The Stories We Tell Ourselves About Success

I used to believe success came after reaching a certain milestone—a bigger income, a dream home, or even a Porsche. But when I finally bought the car that had been on my vision board for years, I realized something surprising: achievement doesn't create identity, identity creates achievement.

In this episode, I share the personal story behind that realization and the lessons it taught me about limiting beliefs, investing in yourself, and becoming the person capable of creating the life you want.

Things I Cover

• Why success starts with identity
• Letting go of limiting beliefs
• The power of betting on yourself
• Three mistakes entrepreneurs make
• Four questions to help you grow

If this episode resonated with you, share it with another entrepreneur, subscribe to the Play Bigger Podcast, and leave a review!

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Transcript

We think when I hit six figures, when I hit seven figures, then I will feel successful. Or when I buy that dream house, I will have all the things and be confident But life, let me tell you my friend, doesn't work that way. Achievement doesn't create identity. Identity actually creates achievement.

This weekend, something happened that caught me completely off guard. Not because it was planned, actually, because it wasn't. I found myself making a purchase 20 years ago that I would have never believed was possible. And what's funny, and what happened, I didn't feel any different. I didn't feel successful. I didn't feel richer. I didn't feel like I had made it.

But later that week, my assistant said something to me that stopped me in my tracks. Raquel, do you realize you had this on your vision board for years? That's when I realized that this wasn't a story about buying something. It was a story of letting go of a belief I had been carrying for more than 20 years, and I want to share it all with you.

Welcome back to the Play Bigger Podcast. I'm Raquel Quinet, this podcast is for entrepreneurs who want to build better so that they can play bigger in business and in life. And every week we take real stories from business, leadership, family, sports, AI, and entrepreneurships and turn them into lessons that you can apply in your own life. And today's episode is incredibly personal. And I really debated it a lot.

And today's episode is incredibly personal and I really truly debated on whether or not I was going to publish this episode or even talk about it. Because I think every single one of us has a Porsche. It may not actually be a car, it might be the business you've always wanted, the home you've been dreaming to own, the investment you're afraid to make, the coach you've always wanted to hire, the stage you've dreamed of speaking on whatever it is, we all have something that represents what's possible. And we all have stories we've been telling ourselves about whether or not we're worthy of it. And so I want to take you back when I first got into real estate. I was young, I was hungry, I was driven, and there was a lot of new agents. And I spent more time watching than talking. I watched how top producers carried themselves, how they treated their clients, how they thought, how they dressed, what they drove.

I would look at the parking lot and make the assessments of like one day, one day, I'm gonna own that car. And I remember one top producer in particular, every day he'd pull up into the office in a Porsche. And every single time I think, wow, that's what successful people drive. It really wasn't about the car. I honestly don't, as you if you know me, I don't really care so much about cars.

Cause I'm not a car person, but I do love like nice like brands and cars. But that Porsche became a symbol in my mind, a symbol of success, a symbol of freedom, a symbol of possibility. Because he was our top producer. And here's the dangerous part. Without even realizing it, I created a belief that people like me don't drive cars like that. Like that is way too far fetched. Or it's just too much. Or I don't really need that and one day, if I work hard enough, I may even think about it. It wasn't spoken out loud, it was just something that I thought. And it was something that I consciously thought about, you know, from time to time. But it lives somewhere in the back of my mind. And that's the thing about limiting beliefs. They rarely sound limiting. They just sound so true that it's actually almost believable. 

So fast forward more than twenty years, I've built businesses, I've coached entrepreneurs, I've invested in real estate, I've raised two incredible, amazing boys. And I've experienced incredible highs. I've experienced a lot of failures more than I can even count. And I've started over plenty of times. I've pivoted plenty of times, way more than anybody else, I always say. And honestly, that old dream had faded, not because I had given up, but life just got busy.

Then this weekend, something unexpected happened. My car had reached a point where I couldn't trust it anymore. It wasn't planned. I wasn't shopping for a dream car or another car, I should say. I simply knew it was time. so I started looking. And I was actually even negotiating cars, different cars. I like wasn't attached to any of them during my conference that I had attended. And a few

Hours later, after I flew back into town after the conference, I drove home with a brand new car. My very first Porsche or what they like to say is Porsche. And here's the funny part. I wasn't like super emotional. I didn't want to cry. I didn't really truly feel different. I didn't feel like I had arrived.

But later that week, when I told my assistant, because she obviously had seen some of my emails, my assistant looked at me and smiled and said, Raquel, you've had that car on your vision board for years. And I honestly forgot about it. I hadn't really connected the dots. And so I actually pulled my vision board from my wall. It goes to show how much I look at it. And I said, my gosh. Cause she had asked me what color is it?

And she obviously has access to because we do our vision boards on Canva and so she had access to it. And I realized something in that moment when she said that is like the car wasn't the dream. It was the person I had become. And I think entrepreneurs have it backwards. We think when I hit six figures, when I hit seven figures, then I will feel successful or when I buy that dream house, I will have all the things and be confident or when I get the title at work then people will respect me or when I finally achieve the goal then I'll believe in myself. 

But life, let me tell you my friend, doesn't work that way. Achievement doesn't create identity. Identity actually creates achievement. 

And the car didn't make me look successful. The 20 years of becoming did the early mornings, the setback, the coaching, the failures, the sacrifices, the discipline, The uncomfortable conversations, the constant decisions to keep going, even when you're down, that's what changed me. And the car just revealed it. 

So, one of the greatest lessons I've learned in this is the things you're chasing won't change who you are. They'll actually reveal who you've already become. And that's why people buy the house and still feel empty. They hit the income goal and they still don't feel successful. They get the promotion and immediately start chasing the next one because identity isn't built in achievements as much as we would like to

Think so. And I used to think that for a really long time. It's built in the journey. The next lesson is the most dangerous beliefs aren't the loud ones. I think limiting beliefs grow quietly. They're the ones that you've carried for years. They're the ones that sound like facts. I'm not that kind of person. people like me don't. Or maybe someday, or ask yourself, what belief have you accepted as the truth that

might no longer be the truth. And then the final lesson in all of this is bet on the person you're becoming. Man, people ask me all the time, how do I know when it's time to invest? Whether it's coaching, a mastermind, a business, a hire, or anything else, I've realized something is that the investment is rarely the thing. It's the decision. It's the choice that you make. It's saying, I believe in my future enough to invest in it. And every investment is a vote for the person you're becoming. And just like this situation with this car, was my payment a little bit higher? Did it scare me a little bit? was our business not necessarily in the position to make the decision, right? 

We've had better years. And what I ended up realizing in that moment when I was signing those papers or when I said yes that I was going to come down to the dealership and what I told Brad, my husband, is I was like, Raquel, you're actually betting on yourself. It's not even about the car. It's not even about the car payment. It's about the decision to bet on yourself because you believe something is bigger. And so, become before you receive. Don't chase things. Become someone because when you become the right person, the right opportunities, the relationships, the income, the freedom, they eventually actually catch up. 

And the next time you are chasing a goal, I want you to ask yourself four questions.

• Number one is what story am I currently believing? 
• Number two, where did that story come from?
• And number three, is that story still true today? Or have I already outgrown it? 
• And finally, who do I need to become? 

And that is always my favorite to make it to the next level and to make the next level feel normal. 

That's the real work. And so three mistakes I see entrepreneurs make is:

• No. 1 - believing possessions create success. I know that there are coaches out there believe that. I know they teach on that, but I truly believe that is a mistake that you believe possessions create success. 
• No. 2 - is carrying limiting beliefs far longer than they should. 
• And No. 3 - is waiting for confidence before taking action. 

Confidence isn't found, it's built with one bold decision, one courageous decision at a time. And so, my play bigger challenge for you this week is I want you to think about your quote unquote Porsche or house Just understand that it's not the car, it's the symbol. What's the thing you've placed on a pedestal? The thing you've convinced yourself belongs to other people.

Now ask yourself, what's the story I've been telling myself that's keeping me from it? Because maybe, just maybe, you already become far more capable than you realize. And so when I was a young real estate agent, I thought successful people drove Porsches. And today I see it differently. 

Successful people don't become successful because of what they drive. They become successful because they became the person they choose to become every single day. The car was never the reward. The growth was the discipline was the resilience was and the courage to keep betting on myself was. And that's what I'm celebrating today with all of you. And that's what I hope to celebrate with you as well. Because the greatest investment you'll ever make, of course, is not a car, it's not a house, and it's not even a business or even a coach.

It's in becoming the person capable of creating all those things, and when you focus on the journey and when you focus on becoming, the receiving eventually takes care of itself. Thank you so much for hanging out with me on another quick episode and spending a part of your day with me. 

And if this episode resonated with you, I'd love for you to share it with another entrepreneur who needs to hear it. And if you're ready to build systems, build your mindset and business that create more freedom, I'd love for you to visit www.letsplaybigger.com because you know we always have special things going on or send me a DM. And until next time, I want you to build better, Play Bigger, not only in business, but in life too, my friend.