Play Bigger in Real Estate with Raquel Q.

What Are You Modeling? The Legacy Your Kids Are Already Watching

• Raquel Quinet • Episode 394

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This episode is one of the most emotional and personal ones I’ve ever recorded. Last week, I watched my son step onto a Division 1 basketball court for the very first time — a dream he’s chased for years… and a dream many said he would never reach. As I sat in the stands with 15,000 people around us, tears just fell. Not because of the game, but because I realized something powerful: our kids are always watching — even when we think they’re not.

In this episode, I open up about the unseen moments, the sacrifices, and the grit behind a dream that had every reason not to work… but did. And as I reflected on Bryce’s journey, I realized that so much of who he became came from what he witnessed at home — the way I handled pressure, adversity, setbacks, and the work no one applauded.

This isn’t just about sports or parenting.
 This is about entrepreneurship.
 Leadership.
 Legacy.
 And the truth we often forget:
 we model our kids’ default settings.

If you're building a business, raising a driven kid, or stretching for the life you know you’re meant for — this episode will hit home.

✨ Things I Cover in This Episode

  • How our kids absorb our habits, reactions, and resilience
  • The behind-the-scenes grind that built a D1 athlete
  • What entrepreneurship and sports have in common (hint: everything)
  • Why growth filters your circle — and why that’s a gift
  • The real difference between teaching grit and living it
  • How to protect your energy and vision when others doubt you
  • Three things you can do this week to model leadership at home and in business

If this episode speaks to you, share it with a parent, an entrepreneur, or someone chasing a bold dream. Tag me on Instagram @itsraquelq — I’d love to hear what you’re modeling right now.

If you’re ready to scale with intention (not just hustle harder), check out my coaching programs at letsplaybigger.com.

And podcast listeners — send me a DM that says “BlackFriday” on IG for exclusive never-done-before offers.

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Thank you for joining me on this episode of The Raquel Show, and remember, keep pushing your limits to achieve your goals.

For updates and collaborations or opportunities, go to www.LetsPlayBigger.com

Find more resources on our website

https://raquelq.com/podcast/

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And here's the truth I've come to realize is our kids are always watching. Even we think they are not, they are. They hear how you talk about your goals. They hear how you respond to failure. They feel your energy, your hustle, your joy, or even sometimes your exhaustion. And they see you put in actions every single day.

Welcome back to The Raquel Show. This show is for entrepreneurs who want to play bigger in business and in life. And today's episode is a personal one. It's something that's been deep in my heart. It's something that I've been wanting to talk about, especially after what I got to experience last week. It's not about business. It's something bigger and it's about what we pass on intentionally or not as parents, as role models. And it's about really what we model. 

And here's the truth I've come to realize is our kids are always watching. Even we think they are not, they are. They hear how you talk about your goals. They hear how you respond to failure. They feel your energy, your hustle, your joy, or even sometimes your exhaustion. And they see you put in actions every single day. They see how you handle pressure. And recently I had one of those moments, a milestone, an experience I won't forget, a flood of memories, the kind of moment that makes you stop in your tracks and just breathe. 

Last week, some of you guys know that I got to watch Bryce play college basketball for the very first time. I flew to Indiana and it was so emotional. It was always his dream to play D1. I remember him saying, mom, I'm going to play division one basketball. Now, if you know anything about basketball, you know how rare that is because there are only five people on the court and there's very few teams and less than 1 % of high school athletes even play at that level or get recruited at that level. There are no guarantees, not even when you put in all the work, but guess what? He still chased it. 

There were so many people that doubted him. It's like saying, I'm going to go to the NBA and people look at you funny. You know why? Because he didn't look the part. He wasn't the tallest. He didn't dunk. And every time people would pick out basketball teams, he was the last one to get picked by some of those captains or even some of those coaches. And there were so many moments where people even said, college coaches, matter of fact, that he may play D3 or he might be able to play D2, but guess what? He's Asian and he's going to be overlooked and there's very few like one in a million. 

That's even a freshman that plays or gets recruited. So even when you get those recruiting offers, I'll tell you, you don't even know if that's going to pan out. Even when you commit and sign that commitment letter of playing D1 basketball, you don't even know if you're going to get minutes as a freshman. Why do I know this is because we have had people that have played for Brad that have not even touched the court. So it was a huge family moment for us. And when I saw him finally step on that court, I literally just cried. He made his dream a reality. And what were the chances of him starting his college career playing in front of 15,000 people against the number one college basketball team in the country? And to get his nerves out and continue to play under pressure, I could not be any more proud. 

I just cried. Not because of the game, but because I knew he didn't get there from just pure talent. He got there from all the unseen moments, all of the things behind the scenes that people didn't see the early mornings, the setbacks, the adversity, the saying no to events, the parties, the saying no to homecoming. And even, I remember this, even saying no to junior prom. He missed it. There were seasons of doubt the workouts that he would do and no one was clapping the long flights of travel ball and sleeping at the airports or the long drives of doing homework in the car because he had to go play two or three games in Southern California. 

And I realized our kids have learned that from somewhere. He learned that from somewhere. Bryce saw me build a business. He saw the sacrifices. He saw me navigating under pressure, juggling priorities, taking risk and even crying when things got out of whack. He heard me say things like, we're going to figure it out. He'd watch how I would rebound from a setback or how I led when things were uncertain. And even when I thought he was tuned out, guess what? He was watching. And so was Brex soaking it all in. 

You see, our kids just don't learn from what we teach. It's very easy to teach. They learn from what we actually tolerate. They learn from how we show up when no one is watching. Something I always say to my kids when I dropped them off to school since they were a young age is be a leader, even when nobody's watching because that's who you are. And so I believe grit is caught, not taught. You can't give your kids grit by always talking about it. You give it to them by living it out loud. 

They watch how you show up when life isn't fair. And trust me, life isn't fair all the time. They see whether you fold when it's hard or you make excuses or you just dig in and give up. They learn from how you handle adversity based on how you react when a client ghost is you or when deals fall apart. Does mom get paralyzed by fear? Does dad blame refs? for a bad game or does he blame the players he has that are not so talented or does he adjust the game plan? 

So you see, living in the world of basketball or sports, I hear too many parents blame coaches, refs or make excuses. And it's the same thing in real estate. know, too many agents blame the lack of inventory, the lack of high interest rates or the market. And when you do that, you buy into the story that becomes your reality rather than having ownership of saying, I have to get better. That's probably honestly, one of the best advice I had given Bryce and Brexton at a very young age when they didn't agree with their coaches. I didn't complain to their coach. I never had a parent meeting and I flat out said, you got to get better and you have to have a meeting with your coach to figure out what he actually wants to see out of you.

They are not playing for a reason. And I would tell them, you're not playing for a reason. And it might be because the coach doesn't trust you to be in the game. And that's the same with clients. If your clients go somewhere, it's because you probably didn't do a good job of creating trust. And at the end of it, you are modeling their default settings.

You see vision creates permission. And when Bryce said he wanted to go D1, he had zero proof that he could get there, but he believed and he worked his tail off sometimes three practices and training and he would see me chasing my own bold goals. And he learned that it was safe to dream big, to play bigger, despite your circumstances. He saw that playing bigger wasn't just allowed. It was actually normal.

Our kids don't need us to succeed. They just need us to try. They need us to stretch. They need us to take risk and to execute on the things we said we would do because that's where the permission lives. 

It's not in the keynote speech. It's how you talk to people when no one's around. It's whether your actions match your promises. An old mentor used to tell me does the actions match the audio, right? This is where character is built and your kids, guess what? They pick all of it up. 

For Bryce, the discipline didn't just show up on game day. It showed up in how he treated practice and it reflected everything he observed at home. Let me tell you something else. When you start playing bigger, your success will inspire some, but it will also trigger others. And watching Bryce step into his dream, we saw that play out clearly. There were so many people that were loud in their support. So I want to thank you guys all for the messages, the DMs, the texts, all the things, the calls, right? And there were some that were silent. You could feel it and you could tell who was genuinely cheering and who wasn't. He noticed it. We noticed it. And it hit me. That growth filters your circle.

Success is a spotlight, not just on you, but on your relationships. 

And as a parent and as an entrepreneur, you start seeing who aligns with your future and who's stuck in your past. Let it be a gift because the climb reveals what's always real. Here's one of the biggest things that I learned from Bryce's journey. Don't let anyone rob you of your dreams just because they couldn't see theirs. 

Everyone has an opinion, but opinions aren't your vision and they sure aren't hell your execution. You don't need everyone to agree with your goals, with your dreams. You just need the discipline to keep going and every adversity that you face will only help you for your next level. Whether you are building a business or raising a kid that's chasing that 1 % path. 

You must protect your energy, protect the belief, protect your lane because no one else is going to do it for you. So here's what I want you to think about this week.

  • As you know, I love seeing you grow is number one is audit your influence. What are you modeling right now at home in your business, in your relationships, on your team, around your friends 
  • and number two, declare your vision out loud. Let your kids see what chasing a goal looks like. 
  • And number three is I want you to stop apologizing for playing big. Some people will be triggered. Let them. You aren't building for them. Keep playing bigger. I want to thank you all for hanging out with me on another quick episode. 

And if this episode hit home, I'd love for you to share it with someone who's raising kids or building something that matters or tag me on Instagram at @itsraquelq because I would love to hear what you're modeling. And if you're ready to scale your business with intention to Play Bigger, not just to hustle harder, I want you to check out our coaching programs and community at let's play bigger.com. And if you want to know some of our never done before black Friday specials, send me a DM "BlackFriday" on IG just for my podcast listeners at @itsraquelq. And until next time, my friends keep taking bold action and keep Playing Bigger.