Coaching Call

Ep 11. What does empowered coaching look like?

• New Hockey Coach • Season 1 • Episode 11

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New coaches often feel like they are imposters, meaning that they don't know what they are doing. Sometimes this feeling persists even after multiple seasons as a winning coach. Our guest on this episode is Coach Chris Lothier, who both feels like an imposter and has coached three championship teams in a row.

Rather than establishing himself as an authority,  Coach Chris empowers his coaching staff and players to drive both the culture and hockey. The tactics that he uses includes allowing players to choose the MVP, letting players choose drills, and using positive affirmations.

Coaching Call is a show about coaching grassroots hockey.  We believe in using sport to make players better people on and off the ice. Your hosts are David Trombley, a coach with 30 years of experience at all levels and ages, and Susan Sim, a new house league coach. Submit your questions at http://newcoach.ca/ or in the comments.

The vidcast is available on YouTube. 

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​Susan: Welcome to Coaching Call, our weekly podcast where we answer your questions about hockey coaching. More than skills and drills, we coach for connection and character on and off the ice. How are you, Dave?

David: I'm doing very well. Yourself? 

Susan: I have a lot of hockey in my life right now. so my son is playing select for the first time this year, and what I realized is I've made a lifestyle choice. I didn't just sign up for a sport.

David: You thought you signed your son up for the sport, you didn't realize you signed yourself up too.

Susan: Yes, that's right. 

David: A lot of parents go into this not really expecting how much time is involved in working with their son or daughter. Who plays competitive hockey and, especially for the first timers, people that have been around the gamut, once or twice, they understand the level of commitment that goes into these competitive sports and not just hockey, swimming, tennis, whatever sport you choose, big commitments, big dollars too, probably.

Yeah. And I think that's why kids in sports do well, because they have parents who are involved.

Mm hmm. Mm hmm.

Susan: Like it's hard to go wrong when you spend that much time together working towards a goal.

David: not all parents are the same, but majority of your parents that you're speaking about, absolutely. They know that there's a commitment, not only just driving, your son or daughter to the facility back home. 

There is a health commitment in what you're eating. There's a sleeping commitment. Then there's a commitment to making sure that you're getting your homework completed. Because we all want the kids to finish their homework.

Susan: Mhm. Mhm.

David: So it's not just the sport only. And then there's that connection. There's the friends. how much time do we spend with the friends versus all these other little things that we have to do too, right?

Between chores, homework. Man, it's great. I just think it's all about trying to get it all in. and balancing it, right? yeah, it's great. I think it's a great opportunity to teach your kids.

Susan: These are the lessons that we want them to take forward in life, be able to, being able to meet their commitments and being able to balance the different things that you want to do.

David: Susan, you know what, you're a new coach, and I'm just curious, they have this imposter syndrome, and when you're coaching, do you ever feel like you have to fake it to make it at all? 

Susan: Oh, absolutely All the time! OK, so let's talk about imposter syndrome a little bit. It's when you feel like you're a fake or a fraud, like you don't really know what you're doing. And it's just a matter of time till somebody finds out and you get caught and they're going to reveal you for the imposter that you are.

And I think the first half of it, I feel completely. I don't know what I'm doing, but the second half of it, I didn't have any fears that someone was going to catch me because I was up front about it. look, I'm the better than nothing option. So, let me tell you a little bit about how I got into coaching.

when Leo was, about seven, there was his first time playing house league and he had a couple of coaches on his team For various reasons, they couldn't make it to practice. Legitimate reasons, the problem is The kids couldn't even go on the ice if they didn't have an adult.

And I said, I'm the better than nothing option. I'll take all of the respect in sports, all the training, concussion, Rowan's law, that kind of stuff. And I can put on a pair of skates and stand on the ice. And then at least they can go on the ice. Even if I can't run a practice, I provide this opportunity that they couldn't otherwise have. And that was the first year I had skates. I went and bought myself a wooden stick. I went and bought myself a helmet with a cage on it because I wanted to be a good role model, but also I didn't know if I was going to just completely keel over. and one thing led to another. 

The following year, there was another coach, and sometimes he was the only person on the ice. And I would say, do you need help? And that kind of got me going. I would help him run practices. he would tell me what to do. I would occasionally run the door. it was really just helping, right? 

And then last year I thought, Oh, they're looking for coaches. Oh, I can help. And I put up my hand. and the other coaches said, Oh, I can't be head coach. because Good reasons. And the other assistant coach. for good reason said, I can't be head coach either.

And I said, I have time. I can be head coach. You're going to have to help me with the on ice stuff because I don't play hockey. I don't watch hockey. I've never coached a team. and they said, yes, of course. And push comes to shove, I end up running things. I just had to learn. I just had to learn how to do these things.

And I was very upfront about it, and nobody ever complained.

David: That's good, Susan. That's good.

A long time ago, when I first got into coaching, or about 30 years ago, my neighbor across the street, George, came knocking on the door and he said, Dave, 

My son's hockey coach. They just let him go. We need a coach. I don't know how to coach, he says. I have no idea how to coach. Can you help me out? I said, not a problem, George. I'll look forward to helping you out. And of course, I get on the ice with these kids and they start skating around and I'm thinking about X's and O's and breakouts and then I just kind of threw that out the door because I got kids can't skate backwards, can't turn, can't stop.

 I got a whole different gamut of skill level and it really started to make me think. I just have to keep it really simple. is house league. Number one thing, fun. We just have to have fun.

Susan: you, touch on a bunch of things that are important when it comes to coaching or teaching sport. one is although I'm a new hockey coach, we still bring a lot to the table. I have years of experience being a people leader. I also have years of experience teaching.

 people don't realize how much they can draw on that experience when they start doing it, and they get intimidated and they don't volunteer. And we have a shortage of volunteers in hockey. We can always use more parents who are involved, and I think that's also a barrier to a lot of moms getting involved.

And what my message to the moms is, if I can do this, you can do this. anybody can show up. you start doing little things and then if you find a mentor like Dave, or somebody on your league, or you find a head coach you can work with and one thing leads to another, and then you become a fixture, you know how to yell at children when they're skating back and forth and say, don't pass that puck in front of the net.

David: that's right. And you know what, Susan? you're drawing on something very What resources do I have inside of me that I can bring to the table already? And, maybe you don't have the skating skills such as myself. And, you know what, maybe I don't have the super people skills as yourself.

Susan: Yes, yes. So there's lots of opportunities to get involved in, you don't just have to, be on ice coach, there's other things you can do. Back when Leo was like eight years old, we shared the ice during practice with this other team. And the dad, didn't grow up playing hockey.

He played, roller hockey as an adult. So he was missing lots of domain knowledge. but he had a real team helping him, right? One of the moms filled out the game sheets for him. he had a dad on the team. come up with the practice plan, but he didn't want to go on the ice and gave the practice plan to the head coach.

And this team did really well. They placed in the top three, they medaled it at the end of the year.

David: Absolutely. And you know what? There was a coach I worked with as well, Jeff Cannon, and we coached together. I was the on ice skills coach, and he never went on the ice. He coached on the bench. He was a people skills. He was super at working with people, just like yourself, and we ended up winning an Ontario Championship.

 it works. He was not afraid to tell people, Yeah, I'm not going on the ice. I got Dave.

Susan: I think what you're tapping into is that there's so much to know about coaching that you will never know everything. And I think everybody at some point feels like they're not enough, right? Or I should have done that better, but I think that's something you should be comfortable with, right?

David: Mm hmm.

Susan: that's the nature of knowledge. That's the nature of hockey. And that's why we keep playing.

David: Absolutely. And you know what? It's so easy to not feel enough. You know what? We can feel that way anywheres in our life. But, you know what? I just think you you have to train yourself to say, What am I good at? What am I good at? And that's why I walk Reggie, you know, and I'm always walking the dog and saying what am I good at Reggie?

What can I do and who can I get you know, like Coach Chris, you know what Chris is amazing.

Chris: how are ya?

David: we've invited Coach Chris on. Coach Chris, worked at the Scarborough Sharks last year. I had the privilege of working with him as an assistant coach and Darcy was on the hockey team along with his daughter, Fiona. Who we nicknamed, or she nicknamed herself Hurricane.

And, but, you know what? We had probably the most exciting season ever, winning the championship, under Coach Chris. But, I learned a lot about Coach Chris afterwards, that wasn't his first championship win. He actually won two prior. So he's a three time champion. And the other thing I didn't know was that, Coach Chris.

Really didn't use X's and O's to coach. He was more all about the energy and the emotions. And, we just left the X's and O's to the bench. But, not once did I see him jump up on the whiteboard, a pregame talk or anything like that. So coach Chris, welcome. maybe you could like to introduce yourself.

Chris: thanks for having me. I'm Coach Chris. that's what my teammates call, or my, not my teammates, but my team calls me, I've been coaching for about three, three years. we would've been four, but we missed because of Covid, so we did miss a whole season because of that. But other than that, we've been, I've been coaching pretty steady, I was gonna.

I tried to sneak this one out and take this one off, but the girls let me know that was not an option, that they needed me back as much as I needed to be back. So I'm very happy to be coaching again this year and I'm hoping for a successful season.

David: I'm quite sure it will be a successful season. you know what, Chris, I'm just curious, how do you approach your season? for practices and games.

Chris: the first thing I like to do is try to get to know the girls as fast as possible. we don't have an extreme amount of time with the girls, right? Like it's just, here's your first practice and figure it out. my personal approach is I like to get to know the girls. I like to, have them communicate with each other, because as we all know, hockey is a team sport, and the better not, they don't have, not necessarily better friends, but the better that they're communicating with each other, they're going to communicate on the ice in the same manner.

Susan: how do you get them communicating?

Chris: just, small little things like, sometimes,usually I like to start off and I'll say, why don't you girls introduce yourself, give me a little bit of background on yourself, what's your favourite sport other than hockey, things like this. they're, and ask them their names, because you don't want to mispronounce their names because actually some of them can get pretty feisty if you mess up their names, so that's one thing you really want to make sure that you're working on.

yeah, I just, I like to get them to introduce their names. That way I can hear them say their name and then I'll try to repeat it. obviously I'm not perfect and I mess up, and the girls let me know when I mess up.

David: It's so true. I know I'm on the way to the rink and I have three names that it looks like weird alphabet spelling and I'm trying to learn these names before getting to the rink. And I'm asking Darcy, how do you say this name, Darcy? How do you say this

Chris: Yeah. Yeah. They, you know what, and the, if the kids are talking and making friends on the ice and stuff like that during practice or a game. if I say a name wrong in front of Fiona, she'll correct me. that's not how you pronounce that name. And I'm like, my apologies. And then generally I don't make that mistake again.

David: One of the great things that Coach Chris did last year, and I've taken it right from the start this year and our team has really come together was naming the team. Naming the team. maybe you'd like to talk about that, Chris. 

Chris: So with naming our team, I did the same thing this year. We, I think we are very close to settling in on a name. I think we're going with the purple pickle people, I think, because we're, our jerseys are purple and that was the name that got the most votes. so what I do is after the first practice, I let the girls know, we're not team two or team three or team four.

That's not how we. name ourselves. I let them take a vote and I'll initiate it by saying, if anybody has a suggestion for the name of the team, please come forward and let me know what your names are. And usually, as soon as one girl volunteers and offers up a name, then, all the names start coming through the pipeline and all of a sudden you have 17 team names that you're voting on for the first game. So right now we're, I don't know if we. Finalized our name, but we're it's leaning towards the purple pickle people.

David: That is so interesting, Chris.

Chris: Yeah

David: Of our team is the Golden Pickles.

Chris: That's even better

David: And I took it

Chris: Oh, because you have the golden jerseys this year, yeah, I actually really like those ones. Yeah.

David: And we're in the dressing room and we're sharing it with the other team only because there's one dressing room available and it's after game one.

I said, we got to name our team girls. And it just went from one to the other, all the way around the room and golden pickles came out. And I was

Chris: Yeah

David: Please God, not golden pickles,

Chris: My first original team, the team was called the Golden Girls because we had yellow jerseys and nobody wants to be the yellow girls. It doesn't have the same ring as the Golden Girls, right? So they named themselves the Golden Girls. And then my second team was probably my favorite to date.

They named themselves Ketchup and Fries. McDonald's was our sponsor and who doesn't love McDonald's fries? So the one of the girls suggested it and they all came up and it Instantly became our name and that was our name for the whole season.

David: Beautiful.

Susan: So Dave mentioned that you coach without using X's and O's. 

Chris: Yeah 

Susan: How 

Chris: do you 

Susan: do that?

Chris: I lean on people like Dave So my I would find my personal experience is that I'm a really good team builder. So that like in, in the sense that I make everybody feel like they're part of the team, like every girl matters on our team. If you're the best player and you're the worst player, we don't have a worst player, but if you're not the best player on our team, it doesn't matter because you're still a very important part of our team.

And I try to let every girl know that's how we run our team. And, X's and O's aren't really my thing. So I never played a lot of hockey as a kid growing up. I would say that I'm not an expert in the X's and O's, but I always like to have people like Dave and I have a very good coach with me, coach Rell, and they're very good at X's and O's.

So I don't have to be good at that. And I can, focus my energy on letting the team know, bonding the team and trying to do things that make the girls want to show up to hockey every week, right?

Susan: That? You have fun at practice. It's not always you want to learn the skills and you want to be a good hockey player but in my humble opinion I believe that the most important thing is to have fun because if you're not having fun you don't want to be at the rink, right?

Chris: So I try to focus on those things and my main thing is to let the girls know they're involved so the first few practices, the coaches will come up with all the drills, and then when we're leaning into the fourth and fifth practice, I'll ask the girls, hey, what drill do you want to do today?

And then one of the girls will, they'll be like, oh, let's do Superman's, which is what everybody picks, because it's the most fun. So I'll make sure that we're doing that drill because now you, If you get to pick the drill, you're going to put your best effort in on that drill because you're the one to pick it.

it's just, it's simple things like that I like to do. And like I said, I leave the X's and O's up to my assistants because generally they've played hockey growing up and they're really good at what they do. I like to bring the bench together and I let the other coaches do the hard drills that I don't know how to do.

Susan: Now, one of the things we've been talking today about is, imposter syndrome. The fact that we don't feel like we're a real coach for whatever reason. Is that something that resonates with you? 

Chris: Yeah, yes, very deeply almost on to a game to game basis. So like some days you feel really good about your coaching, right? Oh, I put this girl out here and she did exactly what I told her to do and she scored and you feel really good about yourself if something like that happens. But, when something doesn't go your way.

It's oh, I wonder if, if it was my fault that this didn't work out or, you just, you put stuff on yourself that maybe you shouldn't, but it's it's hard not to, right?

To correct these things, it's tough. You're always battling internally, am I doing the right things?

I find the thing I'm intimidated by the most is not the kids. The kids are the best part of the whole thing. It's just interacting with the parents. you want to feel like they can trust that you're putting their child's best interests while you're out there, like that you're, getting them to work as hard as they should be working and stuff like that, and, if I don't know, it's just, it's a few different things that, overwhelm you as a coach.

Susan: Yeah. Yeah. I hear you. I hear you. I find it super interesting that you still have this kind of background anxiety because you've won each of your seasons.

Chris: Yeah, but I've been lucky to win and I'm happy that we did win, but it's like I said, it's not it is about winning because you definitely want to win the game. But like i'm trying to give them the best experience that I possibly can with the skills that I have and luckily, I've had very good assistant coaches over my years. 

David: So his main skill about bringing the team together and making them feel good, I've never seen a team so gelled by the time we got to the finals last year. We had music in the dressing room, the girls were all In with each other.

It was really great. The one way that he does this is that after every game we have to pick an MVP. And the way I've been brought up, Susan, I pick the MVP because I'm the coach. That is my job. And then I'd be like, alright, it's always easy. Elora, You scored, Five goals, you get the MVP, right?

But we don't want to pick the same MVP all the time. I'm going to let Chris tell you how he picks the MVP.

Chris: I allow the team to pick the MVP There's a few reasons for it. I would say mostly The girls that are out there. They see more than we do. They're on the ice, right? Like they're seeing things that We don't see, so maybe our goalie's having a bad game. guess what?

One of the other girls comes over and supports her and lets her know, you know what? It's a team game. If you're doing bad, we're doing bad, and we're all together. And the girl that had that bad game is going to recognize that and you know who she's picking for star of the game? Not the girl that scored four goals.

She's picking the girl that came over and said, you know what you did a great job don't worry about it. We're in this together so like it's those things that you can't hear on the bench but the girls on the ice they see this and they're generally gonna vote for that girl as opposed to the girl that you know had the best accolades throughout the game.

Susan: I really like that.

How do you get your girls to the point where they can identify these meaningful moments and nominate, somebody deserving like that as opposed to the person who's scored five goals?

Chris: I would say that I get to it in small steps. It's just stuff that I continuously will reiterate. It's more important to be a good teammate than to be the best player. It's more important to pick your team up when they're down than to celebrate them when they're up, right?

Susan: And that's the kind of stuff that I preach in our locker room and on the bench. And I just, I don't know. That's just, like I said, I never played competitive hockey, but I've always played hockey, like street hockey, and now I play inline as an adult. And, it's just, these are the things that I've experienced that I've enjoyed about hockey, and I'm trying to, bring those to the forefront as a coach.

David: Chris is so good, Susan. He is so good that he even can motivate the parents without even the parents knowing. And so the one game he goes, all right, kids, if we win this game tonight. Free tacos for everybody!

Chris: Yeah. It hurts the pocket a little bit, but let me tell you, did we win that game?

 I can't remember, I feel like we won that

David: That.

Chris: But, small things like, if you persuade me with food, I'm probably going to play better too. We also have a,

David: To play.

Chris: Yeah, we have a shutout rule. So if you get a shutout on our team, also you get free donuts for your whole team.

And, that's, donut is considered a shutout. They've always been, associated together. It was actually my daughter Fiona that came up with this rule without, talking me about it. But, I get the credit for it now and I just, it cost me whatever it cost to buy a dozen donuts.

Susan: That's right.

Chris: It's really worth it.

Susan: What does a pre game talk look like?

Chris: You know what, generally a pre game talk is just to try to get them excited. I wouldn't say pre game is my strongest suit. I bumble my words when I get excited and, but just to let them know, let's go out there, let's have fun. But remember it's about working hard. The harder you work, the more fun you're going to have out, out there.

And the more you put in, the more you're going to get out of it. And so I try to reiterate stuff like that. Throughout the pregame speech. And,like I said, and other times I lean on my coaches because, they have good ideas too. I'm labeled the head coach, but we coach as a team and we play as a team and that's the atmosphere we try to build.

Susan: I really appreciate that humility, Coach Chris.

Chris: I got lots of humility. That's my specialty, actually.

Susan: The way that you describe these things, it makes me feel like I can do this. I see what you mean,

Chris: on out. Yeah,

David: And you know what? Anyone can do this. And this year, I haven't told Coach Chris this, but, I am now Coach Chris. I have no whiteboard. I have given that whiteboard over to Coach Grant on my team. And I said, you're the X and O guy. And he's really? I said, yeah, you even get the puck back.

There you go, right?

Chris: I enjoy

So now he brings the pucks and the pylons and the X's and he loves it. I said, I'm just going to be the emotional make everyone feel good So I'm gonna work on that which is probably a shortfall of me because I'm more of an X and O guy and I'm gonna work on it all season I want to say thanks to Chris, but you know what it just gives me this opportunity to grow In my little small field too. And, that's all I do. I just stand there, I want to say X and O. Nope, go see Coach Grant. he'll show you how to play. Go see Coach Grant. And, I'm just trying to make sure everyone's getting equal ice time. Yeah split it up evenly as you can, right? That's another thing too, is sharing the ice time with everyone, as equal as possible because you never know who's going to be a hero in a big moment. It could be anybody on that team.

Susan: Mhmm,

Chris: By being out there and contributing, right? So get out there and have fun.

Susan: Yeah. Do you also delegate some of the on bench coaching? Like when you give kids feedback on plays?

Chris: Yeah, absolutely. I like to think that I do. So for my team now we have, I have two assistant coaches and they're both very good at what they do. and on our bench I have one coach that deals with the offense and one coach that deals with the defense and I just try to overlook, the whole game, the game as a whole and make sure that everything's running as smoothly as possible.

But to say that, I would probably say my job is the easiest on the bench at this point, I'm not making sure they're all getting out on time and I try to, like I said, I try to lean in on my assistants as much as possible.

Susan: When I was head coach of the house league team last year, if I had two assistants who would run the doors, one would run the, offensive line, the other one would run the defensive line. The my favorite thing to do would be to stand on the bench, and watch the game and look for things to tell kids that they did well.

Chris: Yeah, honestly, I do pretty much the same thing. You want to let them know. If they're not doing something well, sure. But positive affirmation is a huge thing in my coaching book too, because,you put a smile on the girl's face before she goes out there, guess what? She's going to go out and play well.

She's going to feel good and she's going to put a really good effort in, right? So that's the way I look at it.

David: Now, is it possible to give too many or too much or positive affirmation? 

Chris: Uh, maybe, but I haven't ran into that especially as a house league coach. I feel like every kid generally wants to be there, of course, but, they're there for the love of the game, and that's what I'm there for, . And if I can, I try to be as positive as possible, but I will, if I see something that They're not doing that I know that they can do.

I'll let them know, hey, you gotta get to that spot, If you're a winger, you gotta get to those boards. If you're a center, you gotta play down the middle. I'll give them, giving direction as positively as possible. Just because I feel like if I was playing and I had a coach, I would want them to be like that for me.

David: Susan, let me just add into this a little bit what Coach Chris is really good at. So when we were picking the MVPs, he did go around the room and all the girls and see if it was even, three for this player, three for that or whatever it is. He was very good at being truthful. And also, saying, you did this very well.

And rather than making up some BS saying, you did this well. He doesn't do that. He finds the truth in what to give that affirmation for. And he was equal. All the girls got that MVP jersey equally. I think he kept a list of that. I hope he did, because I can't remember all those.

 I'm pretty sure that, 100 percent sure that every girl on our team did earn,Absolutely, they did. No, absolutely. Yeah, that's what I

Chris: Even the girls noticed it like I would have Fiona and Darcy being like, oh that so and so didn't get it yet. So that's who we're voting for this week because she really deserves it, too .You know stuff like that like they would like group up together and be like I don't think this girl got it And that's the kind of atmosphere we're trying to develop in off, right?

because we want to be as inclusive as possible and How do you do that? You involve the kids. You make them, they're a part of this team more than we are. We're just there to support them. It's their team and we got to let them know you got to help out too, but at the same time it's your team so you want to be proud of it . You want to let everybody know I'm a hockey player, 

Susan: I tried doing this and I must not have, I must be missing something from the formula where I suggested to the kids that they should choose a player of the game, like an MVP. And they would either vote for their buddy or they would vote for the person who scored the most goals.

And the problem is that it's, their buddies are the same every week and the goal scorers are the same every week. So I think there's something I need to do differently in order to get it to work the way that you do.

Chris: Something, maybe, suggest things like,let them know that it's not about the goal scorer. It's about who had their best game that game. You know what I mean? As opposed to who had the best game. If you recognize something like I don't want to use a real name, but say Susie went out there.

Susie's not a great skater, but you saw Susie never gave up on that puck. And she was going, she was moving her feet the whole time. Like she was supposed to and her effort level from the previous games were extremely higher than she normally does. I would let them know,that was something that you could look at for a player of the game.

Just giving them a small suggestion, you're not looking for this and this only. You're looking for improvement and self worth out there on the ice. And,I, they pick on it, pick up on it pretty quick. They're smarter than we are, that's for sure. They'll figure it out pretty good, but like little small suggestions, or say one game, the game before you're like, man, you were really good out there.

So you like, you encourage a child in front of the other kids. Wow, I can't believe how much better you were today. And then the other kids will see yeah, she really was good out there today. And then they're going to make that idea to help. Vote for that specific child, for MVP. 

like I tell my daughter all the time, she'll, if she's upset about, playing with higher skilled players, I said, your journey is your journey. And as long as you're improving your game from yesterday's game, that's what's important here. Not that you're the best player on the ice is that your progression is on an up.

Like a incline or yes an incline so as opposed to you know going backwards or if you had a bad game You just try to fight that one off and come back even harder for your next game.

Susan: my yoga teacher talks about the gap and the gain. The gap is the distance between where you are and where you want to be. And the gain is the distance between where you are now and where you were before. And I like how you emphasize where, how far you've come as opposed to where you've fallen short.

Chris: Exactly. And that's again It's as much positive affirmation as you could give them like that's really what you're they're looking for. If you're guiding somebody nobody wants to hear, oh, you're not working hard enough out there and don't get me wrong, I do that mostly to my own daughter, but privately, and then I'll feel bad and I'll be like, you are great, you're doing your thing, but there's a couple extra things that I need out of you, you.

Susan: and not even in a joking way, right?

Chris: No, no, absolutely.

Susan: Yeah. I think that's important. Yeah.

Chris: Yeah, I find that I'm definitely harder on my daughter than I should be compared to the rest of the girls because it's like, I don't, I, it goes back to my, self awareness and you're thinking, if my daughter's not working as hard as everybody else out there, they're going to think that I'm a bad coach and stuff like that, right?

it's not true, but that's the things that go through your mind is like, if they see her slacking off, then they're going to think that I don't know how to coach and I don't know. It's just stuff that builds up in your head. It's not necessarily true at all, but,

Susan: So did you have a particularly good coach or particularly bad coach that nudged you in this direction for your coaching style?

Chris: I'd never had a coach, actually. I never played, organized sports. really, what my, originally I volunteered to help out, in the league. I wanted to be on the ice and just, be an assistant, and help out. But, I ended up getting put on a team with no coach and no assistant coach.

It was my very first year, and I was the coach and the assistant coach all by myself. Our what happened was the coach that was supposed to coach the team actually got, his daughter made the rep team, so him and his daughter left, and I was the only assistant coach, and I ended up taking over, and I just flew by the seat of my pants to be quite honest.

Susan: Oh, that's the same as my experience first year coaching.

Chris: Yeah, it was scary, but you know what, when you find the looks that they give you and the appreciation that they show you on the ice, it's this is all worth it. And I don't know if I could just be a fan anymore, especially with my daughter, like as going to her game, I would just be jumping on the bench, bothering the coaches I feel if I wasn't a coach.

Susan: Yeah, I feel the same way. I don't know where we're going in our, my hockey journey with my son. I don't know what he wants to do after this year. But yeah, like it's been really lovely going every step of the journey with him.

Chris: Yeah, it's and to get a bench side seat of watching your kid plays. The best like when they come off the bench and the things that they do with each other is amazing like For instance when me and Dave had our own team we were like talking and organizing and making sure everything was happening and we looked over and we saw our two daughters and I have four other girls all huddled around and his daughter Darcy's just Giving them the X and O's this is, we got to be here and you got to be over here and but no coaching involved.

They were coaching themselves and it was like the cutest thing ever. it's stuff like that just, how could you miss that? You, if you're watching as a fan, you're not seeing stuff like this on the bench, it's just everything about hockey. I don't know. I've always been passionate about hockey and this just, it makes me more involved, 

Susan: Oh, what a great story, coach Chris.

Chris: Yeah, it's there's so many. it's

David: Oh yeah,

Chris: Every game you have something fun.

David: Absolutely. That was a funny moment though, when, Darcy took over my whiteboard and my marker

Chris: Yeah.

David: and was telling all the girls, okay, we're going to go here to here and go here. And they're all in. They bought into her plan and out they went.

Chris: Yeah. And like I said, some of the stuff like that you, that I would, that parents would give me credit for, it's the kids doing it themselves. Like they came up with their own goal celebration and it was probably the most fun we had all year when they, we started celebrating. I think it was called the Oogley or something and it was hilarious and every kid did it.

Yeah.

David: Thing that every time they scored and then they would come and high five the bench. It was a lot of fun. It was a lot of fun. But one thing I would say as they do age, The, the, their mannerisms change and they're not those cute little nine and ten year olds that want to be excited and every time I remember our first game this year, I walked in the room and I'm like, Hey, girls, who's ready to go?

Chris: And they're all like, Yay, we're ready to go, but they're, they're at that age that they're not, they don't want to show their excitement. Even if they're all buzzing inside, they're just all Yes, we are ready to play, it's funny how as they grow their attitude change not their attitude But like the way they project themselves it changes and it's pretty funny But they're still that same kid that wants to come out and have a good time.

Susan: They're trying to be a little bit more cool.

Chris: Yeah, exactly

Susan: Yeah. Yeah, that's honestly what I don't what all is like now there now I'm not the only one worried about am I saying and doing things right? They're starting to do that too, 

Have to a little more mature and things like this.

Chris: It's something to look forward to next year, Chris, so thank you for the heads up. I appreciate that. Yeah, no problem. It was pretty funny. it was a culture shock, but then we reeled it in and we're getting back to our having fun. So

David: that was really good. I really enjoyed that talk, Coach Chris. 

Chris: It's the hot chocolates in the arena that you remember the most, not who if we won or lost, right?

Susan: Yeah,

Chris: those are the memories you hold on to. the experiences, the friendships you've gained, and That's mainly what we're trying to, as a coach myself, and that's what I tried to get them to understand.

It's like you're not playing hockey to go to the NHL. You're playing hockey 'cause you love the game or the,you journey is gonna be fun. if your journey is fun, you're gonna enjoy it a lot more, 

David: And the one thing I've been working with Darcy is that now she has school friends And she doesn't, none of her school friends play hockey. So now she has her hockey friends and the hockey friends keep together. And she was so excited to come back and to, that first day at McGregor park arena.

she couldn't wait to see all the hockey friends again.

Chris: and Fiona was the exact same way. It was all like that the That's what makes my passion go even higher than it already is Stuff like that because you can see that they're starting to enjoy the game that you love as much as you do.

Susan: as parents, we want the kids to love the game that you love. And this is why we coach out of love, love for the game and love for your kids. and I love how you are bringing this to, your team.

Chris: Like I say, I've loved hockey since I was, as far as I'm concerned, born. It's probably not the truth, but I remember watching as a kid and it's if kids enjoy hockey as much as I do, then they're going to love it a lot because that's how I feel about the game. And, I could watch any team, any age, any skill level, and I'm going to enjoy a hockey game.

Susan: So thanks for coming on to the show and sharing that with us, coach Chris.

Chris: No problem. It was my pleasure.

David: It was great.

Chris: Thank you for having me. it was my pleasure.

Susan: Yeah, our 

David: pleasure too. 

It was great. He was awesome. You know what? He was awesome. Nothing but what we expected. So thank you.

Susan: Thanks for tuning in to Coaching Call. We'll be back next week to answer more questions. The audio podcast is available on Apple, Spotify, and other directories. The vidcast is available on YouTube. Send us your questions on our website or in the comments below. Bye!

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