Episode #021 How To Make Your Marriage Great!

Well, thanks for joining me again today at the Truly a Masterpiece Podcast. I'm thrilled beyond words to be with you today. We're right here at Valentine's Day. And so love is in the air, but even more importantly for me and for my wife, on February 15th, we're celebrating our 50th wedding anniversary. I want to give you five choices that will help you make your marriage great. This is a great topic for me because I know this is something that matters to you. You want to make a marriage great. In this episode, I'll share five choices to make your marriage great.

Check out: Craig Walker Coaching

Sign up for the free workshop: Rethink

Connect with Craig  @CraigWalkerCaoching
Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/craigwalkercoaching
Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/craigwalkercoaching
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/craig-walker-1816367/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@craig.walker.coach
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@craigwalker9197

Get a copy of Craig's Book SHAMELESS The Life You Were Born to Love https://amzn.to/44vldsQ

Join the Masterpiece Brotherhood Men's Group: https://craigwalkercoaching.com/brotherhood

Transcript

Well, thanks for joining me again today at the Trudy Masterpiece Podcast. I'm thrilled beyond words to be with you today. I'll tell you why in just a second. We're right here at Valentine's Day. And so love is in the air, but even more importantly for me and for my wife, on February the 15th, we're celebrating our 50th wedding anniversary. A pause, yes. That's an accomplishment. I know it is. We met when she was 14. I was just 15.(...) And we got married when she was 17 and I was 19.

(...)

I jokingly tell everybody that I had to sign her note to get her back in school after we got back from her honeymoon, which it is a joke. She graduated at midterm and then we got married. We really have grown up together. Well, today I'm thrilled to be on this podcast to tell you how to make your marriage great. That's what I want to talk to you about.(...) And specifically, I want to give you five choices that will help you make your marriage great. This is a great topic for me because I know this is something that matters to you. You want to make a marriage great.

(...)

I tell everybody it's part of my testimony. I didn't get married to have a good marriage. You know, if someone were to say, "Craig, what's your marriage like?" I would, you know, I don't want to say, "Well, it's okay. It's good. It's good."(...) No one got married for a good marriage. And I told everyone, "I got married because I wanted a great marriage." Well, my problem was after I'd been married for five years, I knew if someone were to ask me, "How's your marriage?" I'd have said, "It's good." And I did. I had a good marriage. But again, I didn't get married for a good marriage. I wanted a great marriage. And so I had to pivot. I had to learn some things. And there was a decision that I made to trust Christ that changed everything. And that's not even going to be one of the five things I tell you today. I'm assuming you know Jesus Christ needs to be the Lord of your life. But I am going to tell you some other things that were pivotal to me that made our marriage great. Some of those choices we made before we got married.

(...)

So before I jump into it, let me just set it up by telling you the backstory where I came up with some of these things. And some of these ideas I'm going to share with you today were decisions we made before we got married. I worked at an auto body repair shop.

that were in that shop, none of them were happily married. And they were in their late 20s to early 40s, maybe early 50s, and not a happily married guy in a bunch.(...) My body shop, the body shop I worked at, was next door to Murray State University in Murray, Kentucky. And in springtime when those girls were in their halter tops and their short shorts, and they'd come, college girls come walking by out of that campus. It's not like a zoo in there. The guy is just going off on these women. And I thought, man, are none of these men happily married?(...) And when I got engaged,(...) they took it upon themselves to let the floodgates open and to tell me every bad joke about marriage. Well, they kind of got in my head and they scared me.(...) And they made me start to think that if their marriage was all that bad, gosh, what do I need to do to have a great marriage?

(...)

And one of the guys came to me, and this was kind of a tipping point, one of the guys came to me, his name was Phil. And Phil said

And I said, yeah, that's what they called me. And I said, kid, you know, we talk about marriage a lot. And he said, you get the idea that we don't think marriage is a good thing. And he said, let me just tell you, he said, kid, he said, I think marriage is a fine institution. He put on his Andy Griffith voice for me. And marriage is a fine institution.

(...)

And then he just paused and looked at me. I knew the other shoe was about ready to drop. And he just threw his head back and laughed so hard, slapped me on the knee and said, but who in the world wants to be in an institution?(...) And that was it. So that night everybody else went home and I stayed at work and I got a legal pad, sat down in the office, and I began to write down non-negotiables. If these aren't in my marriage, there's no way I can be happy in it. And I don't want to get involved in it. And after I finished my list up, whole legal pad was full. I called my fiance and said, Debbie, we've got to talk. We're getting ready to get married. And I'm just concerned. I'm worried that we're not on the same page and I want to make sure we are. And so I had this long list made up and most of those things we'd never really kept and they weren't non-negotiables. I just I was afraid they were. And so I wrote them down anyway. Like I should be able to go hunting and fishing anytime I want. You'll never complain about my friends and I'll spend my time on all those bad things. But I got through this list and you know, she passed and I said, OK, then we'll get married. I'll say I do. And I did. And we've been saying I do ever since that time. But there were some things on that list that were good, things that that helped to make our marriage great. So I'm going to give you some of those things.(...) And then we'll save the very best, the very best one for last. And because it was the last decision I made that made our marriage great. And this is what I'm most excited about. The Os are good. You need them. That one's the best. And so stay with me till the end and you're going to love it all. All right.

(...)

That's the setup. Let's jump into it. Here are five decisions that you can make that will make your marriage great. I think the very first decision you can make was the number one thing on my checklist. And that is that we would choose to figure it out rather than taking away out. No divorce. That was it. That was what I wrote on my sheet. No divorce. It's just not an option for us.

(...)

And I think it's one of the best decisions we ever made because I know I know me. I know her. And especially looking back on all of our our fights and arguments and disappointments and disagreements. We wouldn't be here today. We would not have made 50 years. Have we not made this decision that divorce is not an option. We will figure it out. We will not look for a way out. And because we made that decision we've learned a lot of things and we figured out some things. And it just helped us to build a great marriage. It was just as a foundational decision. You know Debbie and I have never been separated. Never. And they're in our entire marriage. Now one time we almost got separated.

(...)

We've been married about a year maybe two years. And we were in an argument and I just got mad. And I told if that's the way you think about it just get out of here. Now this was right in the middle of a snowstorm of blizzard. It's actually a blizzard in Anderson Indiana. That's where we were living when we got married.(...) And well after we got married we moved back to Anderson Indiana. I was living in Kentucky and it's right in the middle of a blizzard snowstorm. And I get mad and I kick her out of the house. Now this is right about bedtime and she's got on her pajamas and she puts on her winter coat steps in her boots and bam out the door she went. And as she went off the door late at night I'm thinking why stupid. I can't believe she did that. And I was so mad at her. And so I just let her go for a minute and then I just put on my boots and coat. I actually stepped out the door started yelling. Debbie Debbie. All my neighbors are probably hearing me thinking what's that fool yelling for. And she didn't come back.

(...)

The door was open. I came back inside and now I've got to put my boots and coat on. And so I do that and I turn to go back out to the door. And as I do she just kind of pushed the door open and there she was. She was behind the door. She never left. I don't know how she pulled that trick off. I thought she went off the door but she just hid behind the door. And she saw me. She saw me go out yelling. She saw me come in and put my coats and boots on and head back out again. And she's dying laughing. She's laughing her head off at me. And well by that time my anger had subsided. And all I could do was laugh at myself. And that's the only time that we've ever almost been separated and we never have. And can I just tell you real quick who needs to make this decision.(...) First just obviously everybody's married. But it's everybody that's married that hasn't really thought about it. You made your vows.

(...)

You said yes I take you to be my lawfully wedded wife to hold to cherish forsaking all others to for richer for poor for sickness and death or in sickness and in health till only in death do we part. And you made that that was a vow.

(...)

Have you ever thought about that. That was a vow. That was a commitment you made before your spouse your friends your witnesses to God.

(...)

God takes that seriously and what he joined together he said I don't let any man separate. And so because we live in a culture that says yeah I'll make that commitment but if it doesn't work then I'll get out.

(...)

I think everyone is married that hadn't thought about it. You need to remove then I'll get out.(...) I will not look for a way out. I will. I will try to figure it out. We will figure it out. It's the greatest decision you can make and you will figure it out. You will get better and better because you made a decision. So everybody's not made it. You need to make it now. But here's the second group I was thinking about you when I was thinking about this talk and that is that everyone who's married and gotten divorced.

(...)

You know one day you may get remarried God willing if that is God is willing then fine you get remarried and you need to make that your last marriage.(...) For some of you you're married and you're in your second third maybe your fourth marriage maybe your fifth I don't know how many times you've been married but however many times it is it needs to be your last marriage. It's the marriage that you make last and it will be if you will choose to figure it out rather than to take away out. It just changes everything.(...) I want to say one more thing. I know that I'm talking to a couple of people right now and they're listening this. There are some of you who just you're you're on the verge you're ready to go. You're like I've had it. Just just understand this God is for you. He wants your marriage to work and fuel turn. You will seek him with all your heart. He will. He will give you the grace to stay in it. He will. And if you stay I think you'll figure out what it takes to make a great marriage. And so let me just ask you figure it out. Don't get out. That's first I want to talk to you in that group but I also want to talk to you about remember I said those that divorce been remarried or remarried.(...) What happens is because we know what God is joined together let no man separate.

(...)

You can read your Bible and most of us have and we understand that there are just just a few reasons God allows divorce really only one.(...) Well I should say there's probably two. First of all if there's an adulterous relationship adultery God allows for divorce and even then he doesn't require it. He's allow it what God joined let no man separate and from the beginning it was never intended for divorce. That's what Jesus said. And so but if you are divorced and for that reason then and you know remarried then don't accept the load of guilt that you you did find a way out. And God say hey I understand and I give you that. There's another time that God allows for divorce and that's if you're married to an unbeliever and they just won't stay with you. They want to go. There's nothing you can do about it. God said let them go and you're not bound to them any longer. And so I think that God has given you freedom in those situations beyond those times. I just don't know another one. I can say you can make a case if if you're being abused if there's physical abuse then you need to get out of that. I do think that's this there's a case for getting out and divorce. I don't think there's a case for remarriage and that but there is a case for divorce. So here's what I'm saying to you. If you've gotten a divorce and for any reason other than what God allowed and you're remarried then inside intuitively because the Holy Spirit Spirit of truth is telling you what you did was wrong.(...) Don't try to rationalize it. Don't try to explain it away or make excuses over it. Just say God you know what I did was wrong.

(...)

Would you forgive me? And now Lord help this marriage that I'm in now to be my last marriage the one that lasts.(...) And so that's it. And when you pray that when you ask God that receive his forgiveness.(...) Don't let it be a wait on you any longer. If you're divorced for the wrong reason even that just tell God I'm sorry. I shouldn't have. Please forgive me.

(...)

And he does and he restores you and he's in this marriage the one you're in now to help you make it last. So first thing I'm challenging to do today is just to choose to figure it out instead of finding a way out. And that's it. If I promise you if Debbie and I had not made that decision we wouldn't be celebrating 50 years and I promise you this I would not be able to tell you how to have a great marriage. I wouldn't have learned those lessons. So that's number one. Here's the second choice I'm going to ask you to make and that's to choose us over them. This is huge.

(...)

Who is us? Well us is you and your spouse you and your wife you and your husband. That's the us choose us over them. Now them it's often the children.(...) That's who often it often is. You get married and everything is great. You have kids and that's when rocky times come.(...) And the wife sometimes the husband often the wife chooses the children. I'm going to take care of my children. I'm going to be that nurturing mother and they become first and primary in my life and the other person just kind of feels left out. That shouldn't happen. Sometimes it's parents. You didn't leave and cleave. The scripture says for this reason you shall leave your father and your mother and be joined to your spouse.

(...)

Friends. It could be your work. It could be a lot of things that becomes us or it becomes them over us. I'm just saying choose us over them. That's just God's way. That's what God is asking you to do. Now when I say leave and cleave it doesn't mean don't associate with. It means don't make them your primary concern anymore.(...) The person you're married to the us that becomes your primary focus. The one you want to please more than anyone else. So they're their first priority for you. And there's some things that if their first priority that you can do that it's just going to demonstrate it. You'll never make jokes about them.(...) And certainly you'll never make jokes about them in front of the other person or in front of other people. You know when you do that you talk about how bad her cooking is and I've done it. I talked about my wife's biscuits when we first got married. Walker women make great biscuits and so my wife learned to make biscuits and the first time she made them. Nobody can eat them. The dogs wouldn't even eat them. And I used them for target practice and they were good ones because you could shoot them. They wouldn't even explode. And I made jokes about that as a newlywed. Now today we can laugh about it and I can tell you on this podcast but probably early on would have hurt her feelings.

(...)

And so you don't want to do that. You don't want to hurt or wound the one you love. That doesn't make any sense. You know what happens when you joke about your spouse and everybody laughs and they generally will. If you're with a discerning wise group they'll feel a little uneasiness. They're not going to laugh hard. They'll be a little nervous last because they know you're damaging your relationship. And remember even though the other person your spouse laughs on the inside they're hurt. Stop wounding the one you love and tell them you're first in my life and I just won't do things like that.

(...)

You know we communicate in order. You know you don't have to call your mom and dad when you're running late once you get married but you do need to call your wife. You need to call your husband and say look I'm sorry I said I'd be home at this time but it's going to be this time and be truthful and tell them just to communicate. That's just that's that's just respect. That's just a smart thing to do. It builds strength and value into that relationship. Ask permission to spend time with your friends. Some of you don't like this one. You don't ask permission. Well I'm married. I can do what I want. I'm an adult. No. When you are an adult and you are married and because you're married you do need to get each other's permission to do things. It's just it's just a wise thing to do. Date regularly. Did you know that Debbie and I have dated for 50 years now even as an unbeliever. I loved her. So before we had kids we dated. After we had kids we just figured out a way to keep on dating and we did.(...) And it's just made our marriage marriage our marriage great. So I encourage you keep up the things that tell the other person that you're really important to me. By the way here's something else you can do. When you're off you know you're you're upset you're mad something at work happened or another relationship and you're just upset and you come home and you're being quiet and you know what's happened. Your wife or your husband they're thinking. What did I do now. That's what they think. An old pastor told me one time he said what you don't interpret for others the devil will. And so the devil will come in and take your silence and make them think it's their fault. And they can begin to run off with that and you can have a divided relationship and and you even do them wrong. You're just you just didn't tell them you're off communicate when you're off. Just tell her hey babe.(...) And this happened to work today and I am struggling to get over that. But just know that what I'm dealing with it is not your fault.(...) And that just helps. Here's something else. If it is her fault then you do want to communicate it. You do want to say babe I'm having trouble getting over it. I had this just I think just last week I told Debbie something had happened and I said I'm having trouble getting over it. We need to talk. And so we talk about it and we get over it. We move on. That's just what adults do in a relationship. So I'm telling you these things and it'd be easy to think that these are things that keep you from destroying your marriage and they do. But the things I've just told you. They build value into your marriage because they tell the other person your spouse how important they are because you ask permission you discuss things with them. You make them you keep them as a(...) Your primary focus in the relationship.

(...)

Now I'll tell you one more that sounds like it's just keeping you from destroying your marriage but it's not. It builds value. It says to the person I value you. And here it is. Number three is you choose a united front over a divided home.

(...)

When whenever my mom and dad disciplined us my mom always took up for us kids. And you know what my my brothers and I my sister we knew it. And so if we were going to get a whipping from my dad to avoid it. We could just get mom and dad fighting. We could just somehow get her involved in it and they would get to fighting and the kids became secondary and no discipline ever happened. And it just it's just it's a horrible thing. You never want to be divided. Make a choice that when you are in a disagreement when you disagree with each other in public. You're going to be united and private. You can talk about your disagreement. You can work it out. You can fix it. But you want a united home rather than a divided home. And again, this is one of those decisions I made before we got married and before we were believers.

(...)

Well before I was she was already a believer.(...) And then I get married. I trust Christ five years later and I realized oh my gosh that's what Jesus said. He said a united a divided home cannot stand. It just won't. It'll fall. And so choose that you're going to agree on how to discipline kids. You're going to agree to disagree. And but you're also going to agree that your disagreements will happen in private not in public and certainly not in front of your friends or in front of your kids. So

choose

a

United front over divided home.

(...) Number four choose to honor God's perspective over your own understanding.(...) This is good.

(...)

Genesis chapter two talks about when God created man. Genesis one the plan two he breaks it down to details and he creates man first gives him an assignment to do.

garden that

you're going to make it like a prototype for the rest of the world. You're going to tend it. Make it make it beautiful. All the world's going to be like that's God's design. It's the way he wanted it done. And so he gives man the job and he's going to rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the sky.

(...)

And all the creeping things on the earth. He looks at the cocks but it's not good man's alone. Well God knew that he looked at man and he wanted him to realize you're not enough.

(...)

And so God said I will make a helper suitable for him. The terms helper or suitable can be translated someone who's just right for him. Helper just means she's going to come alongside of him and she's going to make up for what he likes. She's suitable. She's just what he needs. And so they just began to work together like a glove and a hand and they didn't really care who was the glove and who was the hand. God had given him primary responsibility for leadership but he knew if he just did everything arbitrarily on his own that it just wouldn't work.(...) Well here's what happened. God created her brought her to him and he received her as God's just right fit for him.

(...)

Here's the deal because they were walking in harmony and walking in the light of God's love. He thought of her that way and she thought of him that way. So they had a great relationship.

(...)

What happened is after the fall of man their eyes were open and now they see each other's flaws.

(...)

And now he sees he's so different than me. He's so different from me and their differences now begin to divide them.(...) There's a way of looking at your spouse.(...) It just changes everything. And if you will see her as God's just right person for you to help you do all the things that God created you to do and she's that just right fit for you. It just changes everything. There is a picture that floated around years ago of this. Well when you first look at it to me you get when you first look at it you see an image. It's either really beautiful young woman or an old decrepit woman. Well the first time I saw it it was an old decrepit woman with a witch like nose and a chin and a wart. And I thought oh man she's ugly. And then someone told me but no there's a really beautiful woman there and had seen they began to trace it with her fingers showing me and began and then I began to see it said oh my gosh that is a beautiful woman. And and then I realized in this image they're both there. The really ugly old woman and the really beautiful woman. And and I get to choose which one I see. I can look for the beauty and find it or I can just accept the ugly and I'll see it.

(...)

That's how it is in your marriage. So if you make this decision that she regardless of what I'm understanding experiencing right now I accept my faith that she is God's just right fit for me. And you make that your choice and you all you'll always see her that way. She will stay beautiful to you and he will stay handsome to you. You will stay attracted to each other and you will build a great marriage regardless of your differences. Now transparency Debbie and I are nothing alike and that's the truth.(...) She is very detailed oriented. I'm very big picture oriented. I might get her done kind of person and she's a more let's lay it all out get it out in detail. So let's get an organization and a plan together. Then we'll do it a thousand times a thousand times. I have been so frustrated over our differences and I know she has to and maybe two thousand times. No one million times. We've both been frustrated with each other just yesterday. Just yesterday. I was feeling overwhelmed with the work I had to do but I made a choice. I said oh she is the just right fit for me. And so I took my overwhelm which was my work and went downstairs and just kind of laid it out to her.

(...)

And because I couldn't see it because the way I made she took and she was able to lay it out for me and organize it and just set me free from killing myself.(...) This is what I'm talking about. If you will choose to receive her as God's just right fit for you. It just changes everything. So except God's perspective that's what he says about her over your understanding what you're going to understand be far different than God's perspective except God's perspective in your marriage. It'll change everything. It'll help you make your marriage great.(...) Here's the fifth thing that I would tell you. And this is why I've been the most excited about because this is the last decision I made. I made the first three before I ever got married.

(...)

I made the fourth one as I began to understand scriptures and now I made this fifth one in 2014.

(...)

I chose to accept approval over seeking approval. This is huge. Okay. I chose to accept. Let me just say it. God's approval over seeking approval. This choice now it's a double-edged sword.

(...)

If you will accept that God already gives you his approval and he accepts you.

(...)

His son died for you, made you clean.(...) He loves you. He accepts you just like you are. You don't have to do anything to earn that or deserve it.

(...)

You can quit seeking approval. It's what you'll do. That's why I said it's a two-edged sword is you'll accept God's approval.(...) Then you will be able to accept yourself. That's the double-edged blade.(...) Accept God's approval. Then you can give yourself your approval. Okay. It works just like that.

(...)

If you don't do that, then you will wind up seeking approval.(...) Now let me just tell you why it's such a big deal. I'm going to lay it out for you. What does it look like if you're seeking approval?(...) And I'm just going to tell you this shame-based behavior. Shame drives seeking approval.

(...)

Remember the moment Adam and Eve sinned, their eyes were opened. They crossed the line. They ate their forbidden fruit. When sin came into the world, their eyes were open. They suddenly felt shame and they started covering themselves up.(...) So what's it look like when you're seeking approval? And from then on, they were seeking approval. So what's that look like? When you seek approval, you always put your best out there for others to see. That's it. And this isn't a bad thing. Initially, it's not a bad thing.

(...)

If you're good at speaking, you will be a speaker. If you're good at art, you will give yourself to art. If you're good at earning money, you will focus on earning money. If you're a great singer, a leader, if you build things, if you're a seamstress, a teacher, a sailor, a farmer, a welder, serving, whatever it is, caring, a caregiver, you will give yourself to those things because that's where you get your approval. You're seeking approval. And you do it.

(...)

It just feels so good. It strokes your ego when people tell you how good you are at those things. But here's what I want you to remember.

(...)

If you're

doesn't flow out of accepting, accepting God's goodness,

(...)

no matter how good you are, it will never be good enough. And I can tell you why.

(...)

God created you for His pleasure.

(...)

And His approval of you is so great and it's so superior to anything else. Nothing else can fill that cup.

(...)

He created you for His pleasure. So all these things that you're doing, they'll never fill you up. So what happens is you do all these things, you get really good, work it, striving at all these things. And what happens now, I'm going to be a perfectionist. A good one, good enough. So I got to get better.

(...)

And that doesn't work. So now I'm going to embellish and people aren't seeing me. So I start to brag, boasting. And that's not good enough. So now I'm going to have to cheat and workaholism. You see what I'm saying? Good is never good enough. And you've probably felt that.

(...)

I never can be a good enough husband. I never can be a good enough wife. I never can be a good enough father. I never can be a good enough worker. I never can be good enough at anything. No one is until you seek God's approval first. When you do everything that flows out of that, it changes everything. Now, I want to talk to you about what happens to the person that that's got weaknesses like me and like you probably.

(...)

And no, no, probably to it. You do have weaknesses. All of us do. Here's what you do.

(...)

You do what Adam and Eve did. You cover up. You start sewing fig leaves together.(...) And how you do that is you avoid anything where your weakness might be exposed. In other words, you're not going to get it. You're not going to speak. You'd rather die than be a speaker. You're not going to get up and do art if you're not an artist earning money. Forget it. And you withdraw. You withdraw from farming, sailing, teaching, sewing, whatever it is, caregiving, serving. You just pull back because you don't want that feeling of rejection. You put your best out. Those things which you think other people will approve. But when you are seeking approval and you don't think you're going to get it, that's what you do. You begin to hide those things you think others will reject.

(...)

And because none of us can completely hide it, we're aware of it. So we start doing things. We start lying. We start making excuses. We start blaming. We start rationalizing. We start, you know, we can do all kinds of things in that shape.

(...)

And you know where it comes from. Seeking approval over accepting approval. And again, I'll go a little deeper with this because we can never do enough and we can never cover up enough.

(...)

It leads as it grows, becomes more part of us, leads to depression, anxiety, anger, jealousy, envy, addictions, abuse,

(...)

and even suicide.

(...)

Now,(...) I want you to imagine something.

(...)

Imagine if you could walk totally,

(...)

completely in God's approval.

(...)

Without the fear of rejection, without the fear of failure, you walk totally in God's approval. How would that affect you? What would that do for you?

(...)

Well, abuse, addictions, envy, jealousy, anger, anxiety, depression, they begin to go away.

(...)

Gossiping, rationalizing, blaming, excuse making, lying, cheating, perfectionism, workaholism, bragging, embellishing, they start disappearing. Old things pass away and new things come. That was God's plan. That's what God wanted for you and me the moment we trusted Christ.

(...)

You know what happens?(...) You begin to feel God's love.

(...)

You begin to become grounded and rooted in God's love like you always wanted. And then you know what happens? You're able to love as you are loved.

(...)

And one more thing, you know what happens then?

(...)

You just make your marriage greater.

(...)

The biggest thing standing between you and a great marriage is this last thing we're talking about now.

(...)

Is you've been seeking approval rather than accepting God's approval.

(...)

So here we are at the end. I want to challenge you. I want to challenge you to make a couple of choices.

(...)

The first one is that you're going to look at these five and you're going to figure out which one or two or maybe all or something you need to adapt choices you need to make into your own life.(...) And this is it. Let's walk through it. Do you need to figure it out versus taking away out?(...) God's design for marriage is forever and he wants to help you do that. Would you let him help you do that?

(...)

Would you make the choice that it's us over them?

(...)

My marriage, my partner is more important than their primary. Over my children, they take priority over my children, my parents, my friends, my work, anything else that I can name. We're going to have a united front over a divided home. You're going to make that decision that you might disagree but you will not disagree in public, only in private. You'll talk it out and you'll work it out. You'll figure it out. Four, you're going to make a choice to honor God's perspective over your own understanding. You're going to receive her as God's just right fit for you.(...) Yes, he's different. Yes, he's not like you. But choose not to look at those. Choose to find the beauty that God brought into that relationship so that you can become all God had in mind when he made you.

(...)

Five,

(...)

choose God's acceptance over seeking acceptance or approval from others.(...) That's the number one. Which ones are for you? Which one or ones do you need to choose today? Here's a second decision I'm going to ask you to make.(...) Have a conversation with your spouse.(...) Let them listen to this talk and then you together, you decide which of the most important for you to focus on right now and go for it.

(...)

Well, hey, I don't have enjoyed this talk so much and I really believe these things will help you have a great marriage. So I want to ask you to do now is that we're done. If I can help you, reach out to me at Craig at Craig Walker coaching.com and let's start a conversation. See if coaching might be a good fit for you. Go to my website, Craig Walker coaching.com and a lot of ways we can connect there. But I'm just looking forward to you building the marriage that you always wanted. 50 years. I'm thrilled to be here and telling you this today. God bless you. See you next time.