Why Playing Small Is So Expensive

Playing Bigger isn’t about blowing up your life.
It’s not about hustling harder.
And it’s definitely not about 10X-ing everything overnight.

In this very first episode of The Play Bigger Podcast, I’m having an honest conversation about something most high achievers don’t want to admit:
the quiet, hidden cost of playing small.

On the outside, it can look like success. You have clients. You’re busy. The calendar is full. Money is coming in. But on the inside… you know you’re operating beneath your true capacity.

In this episode, I break down the real price you pay when you delay tough decisions, stay the bottleneck, avoid visibility, or keep telling yourself, “I’ll build it later.” I also share exactly how this showed up in my own journey—even at high levels of success.

This isn’t about motivation.
This is about standards.
And the question is simple:
Are you willing to raise yours?

If you’ve been feeling a quiet tension between where you are and where you know you’re capable of going—this episode will hit different.

Things I Cover in This Episode

• What playing small actually looks like for high performers
• The 5 real costs of playing small:
  • Financial cost
  • Time cost
  • Emotional cost
  • Identity cost
  • Legacy cost
• Why exhaustion and playing small can exist at the same time
• The difference between operator thinking vs. CEO thinking
• How high achievers get stuck longer than anyone else
• The danger of “successful dysfunction”
• My personal seasons of playing small (even while producing big)
• The fear behind staying private, avoiding visibility, and delaying leverage
• A powerful self-audit to reveal where you’re capped
• What playing bigger truly means (without chaos or burnout)
• The one decision that can shift your entire next chapter

If this episode challenged you in the best way, here’s your move:

1. Pick one area where you’ve been playing small.
2. Make one bold decision this week that moves you into alignment.
3. If you’re ready to scale with structure, clarity, and strategy, explore what we’re building at letsplaybigger.com

And if this episode hit home, share it with someone who needs the push.

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🔗 Links & Resources

Ready to Build the Agent CEO Model?
If you want a clear, repeatable revenue system (without burnout), DM “AGENTCEO” to @itsraquelq on Instagram to learn more about the Agent CEO Accelerator.

 For coaching, events, and collaborations: www.LetsPlayBigger.com

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Chapters

• 2:05 The Hidden Cost of Playing Small
• 4:40 Cost #1: The Financial Cost
• 5:58 Cost #2: The Time Cost
• 6:54 Cost #3: The Emotional Cost
• 8:17 Cost #4: The Identity Cost
• 9:13 Cost #5: The Legacy Cost
• 13:03 Exhaustion vs. Playing Small
• 17:44 Redefining What Playing Bigger Actually Means
• 21:01 Your One-Move Play Bigger Challenge

Transcript

Playing Bigger is not about blowing up your life and starting from scratch. It's not about 10xing in the next 90 days. It's not about becoming who you're not. And it's definitely not about hustling harder. Playing Bigger is not about being everywhere, not doing everything or not being the loudest in the room. It's about being the most intentional in the room. My friend, you don't need more motivation. You just need to operate at a different standard. You need higher standard. The question is, are you willing to raise your standard? Are you willing to Play Bigger? Are you willing to get out of your comfort zone and see your true potential?

Welcome to the very first episode of our new podcast title, The Play Bigger Podcast. I'm your host Raquel Quinet, and I want to thank everyone for being here today. Whether you're in the car, you're at the gym, you're on a walk, and everyone who has left a review for our 400th episode. You know, it takes a lot of work to put this podcast together and it really means the world to me and my team every single time we get a review. And I'm so just shocked that we have so many people from all over the world that actually listen to this podcast. 

So today I want to keep it very, very real, very honest conversation about something that doesn't always look like a problem from the outside, but it can silently drain your money. It can drain your energy. It could drain your peace. And of course it can drain your potential. And we are going to be talking about the cost, the real cost of playing small in business.

And I want you to really hear this playing small doesn't always look like failing. Most of the time it looks like you're doing fine. You're being busy. You're staying realistic. It looks like you have clients. It looks like you have closings and it looks like you have a full calendar and yet inside here's the trick. You know, you are operating way below what you're capable of. And so today I want to walk you through what playing small actually looks like in a high achievers life, the five hitting costs you're paying right now if you're playing small. And I'm also going to share with you how this has actually shown up in my life, in my own journey and what it actually means to play bigger in a way that's sustainable, that's aligned and not just crazy, loud and chaotic. So if you've been feeling this quiet tension between where you're at right now and where you could be, this episode is for you. 

So I want to start right here where I say playing small and I'm not talking about the person that's lazy or sitting on the couch doing absolutely nothing in their life because let's face it, that person doesn't listen to this podcast. You know, playing small for you, for me, usually looks like you're a top producer or you're an entrepreneur and you're the go-to person in your market or in your space. And you're the person that people constantly ask advice from. You are doing well by most people's standards, but you know you're stuck in this pattern because you're overworking, you're under leverage, you're constantly in motion, but you're not really moving forward at the level you want. You might be saying to yourself, I feel like I'm behind. And you know there's another level of business, another level of leadership, another level of revenue and your impact, but you keep circling right underneath that ceiling.

You tell yourself things like, I'm going to build systems later, Raquel, when things come down, or I'm going to hire help when I'm ready. I'll invest in a coach when I hit X number of closings or I make X amount of money. Or in the moment, you know, it sounds smart. It sounds responsible. It sounds like you're just being practical. But if I'm being honest, a lot of the time it's fear. I know. It's dressed up in strategy. I know I said it. There's that fear of failing. There's the fear of success. There's the fear of being seen and there's a fear of changing what's working. Even though you know, it's not sustainable, like long-term, that's what playing small looks like for high performers or not saying yes to the thing that you know, you should be saying yes to. It's not that you're not doing nothing. It's that you're doing everything except for the thing that would actually take you to the next level. 

So I want to walk you through the five specific costs you pay when you play small. You may not be writing these checks with money today, but trust me, you're paying for them in one way or another. 

The first one is the financial costs. I want to go there. When you play small, you might be under charging. You might be discounting your commission or your services. You over deliver in the wrong way. You stay in models that cap your earning potential and you delay decisions that create long-term revenue. You might be doing okay financially. You might even be doing great, but there's usually revenue you're not capturing or opportunities that you're not stepping into or follow-ups that you should be doing and wealth you're not building because you're stuck in operator mode instead of ownership mode or owner mode. It's not lost of income. It's lost of compound growth. And man, have I been learning about this a lot lately because every year that you stay stuck at the same level, your future net worth shrinks, especially in today's day and age because of inflation. It's not theory. It's real numbers. 

And number two is the time cost. When you play small, it is incredibly expensive in terms of your time. You stay the bottleneck. Things don't move unless you push them and you're the one that's answering every single question, solving every single problem, managing every single client or team member and fixing every fire. You tell yourself, it's just easier, Raquel, if I do it myself. But the truth is it's more familiar if you do it. And the cost is you never actually get time back to think, to design, to lead, to rest. You've actually built a business that works because of you, not without you. And there's a huge difference when you're stepping into that next level. 

Number three is the emotional cost. Now let's talk about the emotional tax because not everyone likes to address that. See playing small creates this subtle ongoing resentment. You might not say it out loud, but it sounds like, huh, why does this feel so hard Raquel? Or why does everyone need me for everything?
Or why do I feel behind even when I'm hitting my goals? You're tired in a way that sleep doesn't fix it. You're not just physically exhausted. You're emotionally just over it, not over the mission, not over helping people and clients, but over the way that business is actually currently structured and the emotional weight leaks into everything. How you actually show up for your clients, how you show up for your staff or your team, how you show up for your family, how you talk to yourself.
and how much courage you have left to take the next step. 

And number four is the identity cost. Here's one of the biggest ones that people at your level, you start to feel misaligned with yourself. You know, you're built for more responsibility, more impact, more leadership, or I would say even more pressure. always tell my kids you thrive under pressure, but your habits, your calendar, your systems are always reflecting that and the gap of who you know you are and how you're actually operating. When you look at it, that gap is painful. My friend, you start to question yourself. Maybe I'm just not meant for the next level. Maybe I should be grateful for what I have. Maybe I'm asking too much or maybe Raquel, my goals should be a little bit more realistic and slowly quietly you lower the bar of who you're becoming. That my friend is a huge cost.

And last but not least is the legacy costs. This is one that's rarely talked about. When you play small, people watch. When you play small, your family, your kids, your team, they learn that it's okay to want goals and pivot when things get hard or even quit. It's okay to not have discipline when it comes to your goals and chaos is normal. You're emotionally stressed or frustrated and that makes them wonder, is that what work is all about? They see you working hard, they see you providing, they see the results, but they don't get to see the model of what it looks like to build a really cool business while having you present. And if you zoomed way out, this is a cost that really matters because yes, income, and I always say revenue is important, and yes, success is important, but what you're passing down is patterns, beliefs, standards, and that's legacy.

So I wanna make this real for you. Let me share a couple of my seasons in my own journey where I realized, Raquel, you were playing small, just in a very high functioning way. I've been in real estate since my early 20s. I became a top producer fast. I built teams. I opened up mortgage companies. I led brokerages. We hit big numbers. From the outside, it looked like I was always playing big. But there was specific moments where I stayed way too long because it was familiar or I delayed a decision because it was too comfortable or I told myself I'll do that when things slow down. And one of them was leverage and support. For a long time, I wore it like a badge of honor that I could do an insane amount on my own. I could coach, I could lead multiple companies. I could sell, could manage the backend, cause I was a true operator and I could run events. I could do all the things. And I used to even tell myself, I am a super woman. I actually even had a tribe that I first launched many years ago called super woman tribe. And I did it for a while, but the cost, my time was maxed. My capacity was always full. I was never really present. And I was constantly living in, I'll think about that later. I wasn't playing small in terms of output, but I was playing small in terms of how I was actually building. I was building for control. 

And I'm going to say this again, because it's a lesson that I continuously relearn over and over. I was building for control, not for scale. And there's a difference. Another season was, of course, you all know, if you know me with social media, for years I kept my social media private. I didn't talk about my kids. I didn't put my voice out there or my stories out there. And I told myself, I don't want to be one of those people's on social media. I don't want to follow the trend. I don't have time to learn all of this. Right. And I would tell myself, I hate content. And yes, you probably know that like content is a struggle for me, just sharing all the things. And now I've just gotten to the point of like, I'm just gonna share what I'm learning. I'm gonna share what my clients are learning. I'm gonna share my clients wins. I'm gonna celebrate them. And I'm gonna do it just because I know it can impact one person. But if I'm being honest, underneath all of that stuff was fear, fear of visibility, fear of saying the wrong thing, fear of judgment, fear of doing it all wrong and looking back. When I finally decided to open up about things or share my voice or use my social to build community and relationships, I can tell you it was the best thing I ever done.

It completely changed the trajectory of my business, my network, the rooms that I got invited to stages that I got to speak in front of and the people that I got to impact the opportunities that came my way. I realized I had been playing small, not in my effort, but in how willing I was to be seen. So if you're listening and you're thinking, Raquel, I'm not playing small, I'm just exhausted. I want to gently challenge that my friend, because exhaustion and playing small can absolutely exist at the same time, because it's not that you're doing a lot. You might just be avoiding some of the moves that could actually change the game for you. So let's talk about high achievers for a second, because if you're here, that's you.

You know, high performers get stuck in playing small longer than anyone else. Why? Because you can actually survive in dysfunction, in chaos. It's true. You can outwork broken systems and you can function at a high level of structures that are not built to support your next level. You don't really hit rock bottom fast. You hit a slow burn frustration and you can maintain your income. You can hold things together. You can keep up your image and you can keep machines running even when the backend is super messy and it's completely dependent on you. So nothing forces you to change. You're successful enough to stay where you are, but not free enough to build what you truly want. And that is a trap. And that's why we see so many top producers, high earning entrepreneurs and leaders stay at the same level for three years, for five years, for even 10 years. Not because they don't know how to grow, but because they are doing what is working and it's just enough. Just enough that the pain of changing feels bigger than the pain of staying until one day you know it doesn't work anymore. 

And I want to talk about the operator versus CEO. I want to zoom in on this because there is a difference between thinking like an operator and thinking like a CEO or a salesperson versus a CEO. Operators ask, how will I get this done? What do I need to do today? How do I need to hit my goals this month? Where a CEO can actually ask what system solves this problem permanently so I don't get the job back. Who should own this instead of me? What needs to be true for this to run without me? How does this support where I want to be in three years from now?

You see operators thinking isn't bad. We all need it. It's how we get things off the ground. But if you stay stuck in the operator thinking for too long, you'll always be the one that's carrying the weight in your business. You'll build a job with extra steps, not a business with structures and Playing Bigger is about shifting all of that.

 So I want to talk you through a quick self audit of, you playing small?
And you can answer these in your head or come back later and write them out. So I'm to give you some questions because you know, I like to challenge you all is ask yourself.

Number one, can I step away from my business for 30 days without everything collapsing? Be honest, not could it survive, but could it actually function well? 

And number two is, I have a predictable way clients or deals or leads come in? And am I still relying on mostly hustle? or on different things. 

And number three is do I know my real profit margins or do I mostly focus on top line numbers? That's when you know that you're running a business because you actually look at your P and L and you look at your profit margins and you go, what can I do to tweak this? 

And then number four do I have one person on my team who truly owns operations, who truly owns systems or marketing, or is it still living in my brain?

And number five is my calendar designed for the person I am now or the person I want to become. 

And number six, if my current pace or structure stayed exactly the same for the next three years, would I be happy with that? 

If those questions made you a little uncomfortable, that might be a sign that things might need to change. Awareness comes before expansion.

So I want to bring this all home because I think it's really important. Playing Bigger is not about blowing up your life and starting from scratch. It's not about 10Xing in the next 90 days. It's not about becoming who you're not. And it's definitely not about hustling harder. So I want to rewrite this all together. Playing Bigger is not about chasing scale or stacking more than you say you want. It's about building what truly matters and building it. really well. Playing Bigger is not about being everywhere, not doing everything or not being the loudest in the room. It's about being the most intentional in the room. 

It's cleaner, it's clear, it's more focused and playing bigger is saying I'm willing to build the systems today that my future self will think me for. I'm willing to let go of some of the identities or some of the things that make me comfortable but too small for where I'm going and I'm willing to stop calling fear strategy. 

It's about waking up and deciding that I'm not going to let comfort cost me my calling now until the end of the year and even next year because my friend, you don't need more motivation. You just need to operate at a different standard. You need a higher standard and it is why I've decided to go build a few things next year. Do I have everything figured out? gosh, of course not. But do I have a very clear picture of what I want it to look like, how I want to help more people accomplish their goals, whether it's inside of our private coaching or inside of our group programs or along with my partners at Real. I am looking forward to collaborating with more people locally. Hiring more real estate agents in our local market, bringing people together in the same rooms, building side by side, creating spaces where we don't just talk about goals, we architect them. 

And for the last several years, I have consulted, I have coached, and I have helped hundreds and thousands of agents scale their business. And here's the thing, I still love it. I can honestly see myself doing this work for the rest of my life because when you stop building just for income, you start building for impact and you never burn out on the mission, you expand into it. So Playing Bigger for me is about doing fewer things, but better and standing more fully in what I'm here to teach and building an ecosystem of coaching, community collaboration, where agents, entrepreneurs, and partners can grow in a way that actually supports their life, not just highlight reel. 

So as we wrap up, I want to leave you with this one simple question. Where are you playing small in your business right now, even though you know better? Maybe it's a hire you've been delaying. Maybe it's a system you've been saying, I'll build that when things get slow. Maybe it's about getting serious about leverage. It's getting serious about your wealth and it's getting serious about building something just beyond you. Maybe it's betting on you and finally hiring the coach that you need in your world. And I want you to pick just one, one area, not 10, not your whole life, just one and ask, what is that one decision I can make this week that moves me out of playing small into Playing Bigger? Not in theory, in absolute practice, because awareness without action just becomes another form of self-sabotage. 

You know too much to stay where you are and you've worked too hard to stay capped by your own comfort. So Playing Bigger is available to you right now, exactly where you are already with what you have. And the question is, are you willing to raise your standard? Are you willing to Play Bigger? Are you willing to get out of your comfort zone and see your true potential?

I want to thank you for hanging out with me today and tuning into our first episode of The Play Bigger Podcast. I hope today's conversation gave you some insights and some things to think about. I want to send you all the love for the week ahead. Go after those big goals, even if they're scary. And if you are ready to go deeper on strategy and scale your business to the next level, I want you to check out everything that we've got going on letsplaybigger.com because we've got some big things coming for the next year and until next time keep taking action and keep playing bigger my friend.