Hey everybody, welcome back to. I Am Me. I am your host, liz Bachman, and today is actually a little different. My episode today is going to be just me, so I hope everybody didn't just run away, but you already saw the title of the episode, so you're locked in it now. No, but in all seriousness, I'm going to start doing episodes that are just me. I still absolutely have episodes with guests, because I do really enjoy learning and talking to new guests and just learning about different things and what people are doing and how they're chasing their dreams and as corny as it might sound how they're being them.
Speaker 1:For me, I'm just going to be talking about different ways that I'm learning, growing, evolving. This stuff is going to be more mental health and wellness and just me being honest and vulnerable with you. I don't have all the answers, but I think sometimes it's just helpful to hear from someone who might be going through something a little similar to you, because we're all humans, right, and we're all trying our best to figure it out. The other thing I want to point out real quick is that I am actually filming outside today. I am trying to. I'm at a public park and I'm trying to make audio as best as I can for everyone, because I still want this to be an enjoyable experience. I'm also still filming myself, so if you're someone who likes to watch this kind of stuff on YouTube, it'll still be up on my YouTube channel. Sorry, something keeps touching my leg and I think it's a bug, but it's not.
Speaker 1:So, with all that said, let's dive into today's episode, into today's episode, and today I want to talk about me and get to know me a little bit, because I've done, I think, 11 episodes now and I've never really talked much about myself. I mean, I know I talk about myself in those episodes. If you can't tell, I like to talk, but I've never really told people my story or kind of what they can expect from me. Sorry, I'm scratching my leg and I realized that I am in fact being filmed, so enjoy that to anyone who views it. So I am absolutely a goofball and I love that about myself. I love that I'm silly and not afraid to be the dork in the middle of the room, so to speak, but something that I haven't opened up with a lot of family and even people outside of my inner circle I guess that don't know me as well or people who see me online, is that I also struggle with some pretty serious depression and anxiety, and I know who doesn't right. But it's something that I actually want to start talking about because, as much fun as it is to be an extrovert and silly and goofy, I've been through some stuff.
Speaker 1:I have self-harmed I've wanted to in my life. I've been in a four month outpatient mental health program and this isn't going to be all about mental health, but I think it's important to reveal that side of me. I also am someone who wants to pursue acting and music and I have off and on, but I've also very much given up on those dreams because it feels like a bad relationship, like the bad boyfriend that you keep going back to, even though they let you down every single time, and I know part of that is I have not done my work in the relationship, that there's definitely ways that I could be showing up more in the relationship, this relationship of acting and music and being an entertainer. But after 10 years of pursuing acting off and on, I've had different health things. Like I said, with my mental health, I also randomly had brain surgery back in 2020. And we will get into that in a different video, but it's something I don't want to give up on, and I think the only way you can't succeed in life is if you quit, and I've definitely had those moments where I absolutely want to quit, and I'm sure other people have had those moments too, and that is okay.
Speaker 1:I thought that, in all honesty, I would be a star by now, and I think it's funny because I'm like, oh, don't say that, that sounds so egotistical, but I think if you want to be an entertainer, you I mean, if there's really an actor or a musician out there there might be that says they don't want to be famous I don't know that I believe them because, of course, like, being famous is a way that signals that you are having some success in those things. So, yeah, I'm not going to lie about the fact that I would like to have some level of fame in my life. I don't know that I want to be Taylor Swift famous. I would like to actually be able to go to a coffee shop without being mobbed, but it is something that I want and I think that's also something a lot of people want in this social media age. We're all itching to be relevant, right?
Speaker 1:But here's the thing I've noticed the harder I try, the more these things feel unattainable, and I think that comes from limiting beliefs. Basically, I create my reality with my beliefs, right? So I believe that I'm not going to be able to have these things. So what I'm actually doing on a subconscious level is creating a reality in which I don't get these things. Let's make this an example. I want a really big role, right? Let's call it a co-star role. I'd be hella happy with a co-star role. If you don't know what that is, don't worry about it. But I've never got a co-star role before. So I start believing that I could never get a co-star role. Well then I start, on a subconscious level, making sure that that belief happens, because that is my belief. And the thing about beliefs is, it's not fact, it's a belief. So our subconscious has a really powerful way of taking our beliefs and making them our reality, which is why it's really important to break away from these limiting beliefs. There's a huge wasp. Okay, it left Scary.
Speaker 1:In the past 10 years, in my 20s, I've really gotten stuck in these cycles that, even though they might not be true, I make them true. How do we actually get out of these cycles. You have to start doing the work, and that is something that I've put off because it makes me anxious. But I'm actually at a point in my life where I'm doing the work, and the beautiful thing about it is you don't have to be on anyone else's timeline. You can do the work at your own pace, and if you're feeling anxious or overwhelmed or like you're behind, it's okay. You're not behind. You are exactly where you are supposed to be in this moment, and society wants to tell you that you need to have certain things done by a certain age, and that just is not true.
Speaker 1:Journaling, meditating, deep breathing all these things, these modern wellness things these things have been around for centuries. These aren't new. Now we're just seeing them pushed in this influencer kind of way, and you actually have to do the thing. It doesn't matter which thing you do. Maybe you like to journal, maybe you like to meditate, maybe you hate those. Find something that works for you. Maybe it's going outside, maybe it's being on a walk, but you have to stop engaging with this online presence and start engaging with yourself. The thing that's gonna heal you and the thing that's gonna move you forward is you. Isn't that crazy. Let's say that again the thing that's going to help you and the thing that's going to move you forward is you, but you have to actually do the things, whatever that is, and however small. That is that's what I mean when I say it's on your timeline. You're not competing against anybody else. You're not doing anything.
Speaker 1:I know we are constantly comparing ourselves online and it feels like we are doing this against other people, but it's just not true. The life that you want is within reach and the only person that can do that is you. But the thing is, you can do that. You can achieve the thing that you want to do, and I say this to myself as much as I'm saying it to you, because I'm at a point where I'm starting to believe in myself again, even though for years, I've just kind of like not given up, but given up. Like I just, at a certain point, kind of took myself out of the game and decided that the things that I want were just not happening for me. Seemed to be happening for everybody around me, but not for me, and that's a whole conversation. But this episode I just want to take a second to encourage someone to just focus on you, however small, take a minute to just go and do for yourself and to be honest with you about how much like I don't want to do the work.
Speaker 1:I did not want to come and do this episode today. I feel a lot better now that I've done it, but I did not want to. I literally looked at my socials because I've been low-key obsessing over them. How quickly are they growing? Do people care? I looked at my socials, didn't see what I wanted, didn't get the dopamine hit from having likes, views, follows, whatever and decided I wanted to check out. I wanted to go into old patterns, sit on the couch, not do this.
Speaker 1:I didn't want to come and make my podcast episode, even though that's what I needed to do today, but I did it anyway, and part of it is we're not always going to feel like it, you're not always going to want to do it, you're just not. I mean, I know I feel like a fortune cookie, but the thing that's so amazing about doing the hard thing over and over again is the hard thing becomes easier and easier and easier because our brains are so resilient and so adaptable. And if you feel stuck, I promise you you can change your life. All right, I hope everybody has a beautiful day. I hope you enjoyed this ramble session. I really appreciate anybody who sat and listened to this. But just remember, you really are. You're beautiful and you are capable of so many wonderful things. All right, I love you. Thank you for listening.