frequency level, and we, when we are in the frequency of gratitude, then we are going to draw and attract more things into our lives that continue to make us grateful. So taking care of ourselves is really important physically, emotionally, mental health, all the things taking care of ourselves being healthy. You know, being in a space where we are vibrating at a high frequency that's an important piece of all of this, because that's when the path shows up. So that is very true.
Speaker 1:It's also very true that what we put out into the world, we're going to get more back of that same thing. But we're putting out anger and resentment and fear and shame and guilt and all those things that we all feel at times. If we stay in that and we put that out into the world, then we're attracting more of that back to us and knowing that, understanding that, and then that's where some of our responsibility comes in. There are things that we can do to shift that and there are things that happen in life. There are some really bad things that happen in life that are not fun, that are not happy, that are they feel unfair and they're hard and it's. There are a lot of things that happen to people that no one, including myself, would ever ask for those things to happen in life, and I find that's something that that a lot of folks that I work with struggle with is why is this happening to me? And you can take that question why is this happening to me? And go two different directions with it. You can go the direction of benevolence, of I don't understand why this is happening to me, but I accept that it's happening to me and I am willing to step in. I'm willing to lean into this very difficult emotion, whatever it is, or you can go. The direction of this is not fair and I don't accept that this is happening to me and I'm not going to be able to deal with it in any kind of way that makes sense. So both of those things are possible, because oftentimes that's the first direction we go is I'm not dealing with this, there's no way this can be, I'm not dealing with it, and then we can come around to the other direction. But just knowing that there are two ways you can go with a hard thing, a hard event in your life, is really important, and we've talked about the great pause so many times.
Speaker 1:Taking that pause, gaining a different perspective, stepping back and going. Okay, let me just, let me not have an emotional reaction to this right now. Let me just take a pause and see how I feel. Let me check in. Do I feel scared? That's okay. Fear is real and it's okay to feel it. It's what you do with it, same as any emotion.
Speaker 1:So taking the pause allows us to choose if we're going to go that path of benevolence or not, with whatever life transition is about to, is hitting us or is about to hit us right, and then tapping into that intuitive knowledge. When we take that pause and we go that path of benevolence, that's when we can really tap into our intuition, that's when we can really know what's real, what our purpose is in this specific situation. What do I do with this? Where am I supposed to go with this and how do I make this shift? And so, anything from the loss of a loved one which is really hard, especially if it's a tragic loss, it's very hard to step into that, lean into that.
Speaker 1:Or you've got an empty nest because all your kids are going and you're looking at your spouse going huh, and who are you and who am I? And how are we going to navigate this? Because we don't have all these kids to focus on anymore. So now, what are we going to do? All of these big life transitions are hard and fun and, yes, we need to be curious about them, but these concepts apply to every transition, no matter what direction it's taking you.
Speaker 2:There's something Beautiful there. This is fun, by the way I like it.
Speaker 1:It is. This is fun. It's a fun conversation.
Speaker 2:It is. And even just when I was thinking about this morning, I could feel that you could turn left or turn right and those and when they hear the last podcast, as we did, I literally was my turning left or turning right. This will make more sense. Yes, I could have been so concerned. I was going to talk about how it's going to be fun, but anyway, there's some. There's a piece. We talk about the pause. There's a beautiful piece of advice that my brother gave to me. He said lift up your gaze. And I realized that we're going to metaphorical. I'm hunched over because I felt the weight of the world I'm always looking at, I feel. And then for me, even just physically, to lift my gaze up or to metaphorically lift my gaze up, there's something that happened just a few hours ago. That's such a great example of this not a life transition, but being able to look both ways.
Speaker 2:I woke up at four and I was just I have some back issues and I was just such pain and I was just so mad because I was just sleeping so soundly and I was just in such pain. I got up and I stretched for 10 minutes to get rid of the pain and I was just mad. And then I lifted my gaze and my two dogs laying down there in the moonlight and I just sat there and stroked them and listened to each of them do their, just groaning, half asleep in the light, in the moonlight, and that I could go. It's exactly what he said I could just go and that's okay. That's the way I felt, but there was just a moment of saying what's here, what might be emerging, not jamming something down your throat oh, my daughter.
Speaker 2:Dying is the best thing that ever you know. Whatever ridiculous thing you're yourself into, it's just totally out of character. Just that they're not right. You're not going to swallow that. Just be curious. Once again, be curious Like oh, I wonder what's here. And, as I said, I told my internet's out and I'm thinking I got all these today and all these important meetings. What am I going to do? And I walked over to this little grill just a few blocks from my house and I wondered where I could go and I thought, wow, there's this beautiful green greenhouse they have. I don't think you're allowed in it. And I walked in and my friend said hey, you want to go into greenhouse? It's just life. It's just life. Why not so anyway, that curiosity about what is the opportunity that might be presenting itself on it, without forcing yourself to think, to feel anything of the field.
Speaker 2:Curiosity is just so authentic. That's the beauty of it. It's just so naturally authentic. Yeah, you can take it from there.
Speaker 1:Yeah it's. There are so many things that we feel like we are going to control and that are so completely outside of record. You could control the fact you didn't have internet this morning. That's not in your control and, yeah, you could. You found a solution for it out of curiosity. And I think that's a great lesson for everyone, because it's life is a beautiful and messy and hard and fun and scary and curious and all those things. And we move through the things that happen in our lives in the way that we know best.
Speaker 1:And I talk a lot about and I have a very dear friend that I worked with for many years who always said do the best that you can with what you have where you're at, which is an old quote, but it was something that she implemented in her work and in her life, and so it's something that we talk with our young adult clients about all the time. Just do the best that you can where you are right now. What's the next best decision you can make? And so I had one of them actually say that back to me the other day and I was like, okay, this is where we are in our population of young adults. It's a tough time. They're still coming out of the pandemic phase where they were very isolated and they have a lot of. They have a lot of trauma response and they missed out on a lot of skills and things that those of us who didn't live through a pandemic pandemic between the ages of 16 and 20, we didn't have. That chat, those challenges, and never mind the other challenges that we have in this world. That's one of the that's one of the populations that I see in big life transitions of. Okay, I've been this adolescent with my parents and my parents have been doing things for me, and now it's time for me to step out and do things on my own and I've made some dumb decisions with my life. And so now, what am I going to do? The best that I can where I am, with what I have. That's really all we can ask of anyone and all we can ask of ourselves, and there's no such thing as not making mistakes. I make mistakes all the time. I'm always going to make mistakes. That's okay. Those mistakes are okay, and I used to be the person like I couldn't have a mistake and if I made a mistake I had to fix it really quickly and no one can know I made a mistake, because that making a mistake a mistake to me was weakness and meant that I wasn't okay, and that was one of the hard lessons I had learned through my life was that mistakes are great. Mistakes are what help us grow.
Speaker 1:Making a bad decision and then understanding how to get yourself back on track from a bad decision is really an important skill, and it's one that I see young adults learning right now, which I think is super important. I call it failing successfully. If we can't fail successfully in our lives, we'll never make these big life transitions. The interesting thing is that people that say I don't have time or if I don't do this right now, then I'm losing my opportunity and all those kinds of things, and it can feel that way.
Speaker 1:I've felt that way before. But the reality is that I know that timing is always perfect and that may mean that something I want right now is not going to happen for five years, and that it's my responsibility to do the things as they come up, to embrace the opportunities as they come to me. That's my responsibility, and then the responsibility of the universe is to create the path for me, as long as I'm taking care of myself and I'm aligned with that purpose. And so that I think is probably the biggest challenge for all the groups of people that I work with is understanding what that path is and what path and purpose is right for me. And again that goes back to do you know your purpose? Do you know how?
Speaker 1:to find your purpose? Do you feel like you know your purpose, and what if your purpose changes? That's a big one. Especially, dave, you talk about being an attorney and then giving that up.
Speaker 1:And you've gone through many iterations of Dave's gold through the years and I've made those transitions. It's like there's a theme that's always been the same for me, but how I've addressed that theme has been different and continues to be different. Big life transitions they happen, they're going to happen, and so it's how you're going to navigate through that. And that takes me back to the fear and the curiosity. You're going to feel the fear, but if you take the pause, you lift your gaze, you change your perspective, then you can be curious about it. And what are all the wonderful things that might come down the road rather than oh, this change, change is bad. We automatically go to. Change is bad. Change is not always bad. In fact, change always ends up being a good thing.
Speaker 2:And I've been running an experiment and it's been proving itself. And it's a curiosity because, yes, there are things that I want to have, and am I disappointed when I don't get them? Yes, I just have seen that when something is all this stuff, again it's so trite, can sound so trite, but when something is taken away, there's just something, it's space for something better. Okay, you just hold that lightly, okay, and I would suggest, hold it in your own way, whatever that means to you, not the way someone else would say it. But again it goes back. I just think it goes back to this internet stuff.
Speaker 2:My internet's out, like I just yesterday. I just said I've been so busy with Julie's stuff and this is my dedicated day, I'm going to eight hours just for the cube. I got all these things, all these deliverables I promised, and I come up. I got no internet and I'm an hour into spectrum trying to get the thing fixed and I'm getting matter to matter and I'm on the phone with one of the reps and my cell phone service is terrible inside my house, as Angie knows. I got to go outside to talk. I have to be inside to deal with the damn modem and we're getting right to the end of fixing it and the call drops and Julie comes in because she used a string of profanity that she knows when I use it.
Speaker 2:I really save it for the time's when, but it's most applicable. I just heard you say blank what happened. It wasn't something I told her and then I just smiled and I called back and I had the greatest rep in the world. We laughed and we joked and he was so funny and he was so appreciative and he wanted to go up to my website and he wanted to know why I was the way I was and I got his life story. It's the perfect. And the energy was totally different the energy when the first guy was all business, and to me that's the metaphor. If you just was I mad that I have a right to be mad, though I wish I got the damn thing fixed.
Speaker 1:Yeah, sure, that's all human yeah.
Speaker 2:But I'm just finding over and over that, even when I mentioned when I got excommunicated it was time for me to go, I never would have left. I just stayed there. I was time for me to wean myself and I had to be kicked out of Attic way. I wish it would be easier, but when I look back at every single thing that's been taken away sometimes still hurts. I wish I didn't lose my father when I was 19, but there's a lot of things that I've for. So, just damn. I'm 71 and I love I don't know what's coming next and I love my life and I love who I'm with and I love being here. This is the truth, and I think this is what gives us more credibility than our wisdom and our life experience is that you and I have just lived. We eat our own cooking and we end in this beautiful place.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, that's true, and it didn't happen overnight. Like I said, there's lots of things and it's not perfect every day, but, yeah, I can definitely lean in to the things that happen, because I've learned that those things that happen that I don't like, because, yeah, you don't like having internet and I don't like I don't like it's raining right now and that means some hay is getting wet and so I'm not happy about that, but it's not. I'm not in charge of the rain, not in charge of the weather, and I'm sure that it's all going to be perfectly fine. So I can lean into it and go okay, how do I adjust and move through my day in a different direction? You move to a greenhouse. I'm not sure where I'm going to move, but we'll see it's coming next, right, but now find out.
Speaker 1:But, yeah, I, perspective is so important and I think that'll probably be my final thought on this episode of I don't even know what we're calling this podcast anymore. We'll figure that one out but perspective is so important and when we I call it the anger blinders when we get into situations I think you were probably in it on that first phone call you're in the, I got all this stuff to do and I don't have internet and it's not my fault and I and this needs to get fixed. And I got to talk to this person and this is you're the person who's going to fix it and I need you to fix it now. So that's just an example. But, man, can we get into those, into those anger blinders, anger, tunnel vision, where all we can see is right there? All we're doing is reacting to the emotion that we have? And you lifted your gaze, you took those blinders off and went, okay, let's go a different direction with this. And then you met a new friend, worked on solving the problem. It all worked out anyway. You get to be in this beautiful greenhouse today while you do your work with some great folks that are supporting you.
Speaker 1:I just hope everybody can take really take that in, because perspective is so important and you hear all the time somebody's definitely got it worse than you. It's not about that. It's not about who has it worse. This isn't a game. This isn't a competition to see who has the worst situation. This is life, and there there's always an opportunity to be grateful for what you have, and that's the approach that I like to take and teach. Not somebody has a worse situation than you, so you better be thankful for where you are. No, let's just start with gratitude. Let's just start from the perspective of gratitude of for where I am, what I have, what's going on in my life, and be fully present where you are in the moment. That's the other thing.
Speaker 1:If we're really angry about something and we've got those blinders on and then we're still trying to do 15 things, the the activity that always pops in my mind is when you're driving and there's a crisis in your world somewhere and you try to text while you're driving, and how many times that causes a major problem in people's lives, puts you in danger, it puts other people in danger. That one always pops into my mind because what is more important? Being present behind that wheel and getting where you're going to go safely or dealing with whatever popped up on your phone in that moment, and if it's that big of a deal, you pull over. To me, that's life. There are going to be things that happen that make us have to step out of the path that we're on and deal with it in that moment. We're going to have to, because that's life and that's how things happen.
Speaker 1:But for the most part, everything that happens. We can be fully present where we are until we get to a place where we can then focus on whatever the problem is for a little bit, to do whatever we need to do. What's our responsibility? Right to lean into it with curiosity and with a pause and with a perspective. Okay, what's the big picture going to look like here? Was that really is true? If this isn't going to matter in five years, then why am I spending so much energy on it right now? So that's the thought that I'll leave with.
Speaker 2:I got to thank and I think it goes into something we'll maybe we'll talk about next week or whatever. But I can't coding my mother that the energy that goes into a thing becomes a thing itself. And when I think about the tech I guess I'm thinking about that. Actually I'm also thinking in that moment. It just the same way with that guy on the phone, the spectrum guy. I'm no good. I'm bringing energy of fear. What's good, it's going to come out of it because I'm coming from that place. So even in this gets the pause and the things we're talking about are lifting the gaze, and maybe another thing to throw in there is just, I want to be coming from the right energy, even though it's the hardest thing to do to break out of the fear. So I can take that pause but just say I know I'm coming from fear, I'm coming from scarce, I'm coming from this is the end of the world, it's what you said earlier. It's going to come back to me and that's we're going to be. We can hit that.
Speaker 2:Just something I want to mention too about you and my appreciation of you and part of what prompted this. I'd await us that. It was time to that. It was the moment was a rising for transitioning and we even on cooking because we don't know what we were transitioning to again we're eating our own cooking but it was that you're just recognizing your highest and best use energy. You know what you do for the thousands of people that you've dealt with one on one and tens of thousands and hundreds of thousands you've affected in this field.
Speaker 2:But when you talk about the talent you have on the soul's journey, it's such a high pitch. It's who can do that? No one. There's way that you do it and we're early about. Hey, there's a lot of people to do this and I'm not just pushing myself, but I know from me.
Speaker 2:I'm 21 years old and I've met a hell of a lot of people. I got a really impressive Rolodex. I don't care what, whatever I need, I can find it. But when my best friend was trying, was in a bind and was trying to figure out, does he go to Europe with this, you're the one, I go, you're the, and I just want people to know that Angie is, and Angie doesn't need your work. This isn't a call for papers or info, but to have this kind of resource of all the people in my life that you're the one I go. Just want everyone to know that if you're in this situation and you that you got to go to person here, whether you're just listening in on the podcast or tuning in to your energy, or you find time to talk to us, that's just a portion of appreciation and recognition that you are something really phenomenal. And I don't want to call yourself so. That's the last word. And now, well, it can't be, because now.
Speaker 1:Thank you for saying that, dave. I felt a long time ago or I remember exactly where I was the first time you and I had a conversation and that's not always the case. I do talk to a lot of people and I don't always remember exactly where I was in the first conversation. And I remember that with you and I knew that our paths were going to cross and I wasn't sure how and man has it been a journey and I'm loving it and I'm excited for how that journey goes forward from here. And thank you for those kind words and I'm glad that I can be a resource for you. And the same is true, you hold a special place in the Rolodex for me because I know when certain things come up, dave is the Dave's to go to guy. So thank you, thank you for saying that, and I am I'm looking forward to where this is going to go and I don't know.
Speaker 1:We'll see what we talk about next week. I'm sure we're going to talk more about life transitions and we'll see what we transition the name of this podcast to. But we appreciate everybody tuning in and we'll talk to you again real soon. Terrific thanks, angie. This is great.