What If It's Better?

What if the opportunity you keep talking yourself out of isn’t actually misaligned—but simply unfamiliar?

In this episode, I’m challenging one of the biggest traps I see in successful entrepreneurs and real estate agents: confusing discomfort with discernment. Sometimes we tell ourselves we’re protecting our time, staying focused, or waiting for the “right” opportunity when, underneath it all, we’re simply afraid to step into something we’ve never done before.

I share a recent opportunity that stretched me outside my comfort zone and forced me to become a beginner again. It reminded me that growth doesn’t always come with a guaranteed ROI, a clear path, or certainty. Sometimes the return is a new skill, relationship, perspective, confidence—or simply the clarity to know what’s not for you.

Most importantly, I want you to start asking a different question. Instead of “What if this doesn’t work?” ask yourself:

“What if it’s better?”

Because your next level may require a version of you that doesn’t exist yet.

Things I Cover:

• How to tell the difference between misalignment and discomfort
• Why success can make fear sound more logical and sophisticated
• Why your next level may require you to become a beginner again
• Why you don’t need to know the payoff before you say yes
• The different forms of ROI beyond money
• How to stop prejudging opportunities before gathering evidence
• Four questions to ask when you’re tempted to say no
• Three common entrepreneur mistakes that keep you playing smaller
• How to give possibility the same attention you give fear
• My Play Bigger Challenge for the week: identifying one opportunity you may be talking yourself out of

Your Play Bigger Challenge

Think of one thing you’ve been talking yourself out of. Write down every reason you’ve been saying no, then ask yourself:

Fear or fact?
Evidence or assumption?
Misalignment or discomfort?
What’s the smallest step I can take to find out?

Maybe you don’t need to say yes yet. Maybe you simply need to stop saying no before you have all the information.

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Transcript

Sometimes we think we're using discernment when we're actually just uncomfortable. Sometimes we think we're protecting our focus when really we're protecting our comfort zone. And if you're not careful, we talk ourselves out of the very opportunities that were meant to stretch us into the next level.

Have you ever had an opportunity come your way that you have been excited about, but instead you immediately start thinking about all the reasons you shouldn't do it? The timing isn't right. I already have so much going on, Raquel. I've never done anything like this before. Maybe I should stay focused. Maybe it isn't aligned. And if you've ever done this, I want you to listen today because sometimes we think we're using discernment when we're actually just uncomfortable. Sometimes we think we're protecting our focus when really we're protecting our comfort zone. And if you're not careful, we talk ourselves out of the very opportunities that were meant to stretch us into the next level. So today I want to challenge one of the questions we all ask ourselves all the time: what if this doesn't work? And replace it with something completely different, like, what if it turns out better? Let's dive in. 

Welcome to the Play Bigger Podcast. I'm Raquel Quinet, this podcast is for entrepreneurs and real estate agents who want to build better businesses, create more freedom, and ultimately Play Bigger in business and in life. And this week I caught myself doing the same exact thing that I am talking about. A while back, I was approached by a virtual assistant company. They wanted me to train their company on AI. And when the opportunity first came up, my reaction was me, which makes logically no sense.

Because I have been teaching entrepreneurs for years. I have coached thousands of agents. I have scaled and built businesses. I have led companies and I have spent a tremendous amount of time learning AI and systems that build better businesses.

So it wasn't that I didn't know the subject. There was one little problem. I had never done this before. I have never trained an entire company of virtual assistants. and that one distinction was enough for my brain to start building a case against the opportunity. Is this where I really want to spend my time? Does this fit to what I'm building?

Do I really want to add something else to my plate? Should I actually stay focused? And listen, these are all great questions. I don't believe you should say yes to every opportunity. Actually, as you become more successful, one of the most important skills you develop is saying no. But when I really sat with this one, I realized; there wasn't anything wrong with the opportunity. I was just uncomfortable because I had never done it before. And those are two very different things. I started thinking about how often we do this in business. 

Maybe somebody approaches us about a partnership. Maybe you've been asked to speak. Maybe there's a mastermind that you've been considering. Maybe you just need to know how to start creating content and be consistent. Maybe there's a new technology or AI tool that you need to learn. And maybe you're thinking about building a team. And maybe there's a room you've been invited to, but you're wondering, do I really belong there? And before you even explore the opportunity, you had already built a case against it. We tell ourselves, I'm being responsible, I'm protecting my time, I'm staying focused. This isn't a line. But sometimes underneath all of this is a much simpler truth. I'm scared.

And here's what's interesting. Success doesn't eliminate fear. And sometimes it makes fear sound smarter and when you're starting out, fear kind of sounds like this. What if I fail, Raquel? What if nobody buys it? What if I look stupid? What if I never get a client? But when you have achieved some success, fear gets a little bit more sophisticated. Now it sounds like I need to protect my focus. The timing isn't right. That's really not my lane. I don't think this is a line. Sometimes those things are absolutely true, but sometimes it's fear wearing a really expensive outfit.

Fear can sound incredibly logical. And the more successful you become, the easier it is to stay inside of the things you're already good at. Because competence feels good. You know what you're already doing. You know how to win. People come to you for answers. Then something comes along the way that requires you to become a beginner again. Now you don't know everything. You have to ask questions, you have to learn.

You now might not be the smartest person in the room. And I think that's where successful people can accidentally start playing smaller. Yes, playing smaller. Not because they've lost ambition, but because they've gotten comfortable with being competent. So ask yourself: when was the last time you willingly did something you were not really good at. Your next level, believe it or not, may require you to become a beginner again. 

And lesson number two is you don't need to know the payoff before you begin. I ultimately said yes to this company, but then I had to figure it out. I had to understand their business. I had to understand their people. And I had to take everything that I knew about AI and look at it from a completely different perspective.

Instead of asking how does an entrepreneur use AI, I started asking how does the person supporting that entrepreneur use AI? How can an assistant become even more valuable? How can they increase their output? How can they better understand the person they're supporting? And how can AI help the entire business operate better? And you know what? I loved it. It stretched me. It made me better at what I actually do. It showed me opportunities that I couldn't even see before I said yes. But here's the important part, even if I had finished and said I never want to do this again, I still would have won. Because now I actually know what I like. And we in business often think that everything needs to come with a guaranteed ROI. If I take this meeting, where's it going? If I make this investment, will I make it back? If I join this room, what am I gonna get? If I say yes, what does it become? And sometimes you don't know, and that's okay.

But sometimes the return isn't money, believe it or not. Sometimes it's a relationship. Sometimes it's a skill, confidence, access, information. Sometimes it's just clarity and simply discovering that's not for me. And that is still valuable. There's a huge difference between saying that's not for me because I've experienced it and decided it wasn't, and saying that's not for me because I was too afraid to find out. 

And lesson number three is your next level requires a version of you that doesn't even exist yet. This might be the very biggest lesson because we evaluate future opportunities using current capabilities. Have I done this before? Do I know how to do it? Am I qualified? Is this what people know me for? But think about how backward that is. If you're trying to create something you've never created before, why would today's version of you already know everything required to get you there? You wouldn't.

That's the whole point of growth and entrepreneurship. There are things I know today that the Raquel from five years ago couldn't have done. And there are things I want to build in the next five years that today's Raquel doesn't even know how to do it. And I actually love that because it means I'm not yet done. And neither are you, my friend. So

Never become so attached to being the expert that you lose your willingness to become the student. And here's the playbaker principle I want you to remember. Give possibility the same amount of attention you would give fear. We're incredibly good at imagining what could go wrong. Trust me, I am guilty. But what if I waste money? What if I waste my time?

What if I fail? What if no one buys it? What if I never get a client? What if I regret it? What if it doesn't become anything? Okay, those are all possible. But I want you to finish this exercise. What if it's better? What if you love it? What if you're really good at it? What if you meet your next business partner? What if you create another revenue stream? What if you learn something that completely changes the way you do business today? And what if you meet someone that changes your trajectory? And what if it creates freedom?

And what if the thing you're scared to try introduces you to another version of yourself that you haven't even met yet? I'm not telling you to ignore risk, trust me. I'm telling you to give possibility a seat at the table. So the next time an opportunity shows up and your instinct is immediately to pull away.

I want you to ask yourself four questions. Number one, is it misaligned or is it just unfamiliar? Those are not the same thing. And number two, am I protecting my focus or protecting my comfort? Be honest. And number three is what is the smallest way I can test this? Take the meeting, try the project, attend the event, have the conversation, join the room, experiment. You don't have to make everything permanent. Give evidence before you decide. Trust me, I have been in those situations.

And number four, what if it's better? What becomes possible if this actually works? What might you learn? What might you meet? And more importantly, what might you become? Three entrepreneur mistakes that I see that happens is:

• number one is confusing discomfort with misalignment. Just because something is uncomfortable doesn't mean it's wrong. Growth is uncomfortable. Being a beginner is uncomfortable. 
• And mistake number two is needing certainty before taking action. Sometimes clarity doesn't come before the first step. Clarity comes because you took the first step. 
• And mistake number three is prejudging opportunities. Don't decide you're bad at something because you've never tried it. Don't decide a room isn't for you before you've even walked into it. And don't decide you can't build something because you don't know how to build it yet. Go gather the evidence and then decide. So y'all know I love to give you a play bigger challenge.

So here's your challenge of the week: think about one thing, just one, you've been talking yourself out of. Not 10, one. Maybe it's a partnership, a new business. Maybe it's hiring somebody. Maybe it's joining a room. Maybe it's making an investment. Maybe it's learning AI. Maybe it's even starting a podcast. Or maybe it's finally pushing something you've been thinking about for years. I want you to write it down every reason you've been telling yourself no and then look at each one and ask fear or fact evidence or assumption misalignment or is it really discomfort? And finally, what's the smallest step I could take to find out? Maybe you don't need to say yes. Maybe you just need to stop saying no.

Before you have all the information. I don't know exactly where saying yes to this opportunity will ultimately lead. Maybe it is something much bigger, maybe it doesn't. But I already know that when saying yes, it gives you this feeling, it stretches you, it teaches you, it taught me better, it showed me another way.

That I could help people. And it opened my mind to possibilities that I wouldn't have seen if I stayed inside of what I already knew. That's what I want to leave with you today is be careful that the success you've already created doesn't become the reason you're too comfortable to discover what's next. You can be grateful for what you build and still want more. You can be proud of what you become and still be curious about who else you can become. And you can protect your focus without protecting yourself from growth. So use discernment. Protect your priorities. Say no when something genuinely isn't right for you. But the next time your brain starts listing everything that could go wrong, I want you to stop. Give possibility a seat at the table and ask yourself: but what if it's better? What if what's on the other side isn't failure? What if it's growth? What if it's an opportunity? What if it's your next chapter? What if it's the version of you that you haven't even met yet? You will never know by thinking about it forever.

Sometimes you just have to go and find out and that's our Play Bigger challenge this week. I want to thank you all for listening to me on another quick episode and if you ever want to know what's going on inside of our community, I want you to go to www.letsplaybigger.com and until next time, build better, Play Bigger in business and in life.