Kings of The Road
We are two friends who went on a road trip around the United States 20 years ago to serve churches. We kept a journal as we traveled and are reading through the journal and remembering our adventures. Listen and laugh with us as we go back in time and inspire others to go on an adventure.
Kings of The Road
Celebrating 50 Episodes: Road Trip Fiascos, Gator Myths, and Catchphrase Chronicles
Ever wondered how a road trip in a Lazy Days motorhome and a hilarious misreading of "Flo Rida" could make for an unforgettable podcast episode? Join Andrew and me as we celebrate our 50th milestone by reminiscing about our podcasting journey. We also dive into some lighthearted banter about our Wordle addiction and those amusing slip-ups that make life all the more interesting. And don't miss the laugh-out-loud story of a Catchphrase game that solidified my relationship with Emily.
Brace yourself for an adventurous detour as we take you through the swamps of Florida, where our encounters with exotic birds and fearless locals fishing near alligators had us both awestruck and amused. Listen as we humorously dissect the legend of evading gators by zigzagging and draw some unexpected parallels to wartime tactics of the Queen Mary. Just when we thought our journey couldn't get any crazier...
Our adventure takes a chaotic turn when our motorhome is rear-ended, leaving our pooper tank in a precarious state. Picture the fire department cleaning up the mess and a local celebrity named Elio bringing some comic relief amidst the chaos. With the help of a tow truck driver, we managed to salvage the situation and continue our journey, albeit with a newfound wariness of Florida's red fire ants. Tune in next week to see where our travels take us next, but for now, buckle up and enjoy the ride!
Thank you once again for clicking the button, hitting play and getting the sweet, smooth sounds of the Kings of the Road intro. Where you are with me, scott Hawkins, and him, andrew Gare, as we are journeying in a Lazy Days motorhome across the country serving churches, sleeping in Walmart parking lots, overall having a good time. You get to hear this story and you've been with us now for almost 50 episodes, so we appreciate you, appreciate you telling other people about it and looking forward to starting our new Defender State series, which is coming up soon in a couple of episodes. But we are so glad to be together and, andrew, welcome, welcome, welcome.
Speaker 2:Well, thank you. Thanks for having me. It's a real pleasure to be a guest on this podcast today On your podcast inside of our Riverside recording studio.
Speaker 1:Shout out to riverside. Not a sponsor, but we appreciate you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, we appreciate you now that we're 50 episodes in, this is the best platform, right I mean it's better than uh, I mean, it's the only one we know no, we did a clean feed at the beginning.
Speaker 1:Oh, yeah, yeah this is better.
Speaker 2:yeah, because we tried a clean feed at the beginning. Oh yeah, yeah, this is better?
Speaker 1:Yeah, because we tried to Zoom for a little while.
Speaker 2:True, yeah, riverside, we recommend it. If you're getting in the podcast world, go right to Riverside Riversidefm, skip go.
Speaker 1:We've done the work for you. You just need to go right to Riverside, because it is the best, because good quality has all sorts of fun tools, like until this we've never been able to do this, and then now we can. Hey, hey thanks riverside. So we appreciate you. So we're in florida so we're in florida.
Speaker 2:Um we sure are shoot. There was something I was gonna say this is a, this is uh about my life about what? About floridians? No, not about floridians, I don't know what it was it'll come back to me sometime.
Speaker 2:Benefits you know, one time water speaking of different ways to pronounce florida fluoride, yeah, uh, I. I had a, a lady that I knew once and she I had to go down and send her something or go to her house to drop something off. I don't remember what it was, but I looked at her address and I was like Mary, she lives on.
Speaker 1:Flo Rida Street. Flo Space Rida.
Speaker 2:That's what, like my mind just thought, is Flo Rida like the rapper? And Mary just looks at me like that's not even a funny joke and I'm like what do you? What do you mean funny joke? Like she lives on. Oh, she's like you mean florida. And I was like oh, yes, yes, florida, yes, I do, yes, you ever, you ever have that where? Like your brain just sees something a certain way and like you can't realize that like oh, obviously that's wrong do you play wordle?
Speaker 1:sometimes I do like wordle. It's a great game. But there have been times when you're like trying to think it out loud and you're saying the word and you're like chef, chefy, chief, chief. Oh, that is a word, okay yeah, but like you're not.
Speaker 1:You're like you like mess up the vowels and you're practicing other sounds with them and you're seeing this word that any other time you would go oh, that's chief, of course. Yeah, chief, easy, yeah. One time I was driving and Emily we were driving and she was playing the wordle for me, so she was like filling the letters, you know, just to kill some time. And I was like okay, put this in. And then I'm like making up words and saying them out loud and I fully said the, the word, but I just said it a different way and she's listening to me. I think it was that I was like chif and she's like I'm like I just have to, let me go on. And finally it's like oh, she's right, right, right if I could see it.
Speaker 2:It's just so funny, yes your brain gets.
Speaker 1:Your brain gets caught in certain things. That's what's great about that catchphrase game is that your brain gets caught, yeah, you know. And then, like, you're down one path of of that and you can't imagine another way of thinking about the thing, yeah, so it's like um, have I told my catchphrase story on the podcast? I don't know if if have. Do you know it? I've said it to you before.
Speaker 2:I don't know, tell me.
Speaker 1:Okay, this is a. If you're listening with kids, we need to just at least pause it for a moment because you guys can come back in a little bit. But I first met Emily and we went out to dinner and then we went back to her house with her friends to do some games. It was her birthday and we were back at her house and all of her friends were UCLA. They're in frat sororities.
Speaker 1:I'm like you, pastor Scott, right, all I've done is the church since I was 18. So I'm like, oh, not as cool, don't have my fraternity stuff on. And it's me and this other guy and we play catchphrase. Him and I, um, and we're the boys versus the girls. It's like three girls, two guys. So that's how that's how it is, yeah, yeah. So we, we play the game. It's beeping at us and the other guy has it and he's looking at me. He's going scrotum, not jack uh balls. And he's just looking at me, at the eye. He's just repeating these things over and over again and in my head I'm going oh man, there's some cool word for scrotum that I don't know Because I wasn't a fraternity. I don't know any of these things. They never taught me this in youth pastor school.
Speaker 1:Oh whatever, and he just can't get off of it. Right, he's just honed in on that. And then it goes off and he's like oh man, and his girlfriend who was there? She's like dude, what was the word? He's like tea bag and his girlfriend the girlfriend now wife looks at him, goes. You never thought hot water dipping in english breakfast beverage, I know he's like, yeah, straight to, straight to ball sack and the whole, I did feel better.
Speaker 1:Okay. Good, I do know what a t-back is. There's a lot of different ways that he could have gone there, but he got honed in on that one. Oh yeah. I was like, oh, oh man, but that was a moment that I yeah, that, that I just thought yeah, when your brain gets stuck, when you get, yeah, you go down an avenue.
Speaker 2:You don't have reverse why don't you? And then you get mad why don't you get it? Why don't you get it? Everyone does yeah, yeah, hot beverage dipping. Yeah, there's a lot yeah oh my gosh, yeah, you're just like, I'm going a hundred. You gotta admire the person who's like all or nothing, baby. Yes, well, and we're going this good about that, right like you're.
Speaker 1:Just you're there, that's where you are. You can't imagine another thing. Yeah, someone's like, what about this?
Speaker 2:oh, that's, that's a really good other direction actually yeah, yeah, when there's a timer and it's beeping at you, you're just just like oh, this, this, this, this, this.
Speaker 1:I love that game though it's so easy to play. Everyone enjoys it. It's a great game. Yeah, that is a good game. Okay, florida, that is a good game. All right, we're in Florida here.
Speaker 2:So what I had forgotten? That I remembered Scott, I think. Happy anniversary, I think it's been a year now hasn't it did we start? In September.
Speaker 1:I was thinking that too. Yeah, we're close to that. Well, we launched in September, I think. Yeah, because we recorded all summer to the head of it. Now we are not ahead of it anymore. But yeah, I know, I thought the same thing actually. Yeah, we should have a lava cake, I love a lava cake. To the head of it. Now we are not ahead of it anymore.
Speaker 2:But yeah, I know, I thought the same thing, that's right.
Speaker 1:Hey, yeah, we should have a lava cake.
Speaker 2:I love a lava cake yeah.
Speaker 1:I know, I know.
Speaker 2:Hot chocolate on the middle. Just don't let go the whole time, it's only nine seconds.
Speaker 1:Luckily, because if I had chosen this one, this one's 36 seconds.
Speaker 2:Oh, thank you, stop it, stop it. Thank you, we. We appreciate all of your support listeners. Oh my, oh my gosh, I'm overwhelmed. No one can see, okay, all right well where are we in the world? Yeah, we're in florida. We knew that it's day 61. It's saturday, it is November 27th 2004. Another lovely day at the pool. This time we met Rita and my new elder crush, holly it might have been the other way around, I'm not sure At the pool and played some dominoes with them. Nice.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:We did some laundry, played some catch. That's about it. Really, we were just chilling in South Florida and that's it. That's it. That's our Saturday, and that's what a Saturday should be, am I right?
Speaker 1:A Saturday in South Florida?
Speaker 2:Absolutely, that's right Playing dominoes with some attractive older women Doing your laundry, playing a little catch by the pool.
Speaker 1:That does sum it up actually. Yeah, playing dominoes with some attractive older women, there you go.
Speaker 2:There you go, there you go, not ashamed to admit it. Yeah, I was ahead of my time, you were ahead of your time.
Speaker 1:All right you were. When you're 75, you'll be able to circle back and do it again.
Speaker 2:I'm like those were the good old days. So let's move on. Then shall we to day 62. Which, scott? Yes, day 62, sunday 11-28-04. One of the most Was that, your stomach.
Speaker 1:Oh, really, you heard that. It's that that was inside my stomach. Yes, wow, your microphone is amazing, I guess, so I need to turn the gain down.
Speaker 2:I wonder if that's going to come across.
Speaker 1:I just heard like this dinosaur in the distance yes, I'm like, don't worry, they just eat plants. What? That was 100% my stomach. Well, done. That was amazing hyper x for another thing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'd also like to thank my sponsor, sony noise canceling headphones, for the amazing sound delivered straight into my brain, straight into your brain, that you can never my goodness um. So today was an extra, it was a, it was pivotal day, a turning point in the road trip. We knew this day was coming. We knew this day was coming Some might say this is the reason, or part of the reason, for our feelings towards Florida Sure maybe Probably Probably it taints it.
Speaker 1:It definitely yeah, oh, it's really.
Speaker 2:You're in for free today Was taint a word that the guy used to try to describe a teabag. Sorry if your children were tuned back in, apologies for that word. Oh gosh, that's a weird dirty word.
Speaker 1:That's a weird word.
Speaker 2:All right, here's what we're going to do, scott. Okay, I'm going to read a little bit, okay, and then we're going to do some. What Do you Remember?
Speaker 1:Okay, and then we're going to do some. What Do you Remember? And then we're going to finish it out.
Speaker 2:Yeah, okay, hit me All right. As lovely as it was at Steve and Janet's, it was time to get back on the road. Steve and Janet drove us down to the storage yard where our coach was waiting, and they saw us off Because, if you remember, our coach was not allowed in their community because it was not deemed attractive enough.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I don't know, it's not allowed.
Speaker 2:We headed down south and east in order to make it to our destination, Fiesta Key. Oh, I was ready.
Speaker 1:I was pumped about this. I know this was okay, keep breathing. I was pumped, man.
Speaker 2:We were- going to go to the Keys. We were so pumped, yeah, so ready.
Speaker 1:so this was okay. Keep reading. I was pumped, man. We're going to go to the keys we had. Yeah, so ready, so ready.
Speaker 2:The road to get there goes right through the Everglades of Southern Florida. We saw tons of interesting birds but I wasn't seeing any gators. That changed soon enough to where every minute or so, I would see another. I feel like I remember just gator gator and we'd point him out. Um, there was water surrounding the road we were on, like a small river or a canal on the brushy banks or where the gators sat sunbathing and it was just so cool. It was crazy because people would be fishing on the banks in these waters, not worried, yeah, and, and some were no more than 20 yards from these gators, like there were people out there, just fishing gators all around them, and like it was no big deal, they were just we we were very afraid of the gators, but they were.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, they were not, I'm like they must. I guess when you're on land you're pretty safe, cause it can't run that fast, or still, I don't know.
Speaker 1:That's right. I, what's the one? Fast know about evading the gator running zigzags yes. Does everybody know this, or is it just because?
Speaker 2:we've both been to gator land and did we learn it?
Speaker 1:Well, yeah, they want to fall. That's my only still set I have. Yeah. And how far my zits at like? Probably five, eight yards, and then left and then five, eight, I don't know. I want to be sure they're far enough. I don't have the gator to go the straight line between the zigs yeah, I don't know, I didn't ever hear that bit of detail.
Speaker 2:I just I heard run in a zigzag and I'm like it'll fit, like a two-step zigzag.
Speaker 1:It's not gonna be helpful. Going to be helpful, I mean, you need to do it. That's what I've always thought. Okay, I need like at least 10 yards that way and then 10 yards that way, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:Funny enough, I heard a story once while doing a visit on the Queen Mary, yeah, which was painted gray and called the Gray Ghost, during World War II, transporting people back and forth or was it world war one anyways to crossing the atlantic during a, yeah, okay, yeah, it was built in the 30s, I think, so one of the things that it would do to evade being hit by enemy torpedoes is it?
Speaker 2:would zigzag across the atlantic, oh man, and for some reason that was a way to avoid being hit. I would think that would almost make it easier to hit you well, not easier, but I think the same thing.
Speaker 1:So I was like you're going that, oh wait, oh darn.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, got it. Somebody wasn't like what if we just wait till they turn back this direction?
Speaker 1:No, they're kind of right, you're just in Germany brave people.
Speaker 2:We also saw sites that said watch for, oh yeah, panthers, yes, panther crossing, panther crossing, it was an odd place, but it is florida, all right, we had a bet didn't we?
Speaker 1:well, this is the thing where you looked at me and you said if we see a panther crossing the road, I will take my pants off above my head and swing them around. You know, panther? Yeah, and we never did see a panther crossing the road. I will take my pants off above my head and swing them around. You know, panther? Yeah, and we never did see a panther. But also, I think since then, we both have learned that, um, all of the north american large cats are the same, with just different names, and this makes the makes it less sexy, because a panther, a puma, a cougar, a mountain lion, and uh, what's the other one? Like a meerkat? No, it's not a meerkat, it's a funny name in virginia. Um, but they're all the same thing, they just have different names. Yeah, and so, like, if it's a mountain lion crossing, it'd be like, oh, what's a mountain lion doing in the jungle? But we thought like baloo or whichever, with the black panther from jungle book was.
Speaker 2:That's what we had in our brain, which is a different, thing, the totally different.
Speaker 1:thing.
Speaker 2:Well, I mean, it was a yellow sign with a picture of a black Panther.
Speaker 1:You're right, you saying they just have one color, and so I think maybe it wasn't.
Speaker 2:Maybe it was.
Speaker 1:Brown. You think it was Brown, I do. I think it's exactly like a mountain lion.
Speaker 2:That's what I mean. I think it's just like I don't know. They're just all the same. They're all the same. Panther yeah, the ones in florida, though. They wear like wife beater tank tops and chains. Yeah, smoke crystal meth, yeah for sure um. We did not see any panthers. However, panthers may have seen us.
Speaker 1:That's a good point.
Speaker 2:Well done, sir Stealthy cats they are.
Speaker 1:I'm on my game today.
Speaker 2:We're taping in front of a live studio audience today. Speaking of panthers, I think my tiny panther just opened the door behind me.
Speaker 1:It did.
Speaker 2:She's a smart little panther Figured that out. So we made it through the swamp and saw no Panthers, unfortunately, but we did see dozens of Gators. The road took us past Miami and onto us one, the other one which leads to the keys. The other one, or is it us, I, I don't know, no one knows the other one, or is it USI? I don't know, no one knows, probably one. The first of the Keys is called Key Largo, and we nearly made it there, Almost did, but suddenly traffic stopped.
Speaker 1:What do you remember? All?
Speaker 2:right scott.
Speaker 1:So I'm driving and you're in the passenger seat and, yes, I am going. And we're so excited, we're in our board shorts and our flip-flops. We are ready to go, we are ready to experience the teas. We only have one night planned.
Speaker 2:Key Largo.
Speaker 1:We'll get down there.
Speaker 2:Key Summit.
Speaker 1:Ooh, I want a ticket, but I don't have a ticket, but we never made it because I turned the corner. Traffic light or brake lights yeah, all sorts of brake lights, and I'm not going unreasonably fast, I'm going at a normal speed and I see them all and I immediately jam on the brakes. Remember, this is the one. So it's only two roads, one going one way, one going the other way.
Speaker 2:Two lanes, two lanes, yes, stop.
Speaker 1:There's enough time to stop. And I look over to you and I might say something like whew, that was close. And as those come out of my mouth, may I just interject for a moment, sir Scott.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, when you slam on the brakes in a motorhome, oh, imagine slamming on the brakes in your house.
Speaker 1:Yes, kitchen cabinets, cutlery, anything that isn't like weighted down Doors are flying open Cabinet doors are flying open Like you don't just slam on the brakes. Luckily you're not sleeping in the upper bunk, or else that would have been a whole other experience. I would have shot right out the front of the cab Slam on the brakes, I look over to you.
Speaker 1:Oh, that was close. At that point we hear crash and then we feel a boom and we're like uh-oh, what just happened? And we pull over Shorts, flip-flops, we're ready. We're so ready and there are one car slammed into another car which pushed that car into our motorhome, and we're looking around, around and there is blue water everywhere that we are stepping in with our flip-flops.
Speaker 1:On the road, not like the ocean around us, but on the road and you and I are both pretty good with cars and we know enough and we're kind of pondering, like what is blue in a car? It's not radiator fluid, it's not oil, it's certainly not oil yeah, we.
Speaker 1:We were thinking, oh, maybe there's blue radiator fluid, but then it was like a lot of it, though there's a lot, something popped, what, and I feel like it was pretty close to the same time that you and I both realized oh no, the car that got pushed underneath us, the back tank of our motorhome is our pooper tank and it was small enough and went right up under our motorhome, hit our pooper tank, our motorhome hit our pooper tank and our pooper tank which had been sitting in front of Janet and Uncle Steve's storage locker.
Speaker 1:it exploded all over Highway 1. And the car that hit it and the absolute certainty of what we were seeing was when we saw all the little white toilet paper bundles.
Speaker 2:Yeah, what are all these little white clumps?
Speaker 1:Clumps in this car's fluid and we both go. We're walking in flip-flops in our pooper tank water, which is now all over the freeway, and we stand there and the tow truck comes, the paramedics come, everyone shows up, the whole, all of T Largo shows up.
Speaker 2:Yeah, okay, grant, this is a road that is like the road from the mainland Florida to the Keys and we've stopped it now and we've stopped it. It is one of the lanes of the two is done is, there's nowhere to pull off.
Speaker 1:So we pull off and while we're standing there in our flip-flops, pondering, wondering what's going on, realize we've been hit, realizing our pooper tank is all over I don't remember which one, you or I we start to get a tingling, tingling sensation somewhere ankle and below. And I don't remember who it was. If it was you or I would see if it's in the, if it's in the notes. Yeah, we look and we're talking to somebody who is a local resident. I feel like she's a tow truck driver, I feel like it's a woman at this point and like what's going on, what's happening?
Speaker 2:same lady from banger maine is now. Is the tow truck?
Speaker 1:yeah, and we know what is going on what's happening and somehow, I think, she tells us like oh, you're standing in a pile of fire ants yes, fire ants biting our feet. I'm pretty sure it was both of us. I know it was at least me.
Speaker 2:Oh, I remember vividly.
Speaker 1:And, guys, if you haven't been bit by a fire ant it's not like just when they use the word fire ant, it is because it feels like you have been bitten by the devil himself has entered your body. It is shockingly painful. I mean, do you remember how like? It's not just like, oh, irritating, oh mosquito bite, oh no, it's like what in the devil is going on in my feet?
Speaker 2:right now.
Speaker 1:And they were all over. So not only do we have the blue water to avoid, we have the fire ants that we're looking to avoid, and so we go inside and change into our shoes Immediately Socks and shoes Immediately Socks and shoes Cover up yeah. Immediately Socks and shoes. Immediately Socks and shoes cover up yeah. So now I want you to add things, because there's still one very important piece. I don't remember, but parts of it. Okay, when are you at right now? What do you want to add into your memoir?
Speaker 2:Well, I don't, I know what you're thinking and I don't want to steal that thunder.
Speaker 1:You can yes.
Speaker 2:Yes, this is the scenario. We hear it. Traffic stops, screech Boom Boom, car gets pushed into us. So the car in the middle is crunched, got hit in the back.
Speaker 1:Yeah, accordion style.
Speaker 2:Yeah and pushed into us. Their front's all jacked up. Our pooper tank is dangling off the back of the motorhome. It's not completely knocked off, it's like the tube that connects it from the toilet to the tank is like still holding it on. But like half of it's on the ground, half of it's not, so we can't drive the motorhome. No, we, just we got to the side of the road, we can't go anywhere we got it off to the side of the road.
Speaker 2:Yeah, tow truck shows up, fire ants show up, fire ants show up. We're, we're changed. There's like go for it because, because it's so, you gotta do it.
Speaker 1:The fire department comes and the fire department figures out and we're, we got figured out by the fire department goes, uh, parental warning, remember, these are firemen who say this. They look to each other and they say their shitter tank gets bloated all over the freeway and they spray down the whole road and let all that go off Meanwhile. And I do not remember his name, but I really. What's his name? Give me his name.
Speaker 2:Let me see if I.
Speaker 1:You had to have written it down.
Speaker 2:Yeah, give me a second, keep going, I'll.
Speaker 1:I'll read through the guy who was in the first car, who hit the middle car that hit us. He is like it feels to us like a key celebrity because, oh, yeah everyone who drives by knows this guy and they like see him.
Speaker 1:And they're like, hey, and he's like, hey, man, they're like you hit someone else. He's like, yeah, hit. And they're just chatting as everyone's driving by and we're like who is this guy? Who everyone knows? He immediately lights up a cigar standing on the side of the road elio, elio lights up a cigar, everybody honk, honk, hey, hey, hey yeah, just waving at everybody.
Speaker 2:Yeah, fire department's doing their thing. Pulls out a cigar, lights it up in the middle of a traffic accident scene, high-fiving people as they go by like, hey, another one, yes, what else?
Speaker 1:and he's just laughing, he's having a great time. Just like that's life in the t's. This is life in the t's. The fire department, though, just pissed at him. They're like put that thing out. We don't know if there's gas spill, we don't know what's going on. Like we have a motorhome, could be propane, like dude. Yeah, he's like oh, and he puts on his cigar. I don't even think he put it out.
Speaker 1:I think he just flicked it into the bushes I'm done with you and and we're just so we're. We have elio there, fine, he's fine, he thinks everything's fine. I think wasn't he like trying to put.
Speaker 2:I think he asked us like hey, help me pull out my hood. He's like I think it's fine. It's fine. So like we went over and we helped him, like pull his hood out so that like he could get it shut enough so that he could drive his car. I'm just not going to drive.
Speaker 1:I'm going to be fine. This is my third accident this week. We're good. Just push it down a little bit. And the middle car I think that was a woman, maybe it was two. Yeah, she was not happy about this at all. She was not used to being hit, nor would I. It was scary for her probably.
Speaker 2:She tank exploded all over her. She's imagine that. Imagine that it's like going down tidal wave at magic mountain back in the 90s, like just she's thinking blue water cascading over your windshield, she's the upper windows, what's?
Speaker 1:happened? Is this heaven blue blue coming?
Speaker 1:at me is this the light of which I see oh, it's their pooper tank, it's exploding all over your car. Great, hopefully her windows were open. Oh, never thought that's what I'm saying. Yeah, I know it's like oh man, sorry, lady, right, sorry about that. We're stuck with Elio. And then we don't know what to do at this point. But we do have tools, we do have tools, we do have tools. And so we say to the tow truck driver if we saws all off our bumper and our pooper tank, would you take it for us? And so we can figure out what to do.
Speaker 1:And he's like is there yeah, do you say something like I can't do the work for you, but if you put it on my truck it'll go away it was sort of like a wink and a nod because they were putting the middle car on a flatbed and we're like, yeah, if we and he goes.
Speaker 2:Yeah, he was like, if it ends up on the truck, I'll take it away. You know something along those lines and we're like get to work, and so we immediately got the saw and the hammers out and we're just like cutting the back half of the motorhome off, cutting the bumpers off. Yeah, I'm like we got to be able to drive away, yeah.
Speaker 1:Yes, yeah, I'm like we got to be able to drive away. Yes, because luckily and this truly is you think about it is lucky. As bad as that was, it could have been so much worse Because we did all the work that needed to be done so we could drive away without a problem, where I mean, if it had been like a truck, it could have smashed in, it could have hit higher, it went low and took out a bumper and our poop were changed. But if it had been something higher that pushed in the whole back, yeah, who knows right so it wasn't that fast.
Speaker 1:I mean to be fair, it wasn't like going who knows. But again it was right, so much better because we took care of it and saws. All in quick time we got that off, we had that on truck. We're like, okay, we at least can drive now. And the police department, the police officers, are like okay, took our statements, everyone's good, everyone's safe. Trauma Elio's great, he's fine.
Speaker 2:Oh, he's probably been in so many accidents since then. Just that's what he does, yeah.
Speaker 1:Oh my goodness, let's read it, let's hear the original first. That's pretty good that.
Speaker 2:That's how I remember it too, but let's, let's see how it goes. According to the official record here, scott had to hit the brakes pretty hard and we stopped on time, but something felt very wrong. We heard a screech and then a boom, and then, fractions of a second later, we felt a jolt that shoved us forward in our seats. Scott pulled over and we got out to see what had happened. In all honesty, I was a little angry because I didn't want to be hit, would you? When I walked back, I saw a silver Hyundai that had been absolutely destroyed. The front was crumpled up and the hood that had been thrust into the wind. Oh, the hood had been thrust into the windshield. Look like creased paper. The back of the car had been hit so hard that one of the wheels was bent inward. Oh man, beyond the silver car was the green Accord that caused the accident. So it was a.
Speaker 2:Honda yeah, green Honda Accord. The front had some serious damage and the radiator looked like a taco shell, but it wasn't nearly as bad as the middle car. We noticed tons of blue fluid on the road and thought that car sure leaked a lot of fluid. It took us a second to realize that fluid didn't come from that car but a long gray tank that lay on the highway next to it. It was our pooper tank and all of its contents had been spilled onto the highway. Luckily, that blue chemical stuff works really well, so I don't think anybody realized what it was. Well, the firemen knew what it was and they hosed it down pretty quick. Of course, the fellow that caused the accident spoke no English and he had come up to Scott shouting and using gestures as if to say we had caused the accident. Oh, I don't remember that. Scott kept telling him he didn't understand him, so he backed off soon enough. Lesson learned, kids If you're ever in an accident and somebody's yelling at you, just say I don't understand you, I don't understand you, he'll go away.
Speaker 1:You have very good English. For not understanding English. Yeah, I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand a word.
Speaker 2:you're saying I'm speaking English, I'm not understanding you. I do not understand any words. These are the only words I know. Miraculously, nobody seemed to be injured too bad. There was only one lady in the middle car and she only had some cuts on her hand. Where?
Speaker 2:the glass from the windshield hit her. Our Spanish-speaking pal was okay and his wife was just shook up a bit. Oh, I didn't realize Elio's wife was in the car. I guess we assumed it was her wife. Do I didn't realize Elio's wife was in the car? I guess we assumed it was her wife. Do we know for sure? We don't know, of course not. We like to call the causer of the accident Elio. His name is something like that. Oh, I guess we made that up. He was an interesting guy. Since we were all just standing around, he decided to light up a stogie. The fire department didn't like that much. He also thought his car was drivable, so he asked us to help him pry the hood open so he could get it running. And out of nowhere, about 10 of his friends and family members show up to join in the party.
Speaker 1:We took the party by the side of the road.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So yeah, I think that we forgot to to mention that, but I think he actually had people come by that knew him to help him get his car back roadworthy again that does sound familiar, so I guess maybe what I've translated into my mind like everyone knows him was like the fact that a whole slew of people showed up.
Speaker 1:Yes, he's from the t's, he's a t guy. Oh yeah.
Speaker 2:Oh, we were ready we were ready, you gotta. You gotta love community right I mean, oh hey my buddy, ilio or something similar to that, just got an accident.
Speaker 2:Let's all stop what we're doing and help him get back to the party. Uh well, the party was over for us. As we were standing on the side of the road in our flip-flops, we were attacked by red fire ants. These pests would crawl up onto our feet and then actually bite us. Florida sucks I. I smacked one off me and it had bit me so hard I was bleeding from it. No, they're bad dude, they're bad brand to put shoes on. But that didn't even help too much. I must have stepped on one of the anthills, because those little bastards got all over my shoes and ankle.
Speaker 2:Oh my gosh, those were the worst. Oh those were terrible. The motorhome seemed to be fine to drive. It just had no waist tank or bumper. Well, it did, but some wrenches and saws all took care of that.
Speaker 2:We asked the highway patrol officer if we could do the surgery to get it drivable. He said sure, and I like you guys. So we ripped off the bumper, the gray water tank and the sub frame that used to hold it all together. There was no need to cut off the pooper tank, since it had already been ripped off by the accident. We threw all that crap on the wrecker truck and got back on the road. We made it to Key Largo, but only to turn around and go back to Janet's With no toilet or shower. The lazy days was greatly crippled. Walmart's had become a thing of the past.
Speaker 1:I don't have a good sense.
Speaker 2:Is there not a let's see what Transition 5?
Speaker 1:is. Let's just hear what it is. No, that's not it, that's not right.
Speaker 2:The Lazy Days was the Walmart's were a thing of the past. Do it again. No, that's not it, that's not right. The Lazy Days was the Walmarts were a thing of the past. Do it again, okay. No, you had to be. You shouldn't have said anything. Okay, we're going to try this again. Lazy Days oh, get ready, go. Walmarts had become a thing of the past. Too slow still.
Speaker 1:Too slow, too slow, still too slow.
Speaker 2:Okay, the button clicked to actually all right, there's a little one that I want. Um, oh yeah, I was filled with so much hope and excitement and anticipation, I've still never have you.
Speaker 1:No, you haven't either. No, no, I've never been to the cheese, never been back to miami key largo, jamaica.
Speaker 2:I've never been to the Keys. I've never been back to Miami, key Largo, jamaica. Come I'm gonna take you to the hideaway.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's a great story.
Speaker 2:Thanks a lot, Elio it's a lot.
Speaker 1:You're still around, Elio Sedars have taken you out of your wife or somebody else. We still remember you.
Speaker 2:The poor motor home. What a dick. Took it in the pooper tank. I wish I hadn't said that.
Speaker 1:This whole episode is a start to another episode. This is maybe our one adult only episode. Oh yeah, this is not one for the kids. This could be it. Oh boy, well, everybody. Now you know why we think oh yeah, this is not one for the kids this could be it oh boy Well everybody.
Speaker 2:Now you know why we think. Florida sucks.
Speaker 1:Well, you just I mean you made a quick turn from your crush on the old ladies to Florida sucks Right Like in one day, 24 hours. Yeah, it's all gone.
Speaker 2:Lounging by the pool, playing dominoes with some fine elder foxes.
Speaker 1:Dude, red Fire Ants, you're all done. Next week we will tell you about what happens after that, but as of right now, we'll see you on the flip side. See y'all. That's pretty good that, wuffy.