The Whole Shebang

59. How To Take a Leap and Change Your Life | Kim Rogne

• Jennifer Briggs • Season 1 • Episode 59

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It's possible to be addicted to "drama," to the fast-paced life, the need to fix things, the chaos that in one way makes you come alive, and in other burns you out. And that's all great... until life happens. Traumatic injury, burn-out, loss - those are just a few examples of the curveballs life throws that can cause us to take a good hard look at what we're ACTUALLY doing here.   

In today's episode you'll hear Kim share why and how she took a big leap from her CEO position to launching her own business. She shares how learning to slow down in the midst of chaos brought her clarity, what she did to realign her life with her values, how we overcame limiting beliefs, and how she's guiding others to find their path forward including one of her niche's with working moms and navigating the guilt of not doing IT ALL perfectly.

There's lots of goodness here for you.  Enjoy, Loves!
xx - Jen

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CHAPTERS
0:00 Introduction
02:10 Taking the Leap: Kim's Big Change
09:24 Feeling Trapped and Finding Freedom
12:13 Living in Constant Chaos
19:45 The Power of Words
23:06 More Than My Hair: Self-Discovery
26:07 Journaling for Mindset and Confidence
28:08 Impact and Connection: Sharing the Journey
30:00 Embracing New Opportunities
31:56 Finding Balance Between Work and Personal Life
36:16 The Transformative Power of Journaling and Mindset
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Kim Rogne
Kim is a keynote and motivational speaker, leadership and entrepreneurial trainer, respected thought leader in the mindset space and number one bestselling author. She spent 25 years in broker management and is a prolific business and real estate investor. Kim transitioned smoothly out of that space and into a highly sought and successful coaching and speaking business when she began her business, For the Love Of. The purpose of her company is to inspire, empower and promote action so that you can live your best For the Love Of life. You'll find this wife, mother, friend, voracious learner and a life adventurer to be an immediate spark and motivator in your life!

Resources
FREE Mini-Course: - Overwhelmed to Organized: A Working Mom's Mini-Course for Designing A Balanced Life
FREE Download: Overwhelmed to Organized: The Mini-Blueprint for Designing A Balanced Life
FREE Download: Thriving as A Working Mom; Quick guide for Balance & Success
6 Week Course Information:  Full 6 Week Course. EARLY BIRD pricing is open. Starts September 19th

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Speaker 1:

What do I want for the second half of my best life, as I call it? I'm sitting here in this space right now actually doing things without judgment or without having to ask everybody. People will say to me we should do that, but they're not doing it. It was just a choice that we made. I was like I am tired of always saying we should or having to get other people's opinions. Let's just do it. If it's not right and it doesn't work out, we can still do something else. We don't always need to know 100% that it's right, but if we don't try it, then we'll just be talking about it all the time.

Speaker 2:

Welcome to the Whole Shebang. I'm Jen Briggs your host.

Speaker 2:

Let me tell you what you're in for here. Many of us have been running at breakneck speed, functioning mostly in our heads, and we've suffered from disconnection, burnout and lost passions. I believe it's because we functioned in part and not in whole. So we're exploring a new path, embracing intuition, creativity, playfulness and connection in all of life. It's vibrant, powerful and magnetic. So come on with me and buckle up Buttercups. We're diving in.

Speaker 2:

This episode couldn't have come at a better time, in my opinion. In a week where many of us have either just launched our kids off to school or about to do so, many of us are reflecting or trudging through, working out this, I'm going to say, balance of parenthood, motherhood, figuring out what our dharma is. Our purpose is how to integrate that with work life and have this sort of work life balance. So Kim Rogni is a friend of mine and a colleague in the same industry. We held the same position for many years and shared some of the same joys and challenges within it, and this episode we dive into that. You'll hear why she made a big leap and transition from that role into her previous, from her previous career and into coaching, and how she did it. How to align with your core beliefs as you make those tough decisions. How to use journaling as a tool for mindset shifts and confidence growth. The importance of slowing down and creating space that allows for those new opportunities to come in, finding that balance between work life and motherhood and embracing true self-worth so that you can really find fulfillment in the roles that you have.

Speaker 2:

There's a lot more in here. I think you're going to take plenty from it. So let me tell you a little bit about Kim. Kim Rogney is a keynote and motivational speaker, leadership and entrepreneurial trainer, respected thought leader in the mindset space and number one bestselling author. She spent 25 years in sales broker management and is a prolific business and real estate investor. Kim transitioned smoothly out of that space and into a highly sought and successful coaching and speaking business when she began, for the Love Of. The purpose of her company is to inspire, empower and promote action so that you can live your best For the Love Of life. You'll find this wife, mother, friend, voracious learner and a life adventurer to be an immediate spark and motivator in your life, and I couldn't agree with all of those words more. She brings a lot of laughter to this conversation. Deep insight, I believe that you'll be nourished by it. All right loves, enjoy. Welcome to the whole shebang, kim.

Speaker 1:

Thanks for having me. I'm super excited.

Speaker 2:

It's fun, I feel like these conversations where we have you reach out to me cause you're like, hey, I think we have some things in common. It would be fun to connect and and I care, I don't want to put words in your mouth, I can't remember exactly how you put it, but just kind of this, like we're not in this alone feeling, yeah, and so maybe let's let's start there. Let's talk about where, where you're at and what we're not alone in.

Speaker 1:

I think I'm a little older than you, so I'm 51.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I'm 42. Since we're disclosing should we talk about height?

Speaker 1:

We'll leave the menopause for a different, uh, different one, maybe a different podcast, Sure, Um, yeah. And so what brought me here today? I think age. I mean I'm not going to pretend like age doesn't matter, because it does matter and it really matters. As a working mom, and when your kids get to that stage where both of them are in college, well, one's graduated now and really thinking, okay, what do I want for the second half of my best life, as I call it? And so, really, what brought me here today is just, you know, like I'm sitting here in this space right now and it's actually doing things without judgment, or doing things without having to ask everybody. So we sold our home that we raised our girls in in the suburbs of Milwaukee, Wisconsin, and pulled the trigger and bought a condo in downtown overlooking the river.

Speaker 1:

And what's so funny about that, Jen, is, whenever I share that story, I repeatedly get the same response. People will say to me oh, I think I want to do that or we should do that, but they're not doing it. And so it was just a choice that we made. I was like I am tired of always saying we should or having to get other people's opinions and I'm like let's just do it. And here's the thing If it's not right and it doesn't work out, we can sell and go do something else. We don't always need to know 100% that it's right, but if we don't try it, then we'll just be talking about it all the time, and so it's just that's what I'm doing now. I'm like okay, I'm going to go do it, You're in this big change, like you've leapt.

Speaker 2:

Okay, so we've both taken these big leaps in the last. When was your big leap? And then we're going to go back and talk about what it was. How long ago was that?

Speaker 1:

So November of 2022, I gave notice to a position that I had been in um running a brokerage and really I had been in that position with that particular brokerage for seven years, but prior to that, three years with another brokerage, running a brokerage a hundred percent on salary, Like I hadn't prior to that.

Speaker 2:

I was a CEO, so you're a CEO. So for people that don't know that world, you're you're managing CEO of a large company. Yeah, okay, correct.

Speaker 1:

And so on salary and November of 2022,. I gave notice, a two month notice, and said I'm going to be retiring from this role. And people did say to me, well, what do you plan on doing? And I'm like I don't know, but I believe I'll figure it out, and so a big leap, and also a big leap for our family at that time two kids in college, can I?

Speaker 2:

pause you there. Yeah, look, can you. If you can go back to that time when you were taking that leap, do you you recall the kind of responses that you got and how you were feeling? What were the different feelings and thoughts you were having at that time?

Speaker 1:

Well, first of all, I was very blessed to be with a company where I knew a lot of people, and so my brain first goes to tactical. So I went very tactical and so I decided I would reach out to everybody, that I knew everybody I didn't care and just find out if there was an opportunity.

Speaker 2:

A different job opportunity.

Speaker 1:

Correct A different job opportunity. I had 57 conversations. I tracked it in a Google spreadsheet because I started losing track. Okay, Says the CEO. Yeah, correct, Of course I did Right.

Speaker 1:

And then here's what happened. I had somebody text me and said and they said to me um, I would hire you as a coach. And it was a top person who was a CEO of another business. And I said I don't know if I want to start my own business. I think I'm so used to being attached to a company. I hadn't been on my own for over 10 years.

Speaker 1:

She's like but I'd pay you and I don't know why I needed to hear that. But when she said that, I was like okay, wait a second, I can go start my own thing. But I didn't really think I was going to right away. I thought I would go kind of do the same thing, but maybe differently, or maybe a different team or a different, you know, avenue within the company. And I that text, just it gave me the belief like I'm going to go figure it out, I'm going to go start something. And luckily I had the backing and support of my spouse, because otherwise I wouldn't be able to, because our household depended on my income, and so, um, that's what did it, and I have shared that with her since then. I've been like, because you said that I went and decided to start with coaching, and so that's just what I started with.

Speaker 2:

Our words are so powerful Sometimes we just don't know when we're, when we're speaking them to other people, how powerful just a few words can be. Okay, I feel like I should have started here, but I want to. I'm just. We're just going to keep walking backwards, if you don't mind, and part of why I'm doing this is a little bit selfish, to be honest, because I because, back to this point of like, we're not alone.

Speaker 2:

I'm in this same boat with you, having taken a leap or moving out. Some of it wasn't my choice and some of it was right and or a lot of it was because I could have taken other opportunities, but I chose to walk this path, cause I could have taken other opportunities, but I chose to walk this path. And so in that, like today as we speak, I'm meeting some inner resistance, I'm meeting some outer resistance and reminded of the, the myriad of feelings and things that lead up to that. And so, if we can even go backwards a little bit and talk about, like, what led to your decision to retire from that position and how did you know that was the right thing for you?

Speaker 1:

Well, a couple of things. Um January of 2022, I was in a skiing accident and so I was out in Breckenridge, colorado, with my groom of now almost 26 years and my youngest daughter my youngest daughter and um fell and it was kind of funny. There's a whole back funny story. My daughter, raina, took a picture, snapchatted it to her sister, maya, like mom down it was always funny, like mom's always down, but mom wasn't getting back up. So it was like abort, abort, abort. The Snapchat. She's not getting back up.

Speaker 1:

So I ended up breaking my tibia, my fibula shattered my ankle, had to have surgery out there, got a rod in my leg and screws and all these things. But what it did was it forced me to slow down and I hadn't slowed down for over 10 years and I was forced to heal and slow down. And what was really sad about it? Because as much as I was working for a large company, I was working for a small company In the real estate world. It can be a brokerage of 200 bodies, but really it's very small because there's like six people running this company and the rest are all independent contractors and for whatever reason Jen, I kid you not, it was less than 14 days and I was on a zoom. I was working, working, working, and it's no judgment on them and it's no judgment on me, but it's all we know in that industry.

Speaker 1:

And nobody said, like go home, kim, you cannot put weight on your leg for 10 weeks. How about don't come back? For 10 weeks? Nobody said that to me and I didn't say to myself. And so that happened on January 27th and I'm on a zoom, like on February 8th, trying to recruit somebody, like what is wrong with that? So I went through all that time. It was March 1st. It was March 1st I sat down with my OP, one of the investors, for those that don't know that world and I said you want to know what you know?

Speaker 1:

what doesn't work for me is I have no numbers to report because we were held accountable to the recruiting numbers. I said I think I actually need a leave of absence, but I didn't take it from day one. I took it when it was the point where I had to report numbers and I had zero numbers to report. I was like I haven't had one recruiting appointment. Well, duh, I had a traumatic accident, traumatic. So I ended up taking a leave of absence for six weeks. Should have been the beginning, but that's okay.

Speaker 2:

And during that. What lesson do you take from that? If you look at that, it should have been from the beginning. What do you? What did you learn about yourself or what? What would you carry with you moving forward now, doing differently?

Speaker 1:

Well, one, running my own company. If I ever haven't one of my staff members have anything that happens in their life, it doesn't even have to be a broken leg to give them time. We're humans, we're not robots, we're humans. And so that's one for me as I continue to build my company. And then two, never allowing myself to get to that place again, that place of almost chaos, right, like only knowing how to live in chaos. I only knew how to live in constant chaos, and so it's also being self-aware about who I am and what I might need mentally or physically. So those are two lessons that I learned, yeah.

Speaker 2:

When you say chaos, what do you mean by that? Living in chaos?

Speaker 1:

Well, I'm a very passionate person. Some may call it dramatic.

Speaker 2:

I call it juicy. I'm going with juicy.

Speaker 1:

Right.

Speaker 1:

I, I, I'm Italian, I speak with my hands, I become very passionate about whatever subjects. I believe I'm an Aries, um, and so I think, for the last you know, before starting this business, for the last 10 years, I would get very passionate about the task at hand as well as passionate about having to be in the know all the time, which can be very drama filled, and I, when I say, like chaos, that's part of it, it's the drama, it's being in the know, it's a fixer right Like give me all the action packed.

Speaker 2:

To me it's almost like an action packed movie, just like, just like addicted to this. The pace and the action and the yeah, yeah Okay.

Speaker 1:

Gotcha, all of that and also always having to fix it. What did you gain from that? Yeah, well, I would say some of that is helpful. Now. I mean it's you know, as a coach and a speaker. It's not that I necessarily need to fix because I don't, I don't know.

Speaker 1:

It takes time, right, takes time to figure out who we want to be and what we want to do, and it's also it takes time, I believe, to also be honest about your true self, like it's. It's really hard in a world where it's all about how we look and we show up, and you know I'm I'm on social media. It's one of my lead gen lovers. It's one of the things I committed to when I started this business. But it's finding the balance between being honest and you know fake, because we have to show up a certain way where we feel like and you know fake because we have to show up a certain way where we feel like we. You know we'll be compared like the comparison trap, and so there's so much that I learned from that the traumatic accident, the slowdown, and then really being honest with myself on what I wanted to do next and being okay with not knowing all the answers and trusting in myself that I would figure it out.

Speaker 2:

That's huge. Yeah, Was there just like a moment when something and you just clicked and you're like that's it? Did you have a moment in time when you were like I got to make this decision now. Did something click for you, or was it kind of a long, a slow burn leading up to that?

Speaker 1:

I think it was. So, you figure, I came back to work. I can't remember if it was May 1st. Um, at first I came back like I'm going to hit the ground running right, Like I'm going to do this. I actually signed up for a course. It's called the 30, 60, 90. It's like a bootcamp. I was like put me in the bootcamp.

Speaker 2:

So you came back from this traumatic injury and then you were like I'll take bootcamp please.

Speaker 1:

Yes, exactly, sign me up for the bootcamp every day. Right, I got to go, prove my numbers. I got to prove that I can do this. I also, jen.

Speaker 1:

I remember having a conversation with my coach and as much as I went through that, I said to her I think I'm trapped. I remember saying to her I'm trapped because I don't know what I will do if I leave this position and I need to make money. I'm not going to lie Like it's, it's great to be like all flowery and be like look at me, I'm going to go and build my business or my podcast, or I'm going to get online and I'm going to sell this, but the fact of the matter is I need to make money, like I am an integral part of my family and where we are, and I don't want to give up this lifestyle, but we work so hard to build. So I said to her I'm trapped, I think I have to stay here. And she's like you're not, you're not trapped.

Speaker 1:

And so that was a mindset I needed to get past. I needed to, like I said before, like really trust that now I had the skillset. If I get my mindset right, if I really concentrate on it, I studied this new craft. I, I can do this. Like I've been running a multi million dollar company. Like, what are you not understanding here, girlfriend? Like you can figure it out. And so after I went through that whole course and then I felt like I was back where I was before. I was like here I am again. Nothing has changed. I'm the gerbil on the wheel here. I am Like is this really what I want to continue doing? And I just was like no, and there were some things I mean to be really honest there were some things that were happening that weren't in alignment with my core beliefs, and that was also something that I felt I needed to walk away from. So it was kind of a combination of everything.

Speaker 2:

Bravo to you for having the courage to get, um, get real with, like, who you are and what you value.

Speaker 2:

I think that's a really hard thing sometimes, especially like when we are on the wheel and we are at least and I can speak for myself you're in a public, a public light, and representing another brand or another business, and there is an element of let me fit into a box Not that anybody's shoving me in it, but I know that I need to in order to represent that well.

Speaker 2:

And so to, I'm identifying with, or empathizing, or feeling nourished by what you're saying, because because it takes a lot of courage, I think, to step into, to step out of something that feels safe and certain and to step into something that feels uncertain and exhilarating but also requires, or or invites I would say invites you to be a more whole version of self.

Speaker 2:

Then that's like you know, you said, it's like oh, this is fun, I'm starting a new thing, but it's also effing scary, and it's also really hard to go against the grain and do things that that look unexpected or that seem unexpected. But I do think and part of why I wanted to draw some of this out of your experience, is because I think that there are a lot more people that are sitting in that same place that are like is this what I'm doing with my life, and can I actually do it different? Because I feel trapped and I feel stuck, and so thank you for just like opening that up and allowing people to see a little bit behind what's going on, because I do think that'll free things up for people that are listening to this too.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, that's so good, and it's just I. One of the things I did, too, when I was healing is I took every single assessment possible. I was like I'm going to go do revisit my Enneagram, I'm going to go do the Dave Ramsey one, I'm going to go figure out what my animal spirit is, and that's just me.

Speaker 2:

I'm a natural learner Again.

Speaker 1:

It's almost like I needed the proof, Right and over and over and over again. It was your leader, you, you are a, you lift people up, you inspire people. You're, you know, not afraid, You're a quick start. You do over and over and over and over again and I was like okay it's here.

Speaker 2:

The evidence is here.

Speaker 1:

I think, too, that that can help anybody who's struggling to figure out what their next is. They know they have more. They know they want something different. They know that they're not quite fulfilled. What and what they're doing is, I think, also taking some time to really self-discover one what you are naturally good at, but also what you I don't know fills your energy and gives you joy. It felt good to choose what all of those reports were telling me and how there was so much alignment, and to kind of pull out the word. Sometimes we cannot articulate what our natural strengths and talents are, let alone be able to go do something with it. Right, like what do I do with this, what do I do with this information, and how do I go make a difference in a greater way and make money with it as well?

Speaker 2:

Mm-hmm, yeah, that's the perfect Venn diagram. What am I good at? How can I serve? How can I make money doing all the three things? I'm like that's, that's the sweet spot, right, and it's it's so interesting. Both you and I were in a position we were coaching hundreds of entrepreneurs, if not thousands, over the years, right, coaching them, teaching them, training large rooms of people, yeah, and, and then still stepping into the entrepreneurial box. Again for me, again for you, right Again. I mean, did you sell too? I'm not sure.

Speaker 1:

I haven't. No, I mean I did for the first 15 years, but I haven't sold since like 2010.

Speaker 2:

Since then. Okay, yeah, so, but you were entrepreneurial then and and then you coach entrepreneurs and then stepping back in it there still is this like can I really do this? And the truth is, you can, I can, I believe people can, we, we're doing it. Where this is, this is we're living in a culture and in a time, with technology, where we can do any of this, but it's. It is interesting to me, and just like validating that, that people from all facets still have very human, human responses, human fears, human feel will.

Speaker 2:

Will I still belong? Will I be outcast? Will I succeed? What will people think? Like there's, there's that whole side of it. That is not that I probably don't talk about. Maybe enough, because I am really also in, I would say, sort of an incubated phase in what I'm doing, where and it's interesting, on a podcast, although it's really public, there's not a ton of feedback coming at me, so it feels relatively safe for me to keep just putting it out there. And when I get the feedback, that's like, what are you doing? She's changing so quick? Well, she used to do that. Why is she doing this? I'm like, but I'm still a baby, I'm still an infant, don't come at me yet.

Speaker 2:

It's an incubative phase, when you're working through the front end, I think of building any business. It takes time, even though we have a lot of history to lean on. So just kind of a share on my end, I guess, to identify or maybe that's not exactly how you felt, but that's a bit of what I've experienced in this journey.

Speaker 1:

No, I did, and I still do, two of the things that I decided to do. Day one when I started this business, as I said, I will hire a social media manager I had to reinvent myself locally first, so that, like, if I did reach out to somebody that I believed would fit into my world and we'd be a great fit for each other, I needed them to actually take my call. So I was like I need to go reinvent myself social media. So that was the first thing I knew I was going to invest in right away.

Speaker 1:

And then this and it kind of like you, you put yourself out there, you can get all the likes in the world, but you're not really getting feedback. You're not. You're like is it working? Are these people who are in? I don't even know. And then the second thing was I decided I was like, okay, I'm going to journal every day, I'm going to get my mindset right. My word of the year in 2023 was confidence, and I was like I cannot do this unless I internally like my cells from the inside out. It's one thing to show up with great lipstick and great hair I make fun of my hair all the time because all I ever hear about your hair and I'm sure you get it with the color of your hair, because my girls have strawberry blonde hair I have.

Speaker 1:

I've had to teach them to accept the compliments about their hair because they literally get it all the time. Yeah and so I get it all the time. Yeah and so I get it all the time. But like I'm more than my hair, this is going on a reel.

Speaker 2:

for sure, listen, I am more than my hair. Right, unless Pantene wants to hire me, then it's all going to be all about my hair.

Speaker 1:

But I knew that I needed to like. It detoted my core of confidence and so I was like, okay, this journaling thing that I kind of have done, kind of I call it the um, inconsistent, consistent journaler that was the inconsistent piles of them. So every day, every day, every day, I literally have it in front of me. I was like this this is the shabby little thing Every day I will let go of, I will let go of, I will let go of, I am, I am, I am, and it's fun to read back on it. But I was like, dang it, that crap works.

Speaker 2:

So those were the two sort of prompts you used for yourself I will let go of. So those were the two sort of prompts you used for yourself. I will let go of.

Speaker 1:

And then you listed out and I am, and listed out I did, the um I will let go of, I am grateful for, I will focus on and I still I. I took those from an interview that I feel like hell Alrod had of whoever wrote the book. Um, it's not, I know he wrote the miracle morning, but it was like the five minute morning. It was very um, congruent to his teachings, right. And then eventually it morphed over time because I started sharing my journal entries, um, with a girlfriend of mine who is battling ALS. She's four years into ALS right now. She used to be one of my leadership team members and we would send each other pictures, and so then we ended up coming up with six journal entries and we held each other accountable to it and we would share. Like you know, I I will you know release comparing myself to others, and she, she would say I will you know release having to rely on my husband, I will take in gratitude, and literally I would get journal entries from her. It would be I will take in gratitude for getting my feeding tube, and so she would. We would send each other pictures of our journal entries and it just became this journey that I did not expect to happen. It's just she reached out. She said what are you doing? I want to be held accountable to my mindset. And I'm like I don't know I'm doing this thing that these people say is going to work, like let's just do it together and see if it works. And it here's the other thing when you don't live in constant chaos, you do take a moment to actually slow down and listen. And so we were. I was, we were sharing it, and then I would tell her story. And then, jen, it was so amazing Unsolicited people would send me pictures of their journal entries.

Speaker 1:

What? Yeah, it was so weird. I'm talking grown men in their sixties who were feeling like they needed to release, they needed to take in gratitude. I, it was weird, right. And so then then they were like you know, you should print that in a journal. And I'm like, okay, well, that really wasn't on my GPS or my plan, but I'm going to listen, I'm going to slow down and listen to what others are telling me. And, sure enough, that's what I did. I ended up publishing my own for the love of self journal, and but it was because I listened and I didn't question, and it just that's what that whole piece of my business, how it came about, but it wasn't on my plan.

Speaker 2:

That's so cool, like you said. I just want to pause and sort of emphasize that. Like the, the slowing down, moving out of the chaos, creating space is also what I'm hearing you say Like there was space in there for things to grow and be birthed. I think we, when we're living in that chaos and we're so busy, it can. I just feel like it smothers any seed that could have an otherwise an opportunity to grow or just doesn't leave room for that. So and you've said this a couple of times in our conversation the phrase quit. You were a quick start and now you're not as much of a quick start. Can you talk about what that means and how you're different now than you were then?

Speaker 1:

So I would say the piece that I still um, when I talk about being a quick start, is I'm not fearful to try something new.

Speaker 1:

So I still feel confident about that, because sometimes we could be the opposite and we're like, oh, I have to have all of this information to start, um. And so recently I was talking to Um, and so recently I was talking to Savannah, my social media manager, and I had said to her I said listen, I think I want to, I think I want to build up this course for working moms, because I'm I'm hearing and really listening and analyzing the data that I get when I go speak and when I coach, and there seems to be this common theme that, for whatever reason, I'm attracting entrepreneurial, high achieving working moms and I wanted to kind of push it away. I'll be honest, like I'm like no, I don't want to just speak to women's groups. They're going to be all like softy and they're going to want to cry, yeah, and I don't want to just cry. I don't know why. I don't know why I felt this way.

Speaker 2:

I used to feel this way too and I feel like, if I'm just going to bring in my whole like framework of the masculine feminine, I was so in the masculine mode of going, I was a uncomfortable with it, but I also, I also wanted to be. I'm not I'm not putting this on you, I'm just reflecting my experience. I perceived that if I was focusing on the female conversation or the working mom's conversation, that I wouldn't be invited to the room with men. Yes, that I would be excluded from the other conversations If I started niching myself into she's she's doing the mom thing, and so I I even didn't.

Speaker 2:

I didn't really go to mom's groups when my kids were little. I didn't, because I didn't want to sit around and talk about diaper changing. I wanted to talk about leadership and business and and all of that stuff. And there's a part of me even just saying it now that is a little like oh, that's sad, like I missed. I missed out on some sisterhood in that, and I think there is a way to. I hope that there is a way that we can in our society have both, that there is this need for women that are working and high producing to have a sense of connectedness and maybe a safe space to cry but also to talk about how we can kick ass you know, like, yes, I was the same way.

Speaker 1:

I didn't go to anything, I hated it. Well, first of all, I wouldn't, okay, so. But I didn't even make any real, true connections. And there had to be other high achieving women who believed and wanted to also feel whole. Here's the deal.

Speaker 1:

When I work, I'm a whole person. Like I have a gift I have I want to help people, I, I want to speak, I want to publish, I want to create. And then when I take that away, and then I and not to disparage anybody who chooses to be a stay-at-home mom that is a gift as well. But if I just only did that, I wouldn't be a whole person, if I wouldn't even show up as my best self, and so I would never talk about that with anybody. Like I don't want to make noodle necklaces, I don't want to be, I don't want to make a snowman out of toilet paper. What is wrong with me? I literally would think there was something wrong with me because I didn't want to do that. And then I would judge myself and feel all this guilt and I'd be like well, if I don't do that, does that mean I'm a bad mom? And so I had this constant tug of war feeling.

Speaker 1:

And so, as I was coaching and I was speaking and I was showing up, that kept showing up coaching and I was speaking and I was showing up, that kept showing up and moms would reach out to me and they'd be like, hey, could you help me with this? I'm like okay, okay, I'm slowing down. I'm listening, like, okay, you know what I'm going to do. I'm going to send out a survey. So in February of this year, I sent out a survey to moms, working moms, and I asked them all these questions. I was like, okay, do they really need this or am I just imagining this? And, sure enough, guilt being present. Meal planning, meal planning came up, a lot. So all these things came up, but a lot of guilt. I'm talking like when I go to work, I feel guilty because I'm not at home. When I go home, I feel guilty because I'm not making the cupcakes for the perfectly for the party, right?

Speaker 2:

Or doing all the chores or all the things that guilty that I'm not answering my work emails when I'm trying to be present with my kids. Like there's guilt that pulls both ways. When I'm trying to be present with my kids Like there's guilt that pulls both ways.

Speaker 1:

So way back in February I did that. So then I was like I'm going to put this course together. And then I slowed down for a moment. I was like, first of all, I have a lot to learn, right? Like I can't just do this in two weeks, and so we're not, I'm not even launching that till September, but that's how long I have been studying it.

Speaker 1:

I've been talking to working moms. I'm like well, what does this look like? What do they need, right? How do they feel joy in both places? How do they feel fulfilled? How do they not wait till they're 51?, like me? How do they not have to wait so long to feel good when they're at work and also feel good when they're at home? Because I did not feel that way at all. I felt like I was on an island by myself, and I don't want that for other working moms. They should and I hate to say like, have it all, because what does have it all really mean? But it's really it's more about them.

Speaker 1:

We think about my company name for the love of, for the love of is there so that you can fill in the blank myself. My journal was just that. It's for the love of you and what are. What can you do five minutes a day so that you release and you and you know what you're doing before, the love of being a great mama, for the love of being an amazing, outstanding CEO? It's not so you can have it all right and be comparing yourself to everybody, but it's more to define what it means to you. Like, what does that mean to you Not having guilt? 16.7% of those that replied 11 said they feel guilty. 11.1% said they they want to be mentally present. It's like those two tie together, and so how do we talk through that so that you can show up as your best? Self've been listening since you're creating these things in a new way and creating new things.

Speaker 2:

What biggest changes have you noticed in yourself and in your life?

Speaker 1:

Well, personally, I went for a walk with my 22-year-old daughter yesterday at 3 o'clock in the afternoon. I didn't do that when she was 12. That's one that's real. That literally just happened. Um, I would say, you know, I'm a Yogi. If anybody follows me, it's it's being okay. I've this has taken a while, though, for me to be okay with it, like it's okay to go to yoga at four o'clock in the afternoon Remember, that's why you're building your own business. So it's more honestly, the personal time and being okay with it. Um, that's been really amazing, and doing it without feeling guilty.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I was just going to ask do you still struggle with that, like if you're going to yoga at 4 PM or 3 PM, do you feel guilty or self-conscious?

Speaker 1:

or I mean, I definitely that might be my first first thought, but I don't allow it to be my second thought, yeah, any longer. And so I do work through that. I'm not going to pretend like those thoughts don't come up, um, but like, even when we talk about slowing down, this is an entrepreneurial, creative trait is where we constantly have ideas. I have hundreds of ideas for this business, yeah, but it's really just zoning in on what can I do really well? It makes me think back. Even when I was in my CEO position.

Speaker 1:

I'm like, oh my gosh, did I do anything that well? I was doing so much, and so that's also refreshing to be like, just, can you do this one thing really well? Can you launch this course with your heart, your soul and do your best job at bringing people into your world so that you can help them? And so that's what I'm doing very differently when I'm not being the quick start. That's where you're first. It's just can we do this? Well, we do the best that we can do, and I'm excited to see you know, it's the first launch and of course, I can vision out, you know, running this course twice a year, but I can't wait. I can't wait to do the first one so that I can learn from it. Yeah, yeah, and make it better, and make it better, and make it better. Yep, refine it like a sourdough bread that has to rise. I don't know why everybody's making sourdough bread now.

Speaker 2:

I don't know it's trendy. I don't. I don't have any desire to try it, like I don't know how, I don't want to make sourdough bread. I don't know, I think I'd fail. So one of the things that you speak when you're doing public speaking, um, and focus on correct me if I'm wrong is really mindset, right, mm-hmm? What about mindset?

Speaker 1:

Like, oh gosh, this is a good one. So I speak about how to reshape your perception of yourself to reach your potential and how to unlock your mindset superpower. And so I do talk about the journey of journaling with my girlfriend, cindy, and so I talk about that and I give the journal entries, and so I talk about that and I give the journal entries. Um, one of the things that I will be adding now, um, that I only slightly touched on, because it's really peeling back the onion and being open and honest, is, um, I back in 2019 ish, I have a published book in 2019. It's called Knowing Worth.

Speaker 1:

Everybody in the book told stories in their life that taught them lessons of worth. So I told a story that I don't always share. That's very mindset related about growing up. When I was in high school, I was in an abusive relationship for four years in a mental and physically abusive relationship. But I just revisited that story I haven't read it since 2019 when we published that book and I was like, oh my goodness, I did not. I forgot. I buried so much about what had happened and how that affected my self-worth and how, for so many years, I was showing up as a shell of myself, and when I was in high school I thought I was going to marry this man and just be his trophy wife. And that's who I was, and I was actually coined as the pretty one. And so I grew up.

Speaker 1:

I was the oldest of three girls and there was a smart one, an athletic one and a pretty one, and so part of what I speak about is what it felt like growing up as the pretty one, and now I'll share my story about what it meant also to be in an abusive relationship where you were only the pretty one. You even showed up. I was a homecoming queen Like I'm a go big or go home kind of gal. If you're telling me, the pretty one, I'm going to do all that stuff that you're supposed to do when you're in the eighties and nineties. You're the cheerleader, you're the homecoming queen, you date the football player, all of that Cause.

Speaker 1:

That's what the pretty one did back then, and you cannot be the smart one, you cannot be the athletic one, you can only be the pretty one, only the pretty one. And so it took me years to kind of work through that and be okay, actually sharing that story and the real rawness behind what that did for me mindset wise to be able to know that I have enough self-worth and that I am smart enough and I am athletic enough and that I can do all of that, and it's okay. I can still have the great hair too. That's all right, it's okay.

Speaker 2:

I am just like more than my hair.

Speaker 1:

Yes, right, and so there's so much that I share that those that are in the crowd that can resonate with, and all I want them to do is walk away with just. Anytime you're in my space, anytime you're in my square, as we are right now, I just I want you to feel inspired and empowered and I want you then to go take action. It's one thing to be inspired and empowered, but it's now what do I do? And so that's what I speak about.

Speaker 1:

And then how you can take, if it makes sense, how you can take, for the love of self, and choose to go on a journey of a daily flow for yourself, to get introspective for five minutes, just slow down. Just slow down for a moment, right, and release. Whatever you need to release, I don't care. Write out your same release statement every day and then take in gratitude, like, take it in, breathe it and feel it, and then setting your core focus, and so that's, that's the other thing when you're, when I speak, it's I can share all these stories for connection and so that you can see yourself in them, because that's how you can transform when you see somebody else, and then you can walk away with an action so you can go transform yourself, and so I'm just starting. It's hard to share that story, but when I went, thank you for sharing it.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah, yeah. A couple of things stood out to me as you were sharing that. I mean, you pinpointed the worth aspect of it and when, when we're put in, when we're labeled, put in a box and in your situation, I'm sorry that you went through that experience of being abused. You know that's another level of worth being attacked from the inside and from the outside. And so there's the worth aspect, and then the other aspect that just keeps kind of ringing through me as we're walking through this conversation is how whether it's ourself or whether it's other people or whether it's society it feels so common to get I'm just going to use the phrase put in a box. You know the label puts us in a box, the like you're just the pretty one or you're the CEO. So if you're the CEO, then how, why are you putting that stuff on social media so like there's? There's these boxes? Because it's easy for us and I'm sure I've done it too to people. It's easy for me to understand people If I can define them more easily or maybe control them. I'm not saying that about anybody particular. I'm just saying that from a societal level, it's easier to contain people and feel like things are under control, as maybe a softer way to put that, when, when they're in a box, versus like, well, what is she going to say? Or what is she going to do if she's not just the pretty one? Or what is she going to say, or what is she going to do if she's X Y Z or free to do X Y Z?

Speaker 2:

And I think I think part of my, my journey, or the conversations that I've been having with women too, is that there's almost a fear from of self, like women that I've been talking to have a little bit of a like what's this going to look like when I become untamed? You know what is this? What actually is the potential when my limiting beliefs aren't limiting me anymore? And there's, I think, even a little bit of fear of what might show up on the other side of that, which is interesting, but you're walking it out, which is which is interesting, but you're you're walking it out, which is just like. It's beautiful, it's powerful, it's a little bit more softness, probably, it's a little bit more slow down, it's just a different, it's a different iteration, which is just so beautiful.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, that's the whole shebang.

Speaker 2:

Way to loop that around. Nice work. Well, Kim, is there anything that you've been wanting to talk about that I haven't asked you about?

Speaker 1:

Well, I would just say, for your listeners, I always like to offer, you know, something free. So I would tell them, you know, to go to kimrogneycom there's a, there's some free downloadables, one specifically for working moms. And then also I do give my journal entries Like you don't have to buy my journal to have them as well as, um, the sharing of Cindy's story right Of how our mindset matters, no matter what stage of our life that we're in. So I just want to encourage your listeners to go get that. And then I would say, um, you know, just speaking to working moms, I just want to, I just like I'm. I thought I can make it this long without crying.

Speaker 2:

Oh, this is a space where you can cry honey yeah.

Speaker 1:

I just want you to hear that what you're doing is amazing and keep doing it. Whether you're a teacher, you're a nurse, you're an entrepreneur, it's okay. It's okay to feel whole and fulfillment and joy from work. Please take that in. You're meant to do that, and you can also then be at home and be an amazing mom to the best of your ability. And I interviewed my daughters oh, my gosh, jen. So just to add this. So I interviewed them. So they're 20 and 22. Um, one's graduated college. She's a nurse at a children's hospital. The other one's in college. And I said hey, I just want your perspective. Um, the way that we ran, that's brave, yeah.

Speaker 2:

Can I just say that's brave Like yeah, cause I'm thinking about what I would.

Speaker 1:

My girls would say Cause I was like, what if you knew? And we cannot be perfect, right, but what if you knew that what you were doing or what you were teaching your children, they would thank you for later? What if you knew that? Wouldn't that be amazing if you knew that? Because it's so hard, we don't know, right, you don't know how old is your oldest, by the way 18, 18. Okay, well, it's the first time you've had an 18 year old. And also, our kids are different.

Speaker 1:

Whether you have girls or boys, they, they get older. You're like, oh my gosh, no matter what, they are different human beings. They show up differently, they think differently. You're, even though you're teaching them the same values, right, and so I asked them. I said so, these are some of the things I'm going to have in my course. So I ran and I say I, it was we, but a third of the things I'm going to have in my course. So I ran and I say I, it was weed, but a third of the year I was a single mom. My husband was a firefighter and worked 24 hours, but I said and so I would put the CEO systems in place. I ran the household like a CEO and I was like leveraged one. As soon as they were tall enough to reach the washer and dryer, on a stool. They did their own laundry. As soon as they packed their own lunch All these certain things and I interviewed them, I asked them all these questions and it was so great to have them say you want to know what?

Speaker 1:

We hated it when we were younger, but I am grateful for it. I'm grateful that you had us do that and that you taught us these things and you didn't, and that when you're a working mom, the hardest thing to do is to ask for help. I don't know why this is like we think we need to do it all, and it's to ask for help from your kids and to ask for help from your spouse. Why do you have to be a hundred percent in charge of dinner, right? Could you maybe come up with the idea?

Speaker 1:

And they cook and then you clean, like why do we have to do it all? Like they're? We're working too, and so that's the other thing that we did when we ran our household, and so it was super fun to interview them on that. Now there were some things they said hey, girl, I wish you did this differently, or I'm going to do this differently. I was like, oh, I wish I would've known that, um, but it is. It's. It's super fun to be okay to now ask them what did we do right and what would you do differently in being okay to receive that information without feeling guilty that it wasn't?

Speaker 2:

perfect. That's a lot. That's like that's what you've probably done, I'm assuming, a lot of inner work to get to that place where you can hear that and be okay with being imperfect. And I'm guessing, because you're asking them those questions and having the conversations and they're seeing what you're doing now they are actually seeing your intentions then, your intentions now, like I feel like now that I am where I'm at in my life, I can look at my mom, you know, and go, oh, she really was doing the best she could and there were, and had she done the thing the way that I would have liked it, there probably would have been something else that would have showed up. That would have been like, oh, that's not ideal.

Speaker 2:

So kudos to you for asking them. And how powerful to have that conversation, I think. I think a lot of times we wait until you know our grandparents. You know we talked to our grandparents like, well, they probably have five years left. Let's ask them what they learned back when they were 30. And now you're 51 and you're having these conversations now, which is just so powerful to have such an open line of communication with them. I love that.

Speaker 1:

Yes, yes, yes, yes. And if they were younger I would be having the conversation then I didn't. Then, right, like, imagine having the conversation with a 13 year old or a 14 year old and just saying, hey, how do you wish I would show up differently? Right, like, how can I show up differently as a parent? Because we don't have all the answers, but they could help us seek the answers and so, yeah, I think that's good.

Speaker 2:

I think one of the things that I've taken from my well, my younger two now, so my youngest is 13 and then I have a 16 year old and we've had some of those conversations where they're open with me about what's frustrating, about the way that I'll show up, which is hard to hear, and I'm really like as where as I can be of not wanting to be defensive but also illuminating to them my experience.

Speaker 2:

So when I'm asking for help on XYZ, or when I'm frustrated with XYZ, they know it's because mom is launching a new company. So we are a team, so that this is a relationship like any relationship, where we're like what are your needs, what are my needs? Also, I'm the parent, so how do I know? It's an interesting dynamic to go through, but, um, so thankful to be having conversations like this too, where people can be learning from it. So the fact that you're creating this course for working moms and delving into these things is, like you said, you're you're able to have those conversations before they're at this point in life, when they're 20 something, 30 something. Yeah, that's so great.

Speaker 1:

So powerful yeah.

Speaker 2:

Cam. Well, thank you for joining, thank you for your work, thank you for sharing the parts of your story that aren't always the easiest to share. Um, from my experience which isn't all the experience in the world, but even just on this podcast and hearing stories those are always the most um potent times when people hear those parts of stories that are like I don't share this often, and then you get people reaching out, going oh my gosh, I really did kind of feel alone and I and I don't anymore. So, thank you, thank you for that too. It's powerful. So people want to get ahold of you. Where do they find you? How can they find you? Mentioned some of the free things and I'll link that in the show notes. Um, are there social media accounts or anything else that they can find you at? Website?

Speaker 1:

Super easy, just kimrogneycom or Instagram at kimrogney and that's kind of it. Yeah, all right, thanks. So much, kim, thank you.

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