Obstacles to Opportunities
When faced with life's obstacles, let's channel that negative energy into positivity and forge opportunities. Throughout the nation, business owners will share their experiences of triumphing over daunting challenges in their careers and lives, illustrating how they've harnessed these experiences for growth opportunities.
Obstacles to Opportunities
Overcoming Life's Toughest Challenges
In this emotionally charged episode of "Obstacles to Opportunities," your hosts Jess Powell and Heather Caine bravely bare their souls to explore the profound question: What has been your BIGGEST life obstacle? Get ready for an intimate journey into the lives of these two incredible women as they share the raw, unfiltered stories that have shaped them into the resilient individuals they are today.
Jess Powell takes center stage as she opens up about a tragic event from her past that has cast a looming shadow over her life. Jess reveals the deep-seated fear that has become a constant companion, challenging her at every turn. Join us as she confronts this fear head-on, sharing how she navigates the complexities of life and discovers the strength within herself.
Heather Caine, ever the beacon of strength, sheds light on her personal struggles with the educational system and the relentless narrative in her mind that she's not smart enough. With refreshing honesty, Heather recounts the uphill battle she faced in school and how these challenges fueled her determination to prove everyone wrong. Through laughter and introspection, Heather shares the empowering journey of embracing her unique intelligence.
Jess and Heather find common ground in their ability to transform adversity into resilience. Join them as they discuss how these seemingly insurmountable obstacles have become stepping stones to building richer, more fulfilling lives. Discover the power of vulnerability, the strength in sharing our stories, and the triumph that comes from facing life's toughest challenges head-on.
Subscribe to the "Obstacles to Opportunities Podcast" for more empowering stories of individuals who have navigated life's challenges and emerged stronger on the other side. Join us on this journey from obstacles to opportunities!
Welcome to the Obscoles Opportunities podcast. I'm your host, jess.
Speaker 2:Powell, and I'm your co-host, heather Kane, and today is a little different. It is Just the two of us sitting here. It's the two of us, but I feel like we have so much to unpack, right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm feeling like a little nervous. You know, I think, because we're both about to get really raw and vulnerable, and that's uncomfortable it is and I feel for our guests because I think a lot of them have said when they come in they're talking about big things and they're spilling their guts and so sometimes that can like dredge up some nerves. So I'm definitely feeling how probably our other guests have felt.
Speaker 2:So today we're actually talking about some of our biggest obstacles that Jess and I have had, and I'd like to start with you first, absolutely Okay. So, jess, when it comes to life, what would you say is your number one obstacle that you have?
Speaker 1:I would say an overarching thread has been anxiety. I know a lot of people deal with anxiety. It's nothing unique to me, but I always think about anxiety as like situational. Or is it like chemical, like medical? Is it something that you've kind of gone through that created the anxiety, or is it something that it's just like a balance? Yeah, and you're naughty. I would say that my anxiety began because of situational type things in my life and I go back to when I was younger. Here we go. It's like I'm in therapy. I lay down on the couch.
Speaker 1:When I was younger I was probably nine my dad, as we talked about in, I think, the one podcast. He was a well-known musician when I was growing up and I remember the smells of that day. I remember my mom making spaghetti and I walked into the kitchen and she told me to get on the ground, get down, because there was a window. Right by where I was standing there was a man that was sitting in our front yard and he had like kind of camped himself out front and my mom was in the process of like calling a neighbor to see if they could come and see what his deal was. Because we lived in the country. That was very odd for some land and he looked off. So our neighbor comes and he's a very, very large man and immediately we notice an altercation and he starts fighting with this guy. So we have no clue what's going on. At this point we're kind of walking around the house. And your dad was not home. No, my dad was really in the after. Was he on tour? Yes, yes, so it was always like me and my mom in this house in the country. Do you have a sibling? No, really, yeah, okay, not when I was younger. So he is fighting with this guy and we're walking around the house. We're kind of watching this all unfold Before we know it. Our neighbor is on the ground and he's not moving. And the guy starts coming up to the front door trying to get in. So my mom and I locked ourselves on the top floor we're calling the police, locked ourselves in and thankfully he didn't get in. But he was karate shopping the door.
Speaker 1:I still can imagine what that sounds like and we didn't know what his deal was, why he was trying to get in or anything. The cops come and our neighbor ended up having like he was a avid runner. He ended up having like major knee replacement where he couldn't run again. He was extremely, you know, beat up over this and the guy his story was he thought that my mom was a musician in the band. He got the whole story confused, thought that she was Lisa Milano who was the violinist in John Mellencamp's band and thought we were his family. And he was so out of his mind on drugs and he had some mental health issues that he thought we were his family and was like trying to get us. So that's kind of the horror of like what happened when I was younger and then he kind of came in and out of jail so we never knew if he was going to be like showing up at our house, yeah. So I say, oh, that's a very traumatic story.
Speaker 2:But did they and he never got caught?
Speaker 1:or did the okay, he got caught. He went. He was just in and out of jail. His parents had quite a bit of money so they were able to just like bail him out and get him out of it. So he was just in the background. He never did.
Speaker 2:But that instilled a. Obviously you even remember the senses of that experience. That instilled a situational anxiety for you Like that.
Speaker 1:I'm not safe. Yeah, you know like. You just don't know when something like that's going to happen again.
Speaker 2:So how do you feel like that has affected you in other situations in your life?
Speaker 1:Oh, I just feel like that was kind of the beginning of a lot of just unhealthy thought processes for me, you know, yeah, and some things I had to work through later to really kind of. I really think my, my faith life kind of intersected at a point. There was like a second traumatic event that happened in my life which I it's like all short story I had two stepbrothers both passed away within 11 months of each other, right before I left for college. So I had a younger brother that was a year older than me and then another stepbrother car this is your dad or your, my stepdad's kids. And so I'm telling all this because there were certain events that really and the you know it was a car crash and then the second woman was a murder, was drug deal gone bad, that ended up in like court and everything. So I kind of witnessed and went through all this.
Speaker 1:I had no faith in my life. During these points in which all this happened, I I didn't even know. I didn't know, like, what I believed. I thought there was probably a higher power, but I didn't know what I believe. So I was kind of untethered is the best way to put it Like I was very untethered, and so those two incidences. I left for college literally a week after the murder. After the murder was when I was supposed to go to college that first year. I don't think anyone knew how messed up my mind was at that point. I was sleepwalking, I was drinking too much. I was, you know, it was not in a good place. You were trying to numb yourself. Yeah, I was trying to kind of forget that that all happened.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and so. So how did you get to a place where you found peace in your life?
Speaker 1:I would say it ended up coming about through my face and it was actually thanks to Brian he I met him right here.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I met him and he really grew up with like a strong matriarch of the family like you know, building in him, like you know good, you know kind of morals and just like face and you know just really good, good upbringing. And so when we met he kind of brought me back around to it a bit and before you know it, after college I would say, is when everything kind of started sorting out for me and we started attending a church and I just started realizing that all these things you know happened in this world but it's not of God's intention and that he's a loving God and and that you can call on him whenever you feel anxiety. And I felt like I was just kind of living in this place of letting things happen to me. And then whenever I started, you know, really like practicing faith and like building my relationship with God, like things just kind of started falling into place and I found more peace.
Speaker 2:That's amazing, just. It just shows everyone has a story, right, you can't judge a book by its cover, you know, because you look at Jess and she's this strong, beautiful, independent, insanely awesome mom, incredible businesswoman, and I could. Like I'm in tearing up like, as I'm saying this, and you just don't understand or know, like, what someone's been through that gets them to where they are today, right, and that's, that's a beautiful story. I mean, it's awful, right, no one should ever have to go through anything like that, but that has built you to the woman you are today.
Speaker 1:Yeah. And so some people say, well, why do you? Because that, so some of the redemptive side of this, like I feel like there's always redemption and stories and especially if you're a woman of faith, you look for those things and there are some beautiful things that have come out of this Kind of dark, dark points in my life. My mom is like, was always like my rock. I mean, she was like the person that was there those round. We were the ones hiding in the bathroom. Her and I have such a close relationship and she does not live in fear. My mom does not live in fear and she really, really modeled that and she was like she continues to be adventurous, she continues to like get out of this. She could have had all the reasons to not do that and so it's amazing just to see her overcome those things that she went we went through together. And then my stepdad obviously lost both children, just a little seed of hope, and you know I have two boys and they're so close with him and my oldest it's like his fecking chance, right, it's beautiful to watch, I mean, and we, you know, when people pass, it's actually really important. People don't, you don't know how to act. It's really important to bring them up and talk about them, and so I always ask like oh, what were Kyla and Nathan doing at this age? Dave, and I'll like ask them like, oh, does this remind you of them? Oh, yeah, you know, and my oldest was.
Speaker 1:The fall time frame was always like the most difficult. Like I said, they passed away within 11 months of each other. It was always a difficult time in the fall. My son was born on the day almost to the minute that his youngest died, and whenever I went into labor, he was kind of like oh, not this day, not this day, and it I mean it was in the middle of the night. It was like 3 am when he passed, and that's when Cohen was born. And there's a redemption in that, in that we have something to celebrate instead of born yeah, born in that time. So God is good to bring about all this.
Speaker 2:They don't always see it in that moment, though, julie, oh no.
Speaker 1:But it's there's. There's some beauty in some of that. I feel like God has taken such good care of us, and you know so yeah, that's incredible.
Speaker 2:Yes, I had no idea.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's a lot and it's a lot, it's a lot. But I feel like everyone has things like that and I mean you kind of shared. You've shared something even before we jumped on here, that you like have dealt with. You know your whole life, yeah.
Speaker 2:For me it's limiting belief. You know, I feel like I feel like not to say that I have something to prove in life. But so as a kid I was just. I was never I hate to say smart. You know, I was always kind of told by my teachers that I was dumb, and I was always. I never lived up to the expectation from my peers that I was intelligent. I always was at the bottom of every testing, at the bottom of everything, and I had to work really, really, really hard to get myself to be even close to where everyone else is.
Speaker 2:And it's funny, my youngest daughter is dyslexic and I always wondered if I am as well and just never got diagnosed with it.
Speaker 2:Because I'm creative, I'm more of that, visionary, and it was so funny. We were watching Shark Tank last night and that of the five sharks, three of them are dyslexic and I thought, you know, and they were talking about how people that are dyslexic, you know, one side of their brain, the side of their brain that is very methodical, that is very analytical, is not strong, but the creative, visionary side is strong and when you're dyslexic, the methodical side actually gets weaker and the other side gets stronger, which is why so many entrepreneurs like Walt Disney, albert Einstein, leonardo da Vinci, like they were all dyslexic because that side of the brain got so much stronger. So but I think for me it helped. It was a lot of confidence issues. You know, I always I really struggled in the category and I feel like I had to. I just I had to double down on everything. But I will say I'm so grateful for it because I am who I am today and I'm most. I mean I always took rounds. I know we can out hustle me, right.
Speaker 1:I think, if you just live with a little fire behind you all like you know, it's just you had to innate in you and it probably started from the beginning because you had to hustle. Yeah, couldn't skate through life.
Speaker 2:I could not skate through life. And I think too. I like, if something hits me or something bad happens or something happens, like, instead of feeling defeated, I like literally I get excited and it's like game time, and I don't know why I'm that way. I I love challenges, I love proving myself that I can do something. It doesn't scare me, which is a gift, and I think a lot of that came from the fact that I'm just not naturally I want to say smart, because that sounds terrible, but you know what I mean Like I think it's more like what we were saying is, you know, like a book smart?
Speaker 1:Yeah, school's one thing, right. I mean, yeah, putting you in a box, you have to take these tasks, you have to read something. I mean, if you're dealing with any kind of mental, I mean I know one of my, one of my kids, he, he definitely is like a slower processor, yes, and so it's like time tests are hard. You know, if you're dealing with possible dyslexia, I mean, it's not that, it's the tradition. I hate this. It's like they put us in a box. Yeah, right, well, it's additional smart.
Speaker 2:And it's so funny because I've never been an employee Like I can't Like, really Like.
Speaker 1:I can't work. You've never had like a manager or a boss.
Speaker 2:No, Really no Like not even at a young age. So I mean, I was like a server, okay, you know. But so here's my thought process and this has always been my process. You know, in college I, I was married. That's a whole nother story and it's in itself. I married my high school sweetheart, who you are at 14. It's definitely not who you are as an adult. And I ended up divorced, but when I was, I always wanted to be the boss, like I.
Speaker 2:I know that sounds terrible, but like I started, I worked in an apartment complex as a leasing consultant because I needed discount on rent, because I had to pay all my bills right, and my ex-husband at the time was in getting his master's and he couldn't work. So I was the sole breadwinner and also going to school full time, okay. So I got a job in an apartment complex to get a discount rent. But I only took the job at the apartment complex because there was a GM position available and I knew that if I proved to them within a very quick time that I could manage and run the place and I did I managed and ran 365 units.
Speaker 2:You know most of my, most of my college experience. And I, that's just who I am. I think, like I don't want someone to hold, I want, I don't want to work for anyone. Like I don't, I don't do well with it, like because what happens is is people want to put me, put me in a box, and when someone tries to put me in a box, I literally want to punch them. That would be bad, that would not be good.
Speaker 2:Okay, which is why I love being a broker in real estate, because everyone's an independent contractor and they can do whatever that I mean like right, you know. Like you're not an, we were associates. You don't work for me, you're not an employee. You can build your business Like I love helping people grow a business, and never put anyone in a box. Like I, just that, and I think it's because I just have this innate fire in me where I don't ever, I don't want to work for anyone, I don't want to be in a box.
Speaker 1:It's so fascinating, though, because, as like the gig economy has like blown up and as like all these opportunities online have popped up, and like people are getting so much more creative with their work, you know there's so many more people that don't have bosses yeah, they're. They're kind of just piece-mealing these jobs together or they're creating their own jobs, and I think honestly and I would love to hear if anyone you know that's listening things differently but I think once you, if you have that in you, to like become your own boss, once you get in that space, it's hard to go back.
Speaker 2:I mean the idea of being accountable to someone like so, for a small extent in my life. This year I was in a leadership role for a large corporation and I was what's called a community leader, and what happened is it was an incredible opportunity, but there were. I had, I had a lot of accountability and a lot of things, and you know it's funny, I do all of those things but I don't want someone to tell me when to do it or how to do it or when to get it to them. But I do it all. I just don't like you, so you're not thriving in that environment. I don't thrive. Like no, no, I don't. You like to be in charge of your to-do list. I do, and I'll do it when I want to do it and don't tell me when I need to do it. You know what I mean. Like that's, but I will do it.
Speaker 1:You know what I mean.
Speaker 2:Just one of those. I mean I think you're the that person, but what I will say is someone like myself who is that way, and if you are listening and you are that way, there is a place for you in this world to be an entrepreneur, to start all of that. That is definitely an obstacle that I've had in my life. I'm not the sharpest knife in the drawer, but I will out hustle everybody else to get myself there. So, you know, don't let that deflate you. You know, think about what your gifts are that God gave you and use those gifts to get you to where you need to be. And I think you're a very sharp.
Speaker 1:I think you're like doing very innovative and creative things. That, like this, is the thing about the box, right, when you're putting people on a box. I remember vividly I have a son. He's not in a box.
Speaker 1:I went to his preschool and we were supposed to make these cute little you know crafts together and he's, you know, he's at preschool. We put our hands together and we're making it and I'm trying to make it look real pretty. And I turn around and he's taken the whole canvas and he's just made it all orange. He smeared it, he took a different color even and just started painting the whole thing. And there was a moment where I kind of got embarrassed.
Speaker 1:And I got because I looked around and everyone else had these gorgeous crafts, super cute, made with like little hands and stuff, and ours was just an orange canvas. And I had this moment where I was gonna, you know, say something to him and be like, oh, buddy, like a bubba, bubba. I started thinking about it. I was like, but this is so him yeah, he's the orange canvas, just let him be it, he's just and and I always tell people like with his brain he could possibly figure out how to like cure cancer that takes out of the box thinking, and that's what we need more of.
Speaker 2:So you're a great mom, and not to say that my, my mom's absolutely amazing, and it's not my mom, it's probably everybody else that was in my life. I think the reason why I am the way I am is everyone tried to get me do the pretty him prince, when I was that war, I was like your son. I wanted to paint the whole thing orange, but everyone kept telling me that's wrong. You're, you don't do that and and I think that's probably why I have this innate feeling is don't put me in that box or I will punch out the wall.
Speaker 1:Well, I love, I love that you're strong in that, though, and I don't like hearing you say that you're not the sharpest knife in the drawer, like, because that's not true.
Speaker 2:Well, I mean, you know you're right, I I'm the funniest thing about it as I'm probably I'm a very confident woman. Yeah, there's nothing about me that's not confident, it's, I think. I think the version of saying that was just that, like I'm, I'm not the person that's gonna get the highest SAT scores, not the person who's gonna get straight A's I never was, but I will be the innovator, I will be the visionary. I will come up with creative solutions that no one else can. So the purpose of that is that if you're not that person that that is getting all that, don't let that. Think that that's gonna prevent you from having a successful career in life. Just use that to drive something else.
Speaker 1:You know that's the hard thing about the and, and I Thankfully went to a Montessori school when I was younger, which is a type of learning where they figure out what you're good at, yeah, and they let you do that. So I was that, like when I was in second grade I was writing stories all day and they were fine with that. Yeah, let me write stories. I mean, of course I'd have to go to math, science, whatever, but they would let me just creatively like develop the thing that I'm like good at, and and so then you kind of build confidence right and now.
Speaker 1:But what I think is interesting is, like you said, with society and like what you, what you're telling kids, like a young age and things like that, like I'm very sensitive to people, like even coming up to my son and be like so what sport do you play? That is the first thing everyone asks, both boys, and the oldest doesn't play sports, and he feels that every time, and so I have to tell him. You can say I don't play sports, but I do this, this and this. I'm coaching him Because people will oh, do you like school, heather? How do you like? What's your favorite subject? I probably like I hate it. I hate school, yeah, and instead of being like well, school's not my thing, but I love gymnastics and I love you know, and I just I don't know. I guess I just say that because I don't even think people think about it. They're not consciously thinking about you. Know what they're saying to kids and how I can make them feel.
Speaker 2:You know I grew up military and so most of the kids were military as well and I was actually probably the minority in my school growing up. It was very diverse, which was awesome. I loved it, but there was no room for them to find your gift and help you progress in my gift. You know everyone kind of had to be put in this box, push through, but I'm grateful for that. The funniest thing about it is, I think it did Because I was forced. It created this fire in my soul that won't ever allow that to happen again. But looking back, you look at like I was forced my entire childhood to be in a box and so the second I didn't have to be anyone that created a fire in me to never allow that to happen again, which is why I've never been an employee.
Speaker 1:That's fascinating. I mean and I've been a lot of people probably feel like that. Maybe school's not your thing. Maybe school's not your thing, you know, it's OK. It's OK. We need creative, smart, brilliant, out-of-the-box people.
Speaker 2:You know it's funny, though I'm going to say something that kind of contradicts everything that I just said. So I in school I was that way. But when I went to college and a lot of I remember thinking so when I graduated high school, I actually failed out of community college. I went to community college and I mean my parents kicked me out of the house, oh wow yeah, and I realized I went to go get a job and I realized I was doing better than everybody else in the job but yet they were making more money than me and it pissed me off because I'm like, but they had college degrees and I didn't. So then I was like, fine, I'll go to college.
Speaker 2:So I went to college and I had a professor that got me and that changed my entire learning. I graduated in 3 and 1 half years with straight A's and it wasn't until I learned how to study and to understand. I went and got a deferring in marketing and that was my jam because I was creative, and so I used the skill set that they taught me in that to master all of my other subjects and I feel like then I actually loved school and so much I loved it, so much that I never wanted to stop. I went straight through, I never took a break. So I think it's all about learning the way your brain works and feeding your brain the way it needs to be fed in order to maximize the potential out of it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I can see that. I mean, I do think once you become cognizant of the fact that, hey, I'm not going to study like my friend does, I'm not going to learn like you do, I remember I had to create. I'm very visual. I had to create all these flash cards in college, me too, and that's how I learned, and I can visualize the flash cards when I got to the test. Yep, but that was how I got through things. Well, brian, my husband, who rolls up to class, listens, absorbs it and can do a test.
Speaker 2:That's not me when I became a broker. I laugh. I still have my postcards with my rubber bands and I had a. Oh yeah, I literally have every subject and I have 100 postcards for everything, like OK, this is law, this is this and that's. But I see it so I can read it. But if it's on a flat and if I write it out and I study it, I can see it and I can even dissect it. So if it's asked a different way versus what I wrote, I understand it better. Isn't that funny? It is.
Speaker 1:I know Same way. I used to fold the cards over and just set them up in categories. Yeah, me too, and I can visualize it all. I mean, for my real estate exam, my whole dining room was filled. Yeah, it is. It is Like I think it can sometimes just be. You know, as you get older, you figure out how you work and then something clicks. Yeah, and also being in a subject that you really are passionate about and care about, that's different too. Yeah, you know, yeah.
Speaker 2:So I think what our recap of this is is that situations can definitely spark something in our soul that strikes, anxiety strikes. For me was like that fire right, and that's what makes us who we are today.
Speaker 1:It does, and we, I mean, have some crazy stories that go along the way, because life is just one big adventure honestly, yeah Well, thank you for sharing, jess.
Speaker 2:I know that was tough, you too.
Speaker 1:Gosh, we're putting each other in the hot seat today, but it's been good and I even though we didn't have a guest, I just love being able to kind of sit down and talk about the realness of the day in between meetings and all this, and you know, it's always great.
Speaker 2:We have so much more to come. We've only scratched the surface of all the obstacles that we've experienced as moms, as wives, as business owners, as mothers and daughters of people that we love, so we can't wait to share more with you. Thank you so much for tuning in today.
