The Relationship Audit Every Ambitious Leader Needs

This season has shown me something most people don’t talk about out loud:
your relationships will either accelerate your vision… or quietly slow it down.

As we get to the end of the year, people start reflecting on gratitude, lessons, and the people in their life — and that reflection hits differently when you realize some relationships no longer feel aligned. Maybe you feel drained after certain conversations. Maybe the friendships that used to fit… don’t. Maybe your circle feels smaller but sharper.

You’re not imagining it.
You’re not being dramatic.
You’re growing.

And not everyone is meant to come with you into your next season.

In today’s episode, I’m sharing the truth about shifting friendships, evolving standards, and the emotional cost of outgrowing people you once loved deeply. I’ll walk you through how I curate my circle, how I protect my energy, and how I decide who gets access to me — not based on history, but based on alignment.

If you’ve been feeling disconnected, drained, or misunderstood this year… this episode will give you clarity, permission, and a framework for choosing relationships that match who you’re becoming — not who you used to be.

📍Things I cover in this Episode:

• The moment you realize you’ve outgrown old friendships
• Why growth can feel lonely (and why it’s not actually loneliness — it’s expansion)
• How to protect your energy without guilt
• The Access Buckets Framework I teach my kids
• Inner Circle vs. Growth Circle vs. Clients vs. Drainers
• How to filter relationships using expanders vs. diminishers
• Why boundaries aren’t rejection — they’re alignment
• How to elevate your rooms and stop staying where you’re the strongest one
• What happens when your bandwidth shrinks and your standards rise
• A step-by-step “Play Bigger Relationship Audit” to realign your circle for 2026

If this episode resonates with you — if it gives you clarity, permission, or a deep exhale — share it with a friend, tag me on Instagram @itsraquelq, or send me a message inside my VIP text community at textraquel.com.

And if you're ready to grow with me in 2026 — through coaching, events, or a VIP Day in Scottsdale — send me a DM. My team and I will take care of you! ❤️

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Thank you for joining me on this episode of The Raquel Show, and remember, keep pushing your limits to achieve your goals.

For updates and collaborations or opportunities, go to www.LetsPlayBigger.com

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Chapters

• 1:10 Outgrowing Friendships Is Not in Your Head
• 4:30 Letting Go Is Not Betrayal — It’s Evolution
• 9:10 Your Energy Is Currency: Protect It
• 12:50 How to Re-Bucket Relationships with Intention
• 15:21 Stay Open: Your Future Circle Is Forming

Transcript

People around you will either accelerate your vision or slow it down. This is a season when people just start reflecting on what they're grateful for, some of the lessons they learned this year, and sometimes the people in their life. And that reflection, I'll tell you, it can reveal that some relationships may feel off.

And it might be because you might be outgrowing some old friendships. Maybe certain people leave you drained. Maybe your circles feel different and you're finally noticing who's aligned and who's not. You're not imagining it. You're just growing. And believe it or not, not everyone is meant to come with you.

Welcome to The Raquel Show. I'm your host Raquel Quinet, business coach, real estate entrepreneur, investor, wife and sports mom. This podcast will give you real quick tips, strategies, tools and inspire you to Play Bigger in business and in life. Are you ready? Let's grow to the next level. 

And that reflection, I'll tell you, can reveal that some relationships may feel off and it might be because you might be outgrowing some old friendships. Maybe certain people leave you drained. Maybe your circles feel different and you're finally noticing who's aligned and who's not. You're not imagining it. You're just growing and believe it or not.

Not everyone is meant to come with you. This episode is for you. If your friendships are shifting, you might feel disconnected from people you used to feel close to or your cravings deeper alignment and just amazing friendships. Or you're craving something deeper with more depth and maybe some boundaries. So I want to talk about how to curate your circle, how to protect your energy and how to realign your relationships for where you're actually going, not who you were, not where you've been.

Because we're not just talking about friendships. We're talking about proximity. We're talking about alignment. There are people around you that either elevate your energy or quietly drain it. And you know, because when your phone rings or you get a text message or you get a DM, you can sense your body, feel that energy. 

So here's what most people won't say: Growth is lonely until you realize it's just
clearing space. 

I'll never forget this one quote, a friend of mine told me five years from now, some of the people who feel central today may become strangers. People that you're close to today might be strangers in five years and five years from now, people who you haven't even met might be the most meaningful people in your life.

I'll tell you some of my really good close friends today, which I have to probably get on a plane for. They weren't in my life five years ago and that hit me in the gut. Right. It really hit me because for so long, I'll tell you, I actually tried to hold on to friendships that didn't fit anymore to people that I've always made time for, to people who no longer chose me. I mean, you know, there are friends that have been with you forever, but they will never support your business.

To a version of myself that I actually outgrown. And I try to hold onto that. And when things started to shift, I made it mean I was the problem, that I wasn't loyal enough, that I should have tried harder. But here's what I've learned the hard way is that letting go isn't betrayal. It's just evolution. It's growth, my friend.

And when you're building for the next level, whether it's in business or in life, you can't take everyone with you. You stop shrinking. You stop chasing. You stop justifying the growth. You start choosing your energy over history, believe it or not, alignment over effort and debt over comfort, because letting go is not losing my friend. It's making space for what's next.

And I know you felt this before you give, you give, you give, put things together, you bring people together, you connect people together, but you feel empty. You're surrounded, but not supported. That's what you're feeling. And here's why not everyone deserves equal access to you. 

Let me walk you through some of the access buckets framework. One that I even teach my kids today as they navigate who gets to be close to them or they start losing some friendships along the way. 

• Number one is your inner circle. These people are your most trusted. They are your ride or dies. They are the ones who know you at your core without the crazy titles, without all the things that you do, and they accept you for who you are. These might be your first couple of phone calls. If something happens, that's how I know who my inner circles are. This circle is tiny by design.
• Number two is your growth circle. These are your expanders. These could be mentors, coaches, collaborators, peers, and even business partners because they actually challenge you. They stress you. They sharpen you. These aren't always personal relationships or friendships, but they're super powerful to have in your life. 
• And then number three is obviously your clients and community. These are the people you serve. They deserve you, your clarity and not when you're burnt out because without boundaries, this group could drain you and with structures, they actually could be your biggest advocate. They could be your greatest contribution. 
• And then number four is I've got drainers. Not everyone is toxic and I'm not saying drainers are toxic, but not everyone is for you right now or in this next season. Some, when I call drainers, will guilt you.

Some will drain you and some will just require way more energy than you can give. I mean, I know there are certain drainers in my life that I have today because when I do get some of those messages, I'm like, okay, I have to be present with my family and there's just no way that I am going to answer your question right now. See, here's the thing. You don't need drama. You just need to adjust your access.

And once I learned that life got a little bit better. And then you've got your expanders versus diminishers. This is like what I use to filter almost weekly, right? I'll look at my calendar. I'll do a review, preview, and then I'll ask myself after looking at my calendar and some of my meetings: did this person expand my goal or did they shrink them or did it just get stuck? 

Like I have been on so many opportunity calls because as you know, this is a time where I am looking for talent to bring into my world. I am looking for people I actually want to grow with and that see the vision and that are going, Hey, Raquel, let's go. I don't have it all figured out, but I know that the vision is so clear and we want to do things together. Right? I look at those meetings and go, did that person challenge my growth or did they compete with it? Was there a little bit of ego involved?

You know, could I see myself with this person long term when it comes to business? Did they actually pour into me when I look at some of the conversations that I had for the week or did they just pick my brain? And then sometimes you start to realize after so many months and even after so many years that there's always going to be people. I have some of these people that are always going to pick your brain because of your knowledge, your experience, how long you've been in the industry, but they're never going to support it and that's okay. 

You just have to know when you look at things that you're okay with that and you just know where to place it or place that relationship because your energy is currency and you don't get that back, right? Especially when it's drained, you take the hit of it and proximity. That's your ROI. 

So if I was being honest, no one really prepares you for the moment when your relationships no longer match your vision. The only time that I actually saw this is when we would serve some of the professional athletes or when they got drafted into the NBA or the NFL or the MLB, you could see their circles immediately get super tight because there was like this trust factor.

And they knew that there were going to be another journey that they had never been before. I didn't understand all of this until I got away and really started doing some inner work. When I started hosting retreats many, many years ago, and I watched so many of us realize at the same time that our lives were expanding, but our circles sometimes stayed stuck. They weren't expanding. 

And this year taught me that deeply caring for my mom, scaling multiple companies in different ways, raising teenagers, and then holding space for lots of clients and team members in our community. And it totally changed me. I became more proactive of my energy, not because I needed to, but because I just had to. And I became more intentional with my time.

I became more selective with my circle on who knew what, like what was really going on behind the scenes. And here's what happens is because when your bandwidth shrinks, your standards actually rise. You stop settling for what you used to settle the old version of you. And here's the real talk. If a relationship doesn't bring you clarity, depth, which I love to look for now growth, or love it's costing you. And no amount of history can justify misalignment for where you're going. So this is a shift that changed everything for me. I stopped managing other people's feelings about my boundaries and I just started managing whether or not it was in my alignment. 

And here's how you can do the same. 

• Number one is to audit your access. Who's influencing your decisions today? Who's influencing your moods today? Where's your mindset? 
• And number two is I would re-bucket with intention. I'm looking at rebuilding our planner for 2026. And a lot of some of these things that I'm talking about are in the beginning. So like you get to reflect every single week and we might sell the planner because everyone's like Raquel, I wanna see what your planner is, I wanna see how you stay focused. I wanna see how you become intentional with your relationships way long before the year starts. Right? So number two is I re bucket your intention, move people gently privately without guilt. Just say, if I had, let's say a week left, where would these people fall in my bucket today? Some believe or not belong in your past, some in your present. And there's very few, probably unless you're lucky, that go with you into the future or your next season. 
• And number three is you've got to elevate your rooms. A lot of you have a lot of big goals for next year. Don't stay stuck in some of the rooms unless you're at play bigger because you know, we're always about elevating every single person around us, regardless of brands. You get in rooms that challenge you that you don't feel like a number that really value relationships because they stretch you and they call you out on your BS. So if you're always the one that's pouring into other people. You might be in the wrong room. 
• And number four is I would release with maturity. You don't need a dramatic exit. You actually don't even need an announcement. You just need boundaries and clarity. 
• And number five is always stay open and flexible. Your next aligned friendship, business partner, mentor or coach, they may not be in your life yet, but make space. They're coming. I promise you. 

So let's talk about the thing that you're feeling. Maybe a shift. You probably felt this to your circle is getting smaller, but stronger. You've released people and gained some clarity and some peace. You've grieved some dynamics, but you're a lot happier. Let me tell you, this isn't a loss. It's alignment to the one who's been told you're changing. How many of you guys have ever been told,

Oh my gosh, Raquel, I get this all the time. You're changing. You're so different now. I got that growing up as I was building my businesses. You're too busy for us or you're too much now. You've gotten distance. Let me tell you, you're not the problem. You're just evidence that growth is actually happening in your life and in your world. And the people that are meant for your future, they won't hold you to the old you.

They won't mourn the old you. They will celebrate all of your growth. They will actually support you and they'll tell you to go freaking Play Bigger. So let's land with this action because you know, insight without implementation doesn't create change. And if you've listened to this episode, you know that I always love to give you guys a challenge. 

So here's your Play Bigger relationship. 

Number one is to audit your access bucket. No judgment. just awareness. 

Number two is to move one person into the right bucket with love. 

And number three is invest in one expander, reach out, connect. This is also a time where I look for who is going to be my next coach. Where am I going to invest when it comes to growth? 

And number four is release one draining connection, even just mentally. And number five is I want you to stay open, stay flexible because your future circle is forming.

You're not just building a business. You're actually building a life too. And the people you allow closest to you, they either accelerate your growth or they block it. So protect your space, curate your circle, protect that environment. And remember the people meant for your next five years won't require you to shrink, to stay close or to play small.

I want to thank you for listening to another quick episode of The Raquel Show. I want to say thank you for choosing growth and thank you for being a part of our Play Bigger community. And if you're wondering Raquel, how can I grow with you or how can I be a part of the Play Bigger community and some of the live events we've got going on for 2026 or how can I actually fly into Scottsdale, Arizona and spend a day with you for a VIP session? Reach out to me on the DM @itsraquelq on IG and I'd be more than happy and my team would be more than happy to give you all the details. And until next time, keep growing and keep Playing Bigger.

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