Truly a Masterpiece Podcast
Truly a Masterpiece podcast is based on the Scripture that teaches, you are God's unique work of art, his masterpiece. This podcast is for those who are tired of wasting their potential and putting their dreams on hold while they struggle with the paralysis of self-doubt. My name is Craig, I'm your host. In 2014 I won the war over self-doubt. Looking back I can't believe how easy the war was to win. In each episode, you'll meet others who have won the war over self-doubt. They will share the dark side of doubt and how they overcame that "not enough" feeling to live the life they were born to love.
Truly a Masterpiece Podcast
Belonging vs Fitting In | Episode #048
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Most men don’t realize this … they are paying too much for acceptance.
They think they belong — but they’re really just fitting in.
Every man has a deep need for acceptance. We’re wired for belonging.
But when that need feels unmet, it can drive us to perform, pretend, and become someone we were never created to be.
In this episode, I break down the difference between belonging and fitting in—and why getting this wrong will cost you more than you think.
Fitting in says, “I’ll change who I am to be accepted.”
Belonging says, “I am accepted, so I can be who I am.”
If you’ve ever felt like you don’t measure up…
like you have to prove your worth or say the right thing to be accepted…
This episode will help you see the truth:
You don’t earn belonging.
You live from it.
00:00 – Belonging vs fitting in: why it matters
00:30 – The deep need every man has for acceptance
01:10 – How fitting in starts to shape your behavior
01:55 – The cost of trying to fit in
02:40 – A personal story of feeling like you don’t measure up
03:45 – What belonging actually means
04:30 – The difference between performing and being accepted
05:20 – Why acceptance starts with how you see yourself
06:10 – The danger of tying your value to others’ approval
07:00 – What changes when you know you belong
07:45 – Living from acceptance instead of striving for it
08:30 – Final encouragement: stop paying for acceptance
Connect with Craig @CraigWalkerCaoching
Get Craig's Book SHAMELESS The Life You Were Born to Love https://amzn.to/44vldsQ
Join the Masterpiece Brotherhood Men's Group: https://craigwalkercoaching.com/brotherhood
Sign up for the Truly a Masterpiece Workshop: https://craigwalkercoaching.com/resources (click on the block: Why Self-Doubt Keeps Returning — and How to Finally Break Free)
Connect with Craig on social media:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/craigwalkercoaching
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/craigwalkercoaching
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/craig-walker-1816367/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@craig.walker.coach
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@craigwalker9197
Connect with Craig @CraigWalkerCaoching
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/craigwalkercoaching
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/craigwalkercoaching
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/craig-walker-1816367/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@craig.walker.coach
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@craigwalker9197
Get a copy of Craig's Book SHAMELESS The Life You Were Born to Love https://amzn.to/44vldsQ
Join the Masterpiece Brotherhood Men's Group: https://craigwalkercoaching.com/brotherhood
Connect with Craig @CraigWalkerCaoching
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/craigwalkercoaching
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/craigwalkercoaching
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/craig-walker-1816367/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@craig.walker.coach
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@craigwalker9197
Get a copy of Craig's Book SHAMELESS The Life You Were Born to Love https://amzn.to/44vldsQ
Join the Masterpiece Brotherhood Men's Group: https://craigwalkercoaching.com/brotherhood
Hey friend, welcome to the Truly a Masterpiece podcast. I'm Craig Walker, founder of Craig Walker Coaching, author of the book Shameless, The Life You Were Born to Love, and the creator of the Truly a Masterpiece course and podcast. Now, if you've ever wrestled with self-doubt or shame, that voice that whispers that you're just not enough, or maybe the fear that people are about to figure you out, you're in the right place. I feel your pain. For most of my life, I lived with fear and insecurity until one night in 2014 when I told God, Enough. Like Jacob, I wrestled with him until he gave me the insights that changed everything. Today, by his grace, I live with more confidence, love, and joy than I ever thought possible. I want to help you do the same. Each week I'll share biblical truths, practical tools, and real stories from people who are just like you, but they won their battle with shame and self-doubt, and they're living that life that God created them to love. So grab a cup of coffee, settle in. This is gonna be fun. Let's get started. You know, most men don't realize this, but they're paying way too much for acceptance. They think they belong, but they're really just fitting in. You see, every human has this deep need for acceptance. We're actually hardwired by God for belonging. And when that need goes unmet, it can drive us to make some of our worst decisions of our very lives. I know I've done it. Maybe you have too. If you have, I think you'll identify with this story I'm about to tell you from Acts chapter 5. It's the story of Ananias and Sapphira. This was at a time when the early church was growing fast. New believers were being baptized and added to the church daily. People were full of faith, full of the Holy Spirit. They were looking for Jesus to come back at any moment. Like, don't go inside. He could be here. They were radically generous. Some were even selling property and giving money to help those who were in need. Like one man, Barnabas, he did exactly that. He sold a piece of property, took all the money and gave it to the apostles, and said, Here, take care of people that have needs. Well, he was, as you imagine, was highly respected, highly regarded, received incredible accolades, and then here comes Ananias and Sapphira. They saw themselves as generous people too, just not that generous. But they wanted the acceptance that he had. So they came up with their own story. They would do what Barnabas did. They would sell a piece of property. And they took the money and they gave some of it, though they told the apostles they gave all of it. Peter received this insight from the Lord. He looked at them and said, Why have you lied to the Holy Spirit? Like, oh my gosh. Didn't you know that the property was yours as long as it was in your possession? You could do whatever you want. It was your decision. But that decision cost them their lives. And don't miss this. Their problem wasn't that they didn't give enough money. Their problem was that they represented themselves as someone they were not. They weren't living from belonging. They were trying to fit in. And that's what fitting in does. Fitting in makes you ask questions like, you know, what do you want me to say? What do you want me to act like? What do you want me to like? What do you want me not to like? How do you want me to dress? What do you want me to avoid? Fitting in requires you to adjust who you are just to be accepted. And cost too much. Fitting in will cost your identity. I've heard men say, and I've said this myself, I don't even know who I am anymore. Fitting in will cost your sense of self-worth. Because underneath it is the belief that I am not enough. Something's wrong with me. I can't change. I'm stuck. It's the belief that says if people really knew me, they wouldn't like me. Fitting in requires you to change who you are, but belonging, oh, belonging requires you to be who you are. Belonging is not something that you earn, it's something that's given. You know, belonging begins when you recognize your worth. It does. This is David, Old Testament, king, greatest of all times. He understood this. He saw himself as God's workmanship. He actually wrote that, God, you made me. He said, You made all the delicate inner parts of my body. You knit me together in my mother's womb. Your workmanship is marvelous in how well I know it. This is how David saw himself. No wonder he became the greatest king of all times. So here's a question: what does God think of you? Paul answers that in the New Testament. Turn a page. And the Bible tells us, for you are God's masterpiece. Do you know a masterpiece is? The word masterpiece comes from the word poema, the Greek word. It's from where we get our word, English word, poem. God crafted you like a poet, crafts a poem, word by word, line by line, with purpose and intention until he had the perfect rhythm and flow. That's you. That's who you are. That's who God made you to be. That's why God has such high regard for you and he calls you his child. John wrote this. See how much the Father loves us because he calls us his children, and that's what we are. Hey, if you're a dad, you understand the depth of that phrase, don't you? That's belonging. You belong to God like a child belongs to a father. So let me ask you something now. How much do you think you're worth to God? Well, if you want to know, just think about what God paid for you. While we were yet sinners, not good people, but bad. Christ died for us. God so loved the world that he sent his only begotten son. That's value. And it has nothing to do with what we've done. It's because who God made you to be. So here's the million-dollar question. Are you living from belonging or are you still trying to fit in? Because belonging comes from being grounded in who you are in Christ. Listen, if you want to know who you are truly, look at the book of Ephesians, chapters 1 through 3. Meditate on that. You'll understand your identity, who you are and belonging. Read Ephesians chapter 4 through 6, and you'll understand what that will do for you, the overflow of belonging. Good character, good use of times, good marriage, parenting, strong work ethic, healthy spiritual life. These are just the outflows of knowing you belong. When I think about it, I think no wonder God judged Ananias and Sapphira so severely. Not because they gave too little, but because they refused to be who God created them to be. I know some people push back on me and they'll say, but God doesn't judge people like that anymore, does he? We hope not. Maybe not. But here's something I think most people miss. Every time you adjust to fit in, you are judging yourself, and a piece of you dies. Belonging, though, it changes everything. Belonging is where you find your true freedom, your real life. So whatever you do, don't try to fit in. Just be who God created you to be. It's like Robert Downey Jr. once said, Hey, if I'm not on my own team, why should anybody else be? I hope this talk has helped you. I hope it's encouraged you deeply. I hope it resonates with you. It's one of those talks that changed your life. Thanks for joining me again today. I hope you'll subscribe to my channel. And until next time, may the Lord help you to live that life you were born to love.