Detangle by Kinjal
Detangle is a podcast created by health psychologist and writer, Dr Kinjal Goyal. Each episode is a conversation with an expert in their field, as they dive deep into their journerys and experiences. The conversations are full of insight and a great way to hear, first hand, how the mind plays a pivotal role in almost everything that we do. The guests range from doctors, to writers, to those in entertainment and of course, those from mental health fields.
Detangle by Kinjal
Detangle with Malaika Arora
Picture yourself navigating the choppy waters of public perception, where every post and tweet is scrutinized, and judgement is just a click away. Malaika and I dissect the societal pressures that accompany the limelight, particularly for women, and how she sidesteps the pitfall of seeking external approval. She lays bare her toolkit for emotional wellness, a recipe that includes a sprinkle of discipline, a dose of self-care, and a generous helping of personal growth. The insights she offers aren’t just strategies but a mantra for anyone looking to remain anchored amidst the storms of social media.
Drawing the curtain to a close, our conversation takes a turn towards the transformative power of Malaika's personal narrative and activism through her work. Malaika's background as a student of psychology and yoga reveals the depth beneath the surface, showing how a private journey can inspire change in the world around us. As we bid farewell, we're left with an empowering message: Take credit wherever it is due; don't shy away from giving yourself the pat on the back that you deserve.
Welcome to Detangle, where we untangle the complexities of life one conversation at a time. I'm your host, Dr Kinjal Gowil, a psychologist and a writer. We have with us today Malayaka Arora, a dancer and actress, a fitness enthusiast and the lady of the moment with her own show, Moving in with Malayaka on Disney Hot Star. Welcome, Malayaka. Thank you so much for joining me today.
Speaker 2:Thank you for having me, Kinjal. Thank you so much.
Speaker 1:Well, it's a pleasure, Malayaka, let's get started. There are so many questions. I don't think we can do justice in about 30 minutes, but let's see how far we can go. Sure shoot away.
Speaker 2:I will answer to the best of my ability.
Speaker 1:We're looking forward to it. So tell me, malayaka, let's take a quick peek into your childhood. Did you always envision a life of glamour and fitness, or were your dreams a little different as a child or a teenager?
Speaker 2:Wow, honestly, I don't quite remember exactly what I, you know, my dream is. Back then as a child. I guess I was just somebody who was just growing up, because I started to found myself growing up too soon and trying to figure out, you know, what I want with my life. So, no, glamour and fitness were not really part of my agenda. Dance definitely was, because I've always dance has been an integral part of my life since I was a kid. So, yes, I always thought I would probably just be a really accomplished dancer or I would go, I would probably study dance further, you know, kind of join an academy or something like that. I really did think that would be the step that I would take. I was a fairly good psychology student, so that was something else that kind of crossed my mind in college.
Speaker 2:I guess I've always been very good with kids, with, you know, with teaching. I've been very good with that in my growing up years. So I just thought that that was again something I would probably pursue and, you know, and I thought it would be my calling. But you know, of course life has different, different ideas and dreams for you which one never ever thought of. So, yeah, all of it just kind of happened by chance. To be very honest, literally everything in my life has happened by chance.
Speaker 1:Wow, I never knew the psychology part of your background, so that's intriguing for me. Well, you've stayed in this business and relevantly so for the last one and a half three decades. This requires a certain amount of emotional grit and resilience. So tell me, where does this come from? How do you tune into it?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I would say three decades, wow, that's a really long time and, like you said, a certain amount of grit, resilience, consistency, you know, all of it is very, very important and I think for me to have survived this long in a business where women don't really survive that long I mean, most women I know have probably peaked in their careers and they've taken a break, you know they've. They've completely, you know, decided to give, you know, a complete hiatus to their career of and then moved away, got married, children. A lot of them have now made comebacks. You know, I think that's been pretty much the pattern of sorts for women. I don't know, but I've just somehow managed to just be around for the last three decades and be relevant, as you said. And to be relevant is very, very difficult in a business where things change, tides change, there's a new flavor of the season, you know, every, every now and then. So to actually stay above the game, hold your head up high and be relevant is very, very difficult. But I don't know somewhere. I think, for me, two things I think of being staying relevant one is consistency and one is constantly reinventing myself.
Speaker 2:I never, really I was never part of any sort of a rat race. I never was trying to, you know, be a top notch heroine or be the best. I was never in that sort of space. I somehow felt I needed to cover niche for myself, which genuinely I felt it was. I mean, in all these years I don't think there was anybody in that, in that category, you know, in that niche that I've created of of being this, of being this girl, you know a sex symbol of sorts, somebody you know you kind of, you kind of desire and then comes on screen and then takes over the whole space of of doing, you know, songs in, in films you know, which was literally that kind of took the credit in a film where you know you would kind of say, oh my God, you know, that song just kind of was the highlight of the film, you know. So there was nobody really in that space who was doing any of that. So, like I said, I just kind of made a niche for myself.
Speaker 2:I was in the industry and yet I was not completely, you know, both legs in the industry. I just kind of had this great love affair going on with this, with the industry, and I love it and to date I still have it. I still have this amazing, you know, a place of this amazing love or this amazing, like I said, a love affair that I continue to have, which is amazing. So I'm not really a full-fledged heroine, I'm not a full-fledged producer or whatever, but I still continue to be part of the industry, purely because you know of my, of all the number of songs that I've done and I continue to do, and I really do get a lot of love for that and, of course, over the years of kind of, like I said, being consistent and constantly revamping yourself and remoulding yourself and re-jigging yourself is very important, you know, and I think fitness plays a very, very important part in that.
Speaker 2:I've never let myself, I've never let myself go. I've never, ever let myself, you know, kind of just take a slump, never. I've always tried to be on top of my game. I've always tried to look a certain way, I've always tried to be a certain way. I've always and, like I said, I've never competed with anybody. I mean, in today's day and age, there are girls half my age, you know, and yet I still hold my own, I still stand my space and I'm not competing with anyone else, even though every second day. I'm always. I'm always compared to somebody half my age, which I think is. I don't know why, but I still am. But, like I said, I've managed to. I really have managed to just kind of carve my own niche and just stay in that space of mine.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's a very subtle but yet very powerful space, which is lovely.
Speaker 2:Absolutely. I've never really tried, like I said, I've never tried too hard, I've never tried to be part of the number game or compete with somebody. I've always said I've just been my own, I've just been my own world. Literally I do my thing, I give it my best, I'm thoroughly professional. I don't ever let, I don't get swayed by what's going on around me. You know so, literally it's my world. That kind of exists for me.
Speaker 1:So tell me, malayaka, I would describe you as somebody who is distractingly beautiful. But does that happen to you too? Will you find it hard to take you seriously just because you're so stunning?
Speaker 2:Well, thank you so much for saying that. But I think initially, when you come into this business, you're judged for the way. I mean you're constantly judged for the way you look, right. Oh, she gets work because she looks a certain way. Oh, she gets work because she has a sexy attitude oh, she gets you know. So that's a constant thing where you're judged for your looks. Unfortunately, that goes with the territory, but I think spanning over three decades is not.
Speaker 2:You can't just survive on your looks, right? I mean, at some point those looks are going to fade away you, at the end of the day, it is your professionalism, it is what you bring to the table, it is your hard work, it is your constant thirst and your constant need to be better. Right, that is what eventually is going to hold you. You know, hi, it's not your just. I mean, yes, I give, I mean I'm really grateful for my looks, I'm really grateful for all of that. But, like I said, all of that fades with time. You have to literally go beyond that and that is the trick and that is how you stay relevant. If you can actually go beyond your looks, then you can stay relevant, true.
Speaker 1:Well, let's talk about your work Now. This has been applauded and enjoyed by the audience and said there is no question about it, but it's always empowering for the same audience to unleash their prudish side, you know, especially on social media and to judge the same work that they've thoroughly enjoyed. So now, how did you deal with this earlier and how do you deal with it now? So much has changed in this whole ecosystem.
Speaker 2:And it will continue to change. You will be. I mean, there will be enough and more chatter. There'll be enough and more you know people who will have good to say and bad to say.
Speaker 2:And unfortunately, we're living in a time of social media which has literally taken over every aspect of our lives. So you're constantly going to be judged like for whatever it may be, for the work that you've like sometimes you've done. You know, you're kind of done so much in your life, so much you know you've kind of achieved so much. You've kind of put yourself out there, your love for that, your fans adore you for that. And yet there will always be a section of society or section of social media that will say, oh, what does she do? You know just. You know just about shakes or hips or dances. You know, that's what, that is all that she has to a credit.
Speaker 2:So you kind of then you kind of wonder, I mean, is there, is there no pleasing? You know people, but then at the end of the day you can't please everybody. You have to just keep going until the day you realize that, listen, I think, I think I've done enough and now I need to. You know, hang up my boots right. So I think, till then, till you have it in you, till you have that fire in your belly, till you have that, that will and that urge to want to be better, I don't think anything or anybody can slow you down.
Speaker 2:And I feel, in today's day and age, the opportunities are, are endless, are literally endless Now, whether it's on television, whether it's in films, whether it's producing, whether it is OTT, whether it is, you know, businesses, the opportunities are. Just you know it's limitless. So I genuinely feel, as a woman working today for me, my opportunities are limitless. I don't I don't feel boxed at all. I feel there is a new opportunity waiting and knocking at my door every single day, every single day, you know, and I feel very, very happy about the fact that I've done it on my own. I've never relied on anybody.
Speaker 2:I've never, ever, felt the need. I've never needed a crutch in my life. The only support that I've had a support system is your family right, that's your, your friends and family, that are your support system. But in terms of a crutch or in terms of somebody pushing me or giving, no, I think I've. I have done it all on my own. I have managed to, you know, I've managed to work with amazing people who have and, time and again, who have come back to work with me. You know, it's not like a one-off thing. I mean, I may have, I've worked with them and then eventually I've worked with them over and over again. So I think that speaks volumes for any artist, when, when somebody keeps coming back to you to work with you, that means it really does speak volumes. That means you are doing something. You're doing something right. So, like I said, I think I genuinely have done it all on my own, with a great support system and amazing people that I've met over over my time, over the entire trajectory of my career, that I've met and I've had the opportunity to work with.
Speaker 2:But like I mean a lot of I mean somebody said that I, I give myself all credit because I have worked very hard to be where I am today and I will take all credit for it. How nice, I mean, why not? And more about it. Yeah, I'm not even going to shy away from it and I will. I have had people who have had. You know, I've met amazing people along the way who have only helped me you know, get better at what I'm doing who have just, you know, who have kind of been there along my but I don't, I've never had anybody hand holding me or, you know, kind of never. So for that I will take full credit. For the person that I am, or or the success or my or my shortcomings, all of it, I take full credit and I completely will give myself credit for that.
Speaker 1:This is so powerful for all the listeners, you know, for all my audiences. Right now, there are so many women who have done it on their own and yet shy away from taking credit.
Speaker 2:I think they're very scared about that Pat on their back. You know they're constantly waiting for that validation, for somebody to give them, that Pat on their back. I guess I'm no different. There was a time in my life when I was younger, but I was looking for that Pat on my back and that kind of validation and the woman that I am today, I can, I don't, I'm fine, I'm, I'm okay with not having that, I'm absolute. I mean, yes, everybody, you know, you, you get an award, you're you're, you're appreciated. Everybody loves that, Everybody loves that kind of validation.
Speaker 2:But I'm not looking for that, I'm not seeking it. I'm not looking for that Pat on my back and say, wow, Fanta, and no, I will give myself that Pat on my back. I will tell myself every morning that you know what you're doing a fantastic job. Get up and let's, let's, you know, take over and rule the world and let's do something bigger and better. Today I will say that to myself, I will say it to myself a million times and I will make sure that that's what you know propels me every day of my life.
Speaker 1:How nice. So tell me, Malika, you've aced the social media space. The numbers say it all, but you also feel the urge to peep into the comments once in a while. Do you find trolls there? Do you feel vulnerable when you go into that space?
Speaker 2:Well, there was again, again. There was a time where I was very vulnerable and susceptible to all of that. Now I've hardened myself, I have insulated myself and I have completely now blocked that side of my life out. Yes, I'm on social media I I use it as a tool to to my advantage. I mean, I use it for my work, I use it for for a certain amount of recreation, which is just the amount that I want to put out there.
Speaker 2:So, no, I don't want to look into trolls, I don't want to peep into comments. I don't, because it's a very, very, very toxic space to kind of. Once you let yourself go down that space, let me tell you it is. It's damning, it messes your head up. It really does. I'm sure there are a lot of people who do it, no judgment. There was a time where I did it. With time I have learned and I will not go down that space ever again, because it's not healthy. It's too toxic a space and I want to be happy. I don't want anybody to dull my shine. I want to be able to wake up every morning feeling amazing about myself If somebody out there is going to, even minutely, even by a point, going to dull that for me. I don't need that. You know, tata, goodbye, I don't need it at all.
Speaker 1:True. Now let's talk about fitness, malayaka. A lot of people understand fitness, understand a good body as a product of just nutrition or working out, but as a psychologist, I understand it's a very, very intense discipline in the mind, absolutely. So how has I mean? Has this been a struggle for you to keep the mind in check, or has that been your kind of superpower?
Speaker 2:I think that's my superpower. You nailed it, you said it bang on. When somebody asked me. I'm like I say that's my superpower. My mind touch, you know, is very strong and I am very, very, very strong and motivated as a person. I don't treat fitness as, hey, my body's got to look good. Hey, today I got you know, I have to be three kilos down or two inches smaller. I don't look at it that way. I'm very proud of my body because I have worked very hard on it. But of course it's a. It is also a mind thing because I'm extremely disciplined as a person. I know people around me are like, oh, come on, you know fine, but no, I will, I will do that hard work. I will put in that hard work.
Speaker 2:If I have worked, if I have worked late or if I've had a late night of you know whatever out with my friends or whatever, I will still wake up in the morning and I will still. I will still be on the map. I will still do my yoga session or I will do my, whatever it may be, whether it's my yoga, my pilates, whatever, I will be there in the morning. I may be there one hour later because I may feel I need one hour extra sleep, but I will not miss it. So, no matter what and people around me are, like you know, wise, and it's okay, man, like I know it, I mean I know my some of my sister will say to me she'll be like chill. Her perennial to me is like chill. Why can't you just chill? I'm like, trust me, I'm very chill, but this is me, you know I.
Speaker 2:I'm a very disciplined person and I owe my every, what I do out there, what I put out there, my work. I owe it to my, to my, to my fans. I owe it to the people who who want to watch me. I owe it to the, to the channels that pay me that kind of money to be on their channel. I owe it to them and I need to be a certain way.
Speaker 2:I'm not going to let that slip and slide just because I've had a heavy night. You know that that ain't going to stop me. So I know, as a psychologist, I'm sure you deal with so many people having different. You know ways of dealing with things differently. For me, this is my motivation, this is my superpower the fact that I can wake up every single day and push myself and say you know what? It's a new day, I'm going to be better. Today. I'm going to. You know, I just, and I just for me. I need to stay in the game as long as I can, and if I need to be at my optimum, so be it. Nothing and no one can stop me from that.
Speaker 1:Then I mean truly incredible. And I have been watching you for you know, all these years. And even today you have a new show. You have a dance show on TV. You've been doing dance numbers that is moving in with Malayika. All this is not a piece of cake, right? This is not just a walk in the garden. So I'm sure you do get tired, physically, emotionally. So how do you pick yourself up on those days when you're really run down Of?
Speaker 2:course I do. I'm human, I will. I have my days where I'm exhausted, my body will not let me, my body just doesn't let me get out of bed. Or I've had a day where I'm just really low emotionally, physically, mentally, and I just want to have a good cry. There are days when I feel ridiculously bloated, I'm PMS-ing, I'm irritable, I mean, come on, I'm human. There are days where I don't want to see anybody's face. My son annoys the shit out of me because he said something which pisses me off. You know. You know, things are normal. I think it's just, it's all fine and you have to listen to your body. You got to listen to your system. You know, for me, sometimes I feel like a good cry helps me.
Speaker 1:It just helps me detox, you know, oh, it does. It's so underrated, you know it's so underrated.
Speaker 2:I'm telling you two things Highly underrated. Highly Is a good night's sleep and a good cry. People underrated so much they don't realize it and I sometimes I feel like I just I literally just shut everything off, have a good night's sleep or just sleep through the afternoon and I feel better. Or if I'm like I said, if I'm really emotionally high, strong or drained, a good cry really helps me. I mean, people say, you know, sometimes a good chat with your, with a friend, or you know something like that can can really, you know, make you think, you know, just kind of make you feel better. So I think these are the things that really kind of help and I and I it helps me for sure. So, yes, I have terrible days, there are terrible, terrible days, but I have my ways of dealing with it. I have my ways of of I don't fight it, I deal with it. It's very important you know to accept it and then accept it. You know fighting it is not the solution, dealing with it is a solution.
Speaker 1:So is there something that you can tell me which was extremely important, you know, to you in your earlier years, but it's absolutely not important to you anymore.
Speaker 2:I think the need of people or friendships in your life. When you're younger, you want to have, you want to make new friends and be surrounded by Lots of people because you feel that's what is popular or that's what is nice. Now I'm the kind of person you know, I don't want too many people around me. I just completely I have whittled myself down to a handful of people because I don't like excessive people in my life. I don't like excessive unnecessary, you know, friendships in my life. I don't.
Speaker 2:I find that very, very tiring. I find that very. It takes up too much of my energy. I need a certain kind of energy around me which is in terms of people, right. I find certain people very draining. I try and distance myself, no matter how much that may hurt or maybe, but I have to distance myself from any kind of somebody who drains my energy. I cannot, I can't be next to people like that. So, yes, I feel from from as young as youngsters, we want to have lots of people around us and have all of that, and as we get older, you kind of just need the bare minimum around you, literally, right.
Speaker 1:Is there any you know beautifully heartwarming memory that you have across your career, anything that comes to mind as the most beautiful memory you've had in this profession?
Speaker 2:Oh my God, there have been so many. How can I just I can never, ever. You know just that one One is very tough for me. But I've had such amazing I mean I don't know so many amazing memories. Yeah, so many.
Speaker 2:I mean right from the time I started, whether it was working with some of the most brilliant photographers in the country who would literally call me their muse. You know they'll be like you know, you are, you know. So I feel you know just something like that. Or or being told over the years that you know that, you've that, you know you've just, you've just gotten better with with time and age. You've kind of you know there's.
Speaker 2:I mean also when somebody just turns around and tells you listen, you know there's nobody like you. You know, over the years we've had the opportunity of working or shooting with so many people but there's, there's no one like you. You know. So I guess these are things when somebody tells you they really kind of stick with you, they really kind of make you feel amazing. It just kind of you just kind of feel I'm doing something, I'm doing something right in my, in my profession, you know. So, yeah, I think to find that one thing is very tough. I just think, like I said, when I was told very early on in my life by the most brilliant photographers that I was their muse, and that just kind of just made me feel amazing.
Speaker 1:How nice is that.
Speaker 2:I mean such a simple but powerful validation within the that's it, that's it, something as small, but just kind of takes you through life and just makes you feel so amazing, how nice.
Speaker 1:So tell me, there is this very fine balance between ambition and contentment, right? So you seem to be walking the line for so many years. You know your content, but you're ambitious, you had it all and you want it all. So how do you kind of walk this line? How do you draw the balance between? I don't think I've had it all.
Speaker 2:I still am. I still am very hungry, I'm still, I am constantly you know, constantly wanting more. I'm very, very ambitious, highly ambitious. See, contentment is very different. I think contentment comes with a certain amount of financial stability. Contentment comes with probably finding that right partner in your life, you know where you say, okay, chalo, now I'm content and now I don't need to do anything. So I think contentment is very different for different people.
Speaker 2:For me, as from the person that I am, and from the from where I've grown up, from a very, very middle class kind of a family where, where you know, financially we were not very, very stable, those are the years, my growing up years. Obviously, for me, being financially stable and independent is very important. It has a lot of weightage in my life. So for me, I will, you know, I will constantly like, every time somebody tells me but till, calm down, you know, you've done so much, you've earned so much. I'm like no, what you know, I don't ever feel that's enough. I always feel no, there's more that I can do and there's more that I can, you know.
Speaker 2:So I feel, like I said, it comes from a certain sense of, of my where, my growing up years where maybe I was not financially stable. We weren't. We didn't come from that kind of a background. So for me that is very, very important, very important. So that kind of. I will always try to strive harder because I will always feel, you know it's not enough. You know I still can do more and I still can be. I still need to to buy myself that home or or take my parents on a holiday or give you know I will always feel that I need to strive a little more because I need to, I need to get achieved a little more so that I can, I can have that, that luxury in my life.
Speaker 1:That adversity fueling the fire.
Speaker 2:It's always like that. It's just that sense of key, you know, and, of course, very, very ambitious, highly ambitious, and I am the kind of person that I can't sit still. I'm not somebody who can sit still. I need to be, I need to constantly. I need to constantly be doing things to fuel this energy of mine.
Speaker 1:We stimulate it intellectually to be stimulated in your work, constantly, yes. So tell me, malayaka, what annoys you the most about people? That one thing that you wish people would just stop doing.
Speaker 2:Oh God, talking too much.
Speaker 2:I think people today have an opinion about everything, man. I mean, it's like freedom of speech is great, but I just wish some people would just now refrain from having an opinion about everything. I find that so tiring, I find that so exhausting. I'm like shit, man. I mean, use that time and energy for something a little more constructive. You know, then just sitting down and having opinions and judging people all the time, I just find that really very, very, very draining. So, yeah, that pisses me off.
Speaker 2:Of course, I'm the kind of person who's I am very, very particular. I have an issue. I mean, I hate it when people are, you know, don't value people's time. I find that very, very annoying. I have an issue with certain amount of laziness For me. Somebody else may turn around and say you know, you may think it's lazy, but we think it's just. I don't like too much of procrastinating and you know, I feel if you put your mind to something, try and make it work, don't procrastinate too much. So there are these are a few things that I'm very, very. That is now whether it's a good part of me or whether it is not so good, I don't know, but that's just my personality. Yeah, it's a part of you, and why not?
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Like I said, for me, I may feel that somebody else may turn around and say, okay, you may feel, but that's really not the be all and end all. But that's how I am Fair enough.
Speaker 1:So tell me, let's talk about mental health. It's a very deeply personal question. I've asked this question to all my guests and had some amazing answers. So you know what's a physical first aid box right, a box where we keep little band-aids, antiseptic painkillers, and all of us have it at home for those minor cuts and bruises. But what if you were to have a mental first aid box? You know something you could just open and feel happy on some of those days where you feel run down emotionally and you want a little pick me up. So if you had to make a box like this just for yourself, what would you put in it?
Speaker 2:That's such a beautiful thought actually. Literally, that should be a chapter in a book, actually, Wow.
Speaker 1:There's just so much that makes you happy, but you don't have it accessible at all times.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I guess you know, yes, another thing which people don't take very seriously is mental health. I mean, a lot of people said, you know, like when we were little, I mean, we used to cope with so much but nobody quite realized the importance of mental health. Like when we were young, if we were going through something, we were acting up or we were, you know whatever we would get two thuppers and say, you know, literally our parents would give us two slaps and say, come on, move on. You know like, get on with it, not actually realizing that we were actually dealing with something. You know, that's probably why we were reacting. Right Now, thankfully, we have so much available to us. You know, in terms of external health. You know, if you're, if you've identified that you're dealing with something, there's so much of external health that you can, that you can get. I mean, not always can you get this help from your near and dear ones because they're not quite sure as to how to deal with it Right. They're also, you know, kind of you know kind of kind of literally walking through the dark and figuring how or why somebody is behaving a certain way. So now you have so much of external health, which is fantastic, which we didn't really have when we were, when we were little, so we didn't quite realize that what we were actually going through.
Speaker 2:True, but having said that, if there was a box, that I had to put things into it. I mean, I'm not somebody who, I'm not an escapist at all. I guess in my younger days I used to shove everything under the carpet, everything, and not deal with anything, because that was I thought that was the best way to deal with it, and that's largely a large part of my personality. With time, I've realized that I have to deal with certain things, I have to approach it, I have to talk about it, I have to address it. So, yes, with time I've learned I have to. You know, I can't just sweep it out of the carpet, because that ain't going to help any longer, like the way it did when I was a child. So, yeah, I've got to think if I have to put what into the box, I would For me I know, frivolous as it may sound, you know holidays really helped me.
Speaker 1:Oh, they're magical. I mean holidays heal why not?
Speaker 2:You know, they really heal, they really do. And the holiday could vary from anything, could be a detox or detox. I mean, I really do that every now and then. Actually, every time I feel like my batteries are running low, my energies are running low, I feel physically, mentally drained, I take off and I go to you know, any one of these places which predominantly deals with detoxing, right? So? So, whether it is going to an Ananda or a Vana or a or a Viva Maya or any of these, any of there are so many places I love going to these because I feel it really kind of resets everything. That's something I love. A holiday I really do. For me, that's probably number one on my on my list of things Just taking off. I need to just be able to take off and go someplace where I can recharge everything.
Speaker 2:They can put a little aeroplane in your box yeah, literally you know that's something. Or tickets and aeroplane or tickets, Both work Well, you know, I think for me, of course, a whole lot of memories that I hold on to, which always kind of puts me in In a good space, certain memories, certain thoughts, you know, which kind of bring back good.
Speaker 2:They kind of look for times, music, music is against, something that reminds me of certain times in my life or certain moments or whatever. So that food, food is something else that really keeps me happy, and I don't look at food as a crutch. I look at food as something that is very, you know, nourishes your fuse. It's nourishes me internally. It just kind of puts you know and I love so whether it means feeding somebody, cooking for somebody, feeding myself, you know. So it's that the process, I think the whole process of having to do that is that really nourishes me. So that's why I love going to places also, which is like a culinary, you know, upliftment for me. You know places where I'm going to go, you know places where food or wine or tasting, you know things like that I really, I really do. I really love that For me. Of course, my yoga is something that I really, really I put my yoga mat in it as well. So, yeah, these are some of the things that really helped me.
Speaker 1:That sounds like a really holistic box. I mean reboot myself. How beautiful. Thanks so much for sharing that with us. Before we come to a close of this beautiful conversation, malika, I always need the floor open to my guest. Is there a question that you would like to ask me as a psychologist?
Speaker 2:How is it talking to me? Is there anything that you can gauge? Is there anything that you feel that you, as a psychologist, is there something that you catch on, or is there something that you feel? I mean, you don't know me, you just know me from what you see. And now you speak to me. What is your assessment? What is it that you feel?
Speaker 1:I think it's very easy for people to misunderstand you. Like you said, your work has been extremely. It has been there for so many decades, but you've done it all so well. I believe I took you on for my podcast. I actually requested you to join me, simply because I feel that what people know of you people who know you is very different from what people just see you.
Speaker 1:And there's this whole bridge which is not something that everybody can cross unless they hear you talk, and that's an effort most people don't take. So it's very easy to see somebody on screen and say, oh, what is this? This is only dance. And, like you said, oh, what does she do? She just is dancing or moving her hips and earning a nice bit of money through it. But there's a lot that goes behind it, which is why I wanted to talk to you, to learn about this, to learn from you firsthand what you've done in your life, the whole resilience, the grit, what goes in the background. Now, for me this is new, that you have a background in psychology, then you have yoga in your life. All these are dots which form a beautiful pattern. It's just so unseen for everyone. So even for me, it was not something I knew, but it's fantastic to find these patterns in people, I'm sure you can't sit down and explain things to everybody.
Speaker 2:At the end of the day, you only let that many people into your life and that many people who are privy to your ups and downs and your highs and lows. Everybody else builds, and everybody kind of conjures up a certain kind of an image in their head purely by what they see. Now, if I'm going to sit down and try to change that every day of my life, not only am I going to gray before my time, I'm going to be a miserable person. I'm going to be miserable and I don't have the bandwidth for that. I'm too content with myself. I am Like I said. I have no qualms about saying it I'm very happy and content with myself.
Speaker 1:So what has happened nowadays, malika, is everybody has their own eco chambers, right, they live in that little echo and they only listen to what they have said and it comes back to them. So you tend to hear only what you put out. You tend to see only what you want to see. It is through these conversations that I like to break these echoes and I like to open out and just want to hear people's stories. And it's amazing. I mean, I find every story amazing because nobody has had a simple, normal life. And those two stories- will be.
Speaker 2:I mean same. I mean they might be similar, but not same Absolutely. Everybody has a different role, that they have walked upon a different path, that they have tread a different trajectory in life. Everybody has a different story to tell. So it's quite, I'm sure it's amazing Every time you do a podcast and you have to listen to them. I think it's quite amazing. It is. I'm sure I don't know how therapeutic it is, but I'm sure it is very insightful, if nothing.
Speaker 1:It's insightful, it's inspiring. It's lovely to share these stories with my listeners, and I think our conversation today has given me a massive takeaway. I'm taking back this whole idea of being unabashedly proud and taking credit where it is due for yourself, absolutely.
Speaker 2:And.
Speaker 1:I hope a lot more women do it. A lot of people work in women empowerment. You may not label yourself as an activist, but this is exactly what you're doing through your work.
Speaker 2:That's what I said. Somebody asked me this very recently. I said what matters to me is if I can actually inspire, and even a small section of people out there. For me, that's what matters Truly. And I'm sure this is going to do that In today's day and age. For me, I think that is the one takeaway. If you have to ask me as if I can inspire a section of society out there, then that means I've done my job well, I've done something right for that to happen.
Speaker 1:I'm sure this is going to go in that direction. I can't wait to get this episode out there and I'm just so grateful for your time. I'm so grateful for the connection, don't embarrass me by saying all of this.
Speaker 2:I just wish you all the very best and may be a fantastic season. I'm glad I could do it. I know I've been a little difficult because I've been living out of a suitcase Literally the first week I've had, and literally first yesterday I got back at night and I immediately I said today I have to do it. It is the first week that I have at home chilling, so I feel okay, I can accomplish a lot of things that I need to do at home Literally. But really thank you so much.
Speaker 1:It has been an amazing conversation. Thank you so much. I wish you all the best and all your andevas, and I hope in the coming decade we see lots of new things from you.
Speaker 2:Aishwarya, I look forward to that. I always do.
