Detangle with Mohit Suri

The question that changes everything sounds disarmingly simple: could you live without this person? From that single fulcrum, we unpack love, ego, memory, and courage with filmmaker Mohit Suri, whose Saiyaara has resonated across age groups and timelines. We talk about the moments that turn pride into care, why a forgotten name can cut deeper than public failure, and how a single tear can tell a whole story.

We walk through how love travels across mediums; letters, phone calls, texts, social DMs, yet speaks the same language in the body. Mohit shares why he cast fresh faces to meet today’s audience where they are, how he resists patronizing Gen Z, and why outgrowing your own benchmarks beats chasing anyone else’s. Music takes center stage as we explore why certain melodies live on: they anchor us to first rains and first kisses, proving that memorable art lives in the heart, not just the head.

Alzheimer’s becomes a delicate thread, handled with research and restraint. The film isn’t about the disease so much as the ache around it; the vanishing rituals, the slipping names, the fear of becoming unrecognizable to the person you love. We connect memory with music’s power to retrieve what time erodes, and we linger on the bravest line a hero can say: “Help me.” That confession pushes back against hyper-independence and makes room for honest dependence as a sign of strength.

We also face the double edge of social media, why real touch still beats perfect feeds, and how imperfect takes often feel truer than flawless ones. The conversation closes with a practical ‘mental first aid box’ : find the one person you can be fully yourself with, guard your physical health to protect your mind, and know the difference between a healthy low and a clinical spiral. If love, music, and memory matter to you, this one will stay. Subscribe, share with someone who needs it, and tell us: what’s your simplest definition of love?

Follow on Instagram @detangle_by_kinjal

Transcript

Setting The Stage

SPEAKER_01 0:01

Welcome to Detangle, where we untangle the complexities of life one conversation at a time. I'm your host, Dr. Kinjal Goal, a psychologist and a writer. Today I'm in conversation with Mr. Mohitsuri, a filmmaker whose stories have defined love, heartbreak, and emotional honesty for entire generations. With his latest hit Sayara striking such a deep chord with audiences, this felt like the perfect moment to pause and reflect. We'll talk cinema, love, growing up, and what it really feels to keep that deep feeling in a world that wants you to move faster and faster. Welcome to my show, Mohit. Thank you so much for taking the time.

SPEAKER_00 0:39

Thank you so much. I mean, I really appreciate the way you've introduced me over here because some of the qualities that you did mention are things I've always aspired to be. I'm not, I think I'm a work in progress. And the fact that you mentioned them, I think I'm going in the right direction.

SPEAKER_01 0:55

How lovely. I think we've gotten to a good start. Let's dive into the questions and let's see where they lead us.

SPEAKER_03 1:00

All right. Fireway.

SPEAKER_01 1:02

Gohit, as a psychologist, I don't think that a filmmaker can ever make a love story as deep and layered as Sayara or even Ashiki too without having felt many nuances of love himself. Do you want to talk a little bit about the love that you have shared with Udita over the years and how it has evolved?

SPEAKER_00 1:19

You know, I was I was just talking to a friend of mine who, you know, just before this podcast when who passed by, was going to meet somebody else, and she was talking about uh, you know, she's dating someone for a couple of years and she doesn't not take the step of getting married or whatever. And uh the question about uh question is how did you know? And the fact is, if I had to really break it down to the most the too many things that we've shared and everything, but there was one thing particularly that I did feel about Adita is there was this aspect which is when I lost my dad, and there was this moment where we were not married yet, and um she was going away at the airport, and we I didn't know when I was going to see her again. And I thought to myself, do I want to live the rest of my life without this person? Uh that the answer to that question was just, I think, my simplest definition of love. Because see, love has many different emotions, you know, even feeling jealousy, feeling angry, feeling possessive, feeling I mean, people call them as negative emotions, but they are real emotions. True. Uh, so love goes through all that. But the one thing uh love is with a person that you've not, you know, born with, your family you're born with, your friends you cultivate something, but love it doesn't, it's just a simple thing that would you want to spend your life without this person? Uh uh, would you would you and oh that's the choice. And and if you can't spend your life without that person, that person is the person you love.

SPEAKER_01 2:51

How lovely. Actually, it's so simply putna. Something that's so simple, we just overcomplicate it.

SPEAKER_00 2:55

Yeah, that's what I just think we we think too much. Um and uh we we actually complicate our own lives. Uh if you make it just break it down to a very simple thing. Can I I mean be without the person doesn't mean she has to physically be around you all the time. True. But uh, you know, cutting off that existence of that person from your life and you know, findings. I mean, that's the one thing I was not I have not reached with her ever.

Seeing Gen Z Without Judgment

SPEAKER_01 3:19

How nice. So let me come to the next question, which is actually the reason why I wanted to do this podcast. This is the question I want an answer to myself. So we see all around us, Gen Z has been written off by so many people. Employers are making memes on them, peers, seniors, popular culture. Everybody is writing them off as frivolous, not deep enough. But Sayara did the exact opposite. It allowed them to feel seen, to be taken seriously, and to be emotionally trusted. Was this intentional? I mean, how did you manage to be so honest, so generous towards the whole generation?

Casting New Faces For Truth

SPEAKER_00 3:54

So, you know, I had this great feeling that people were with the kind of films who were coming, we were all thinking, and they were invariably older people, including myself, like were thinking this is how the youngsters think. I mean, people were thinking that this is what they are going to be thinking, this is what the Gen Z wants. Uh, you know, this narrative is the same. We had this from before uh the older generation always told us love was so pure in our generation, and you guys don't know how to do it. Uh, what my basic emphasis is my great my grandfather from both sides, my grandparents on both sides had a love story. Okay. Uh they both, you know, ran away and got married or whatever. I mean, on either side, you know. So my grandparents had that. Uh probably at that time they were talking to each other through letters and they used to write letters to each other. And my grandfather was studying in Bombay, and when it was in Bombay at that time, not Bombay, and he was from Lahore, you know, and he came. Then they my grandmother was from Delhi. And similarly, here in Bombay, my grandfather was a Gujarati, my grandmother was a Muslim, so they had relationships. So they used to exchange letters before telephones were that common. Uh, then came the generation of my father. My father was from Delhi, my mother was from Bombay. Uh, they had a love story on the phone, maybe on you know, on calls and punk calls and stuff like that. Uh I think by the time I had my love story, the mobile phone was it, and you know, sending texts and messages and chatting with without the phone became a love story. Um and then now the new generation probably is doing it through social media and through. I generally believe the medium has changed, but the language is the same. When the heart breaks, whether it's on the phone or in a letter or on a message or on social media, it hurts in the same place. It pretty much, no matter how left and right you swipe, it's going to hurt slightly on the left side of your of your center of your chest. So I think that that doesn't change. So you can, you know, what we tend to misunderstand the younger gen. I think I think it's about we we always, you know, there's this tendency to think that just because you're older, you're better. Um, I think it's what I realized even when I was making the film is I had to go into their body language, I had to go into their world. Uh, I didn't have to look down upon them and tell them what to do. I had to walk along their side. Uh so even while making the film, I went into their world rather than them coming into mine. Uh so I and that's why I felt this language of love will be understood by everyone in this generation. If this actors can can live it. Uh that's why I cast new people. It was with you know, with Yashtraj and me, we did have the opportunity to cast big, but we intentionally chose to cast new people to connect to today's people.

The Glasshouse Confession

SPEAKER_01 6:51

Yeah, and I think um I think more than language, there are certain metaphors which are you know very beautifully placed throughout the movie. My favorite is the moment where Vani is sitting in the glasshouse and uh Krish is about to leave and she shouts and she says, I love you, but she says Mahesh. And in that moment, you know, Krishna holds her face, he kisses her, and that one tear rolls down his eye and falls into her hair. The tear is lost, but the emotion is there. And I found it so powerful that he is giving up his sorrow for her happiness. And I think it doesn't need language or any age barrier to understand the depth of that, you know?

SPEAKER_00 7:28

You know what actually works in that scene is because the same boy you've seen in the film fight with his best friends because they forgot his name in one article.

SPEAKER_01 7:36

Right.

Outdoing Yourself, Not Others

SPEAKER_00 7:37

In the beginning of the film. He fights with everyone to take his name. He wants his name to be remembered by everybody. But now when she's in this condition, she's the one forgetting him and calling him somebody else by the next lover's name. That's what hurts you more. What hurts you more that it's not a guy who's always okay about it. That's what I think you you arc in love, you grow in love, you change in love. If any if any love doesn't change you in some way, you know, everyone has this whole thing that I will be the way I am, love, love me if you take me. That's not love. When love happens, you will change. It will uh sometimes for the worst, also it could happen. But the point is uh I think the the nuance that I think uh I intentionally did is that would hurt anyone. That would hurt me, that would hurt an older generation, and that would hurt even the younger ones. Uh, you know, where you're where the person who wants to be known by everybody. Imagine the person you feel so much for is the first one forgetting you, and it's no fault of hers. Uh what you do realize is the scene before this where he tells her that he he pretends to have a friend who is losing a girl and she's going for a long-distance relationship. And where she's going, he can't go. If he could, he would give up and go there. Uh that's it's all a buildup for that moment. Uh so I think the nuance, I I think what I've tried to do is I tried not to be think too much and be contrived or be gimmicky. I just did what I think was feeling right at that moment of the film.

SPEAKER_01 9:09

Beautiful. Tell me now, I mean, you've done movies which have worked so well, but how does that uh kind of set the stage for your next creative venture? Now that Sayara is, you know, it has captured the entire country's hearts. I mean, it was something larger than life, everybody felt it, connected with it. But now, of course, you'll move on to your next project. Does this give you more confidence to move ahead with something bigger? Or does it make you feel a little pressurized that okay, I've done so well, I need to at least keep it up.

SPEAKER_00 9:41

So, you know, the thing is the two like the two kinds of pressure that people feel in this industry, I think in this world of entertainment, essentially, is one is to live up to other people, and the other one is to live up to yourself.

SPEAKER_03 9:54

Right.

SPEAKER_00 9:55

Uh and I think the constant I think the one which you're living up to other people is of you might do well or not in that you might have some success, some hits and some misses. But when you try to live up to yourself each time, you'll have longer careers. I think. Uh simply put, in my first film, there was a song called Volam Hevobhath, which was 20 years back.

SPEAKER_01 10:20

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 10:21

And that was a rage overnight, and everyone's like, How are you going to beat it? And I constantly, you know, everyone asked me why, how come you have such good songs? Because constantly in my head, I'm trying to I'm not trying to beat some other music or whatever. I'm trying to live up to Volamirtu Bhatta in every film. So comes a Kyamo J Bare, comes this thing, and then comes Ashiki too, which again becomes a benchmark. And then you start going ahead, and then and at that time it was when I was making Ashiki, everyone was like, You're competing with Ashiki one. That is the actual epitome of what music success was in Indian films. Uh so I didn't let that pressure build on me, but I wanted to beat Bola Mevobate, and I came with Tumiyo. Same the same problem happened when I was doing Sayara, where I had Ashiki 2 over my head.

SPEAKER_03 11:09

Yeah.

Creativity At Home And Parenting

SPEAKER_00 11:10

So I think, but slowly I realized it you're just staying at it bit by bit. I failed a lot of times. But in the try in the attempt, the attempt is always try to outbeat yourself and not to prove it to other people or live up to anybody else's standards, but to myself my own. And only when you try to beat yourself day by day, bit by bit, is you suddenly realize it's been 20 years and you're still here and you're still loved and you're still liked and you're doing this podcast today. Uh so so uh the idea is not to try to put your path in comparison with somebody else or with anybody else, because if you always try to do that, you will manage to reach a particular kind of so even you reach a kind of success for a minute or for there, but by the time you reach there, everything else is changed because somebody else has gone there. Uh so I think uh how you keep yourself alive and how you keep yourself what means matter with every film that does well, you need to realize that uh this is done, you should be appreciative, it's good, there's something you did right. Uh but when you go back to make a new film, you're starting on a clean slate again. Uh it's just like cricket. Uh you could have scored a 300 in the previous match, but when you go to play the next match, there's a good chance you can get out a duck again. Uh the only difference is if you are a Virat Kohli or you are a Sachin Tendulkar or you are someone who's made centuries, you it's not like you won't can't get out on a duck, but you have more probability of doing it again. That's you have to just go with that attitude and play your game like you play it. Analyze the pitch, see what the world is, see what you feel like. But in the end, you've got to play your own game. I've never seen anyone do well by playing someone else's game.

SPEAKER_01 12:59

Oh, absolutely. You can't be somebody else, they've already taken that up.

SPEAKER_03 13:03

You can't. You can't.

SPEAKER_01 13:05

Super. I would love to know what happens in your home at your table when you're with your wife. She's such a creative person herself, such an accomplished DJ. You yourself bring so much, so many creative thoughts in and out. How do your children react to this? You have young children, do they watch your movies? Do they sometimes say things which just inspire you to take it up and do something with it?

Alzheimer’s, Memory, And Music

SPEAKER_00 13:25

So I don't think we ever really bring that work thing back on the thing. We don't talk about stuff like what is going to be. We just talk like how it is normal. And I think that's, you know, the best part about uh you know the unusual part that everyone thinks that to be creative is that you have to suppose to be another kind of human being. Uh I don't think it's that. I think you have to be somebody who's in the audience who accepts the creativity. Like, for example, I love Duranda's music. Uh and uh I was hearing and I kept telling my wife, you know, I'm telling you, this music is going to do really well. And you would think that because I make one particular kind of film and kind of music and I've not made this kind of a song, uh I would not look at this. So the conversations on the table is, you know, and then the fact that uh I know my 11-year-old daughter was a fan of big dogs, and then when I saw that uh Aditya had and Chashwat had used Yahnu Mankind in that song, and my daughter was like, Oh, I was telling my daughter, listen, this song is coming, remember that guy. I'm not telling her, listen to Sayara. So I don't think the conversation on the table is about jamming with ideas and coming not to it. But how does my daughter inspire me? Is when she when I see how she connects to certain material, I tend to realize that in a year or two, by the time my next film is out, she's going to be my audience.

SPEAKER_01 14:45

Correct.

SPEAKER_00 14:46

And she's more in touch with them than I am. So when she's talking about people, and I remember I remember saying this to people in Ashtarj that this the song Run One Kind is going to do really well. Uh because he's he's with things. So I I think what we what how it helps is we let's we don't take ourselves seriously as creative people in that sense. We take our job seriously, not our not ourselves seriously.

SPEAKER_01 15:12

Oh, I love this. It's just so well said. Uh let's talk about something serious like Alzheimer's. What I loved, loved, loved about the use of the details in the movie. You didn't go wrong. It was so sound, it was it wasn't making a mockery of a disease, it wasn't over-romanticizing uh any ailment, it wasn't even making a m major tragedy out of it, you know, suddenly. You played it really, really well. And you didn't even sugarcoat it for a younger audience. Gen Z still connected with it. Was this a risk kind of response you were expecting, or was it a risk till the last day?

Why Some Melodies Live On

SPEAKER_00 15:48

You know, see the Prime So one of the things I put on my board when I was writing this film, when I was listening to it, I clearly put it on my whiteboard saying this film is not about the disease. This film is not about the music industry or music. This film is about love. Okay. So what I wanted to cater to, because I know there is a lot, I mean, although Alzheimer's is quite pretty common in a lot of older people, and the whole uh, you know, anomaly you see it at an age where uh people are relatively weaker and not in, you know, you see it at that age. So I I did research a bit about it, about having at a younger age, the the basic things that they spoke about was about how, you know, the unsettling feeling of a person, the confusion, the aggression, plus because of not knowing and forgetting and being disoriented and stuff like that. Uh so that was the research we did a bit on it. But what I felt once I've always felt, you know, it's not the disease that really kills or hurts you. It's the it's the emotion connected and the heartbreak that's connected to any disease. I'm not just talking about Alzheimer's, even if it's, you know, if a person is doesn't have a leg or has cancer, it is the emotion connected with the disease that kills people on the other end, especially your loved ones. Uh like for example, uh if you have uh you know you have a person who can't walk, you will always miss running with them in the beach and stuff like that. And those movements would hurt you. Uh so I thought Alzheimer's was apt for it because uh one is the whole emotion that whenever you hear a great song, it takes I mean it happens to me at least, but whenever you hear a great song, it takes you back to some memory. Uh any song that stayed with you. It could be like it could take you back to college days, it could take you back to a love, it could take you back to everything. So music and memory were connected. And what if someone was losing their memory? Would music help you get it back? So I found this really interesting relationship between love, memory, music. Uh I thought were kind of interconnected uh with the mind and the heart, and you know, kind of and so I just felt that this was an interesting concept to make a film on. But what I felt about Alzheimer's is that uh it's it's heart-wrenching to see somebody fade away like this, uh, not physically. So, you know, uh everyone's physical death somehow, I'm not saying it hurts less, but you know the person's not there. And imagine seeing someone fade away like this bit by bit in thought. So it's not just the body that fades, it's even your idea that fades. That's scary.

SPEAKER_01 18:35

So I think uh this is where you got that beautiful monologue from when she's explaining to Krish what a good song means to her. It's such a powerful monologue. I think that just brings the whole movie together. And as she's talking about how it should make you remember things, how it should connect with your heart and not your mind. I think it just is all there in that one dialogue.

SPEAKER_00 18:56

Yeah, I mean, it's like we hear so many things. I always have thought that when I was in school, we studied so much, so much of history, we had long, long chapters. Some very interesting teachers, some very good orators also told me things. Why does it that some things stay and some things don't? Why is it that some people get remembered even if though they have very less contribution in their life? But some people who really helped you a lot forget about them, they fade away. Because I think some stay in the heart. That's what my belief is.

SPEAKER_03 19:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:24

They don't get bashed up in the head. But the heart, I mean, you know, as a different part of your subconscious. I mean, I I mean that.

SPEAKER_01 19:31

I know, I know. I know. We just use it as an easy metaphor, but yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:34

Yeah, we is yeah, but they they why why is it like why is it that some melodies stay with you and some don't? It's not like you didn't enjoy that melody, you didn't enjoy it at that moment, but some stay with you for years. Uh and those are uh I have my melodies have lasted longer. Like you know about Wolameo Bhatta and this, that, and all, even 20 years later.

unknown 19:58

Yeah.

Art That Moves The Body

SPEAKER_00 19:59

Uh Udita Goes and plays some songs from my film Awarapan, which was eight 18 years back almost. And the young kids dance dancing at it. And I was like, Were they even born when this film came out? How has it lasted so long? So somewhere that song, those songs, and when that film released, it didn't do well in the box office, actually. But the music stayed on. So something has stayed in their hearts, I think. So I I feel uh that monologue was the theme in which I was I started the germ in which I started making this film. Oh wow where I thought that memory. Yeah, that was the germ where I started singing whenever you remember a song, it takes you back into a moment. The first love, the first reign, that first kiss. Uh and make music that way, that it take it takes somebody back into that moment, not to a recording room, not to how the technique is, not how the form is.

SPEAKER_01 20:50

Correct.

SPEAKER_00 20:51

But to that moment with somebody special.

SPEAKER_01 20:54

How beautiful. You know, this also reminds me so many times we hear this very old at age that art is inspired by real life, and sometimes life is inspired by art. But when you look at filmmaking as a creative outlet, do you think working on a romantic movie inspires deeper love even at home? Or does a romantic phase in life inspire you to create a more romantic film? How does it work?

SPEAKER_00 21:16

So I think any form of art should evoke an emotion. Uh, you know, we tend to look at love as an emotion, but even laughing is an emotion. Getting happy is an emotion. I think India, my boss used to teach me this that India doesn't watch films with the heart or the head, they watch films with the body. Because the body knows more emotions. Like if you watch a funny film, you should you should bodily laugh. When you watch a great action film, you should want to whistle. That's a body reaction. Why do people whistle when they enjoy something? Who decided that? It's a body reaction to entertainment. When it's a dance film, they want to get up and dance. And when it is a scary film, you should physically get jitters, you know, those jump scares. And if it's a love film, you should you should cry. You should feel the if it's an emotional film, you should cry. So it's the body that feels emotion more than the heart or the head, is what he used to tell me. And I think any form of film should evoke an emotion. So I I would, I mean, I tend to believe that, yeah, if you could put out a great love story out there, it should like I know some people who prescribed this film to watch. Like I I heard about a friend of mine who is a psychiatrist who's was told to say that please go watch this film. They were having a couple therapy things and go watch it and you know what you're what you're fed in love. Why are you talking about it?

SPEAKER_01 22:31

I completely understand. Yeah, this is so beautiful.

SPEAKER_00 22:35

Yeah, but that's that thing. But if you but similarly, if you're if you're down and out and you have had a bad day, sometimes I think maybe people won't want to go back home and watch my favorite Netflix. They'll want to watch something lighthearted and get happier. So this I believe in all every film, everything should connect to an emotion. But yes, I just think in a world which is I think suddenly we've we've become, we've we feel it. I'm telling you, we all feel it, but it's I don't know why of late people have started looking as love as an as a weak emotion. Dependence on someone is a weakness. Uh being needing someone and not being able to function without that person as a weakness. I don't know why people have started becoming I think dependence is a reality. I think to tell someone that I need you, I I cannot do this without you is being honest to yourself, not to that person. And I think if this film has uh what it has reinstated with people is even with between all his brash armor and his anger and his I can do everything my own way, I don't need anybody, in the end he breaks down and says, I need you.

SPEAKER_03 23:42

Help me.

SPEAKER_00 23:44

Uh a very senior filmmaker, actually the filmmaker of Pushpa, Sukumar sir, called me up after he saw the film and he told me the best dialogue in your film, and he's a great writer, and he's got one of the best, I think he's one of the best writers the country's ever seen. And I'm a big fan of his. He called me up after seeing the film and said, The best dialogue in your film is when the hero says, Help me.

SPEAKER_03 24:05

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 24:06

Um and this kind of hero. Uh, because I think it's been a while since men have started admitting to the fact that they need help.

SPEAKER_01 24:16

I think what you're talking about, Mohithya, is hyper-independence. Everybody wants to be independent to a point of a fault where you know they want to do everything themselves, not depend on anyone for anything.

SPEAKER_03 24:28

Yes. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 24:30

Which which is which is the part is quite sad. I mean, it's beautiful to have somebody you can actually depend on.

SPEAKER_00 24:37

Yeah, I mean, it's good to have someone. I know there's a lack of having that, but I think it's if everyone starts like, and that's why I think we are lonelier, and you know, it's amazing. We've created all the tools to connect with like social media and you know, and communication, like mobile phones and everything, and uh, you know, we have Starlink. We've invested so much in connecting people, but we end up not talking so much. Um, you know, with school friends, you have Facebook and stuff like that and all that stuff. But we used to make that attempt to make a call to them. Now, just because they are on our Facebook page, we think we're in touch with them every day, but we're really not talking to them. I think that is become the thing of the times, of the times right now. But more than that, that's a different kind of thing. I also feel somewhere um just off late, I think there's just been that uh the submissive nature of I need you, even though I can't coexist, I can't exist without you, uh is considered a weak emotion nowadays. I just feel that people feel that way nowadays.

Social Media’s Double Edge

SPEAKER_01 25:39

Yeah, I think it'll come around. People are learning. So this emotion should come around. But tell me more now that you spoke of social media, how does social media really fit into your worldview? I mean, I remember when Sayara was, you know, just out and it had formed such a large part of the public opinion online. It was elevated to the next level. The whole generation was experiencing Sayara twice, once in the theaters and once on social media. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 26:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 26:05

But I'm sure, like I'm sure you've uh discussed this also earlier with your friends, and you all must have all spoken about how it's a double-edged sword. It takes away so much from a celebrity, it takes away so much from somebody who's, you know, possibly out there just doing some creative work. So you will probably have to balance both because you can't disappear from social media, but you can't embrace everything about social media. So, how do you experience it? How do you balance it? What do you do?

Human Touch Beats Perfect Feeds

SPEAKER_00 26:28

So let me put it this way. I actually didn't really do much on social media. We didn't do much on social media. We in fact didn't even do interviews with the actors. I went out and spoke about the film and I only spoke about the film and not about my own person uh and my own story. I only spoke about the film, I only sold the product. But uh, we didn't do too much, nor did big films like Durandar do, nor did a film like Animal do. But all these three films were like viral on social media. Okay. Because I think it's when people like it, I think other people like to express it on social media. And uh, I think uh I can guarantee tell you it was not the Yashraj people and the marketing thing that actually pushed it. Yes, they did, might have just underlined or spoken, made some people told people about how it is going viral on social media, but they didn't create it. That was just created by people on their own because that is their people. This is a way today how the audiences try to connect with the product when they like something. Uh making their own memes, making their own spoof versions, all that is fun. That's how it gets into pop culture. That's how it is today. So you can't escape that. But what you can't make your life is social media. You can't make it that. I have I'm on all social media, but I don't keep it on my phone. Uh I I stick my phone just to be for maybe a WhatsApp at the max, but uh rest is used as a phone and for the other apps and stuff like that. But all the other social media apps, not that I have anything against them. It's just I I think that everyone is projecting a side of theirs that they want to be known as, uh, and what they're trying to do, as opposed to what is reality, actually.

SPEAKER_01 28:06

Right. It's a reality.

SPEAKER_00 28:08

Yeah. So I think there will be a fatigue. It's new right now. Uh and like everything else, it will settle down. Uh, I hopefully hope by my daughter's 11, by the time she's a little older, it is a little less involved like in their life and they're living the real life.

SPEAKER_01 28:24

You know, it's amazing that I have uh I have teenagers myself, and uh both my girls decide to leave the phones switched off in each other's rooms when they want to do something of substance. So I think the next generation has decided that okay, this thing needs to go.

SPEAKER_00 28:38

Yeah, that's a great thing because you're you are interacting with people who are not around you. Then what was wrong with with uh and you know a lot of things have happened in this generation for these kids, I think, also with things like COVID and stuff like that. And at that time when they were locked down, they discovered more of social media and they discovered they can still be connected with their people through these methods. So they got they they would I'm not saying it created it, it it just kicks it just pushed the process faster, you know? Which was going to probably take 10 years, it's happened much faster. So you can't blame them. But the point is what I think it is right now there, but what has in the end sustained from years to years and why we've survived as a species is human touching being there for each other, and you cannot replace that.

SPEAKER_01 29:25

Yeah, just holding hands is so much more beautiful than sharing reels and memes all night.

SPEAKER_00 29:30

Yeah, you know, they've they've actually scientifically proven that, right?

SPEAKER_01 29:34

That it does it does create.

SPEAKER_00 29:37

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 29:38

And a few seconds of a good hug, it can do so much, it's magical.

SPEAKER_00 29:42

Yeah, so I guess that's that's uh that you you that I think no matter how advanced social media and the virtual world goes, they're not going to be able to compensate for that.

Imperfection That Feels Right

SPEAKER_01 29:52

You know, there was something very beautiful that I read about um AI bots also, which you just brought up uh in the last question. That um why can't we really fall in love with an AI bot? Why will that never happen? Because that bot will never need us. We need someone to need us.

unknown 30:08

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 30:08

We need someone to want us.

SPEAKER_03 30:10

Yes, that's a great way to say it.

SPEAKER_01 30:12

Yeah, it can validate you, but it will never need you. And if it can't turn around and give you a hug and say, I need you, help me, you're not going to fall in love with that bot.

SPEAKER_00 30:21

That's true. Actually, I I I I also would like to tell everyone this that you know you keep complaining about what all I mean, you appreciate all the good things that your partner does, but you come and you complain about all the the few things that he or she is bad at and you wish you could change them. But you know, honestly, if she changed all that, would you still love her the same way? Exactly. Because you appreciate her more. Because so I that's what I feel. I think in this world of AI and everything else, I think what in all aspects, we're in the end going to start paying for human error.

SPEAKER_01 30:52

Yeah, yeah, true.

SPEAKER_00 30:54

Uh we're going to start wanting and demanding and appreciating human error more. Yeah, might make perfect people, perfect hairstyles, perfect photographs. But what will touch you more is that imperfect thing. Uh, you know, even sometimes the best take that we take on a set is not the one where everything went right. Sometimes the focus is slightly off, but it felt more right.

SPEAKER_01 31:14

Huh?

SPEAKER_00 31:16

And we go ahead and we use that take because that felt right. It wasn't perfect, but it was right.

SPEAKER_01 31:20

It's so nice to see this from your perspective, you know. It's very, very rare that you enjoy something as a viewer, but then you see the perspective of somebody who actually created it. And you know that those little things matter to you, those little moments shifted something in the whole story. So nice to hear all this.

SPEAKER_00 31:35

Yeah, so perfect dazzles you and a slightly rough but right actually touches you.

SPEAKER_01 31:43

Oh, absolutely. And I think more than being entertained, we all want to be touched. We all need that connection, even in a movie.

SPEAKER_03 31:49

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 31:50

Beautiful. Let me take you into my favorite question on the show now, Mohit. This is a question I ask all my guests, and through five seasons, I have collected such amazing answers. We've all heard of a physical first aid box, something in which we keep our painkillers, antiseptics, you know, for those minor cuts and bruises. But what if I were to ask you to keep a mental first aid box?

SPEAKER_00 32:09

Oh, I've been asking this question a lot to everyone all my life.

SPEAKER_01 32:13

Oh, really? How lovely. I mean, what would you put in it? Tell me what does Mohit's mental first aid box really look like?

SPEAKER_00 32:21

You need to have that one person who you can be your complete self with.

SPEAKER_01 32:26

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 32:27

Uh, I mean, in the end, what for an alcoholic, what is a sponsor? For someone who's suffering from a mental ailment, what is the psychology of the psychiatrist that you're talking to? Or sometimes, you know, for somebody it could be a guru. And for someone it could be a friend, someone it could be a partner, someone could be that. You have to identify that one person and put that person in that box. It might not be the person you're supposed to by society be with.

SPEAKER_01 32:50

Oh, right.

SPEAKER_00 32:51

But you need to find that one person where you can be the person that you actually are, the person, the flawed person that you actually are. And that one person, and that's the one person you can't lie to, whoever that person is. And that's very difficult. That is very difficult to identify, but I think we should make it a principle to find that. Uh I know it's a lot of things to entrust, but I think if everyone thinks that way, and think that we have to be there for that one other person, we'll find somebody for ourselves also.

SPEAKER_01 33:21

Yeah, and we'll also learn to be kind to that person, to ourselves, to everybody. It's just that simple.

SPEAKER_00 33:27

Yeah, I think that's the most primary, more important thing. The other thing I think would definitely, I mean, surprisingly, I would think having physical health is actually better is very uh important. So if you have a kid to get that cracked. Surprisingly, I've seen people who somehow are physically taking care and I'm not mean by having ripped bodies and abs and all. Uh, but having just a missing healthier people, uh, no matter what you feel, that alcohol and substance and all that stuff can be an immediate fix to how you're feeling right now. I've just rarely seen healthier people are better mentally.

Bodies, Minds, And Healing

SPEAKER_01 34:03

I love this angle. I have never heard this answer before. I mean, nobody has ever compared their mental first aid box to a physical healthy box. Amazing. Thank you so much for this.

SPEAKER_00 34:13

Yeah, yeah. What are the other kind of answers? Just in case you were asking, what are the other things people have suggested, just in one word?

SPEAKER_01 34:18

Oh, it's different. It's so different for everyone. I mean, I've had such amazingly different guests, also. One person had given me a very interesting answer. They wanted to put a word of cash in it. They said we overthink things. If I have cash, I'm gonna go shopping. And there have been people who've created boxes with simple things, you know, dark chocolate, QR codes for their favorite songs. I'm sure most of these people must have put in the Sayara soundtrack, also. But uh simple things which really matter and which can uplift you. We don't take care of these small things enough, but they really work.

SPEAKER_03 34:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 34:50

Okay, let me take you into the rapid fire round. No second thoughts, answer real quick. Your favorite book.

SPEAKER_00 34:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 34:57

What's your biggest pet peeve?

SPEAKER_00 34:58

Uh elaborate, please. What what are the kind of pet peeves that you would think of?

SPEAKER_01 35:02

Something which just irritates you. I mean, you just have to see it or sense it, and it just gives you that that physical he became.

SPEAKER_00 35:07

I don't like people I don't like people being lazy.

SPEAKER_01 35:12

Okay. The one thing that you believed in but no longer do.

SPEAKER_00 35:15

Oh, um luck.

SPEAKER_01 35:18

Okay. Your most prized possession. How beautiful. Um, Moha, before we come to our closing remarks, I always uh keep the floor open for my guests. Is there a question that you have for me as a psychologist?

SPEAKER_00 35:30

Yeah, I I always have wanted to know. Um I've like I always felt when it comes to uh uh like regular surgeons or doctors or whatever, it invariably they will suggest a medicine to you and uh they will suggest a treatment to you or an operation or procedure to you. But in the end, it's the body that heals itself, right? I mean you can help the symptoms, but you can't really uh you can't cure a person, right? Technically, it's the body that really kicks has to heal by itself, right? Um true. Is it the same way with the mind or the soul?

SPEAKER_01 36:09

Um, let me break this down into two parts. The physical part first. Yes, if you are in a space where your body is able to heal itself. For example, when we lived in those years when we had clean water, great food, superb air, the sunlight actually gave us vitamin D. At that time, the body was also helped by all the elements around us. Now, unfortunately, we are not being strengthened as we were. So we do need external help. Also, the ailments.

SPEAKER_00 36:37

Well, I'm not saying I'm not saying you don't need external help. I'm saying that um uh what the doctors already suggest is a procedure, right? It's not they don't they can't change your body composition as such, right? If you have diabetes, yeah, you can't change that.

Highs, Lows, And True Diagnosis

SPEAKER_01 36:52

Absolutely. And anybody who claims that they can is actually taking you for a spin. So even in mental health, even in even in mental health, sometimes we need to have a patient on an anxiolytic or an anxiety drug. It's not because that patient is weaker, it's not because that patient can't function without the drug and it, you know, it's the it's their fault. Sometimes it just gets too heavy. For example, a broken bone needs to be set. Once you've set the bone, then you will start your physiotherapy. Similarly, sometimes chemically the brain gets so bogged down that it needs to be reset with medication, and only then the psychotherapy can start, and then your natural resources, your emotional resources can be used to truly heal you. So I think it's this you know, fine balance that doctors and patients play with, and you will be surprised at how the same procedure or the same surgery or the same medication, it never works the same for two people.

SPEAKER_00 37:44

Exactly. That's what I've I've realized that. Yeah, I've seen that because some like I'll see some people have put on weight because of something, some people have lost weight because of something, some people are reacting to the medicine, some people are not reacting to the medicine.

SPEAKER_01 37:56

Correct, because our bodies are so beautifully unique.

SPEAKER_00 38:00

And would you just I've also wondered in today's time, if a person comes to you and you realize has certain um like I'll be honest, my my my job requires me to have highs and lows in the sense if I don't feel good about something, uh if I don't feel bad about something, I will not strive to do something good. And if I feel too good about something, I need the low to come back to me. I think. Uh but I think there's a tendency to believe in one standard. I think uh that people should be at this efficiency level. Have we stopped? Have we started overanalyzing people's minds today, also?

SPEAKER_01 38:35

Um, yes, and we are also in the pursuit of happiness, which is.

SPEAKER_00 38:39

I'm not talking about schizophrenia, yeah. I'm not talking about schizophrenia, I'm not talking about those really serious diseases. No, no.

SPEAKER_01 38:45

I'm talking about even I'm talking about the basic pursuit of happiness. We don't need to always be happy, we don't need to always be entertained or stimulated. We need boredom, we need sadness, we need everything.

SPEAKER_00 38:57

Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 38:58

So, uh, in fact, let me tell you, Javit Saab was on the show in season one, Javed Atra Sab, and so beautifully he explained that all his traumas, all his lows, and his sadness makes him write so beautifully. He says if psychoanalysis ever cured him, he would be a great happy person. Yeah, but he said I would never write like this.

SPEAKER_00 39:17

Exactly. That's exactly what I feel about myself. I also I mean, if I didn't feel deeply about something, I would not write about it. I would not put it out there. I always feel that in today's, what I'm worried about today's time is there's a pill for everything.

SPEAKER_01 39:31

No, but I think uh we need to draw, you know, we need to draw the line between sadness and depression. See if there is a low which can be handled, if there is a sadness which can then be overridden over a you know over a time, it's all right. But some people who are clinically depressed, no matter what they do, they cannot go for a run, they cannot heal themselves. These are the people who really need psychological intervention.

SPEAKER_00 39:54

No, no, I'm with that. I'm I'm with that. I think a paid help is better than someone who's got the vested interest for it. I mean, a doctor who's Clinically knows how to do it and done it before. My only concern is sometimes when a person is a little more overanxious and a person is a little more edgy and you give him things to calm him down. Maybe that's what he's made for. That's what his role was in society. I mean, I'm talking about not the one who's aggressive or something, but if someone hyper uh why do you want to make him sit down? Why do you want to make him fit into a line? Maybe he's not meant to be that to him. And I just think these are things that we are auto-analyzing. But I'm not against mental health. I've I've got myself.

SPEAKER_01 40:31

No, I get where you're coming from. Even in uh in neurology, there's a lot of neurodivergent thinking that we are now accepting. You know, like earlier there was something which was good and bad, there was something normal and abnormal. Now we have a whole spectrum and we are learning to coexist. Which I think will also happen with mental health, hopefully, soon where you know that somebody's of a certain personality type and you accept them with their flaws in that personality instead of trying to quickly fix it, you know, like put a band-aid on it, put a pill in and sort it out.

Closing Reflections

SPEAKER_00 40:59

Yeah, I mean, I think we survived as a species also because we had all different kinds of people. The over-enthusiast always wanted to overdo it. The one who was over anxious always stopped the over-enthusiast from going ahead. There was everyone who interacted with each other, the one who was over couldn't sleep was always waking them up, the one who was sleeping all the time was putting everyone to bed. I just think everyone had a role to play. I think now we've just like gone micro with everything. I just feel that's what I keep, but I understand. I completely am, I've I've I've understand the thing about mental health more than anybody else. I've had people in my family and myself dealing with it for talents. But I I think that uh and we should not be ashamed of it. Uh, and we should we should be out there. Uh, I just feel that now there's a tendency to put everyone in a box, I is what I'm getting a little worried about.

SPEAKER_01 41:46

You're right. You're right. And it's this this distinction, this whole triage that we need to do. Not everybody needs to go into the ICU. Some people can just go home and rest. Similarly, in mental health, not everybody needs a regimen of you know antipsychotics. Somebody will probably just need therapy. So, yes, you're right. We need to have that nuance, we need to have more trained people. One of the major problems right now is we don't have enough trained people, and that's where things are falling apart. So I hope that in the future we have more and more trained psychoanalysts, psychologists, psychotherapists, psychiatrists, so many.

SPEAKER_00 42:18

Yeah, I agree.

SPEAKER_01 42:19

This has been a conversation, Mohit, that I really didn't expect would take this turn. We started off simply talking about creativity and filmmaking, and look how far we've come. It has been amazing. I am just so glad. And like I told you at the beginning, these are questions that I had for myself. And I'm just so happy and so privileged that I can share these answers with my audience. It's a great way to learn. Thank you so much for teaching me a little bit something about your life, about your creative journey. I wish you all the very best with everything that you do in the future. And I can't wait for what you're doing next. So, all the best.

SPEAKER_00 42:52

Thank you so much. Thank you so much, Liz.