Heal The Healers Podcast
Welcome to Heal The Healers Podcast where we explore the intersection of faith and medicine and integrate Christian principles for healing and restoration in our own lives and in the field of medicine.
Join Dr. Inga Hofmann, a Christian physician with years of experience in academic medicine on a transformative journey at the crossroads of faith and medicine.
Discover the synergy between your Christian faith and medical expertise through insightful teachings and interviews that will empower you to integrate your faith and biblical principles seamlessly into your daily life so you can discover your unique purpose and calling to make a bigger impact in medicine.
Explore the dynamic fusion of faith and healing, revolutionizing your personal journey and medical practice through Christian beliefs.
Together, we can spread God's love and healing throughout academia, science, and healthcare and revolutionize medicine—one physician at a time.
Heal The Healers Podcast
7. How God Sustains You and Me in Medicine
Welcome to Heal the Healers – the podcast where faith and medicine intersect! In this episode, host Inga Hofmann, a pediatric hematologist, shares her journey through the challenges of medical training and how God sustained her. She is sharing personal stories of how God provided specific career guidance from the time when she matched at Boston Children's Hospital for her fellowship to discerning new seasons when it was time to leave. Inga offers insights into the importance of faith and hearing God's voice in navigating our medical career.
Discover how God's presence can transform the toughest moments in medicine and learn to discern His guidance in your career. Inga also drops a teaser about an upcoming opportunity for Christian physicians to join a supportive community to get trained and equipped, so stay tuned!
📅 Mark your calendar for January 22nd, 2024 for exciting announcements!
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Let's face it, our medical training can be pretty intense and sometimes it can be grueling. And you wonder am I doing the right thing and am I cut out for this? Well, in this episode I want to dive into this topic how God sustained me and sustains you through our medical training and career. This is an important lesson, so stay tuned for after the intro and we will be right back. Welcome to the Heal the Healers podcast, where we explore the intersection of faith and medicine, discover your God-given potential and experience Christ's healing in the midst of medical burnout. I'm your host, inga Hoffman, a pediatric chemo-doc, physician, coach and follower of Jesus. Together, we will navigate the challenges of medicine, integrate faith into our personal and professional lives, experience spiritual renewal and find restoration in Christ at any time. Well, welcome back to another episode of Heal the Healers. I'm Inga Hoffman, your host, and I'm very happy and excited and honored to be here with you today.
Speaker 1:On today's episode of Heal the Healers, I want to discuss how God really sustains us in medicine and how he helps us as we carry in our journey of training, being and attending. Wherever you are in your academic career or in your physician career, god is here to sustain you and help you. So I want to share a little bit of my story in the hope that it will encourage you Well, by training. I'm a pediatric cancer doctor. I trained as a pediatrician at UCSF and then went on to match at Boston Children's Hospital many years ago, in 2005, to do my PZMONG fellowship and I have to tell you that was an exciting time. I still remember when I matched and that is actually an important part to remember and to in my history to reflect on, because it really helped me later. I really prayed at the time that God will match me to the right position Now. Boston Children sounded exciting. It was at the time in stillness, in many ways the top program in the country and I wanted to train at a top tier program that had a high reputation, that had a lot of history and training academic pediatric chemo doctors, where I would see the rare birds and where I get in-depth training on all the diseases.
Speaker 1:It was really important to me to see a wide spectrum, to not be alone in my training, but I also knew that it was very grueling. In fact, when I interviewed there one of the people I interviewed with one of the fellows I talked to I could tell he was in the middle of his fellowship. He was exhausted, a little bit bitter and frustrated and a little edgy as we get as training moves along. That was before much of any work or regulation. So we were working 100 hours per week and I was like, am I going to be cut out for this? I really want to go there, but is this the right choice for me? And I did rank it as my number one program and I felt in my heart of hearts yes, that's where I want to be, but I'm taking everything that the Lord is giving me and where he sends me. There I will go.
Speaker 1:And I do remember that I was very open to ranking or matching at other programs and I had interviewed at a number of programs. And when match day came, I matched at Boston Children's Hospital and I was so excited. But I also knew that that was a difficult road ahead, that the training will be intense, that I will be working long hours and that I will see a lot. But I was ready to do that for two reasons the obvious reason or the professional reason. I knew that I will get excellent training that will equip me and set me up for my future and for my success, and I am a person who is thriving on excellence that is one of my core values. So I knew that that will be a good match.
Speaker 1:The much more important part in this is that I knew I had very specifically prayed that God even will not allow me to go to Boston Children's if he felt like I could not sustain it, that I was not cut out for this or equipped for this, or that he just plainly had other plans. I was very directive or specific. I should say in my prayers to please, lord, don't let me go there if this is a bad destination for me and, most importantly, if this is taking me off track in my faith, and praise God for that and that he has sustained me. So I think this is an important backstory to remember even that happened many years ago, to remember where has God placed and planted me. And in that moment when I matched, I knew in my heart of hearts, no matter what will come, no matter how grueling or difficult it be in terms of work hours, academic politics I had no idea even what that might entail that God had put me here and that he will sustain me, and my entire medical journey is actually a testimony of that. But that was the foundation and the foundational cornerstone. So fast forward.
Speaker 1:I matched at Boston Children's. I started my training in Pizzi Monk there in 2005 and I was an amazing time. And it was also, as I mentioned, long work hours. We were just starting to implement the early work hour regulations and I was a bit his or miss, may I say, but I actually didn't mind so much At the time. I didn't have children, I was just my husband and me, who was also a hard worker in his business. So I wasn't too upset about working long hours. Because what am I here for? I'm here to receive world-class training in pediatric hematology and oncology to serve the patients that I feel called to serve, and that was all fine with me.
Speaker 1:So, as training went on typically in the type of fellowship I was in and perhaps that's very similar for you. But as you go through training, you're really excited in the beginning. You're excited about what's ahead, that you're learning something new and what God has in front of you, but you might also feel a little overwhelmed over time. So early on you have this excitement, energy and you die Friday. But sort of halfway through the first year. This was a three-year training program and the first year is usually in that program was the most grueling in terms of work hours, being on call, responsibilities and just the number of hours we did work per day and the intensity of training based on just being a pediatric oncologist and seeing a lot of devastating things, working hard and having to learn a lot of new things coming out of residency. That was sort of a saying even in our program at the time. They fought apart halfway through.
Speaker 1:We start in July, come back January. Most people are grumpy, bitter, maybe even resentful, and certainly not pleasant to be around, but for some reason I never felt that way. Was I tired? Sure, was it hard? Yes, but I was like, give me more. Like I was so excited to be there and big part is because I knew God wanted me to be there and so nothing really faced me on a deeper level. And I remember there was a nurse practitioner Later I found out she's Christian, but I didn't know that at the time. She came up to me and said Inga, you're amazing, how do you do it? Everybody else is falling apart and you always have this chipper attitude and this just joy and you don't seem to be in distress by this. Usually we see everybody falling apart by January and until June July, they are usually a grumpy mess. But you're not that way and I was like flattered at the moment. But I knew it wasn't me. It wasn't me being so awesome and had all these personal development tools. Maybe that helped me.
Speaker 1:That came actually much later and it was me and my faith that sustained me, because I knew the number one thing God had placed me in this position and I put my complete trust in Him that he will sustain me. And God knows, I saw some terrible, difficult situations. I had to lead end of life discussions, sometimes on my own, because that's just how the day flowed, and my attendings were amazing. Don't get me wrong, I love them dearly. I respect and honor every one of those people that trained me. God bless you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for putting me through that, for showing me what you learned and I just want to pass you and give honor to those people and because they worked hard and they were invested in training me to be the best physician and physician scientist that I could be, and I'm very, very grateful for that.
Speaker 1:So that was a place where I knew that, even when things were really difficult whether it was emotional, because I went through difficult things with my patients you know, young kids, little kids, dying from cancer is hard, especially when you see a lot of it. Giving a new cancer diagnosis to a devastated family is difficult and you have to learn how to do this with the utmost compassion and yet bring truth, yet hope, to that conversation. And then there was just long work hours. I didn't see my husband very much. I saw him late at night when we grabbed dinner and went to sleep. So that was all difficult but God sustained me because every time it was an uphill battle I knew I was there for a reason and God had placed me there, and that is so important.
Speaker 1:When you don't have certainty that you are where God sent you and you haven't clearly heard his voice and you know this is where he wants me, then it will be hard because chances are you are in the wrong space. If you are in the wrong territory, if this is the wrong timing, there will be even more opposition and difficulty, because the Lord isn't blessing this. He will still help you and he will lead you in a different way. But when you are placed by the authority of God to go somewhere, then he will sustain you, even if it looks hard, if it is difficult and even in the times you feel like he's not even there. And there were lonely moments. There were also moments where I had a hard time keeping up with fellowship with the Lord because of this grueling schedule. Yet he sustained me. Praise the Lord, I'm grateful, I'm thankful. So that is a key moment to know that he sustains you and that he is there where he placed you and is there every step of the way.
Speaker 1:So if you're a person right now and you don't feel that and you're like, don't feel God's presence, I don't know how am I going to go on with this work, because either the work environment is difficult or because maybe the hours are difficult or there's tension between colleagues. Know that he sees you and then ask yourself am I still here for the right reason? Is this in God ordained appointments? Or to speak? If not, go, turn to him. He's waiting for you. Go to prayer and wait for his direction. But if it is a God ordained appointment, know that this is a season. He's going to sharpen you, he's going to train you. He's going to equip you and he will need all that training for the assignment he still has for you that you need to fulfill Everything that is in our lives. Training is purposed in God's hands to set you up for an assignment he still has for you and that might look very different in the future than it looks now. So just know that I'm going to look at my notes so I don't get off track.
Speaker 1:So that was really important that I knew my time and season. But you know what? I also knew my time and season when the time passed Now I was there at that position doing my training, doing another training, another fellowship in Heempath and then being on on faculty as an instructor for many years. And I was overall a Boston Children's in the Dana-Farber for 11 years and I'm very honored and blessed that I can't call that my training ground, even though there were many challenges. But there was a season then that I entered ahead. The young kids that brought in new challenges. I talk a lot about that on my other podcast for academic physicians where I share how difficult that journey was, transitioning from being just a young married person without kids to now I have kids and have to juggle more responsibilities and I have different priorities.
Speaker 1:That was a journey to be told another time. But there came a season where I also knew I needed to leave and you know I always went and when I started my training, I went into this training knowing that there will be time to leave, because many training programs are famous for training world-class leaders in their space. Boston Children's is no different. But they also know that there will be a time when you go out and apply their training somewhere else. And I always felt like I'm not going to live here forever. But I then liked it. I built a career, I built a little niche and I actually wanted to stay.
Speaker 1:But that didn't work out and it was very difficult for me for a season of life to live in that tension of not feeling valued for work I did, for maybe not fitting in, maybe not good enough, maybe not the anointed person by the world standards To stay at a prestigious institution, and that is all actually not important, but that went through my head. But there came a time I remember distinctively and I want to tell you the story because I think this will help you how you can hear God. Sometimes we hear God in directions what to do next, through prayer and quiet time and Bible reading and people. But sometimes God really drops in in his spirit and gives you very clear direction. And back then, when this happened to me, this had never happened to me before and I didn't understand what was happening. Now I have a much better understanding, so let me share that story.
Speaker 1:I was on vacation with my family. At that time. I had two young boys very little children and my husband and I went out to dinner on my own. These were the days when we had to trade off dinner because somebody had to watch the kids while they're going to bed or sleeping. So we were in this tropical resort and I went to dinner and I was sitting at my dinner table by myself and I love these times because I gave busy moms like me a time to reflect and be quiet. And in an instant God dropped in my spirit five distinct words that showed me clearly that it was time to leave. I just knew it in my spirit. Now I wrestled with it in the worldly, in the scene world. Maybe my boss doesn't have a position for me? How can I position myself better? How can I negotiate in the physical realm. I was trying to work it out, but and I didn't want to leave on bad terms, neither want to be one of those people that slowly get pushed out the door, which often happens in academic medicine no, I wanted to be the person that left on their own account, and that was exactly what happened.
Speaker 1:The Lord showed me in that moment, sitting there in a tropical resort, eating dinner by myself, having two little kids running around there somewhere with my husband, dropped instantly in my spirit, gave me five directive words that are still important to me today and I'm not going to release them today or share them. These are actually not important, they're very personal, but these five directed words instantly shared with me Inga, this is the season. Your time is no done. I need to go and get sent to somewhere else. You need to go. I'm sending you somewhere else. And in that moment I knew it wasn't like. I guess I have to go. Nobody likes me here anymore. The academic competition is too hard. All true, All things. Real life challenges A lot of my coaching clients and myself struggle with.
Speaker 1:But in that moment I knew this was a word from the Lord and a better obey, so I ran back, dropped my dinner ran back to my hotel room to talk to my husband, and he wasn't a frenzy. He was like oh my goodness, inga, the kids, they're naughty today. I cannot get them to bed. I'm like you, chill here, I must talk to you. I'm going to get the kids to bed and then we talk. And I shared with my husband what happened and both of us were like this is so strange. But he just knew he could tell that I was real and he took it very seriously. And in that moment we knew it is time to shift gears, to go find a new position wherever God is sending me and leave this place. And that was also certainty ahead.
Speaker 1:And it wasn't through reading the Bible, it was something dropped in my spirit in an instant, in the most unexpected time. Now this happens to me a lot more often now, but at the time I did not have the spiritual awareness. I wasn't mature enough in my Christian faith although I had been Christian for a long time to really understand how the Holy Spirit works and I didn't quite grasp what that meant. And that was many years ago, I mean. I knew what it meant but I wasn't like oh, god always speaks to me in this matter. No, this was very unique. Why am I sharing the story? There was time since season for everything.
Speaker 1:God sustains you through your medical career. Make sure you know, when you appointed to a position, whether it's training, whether it's a new job, whether it's a new faculty position, and also know, when he gives you instructions, that this season is now closed and he is sending you to a new place in a new season to equip you even further. You must know that directive, his messaging. You must understand in your spirit what he is talking about, and you only can know that if you stay close to him. That's why I'm talking about read your Bible, stay in prayer, stay in his presence, surround yourself with people that really live their Christian life and faith and especially find other physicians. That's why I've started this podcast, this channel, so that you can surround yourself, get content, get experiences from other people. Just know God sustains you. He is continued to sustain you.
Speaker 1:And just one last story I want to share, and then we close it up. I was very passionate about training other physicians at the time and I just felt called through an instance. A friend of mine, a Christian physician, said hey, we should start prayer for a colleague who was very sick at the time. We did Through that. We found other Christian physicians in our program and nurses and nurse practitioners and we started to come together and gather as a community and again, that was another way. I'm just giving you that another example. The God sustains you also in your local community and that's actually when we started prayer groups.
Speaker 1:When I started leading people in leadership, in Christian leadership, we started a little group where we talked about challenges and medicine and how we can be equipped and it was amazing and very much. I didn't understand at the time that God is going to use that again. That that was part of the equipping that I'm now using to equip others. So I encourage you, if this has encouraged you, I want you to stay tuned because there will be times and seasons when I will release community to you. I think it's great we can talk this way, but I really want to make sure that I feel very passionate because I felt so lost for a while, for a long time, to equip and encourage and disciple and build community around Christian physicians.
Speaker 1:So I want you to stay tuned because I will make announcements about an opportunity where you can join a community of other physicians, christian physicians and medicine to build community discipleship, training and equipping for our very unique positions we are in, so we can change medicine right where we are, be the hands and feet of Jesus and bring his love and his compassion in everything we do. But that needs also internal equipping. I needed a lot of training and a lot of internal cleanup to be able to even speak to you today. Stay tuned for that. There will be more coming other than this content, but again, thank you for watching, thank you for listening. I hope you'll be blessed today Stay tuned for more announcements in joining a community of like minded physicians in the Christian space that want to grow in their faith and integrate that faith very interwoven, very as one unit in Christ in their medical profession.
Speaker 1:That program or that opportunity will come January 22nd, so please stay tuned and I will eventually announce how you can get on a wait list and hear more about this, but for now, mark your calendar January 22nd. Okay? So that is it for today. Thank you so much for tuning in, and see me on the next episode where we will be talking about something else that's really important. With all our medical training, we can get really hyped up about all the awesome training we got, that there might be a risk of putting all that training above God and that happened to me too, and I want to share that with you and what to do instead in the next episode.
Speaker 1:So stay tuned for another episode of Heal the Healers, when we talk about how to put God first in medicine and in our training. Have a blessed day. Bye, bye. My prayer is that you were encouraged, strengthened and perhaps even convicted with this episode today. If this podcast has blessed you, would you help share it with your friends and colleagues and even share it on social media? Also, leave us a review on the podcast platform where you are listening to this content. It would help us a lot. Together, we can share the good news of Jesus and transform medicine, one physician and one patient at a time. Have a great day, god bless.