Balancing Heart And Mind

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Transcript

Speaker 2 0:20

Al Fatiha

Shaykh Ibrahim 0:55

Open for questions. I'm sure there are some questions people have.

Speaker 3 1:03

Okay, I have a question.

Speaker 1:13

So, in order to achieve that dream, I had is I've never forgotten that, like it's just never go out of my mind. But sometimes um I feel like why should I pursue that? And then it just goes up and down and up and down, and sometimes I'm just sitting there for many, many years in the middle. So when you're down, and then uh how to make yourself um one level up, uh-huh. See uh if we can continue to achieve those ideas and dreams once you think is very important.

Sufi View Of The Brain’s Doubter

Positivity Prayers And Zikr

Shaykh Ibrahim 1:49

Good question. We do hav , Ansari Sufi order, the the Tariqah has answers to that. Uh one of them is we have positivity prayers. Basically, how that how this works, Salam Mui, uh, is that our system, this million-year-old survival mechanism that we call our body, has in its hardwired survival mechanisms that the brain uses that are intended to keep us alive for another million years. One of those is the doubter or the um, let's look that over again because that was a really a mess. We really messed that up. We could do better. It can make us feel depressed, it can frustrate us because we want to be better. And for some of us, this is amped up even more for those of us who are perfectionists and want to do it right. To counteract that, just to be normal, we have to be more positive than what is given to us. This positivity requires effort just to be just to be balanced. Otherwise, we are in a continuous state of doubt, regret, guilt, and anything that makes us keep chewing over why things aren't successful. So we're built to be trying more and and to do better. In this kind of world that we're in, we're no longer battling um mammoths, saber-toothed tigers, and trying to chip away at heavy skins and wearing skins. We we are in we we haven't caught up to our technology nor our civilization and culture. Therefore, we need a little bit of help. And so we have, if you're interested, I can send this to you positivity prayers where you use Allah's names to create a feeling of balance. And that's kind of the intention of a lot of the Sufi training is how do we achieve a balance in a world that just seems either up or down or sideways? And it's always pushing and always we're we're always in a kind of paradoxical confusion of like, I want to be spiritual, but I got to pay the bills. Who's gonna do that? Why isn't God playing my bills if I'm gonna be spiritual? You know, this is kind of confusing, and like, why isn't this the way it's supposed to be that I think it should be, but it isn't? So the positivity prayers, things like Yahwadud, uh, Allah is love. Ya salaam, Allah is peace. There's these zikrs that we do, or if you want, you have affirmations that can do this. Like this one is the presence of peace, health, and prosperity. And you just repeat that over and over again just to get a feeling of like I'm not a failure, you know. So just brings us up to um, like I say, a set of balance. So even just kind of override that is very difficult. It takes a lot of effort. So what we're looking for is okay, there's the continuous betrayal of our brain uh to telling us that we we have messed up or that we're guilty or shame or whatever. There are purposes for those things. They actually have a purpose, and Allah has a great educational system if we see it for what it is without weaponizing it.

Speaker 9 6:05

Okay.

Imperfection, Guilt, And Growth

Shaykh Ibrahim 6:06

Alright. So yeah, thank you. So this is a continuing problem for human beings. It's difficult to stay positive all the time. We have the world and we make mistakes. Part of, I think, finding balance is to understand Allah made us to make mistakes. In my incomplete understanding of other worlds, as it were, the angels are made to be perfect, and all the others are made to bring things into uh smaller, like the the idea of shaitan and the idea of of difficulties, matter, the material world provides for us, tends to want to put us in little boxes. And the idea is that we're connected through Allah through our heart. But it's very difficult to stay, and this is kind of the other side of it. How the question, how do I stay connected to my heart, given the world is the way it is, especially at this moment in the state of the world with the war in Iran and spreading out, and an idiot in charge of everything having power. So I don't want to get into politics. I want to mostly talk about how to stay connected to the heart in the dark times. So the first is the understanding and acceptance that we are not perfect and that we learn through a couple different ways. That learning is by making mistakes and learning from the mistakes. The trick is to recognize the mistake, accept it, and say, I would like not to do that again. Now, Allah has provided a little incentive behind these mistakes. One is shame or guilt or regret. These are great motivators to have us do something about it. If we didn't have this painful conscience or this guilt or remorse, we wouldn't do anything about it.

Speaker 3 8:31

That means things are working properly.

Pain As A Teacher

Shaykh Ibrahim 8:36

However, people use these teachers and weaponize them to create conflict and to make you feel bad about yourself because they can be used in a manipulative kind of way. Like to make you feel guilty or to use passive aggressive or to use all these other what would have been helpful tools in a way to gain esteem or power or ego, narcissism of some sort. So recognizing that the original purpose of these is to help us grow and to use them in a positive way. So I can still remember the shame I felt when I made a misjudgment about somebody and felt so bad and remorseful that I go, I had to go, I don't want to judge people. I'm obviously not very good at it. Not only that, I am not the one to be a judge. Allah is the judge, Allah is hakim. So I would rather Allah do the judging, and I'll just try to do the best I can given what I've been given. But that motivator for me at that time was embarrassment and shame.

Speaker 3 10:06

Those are great. And to understand that mistakes are helpful for us to grow.

Shaykh Ibrahim 10:15

And it's good to make a mistake. And um, as someone once has said, I think it was me, failure is always an option.

Speaker 3 10:28

Failure is good. Failure teaches better than success.

Shaykh Ibrahim 10:32

There's more information in failure. Success means that you haven't learned anything. There's no, you know, so you can walk, you can put one foot in front of the other. Yay! You learned that. You learned how to tie your shoes. Can we move on? And so what this gives me is the idea that we need to keep growing, and growing isn't always comfortable. As a matter of fact, if you feel comfortable, enjoy it for the moment, but it's not gonna last if you want to continue to grow. Now, the other teacher that Allah has provided us is Pain.

Speaker 3 11:23

Pain is a fantastic teacher.

Shaykh Ibrahim 11:28

Um and anybody who's ever tried to build anything knows what the hammer on the thumb feels like.

Speaker 3 11:37

You weren't paying attention.

Shaykh Ibrahim 11:40

I better pay attention to what I'm doing. Or, you know, tripping over something, or you know, whatever, whatever it is. And the idea that that is being human. We we don't have a choice about that. This is what we've been given. However, if you look at it in the way of like, this is a blessing, Allah could have made us just what you are is what you are, and that's it. That's all you got. You can't do anything with it. How would you feel? Oh my god, there's nothing I can do about it. I uh this is a lock. That would be horrible. That would be a hell, wouldn't it? So, thoughts, comments on that?

Is Everything Perfect Or Incomplete

Speaker 5 12:33

Just have made us perfect so we didn't have to worry about the pain, and we could have also just been happy?

Shaykh Ibrahim 12:41

Yeah, except you couldn't have been perfect because there's always more. So that's kind of like it doesn't work. Allah is infinite, the worlds are infinite, the learning that we have is infinite, and you want to stop here. Yeah.

Speaker 13:05

A thing, um, the Rumi talks, um, like he he says that your mistakes can lead you to the truth. That is true. Right. So yeah.

Shaykh Ibrahim 13:16

But you have to accept it, and this is this is the hard part, is to go, you know what? Some friend of mine once said, it this is a place you have to get to. You know what? I suck. Or if you like, this one sucks. There's there's there's no perfection here, there's only learning and growing. If you were to say, oh no, everything's perfect just the way it is, we're going to enter a conflict of some kind at some point. Rosie, you have something to say?

Rosie 14:00

There are, and I have heard this from people in various traditions that do tell you that everything is perfect, everything is just the way it's supposed to be. And I've always took that, taken that as it's what it's supposed to be right now, so that we have the opportunity for something. It's perfect in that way, but it's also been kind of like, yeah, okay, perfect.

Shaykh Ibrahim 14:35

I I know what you mean. There there is a moment in awareness that you see things as in in going beyond Hakika. This is Mari Fett. You're seeing everything is just perfect, just the way it is. That doesn't mean you don't learn or that you don't make a mistake. It just means it's all set up fine. It's up to you to make it work for you and for you to grow from it.

Surrender And Being In Sync With Allah

Rosie 15:06

Those those glimpses, those moments are encouraging and satisfying. And it's like, oh, it brings hope. It's like, okay, yeah, I got a little piece of it, you know.

Shaykh Ibrahim 15:22

To to stay in that state, and we're talking about Merifat, you have to be so surrendered that you, and this is my how I understand it, that you're in synchronous motion and energy with Allah. That everything that's happening through your heart is that you are moving with it. And yeah, you may be learning, but you are in total sync with the energies that are flowing around, whatever they are, and you're there to do whatever needs to be done. You're still in service. And gratitude. Yes. That that is a state of awareness, and it is true, and it is incomplete, as Alhalaj found out. Does that make sense? Do you understand what I just said? Alameen, does that follow?

Speaker 9 16:27

Yes, sure. Yeah.

Speaker 3 16:30

Alhalaj, you know the the what I'm referring to.

Speaker 1 16:34

Yeah, the one that said uh was proclaimed that he's truth.

Shaykh Ibrahim 16:38

Yes. Ayin Al Haq.

Speaker 1 16:40

Yes.

Speaker 4 16:41

Yeah, Billy. Yeah, just on that one, knowing that that may be an incomplete state is encouraging to me. That kind of surrendering to yes, Allah is in us and Allah is Haqq. For now, for this little trip, we're just we are in this monkey thing, and that has to be like acknowledged. You have to surrender to that. So, yes, the truth is in this one, but the journey of this one includes the humility of not fully expressing that in this state. Yes, and that's a further progression, like to realize yes, I'm one with everything, but there's some sort of individuation, um, particularity that needs to happen to express that here and now. It's a bit more grounded and maybe painful than maybe

Enlightenment And Everyday Work

Shaykh Ibrahim 17:53

there's a Zen saying before enlightenment, chopping wood carrying water. After enlightenment, chopping wood, carrying water. So I yeah. Many of the other spiritual traditions say exactly the same thing. Uh especially Taoism and also probably Hasidism. So, Sunny, does this add up to see both sides? There are things that you can do, but the other part of it is accepting I'm incomplete, and even if I was to reach an enlightened state, I'm still incomplete.

Speaker 18:47

Yes, I completely understand. It's add up, yes.

When Identity Crumbles

Shaykh Ibrahim 18:51

So the the next part of that is how to keep learning in a positive way, and what to do with the learning, especially when you feel there's moments sometimes when it feels completely devastating, and the whole structure of who you are just kind of crumbles. All the walls come tumbling down, and you don't know who you are anymore. Without guidance, without any kind of direction, that can be devastating. In Sufism, that's like, oh good, now we can get started. That has to happen. There's a story of a young man who wanted to be successful in business. So he went to a Sufi Sheikh and he asked him, Listen, I want to I want to make a lot of money. I want to be successful. And the sheikh said, Okay, yeah, let's uh let's do that. Uh first I want you to go into the uh marketplace. Maybe there was a souk around, maybe it was a mall, and just to tell everybody, just wail out how incomplete and stupid you are, and that you're insane and that you're crazy, and that you have no idea what you're doing. So just rip your clothes and go into the mall and just tell everybody that. So he does, and he comes back kind of ashamed and everything. He says, Okay, now what? He says, Okay, get a tray and get some um nice glassware and put some perfume in it that's really nice, and go around and uh see if anybody would like to buy it. So he does and he sells a couple, comes back to the sheikh, and he says, Okay, I I I was able to sell all of them. He says, Okay, now take the money, open a stall in the in the mall. And he does, and he gets more and more business and becomes quite successful as they've been able to open some other uh stalls in other malls. And he goes back to the sheikh and he says, How did you know about this business thing? I thought you were a spiritual sheikh. He said, Well, listen, I just did what we do on a spiritual level, just the same thing. I found that really useful in a lot of ways. Okay, good question, Sonny. It's going to happen no matter what you do, no matter how you prepare, there will be times that you go up and sometimes you go down. The way I've I I sometimes have to think of it is imagine that we're on the ocean. And if you're a cork, you know, or uh anything, it's gonna go up and gonna go down. But if you have weight with you, if you go up, the weight's gonna pull you down. And so when you go down, you keep going down. The idea is to stay light and be able to take the ups and the downs and just kind of float along and know if you're going up, it's gonna go down. If you're going down, it's gonna go up. It's that env that's Life.

Speaker 22:00

I have a follow-up question. I have another question.

Speaker 2 22:03

Yes, sir.

Story: Humility Before Success

Speaker 22:04

So sometime with me is a little bit other way around. It's my personal experience. I don't want to have so much, but my soul wants me to take to that journey. What to do when you are in between? Sometimes it's interesting, you feel good, you want to do it, you want to do so big, and you can even feel it. That's it's it's so big that your mind can't comprehend sometimes, but then you can't be bothered to do so much because you're happy, you're already happy what you have, right? So uh your mind uh sometimes asks you questions like why bother doing so much, so big.

Shaykh Ibrahim 22:54

Are we talking about spiritual matters?

Speaker 22:57

Yeah, spiritual matters. So it's like when you have a uh fight between your mind or the world list or what uh it wants to do, and then you have this spiritual where you you see your soul is taking you to places which is far behind like too big, too big. So, how to to manage this the both worlds in a way that you're not thinking, you're not living in this world, you're just going through a spiritual.

Shaykh Ibrahim 23:33

I'm going to pass this over to the students and they will inform you.

Speaker 4 23:38

My first reaction was I thought you were talking about being really rich and having too much going on, and I was gonna say, you can give some of it to me.

Speaker 2 23:45

Lighten the load?

Speaker 4 23:48

But if you're talking about, oh man, too. I remember being in that place where things felt like they were going too fast. Is that what you mean? Like where the your sort of expansion, spiritual expansion is happening at a rate that you you're uncomfortable with.

Riding The Waves: Staying Light

Speaker 24:14

Um, yes, kind of. For example, I'll give you example. Um I'm happy what I have, but my soul wants me to have, for example, um hundred more branches of the business, help thousands of more people, and that's what I feel, for example. And I'm like, no, I can't be bothered, I'm happy. Like, I'm still doing the small things like to my limit, helping people off whatever I help I need. I get that help, I'm happy with it. But a soul kind of tells you, no, that's nothing like let's go to even bigger places. And then when you don't listen to your soul, you're not happy. And when you listen to your soul, you're like, oh my god, I have to do so much work now. It's just like too difficult.

Speaker 4 25:08

I wish my version of that came with lots of like business opportunities and money. I my soul just keeps take telling me to work with disadvantaged Aboriginal children that pay very well. But yeah, well, if it if it really is coming from your heart, and if it's what Allah wants, then you can try and get in the way, but it won't work very well. If it's not what Allah wants, you'll find out pretty quickly.

Speaker 7 25:33

Allah knows what's right for you. So sometimes it's doing more, sometimes it's doing less. Because our brains often take over and go, Oh, yeah, yeah, well, this is what I meant to be doing. And like I understand all of that and everything, whether that's like, oh, well, I'm in my company zone now. So I'm gonna stay here. And then it sounds like you might be getting the message to kind of do more.

Speaker 6 26:01

And our brains go, oh, but but I'm doing enough right now. Like, this is fine, sure, right? Is this what you're getting?

Heart Wants To Fly, Mind Wants Rest

Speaker 26:10

Yes, I'm 100% happy where I am. In fact, you can say, especially after getting married, I'm I feel like, oh no, if I need five dollars, I already have 10. So, not just in terms of money, but in terms of travel, um, overall helping my own family, friends. And I'm like, I just let me sleep, let me relax a bit. It's been a long time I've been working, but soul is like, nah, this is we worked hard to keep you here so you can fly from here. Like, it's like soul is telling me you just came to the runway, it's the time to fly. And I'm like, nah, I'm happy to stay in the runway.

Speaker 7 26:50

I just keep going around and I mean like healthy box, I don't need more. Thank you.

Speaker 26:57

And funny, funny thing is the offer, but thank you. But funny thing is, with the soul, I'm scared to fly now because it's up there. I'm so used to it's newer, it's different, right?

Speaker 7 27:12

Yeah, there's there's a lot going on in your brain. So, but but but no, I'm good. I'm good here. And if if the message is coming from your heart, from Allah, then he's saying, Well, it's time to change up.

Speaker 27:23

Yeah, it's time to do more. Yeah, funny thing is that I'm scared to do that, and I can't stop thinking about it. Like my big, big upper mind is always thinking about it. Uh, what if what I'm not doing? Like, it feels like somebody's reminding me, nah, you're not doing something you should be doing, like uh, and then you do it, you're scared, and like, give me something so I can do it. Leave me alone, like let me live.

Speaker 1 27:51

I can sort of relate a little bit, I mean, but just for me, I'm not sure if this helps, is that sometimes there's different parts of me that want this and want that, and so it's been a process of getting to know which part is talking, and sometimes whether it's my brain or it's my heart, there it's sort of two very different. Yeah, so I think all I could say is maybe you get to know the part that's telling you that, and yeah, it's just sort of saying, Well, is it coming from my heart or is it coming from a uh is it a a a different voice that's coming from my mind or my brain, which is which is very different from you know messages coming from the heart.

Speaker 28:39

Yeah, heart, um heart ones to fly and mind ones to stay. It's just it is.

Discerning Heart From Nafs

Speaker 1 28:46

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's it's it's sort of just it's learning to understand, as Shaykh says how you work when reflect on my my journey. I've been there's been voices that have pushed me into certain directions. Do this, do that. But as a little bit more understanding comes in, I'm beginning to understand that this voice that sometimes I would describe as whether my my soul or my heart is not really that it is something, maybe a voice that's come from somewhere else. That's my experience. And then when it's if it's coming from somewhere, if that voice is coming from somewhere else, then you think, well, how real is it? Not sure if that helps for anyone.

Speaker 9 29:36

Oh, okay. Thank you.

Outer And Inner Confirmation

Rosie 29:37

I guess about 10 days ago, I had an experience where just out of the blue, a message came and something I had not thought of, considered. And I literally physically looked around and went, yeah, I get the point. Okay, wow, all right, let's think about this and take this in. Okay, good advice, and then over the next couple days, I tried to talk myself out of it. Like, no, you don't really need to do that, no, here's this, here's that, there's that, all these different reasons to not do what I was advised to do, and then the reverse was it was like, wait a minute, this just came out of the blue. This was not something I was kind of thinking, oh, I want this, and how can I get this? Oh, no, it was just boom. I'm stupid if I don't pay attention when something comes like this. I know that from experience. So, okay, David and I talked about it and decided, all right, let's pursue this. And once we did that, everything just went so smoothly, better than we could have ever even imagined. And and then some, I think it was just like wow, okay, thank you. I I got the message, and we acted upon it, and yeah, so that was a very different sort of experience than often happens, but it it was just like wow, okay, our mind and our heart do need to work together. Allah gave us both of them, and so I guess in this case that I went through just recently, I guess I had to go through that no logic, logic, logic side of it, and then come out of that and pay attention to the advice and the message.

Speaker 7 32:25

So thank you. For me, the way it had always been had been really difficult. But my brain was like, but this is what Allah wanted me to do six years ago. So, why is it meant to be the opposite now? And that feels really strange, but I could not compute it. My brain's like, but but but you said this before. You said this before, this is what I was meant to be doing, and now you're telling me to not do that thing. And I'm like, but why? How? What's happening here? And um you're right, Rosie. Once I kind of accepted, okay, well, it's time to change tactic and do it a different way, and stop doing what I'm doing that was I wasn't realizing was kind of causing me pain because I was getting in the way. My nafs, my different parts of me that weren't confident and stuff like that were getting in the way. And I decided to change things up. Everything's just become a whole lot easier. And Allah gives you the light path, shall we say? The the easy. So if this is a message for you, Sunday, that's coming in from your heart, from Allah, it's gonna be easy and it's gonna be smooth, inshallah. Thank you, Manda.

Facing The Fear That Persists

Shaykh Ibrahim 33:50

Yeah. I think what helps too is asking the right question. How you ask is important. Very often what our sheikh would say would would be Is this something you want for me Allah? Or to ask, Allah, help me know what is best for me. Then you are asking the right one in the right way. I want to do the right thing. What is this the right thing for me? Then the next part of that is how to listen. Yeah, there is the heart and there is the nafs. And usually the difference, at least for me, is if it starts with I that's usually nafs.

Speaker 3 34:52

I want this, I want to do this, I want me, you know, that kind of stuff.

Shaykh Ibrahim 34:58

That's nafs. If it comes in as going, you know, it'd be good if uh if we did this. And if it comes from the heart and it feels like and you try and get rid of it and it just it doesn't go away. Not that you should argue with it. That because the the way the heart works is if you want to argue with it, it'll just go away. It really is not interested in that. It's not interested in logic, it's not interested in any of that kind of stuff. It's interested in being in being happy in the sense of being what it does is it makes us feel content, that it makes us feel whole. The brain very often makes me feel kind of fractured. Like, yeah, this part's okay, but this part I don't know. I'm I'm gonna ignore that. But that's not whole. We want to be a whole human being in Sonic. So to do that, we need to identify the voices that we hear or the feelings that we have. Sometimes, well, we use uh Zahir and Batin as our guide for finding out what is true, what's the reality here. So we want to get an outer and an inner confirmation. We don't want to depend on one or the other. That's the balance that we're looking for. So let's say, yes, I want to take a trip. I want to, I want to go somewhere, I want to get on the plane, I want to fly. Okay, that starts with I. Okay, okay, that's not real helpful. So I need to get some kind of feeling of like, okay, that's that's what I'm getting from inside. What am I getting from outside? And there you turn your observation skills to what's going on around you and see if anything from the outer world is giving you a thumbs up or thumbs down or a nothing. And you determine using these tools to come to some kind of conclusion. Uh sometimes I find if I'm getting this feeling or a voice that's coming out, well, you should do this, uh, or this is happening, and I don't trust my imagination because it's overactive. I want to, I'll I'll just deny it and I say, no, I don't believe it. And if it comes back two more times, I'll go, okay, this looks like it's a happening thing. I think I need to address it in some way that seems to be appropriate. So it's up to you. You know, part of this, as we've said, is you learning you, how you work. How do we get you, or how do you get you synchronized with Allah? So that you can hear what your heart is saying and accept it. And then you're also going to get stuff from your your brain and your mind and your nafs, and you go, okay, what do I do with that? Again, asking Allah, okay, I'm not sure what's going on here. Could I have some guidance, please? Allah, what is best for me in this situation? And then shutting the f up and listening, and however long it takes to get an answer that your heart goes, Yeah.

Speaker 3 38:32

Okay. I'm sorry, that's a little graphic, but uh that's kind of what works for me.

Shaykh Ibrahim 38:42

Usually I'll I'll I'll argue and I'll I'll I'll come up with all kinds of really good reasons. And my heart's going, eh, no. Remember what I was talking about? Can we go back to that? So the heart's very quiet. It isn't insistent unless you're really starting to go off the filter. You know, sometimes it's about also just like realizing maybe it's something to try and see how it goes. This is also a way of learning about the heart. That you go for it and you go, okay, I'm gonna find out if this is heart or whether I'm out of my mind. So you go and you and and you try it out. Now, this is another aspect of learning. I didn't touch on it before, but this is the one we call facing your fears. And usually it's the one that's like in your face, and you really would rather it not be there, and that you have you have much better ideas about how to deal with nafs, but there's this one that's in your face and you can't get rid of it. That's the one you don't want to deal with. That's the one you have to deal with. So, if this a thing that keeps coming back, it means you need to find some appropriate way to deal with it that it can go away or become whatever it needs to be next. Maybe it's part of your growth. I do not know, only you will know. But again, asking the right question, Allah, what is best for me in this situation? And then listening. I don't know the answer because this is your Sulu. This is your path. Nobody has your path.

Closing Blessings And Goodbyes

Speaker 2 40:58

So take the steps, and as they say in uh old Jewish Buddhism, the journey of a thousand miles begins with one oh my back? Oh god, what is going on here? Oh jeez.

Speaker 41:17

Yeah, the everyone's answer when I join it kinds of give me a picture. Yeah.

Speaker 3 41:24

Good. Thank you. You're welcome.

Rosie 41:27

I have experience that when something comes along, you know, a feeling about something, or you get a real an actual audio message or an image of something, and it's completely not the way you usually think, or the way you usually look at something, or what you can, you know, just those are the things to pay attention to because they really it's like, no, turn and look at this. Sunny you say, I'm happy, I'm I'm in my space, I'm everything things are good, things are balanced. Why would I want to leave this? So but as Shaykh says, it's your salute and your choices. So InshaAllah, everything will go beautifully, and you will learn. We will learn.

Speaker 4 43:14

alamnow. One way or another. All the great heroic stories start like that. Come on, adventure. No, I don't want to. I'm fine, I'm happy now. S

Speaker 1 43:18

Thank you, Shaykh. Thank you, everyone. Thank you, Shake, everybody. Have a good time.

Speaker 7 43:23

Salam