Obstacles to Opportunities
When faced with life's obstacles, let's channel that negative energy into positivity and forge opportunities. Throughout the nation, business owners will share their experiences of triumphing over daunting challenges in their careers and lives, illustrating how they've harnessed these experiences for growth opportunities.
Obstacles to Opportunities
Carly Oxenreider: The Power of Starting Over and Thriving Through It All
In this episode of the Obstacles to Opportunities podcast, host Jess Powell sits down with Carly Oxenreider, a serial entrepreneur, military spouse, mother, top real estate producer, coach, and mentor. Carly shares her incredible journey from growing up in eastern North Carolina to building a thriving career across multiple industries. She reflects on the challenges of being an active-duty military spouse, facing the financial turmoil of the Great Recession, and the personal growth that came from persevering through tough times.
Carly opens up about the obstacles she encountered in her career—from starting over in new markets every few years to navigating the collapse of the mortgage industry—and how she learned to reinvent herself, adapt, and emerge stronger. She also discusses the invaluable lessons she's learned along the way, including the importance of mentorship, asking for help, and the power of failure as a stepping stone to success.
As a passionate coach and mentor, Carly is now dedicated to guiding young entrepreneurs to overcome their own hurdles and find their path to success. Tune in for a conversation filled with inspiration, resilience, and practical advice for navigating life’s challenges.
Plus, get to know Carly’s fun side—like two friends catching up over coffee!
Welcome to the Opschools to Opportunities podcast. I am Jess Powell, your host, and today I'm super excited to introduce you to Carly Ochsenreiter, and Carly and I met in Las Vegas recently. We sat down at a little table in a crowded room and we just started chatting, and I could tell she was the type of person that would bring so much value to our listeners, because she has kind of done it all. Is that fair to say, yeah, I think I have. That's a nice way of saying she's really that old, but yeah, you aren't that old, and that's what I mean. We have you on video for those that are just listening. We are going to do some video clips. She looks fantastic. She has done it all, though, guys and I'm just going to introduce you in this way so originally from North Carolina, so North Carolina native serial entrepreneur, so we're going to dig into that a little bit.
Speaker 1:Military wife, very passionate about understanding, supporting military families, she is a top producer, not only as a solo agent, but she has also ran multiple teams and now is a market center owner. She is a mother and she is a uh. She has grand pups and she also is a passionate coach and mentor. Did I miss anything? Uh, no, um, I have a great partner, um, my husband, who I've been with for 34 years, so he's my backbone, um, but you know, I got to give him a shout out because I'm quite sure I want to listen to this. I love that. We may dive into that too. I mean, when we talk about obstacles, of course marriage can be a challenge, you know, and having a marriage for that long I'm sure has, um, you have some bits of wisdom for us. We'll dig into that too. Okay, awesome, okay. So we, you know theme of this. Someone could listen to all these, um, accolades, that could listen to the highlights of your life and they would have no clue what it took you to get here. And so when I read through kind of your story, there were a lot of really interesting moments, but I think the one that we should maybe talk about first, which may resonate with people right now because of so much uncertainty in the world, so much change. I mean, if you're listening right now, we have crazy tariffs happening, we have a crazy real estate market. It's one of the most difficult markets we've had in years Lots of uncertainty for everyone, really in any kind of industry, and so, as you look at your life and you look at what you're going to do next, I feel like Carly can give us some advice, because back in, let's see, was it the Great Recession? You had just started a company or you had, okay, just started a mortgage company. So take us back there and take us to what happened.
Speaker 1:Yes, so my start in business was in 99. I kind of launched over into the mortgage industry not really knowing very much about it and just loved it. And so I just dug into it, not really knowing very much about it and just loved it. And so I just dug into it, started out as an LO, a loan officer, and then just very quickly was like what's the next step? What's the next step? So I became a wholesale account executive and I sold wholesale money across the country. I worked for two of the biggest mortgage lenders and then I opened my own company in North Carolina and within two years we had grown from being this baby brand me being the sole owner and investor to having 12% market share in the Wilmington North Carolina market and we were in three states. So I was fearless back then. I mean, I was in my mid 20s, late 20s, and I was like I can just do this, no problem, which I think is one of the great things when you're young, right, don't be fearful, go out there, make it happen.
Speaker 1:And that was very successful Sold that company when we were transferred we were stationed in Mobile, alabama, and that was in late 2006, 2007. And then I decided, oh, I did it in North Carolina. I can replicate Copy paste. Right, copy paste, I'm wonderful. So did the same thing. It was a very different, very different atmosphere, environment, state regulations, you name it. And that's just part of mortgage and real estate, right. Like anytime you go into a different state or a different market, you open up a whole new bag of tricks, right? So we got that going.
Speaker 1:And then, you know, I've always been very much a student of the market. I had felt things building. A lot of people who had been in the mortgage industry did feel that. But we were kind of leaning on oh, it'll be okay, it's going to work. And then, of course, it did not, and so literally, the market crashed, basically, and the housing market and the mortgage industry kind of came to a screeching halt.
Speaker 1:And so I kept that company going for several months after that and then decided this is more of a negative to my family, my mindset, my spirit, because I could see the writing on the wall and so having to close that company, really as a baby, because when you are a business owner, an entrepreneur, I don't care what business you're starting, it's like your child, right? That you put so much blood, sweat, tears, love into it. So that really, when I go back and look at all of the ups and downs in business, that was probably the the hardest business obstacle and what I considered a failure back then. And I, like you actually put, when I do pre-interview questions and you put, you didn't just say um, you said it's one of the times I failed, one of the times you said you needed to look back. I just want to reiterate that because getting to success requires failure. Is that true? You think I mean it requires it.
Speaker 1:So what did you do? Take us back there? What kind of mindset were you in? And then, how did you get through that? So, initially, like a lot of business owners, when things get tough, you're a little bit in denial, right. So you think, okay, well, let me just spend more money, let me hire more people, or let me just throw my hands up and say send me a shiny object, right, this is going to fix this, yeah, however, if I would have really paid attention and I was, but I wasn't giving it full attention to the fundamentals right, the market, what the experts were saying, what I was feeling, I probably could have preempted the financial damage a lot sooner. I kept it open for probably about six months longer than what I should have, right?
Speaker 1:So what I did is, when I finally came to that decision, I basically I winded it down, I closed it and then I went to work for a more stable, larger company. We were also looking at the next transfer, that's a military spouse, right? So we were going to be transferring, probably in about six to eight months, and I thought, okay, well, I've got to. I cannot let this put me into a dark hole, I've got to. You know, like I always did pull myself up for my bootstraps, what's going to be my next move? We knew we were going to California what does that look like? And I just started planning, even though I had literally just failed. I gave myself a little bit of time to have a pity party and then I just did what I always did I just put my head down and started planning for the next move, the next opportunity.
Speaker 1:Where did you learn that, do you think? Where did you learn that? Do you think, like, where did you learn that you know that grit or that perseverance? Oh, I think absolutely from my parents. My, my dad was, um, a serial entrepreneur. He was okay, he was. He was in in very different manners, but growing up as a kid, all I remember is him coming home with another, what my mom would call hair brain, idea, love it, yeah. And then my mother too, I mean, um, she was, she was a serial entrepreneur, um, in her own fashion, I mean, from reupholstering furniture to catering to building things, redoing furniture, like all these kind of things as a kid. So I watched my parents I can say this, and I told someone this not too long ago, and it's so funny that you're pulling this memory out is I never saw my parents sitting down idly, ever. Wow, and that can be a good thing or a bad thing, cause I'm guilty, like I sometimes. I don't know how to relax. A lot of times I have to work on that. Yeah, no, I get it.
Speaker 1:I grew up similar, where my parents had, like my mom had a tuxedo business, we had an? Uh, we had a gift. We actually had a gift basket business in our basement after my parents got forced, like she was like I need to start my own thing. My dad was always a business. He owned his own business, did his own thing. So I get it.
Speaker 1:And how do you think that's affected you? I mean, you mentioned needing to learn how to slow down sometimes. I feel like sometimes I can get caught in the achievement check off the box rat race a little bit, because I grew up in that culture of, like, my parents didn't go to college. They were always working, always there was no. Yeah, you're right. No idleness, no downtime, no downtime or rest, no, and I will say that you know my mom, my dad passed away in 98. So he was gone at a very young age. I was in my mid twenties when I lost my dad, um, which I would love to have those conversations with him now. I'm just can imagine what he would be saying to me. Um, but my mom, definitely my mom is still alive. She lives in North Carolina and she, um shares with me all the time and has been probably for the last 10 or 15 years.
Speaker 1:You know you really need to slow down. You need to make sure you're keeping that stress in check, like you know you're, you're old before you know it, I mean, and they say those things to you but really they can kind of see themselves in you, right, right, and you said something that you know. Definitely I love that you shared that about. You know, when your parents were divorced my parents were divorced when I was around nine or ten years old and my mom had an eighth grade education and single mom, and so she worked three to four jobs at one time for a while until she got remarried, and I just remember thinking, wow, you know, she goes from one job to the next job to the next job, like you know, and I think now, being a mother and being, you know, having all these responsibilities, you know what that must have felt like for her. Right, like that was survival, and so I think, when you have that embedded in you, I don't know if you know how to operate any other way.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, I mean, like you said, a lot of people might just and I want to like kind of stop on a little bit. You mentioned this a little bit, but I want to like go back to it. You not only are starting companies in a city, you know and in this past circumstance you know kind of failed, shut your doors down, but you know you're probably moving to another city. Like that, to me, is crazy. Like it's hard enough to start a business. Like I kind of started my business here in Naples three years ago, similarly, where I didn't have a network of people. I knew a few, like two people when I moved here, two people. You did that multiple times where you picked up your biz and you moved on and then started again. Tell us about that. How do you do that?
Speaker 1:So I was raised and we joke about it in our house and I won't say this in any way to try to offend anyone but we grew up very much as kind of like wanders gypsies is what we call it. Okay so, um, our family you know I was born in California but grew up in North Carolina, that'll just tell you right. Okay, so my dad, like I said, serial entrepreneur, which would go to where the opportunity was or where the jobs were, and so at a young age we moved around a lot. So when I met my husband and he was in the military, it just fit Right, right. So I was used to picking up and moving, getting used to a new neighborhood, a new house, new friends at school, starting a new school. I mean, I won't even say how many schools I went to by the time I graduated, so it's been your whole life, it's my whole life.
Speaker 1:I don't know any different and, honestly, our children have picked up a little bit of that. We do coach them to say, hey, you know, a new location is not always a fix right For things like it's not that you don't, you know, run toward an opportunity, but you want to take time to really think about it. Um, because it does have its challenges. I mean, over the years, even though I became a master at adapting and recreating myself and being a chameleon, I put those in the notes because that word always resonated with me, because you know perfect example, when we left Mobile, alabama, and then moved to Los Angeles, california. You can't have two different markets, no, no.
Speaker 1:So I had to very quickly figure out okay, what opportunity do I want? How do I approach it? Who do I become, or who do I have to become? Right To be in the circles or to be in the organizations that I want to be a part of. What do I need to learn to even do business there? That's a whole other piece, right. So that's really kind of how I approached it every time, and sometimes it was easier.
Speaker 1:Sometimes the market was up when we would make the move, and then sometimes the market was down, and I really do believe that that's why, when the market shifts kind of like what we're going through right now I mean really what we've been through the last five years it doesn't really phase me as much as it may other people. Yeah, because I've just experienced it and I know that it's cyclical, it's going to shift, it's going to change, it's going to shift, it's going to change. But when you're in the depths of feeling defeated, it's very hard for someone to share that advice with you. It's easier to do what we're doing, tell your story so they can hear the real truth. Yeah, like you came out on the other side. You came out and so the door shut on the mortgage company. You moved and then did you jump into real estate at that time, carly, so funny story.
Speaker 1:So we moved out there, and when we were moving there, it would have been very late 2008,. Early 2009, when we knew our move date, early 2009, when we knew our move date right. So I started immediately doing research on okay, this is where we're going, this is probably where we're going to live. What are the leaders in the mortgage industry in that area? So I started doing some research and I found this little boutique mortgage company called Debbie and Michelle Mortgage I thought it was the cutest little name and it was in Palos Verdes, which is right where we moved, and I literally called them. I called them and I said this is who I am. I'm a military spouse, I'm transferring from Alabama, I'm looking for a home to land and this is what I've done. And they were. They were taken aback. Of course, that wasn't the first time I ever actually asked for an opportunity to I'm known to do that but that was probably. That was, um, that that probably was the first time I actually called someone that like aggressively and asked for an opportunity, and so they hired me Before they met me, I already had a company to start at when I moved out there.
Speaker 1:So when I moved out there, it was like spring of 2009, which was the depths, especially in California, of just the housing disaster. At that point, everything was a short sale, everything was a foreclosure. Nothing would appraise. Lending was very, very tight. But what was? At the time? In California, they required that you get your real estate license to do government lending, and so that was when I initially got my real estate license and I did it with the full intention of just having it for lending. I had that great opportunity with them, built a wonderful relationship, and then, after Debbie and Michelle, I got an opportunity to help a local bank start a mortgage division.
Speaker 1:Okay, yeah, like grassroots, because they had seen that I had started companies before and I went in there and helped them from building their accounting platform to compliance, to marketing, to origination. And then, once we built it, it was time to move again. You're like and now, now I did it, now it's time to move on. Okay, so where did you go next? Where was the next stop? Yeah, so the next stop was, um, I actually had some really great colleagues in Wells Fargo wealth management, okay, and so I joined Wells Fargo. Um, and they allowed me and Wells Fargo is a great company, by the way, and, and I feel like, really does a great job with military spouses they transferred me to Brunswick, georgia, which is where I am now, and I that was there again, coming from Los Angeles to small town, coastal Georgia.
Speaker 1:Yep, I was just doing the reverse that I had done before and I had to learn. Boy, you talk about having to learn how to slow down. Oh, yeah, yeah, I've been to St Simon's in that area and I mean it's like, yeah, I mean it is, it's a different culture. Oh yeah, I went from wearing, you know, suits to work every day to people in flip-flops and board shorts showing up at me. I was like what's going on? Need a new wardrobe, right? Yeah, definitely, those suits were donated after a couple of years of dust. So, and you know, one of the things I wanted to point out too I didn't I didn't remember this until I was kind of making some notes is when I, when I called and asked for that opportunity with Debbie and Michelle.
Speaker 1:One of the reasons that I did is that I had, you know, over the years I had worked for some of the biggest names in mortgage lending. I had worked for Countrywide, I had worked for Wells Fargo Wholesale and, of course, I had had my company, which one I had sold, which was very successful. And then one, of course, it closed my resume and I know that in the reason I'm saying this and I'm fully transparent. I used to look at this in a negative fashion and now I don't. I couldn't get people to even look at my resume. I would have people who would respond back and go I'm sorry, we're not hiring anyone in the mortgage industry, and especially people who have worked for Countrywide.
Speaker 1:Countrywide had been villainized so badly right by the press and the CEO and owner, you know, was dragged up on Capitol Hill Like it was very, it was very media driven and it was like having you know, it was like being blacklisted, yeah, yeah. And so I had really fell on deaf ears trying to go the traditional route of applying for opportunities and I was getting like ghosted. And I hear people now, hear these young people nowadays who are in the job search struggling, saying I'm being ghosted. No one's responding and my heart breaks for them because I've been there, yeah, yeah. And so that was why I said, well, if someone's not going to give me an opportunity, I'm going to find one. And that's really the mindset I had when it led me to calling Debbie and Michelle and you're like hey, you know, let's, let's, let's talk.
Speaker 1:I love that, I mean, and so you know it takes, it does take a level level of just I don't have any really more options. You know, sometimes you get to that point too. You're like I've tried everything, I've sent my resume out, I have done all the things. Sometimes it takes that for people to really be like OK, now I need to like, I need to be more aggressive about this, and I love that you found a boutique.
Speaker 1:You seem to like you know the way, their culture, and just ask right. I mean, how often do we not ask? And I always tell my kids that I'm like worst case, worst case is that they're going to say no, worst case, right. So let's do it, let's ask right, and that's definitely in our industry as well. We have to ask right, yes, don't ask, you don't know. I mean, I can't think of how many times even any anytime, owning a business you can make assumptions for people. You can assume that you know what their answer is going to be. You can assume you know what their situation is and, um, you, pretty much you know like, shouldn't do that, you know, because you you're going to be surprised. So, yeah, and I've learned over the years and I will say, keller, one of the things that Keller Williams has taught me since joining their company is ask great questions and listen. That is good, you know, because that would have been a trait I wish I would have probably adopted when I was younger.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and you said also in here that you said asking for help would have been something right. Yes, yeah, so I think, because I, and I still am very independent and I think when you have, like what we talked about, parents like ours, they become extremely independent and you want to do things yourself, you don't want to depend on others. And so you get in this mindset of I'm just going to figure this out on my own, even if I have to suffer through the process, right, like I'm going to figure this out on my own, even if I have to suffer through the process, right, like I'm going to figure this out. And there is no, there's no shame or no negative to asking for help. What you have to make sure is that you have, you know, a tribe around you and mentors in your life that you can go to and trust that they're going to give you great advice, right, and that they're going to listen without judgment. And I think that that's the probably more of the resistance to that when you're younger is that you haven't found that tribe, you haven't built that tribe yet.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's a good point, yeah, and so how did you build your tribe, you know, and was it intentional, unintentional? No, it wasn't. I mean, I say that it was, but I'm, you know, I'm a very spiritual person. So I do believe that God puts people in your life and in your path and sometimes they stay forever and other times they're only there for a period, right, um, I believe that the mentors that I had in my life, I truly believe that God put them there, because a lot of times it was by such a what you would consider a coincidence or an accident, um, and I built that tribe and it's funny, because we didn't move so many times, that I always had a very small circle of friends, because it's very hard I mean when you, when you make friends, right, to maintain those friendships across state lines. Yeah, it's difficult, yeah, and especially back pre-social media days where you literally had to visit someone or call them or write them a letter or a card, right, postcard. So I will say you know the people who I when I think about, who are my mentors and who are my tribe. So many of those people are still today, and it might've been. I picked up one or two from every duty station that we've been at, going all the way back to the very beginning, yeah, you know, and some of us now have been friends for, you know, almost 30 years. Amazing, yeah, yeah, I felt there was a time in my life it was really hard.
Speaker 1:It was like after having kids and I was going through a lot of like postpartum depression, anxiety, dealing with a lot of things, and I just thought, you know, I need to surround myself intentionally with people that inspire me, because I need it, like I need to be inspired. So I actually set up meetings specifically with people. They didn't know me, but I admired them and I asked them to sit down and have coffee with me. And one of them, her name's Leslie, and I actually wrote her a letter. She had married someone, knowing he was going to pass away from cancer and she went through that process with him and I just admired so much about her in that and I wrote her a letter. You don't know me, you know blah, blah, blah.
Speaker 1:Long story short. We met for coffee after he had passed and I, you know, just said I just wanted to be around you Because I just really saw in you so many qualities I would love to have. Yeah, and we've been friends. We've been friends ever since you know, and, and so sometimes I think even being very cognizant of when you meet someone and you leave and your cup is completely full and they have inspired you and you know, like, spend more time with those people, right, like because we all need that, you know, because life can be hard, life can be yes, and that's such a. I mean, it's funny when you say that.
Speaker 1:It makes me think about several of the relationships that I have right now with some of my closest girlfriends. Um, is, I really did Some of them? I did seek out, like what you're talking about. You did, okay, I saw my a piece of myself in them and I will say, when you are a strong-willed, dominant personality, female entrepreneur, it can be very lonely, yeah, yeah, I yeah be lonely at the top. It can be lonely leading a company. You can be lonely being a leader, yeah, and a lot of times people are you're not the absolute norm in social groups, and so I feel like that's why sometimes it feels like you're so attracted to people who are like you. Right, because you feel comfort in that there's no judgment right Around certain things.
Speaker 1:And I used to feel that a lot, being a military spouse, because so many times when we would move to a new unit I was one of maybe two or three working spouses. I was going to say because I mean, how many people can do that? How many people, even, but you know, could have a remote job, could you know? So, yeah, you were kind of doing the impossible, yeah, and and sometimes I mean you would get you know, and I know that there's moms out there and dads who will resonate with this, but you know, I would get the. Oh, you know we're doing this big fundraiser at the school, but oh, carly, we'll just have you buy some because we know that you'll be at work. Yeah, right, right. And you feel somewhat alienated, like you're not a part of the group. You know, exactly, exactly, yeah. And it can be tough when you are that, that working entrepreneurial parent, and you're surrounded by others who are not in that same stage of life.
Speaker 1:Now, I do love the fact that so many moms and military spouses can work remote and have those opportunities. Now, I think that's been one of the great benefits that has come out of the employment shift over the last five years. I think a lot of companies now are seeing the value in military spouses and what they bring to the table, even though when you look at that resume it's going to be two years here, three years here, and traditionally employers saw that as a negative. So that's a mindset shift and I think it is getting better. I think the more and more people do advocate for military spouses and really show their value of what they bring to the table, because I can tell you that most that I've encountered over the years are hardworking, adaptable, resourceful oh yeah.
Speaker 1:Tough, yep, oh yeah. They're some of my toughest friends. I mean, I, yeah, it's. I've met so many, you know, military families. I have them in my family, you know, and it's, it is, it takes, it creates that resilience, that perseverance, that toughness that some of us don't have. You know, and like you reinvented yourself, you know, and that's it. That's adaptability. That's what we need. Right, we need more adaptability.
Speaker 1:So, um, okay, so we are almost at the end of our time, even though I, we could sit here all day. I mean, we could sit here all day and chat. We'll have to do. We're going to have to do round two, maybe round two of your life. We're going to have to hear, like what, you're okay? So two questions what are you excited about right now in your life? I have, we have two minutes to answer this.
Speaker 1:So, what are you excited about in your life right now? And then you tell someone if they're in a tough spot. So I look at what we're going through right now with the lens of what opportunity can come out of this and I know that that can be cliche, but I'm going to tell you that there is a silver lining in what we're going through right now. And if you feel like you can't find the answer, then you need the who. You need to find out who you can talk to, who can help you see through or be able to not listen to the noise, and look for that opportunity. You know, start listening to podcasts, start reading books, stay off of the news. For God's sake, let's just take a break. Yeah, right, I love that. Now, what are you excited about? So we have our first uh cruise, international cruise scheduled for July. I'm so excited about that, um, and it's going to be eight days, and so that's going to be a true like disconnect for us to go and do that. So we're very excited about that. Personally, work wise, we are building our business center in Kingsland, georgia, and we're very excited about the growth that's happening there. Yeah, and we're just excited about all the opportunities coming down the pipe.
Speaker 1:Thank you so much, carly. I really appreciate it. You're a breath of fresh air. So thank you for sharing all this with us, and we're going to have you on for round two. Okay, I would love it. I would love it. All right, thank you so much. All right, have a great day. All right, you too. Bye-bye.
