Light Up Your Business
Welcome to the Light Up Your Business podcast, where we dive deep into the strategies, stories, and insights that drive growth, change, success and innovation for small business owners.
Each episode dives into the struggles behind the scenes—from burnout and financial pressure to self-doubt and juggling personal life. Whether you’re just starting out or scaling up, this podcast offers candid conversations, practical advice, and encouragement to help you stay grounded, find balance, and keep going. Because building a business shouldn’t mean losing yourself in the process.
Light Up Your Business
Faith and Resilience in Pursuing Creative Dreams with Adam Cross
Imagine leaving a stable job to chase your artistic dreams, only to face unexpected hurdles and emotional struggles. That's exactly what Adam Cross did, and in this episode of Light Up Your Business podcast, he shares his heartfelt journey. From selling artwork to taking on painting and handyman jobs to make ends meet, Adam's story is a testament to patience and resilience. Join us as we dive deep into the intricacies of balancing family responsibilities with the pursuit of personal dreams and the parallels between parenthood and leadership.
What does it mean to live intentionally and seek fulfillment? Adam reflects on his experiences, offering insights into how past challenges shape our present outlook. We discuss the importance of balancing ambition with contentment, and the power of being purposeful in our actions and relationships. Hear how Adam navigates creative self-doubt, reframes negative self-talk, and finds his identity through intrinsic values and faith. This conversation is a valuable guide for anyone striving for success while maintaining their core values and authenticity.
Faith, resilience, and authenticity stand at the forefront as we explore themes of surrender and maintaining integrity in business. Adam's journey underscores the significance of sticking to core values, even when faced with external pressures. We delve into how faith and actionable steps can lead to profound success and fulfillment, far beyond financial gains. With personal anecdotes and powerful lessons, this episode serves as a beacon of inspiration for aspiring entrepreneurs, creatives, and anyone seeking to align their life's work with their true purpose.
To learn more about Adam go to: https://adamantart.com/
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Visit FaithFilledCoach.com to schedule your free 30-minute consultation. Let's make your business dreams a reality, together.
Welcome to the Light Up your Business podcast, the show where we dive deep into the world of small businesses. I'm your host, tammy Hershberger, and each episode will bring you inspiring stories, expert insights and practical tips to help your small business thrive. Whether you're an entrepreneur just starting out or a seasoned business owner, this podcast is your go-to source for success in the small business world. Let's get started to source for success in the small business world. Let's get started. Hi everyone, I want to welcome you back to another episode of Light Up your Business podcast. Today I want to have kind of a different take on this. So I have Adam Cross. He was on hell. It's been probably a few months ago now, maybe even longer, I don't know. Towards the beginning he came on. So welcome Adam.
Adam Cross:Thanks, thanks for having me.
Tammy Hershberger:So I brought him back because he was on, he was starting his business and I do coach him and, just like life and even my own experience, sometimes things go a little awry, sometimes fear and things get in the way of the business starting. So Adam is very kind enough to come on and open up his experience with you all, and the point of this is not the negative side. I want listeners to hear that sometimes in life things don't go as planned. Sometimes we think we got it and we don't. I've got tons of stories I can tell you on my own side of that, and so we're going to just kind of dig into this and we're going to go where the Lord leads us today. Are you ready, adam? I am yeah.
Adam Cross:Okay, so my first question for you is can you tell me what initially motivated you to start your own business Initially? I think financial freedom was probably the biggest thing. And then, you know, I've got two kids and a wife, so the idea of structuring my own schedule was huge. But mostly, probably what motivates a lot of people is money and not being tied down to income or salary, which is great, but initially it's not really there yet. So you've got to kind of structure your lifestyle around that, which has been challenging. But you know, the first few months have been, you know, we're pretty much breaking even, but the freedom of the schedule makes it pretty well worth it. Yeah, makes it pretty well worth it. Yeah, so there's not like at least in my experience there's not like a, you know, just get a surge of money coming in right away, so which I don't think I was expecting that, but you know it's still reality kicks in pretty quickly.
Tammy Hershberger:Yeah.
Adam Cross:Where you're at.
Tammy Hershberger:So, if I remember, uh, when you you left my company to go start your business. Now you did start a business. It's just not quite the direction or the vision you have for it, right?
Adam Cross:Right.
Tammy Hershberger:Can you explain that what I'm talking about a little bit to everybody?
Adam Cross:Yeah, so I um have a formal education in art, so, in illustration specifically, um, the idea was to um get out there and sell art, which, if you're an artist is, um, at least by all accounts I've heard it's not, uh, that straightforward to just go ahead and get out there and put your stuff in a gallery or to attend big art festivals. There's a strategy to getting known in that world and then there's some financial burden to even start into that. So that is still the trajectory of where I want to be. But, uh, yeah, proved to be uh, a lot more time than I anticipated before, um, to get to, even to get to one step in that in that place, um, like I said, having a family at home, um, you gotta, you gotta use your patience, I guess, when you're pursuing something like that.
Adam Cross:So a lot of just regular handyman paint, regular painting, you know, commercial painting jobs came my way and for whatever reason, I have no idea why, but I took, you know, I took them anyway, just to hopefully start stacking some ends to get to that next level where I can hopefully go to an arts fest, get a booth, start producing original work instead of commission work. So there's a pretty big difference between the two of those. And then my next goal is to have a few pieces in a gallery. I feel like that's a good starting point for that, but I will take what jobs come in the meantime in order to invest into that. And it's not a ton of money, but to me it is. Yeah, I think a lot of people are like's you know, small stuff, no big deal. For people, in different circumstances, it can feel like a lot so I want to dig into that a little bit.
Tammy Hershberger:So we're talking about we original plan was the first day you left was I'm gonna sell art right, which I understand. I'm not an artist, that's not my business. It is a weird world to tap into and I think you just have to start and kind of just get your stuff out there to be found Right. So then from there, what emotionally kind of happened to you?
Adam Cross:Um, I had never. And I'm I'm 30, almost 38. I've never not had a job. I've always had a job. I've been a good employee. I always show up, I always. You know I'm good at holding down jobs and I think I found comfort in that structure.
Tammy Hershberger:Well, that's what you knew.
Adam Cross:Right when, scheduling yourself, all the moving pieces to getting a business started plus having children, a new baby girl and my son's eight. And you yeah, I mean it was not easy to not have that structure all of a sudden to all of a sudden be accountable and responsible for every step you make while people are in the background, kind of counting on you. I wouldn't say I wasn't aware that that would happen, but I would say it was quite a bit more challenging, to be honest, than I anticipated.
Tammy Hershberger:I don't think anyone really can be fully prepared for that until you experience it. I read a thing recently that it was talking about grief and you know, bursts of children dying, parents, bankruptcy, whatever. Until you've experienced that, you don't really know. We can talk all day like, oh, it's probably like this, probably until you've gone through it and everybody's different, so that's different for everyone. So I think even in coaching I I tried my best to prepare you.
Adam Cross:But I don't think I could because there's that's something that's personal to you and your own situation, your own struggles, right yeah, and I think that was a big factor in leading up to making that decision, because I think it's easier to stay in a comfort zone and I think it's easy to talk yourself out of jumping making that leap because it probably won't go well. You know, it's like you're looking at it from a lens of inexperience you know you're, you're not sure.
Adam Cross:So it's like you almost really do have to go into, you know, into huck mode and just throw yourself off because, uh, you're at least me speaking personally, I think I would never do it yeah. I would make excuses, I would build up roadblocks for myself. Um, in order to maintain what is known, which is a, and I got to be here at this time, no later, and I leave at this time. There's structure. There's a lot of cool things. I met you guys, you know yeah.
Adam Cross:I mean it's a better overall experience. If you're just looking for low stress, you know a paycheck, you paycheck, basically to cover yourself. It's like, yeah, that's the easiest option. I mean in all the jobs I've had over the years. That just is all that made sense to me. So getting to that precipice and actually jumping it was much, much harder than maintaining the status quo of just clocking in, clock out. But I also think there's no reward without risk.
Tammy Hershberger:I'm really curious because I I mean, I know we're going to get into some of this struggle today, but from where you were of like the fear of if I jump and it doesn't work, you know cause we, we went over, we had a lot of conversations about that what gave you the courage at that moment to give your notice and try? I mean, I know we're not exactly in line of the target we're shooting for, we're gonna get there, but what made you do that?
Adam Cross:yeah, definitely, I think, waiting out, which was scarier, you know I, like I said I'm I'm getting, I'm getting close to 40 man, so it's like you can maintain this. You know you can keep a job, you know you can, you know, kind of make ends meet, which now is more like struggling for most families, I know yeah. Yeah, it's not really. You're not covered the way a regular income would cover you.
Tammy Hershberger:It gets tight, you know, and you're on a glass ceiling when you work for someone else, sadly Right right. Until you can move up again, and then that has its own struggles. But yeah, I mean obviously starting a business. You have a glass ceiling of like I got to go sell or I make nothing.
Adam Cross:Right, like I got to go sell or I make nothing Right, but the really it's up to you what you do and how far you push it. Okay, I think in talking to you that, as scary as that is, it is less scary to me than um trudging through life at 50, 60, 70 years old and looking back and knowing you didn't even try. Yeah. I mean that's terrifying. Terrifying like you didn't. You had all these dreams and visions and you didn't try. You know that's yeah. To me that was like a non-option.
Tammy Hershberger:So so it's kind of pick your poison, do I stay and do the same drudgery? Not that you hated your job, but like it's literally not going to change because I can only move you so far in this company at this moment. Right right or you can go for it and take the same fear of, like I'm, the fear of stuck and I'm never going to change my life, or a fear of there's going to be some financial risk here and a potential like I'm going to have to spend some time away from the family. Yeah.
Tammy Hershberger:But then what does that open up for me door wise.
Adam Cross:Right and being dependent. I mean I'm a pretty independent person, so like I didn't even notice that there was a dependency on my work structure. I mean, anywhere you work, you're kind of dependent on your boss and their boss and you know the CEO and everybody to maintain the business regardless of what you do. Which, as soon as I left and was like, okay, this is what it feels like, the first thing that came to mind was like responsibility, an overwhelming sense of like if anything goes wrong, it's on you. You got to fix it now like it's not. You can't pass the buck on to the other office worker or whatever not that I would, but you know, I mean there's a real weight of responsibility immediately that sinks in.
Tammy Hershberger:And that gets heavier as you get employees, because all you guys are now my responsibility as the leader of the company.
Adam Cross:Right right, that's been my hesitancy. Even thinking about employees, it's like gosh, it'd be cool, it'd be really nice, but I'm not there, I'm not even close to there yet yeah, I can imagine that intensifies everything it does.
Tammy Hershberger:I think it also puts a fire under your butt and I imagine that's probably as a dad. It's true for you because, again, I don't have children. I'm, I can't even see. Maybe a mom's the same. I have no idea. Moms are fierce, so probably I don't have that because I know I'm not going to let anybody down at home. My husband's going to make it, he's going to be fine, but I would imagine it's similar to children because you have to provide for them.
Adam Cross:Right.
Tammy Hershberger:Unless you're a horrible father. I mean that's.
Adam Cross:Yeah, no, you absolutely are. You can't look at them day to day without understanding that it is your 100 percent your job to take you and your spouse, or just to take care of them and make sure that they're safe and fed and protected. You know, I mean that, that it definitely is similar. I would say there's more weight to being a father versus a boss, but I can totally see how they would translate yeah, the weight is what that.
Tammy Hershberger:You're going to screw them up. Is that? What is that what it looks like for you as a dad? Or what is the weight? I mean, I can imagine what it is, but what is it for you? What does that look like?
Adam Cross:um, this hasn't ever happened, but just that they won't be provided for. Um or something falls through and then all of a sudden we've got to, you know, navigate some really difficult waters, like I mean, yeah, like it or hate it, you know you gotta bring the bacon home. So the idea of not having that or not being able to do that is what keeps you kind of motivated and showing up on time and making sure you're maintaining um good customer service. And, you know, hopefully you do that with something that you love too, so that you know, and eventually I think I will get there.
Tammy Hershberger:It's just uh oh, if you stay with me as your coach, we're gonna freaking get there like I am gonna celebrate some wins with you.
Tammy Hershberger:We're gonna get it, um, but on the one thing, and then we'll move on from that with the kid thing. So obviously kids have a massive weight because you can screw them up for life. I mean my, my workers. They're gonna quit before I really mess them up for life, right. But at the same time it's similar but it's different. So your kids can't feed themselves sometimes when they're really little, right, they can't go make money for themselves. So there's a different responsibility on those kids. Where your workers, there's a responsibility to treat them right, make sure they're taken care of. They're improving and growing in their position. So it's different. So I want to remind you that when you do get to that stage in life, you've got it.
Adam Cross:You've raised children. That's way harder, right right, managing adults is not that hard. You just got to lead them and do it with love and care, you know? Yeah, I can see that translating a lot specifically in the realm of like holding and maintaining values. Yes, when you see your kids like this is a crazy world. I mean they're being. You know, they're being given ideas every day and you've got to kind of coach them into these are our family values, you know, and similar with a. I can see that with a company like hey, look, you're not maintaining the values.
Tammy Hershberger:I want to represent this company yeah, um, I mean, if you're challenging as a boss leading the company, treating customers, customer services, in the toilet because you don't show up. You'd lie to your customers and your employees see that. How is that going to make them want to 100? I'll go out of my way to make sure this job's done. I'll go out of my way to make sure this product is 100 right, because you're showing them how to run your company, basically. And right I think you should lead by example.
Adam Cross:Same thing with your kids yeah so, and there's no manual they don't give you a book, so I should create.
Tammy Hershberger:No, we could sell that out. Yeah, I have to go back to your 40 comment because I had someone that used to tell me 40 is not that old. It's not old, but in the realm of things. I literally was just talking to cal about this this morning. So if you live to be 80, I mean that's, some people go longer. My family typically doesn't live that long. So if we hit 80, great, that means I'm 41. I have what? 39 years left? That's that math.
Tammy Hershberger:Hopefully it's right. But if you look at that so I was reading a thing the other day it says okay, so this thing was signed with birth to 80, which at one, two, three, your summers you're. You're in your mom's arms, you're not doing anything, so the first five years are wasted. But if you do that you have 80 summers, right? So I'm thinking now I have 39 summers left. If I live to 80, that's it, my summers are done.
Tammy Hershberger:After that, like, for me that just brings so much perspective because I'm like I don't like to be negative and like, oh, life sucks, I only have 39 summers. But for me that puts a in me of like I want to be intentional about what I'm doing going forward. I don't want to waste my time on stupid stuff anymore. I can't just be straight business-like because that's not all fulfillment for me. I mean, I've done really well and I have things I want to do. But for me I want to be intentional with my time, intentional with where I'm going, who I'm helping, you know where I put the effort of my life in, because in 39 more summers I might not be here anymore, right? Does that move you? Because it moves me.
Adam Cross:Yeah, absolutely. I think you start to think that way when you get you know, into your late 30s, early 40s, I think. It's like, I guess, depending on your experiences, like my experiences leading up to, let's say, 20 were pretty grim you know they were survival, basically they weren't.
Adam Cross:I wasn't, yeah, I wasn't thriving well by like 18 I think I got, or 17, I moved out and was like a lot more into the thriving kind of thing. Um, or at least for me it was definitely thriving. I felt very free and ready to attack the world and, as most probably 18, 20 year olds feel, but I think, as you, my experiences beyond that, like mid twenties to now we're family oriented. Family oriented I mean getting married, having kids, um, so I think you arrive at a certain point sometime in that time frame of going how much is left? Like what, what have I?
Adam Cross:You look back and it's hard for me to not see just like a trail of disaster, like what was going on there, because my intentions for life were different. I wasn't really living to be successful, I was more like this is pretty good, I'll take it. You know, this is like this doesn't suck, kind of. So it's really easy to fall into that complacency too, like if we're scraping by and we got enough, you know, to go out here and there and if that's good enough, then it's good enough.
Adam Cross:And so you kind of settle, settle, yeah, yeah where, I think, in your 30s, you start going well, this isn't going to work forever, I don't want to just settle all my life, you know. So that gives you a new drive. Also, looking at like yeah, we're kind of at the mid part of the race here, what does the rest of it look like? And then why? Why would we want to just kind of grasp anything we can get and just survive, when we could probably do a little bit, at least a little bit more, you know so yeah, I think for me.
Tammy Hershberger:I mean, we have similar stories. Yours was rougher than mine, but mine was still not amazing. But at the end of the day, in your 20s I had so much energy and I didn't have the vision I have now because I grew up so poor. I was like you. Just you get a job and you work the rest of your life and you hope you can buy a car and maybe I don't even think I ever dreamt of a home until I was much older.
Adam Cross:Likewise.
Tammy Hershberger:But I was like I just want an apartment or something I can live in, that's not on the street and it's whatever. And so then I spun my wheels for so long living that life, and then I got this drive to push harder because I was like these people are doing it, like I remember being a little kid, trick-or-treating and I would look at these. We'd go to the pill hill in minnesota it's where the doctors live by male clinic and so we monster homes and we'd get the big you know huge amounts of candy because they have tons of money. But I remember I wasn't there for the candy. I would look in the door and I'd be like what does it look like to live here? What does these kids live like? What's the life they have?
Tammy Hershberger:yeah and I'd take my stack of candy and go home to my little trailer and that's where we live, right?
Tammy Hershberger:yeah and it was not a whole. I'm not complaining about my past. We had a good childhood as best we could and we did the best to make it fun. But then I started to like notice as I got older I was always shooting for more, and not so much stuff, but just like always bigger business, you know, got to try another place, got to get more of this, got to push harder there, and then I started realizing I'm not in contentment at all. I have no peace because I'm always pushing for harder, more, faster.
Tammy Hershberger:And then I started realizing I identify with my work. So I am who I am because I work hard and I work harder than anyone else. I'm not saying like labor laying bricks, I don't do that, but I'm talking mentally time I put so much time in this stuff. Then I started to realize, as I'm in my forties now, like I can't keep doing that that is not bringing me peace or contentment. Then I start looking back and I'm like I spent so much of my life working with time right and energy and mental stress and all those things and I think, yeah, I learned a lot. But there's some things I'd like to take back. There's some like four years of my life I would like back, because I wasted it in something I wasn't supposed to be in.
Adam Cross:Yeah, do you ever have that experience? Yeah, I think I mean, drive can be a real double-edged sword. I was a competitive snowboarder and I grew up snowboarding and really got to the point where I thought that was it. I'm like this is what I love. I mean I'm gonna pursue it. I still do snowboarding which is crazy. But at a certain point I realized you're gonna drop the competitive side or you're going to quit. There's two options for you, because it became not fun.
Adam Cross:That's what it is the drive became like a kind of a toxic chemical in my body, where I was like this is not like uh, uh it it took the best parts out of the activity. For me it was like, yeah, it became just mundane to go up and just try to work on stuff. It was really more work. So I don't have that drive in business, but I can imagine it being the same kind of like yeah, double-edged sword. I mean, it works really well for you and you can find success.
Tammy Hershberger:But if, if there's something wrong in the mix, I think it can start to just be like a chain around your neck, you know yeah it's like kind of dragging you down it's the internal which a lot of people, especially men, don't like to talk about and it's still kind of. I see it in business owners I talk to and when we get off the air and we start talking separately, the truth and not that they're lying here, but they're so burned out or they're so stressed out or they're not loving it and they don't know what to do. And the society says that you have to be everything to everyone and you have to hold it all together and you have to show you have to be everything to everyone and you have to hold it all together and you have to show you like everything's perfect and that's why I bring like guys like you and myself.
Tammy Hershberger:I try to be an open book, because it's not. That's not how it is. I mean, like on the outside things look great, but inside I'm dying. You know I'm doing so much better now, but a couple years ago I was dying inside like I had nothing left and it took what you said. It took the fun out of it for me right. Right, I just was like freaking A. I have to go and do this again today. I don't know how I'm going to do it.
Adam Cross:You know what I mean. Everything in life becomes an obligation all of a sudden. And you're like well, why am I obligated to do this Like, especially if it's something that you once were passionate about?
Adam Cross:It's like now this feels just draining to do the thing I'm supposedly in love with. Do the thing I'm supposedly in love with. And yeah, um, while the drive was really high during that time where I was wanting to improve and my site, my sites, were focused on that, it became like, yeah, I mean, I traded that getting better and doing the bigger thing, riding the biggest mountain.
Adam Cross:I traded that for watching my boy learn how to snowboard when he was like two years old. Before he could even walk, he was on a board and that'll teach you patience. I'm sure.
Adam Cross:All the way through. I mean, even still. It's like I still to this day and this is probably 15 years later, maybe 10, 10 to 15 years later I still have to remind myself, especially when it's cold, it's snowing, it kind of it's not always fun, and it's definitely not fun for a little one. But you look at him and you go am I in this to just be good at this thing, or are we up here to have fun?
Adam Cross:You know, because it doesn't always. Or are we up here to have fun? You know because it doesn't always.
Adam Cross:It's not always fun, especially for a little one. Yeah, so there are some lessons in that in terms of like, where to set your aim, to maintain some drive, but also the drive has to have the right motivation, and I still don't have that figured out, to be fully honest. I don't know for sure, but I know that seems to be a good illustration of like. Okay, this is the picture of like, how it's supposed to go, and you should, you know, in in my mind. I'm like you should be patient with him. He's just little. We're not here to be pro, you know. We're not here to be amateur. We're not here as a competition. We're here to have fun, you know. Yeah.
Adam Cross:So it's a constant. Kids are a constant reminder of that of like you're taking it too serious, You're taking yourself too serious. Like, pull back on the drive a little bit to be great or whatever and soak in the moment and be I won't even say content, but be okay with where you're at right now is a major thing for me, and especially right now in life. Literally right now in life is like that's been a good way for me to set back and go. Am I, is my drive, motivated by the right reason as to why so?
Tammy Hershberger:so why? So there's a book. What's your why? I think it's Simon Sinek. I want to say, uh, I'm curious for you. So, to kind of bring this back into the business aspect, why do you want? I mean, we talked about the freedom and all that stuff, but what is the real wife? I feel like that's I don't mean to be rude, but it's kind of a generic answer we all have because literally we all want that. But there is something in your heart that, like I want to prove something, I want to do it for my kids. Well, that's bullcrap, because I've heard people say that and they can't get out of bed and get to work.
Adam Cross:I'm like that's not true by the time you get it done for your kids, they're already going to be old enough to do it for themselves yeah, and they probably don't want it right, because you've either dragged them in and forced them to work there or they have no interest in it right, I mean the financial stuff. Yes, of course, that's yeah, a huge motivator for anybody and yeah, it is pretty generic.
Adam Cross:I would say there's also a matter of purpose thank you, yes behind what should be going on in, in your motivation um which to me is, you know, eventually helping out youth you know, as a misled youth myself, I'm like you know it's really apparent when you see it in the real world Like this you know bad family dynamics, whatever may be going on, bad grades, yeah, whatever it may be.
Adam Cross:Stepping into a role where I could be eventually be there for someone else would be like my main motivation, and not just youth even you know adults or whoever my main motivation, and not not just youth, even you know adults or whoever. But that takes a lot more careful consideration, I think, and obviously a ton of financial resources. So that's down the road, but I mean to have that in the back of my mind and go. You're doing the art thing right now to really hopefully inspire somebody later on. Um, and even just be there for somebody one time may change their life. You know, yeah, and even if it's one out of 20, one out of 100 people, or you know youth that have hard lives and I call that success yes, I agree with you.
Tammy Hershberger:Yeah, I think on the art side because I'm not an artist, I will say I you probably saw my post on Facebook about that, because in my therapy they're really making, or she is really making me focus on like draw, like I did do finger painting, which sounds so insane, and I did that for a few times. She moved me up to a brush and I was like, whoa, this is a little bit better, it looks less ridiculous. But between that and then, with my journaling and some other things I'm doing, I'm finding which you have to speak to this because I'm guaranteed it's going to make sense to you. For me there's a freeness, like a freeing of my heart, my mind. I feel less like I'm in a prison and I'm talking about myself mentally. Being creative is so weird. I mean.
Tammy Hershberger:I say that because I don't understand it and I've always said I'm not creative, I'm not creative, I'm not going to waste time on it. Yeah.
Tammy Hershberger:But once I started the block kind of moved. If you will, and like I see things in my business, my life, my personal life Inside my heart feels free again. The other day I was spinning in my chair talking to Cal and how excited I am like and it seems stupid, but I'm like for me I'm a very serious person yeah and I feel freer. Can you explain that as an artist? Do you feel that? Or is it just me and I'm crazy?
Adam Cross:no, I think, sure, absolutely. Um and most artists that I know would would say the same thing there is a free. I think the freedom may come from like an intrinsic, intrinsic value to us, that, um, we're kind of meant to be created, we're meant to be creative, we're meant to create things. That's like, if we were looking at, you know, the human species as a whole, uh, the one thing we could say that people do is make stuff god created the world.
Tammy Hershberger:He created us. Us so in his image.
Adam Cross:So, I think there's something inside of us that needs to. Like my, my art journey was I was kind of a street kid, so you took opportunities. You didn't sell art, it was just like you just made it. Um, because to me and maybe this is just a spectrum thing, where some people fall into it a lot easier and some people have a really hard time breaking through that creative kind of wall that we have, and I've dealt with that a ton in the last three years getting out of college, moving here.
Tammy Hershberger:Just the romance in it died for me do you think that's due to pressure.
Adam Cross:I think it's pressure. I think, because for four years, over four years, it was like create this project, make this project and make it exactly this way, using this tool or this medium, and that does stretch your mind in terms of how you're going to approach a piece of art. But it is a killer when it comes to just having fun. It's a total game changer when it's like I'm supposed to be doing this. It goes back to what we were saying earlier about having the right motivation behind why you're doing it, because if you're just doing it for a grade, which in college you are, it really pulls all of the love and romance out of the whole act itself.
Tammy Hershberger:Well, it takes the creativity away, because you're like a commission piece, you're kind of stuck in a box again right, Because you've got to do it my way not your way as the creator.
Adam Cross:And that's another part of exactly that's another part of college art school is you're consistently critiquing your work and others' work. I mean, you get the thing done. You might feel good or bad about it, but you know that day you're taking it in to turn in, you're going to present it. So it's a presentation and it's an open opportunity for anybody to come say I didn't like the way you did this, you know, or whatever. Maybe your values are too light or your line weight is off, or and you hear that over and over again and you're like well, I kind of liked it, you know and that's really hard because maybe someone else doesn't and you have to be okay with that that someone else is like this thing sucks. I wouldn't want to hang this in my bathroom.
Adam Cross:You're like oh, that hurts, but you really get a good feel for what is visually appealing to people and where they might be at in life and in college. I'm obviously 10 to 15 years older than all the other students, so it's a, it's a way to do you think you had a deeper perspective then than they had?
Tammy Hershberger:oh yeah because I think in life, even at our age now, wisdom changes stuff so much. I see things so different than I did when I was in my 20s. It was so black and white to me at 20 yeah now I'm like there's so much depth to everything.
Adam Cross:Yeah, absolutely. I think that's one thing is you start to see the complexities of life and like, um, where even just observing not criticizing anybody you can see, oh, you did not have like horrible experiences yet. Yeah, hopefully you don't, yeah, but you really can see that in somebody that's young and really wants to go after it and they may or may not be great at drawing, but they'll find something that they're good at and um, but you can see in their eyes, like you didn't. We've experienced life in a very, very different way, which I wouldn't take back for myself and it's fun to see. You know, I get along with those people too. It's just like in talking and in in creating together. You really really get to realize like, oh, you're, you're not not only the same age as me, but our experiences leading up to this point are so vastly different. And, yeah, it's cool, but in terms of like creative blocks and stuff, I would say I don't know of any artists that doesn't struggle with that too.
Tammy Hershberger:I mean they say writers have writer's block. I think in business it happens. I mean, when I went through that disaster with my other business for like six, seven, eight months, I just was like I don't know how I'm ever gonna own a business. I mean I had to keep going because I had a business right I didn't.
Tammy Hershberger:I couldn't even envision. Actually, I think I told you about that once. I had a vision board. I redo it every year and update and there's some things I take off and add and whatever. And I remember my vision board was so plain. I had words like peace and contentment and like things like that. I could not vision. I was so broken, like, and that's the block. I had been so beat up that I was like there's nothing I can even envision. I need more than just to be okay. And so that was my block, but I eventually got through it right so how did you get through?
Tammy Hershberger:because you're telling me which I can. I can imagine I get what they're trying to do. They're trying to teach you, but it's got to be hard on your ego and your confidence having all these people tear apart your art, because even my finger painting I'm like I don't want to show her because she's going to make fun of it and that's just not even I can. I cannot relate to you on how you're fearful of showing your art because it is so personal, even if it's a crappy ass finger painting right right so can you explain me how do you, how do you get through that and how did you move past it?
Tammy Hershberger:or do you still need to move past what you?
Adam Cross:um, I'd say it's excuse me, it's a 100%, a work in progress. Um, I'd say I've at school was really I mean, I don't know if this makes any sense, but when you're in like a dark state, like what you see in the mirror, like how you act in response to the, to whatever that feeling is, is kind of a good. I guess it's a good uh gauge of like where you really are, where you're really at. So I think you almost have to go through some of that more challenging stuff. Maybe it is being critiqued by somebody in class that you're you're not so thrilled about, but at the same time I think there's an acceptance that comes through. That's like I know I'm good enough and I'm going to present this and if it's not good enough for you, I'm cool with that.
Adam Cross:That's a really tough place to end up, but I don't think you get there without those harder times, without those block times where you're like I'm no good, this stuff is not the right type of whatever you might kind of say about what you're making, whatever creation you're creating. What you're making, whatever creation you're creating, um, I, I just think it's. It's it's easier to hear people out if you're, if you have that acceptance in mind that that you may not be for you yeah.
Adam Cross:I'm cool with that. Like we have, like I said, some of the stuff that was drawn in school. I was like this is cool, I guess, like I wouldn't want it necessarily, but, um, but you obviously have. You're obviously showcasing a different series of experiences that you've had and there's something beautiful about that, no matter what it is.
Tammy Hershberger:Who was the guy and you are. Your memory is better than mine, but remember those things I sent you on facebook the circle that like scribble drawings, and circle I don't know how you're doing.
Adam Cross:Do you remember that guy's name? I don't, I wouldn't want. He was selling them for millions of dollars.
Tammy Hershberger:Right, I was like this thing looks like a little kid took a crayon, or I mean a marker or whatever, and just circles and I was like but so I'm relating this to what you're saying, so to me I was like I wouldn't pay five cents for that because to me it's crazy, but to someone and lots of people are buying, I mean not lots, but people are spending millions of dollars.
Tammy Hershberger:That's valuable to them and that's the thing in life and in business. You don't know who God's got for your. Your art like I may not like it. The good news isn't, you know, maybe in an art show they'd be like. I can't imagine people come up to you and say I think your art sucks. I just don't think at our age people would say that I would just keep going Be like I don't like it. I might make fun of it with my husband later, right, but I'm not going to see your face Be like that thing sucks. Same thing with the product I sell. You don't like my sheds. You're going to miles, do you think? As far as I mean, does that speak to you?
Tammy Hershberger:on that like, because I know you're so hard on yourself as an artist and I think yourself's amazing because I can't draw for crap. But how do you like getting you back to the art business that you're going to eventually have here, not just painting? How are we going to get you pushed past that? What do you see for that?
Adam Cross:um, I think that takes a pretty difficult step in that direction, to be honest, but I think if I can continue working on mental health you know that's been a key thing and I've noticed it translate directly into whether my, whether I can make my hands work to make it or not um, basically, how I feel about myself.
Adam Cross:And it's so difficult these days for, especially because I've like tricked my um Instagram algorithm to like just feed me so much creative stuff, and it's really a good tool because I can either look at that stuff and go, man, they're way better than you unusually they are. But I can also look at that and go, that's inspiring. They're using like similar things I would, they may, they may even have like a similar style to me. And seeing them do it and not saying, oh, they're using like similar things I would, they may, they may even have like a similar style to me. And seeing them do it and not saying, oh, they're better, that this is way more accurate than you would have done it, or just to allow them to be really good, and then kind of shoot, for that is, I think, critical for me at this stage yeah and then, like we've talked about before, I think selling, like actually selling something, would be major motivation, like just to see someone actually enjoy it is kind of the key thing.
Adam Cross:I know, and you have some things that I'm painting for you like, look at me like I'm a fungus. I'm like I'm enjoying.
Tammy Hershberger:Everybody comes in. I'm like, do you see this beautiful painting? I show everybody. I can find that like wants to talk to me, but that's, that's like a check in your head, you gotta get through same thing with, instead of being competitive, and that looks, you know, different, obviously, than just like it's a piece of shit. Mine's better, but competitive in the fact that like he's so much better than me if you can flip that script in your head of like, but he inspires me.
Tammy Hershberger:Look, this guy can do it if I keep trying. Or, you know, maybe I'm just as good, but in a different type of art or whatever right, and my program, my brain programming, for whatever reason.
Adam Cross:I'm, like I said, working on figuring what that is out, but it's just like. This isn't good and you don't like it and neither will anybody else is like initially, what happens as soon as I'm even midway through a project, I'm like this isn't great.
Tammy Hershberger:So we are going to really focus on that, coaching the negative self-talk. Like we got to flip those. When you, the self-talk comes. Same thing for me, like I'm a female, I look and I'm like I'm frigging fat and then I'm like but I'm not gonna keep saying that, I've got to confess different, like I don't know what the opposite is. I look good or whatever, but it seems a little crazy because I'm like, well, that's dumb, I don't believe that. But if you keep telling yourself the same thing it's the same thing in abusive relationships men will start to tell you how worthless you are and and it's happened to me I mean I heard I didn't do enough. I was pretty much worthless and as strong as I am and as much as I've done in some crazy world, I started to believe that and then it just tore me apart because this is a person I care about telling me that right yeah
Adam Cross:so you have to remember what you're telling yourself yeah, and it gives some really dumb excuses to me to be honest I can't speak for any everybody, but uh, in my experience, it's like all this is doing is making, is allowing you to make excuses to keep you from growing exactly and it's like why do I keep telling myself that then?
Adam Cross:and why are the yeah, why are the lies? So I guess easy to kind of get behind and go. Well, I guess I do. I guess I'm not worth anything and I'll just keep making this garbage stuff because I have to. And that's why I think seeing somebody like maybe somebody I don't know, go, hey, that's pretty cool.
Tammy Hershberger:I want that.
Adam Cross:But you'll never get to that if you don't get the stuff produced and get it out there for people to find and that's the challenging part is like you won't you, if you continue to feed yourself negative just like an algorithm, if you continue to like, let the negativity kind of weigh over you. I realized that in the last few months too. Being out on my own like it's often pretty quiet while I'm painting, obviously it's just me, maybe a podcast or something, and it's yeah, it makes you think a lot and it's one of those things that I think I'm starting to see the other side of the wall. I'm like I just got to figure out how to break through this thing, um, and be bold and like here's what I got. You know, here's my stuff. And if you don't like it, great.
Tammy Hershberger:If you do, awesome that's the reality you have to get to in your head is not everybody's gonna love it right just like as you as a man or a friend. Not everybody's gonna like you. Not everybody likes me. Some people think I'm too too harsh and I'm too pushy and whatever, I don't believe you. It's true, it's hard to believe, I know, but it's the reality of like I'm going to be. The true, authentic me got the person god made me to be. And if you don't like that, then you're not.
Adam Cross:You're not my cup of tea and there's someone else for you that's a great point is identifying yourself as, not as the world or your parents or the person that doesn't like you sees you, but like identifying yourself with god, with something transcendent with god.
Tammy Hershberger:It's like beyond all of that stuff yeah who you really are is who god says you are and we're at an age now where we should be able to start exploring that, because in your 20s you're just trying to be mr cool get the chicks, whatever, right, and at my age I kind of I have some problems with some people and I'm just like it's actually I was laying in bed there and I think about, and I almost started laughing because I was like it is so insane to me that we're at this age at this place.
Tammy Hershberger:I have no interest in pushing and babying anyone and I have no interest in trying to get you to understand who I am as your friend, because Cause if you don't get it, you're never going to get it, and there's so many good people in my life that God has brought. I'm meeting people all the time on this podcast, through my coaching, and I'm going to focus my energy on that because if I get rid of the old yucky stuff, I now have room for the new things and I think, with us and our past stuff, if you think about, like the way you were raised and the things you went through that shaped you right into believing the man that you think you were, you're not that person. You were unfortunately put in situations and things happened that told you you weren't a good man or you're not a good kid, or whatever, and you've took on that identity. But it's not your true identity.
Tammy Hershberger:And then you got to get in the word of God. And what does God say about you? Who are you in God's eyes?
Adam Cross:Yeah, so Are you in God's eyes? Yeah, so I was raised LDS and that is very much a workspace system and super easy to believe what these men around you say that you are, because they're the ones with all the authority. So when you're coming up that way, it becomes super confusing because your identity is based around that. It's fed to you, literally fed to you in you know, verbally from a very young age.
Adam Cross:So you, you know you kind of. It strikes me as weird that I'm still trying to find my identity after all, because I left at age 17. I didn't serve a mission, which is a pretty critical thing. It's not like an end-all be-all. But through making that decision and prayer and really deep thought and consideration, I was like this is the whole thing, it's got to go, the whole structure. I had to tear it down and start from scratch, and that's when, you know, the Lord found me and rescued me a little bit. But I wouldn't have, I would never have known that.
Adam Cross:These were all, to be honest, lies that were told about who I am, the my personal character and was. I was never a good Mormon, so it was always negative. It was always like oh, adam's in trouble, like this is happening again or whatever was happening. So I just assumed like okay, I guess I'm destined for jail, like I guess, I guess I'm like never going to make it. You know, and although I moved past that, I had no idea, like it was just this like kind of a hidden feature that just kind of reared its ugly head whenever like success was in sight or something good was going to happen, I was like oh, but wait, you got to remember like you're no good.
Tammy Hershberger:You don't deserve that.
Adam Cross:Yeah, you got to remember. Like you're no good, you don't deserve that. Yeah, you're still no good man Like you can't be taken like any credit, or yeah, it's a bizarre thing to be, like, confronted with you know, 20 years post, but here we are. I mean it speaks to the fragility of, like, a child's mind. You can't, uh, I guess, put these unreasonable expectations on kids and and really force feed them ideas and not end up with some pretty severe consequences in terms of their psychology, like later on in life. You know it does end up tracking you down, it does. You know you can't avoid it. I tried, for I probably had a good over a decade of just like, yeah, but that's all stuff I'm not going to focus on.
Tammy Hershberger:We think we can outrun it, and if I don't think about it, it's going to not be. It doesn't exist. Right.
Adam Cross:But it creeps in your life and every in your relationships in your businesss in your life and every in your relationships and your business and your friendships and your own love for yourself right, and it can be disguised as humility too, is a pretty decent point, because people go, oh, I'm like so humble, I'm just like a piece of garbage. You're like, well, hold on, there's got to be a separation there, like I'm all for humility. But I think that's how a lot of times in my experience it crept in, was like, oh, don't be like cocky and think that you got anything you know. And then the lies would continue beyond that and was like, yeah, all the way to the point where you're like pretty defeated man, like I guess I don't do stuff right or whatever you know and even if you start to do well or God brings you an opportunity, you are basically kicking the crap out of yourself right.
Tammy Hershberger:You get jumped by yourself. You're like here's this great thing, and you have a moment of like this could be really great. And then you beat the crap out of yourself and now it's like well, I can't do that.
Adam Cross:Which I found out recently, is a symptom of growing up in a violent household. Yeah, it's your reaction, you kind of pull back and it's got to be violent or else it doesn't mean anything and it's like, well, it's no, that's not correct. You know, yeah, even knowing that and going, okay, that's we know that's not correct. It's a, it's a battle. Beyond that, you have to I mean, in my experience, I have to consistently remind myself that, like, I'm okay Basically, we're going to get through it. Um, you know.
Tammy Hershberger:Well, so my therapist talks about little Tammy and I got a parent little Tammy right. Cause. I don't even know how to explain that, but I get it, I think.
Adam Cross:can you explain that?
Tammy Hershberger:Cause I don't know how to like get into that exactly. But as little kids were not not. Like for me, I mean my stuff was not nearly as rough as yours but like I was taught very early to people please and like shut the hell up and just do the thing, and you know what I mean.
Tammy Hershberger:Like yeah just stay out of the way and so my whole life, even though I am. I am outspoken and I will fight back sometimes if once I I even noticed that as an adult in my other business like I'd push against what you're doing, this isn't okay, and then I would start to back down after I pushed so far, because I'm like I can't lose them, I'm scared right Like little.
Tammy Hershberger:Tammy's scared to lose her friend, or little Tammy can't lose her business or whatever. And so as a parent, you have what I'm saying parenting myself. Now, as an adult, I have to be like little Tammy inside me is okay. I can protect her because I can set the boundaries and say we're not doing this. If you can't be my friend, we're not going to be friends. If you're going to treat my business like crap, you know even customers, some customers, are not worth it. They think they can treat you like crap. I'm going to do my best to take care of you last minute.
Tammy Hershberger:Everything's a push. It's all your problem, right and sorry. You should have came here two months ago. You know I can't meet your deadlines. I'm gonna do my best. But so in life I think you have to remember to be gentle on yourself and then reset the story, reset your narrative. Who am I today? Right, I don't even care if you didn't, if you was all your own fault as a kid, like if you got into drugs and you just messed up. And I see too many people as adults. They just like I screwed up so much, I just give up and then they just continue to be an F up and it's like no you can change your life.
Tammy Hershberger:You are not your past. If you choose to, you can change it.
Adam Cross:Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Can you speak to that at all?
Tammy Hershberger:Because you've you know, you've had a rough past. Sure, yeah, I mean, and I'm proud of the person that I know standing. I didn't know you back then, but I'm telling you you're a good man, adam and you're a good dad.
Adam Cross:So, I appreciate that. Yeah, I mean I think there's a certain amount of programming that happens as a child, um and again, I think it's really uh, it's easy when you're under stress, like you've got all this stuff going on. I think it's almost like default for most people. I don't know about everybody, but I've seen it in others too where we resort back to like that scared little person. I was in an institution when I was about a senior, around a senior in high school Instead of school. That's what I got so fun, which was tremendous learning experience and actually really good.
Adam Cross:It was very strict, very um, very rule oriented, um and a lot of structure which was completely foreign to me yeah so, but we did a meditation where we went back mentally, we were just daydreaming, basically, and actually walked into our old house, walked into our parents' room, eventually walking into our own room, and there we were confronted with our child self and I wept, I was like dude, I can't help, help you, basically like I don't know what to do. You know? So there's something very profound when we're confronted with that um and I think it in my experience it had to do with um, that programming we get at that age, like those formative things we're taught and um how we perceive life, I guess all happens, you know, I don't know what age is, but sometime when we're children, um, but it's. There's something definitely profound about that that we do need to take care of that little person. We can't just ignore, I guess what you know, as uncomfortable as it is.
Adam Cross:you know which I'm finding out now? I didn't know that. I thought we could just run forever.
Tammy Hershberger:Yeah, and bury it.
Adam Cross:And I started to notice like relationships are falling apart Like dude things are not good Like you need are falling apart Like dude things are not good Like you need, like even my relationship with God, you know, starts to get really slippery and I guess if you are anticipating reaching some hard times in life, you're not going to navigate those very well if you don't have a grasp on that in my anyway yeah, I mean I'm glad you had the relationship with god, even though you grew up in a different.
Tammy Hershberger:I mean, I was never a mormon, so I don't know all their teachings, but because I look at different god, that's all he needed to know.
Tammy Hershberger:Way different I look at this like I have a family member we had on the podcast recently and they don't. They don't love god right now and it's like I don't understand it because I said that on my Facebook post on one of my quiet times with God. Like I do believe God brought me through some things so I could experience them. So when I have coaching clients come in or business people on this podcast, I can relate and understand because, like I said, until you've been through something, you don't really know how you're going to react or how it really feels.
Tammy Hershberger:There's a fear in it yeah but I also know that if I didn't have the understanding of who god is and god loves me so much, yeah, even though I didn't have an earthly father.
Tammy Hershberger:My father was absent. I you know I struggle with that sometimes, but if I didn't have that, I don't think I would be standing here. I'm pretty sure I would have killed myself because I was so mentally not okay and then somewhere every night he would just pick me back up in the morning and just say just go again. You know and I am so thankful I have that Cause I look at people like this family member of ours and I'm like I don't know how you're going to make it. You've got a lot of life to live and life is hard.
Adam Cross:Yeah, you know what I mean. He becomes a placeholder, like he becomes our strength. I think in times of like darkness and weakness and things, that at least, if you're living my life, those are inevitable things you're going to have a hard time like it's. I don't go out seeking hard times or difficult things, but it just happens. I think most people probably are gonna inevitably run into something that is there's challenges everywhere.
Adam Cross:Yeah, yeah and when it's beyond me to have that structure and I've had friends walk away too, just fully like I don't believe it anymore. I'm like, oh dang. I kind of know what that's like, because the predominant religion where I'm from is I did the same thing. I had to reach my own conclusions and take my own path. At that point, you know, and um, right at that time is when I met Christ and I think, like against all odds, like there was no reason whatsoever like in my mind at the time why I should be rescued. Looking back, you know, hindsight's 2020.
Adam Cross:So I'm like what a critical time for you to step in because I didn't have anything else and I was going to start making my own assumptions about life and what meaning was.
Speaker 3:Can I ask you a question? You didn't give me that choice.
Tammy Hershberger:At that moment. I think it's probably the same thing. It's kind of the bottom no, bottom is different for every person, right like I was in the drug addict at the bottom. But I was at the bottom because I'm a control person. I had no more control. I was like I freaking tried everything with this person, with this situation, with this business. I can't make anything change and I kind of just gave up trying to fix it and I think.
Tammy Hershberger:Think that's when God stops saying because you let go right. And this is when God's like now let me work.
Adam Cross:Yes, would that be kind of similar to what you're talking about? Absolutely, there's like a surrender. I mean, I remember, I remember like it was yesterday, like just going, I'm understanding how big this is, like, how important this is, like how how important this is and by all accounts, it's way bigger than I can manage, you know to put it like that makes sense.
Tammy Hershberger:No, it does, Cause I'm in the same boat. I can't figure it out.
Adam Cross:Yeah, um, and I think there's a lot of value to going. Okay, I'm going to let go of the wheel here, because if I keep going I mean every time I try to control that it really results in more self-destruction and more outward destruction too.
Adam Cross:I'm not God, I don't know all the answers and I don't pretend to, but, um, that surrender piece is critical, I think, to really, um, in my life it's been critical to to get to arrive at that point of like just almost desperation, like I can't. There's nothing left here that I can do, so I'm gonna rely on you and then every single time like you're gonna show up, like homie shows up again, yeah, you're like whoa, you're real again like and, unfortunately, we try to take it back again.
Tammy Hershberger:I, when you were talking now, I had had a vision of a horse and this is my version. I'm like trying to, the solution is the horse. I'm beating it to death, it dies and I'm like, well, crap, now I killed it. What am I going? To do now. Now I can't get home.
Tammy Hershberger:And that's when God's like wait a second, let me help and he'll provide a solution, because weirdly, I can't. I mean I would. I literally turned myself into a fricking pretzel and I did things I would never have done and I would have never been okay with trying that or never okay with doing business that way or whatever. And I was like if I just mold myself into what this person thinks he wants, or my business partner wants, or whatever, then he will, he'll work with me and I could never, never. The mark just moved. It was like a target, like you're shooting practice and the target is moving 500 miles an hour and it's like never in one spot and I don't know what the hell's happening. And then you start to realize you can't mold yourself because this person's not molding, they're not even moving do you know anything?
Adam Cross:absolutely you can't change anyone. So, yeah, absolutely, I mean it's true for me, I would argue, mean I would think most people, to be honest, have gotten to that point where I've got to fix myself or just polish it up real quick and then be someone totally different for the money or for the fame or whatever it may be that you're striving towards, but then you're left with an empty bag after that because you just know that you've compromised yeah, you feel empty inside right because you're like this isn't even my moral compass.
Tammy Hershberger:This is not, I'm not, I'm not even okay with this right I am embarrassed to own this thing, or I'm embarrassed I have to call this customer because my company just screwed them over, or whatever right like it's not, you're not, it doesn't sit with you and then go ahead oh, I was gonna say I've got a ton of experience in that growing up the way I did, because parents were pretty much out of the picture from a very young age.
Adam Cross:So you, by default, I would just end up at other people's houses oh yeah so in order to stay for dinner or, you know, be welcome in the house, you must kind of adjust yourself to whatever is okay in their house, you know so you're a chameleon and you start becoming that, you start losing, like, your identity because you're like I don't even know if I'm more like that person or more like that person, or you know, but the survival is you gotta fit in because you don't have anywhere to go.
Adam Cross:So if they'll, you know, and then you learn to be I don't know. It taught me a lot about manners and a lot of stuff that I like, but there's um a lot of that that I've been trying to dispel, especially as an artist, because it's very tempting to be like oh, you want it painted like this, okay, well, whatever you're going to like, I'll just do instead of like this is my stuff. This is who I am.
Tammy Hershberger:So you're saying almost like kind of copy their style or this is popular, so maybe I should try to do that.
Adam Cross:That versus just being you and what?
Tammy Hershberger:the talent is. God gave you Right.
Adam Cross:There's trends and there's so much going on in the art world all the time that it's like do I try to keep up with this person or that person or do I just do my own thing? It's tempting to just be like I'll follow trends because I know that sells, to just be like I'll follow trends because I know that sells. It's a little bit more comforting to know like, hey, this guy sold this particular type of design a thousand times. He got success.
Adam Cross:Why shouldn't I just do something super similar, which I think is kind of hack to do that, but nevertheless it's tempting either way, even if I think it's totally not good to in in street art we call it like style biting, like okay if you, if you're gonna live that, and it's totally forbidden in graffiti, like you don't do that, and the obvious I mean the obvious answer is yeah, yeah, be yourself. But, like I said, that's easier said than done.
Tammy Hershberger:So I have a podcast. Like one of my first couple episodes was talking Jonathan Shullisworth talks about. He was talking about ministry, but all of that stuff, even what we're talking about today, applies to business or your life, whatever I mean. It can all be applied. And he was saying, like when you copy someone else, how do you stand out? What makes you any different? Like you as a business, as a person, stand out and be different and people are going to be drawn to. God will bring people and help you get found by being different.
Adam Cross:Yeah, I've seen that tremendously in being in trying this whole experiment. You know I think it's it's super valuable. But again, the temptation is there to like. I guess what it comes down to is do I want the bag? Do I only want the bag Because you'll get it if you take someone else's style and you know it sells. So there you go, it sells a bunch, and then you got your money. And then to me, you don't have anything else, you just have the money. You don't have your values, you don't have your, you don't have your heart anymore. You're just kind of like, yeah, but I, I get it. I mean, I understand it you kind of sell out.
Adam Cross:Basically is what you're saying which is when we, when we started, we talked about values and you gave me a list like in a coaching yeah, millions of values and you go circle them and it makes you start thinking like whether you know, first of all, whether you have values at all or not, and then why you have this specific value. And where do you? Where does it apply in business? And that was.
Adam Cross:I won't forget that that was really important to get out of the way from the jump, like you're going to need these things. If you're dependable, you're going to need every ounce of dependability you have in your body to do this. If you're loyal, you're going to need all that. So you know, whatever your values may be, but to specifically hone in on them and go, this could work, like in business. If I maintain these values and I'm honest and I I take care of it, you know, then it'll work well, and that's kind of your.
Tammy Hershberger:Why that to me? Because some people I start with that and they're like I don't, this is stupid this doesn't fix my problem and I'm like, but we're getting to the heart of the problem right and you need values.
Tammy Hershberger:To me are the the target of where we're going right. It keeps you on that path, a guided path, like it's your gps of like, what am I willing to sacrifice and what am I not? So for me, in that past business, I mean, there was so much emotional mess, but at the end of the day, I was like this you know, the clients aren't being taken care of, we we're not showing up on time, we're half-assing jobs, right, all these things. And I kept looking at like, but for me, integrities On my Facebook which I actually just changed recently, but it's honesty and loyalty are, like, my number one things.
Tammy Hershberger:If you want to roll with me, we're rolling deep like that, or else I don't want it, right. So when I'm not're no freaking family to me and I'm going to protect you as much as I can and I, you know I don't expect you to do exactly how I do, but I kind of protect you, to somewhat protect me, or like let me know if something's happening that I should watch out for or check on me once in a while or whatever. And so for me, that was my moral compass of like, besides the mental crap that was happening, I was like I can't do this. I'm so embarrassed I literally took myself off the website. I was like I don't want my freaking name attached to this and that's not just an ego thing. I do have other businesses. I don't want my name ruined.
Tammy Hershberger:But I was like I can't stand behind this. I am not proud of this place anymore. That was like the final thing for me. I was like this is now time to walk away. I told God this is not who you made me to be and I'm not standing up and believing and pushing this company. That's not doing the things I believe. And so that was I mean. It wasn't easy, but that was my final like.
Adam Cross:This is how I'm going to walk away from this.
Tammy Hershberger:Does that make sense?
Adam Cross:Absolutely, absolutely. I mean it makes sense in life, but when you apply it to especially the early struggles of business, it's like, yeah, you're going to want to hang on to those, whatever those values are that you hold, and that it should be said like it doesn't necessarily sell like that. I started after the values thing. I started looking around at businesses and was like boy, you don't have any value like whatever, but it stands out, but in the wrong direction, right.
Adam Cross:Right, it stands out and but also so does some place that does good work and stands behind it and has those values. That stands out even more in a world where, yeah, it's kind of like whatever those games are in the street, like the shell games where they hide the ball, and it seems like that going on, which is a weird, I don't even know why. I said that it's like a weird illustration, but it seems like that going on in a lot of business, especially when you get serious and actually want to try, it's like, oh, you can definitely make money with zero values. That's they don't exactly sell.
Adam Cross:But I think when you get a customer that really appreciates it maybe on the same level of honesty, integrity, all that stuff, they come into your business and they're like, oh, she's about what I'm about. I'm never gonna go anywhere else. That's how you get the loyalty and in working here I can't even tell you how many hundreds of people were like I'm never gonna go anywhere else I mean I see them come back because I think we sell them a shed.
Tammy Hershberger:Once they're probably done for like they're not, they'll move, they'll sell the shed they need, need more sheds, they need a bigger shed and that's, I think, really important that you brought up, because in business anyone can start a business and make money. It's true, because you can hoodwink someone once. I can spend money on advertising, get you in my shop, sell you something and have a terrible experience.
Tammy Hershberger:You're a customer once your customer wants right, or you can be like my company and then the people who've built the company before me. We do it right and we take care of you and we really do care about you. And so you come in and at the beginning you had to spend the money to get the company going. It's been going 32 years, I don't. We tried some stuff last year just to try and it didn't really pan off. So this year we're not really advertising at all and these customers are coming to me without advertising, so it it didn't cost me anything. And then they're coming in. That's not an appropriate word. I was going to say lubed up. They're coming in ready. I don't know, sorry for that analogy there, but they're ready because they've been told by someone else how great their experience was. So they're like I want this company.
Tammy Hershberger:So, that helps the selling process go smoother. And then I over deliver because I'm going to show you we're going to take care of you. Right so then they go and they're so excited about it because it's such a weird thing in business that people don't get taken care of. There are some shady businesses, absolutely so then they're so thrilled to tell their friends it's free advertising, it's this money. You see the circle I'm seeing there, right?
Adam Cross:It like it's just. Yeah, I noticed that when we did the advertising thing. I'm like I. I think it's good to have your brand recognized, but for a business like this, I just felt like it wasn't. I mean, from all the feedback I got from customers, it was like almost all word of mouth yeah, and that's how it mostly grew neighborshed, and oh, I saw my neighbor's shed.
Tammy Hershberger:So obviously we have a little badge or whatever on it that says barnyard. So that is advertising. But, our name precedes us. Right. Now I understand people move here and never heard of us. I get that. But if you start asking around and you look at the reviews, you know.
Adam Cross:You have a stellar and outstanding reputation and I protect it.
Tammy Hershberger:I mean we're looking at adding carports and I've done some research and I was all for. And then the companies I'm finding they have terrible reviews and I'm like my name is on this car. I mean the name of the carport is on it but I'm selling it to you as my customer I am not cool with having this company.
Tammy Hershberger:You're gonna treat you like crap. Yeah, because you're gonna ruin my name and I paid a lot of money for it and we put a lot of effort into it, and so that's again that moral, the core values or whatever. This is a value of mine and I will not break it. So that makes it. I can't use your company. I can't hire that person. His values are way whack. I can't do it. I can't bring on a business partner I don't agree with Right, or I can't have a friend in my family who's causing problems in my marriage or whatever. It is right. So, like going back to the core values, it is the compass for your life.
Adam Cross:Well, and that was a prayer of mine before making the leap of moving here it was like I know it's time. I can see all you know, the writings on the wall in terms of needed life change. So the prayer was like would I be able to find a place that is this, this and this, all the, all the things that I like in a business? Well, I just filled out an application and I was like all right, I guess I'm going to go, I'm jumping either way. So this is either going to be absolute trash and I'm going to have to find a new job soon or it's going to work, and sure enough.
Adam Cross:just like I said earlier, homie always shows up. Yeah. And as soon as he does, I mean as soon as I got here, I'm like I haven't even worked for a business that's even close to moral in so long that it was honestly refreshing to just walk in and see like, oh, we value honesty. I'm like wow me too.
Tammy Hershberger:And we don't just say that, like it's legit, you're out the door if I can't trust you, right, exactly, yeah, I mean and and a ton of other values I've experienced here with the crew and everything.
Adam Cross:So it was a real good template. On with the crew and everything, so it was a real good template. On this is what. Obviously my business is going to be entirely different, but if we can maintain some of that and incorporate, when you say entirely different, you just mean a different business, not the values, exactly Like in terms of selling art versus.
Tammy Hershberger:So if you're going the other way, I got to cut you off the podcast for done.
Adam Cross:I'm saying the difference between Art business and sheds where the business is structured, is going to be completely different, but if I can maintain some of those values and maintain some of those experiences that I've had since I've been here, that's what I'm going to shoot for. Basically, it made me think, oh, this is actually possible.
Tammy Hershberger:So okay. So going to intentions, core values are, in my opinion, your intentions, what you're putting your stock in Right. I feel like once you set those intentions or your core values, not only is it your roadmap, but I think that's when you're telling God like this stuff matters. This is what makes me me Right. This stuff matters, this is what makes me me Right, and I think God will bring people and opportunities that fit that you know the devil will do a little sneaky attack here and you got to kind of like, oh, that guy's not great for me or whatever, but like I think that kind of attracts. Some people say the universe I call it God attracts things to you and opportunities to you, and that's how you quickly decipher Is this yes or no?
Tammy Hershberger:Right where am I on this? Where does it fit in these values?
Adam Cross:and it wasn't lost on me how much effort went into that too. Yeah, I mean, that was probably why I respected you and John so much, because I'm like this. I know for a fact this was not easy to make and probably and never will be easy day to day. You know it's going to continue to be somewhat of a battle, but the point is is that it's completely worth it, even if the business isn't bringing in money. You know, you've got that to sit on, um, and I think, yeah, I I want to say it will translate to something good, which means money too.
Tammy Hershberger:But, like you know, your future, of your Adamant Academy right? Is that what you're talking about when you say future?
Adam Cross:Well, for my situation. Yeah, that's what it would look like. Yeah, but even just as you guys, as an example is what I was saying oh, okay, got you. Like yeah, it was just mind-blowing to me that tenfold God delivered on the prayer and you know, you start to realize things are. Things you once thought were impossible are actually possible. You know, surge in Colorado Springs. Yeah, that was good. I mean, I was like blown away at how possible it actually is. You know we're talking about people from all industries.
Adam Cross:I mean just totally different industries, but made the financial success, doing good things with the finances and still resting on those values. I'm like, okay, so you can do that. If you're out in the world I mean especially in Salt Lake City where I'm from it it's really easy to not believe that because there's so much sheisty things happening, so many businesses without seemingly any values and they're killing it. So it's like, oh, I guess, in order to kill it, you gotta, you gotta set those values aside and just kind of do what needs to be done to get to the money. Then you start to realize there's probably more important things than just money when you're, when you're going into it yeah.
Adam Cross:I know I started out by saying that would be probably, you know, the initial motivation, but I started finding out that along the way that there's actually way more to it than that you've got to have all the things we've talked about. Money is a jumping off point, right we all need money.
Tammy Hershberger:I mean that's exactly this is. Unfortunately, this world lives off money. That's how it works.
Adam Cross:I need some more yeah.
Tammy Hershberger:So if anyone wants to send adam some, um, okay. So what you were saying about rich, you know people, businesses that thrive or we think they're thriving and they may, on the surface, be doing well, but if you, I would love to know if you dig into the, the people that are running it it's their families falling apart? Are they addicted to things? Are they happy? You know what I?
Adam Cross:mean to be honest, most people I worked for that were in that yeah, not great home life not, not a lot something's falling apart, and I truly believe it's because of the way you're running your business yeah you're not lining your stuff up with God.
Tammy Hershberger:I'm a believer and I will preach that all day, if you. So you go back to what you were saying, so you listen to God by coming here or applying or whatever right right. You then took action, you moved, you picked your family up. That's not easy, that's scary that was terrifying yeah, so that's so you listen.
Tammy Hershberger:And then you had action. And then what happened? God came through for you. It wasn't god see. That's where I want, because I think too many people do the opposite. They say, even if they hear something like god says, do this whatever, okay, well, when the money comes I'll do it right when the house opens up, I'll Well, have you even looked for the house?
Tammy Hershberger:Have you even applied anywhere for a different job? When a different job comes, I'll take it. Well, a job is not going to call you and be like hey, you want to work for me. That may happen if you have a friend who's looking for someone, but do you understand what I'm saying?
Adam Cross:there. Yeah, right, like there's steps. It's like, oh, god needs to show up for me, since I did everything on my part. Now you're going to show up for me, you know, in two and a half weeks and there's going to be a check in the mail and the relationships are going to be great. It doesn't. In my experience, it never works that way. But you take a look After the day is over at what's gone on and you're like, well, yeah, that was an ideal kind of outcome which isn't realistic a lot of times, and you're fed your family's happy. You start going through the checklist of what's really important and you're like, oh, actually you did come through for checklist of what's really important. And you're like, oh, actually you did come through for me on an amazing level. But it's so easy to be like well, you know, ideally I'd have 20 g's to go put into this business, just dropped on my doorstep. But it's like, and I don't think god can't work that way I mean, I'm not gonna say it's not possible but.
Adam Cross:I think.
Tammy Hershberger:God knows your heart and where you are it's not how my experience has gone.
Adam Cross:It's more like we've got some more challenges and things. But again you get past all that um, you'd kind of climb your way up out of it and go and look around I think you have to put effort in yeah, exactly because you can tell me if I'm wrong in this, because maybe you'd be a different.
Tammy Hershberger:But to me, when I say I love the lord and I relationship with him, it's not religious relationship right I have a relationship with the lord. I talk to him, I spend time with him, I listen to him, right, and it is not. I didn't always do that. There was times like I'm listening, but I gotta go. You have two minutes, get it out.
Tammy Hershberger:You know what I mean and because I'm quieting my time and my life and stuff down to spend time in his word and spend time listening and writing what I'm hearing and then deciphering what am I doing? And is it just my thoughts, or is it god's thoughts? And so I think, when you meet him in the middle, just like a friendship with you, if, if I say I'm gonna, I want to hang out with Adam, but I'm not going to call you, he has to call me. Well, you're never going to call me because you don't know I even want to hang out. Right.
Tammy Hershberger:Or if I reach out and say Adam, we should hang out sometime, then it's on you now just like God to meet you there, right? And so I feel like, if there's no action, if you're sitting on your couch, I want to start a business. God, never start thinking about what kind of business I want, what skills do I have? Or you need 50 grand to start your business and then you sit home and say, god, I'm going to just go to work and I need you to drop it off in my lap.
Tammy Hershberger:You have to sometimes meet him in the middle and go out and start researching and he'll direct people to your path or he'll find ways to bring it in.
Adam Cross:Or he'll find a side hustle to help get extra money to help provide for that business. Do you know what I mean?
Tammy Hershberger:Yeah, absolutely, absolutely, I think it's, it's lazy yeah. To do it the other way.
Adam Cross:Yeah, it's easier. I mean like it makes sense if your objective is like Well, no, I mean you know, and also being like open to, for me, you know, I saw a sense of, I guess, maybe sabotage when I first left, because I'm like, oh, if I'm a skateboarder, so I'm like I know the industry. Yeah.
Adam Cross:I can get like at least a shop like started, you know, started looking around. Obviously I was just like trying to avoid what I know I needed to do, but I think it's important to maintain like, if this is not of your will, like of God's will, and it's just you kind of grabbing the reins frantically, trying to control something, I think, if you're me, I make all kinds of bad decisions, so it gets so important at a certain point to be like I'm just going to like pray and to see if this is right or not, cause, yeah, it's way easier to be like well, I better hurry up and grab the reins here and pull back and, like I said, like the skate shop thing, it was a way for me to avoid and kind, of like, I guess have some stability, was like, if I can just do this, this is a product, I don't make it, but I can stand behind it, and I mean you do have interest in it.
Tammy Hershberger:So I well, I remember when you told me again, like I'm not a dream killer, I'm not going to tell you no, because if that's what God's showing you, he's speaking to you, not me. But I remember thinking like, from all the conversations we've had, you've never brought this up. This has never been interest to you. I mean, skateboarding, yes, but not a shop. And I kept thinking like how does this get you to the art shop, right? Or your art business?
Tammy Hershberger:I mean this is going to distract you right it's kind of like the business I talked to you about. I won't I always try not to say names, but seven months ago I took on a client that I did something that I know how to do very well. I just don't love it and I was like it's really good pay, maybe I could help this person. I took it on. It distracted me a lot from my other businesses. It was decent pay. I didn't notice and I believe this is my truth and I believe it's true my other business kind of slowed way down. I kept thinking what is going on? God, we've been faithful, we're doing all these things. And then literally the other thing kind of fell apart and I was like this isn't working. I let it go. And within two days of letting it go, my other business just hundreds of thousands of dollars came in quick and he's still doing it.
Tammy Hershberger:God is, and I felt like I was distracted and not that God wouldn't bless me in it, because I was getting a paycheck that's pretty dang good, but it was a distraction, I didn't love it and I had no peace.
Tammy Hershberger:It was mentally turmoil. It was turning into not a good thing mentally again, right. And so I felt like once I stopped controlling it because I'm bringing money in, it almost hurt my other thing, because God was like but let me show you now, because I literally told him when I let it go, I said God, I'm scared, I, my other business is a little slow and I don't know like if things get too slow and I can't take a paycheck for myself because my guys are coming first, how am I going to pay my bills? Like, and then my mind's I'm going to hustle, hustle, hustle. I'll take all these clients, I'll figure it out. But I finally just told God I don't know what to do here. I'm trusting you this. I know this isn't right. I can feel I'm not supposed to do this anymore, letting it go, not going back to anyone else in that field.
Adam Cross:And then God picks this up and shows me like yeah okay, kid watch this right, you know, and that's how it always works in my not even close to that scale. I'm not.
Tammy Hershberger:Yeah, out there, you know but it will eventually, when you're ready, sure, when you're in a position for it right, and I think that's kind of the learning is yeah, I guess, what is the thing you're doing?
Adam Cross:Is it a roadblock, is it a wall you built yourself, like for me? I mean, that was it. I mean the skateboarding thing I'm like, yeah, it's not really my passion, but I can rationalize, trying to make it work because it could turn into more of a steady income and then I'll have my dreams and everything over here on the shelf getting dust and it's like, well, but then all of a sudden, you know, it came to the same conversation with God was like you didn't even ask me about that. Yeah, so why are you doing it? Why are you pursuing it? You know, I went down to a little art market where I live and, you know, started talking to people where I live and, you know, started talking to people. Turns out one of the I guess she's like the coordinator or something knew a dude that was in town that started a skate company or really just a skate shop, like a real skate shop.
Adam Cross:And that's when it all kind of came to me. After I text him, I was like what like? What a bizarre, like you know, timeline and just so happened I was looking for studio space, I wasn't even looking for this, and just so happened to know him and give me his number and I'm like, in talking to him it sounded like a nightmare, yeah, and I started thinking about it. I'm like, yeah, dude, you didn't even examine whether this was the right thing. You just kind of made some decent assumptions based on kind of what people need, your demographic, you know, the industry, all these things made sense, but it wasn't what I was setting out to do and it doesn't lead you to the industry. All these things made sense, but it wasn't what it was what I was setting out to do and it doesn't lead you to the purpose it would be controllable.
Adam Cross:It would be.
Tammy Hershberger:It may even be successful it was your solution, right, not god's exactly but do you see how god, if you're careful and you're paying attention, he'll bring opportunities people, things like that, a person that knows someone that, like it, didn't pan out for them. It was not good.
Adam Cross:Yeah Right, it's just bizarre that it happened then and I had to go back and have that like kind of walk of shame back to be like, oh dude, I did not even give this hard.
Tammy Hershberger:I gave it a ton of thought on paper and, in my own way, a way of trying to control things, but I didn't really look at like what I was getting into aren't you glad, though, that that came where you didn't get into it and start spending money, and then, two years in, you're broke and you're distressed out, and now you're like well, I have to close it now exactly because truly I, if I'm being honest, when I went into my window business, I never once asked God about it. I was was like.
Tammy Hershberger:Oh, this is. I know how I can make this happen. It was really easy actually, and God did bless it. We did well, but internally, if we were talking about the internal was a freaking mess for me. It set me back a long ways, so it is important to pay attention and listen, like you did. You just backed off right away instead of pushing through Like I'm just like I'm doing it. It's just rough right now.
Adam Cross:I'm gonna figure it out yeah, that's not smart, you know. Yeah, it was literally that night I was like, oh yeah, here we go again trying and desperately trying to like control things that just are literally too big for me you know, they're not.
Tammy Hershberger:That's not my department, it's not even where he wants you to go. It's the wrong. It's like the gps. Take this. You know it's telling you one row and you're like, but I want to go this way and it keeps correcting you like, no, no, go back, turn around you know, and thankfully you did it before it got financially messy or emotionally messy or whatever.
Adam Cross:So I think inevitably it would have. Yeah, um, just because, again, that's not like my heart's on it. I don't understand even this place, as as weird as it it's only four or five hundred miles away from where I'm from, but culturally far different. So it's like you're jumping into an industry and a new place. Um, we're sure we could look at, like, on paper it makes sense, um, there's a need for it, but it's like, yeah, that's not what was laid out for you and it was a learning experience to be more careful about, like, making leaps and jumps around to different things instead of staying focused on one.
Tammy Hershberger:Um, which I'm honestly easily distracted.
Adam Cross:It's not even surprising all of us are yeah, I mean yeah, it was such a distraction, and sometimes we want the easier way, because that path looks super scary and I'd rather, but this one looks a little better.
Tammy Hershberger:I can make this work because it's not scary.
Adam Cross:Well like you said earlier, selling art is super. Even presenting art is scary there's no, there's not even any financial risk in going to a critique or presenting something for no money at all. It's still stressful, so even putting like dollar value behind it is even more. And then your internal struggle, like we about earlier, is such a factor that I did not foresee.
Tammy Hershberger:I want to come back to that internal for a second, but one question really quick. So you were saying on the I don't know how you just worded that like talking about how people are looking at you for your art right and the judgment and the criticism and how scary that is Sometimes. If you look at that, your process is the art business to get you to the adamant academy, which helps kids think about that, like, if you look at it from my perspective, what I was talking about earlier, how god puts you through things to get you built up, you starting to take that criticism or take the fear of that and getting control of it. Because when you get to the adamant academy you're gonna have critics, you're gonna have people not like you. They're gonna they're gonna tear apart what you just did. They're gonna find a reason that they don't want, they don't want to help you, that you should be shut down. The government sometimes comes against you like it's him building up resilience in you right.
Tammy Hershberger:Yeah, resilience is the right word and so really like, I think, that book from hamish. What was his, do you remember?
Adam Cross:oh, um what was it?
Tammy Hershberger:hamish brewer yes and relentless book relentless yeah, and a great book so this goes in perfect.
Tammy Hershberger:So this has been like three years ago maybe it was kind of in the middle of my business. It was right when it was just about to fall apart. Uh, I was at the gym and I was doing, I think, the butterfly machine or something, but I literally the night before I had this vision and I was telling my friend. At the time I was like this is the weirdest thing. I had a vision and I had this strong feeling. You know how boxers put their hands up by their face to get ready to fight. Sure, I felt it and I told myself I just feel like a fight's coming and that's I kept seeing, like my, get your hands up by your face and get ready. And then it just my life blew up and it was like I feel like that's again the Lord telling me there's a fight coming right.
Tammy Hershberger:I didn't even. I was not prepared for it. I did not know what's coming like that, but it is a reminder. God, he knows you and he knows what you need. He knows what's coming and if you listen to him, yeah I should have prepared myself better. I did not know it was coming, but it was still a warning of like it's gonna get real for a minute yeah, you're gonna protect yourself yeah, and I didn't.
Tammy Hershberger:I kept myself. I dropped my hands because I didn't. I didn't protect myself from the people I should have yeah if you look at, I was thinking bigger outside forces right so it's just a reminder, how good our God is.
Adam Cross:Yeah, absolutely.
Tammy Hershberger:And then freaking be relentless.
Adam Cross:Yeah.
Tammy Hershberger:I didn't leave the ring, but I was on the ground bleeding for a while. I was like you're going to take my dead body out of here? Yeah, I can maybe like flick you off. I can't even fight you anymore. I got nothing left.
Adam Cross:Yeah, that's what you do and I guess it To me it's all preparation on how do you act when it gets dark, when things aren't going well. That's why in my walk has been go get help, go find, drop your pride. That hasn't worked for you yet, so it's not going to work now. And go find somebody. Which is bizarre because all it took was me like, hey, man, I need like a good psychologist or whatever, which, yeah, there's some pride there. Like you don't want to admit that to god, like, but it's like he already knows. So, as soon as you, as soon as all that was dropped and I all I did was say that I called this lady hey, I'm all messed up, you know.
Adam Cross:Like I don't have a good brain or whatever. Um, could you help? And she's like oh, you know, I don't have any availability.
Tammy Hershberger:I'm like oh, is this the one that we see? She told you that I did not know that yeah, I didn't have any availability.
Adam Cross:I'm like, oh well, it was worth a shot, at least I tried. I came, you know, walk, it was just on my lunch break. So I came back to work and was like, well, at least it gave me, gave me a shot. Before I even pulled into park here she called me back and was like I just had someone cancel oh, wow.
Adam Cross:I'm like, oh, and you just look up at the sky and you're like that's really hard to explain away with just sheer coincidence. Um, and you start to get this feeling like there's all like when you grow up the way I did. There's always like a feeling like there's always like when you grow up the way I did. There's always like a feeling like things aren't, probably aren't going to be okay.
Adam Cross:So you're, you're kind of always with your hands in front of your face, you're kind of always looking at the world that way, or like waiting for the other shoe to drop. And in those moments, in the moments like when you get the call back and it's like, hey, actually I do want to see you, then you're like, oh OK, it all starts to make more sense that you're not really in control of anything and then everything is going to be OK if you, you know, rely on on him and him alone.
Tammy Hershberger:And you see, the action you took. Right, you took the action, not just sitting at home, I should probably call someone you. You see the action you took right, you took the action, not just sitting at home, I should probably call someone. You actually took the step of calling somebody. At the moment was a no, but then God made a way. He was like no, this guy's going to drop, I'm going to make. I mean, we don't even know who this person was. Maybe they were ready to be done.
Adam Cross:Maybe who, who knows? But he made a way for you right, even though there was no way. I mean, the bible says that right and so, and I had such strict parameters on it too, I was like I've been in a lot of therapy throughout my lifetime, but I was like it has to be this, it has to be this. You know, everything worked for me. So when it didn't work, when it was, when the answer was yeah, I don't have any space.
Adam Cross:It was almost. It's almost, like it's almost easy to go. Well, that makes sense. That's how life goes so I'll just roll with the punches and then wait for the next thing. You know, it's interesting how quickly I shifted into like um you kind of gave up again yeah, I guess that's how it goes.
Tammy Hershberger:I guess that's par for the course. That's what it is.
Adam Cross:Yeah and guess that's par for the course. That's what it is. Yeah, and it's almost like did you even really want to? I guess no, you know, do you see?
Tammy Hershberger:the love of God in that, because he's like no son, I'm going to make this happen, cause I think that was his way of saying this is the right person. Right. Now I need you to understand something, adam you doing that and you working for me and me and you being friends that gave me the inspiration of like. You started telling me about this person, how like she's helping you and because therapy I've talked about it here when I had a therapist on a few podcasts ago and I was telling her.
Tammy Hershberger:I didn't grow up there, I didn't even know what that word was. We were so poor I knew nobody that did. I heard of as I got older, rich people do that and I just thought, oh, that must be nice. You're kind of nuts and you can't take pill enough pills so you're gonna go. You know what I mean? Yeah, my grandma did see like a force therapist. She was having major panic attacks and like through government welfare they got her someone I don't know, but I don't think it ever really helped her because she I mean they would have her color, but I don't. It was like here, just do this I look at it like a gym.
Tammy Hershberger:Yeah.
Adam Cross:It's the same thing to me. I mean, you can go into a gym and maybe someone likes the sauna, but they're wearing something that suggests they're probably there, for they're probably there to not really get the gains and work out whatever work out to whatever capacity there. You know they're not there to work out. Basically that's what I'm saying.
Adam Cross:So I think the same and most people that I've had that I've talked to with really negative experiences with therapy are the same thing, like I'd be doing it without the right intentions you didn't want to be there or you were forced to be there sure or you just had to shut someone up or you just want to go in and blame somebody like, true, a lot of them, a lot of people I've encountered in my life that are that way, went into therapy with the intention that would be the new scapegoat, like okay, well, things aren't getting fixed, so that must be your problem, mr mrs therapist, like that's got to be your problem. Yeah, I did all the things and came in, but I'm like the intention wasn't there from the start, though what was your intention going to this lady?
Tammy Hershberger:I mean, obviously I knew you need help, but like, what did? What did you think was gonna happen? Or self-improvement was my you were hungry and ready, just like I was. Yeah.
Adam Cross:I needed. I needed to get on a better track in life. You know I needed to be a better dad and a better husband. That's not a good feeling when you know. Just like in business, if you know you're in the wrong situation, it sucks. It's not good. It feels, crappy.
Adam Cross:Like every day is like, yeah, not not enjoyable. Like life becomes not very enjoyable and then things get. You know, everything around you starts to get uglier because now your experience, your life, the life you're experiencing, isn't good. So I think everything around you starts to become sort of in your way, instead of like oh no, that's my son, I need to be present, and like almost like we forget how much we love, how much capacity we have for love. And then all of a sudden, for me it was like 10 years down the road and I'm like dude, I'm just a shell of like what I used to be and nothing is enjoyable anymore.
Adam Cross:So when you hit that point to me, thank god I had some instruction on like how to humble myself and give up on the whole like macho thing and you know, pretending that you have some even small level of control, it's never I mean in my experience, never real control. Yeah, you're just you're trying to, you're just you're trying to. Me it's always like you're trying to front, you're trying to be something that you're not Um, and as challenging as that was to go, you're not that uh, your heart's telling you something totally different right now. So clearly that's a sign. So yeah, the whole reason I had to go and make that leap and admit to her just some random stranger that like here's what's going on. Like I know it seems weird and people do, and even family confronted me. Like I know it seems weird and people do confront, and even family confront me. Like you have a beautiful wife, you have two great children, what's so wrong? And you're like I don't want to get into it with them.
Tammy Hershberger:Yeah, they don't understand.
Adam Cross:But it's like you won't know until you reach that. I don't know what it's kind of like approaching a cliff. Reach that. I don't know what it's kind of like approaching a cliff. You kind of get on the edge and realize like you eventually have to jump, you know and well, you either jump for the ticket help or you jump, and sometimes you don't return, right?
Tammy Hershberger:do you know what I mean? Right, exactly, yeah or or you for lack of a better word like pussyfoot your way off the side and then things never get better and really you're kind of do it yeah, and your life just keeps getting worse because, your relationships are going to deteriorate, you're going to push people away, you're going to self-destruct, you're going to medicate with stuff you know, and I think your life just becomes a darker hole right until eventually you will die of something. Yeah, a substance, an accident, broken heart, whatever it is right.
Adam Cross:Taking the easy way out has never worked for me, and it's always ended up.
Tammy Hershberger:It doesn't work for anyone.
Adam Cross:It's always led to worse things. So, given where I came from and understanding, okay, I do have these tools that I never use in the bottom of my tool belt or whatever, go ahead and use them now. Now would be a good time to use them. And that was it. I'm like, okay, it gets pretty desperate and bleak out there. So there's a certain level of desperation and then, on top of it, like reach in your bag, grab the tool that you never use. You don't like, but you're going to do it and and that's it.
Adam Cross:I mean in my house, like with my little family, we have non options. Like getting, like, brushing your teeth yeah, it's a non option. Like, yeah, we're not going to put it on the table as if it's an option, because it's not an option. So you've reached that point where it's like make the call, there's no option here. You either going to make the call or things are, at the very best, going to stay the same and that sucks. So I mean, most likely going to get worse, but I'm saying best case scenario yeah, it's not going to improve, yeah.
Tammy Hershberger:You're going to stay in your dark hole, right? Yeah, so I want to finish this and then we'll move on to something else real fast, uh, so I want you to know, because you went and did that and then I heard about you like this is helping you. This is a real thing. I finally was like, if this dude's getting help man, this thing, maybe I gotta try this. And so you encouraged me to. I mean and you didn't say anything to me, that was just in my own way I was like this guy inspired me to go try it and it was the best thing I've ever done. Today I'm still there and I'm thrilled about it, because I'm like it's not always, you know. In the moment I'm like, oh shit, this is gonna hurt.
Adam Cross:I was honestly stoked. I was like it was terrifying, but I don't want anybody to be in that situation, but just the idea that to have someone to share it with was like okay, she's gonna understand, kind of what's been happening, because it's you can't talk about it.
Adam Cross:I mean, outside of nobody gets it you can't like oh, we did this really cool thing, even with my wife. She's like what? Like we played in a sandbox. She's like what does that have to do with? Like trauma, you know? And it's like, well, I could try to piece it together, but you can't really like go and explain that to people, so to have somebody to bounce ideas off of and even in there, just if anyone's out there thinking of therapy.
Tammy Hershberger:I mean, obviously, I think you got to find the right person and I think the lord will lead you. In my case, he brought you you to it, which brought me to it, and thankfully the same lady was available and I she's amazing and I think, uh, you I don't even know how to explain it like it just starts to slowly change you and you start to realize the behaviors that I have, the patterns in my life, come from being a child and doing these certain things, and then she brings god into it and that, to me, is where the diff.
Tammy Hershberger:I can't speak, because I've never done therapy with anyone else, but for me, I'm like that my heart heals faster, the pain goes away faster, the hurt goes away faster, I believe, because the Lord's wiping it clean for you 100%. I mean, was it ever? Am I crazy?
Adam Cross:Cause I've never done other therapy, so maybe I'm nuts, but no, I think, like I said, biggest thing coming into it is what's your intentions Like, do you want to get better? Do you actually, do you really really want to? Like I mean, you really have to want it to go back into some places that you're perfectly fine avoiding? It's easier to avoid those things and never talk about them. I won't say that, that's not understandable.
Adam Cross:But overall, is it better for your self-improvement? I would argue no. In my case, I would say it's almost always been beneficial. If my intentions are I want to get better? Are I want to get better? I want to. I want to do away with a whole laundry list of stuff that you know has been in my way and in order for, like, even when I started thinking about business and how to be an actual entrepreneur, I'm like that was always like a some French word, like what are you talking?
Tammy Hershberger:about. I still have a hard time spelling entrepreneur. I'm like how do you spell it?
Adam Cross:it wasn't a real thing. So even in starting, it was 100% obvious that all of these things needed to go away. Yeah, and the only way I know how to is to sit down in a room with somebody and put it on the just say it Like.
Tammy Hershberger:She's impartial.
Adam Cross:Right.
Tammy Hershberger:She's trained to know what she's doing. Right, because I like that's. Yeah, because I would so much as I was like I can't tell my husband this stuff he's going to think I'm crazy, he's going to want to men want to fix it.
Tammy Hershberger:And you can't fix me the inside of me, right? No, there's things from my past and then I don't want to tell him. I don't want to tell anyone you know, and I don't want my friends to know who might get pissed at me someday and go tell someone else you know. So it's a very safe space and I was very much like you where I was like the controls. I gotta stop, I can't.
Tammy Hershberger:I'm not fixing myself and I buried so much of my childhood and my mom dying, my grandma dying, and I just was like, didn't deal with it, put put it away, keep working. And it blew up in my face and then, finally, it was like now's my chance to fix it and I felt like the Lord was saying here I'm giving you a way because I took the step, called her. She happened to have a spot for me, that's great. And then here we go and it's like God's like, now I can work Because you gave up control.
Adam Cross:Yeah, I think your life one, undoubtedly it will become uncomfortable because you gotta go trudging through some things that, um, that's painful. Man like you know I don't, I would have been just fine, you know, avoiding all this for all eternity. Never, ever looking back, um, but luckily the God I serve was like dude. You are going to destroy yourself and maybe other people around you if you do that. Yeah. And that's the. That's all I needed to hear was like okay, then I'll do it.
Tammy Hershberger:And the beauty. After you get through the pain and the darkness, you start to see light. You bring light to it. I mean, the Bible talks about that and I feel like there's freedom on the other side. There's. My relationships are deeper and better and more passionate and more meaningful to me. Life means more to me than it ever has.
Adam Cross:Yeah, there's a correlation to that and what we were talking about with exploring your creativity on a piece of paper yes, like to be okay with, just like I'm just gonna start making something and it's the starting is uncomfortable.
Tammy Hershberger:It's hard. Starting is hard, but the more you do, the easier it gets. I couldn't even do it the last time we did a painting thing, all of us together, I I actually end up throwing nothing away because mine looked like a boob and it was supposed to.
Adam Cross:I don't even know what flower that's uh, that's probably something you should talk to her about but I was like what the hell?
Tammy Hershberger:I can't even like I'm. So I was so afraid to put the brush down because I was like I'm gonna mess it up yeah and then, but what really?
Tammy Hershberger:I'm an adult. I paid for the canvas. Who gives a crap if I mess? I can't do it and I just was not even enjoying because I was so serious about, even though I'm not even a painter, right. But like the more I'm messing around with creativity on the side. I'm like the other day I messed up my journal. I screwed up like the spelling of a word and I was like cross it. I'm like, oh, that looks ugly, but I'm like that's okay life is not perfect.
Tammy Hershberger:Yeah, it's okay to like just start. And the same thing with business just start. That's what we're talking about coaching. Just get going, start drawing, even if your drawings are dark right now, freaking draw it. Start getting that opened up, get the box open and let stuff start coming out yeah because it's freeing. Once you really get it, and then your creativity starts to slowly come back, the excitement of it will come back right.
Adam Cross:The freedom of it is yeah, it's better than the uncomfortability. Uncomfortability of starting yeah, that's uncomfortable. But then the freedom on the other side of it, which you have to kind of be patient and wait for. But once you get there, you're like oh, why did I even hesitate?
Tammy Hershberger:and god sees you and as you improve and get more cleaned up and make space for something new, he'll bring you more right, like he'll bring you more clients or a bigger business or whatever another opportunity yeah, and so I'm the worst businessman on earth.
Speaker 4:I think, as of right do you say that as of right now?
Adam Cross:I'm just a noob. I'm green, you're inexperienced.
Tammy Hershberger:I'm inexperienced it doesn't mean you're the worst. I actually could vote a guy that I know is worse.
Adam Cross:That's true. I shouldn't say that I am super inexperienced, but I have about as much on my plate as I can handle and things are getting met and things are getting better, things are slowly improving. But again, my ideal starting out was like oh, it's going to take off in this amount of time. I'm just projecting in the future and so far none of that has been the case. Like, I was kind of wrong on a bunch of stuff not all of it, but there was a bunch of stuff that's come up that I'm like oh, it's actually what you can handle right now.
Tammy Hershberger:So could you imagine if it blew up?
Adam Cross:no, I'd be. You would probably not.
Tammy Hershberger:I'd be on the phone with you you would be probably not taking care of your customer stressed out. People would be unhappy because your stuff's taking too long. Right what you're going to slowly ruin that business because, you. You're not handling right yeah and it stresses you out and you don't have the people in place, the infrastructure. So God's got to give it to you little by little. It's like your son when he wants a piece of cake, he wants something sweet to like here's the whole damn pie and let him eat the whole thing, because it's going to make him sick.
Tammy Hershberger:Right, right, exactly, or you're not ready for it but he will get you there if you just stay listening and then, when he gives you something, start proceeding with it Right. And then, even if you're not, sure start and he'll give you direction.
Adam Cross:Yeah, exactly, seeking that direction is proven to be very crucial. Yeah. Like not just going with. I mean, we have our instincts and like our, our gut, I guess feeling, but I think that can be super deceptive yeah that's from time to time. You sometimes it's right on and I use my intuition and I'm like you know, I'm not saying don't use your intuition, but I think I guess allowing, yeah, god to kind of work instead of that sometimes, especially with big decisions.
Tammy Hershberger:Sometimes I think your instinct is right, but then we filter it through this thing we call a brain Right right. I have that happen all the time in therapy. She's telling me something and I'm like I hear you, I get you in my brain, my heart is so not getting it. Right.
Tammy Hershberger:I can't. I enforce the boundary of my mind, but my heart feels bad about it. I mean, it's what I need to do, but you've got to connect it and sometimes then, by filtering it through the brain, we get our own feelings, our own thoughts, our own fears. We have that lens of self-sabotage. We're like no, I'm going to twist that a little, so it's my way now.
Adam Cross:Well, and I start rationalizing.
Tammy Hershberger:Yes.
Adam Cross:I'm like, hey, you need it, we need to push back and go back to our values. Does it line up with how you say you are? If it doesn't, no, so we we can filter some things out that way, but which I have messed up on since I've been, you know, in business.
Tammy Hershberger:I'll say that it's really hard to like cause sometimes you have to let someone down, like I just can't be there at that time. Um, but see you're holding integrity and honesty, because it's like taking their money and then letting them be upset with you. And then everything's a mess. You just saved them the time and the energy and said I can't help you with that.
Adam Cross:Yeah, exactly, and if you can't show up and you can't do it, it's a bit like one of my clients started talking about re-roofing her house. I'm like that's not in my, that's not what I do you know, yes, I understand where she's coming from, but I'm like not, you can't. I mean to me, I would feel awful if I took that job on and then did a bad job, which I would have no doubt.
Tammy Hershberger:Well, so Adam could have mentally processed that and controlled it Like that's money, I'll take it, Right. Then you could also run it through the spiritual not real filter. But God brought me this person. I'm taking it. Maybe he didn't, Maybe he's testing you and this is like. This is not my wheelhouse.
Adam Cross:This is not what I do. Yeah, it's easy to rationalize when there's a bucket of money on the other side, even if it doesn't make any sense. It would have been just probably easier to go OK, I'll take the money, but then then then she's got a bad roof, probably leaky.
Tammy Hershberger:And I don't think there's honor in that.
Adam Cross:And I've got, yeah, no integrity left.
Tammy Hershberger:So exactly, and then what does that do to your business name, right?
Adam Cross:Exactly. No integrity left, exactly. And then what does that do to your business name, right, exactly. That's the other thing that I'm starting to realize is, like you know, when people are really happy, they tell people about that. Yeah, yeah, we talked about that earlier with your.
Tammy Hershberger:I mean, the same thing in your business is going to happen. It's like when they get a new piece of art there's so what do you? You want to. It's like a girlfriend. You want to show off this beautiful girlfriend, right? You don't hide her away. New art Like I got to show my friends. Look at my art, this piece is so cool. New car Got to show my friend. It's not funny if you can't show anyone right.
Tammy Hershberger:So that's massively huge that you realize that because you could also take that job for the money. And then you're distracted. And what did you miss out on?
Adam Cross:godhead, for you, right could have another painting job came up, or could a class came up that you should have taken, or, I don't know, a person you should have met and talked to that could have helped you later, who knows? But 100 it's a. It gets uh pretty rocky when you're, when your time's bogged down with something that your heart's not really in exactly man, that's good yeah that is literally the thing I just walked away from.
Tammy Hershberger:Right. I was freaking good at it. Right, I'm not going to say I wasn't, but it was not. My heart wasn't in it. I didn't like oh, I want to do this today. I'm so excited. I'm going to do it because I promised you I'll do a good job for you and I will. But it wasn't where I was supposed to be, my heart was not there and it was mentally taxing, because I'm like I don't love this, but I'm doing it for money.
Adam Cross:Right, and that's been every job I mean I've always intentionally sought out, like jobs I would find, Like I was a rock climbing instructor, I was a Finnish carpenter, you know I found jobs that I really enjoy to do, but every job for me has felt that way.
Tammy Hershberger:See, I think that's a direction of like guiding God, guiding you like a beeper, like like guiding god, guiding you like a beeper, like you know, when you get hot and cold. You played that game as a kid. Like beep, beep, you're hot right right, you're way cold.
Tammy Hershberger:He's like directing you, like is this really? This has no passion for you, but it provides. Or you could trust and get rid of that and like, okay, get me to closer where I'm supposed to go, get me hotter you know what I'm saying, so like where I'm supposed to be.
Adam Cross:Even success in some of those jobs was like yeah I mean, I mean it's really the business owners.
Tammy Hershberger:I guess, like you're building their dream Exactly that's the truth.
Adam Cross:You. You get some fulfillment and like, oh, I did a really good job with that, um, and maybe you got a butt pay bump or something, but the reward isn't really yours. Yeah, it's kind of like you're sharing it. You know, Yep, the reward isn't really yours. Yeah, it's kind of like you're sharing it. You know, yep. I think that became really apparent watching, listening to you, watching you and John, and, just like I said, the possibilities becoming a more of like this is actually something that people do all the time. So it is doable. Something that people do all the time. So it is doable, um, because I think, in that process of being in the place where your heart's not in, you're just kind of I don't know.
Tammy Hershberger:It becomes so to me, it it kills you, it starts to kill you a little bit, I think I told you that last time I met with you in coaching, I was like the thing I just walked away from and this is I wasn't a prostitute, but I felt like a prostitute, like I'm. I mean it's drastic, but I felt like internally I was selling myself yeah for money and I wasn't being treated right.
Tammy Hershberger:It wasn't, it was going awry fast, right. So I'm like and then someone else I was talking to. They were like well, you know what's it like, why did you walk away? And I said, honestly, when I left it even though in the natural it was a lot of money I felt like I got out of prison. I mean, I've never been in prison but I was like I felt so much bondage in that and it was so freeing to like, okay, scary money, wise God did provide at the end of that. But I'm ride at the end of that, but I'm like it's you just feel it inside when you're not where you're supposed to be. And I could kept.
Adam Cross:I ignored it for seven months, yeah, but I finally got the revelation like, okay, I'm hearing you, lord, I'll change, I'll do different, you know, yeah, yeah, absolutely. I think that's the coolest part about doing the harder thing is the reward on the other side. Even though it takes some patience and maybe it's not immediate, I always arrive at that whenever I've gotten out of something, yeah, where it's like I can breathe again, I can like restructure my time, I can, you know, put this priority first now yeah, you made better right.
Adam Cross:Like amber, my wife grew up here so it wasn't all that cool. But just getting out of the whatever I guess psychologically was going on with me and you know generations of, uh, people that were kind of so my family was basically sewn into that land. It felt like, if that doesn't make sense, sorry, but it feels like a huge relief to leave that and do something crazy. To me it was a crazy idea that just had to be done, but even that move was like there's freedom on the other end of this.
Adam Cross:And I actually love this place now because I'm like I think it reminds me of free. When I'm walking down the street in my little town, I'm like this is fantastic. This is great. Yeah, like it makes it more special to me, because I think it represents a more more freedom. Maybe not not everything's going to be perfect, obviously, but it beats the bondage from where you came from even if there's security, right, it's not really true interior, inside security, but on the outside it's secure.
Tammy Hershberger:Because we grew up here, my family's here, I know this is comfortable right comfortable is where you'll die sometimes right, absolutely okay.
Tammy Hershberger:So I've had you here almost two hours. I'm going to wrap this up with you, but I want to ask one thing from you and one thing for myself. If you gave any advice to anyone starting a business maybe like kind of where you were, like you started, but you're kind of off track of the business, where you wanted to be, but you are still on your own do you have any advice for them? So I'm gonna throw one thing and I'm gonna let you have the rest.
Tammy Hershberger:So my only thing for me is if you whether if it's a relationship, a business, whatever if you feel inside that this isn't right, I'm struggling with this, not God's call for me. I don't care what it looks like financially. If it's scary to take the step to get away from it, leave it. Whatever. I am begging you to to get out of it, to leave it, to drop it and then turn to God and say God, I've now acknowledged this. I made a mistake. I'm scared, whatever it is, and I promise you he will meet you in the middle of that, at 41 years old.
Tammy Hershberger:I wasted too much time focused on things that didn't matter, on people that didn't love me, back right On people, relationships, sometimes businesses that were not meant for me, and I sometimes businesses that were not meant for me, and I don't want to see anyone else do that. So that would be my advice like if something isn't right, it's not right. If you feel it inside your heart, whatever it is, it's not right, you need to change it, you need to fix it yeah whether that's.
Tammy Hershberger:You need god, you need to leave something, you need to start something. Yeah, so that's my advice. What's yours?
Adam Cross:that's awesome. I agree with that. Um, I'd say sometimes you have to go for it, even like I know that's.
Tammy Hershberger:My heart jumps when you say that it makes me excited.
Adam Cross:It's so cliche and kind of, I guess, overused. But I think if you wait till you're ready air quotes I don't know if you In my experience you could be waiting an eternity.
Tammy Hershberger:You'll never be ready.
Adam Cross:If you wait until what you envision as being ready, which looked like a bunch of stuff. For me, it was like, oh, I need this loan, I need this thing. None of that was going to be coming in without a jump and um, I think you show your sincerity when you make that leap of faith and go well, I'm going to go for it. And also maybe don't expect it to look pretty, cause that is another thing for me, like it's really easy for me to be like, well, you could be here, you should be here. Why aren't you here? It's like, stop doing that, stop doing that to yourself, because it's not probably not going to be pretty for the first while, but so far it's worked out, which is pretty surprising, and I didn't really.
Adam Cross:I mean, I've done some things to get the ball rolling and put myself out there in certain ways, and I show up when I say I'm going to show up. But it's not like I have a crew and an office and everything yet. But I think it will come if I stay on track and don't be so scared to make those risks because, honestly, if I had waited until I was again somewhat more ready, I would never make the jump. You know the money could have come in and I've been like, yeah, now I have a bunch of money to invest but I'm still not committed because I still haven't made the jump, I still haven't got myself out there and done the scary thing. So, yeah, it's. It's not like comfortable at all it's.
Tammy Hershberger:It's scary, even at my stage of life yeah even as many businesses I own I there's still fear there, but I have learned, because I have enough confidence, because I've done it enough, I'm gonna push through that. I'm gonna be freaking relentless and if I get knocked out and on the floor, at least I can, if I lose everything, I can say hello, it was a ride, man, and I enjoyed it and I'm gonna do it again.
Adam Cross:Yeah, I'll get back up, I'll go again yeah, jump in leap of faith, but I'll, right after, make sure you got your dukes up, because it gets a little rocky. I mean, I think it's important to stay on that fight because it would be much easier for me to give up and go ahead and go back to a day job whatever that may look like and just go. Well, we gave it a good shot. It's like, oh, you're going to need to lean on that fight quite a bit after that leap is made because it gets tough.
Tammy Hershberger:You have to mentally prepare yourself for battle. I mean, I don't think people think and I think we've kind of covered that you weren't prepared for the mental battle that was coming, even just in your own internal self. And then I think at the end, just remember you're, I mean I'm never gonna have grandkids which kind of makes me sad, but for you, okay, I like it.
Tammy Hershberger:I may not either, actually well, there's a better chance for you. Yeah, um, but when you have grandkids, I think about sitting on that rocking chair right and it's cliche. But and I'm talking to these grandkids do you want to tell them I worked for someone, my whole life, I was in a factory, and I want you to understand.
Tammy Hershberger:There is nothing that's an honorable living sure but is it more fun to tell them the wild stories of I went on my own and I did this, and you're going to inspire those children to live their dream?
Adam Cross:yeah because that's what it's about yeah, the vision of something better has made it easier for me to stay in the fight when even when it's like this kind of sucks, like it's not working out the way I thought it would, but I'll have a story, or you know, maybe or life to show them. I mean maybe I sell something crazy that you know, calvin looks at and has a my, my old, my son, my oldest, and he's inspired by me. Yeah, and how? I mean?
Adam Cross:nothing is that valuable to me there's no like amount of money on earth that would make it. That would make that whatever it takes to get there not worth it. To me, it's like no matter what is thrown at me in this time that makes it worth it and for kids like us who grew up with very little.
Tammy Hershberger:Yeah, because I have no children to inspire or leave it to right. So for me, my drive, because we're similar in that way I'm going to live this life as big of. I'm going to be the biggest fighter I can to make it better, because I want to inspire people that come from where I come from, people that are in my influence. Financially, I can help people if I have money right. Financially, I can help businesses start if I have money. I can inspire people with my story of overcoming right. This life is not just about money, we know that, but it changes people's lives and you can inspire and help people to get started. Your story inspires people to get off your ass and go do something.
Adam Cross:Stop whining about it and go do something that was one of the most encouraging things about surge, and another aspect to a good vision is a lot of those people were doing like remarkable things with their money yeah, and I was like whoa, I didn't think. I thought you just hoard it and buy yourself stuff yeah I mean, that's the first place our minds go to, I think is like oh, I would like the house and the truck and the boat and all that. That wasn't what was actually.
Adam Cross:No wonder I didn't really have drive to like make a bunch of money because I'm like that doesn't seem fulfilling. I like experiences personally. So the idea of like traveling and you know, the finer things in life are more interesting to me, but to see somebody go, I'm going to actually like put this into whatever you know cancer research, my idea of, you know, skateboard art camp for kids or whatever it may be, you know.
Tammy Hershberger:Or giving kids an experience.
Adam Cross:Right.
Tammy Hershberger:Or taking. I mean I want that nice lake home. I've jumped that my whole life, but I want it big enough so I can bring my friends with me Right right. I don't want to be there by myself.
Adam Cross:That sounds miserable you know, yeah, exactly, it's about bringing people on the journey with you. Yeah, and blessing people.
Tammy Hershberger:That's why I have such a hard time letting people lay down Even if they you to do better. You know, and I try to force them. It doesn't work, but yeah, yeah, so I think we're both similar that way, so use that as your driving force. Is I think, is what we're saying right, not just for you, not just for your family, your future generations, but for people around you that you don't even know who's watching you, who's listening to you, who's seeing your art yeah like make an impact on people around you yeah, right now I'm leaning on that multiple times a week, to be honest, like when it when.
Adam Cross:It's just like. I don't want to do you know this?
Adam Cross:I just finished a giant project. Half of it was done in like 105 110 degree heat, and when you're out there doing that, it's super easy to be like this, isn't it like I don't want to do. But you start thinking about, you know, helping somebody get through something hard, or maybe even helping someone start a business later on, and you're like, okay, well, if I've got to do this, then I'm fine with it. If that's what I, if I have to just do this, then all of a sudden it doesn't seem so hard.
Tammy Hershberger:Even this little podcast. I'm like you. You know I'm only reaching 700, some people right now, but it's like you don't know what it's gonna do. I don't get any money for this. It's all my expense, I don't know. God called me to it and it's a way I can reach people and hopefully inspire someone, because you never know, I mean yeah what someone's going through, what they need to hear.
Tammy Hershberger:Today and me and adam were well, I don't mean that we're children of god, but but sometimes we feel like we're nobodies from nowhere, right? Who am I? And I am learning more and more. I'm going to tell my story. You don't like it, flip the channel, I don't care. But if you like it, then I hope I did something for you, and that means my life meant something.
Adam Cross:Right, I think anybody thinking that out there that's got to be recognized as a lie.
Tammy Hershberger:That's a very good point.
Adam Cross:Because I don't think anybody that had to go through all the things to. You know I've watched life be made, so it's not easy. There's so many things that could go wrong.
Tammy Hershberger:Wait, which stage of it did you watch? The whole thing, trust me.
Adam Cross:It's ugly, but the idea that someone went through all of that and all of us did every single human being living on earth went through that then you're not nothing. You have a divine purpose and a calling to hopefully to help people. The world is in a tremendous need of help right now.
Adam Cross:I mean, look around and go out there and it's like, yeah, there's a, there's enough struggle. We'd need a whole army of people that would want to at least have the intention to help that. So that's to me motivation to get through all of. Even as hard as it can be.
Tammy Hershberger:It's like relatively not that hard when you look at it that way yeah, on my website, faithfilledcoachcom, and my other podcast website, which I I can't even remember off the top of my head I think it's lightupyourbusinesspodcastcom I have an inspiration section and I just I posted a video um of I cannot think of her name anyway, she's a youth pastor. I shared the video with you about god's love and it's so important because I shared the video with you about God's love and it's so important because it talks in there about who you are. You are not your addictions, you are not the trouble of your past. God loves you so much. He made you for this time. He made you specifically for a purpose and, like Adam said, we have to stop believing we are not enough, we are nobodies, we have no purpose here, like we are worthless. That is so not true and I think that's the lie of the devil and is selling it to everybody and we're buying it Like it's you know.
Adam Cross:I bought it, I mean.
Tammy Hershberger:I have. I have at times too but I think it's.
Adam Cross:It's nice when you, I guess, look at it as a lie and then move beyond it.
Tammy Hershberger:Yeah, you have to get past it because you're going to just be a shroom sitting in the corner doing nothing, and that's not what god made you. You are defeat. You're. There's a purpose.
Adam Cross:You're supposed to help someone do something, and if you don't do your part, then someone's not going to get their help right, yeah, so that's just to believe in a divine plan as a whole, like the picture kind of starts to change and you're like, okay, well, if I, if I could be a participating person in this whole, yeah kind of charade that we're doing, then, then that's better than wait, you know wasting away or being, you know only seeking out your own. You know desires or whatever it's like. What's that saying my?
Tammy Hershberger:me and my three or something is all I worry about. Like there's like a saying like that and that's why I'm so pushing to you, because you have to get out there and get that art going so you can then get to the Adamant Academy, because that Adamant Academy will never happen if you don't get your art business going. Yeah.
Tammy Hershberger:So use that as your driving force, like I, it's not about me anymore. It's about God's purpose and he will push me to the right direction. Bring the people the help. I need the money, I need the fine. Whatever He'll bring it, you just got to start stepping out and doing it. So okay, anything else.
Adam Cross:Adam, I will no.
Tammy Hershberger:Okay, well, adam, I am very appreciative of you coming on here, people listening. I appreciate you being open and honest, just like I am, because a lot of people can't do that. It's too scary, and I'm telling you, you're inspiring people, adam, and I know there's greatness because I'm going to help push you there until you quit on me.
Speaker 3:That's the only way we'll get out of this, but I don't quit. Okay, good, I don't either.
Tammy Hershberger:So thanks everyone for listening. We will see you next time. And remember in the world of business, every success story begins with a passionate dream and ends with a strategic billion dollar handshake. Stay ambitious, stay innovative and keep making those deals that reshape tomorrow. Thank you all for tuning in and until next time, remember. Proverbs 3.3 says let love and faithfulness never leave you. Bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. That way you will win favor and a good name in the sight of God and man. And remember if you like what you heard today, click the follow button so you never miss an episode.
