How To Change

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Transcript

How to Change
shaykh ibrahim ansari

Change of any kind, physically, emotionally or spiritually, requires examining, planning and work in some form or another.

Physically, if I want to change a chunk of land into a garden, for example, I will need to first approach it with a plan. If I was to just assume I could throw seeds into random soil, then I might get a disorganized number of plants. Not a garden. Especially if I do not prepare the soil, or care for the plants while they grow. This slapdash method may produce one or two viable vegetables or nothing.

A working garden needs a plan, action, and then follow-through. We first have to know what kind of soil we have, as well as what kind of weather, altitude and surroundings we are dealing with. Then we can add elements that will bring the soil into a fertile state. Determining the best use of soil for the kind of vegetables we would eat would be next. Then digging, hoeing, planting and watering would follow in the proper order. This series of events makes it more possible to reap a good, sustainable crop.This kind of approach is exactly the same for any kind of internal shift of awareness. If you want to change a habit, like preparing a garden, you need to know what kind of outcome you are aiming for. Random change equals random outcome.

First order of business will be to determine what kind of soil we’re dealing with. So, you ask yourself, “What habit do I want to change? And what do I want to change it to?”

So you notice that you have a habit of interrupting people, for example. And you want to change that to being present and patient enough to allow someone to finish speaking their thoughts or feelings. Here, we have to add one more element to make this shift. We have to ask, “Why do I interrupt?” This will require some interior sleuthing to get an honest answer. It might be because you fear you will forget what you want to say, or perhaps you are impatient, or feel you should correct the other person’s point of view. 

This is the time for you to look inside yourself to try source the seed of trouble. You can always ask for help. We have many tools available, even new ones appearing. It could be a therapist of some psychological modality. Maybe even one of the new counseling A.I.s would do the trick. You have to judge what kind of help you need, and then go forward with it until you find the root and pull it out, suppress it or replace it.

This may also be the time to consider that you are an experiment. Here you are in a confusing world, with a body that is survival-oriented, and a heart that seeks love and companionship. Everyone is dancing on the head of paradoxes. Which means you have the choice to try out different methods of what works best for you. As well as learning what choices are currently available to try.

Of course, this means there will be mistakes. Mistakes are awesome. They tell us that we have the possibility to learn something new. Through failure and mistakes is how we grow. If you do not want to grow, hold tight to perfection. It is probably the surest way to become static and begin to atrophy. 

Because every piece of life and matter is in a state of mutation, alteration, modulation and reconstruction, so taking yourself out of the flow of transposition means death. And that is your choice.

To enter the flow of continuous remodeling means you are maintaining a vital and vigorous life. Is there pain, struggle and hurt? Of course! To transform requires various types of heat: Thermal energy is the kinetic energy of vibrating and colliding atoms in a substance.

In the case of personal or spiritual change, we interpret this heat as a kind of pain, struggle or maybe depression, frustration or despair. The purpose of the tool of pain is to activate the necessity to change. Because I hurt, I need to do something to stop the pain. What will end the pain? Love, compassion and awareness often brings a reduction of torment. Also sincerity, humility and honesty.

We are talking about the internal or emotional discomfort when you realize you know nothing and are arrogant and conceited. And a lot of other unpleasant understandings. This kind of spiritual thermal energy prompts and initiates a desire to make a change in one’s attitude.

In terms of Sufism, we basically want to eventually remove everything that thinks it is separate and ‘right’, and replace it with honesty, clarity and love. We are speaking of why we say you must ‘die before you die.” Your old self needs to be buried. Have a nice funeral. Say goodby to someone we were once attached to.

You are worthy of this kind of change. You are worthy of love.

I am not talking about romantic love, or woowoo love of some distant imaginary god-like thing.

This is the kind of love that knows that everything, the whole universal package, the Galactic Circus is all connected. And you are part of this. You were born because of love.

Spiritually speaking, this is the hard part; to name the source of the problem and then doing something practical and clear-headed to reduce and remove its power over you.

There is no shortcut, no drug, pill, or magic sauce that will do it for you, because this must be done thoroughly, methodically and properly. Anything that works quickly will also disappear as quickly. This kind of change must literally change the wiring in your brain. By using the word literally, I mean: actually, really, truly; apparently, evidently, obviously; surely, certainly, definitely; positively, absolutely, undeniably, indubitably, unquestionably, indisputably.

Changing the brain’s neural network requires: intention, repetition, rewards, a sense of humor, patience, repetition, practice, repetition, and repetition. The result is a permanent alteration and reversal of the habit.

It is helpful to have a supportive group of friends when undergoing this reconstruction. Doing this by yourself is already beset with difficulties and problems. All the folktales about the hero setting out on a profound quest to defeat the dragon are about this. Anything that requires change through struggle and discomfort will result in change. It is of great consequence to know what the path is, and what you wish to accomplish. And then, expect to encounter the unknown. We can’t predict what demons and memories we will face. Nor will we come out of this pretty and nice. There will be blood. There will be heat.

You prepare the best you can by having a solid keel of purpose and connection. For Sufis, this is your Shaykh and the Tariqa. They are your lifeline, your connection, and are the keel of the little boat of your soul. Navigate towards Allah, the heart is your compass, the companions are the Prophets, Dervishes and Saints from all time, everywhere.