Obstacles to Opportunities
When faced with life's obstacles, let's channel that negative energy into positivity and forge opportunities. Throughout the nation, business owners will share their experiences of triumphing over daunting challenges in their careers and lives, illustrating how they've harnessed these experiences for growth opportunities.
Obstacles to Opportunities
Transforming Lives: Ronda Zillner on Personal and Professional Growth
As a candid, supportive, and insightful coach, Ronda draws from her personal experiences with trauma and navigating challenging life transitions to guide others. She empowers them to courageously tap into their strengths, gain clarity on their goals, and take the steps needed to move forward.
Ronda was the visionary founder and CEO of Zillner Marketing Communications in Kansas City, a trailblazer in the upscale senior living sector. During a time when it was uncommon, she fostered a culture where working parents, including herself, could balance hands-on parenting with thriving careers. After nearly 25 successful years, Ronda sold her company to a private equity firm and shifted her focus to coaching, mentoring, and pursuing other passions.
A member of the Kansas City Business Journal’s Women Who Mean Business, Ronda has also served on the Advisory Board of Workplace Healing and as an advisor to the Metropolitan Organization to Counter Sexual Assault (MOCSA). She is the founder of The Crowded Table, a prototype supper club that demonstrates how sharing a meal with strangers can lead to non-judgmental insights, open hearts, and deeper connections.
Additionally, Ronda is a published writer, speaker, workshop facilitator, coach, and entrepreneur. Her extensive background in mentoring leaders and navigating life informs her work. She has written curricula and taught classes through Compassion Fix, a community founded by Ginger Rothhaas that helps people open their hearts to the pain of others and themselves, allowing for greater connection, love, peace, and joy.
An avid reader and podcast enthusiast, Ronda is a curious, adventurous spirit who loves learning from the fascinating people she encounters. She marvels at the diverse ways people interpret God's intentions for their lives and finds beauty in the fact that there’s no one-size-fits-all answer.
Proud mother of two adult children who continue to inspire her, Ronda is passionate about personal growth—even, and especially, during times when it's difficult. She provides a confidential, safe space for clients to reflect, share, dream, and grow. Through her coaching, she helps others become positive agents of change in their own lives.
welcome to the obstacles to opportunities podcast. My name is jess powell and I am your host today. I have ronda zellner in the house and I am yay, I'm so excited that for you guys to meet her. I mean we met through a mutual friend who said we needed to meet, and she was right, and I always love that, don't you? Oh, I do. I love when they say, oh, I, you know, you could just like imagine it's like a matchmaker for friends, you know. So I love that we had such a great lunch and I would say Rhonda to me had a very unique perspective on helping women, specifically in business, and empowering women and also just creating safe spaces for people to really cultivate and grow.
Speaker 1:She is a mother of two. She is going to be getting married soon, which is exciting. She's a published writer, speaker, coach and retired CEO of the second largest national marketing firm dedicated to senior living. Did I get that right? You got it right? All right, I did it Okay. So, guys, I mean so much to unpack with Rhonda, unpack with Rhonda. I always love when I get coaches in here because I it seems like that you would, in a coaching or mentorship kind of capacity, always be like you would always be kind of the you know be offering wisdom around. You know obstacles because you know our theme is obstacles to opportunities and you know just women, successful women don't get there often easily and so we're really kind of you know just kind of unpacking that, like when you let's start kind of from the beginning of your career. I'm sure you weren't always a coach, so you started kind of.
Speaker 2:Yes, I was not always a coach. I was not qualified to be a coach early on. But what I was fortunate is that I had a lot of people who sort of became coaches. I mean, they weren't called that back then, but it was a matter of having people who saw something in me and took some time to listen and kind of coach me along the way with you know tips on how to behave, how to think, how to you know maneuver my way through the corporate structures. You know maneuver my way through the corporate structures. And so that was in the early days, as if me becoming a coach later, which is part of my role.
Speaker 1:I also think it has something to do with being the oldest child. Okay. So you had the oldest child kind of mentality, like you're the oldest daughter, oldest daughter, okay, oldest daughter, okay oldest child happened to be the daughter, okay, and there were four of us in five years.
Speaker 2:So, oh, wow, I, yeah, I, my my parents would joke sometimes that, uh, I was an adult at age five, which was true, but, um, not always the best thing, yeah, but it did serve me well as far as being able to kind of read a room, being able to, you know, harness other people to follow me, to get the things done that my mom wanted us to get done that day Right.
Speaker 2:So it did serve me well. I was very independent thinking, doing and kind of making stuff up along the way if there was nobody there to teach me.
Speaker 1:Right, I remember when we had lunch you mentioned working at, I think, the marketing agency at the time and you had said that you noticed early just the barriers around being a woman in business and that that was a lot of learning for you along the way as you became the CEO of the company.
Speaker 2:Right, right, yes well, what's interesting is that, um, I I do feel pretty strongly about things once I kind of figure out the path I want to go down.
Speaker 2:I have a vision, a goal, yep, and um, I, I've learned and and I know that you're not going to know everything when you start, but sometimes you just need to start but a big key was I had a really great mentor coach when I was in my late 20s, I guess, and you know, it's very common for young people or anybody, but it's very common for people to want to talk, to show how smart they are and they know their stuff.
Speaker 2:And he pulled me aside and he said would you please stop talking? Oh, wow, okay. He said I want you to do more listening. So we'd go into a meeting. He'd say I don't want you to talk, I want you to listen, I don't want you to talk, I want you to listen. And then, over time, he would help me prepare for when I did make sense for me to talk, because you know, when you don't have any experience, sometimes you're talking, you don't have the context of what's going on, so you, you know, proverbially shoot yourself in the foot and you can really set yourself back that way.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's, it's fascinating. It's almost like and I actually had another podcast guest last week she said something similar, where she's a woman, she's a pastor and she's a female pastor, she's in a man's world and she realized that she was overcompensating by talking over people, putting her opinion in. And so it's interesting that you said that, because that was a theme last week too is that she almost had to recalibrate and sit back and it's like do we do that sometimes? Right, like overcompensate for feeling right.
Speaker 2:You know it's. It's okay to talk, speak up when you've, when you're ready, right. But sometimes, particularly when you're young, you're you're wanting to. You know, show that you should be in the room.
Speaker 2:Right, but sometimes the best thing to do is sit back and wait and see what the context is Right, how you can actually contribute something of value Right Now. Of course, as I gained experience and confidence and knowledge, I then had less trepidation about speaking up and actually even over time, suggesting that someone else. Allow me to finish my whatever I was saying.
Speaker 2:And so it's an evolution. You know you don't start out knowing everything and many, many people trip all over themselves by doing that. And even if they know something, sometimes it's just it's offensive to the other people in the room and you shortchange yourself by getting on someone's bad side before you've had a chance to show at all that you can bring value to whatever it is they're wanting to do Right, and of course, in a marketing, strategic, marketing company, it's clients and the agency you know. So we're there consulting Right, and of course, they're hiring us or considering hiring us based on our experience. So it is important that you express yourself Right. The most important thing is to listen first.
Speaker 2:Listen first it's always a great piece of advice to listen first. It goes into the coaching aspect too. Is that what I typically find most of the professionals that I've coached? They already have the answers, but they're not. They need someone to kind of guide them and draw it out of them. And that's, that's one of the things that I'm uh, I'm pretty good at.
Speaker 1:Okay, asking lots of questions and listening, and I always find that interesting. I've been to counseling, you know, a few times and um it, you know, during certain periods of my life and I'm always amazed by the questions they ask. You know, during certain periods of my life and I'm always amazed by the questions they ask. You know, it's like the good questions that get you to think and think you know, why do I, why am I feeling this way? Correct, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yes, and you know it's important to start out with some level of intentionality. What is it that you want to get out of this encounter Right? That you want to get out of this encounter Right? I had a. We were the second largest agency in that sector and we often would go up against our number one competitor, which was twice as big as us. We were only three miles apart in Kansas City. We kind of all knew each other. But there was a little bit of a competitive Right and I remember we were up for a pitch. There was a little bit of a competitive Right and I remember we were up for a pitch.
Speaker 2:It was three different companies mine, theirs and another one and I had a couple people on the pitch team that were so intent on wanting to beat the number one, and so when I got the call about the client's decision, we did not get the business and neither did they. But what the client said is you were our second choice. So I go in, because I was a little frustrated with my team saying you know, come on, the point is not to beat them, the point is to gain the business. So let's focus on what does the client need. So I said, hey, good news, we beat out, you know so-and-so Right. And they're like, oh, that's awesome, that's great, right, yes, but we didn't get the business.
Speaker 2:And so I said so, what was the objective here? Right, it was not to beat them. We did that. Is that really? Oh, no, I, I get. Oh, I get it, I get it. I said so what? We're putting together the pitches and even in there, you know who knows what the real reason was. But it's like you know, we need to focus on what's the intention of this task at hand.
Speaker 1:That's interesting. Yeah, that's so important.
Speaker 2:Right, it works in your personal life too. What's your intention with this relationship? Whether it's friend, um you know spouse, whether it's friend, spouse, children?
Speaker 1:relative or whatever. It's so easy to lose focus oh yes, it's so easy and just to fall into whatever is happening that day or whatever is on fire. It's really easy to lose focus. I mean, I'm speaking personally. How do you coach people to make sure they're prioritizing things correctly and they have the right mindset? What do you suggest? It's a process.
Speaker 2:It doesn't happen on one conversation because you're asking someone to change, which may be, their behavior is based on the 20 years of habits before you knew them. So the idea that, well, I told them once, yeah, well, that doesn't usually work Right. It's a constant coaching and, you know, going back over it and having conversations. Now that doesn't mean you do it forever. Yeah, sometimes you have to sever the relationships, particularly in a business situation, if they're not able to get it. So, yeah, it's a lot, yeah, it is Going back over. And what's your intention in coaching this person?
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, I guess that's true too right. You have to make sure your intentions are set and pure and at the right place. Yes, I didn't really think about that. Yeah, that's true too right. You have to make sure your intentions are set and pure and at the right place. Yes, I didn't really think about that yeah.
Speaker 1:That's interesting. I have to ask this. I think this is so interesting and I really love the idea and I want to bring it up so listeners can hear. Tell me about the crowded table. Oh my gosh, that is such an amazing concept. Yeah, Tell us about table. Oh my gosh, that is such an amazing concept. Yeah, Tell us about it.
Speaker 2:Oh it really was. It was one of those things that sort of just happened. Kind of by happenstance, I had been in a Bible study group in Kansas City and it was one of the best I had ever been in. We had a large group. There were several hundred people in the large group and then we broke out into smaller groups and in my smaller group there were four or five women that we all sort of didn't know each other really, but we got to know each other through this. But when the course was over, two of them approached me and said we don't want to not meet anymore. Oh yeah, and we would like you to lead us in something. Okay, I'm like okay.
Speaker 2:I didn't know what they meant Bible, whatever so I said, well, let me think about that. So I got thinking about the fact that, well, you know, I really would like to put together a group that was multi-generational, multi-backgrounds, just a variety of people that don't know each other.
Speaker 2:Okay, Bring them together and see what we end up talking about, right? So it kind of turned out that my neighbor across the street, one of her friends, then there's one of them knew somebody else. I ended up filling out the table with eight people if that's what fit my dining room table at the time and the concept was to show up, I will make dinner, I'll supply the wine and the non-wine, right, and everybody brought either an appetizer or dessert or whatever. And we proceeded to meet once a month and you know, I have a great little happy hour, more or less, where everybody would sort of warm each other up about you know, where have we been the last two weeks? What have you been doing the last month? Right? And then over dinner we would just start talking and there was really no agenda. I kind of put together a talking points based on just some basic things I thought maybe would help us get started Introductions, what's on your mind? Yeah, what do you want to get out of this group. And so it turned out to be a great, great success as far as everybody wanted to come back the next month and the next month and the next month. So we did it for, I think, maybe four months.
Speaker 2:And then I asked a friend of mine, ginger Rothis, who I mentioned in her compassion fix of mine. Ginger Rothis, who I mentioned in her compassion fix, she has a coaching business and she's also an ordained pastor. She's got a master's degree in business, so she's a very well rounded person. I asked her to come and and be our guest speaker. Okay, which she did. And you know everybody, we work through some things about, you know, basically getting more comfortable with ourselves. You know some of those inner demon kind of conversations, and that turned out really great. And then COVID hit.
Speaker 1:Oh, COVID Love it. Yeah, it ruined so many things. It did it really did, and I always had dreams of like resurrecting it.
Speaker 2:Right, but you know, because COVID was only supposed to last six weeks, yes, and two weeks, or whatever it was. And you know, two and a half years later, rather than starting that up, I moved to Florida.
Speaker 1:Oh, didn't we all? Wasn't there a big mad rush of you know what? I think I could do another COVID if I was just in Florida, right like I could survive it. So that's where I'm gonna go because I can eat outside, I can be on the beach. You know we were so locked up up north right. Like it was hard the winter was challenging.
Speaker 2:It was, but it was. It was really a great experience and, uh, you know, I I it told me that women are looking for connections beyond just their friend service level yeah conversation you know we talked about. You know um death we've talked about. You know one person was adopted. We talked about dating. Um, yeah, as an older, you know, woman or whatever, and the challenges there. We had one person that was getting ready to get married. One was getting ready to have kids get married, another one getting their first grandchild. Somebody was sick.
Speaker 1:So were you facilitating this kind of going deep topic or conversation? Because what I find is, I mean, maybe you just had the right people in the room that were like willing to be vulnerable. Yeah, perhaps, yes, but you know, sometimes you could get it. You could have a crowded table and really not talk about anything Correct.
Speaker 2:You know, the common denominator was me. I knew everybody in the room. A couple of the women I didn't know super well, but I had been around them enough to know that they were very open, and so I knew, going into it, that each person was open to those kinds of conversations that are deeper, and they wanted to talk about faith, and we did, and everybody came from a different background and our vision was to create a crowded table that was a little bit bigger, maybe having two or three a month with different groups, because I really wanted to have people with different racial backgrounds, different cultural backgrounds, so that we have an opportunity to understand people that are different from us. And the area where I lived in Kansas City it was not all that diverse, but I did know enough people that I thought over time we could probably pull together um a lot of fantastic women with different backgrounds. That would help us um really just broaden our own thinking, broaden our own perspective, have um bigger frames of reference.
Speaker 1:I think that's so important and I think back um time when I was helping a population of people that wasn't popular I'll just say women in prison, women in jail and I would say the best way to compassion is through knowing someone and knowing a story.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:And so what you were doing was really that yes, you're right, it was like it was. It was helping people. I feel like to gain a bigger arsenal of compassion most likely.
Speaker 2:It's interesting you use that word because that's exactly it. My friend, ginger I mentioned a minute ago. She started an online community during COVID. It was supposed to be an in-person thing and of course, covid ruined it Right. So she's like, well, I'm just going to go online yeah, it's great, and it's called Compassion Fix to get your compassion fixed by attending this.
Speaker 2:It started out where she was, you know faith, mostly faith. Well then, as we women got to know each other better, real life things came into the picture, but every single topic or conversation was rooted in compassion. And I think that's probably where, for myself, where I really felt the first time a really deep compassion from others coming towards me. You know, um, you know it's kind of when you're, when you're starting a business, running a business trying to make your way that doesn't always happen feel lonely. It's very lonely.
Speaker 2:A lot of criticism, a lot of who does she think she is, you know, a woman that's never, will never make it in this business, those kinds of things. It wasn't a lot of compassion and um, and that's fine. But then you know, we all have our personal side of our lives where there's things that happened to us, things we did, um that maybe that maybe would be frowned upon, I guess, or questioned. You know you're talking about the women in prison. I'm sure there are a variety of reasons why each person is there. A lot of it had to do with their backgrounds and then just maybe being in a desperate situation but providing compassion, that you're still valuable, and that doesn't mean that there's not consequences to things that happen or that you do, but it also means that there's reasons behind that, right, and I think there's to me and I, you know we talk about obstacles and opportunities Like, definitely the obstacle is that I feel like there's a lack of compassion right now, just overall, with people.
Speaker 1:It's really easy just to sit in your own framework and your own filter and just think it's easier to, you know, just to judge other people and say well, they should have, or you know, say well, they should have or you know, and so it's like creating an environment that's not. You know, you know them and us. It's like, you know, we are all together, we are all broken, we all have our own things. Right, and there's so much more commonality than you believe. I sat in jail with some women and I'm like we have a lot in common, you know, and there were things that happened and I'm sure you heard all sorts of stories around your crowded table about. You would be shocked what people have been through. Yes, you'd be shocked at the challenges that they faced. Right, and maybe they're all put together on the outside.
Speaker 2:Absolutely, you know Well, as I started sharing my story, you know they were shocked because it did look like, oh, she's got it all put together. You know she has a successful company, she's got these two kids, she's got this beautiful home. It's like, oh yeah, but there's a whole lot of skin, knees, chipped teeth, black eyes along the way, right, and you know he's just a lot of us are just lucky that we those things happen to us and we go down a path that's better than than may maybe others have chosen or forced into.
Speaker 1:So what it? What have you done in your life? Do you feel like whenever you've been faced with these challenges or things come up like where do you go, how do you you know what, what's your coping or how do you get through them?
Speaker 2:Well it's, it's been an evolution. Um, you know, I used to be really good at just compartmentalizing it and pretending it didn't happen. I was really good at that. But what I learned in my fifties is that it always comes back. It's always there, right, it comes back. You think that you're handling life without that right, um, bothering you, but it always there, right, it comes back. You think that you're handling life without that bothering you, but it's there. It informs a lot of what you do. When I started dealing with some things that had happened in my past in a vulnerable and truthful way in a vulnerable and truthful way, you know, through counseling, through meeting my friend Ginger, through some of my other friendships that I started being more vulnerable and truthfully honest with here's what's happened, right. And then doing yoga. Yoga was a big, big thing, huge thing, very healing for you.
Speaker 2:Very healing, and you know massage therapy. You know it's just. Oh, I'm a big, big thing, huge thing, very healing for you, very healing, and you know massage therapy. Oh, I'm a big believer of that. We carry so much in our bodies we do Raised during the time I was raised. It's only been in the last, for me anyway, the last maybe 20 years or so, where there's been more acknowledgement that the body and the mind, the emotional, spiritual, all works together Big connection right.
Speaker 2:And I read a book called the Body Keeps the Score Okay, I think it's Bessel van der Kolk and it was just like having this revelation that, oh my gosh, this makes so much sense, why I have these physical issues that are having to do with dealing with the trauma of some of the things that I experienced in my younger years. So prayer, I mean. I'm not a regular churchgoer by any stretch of the imagination, but I have a very strong faith and, going through some of the Bible studies and other teachers I wanted to focus on. You know, as a Christian, what does what did Jesus actually say? Yeah, as opposed to what's being taught. You know there's um.
Speaker 2:This isn't a bash on organized religion. It's very important for many, many people, but for me, um, I needed to find my own way to um, to connect with God, yeah, and understand my life Right and not feel that part of being a human means you're always being shamed for just being a human. Yeah, because we're all there, right? You know we stand in a circle, seven and a half billion people straw, pointing at the next person Right and pointing out all the shame. Try to shame them.
Speaker 2:You can't shame people into good behavior. No, no, never.
Speaker 1:No, yeah, yeah, it is interesting. I mean, when you get into all sorts of you know types of religion and you know that's some of the basis you know, of kind of you know like there's a shame component, um, so yeah, I think I was just talking with a friend and she said her husband's atheist and she, you know, has a different kind of you know belief system as well. And you know, I think it's so important, um, for anyone to ask really hard questions and get come around to you know where you feel like comfortable with, you know how you understand faith, cause it has to be personal, it has to be like really personal to you and you have to really like, you know, to me it's having a relationship with God and that's a personal thing. That's not anything anyone's going to shame me into. It's not anything anyone's going to tell me to do.
Speaker 2:Right, or shame you out of or shame you out of.
Speaker 1:Right. So I think that's. I love that. You know you kind of had that, you know realization and got to that. So you say, when you meet a challenge, typically like some kind of movement, like a yoga prayer. And then you mentioned Ginger. So Ginger's a good friend, she's a good friend.
Speaker 2:She's a very, very special person and you know she's a writer, she's a speaker, she's really fun and funny and generous with her time and her you know heart really. So, yeah, during COVID, you know, we kind of broke some of the rules and, uh, I spent a couple of days a week with her for a couple two hours each time going through my life story. Oh wow, I've toyed with the idea of writing a book, okay, um. But so I said, well, you know, help me here.
Speaker 1:Let's just go through this and, uh, you know, help me here.
Speaker 2:Let's just go through this and uh, you know, it was it. It still been one of my favorite time periods to look back on because, you know, she and I spent a lot of time and she, she helped me see around some corners or behind some some junk that I hadn't paid attention to before. To, to, to understand how things, how things have impacted me and you know, everybody has it, everyone does Part of the thing is that I just I want to come across to people that I'm not judging you.
Speaker 2:It doesn't mean that sometimes you don't have, that doesn't mean you're going to be friends with everybody, it doesn't mean you're going to like everybody, You're not going to approve this. But there's also very rare reasons to not treat people with respect, dignity and. But I also say you can have boundaries without bitterness, Boundaries without bitterness.
Speaker 1:That's good, that's really good.
Speaker 2:So you know there are people that, for whatever reason, right, that's good, that's really good.
Speaker 1:So you know there are people that, for whatever reason, right, you need boundaries. Yes, right, yes, right. Well, I love that. I mean, when you say that's kind of your intention, it's like you know if you could look at your life and say, what do you think are some of your top gifts? I mean, I see the theme of you creating safe places for people to be vulnerable and be themselves.
Speaker 2:Right, yes, and I think a lot of that has to do with the fact that, for a variety of reasons and none of them evil is that I didn't feel like I had safe spaces Because you didn't have it.
Speaker 1:I didn't have it. You are creating it for other people. Yes, that's beautiful.
Speaker 2:Sort of I had to create safe places for others. From the time I was pretty young but I didn't feel like I had it and again, that's not a judgment, it's just the way things were at that time and it did give me some gifts to recognize that this is something I really would like to have for myself, but I give to others and, honestly, probably one of the biggest impetus for me to get to that point was having my own kids. I wanted them to feel that way and I wanted them to grow into people that way, and I think they have.
Speaker 1:Yeah, oh, that's beautiful, that's amazing. I mean, you know, I think some people just kind of focus on what they didn't have or what they don't have, and you can get, like we said, bitter, you can get become a victim. But it's beautiful when you can stop and say you know what, I'm going to create it. Yes, I'm going to create what I didn't have. Or I'm going to be the person I didn't have, I'm going to be the friend, I'm going to be the coach, I'm going to be that I didn't have, you know, and I think that's so inspiring. Well, thank, you.
Speaker 2:I didn't get there, though easily. You know, when you're working through those things, there's a lot of anger, a lot of hurt, a lot of resentment, a lot of I'm the victim. But over the time period, I started realizing. You know, none of us started with anything more than you know, just we had to deal with every situation and my parents did the best they could with what they had to work with. They're wonderful people, yes, no criticism about them, but they could only do what they could do Right. And every child is so different, you know. So trying to be a one-size-fit-all parent doesn't work Right. Trying to make one mom accommodate four different personalities, and a husband too, that's really hard, yeah. So you know, everybody does the best they can. And when I've started to, quite a few years ago, started to look at people go, what happened to you, what happened Right, that causes this behavior, causes that behavior, right.
Speaker 1:But there's a thing behind the thing. Right, there's a thing behind the thing, yes.
Speaker 2:Yes, for sure, and so it's just, you know, I think that that's one of the things I'm most grateful for in this you know kind of tumultuous journey called life, that I became aware that everybody is carrying something, but that doesn't mean that has to be the something that rules your life, that's powerful?
Speaker 1:Yeah, for sure. And I mean we were talking about last podcast the idea of feeling like you're carrying a bag around but you don't even know you're carrying it. It's just become a part of your weight, yes, and then something happens where you're outwardly responding to something in a way and you're like, where did that come from? Right, and you realize you've been hanging on to a bag the whole time that you needed to let go because it's way too heavy to carry, right, you know, and I think about that just how many people, um, just aren't even recognizing what they're carrying.
Speaker 2:Yeah, heavy load, right, you know and sometimes it's serving them for whatever you know. You mentioned victim, yeah, and I know that there's a lot of currency sometimes that comes with being the victim. What I've tried to remind myself or teach myself is that of course, you've been a victim, but you've also been a victimizer. Every one of us has hurt other people, right, intentionally, not intentionally, unknown to us sometimes, that something we've done or said has hurt somebody and they're carrying around that hurt. We don't even know it sometimes. If we do know it, but you know, it's, none of us are any one thing.
Speaker 2:Whatever we're hurt, hurt about we've probably inflicted something similar right someone else yeah, and so you know there's a little bit of humility that comes with that, and I'm as good as the next person at, you know, waving that yep, the victim flag and saying, right right and I mean it's interesting because that's very biblical, right.
Speaker 1:That's very biblical that that you, you know, that you know I feel like we were. We were designed to really be in the best place, be in a good place with ourselves.
Speaker 1:We realize that we have a plank in our eye too you know, we've got a plank in our eye, we're pointing the finger and and just that that brings more grace the conversation for you know, and and just you know, I, I think I love, honestly, this is like my favorite time of the week because I get to sit and talk to people like you, and I do believe that when we surround ourselves with, like you know, people that are inspiring and life givers like that, just that just is, it's so it gives energy back right and, and I think, being intentional with you, who you surround yourself with, and those people can help you identify maybe even the plank in your eyes.
Speaker 2:Well, those are the best people right that can tell you that and you're okay with it because you realize they have your best interest. You know the idea and I've told my kids this from the time they were young and I took it upon myself before they were able to edit their friends, to edit people. Edit, edit, oh I didn't yes, until they're driving.
Speaker 1:I decided you can control all the lead, control all the lead, and I did.
Speaker 2:I did yeah, for a variety of reasons, because you know there's I'm sure the number can vary, but say there's, the five people you spend the most time with is who you're going to end up behaving like, and so choose those wisely. Well, yeah. And so, yeah, I would edit, but I had to edit myself too. Yeah, right, and I also had to know sometimes when maybe somebody I enjoyed being around all of a sudden I wasn't around them anymore, but they had edited me out for a variety of reasons. It's going to happen.
Speaker 1:And that can be okay.
Speaker 2:It can be, but it's very hurtful. It's very hurtful, but you learn to move on. And then it moves on to the next thing. Next thing well, that's out of my life, so something else must there's more space, correct?
Speaker 1:yeah, yes, yeah, and I've had that too, you know, I think everyone we can. We can really hang on to people and seasons and and think, oh, that season we were so close or you know, and there was such a beauty in that and we carried each other along during that season and oh, I miss them. I wish we still had that closeness, but for whatever reason proximity or the situation it's just not there anymore. It's not there anymore.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I created this mantra you had asked me earlier and I I didn't mention it that acceptance, grace and gratitude, so accepting what is giving grace to myself and the other person if something had gone wrong and being grateful for what I do have, and so I would just go back to that Acceptance, grace and gratitude, and that got me through a lot of things. I love that and that got me through a lot of things. I love that Times that I repeated it over and over as I walked around Huge pond that was near where I lived and the first several laps might have been stomping Right.
Speaker 1:Acceptance Grace, you're gritty up through your teeth, but, to your point, you're coming back. You're coming back, yes, because we can just let life toss us around, right, right, and just like, oh, I feel this way today, yes, you know, but that's good. You came back to kind of like, no, no, this is who I, I'm aspiring to be, this is my personal mission, this is who I want to be, and you, verbally, are saying it back to yourself. That's so good, yes, that's so good. We all need mantras, guys. I don't have one.
Speaker 1:Well, I have a variety of them, but that's the one that's kind of been my, the one I hold on to Miranda, we could talk all day. I know I feel like we could just like. I'm so glad everyone was here for our little coffee date. You know us with your wisdom and just the your kind of your been there attitude and your compassion for you know other, helping and empowering other women. It's beautiful, well, thank you for saying that Southwest Florida needs more of this.
Speaker 1:Like what about? What about a crowded table in Southwest Florida? Well, I would love to do that.
Speaker 2:I mean, I would love to be there. Well, you know, like I said, I'm getting married next spring, early summer, and you know, maybe in our new home I'll have the table. The table, yes, yes, okay.
Speaker 1:All right, I love that. I do too. I'll put it on my calendar, all right, great. Well, thank you Rhonda so much, and I hope you guys will follow Rhonda as she, you know, continues to inspire people. Please, I'll link her information below. She is an amazing, like I said, a coach mentor published everything I mean. You definitely, you know I can tell elevate other people that you're around. So thank you for being such a giver, and you know just an amazing supporter.
Speaker 2:Thank you, this was fun. I really appreciate it.
Speaker 1:Perfect, all right, thank you, bye guys.
