The Whole Shebang
The Whole Shebang Podcast is a space to explore our collective awakening, often through the lens of unifying the Divine Feminine and Masculine in order to experience our most whole lives.
Each week Jennifer connects with various teachers, authors, friends, heart centered leaders and creators on topics such as coming home to ‘Self,’ consciousness, sacred sexuality, manifestation, abundance, inner alchemy and personal growth.
These conversations are aimed at supporting people in connecting to their own inner knowing, power, and divinity, to enlighten their lived experience, and move people towards their fullest potential. The Whole Shebang Podcast is here to create an energetic space and channel where people are invited to re-member who we are as individuals, and as a collective.
It's with all the love, and so much joy that we invite you to to buckle up buttercups, because we’re diving in! - xx
The Whole Shebang
The Cost of Compromising Your Power & Authentic Leadership | Jen Briggs
"The cost of compromise is really high, but so is the reward of being your true self. When you realize not everybody is going to be for you, but the more you own your power and show up in that confidence, the more people are magnetically attracted to that." - Jennifer Briggs
CHAPTERS:
0:00 Introduction
5:07 Navigating Personal Growth and Leadership
18:09 Empowering Beliefs and Overcoming Rejection
29:04 Finding Your Natural Superpower
37:33 How People Really Make Decisions
44:03 The Truth About Data vs. Beliefs
51:55 Turning Authenticity Into Business Success
CONNECT
Allison Larson: alarson@guildmortgage.net
Support the show with your donation: https://www.support/thewholeshebangpodcast
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Hey there real quick before we jump in, because I want to share something that might help you or someone you care about. Are you looking for a real estate agent? I know it can be tricky. Most people either go with the agent closest to them because convenience right, or maybe you pick the quote unquote number one agent in the area because that must mean they're the best or the best fit for you. Unfortunately, that's not always the case. Or maybe you think it doesn't matter and you just pick any old agent who can open doors and shove paperwork across the table.
Speaker 1:Speaking from my own experience I am a realtor and I hired a realtor this year when I sold my house, because I truly believe the perfect match matters. Here's the thing After a decade in real estate, including leading Minnesota's largest real estate company, I've learned that finding the right agent is a lot like finding the right doctor. You want someone who's not just skilled but who really takes the time to listen, to get to know you and knows what you need. That's why I'm excited to announce Perfect Match Property Associates. I personally scout and match people with exceptional agents who combine expertise with genuine care, the kind who will navigate both the complex negotiations and the moments when everyone's stress levels are through the roof but the coffee maker just broke. So whether you're looking to work with me or one of our carefully vetted partners in Minnesota, or you need a trusted agent anywhere in the world, I'd love to help you find your perfect match. And yes, this matchmaking service is completely free to you. Just visit the jenniferbriggscom forward slash perfect match or check the show notes for a link. And for real estate professionals, I partner with agents from all brokerages who share my commitment to conscious client focus service. If you'd like to be considered for our select network, visit the jenniferbriggscom forward slash perfect match to learn more.
Speaker 1:All right now to our conversation. I've seen the cost of compromising. We're not yourself. We can end up in situations where we end up resenting the other party because it's like this isn't working. Why isn't this working? It's like, well, you're I'm going to be blunt Like you're kind of a fake version of you right now and you're wondering why this isn't working. You've self-abandoned to gain this thing opportunity, person, client, whatever it is and then you're frustrated when it's frustrating. But it's like oh, if I would have just been me to begin with, I wouldn't be running into such great resistance. There's still resistance in life, there's still problems, but there would be less of that dynamic.
Speaker 1:Hey, everyone, today's episode is a bit different. I'm actually sharing a conversation where I got to be the guest. It's pretty fun. I was interviewed by my friend and colleague, alison Larson. She is a direct lender and area manager for Guild Mortgage and, just like a little aside, if you need help with that, I will share her contact information in the show notes. She's amazing Total boss. You'll catch that in this episode, yeah, and so she's had a lot of success early on in terms of her career and leadership and personal growth and development. So we had a lot of fun diving in deep.
Speaker 1:Some of the things that you'll take from this episode I really talk about how to stop feeling sort of fake or inauthentic in your business and how to tap into your natural strengths.
Speaker 1:We do a breakdown of what I consider fascinating in terms of how your brain really makes decisions and how to use this to connect more authentically with clients so you can understand how other people are making decisions, whether they're clients or your personal friends and family. We'll dive into that. Real examples of how being completely yourself can actually attract more people into your world, how to identify your unique superpowers and use it to stand out, and why trying to be quote-unquote professional might be actually hurting your business. And how to find that sweet spot between authenticity and true effectiveness. And, last thing, before we dive in, if you're enjoying the whole shebang, would you take a moment and hit that subscribe or follow button, share the show with anybody that you think it could be helpful to, and or, if you're feeling the five stars, I would love a five star review. It really does help the show reach more people who might benefit from these conversations and helps me continue to get great guests on. Okay, now let's jump into this conversation on authentic leadership and finding your unique path to success.
Speaker 2:I have Jennifer Briggs on with me today and I feel like you're a Twin Cities legend, like everyone in the Twin Cities knows who you are, but because you've built some incredible things here, but people around the country might not know who you are, what you do, and so I want to just start off with diving into what you did previously, what you built and what you're focusing on now.
Speaker 1:Okay, I mean we could go way back to the day of my birth, but we won't start there. So I had a 10 year career in nonprofit work and then fell backwards into real estate, like, I think a lot of people get into the lending and it's not like you grow up thinking I'm going to be a realtor, you know. So I fell backwards into I or a car salesperson. But you know, whatever, whatever life works out that way sometimes. So I fell backwards into real estate gosh. Uh, many years ago, when my, my daughter was an infant and then went through some other career things and ultimately came back to it in 2014. So how, almost 10 years ago now? Um, it was at a time where there was a lot of change happening in my life a couple of close deaths in the family Uh, I'm going to get. Can I get personal on here Is that okay, yes.
Speaker 1:Yes, Okay. So brother and dad passed away within a couple of years, and then my and then I ended up getting a divorce too. So I had all this change happening and I was in just getting into real estate during that time and needing to get that off the ground. From having no experience being an entrepreneur, no experience being in real estate, I did the work and followed the systems and models and my real estate sales business took off. Within about 18 months I was on track to close about 50 units and then got recruited to manage the Twin Cities real estate office for Keller Williams and then did that for almost gosh five, six, seven years. I should go back and look at the time frame. I'm bad with that stuff.
Speaker 2:And how many agents were. I think to manage an office is one thing that you manage like the biggest. I mean how many agents are in that space?
Speaker 1:When I started there were 275 and we grew it to 350. So, yeah, thank you, it was. It was hard work and it was through COVID and George Floyd, which was, you know, we were right on the corner of where a lot of things were happening and you know you're from this area too, so there was just a lot in the industry with how people navigate home sales around that issue geographically. Even so, it was a challenging time to be a general manager of five of the offices in the Twin Cities area. So I did that for a year and a half and then the owner ended up selling two, closing down one, and my position was eliminated. And so now for the last six months, I've been in another period of transition of really looking at where am I going to put the energy now, into the, into next things. So that's about as quick down and dirty as I can get with it. Allison, does that give you?
Speaker 2:what you need. Yeah, and I think one thing that really attracts people to you just your general aura. You're one of those people who seems like I don't know how old you are even, but you seem so wise I'm 42, 42.
Speaker 2:Okay, I would have said you were 35. That was going to be a guess. So you look great, um, and. But you, you're so wise and you interpret information just to a different level and you really think through things. But one thing that I think is really unique to who you are is you're really good at standing in your power and showing up as a woman, and showing up powerful as a woman and not being scared to show up powerful as a woman. And in our industry I feel, um, sometimes women feel like they have. We try to be all these different people and you just are to me. You always come off as, like, very sure of who you are and not afraid to just stand up, to be the leader and go. I got this, which is very different. So what do you think? Do you think that's a natural skill or what have you done to find that skill and lean into it?
Speaker 1:First of all, thank you so much for that reflection. I, you know I'm human and I don't always feel that way. It's been, it's been a challenge to. I've done a lot of inner work over the last five, seven years to really dig in and figure out who am I, what do I value, what's really important to me, what's the sort of through thread that's pulled through from my like, early childhood years to to make me who I am? Um, I've seen the cost of compromise compromised in, you know, not in some big ways at times, but in some small ways too, um, in in ways that allowed me to sort of fit into a box or a way of thinking or a way of being or a way of showing up as a woman. You know, I I worked in a church for 10 years and there was an expectation around what that looked like and, um, and not that it's good, bad, whatever. It just wasn't. It was, it didn't allow for the fullness of who I am, and so it's been a process over these years of really, um, doing the inner work and understanding the cost of compromise and then also understanding the joy of authenticity.
Speaker 1:It's really cliche to be like, be yourself. I know it's cliche, but also it's so important. I believe that we're all like pieces to a puzzle to me. We're all part of this really big ecosystem and so when we play our part in the ecosystem, the ecosystem functions better. But when we're compromising bits of ourself along the way, like everybody for lack of a better way of putting it like everybody suffers a little bit, ourselves included. So it doesn't just come naturally to me. There's a reality that when you step into the fullness of your power, there's a reality that when you step into the fullness of your power, whatever that power looks like to me it looks a certain way but or when you change, when you evolve, when your business changes, when that evolves, that is going to be confronting for other people because it's going to impact them. So there's a lot that has gone into that.
Speaker 2:There's a lot that has gone into that and do you feel like you have to tap into that skill? Like you hosted a wonderful event for us on a couple of weeks ago and it doesn't, it doesn't show, it doesn't like, doesn't come lightly to me. Like, sometimes we see people speak in front of a room of people and we're like, oh, this is just second nature to them. But when I watch you and your ability and your skill to like, slow down and evoke the emotion and play into, like how people are thinking and feeling, at one point during it we were quiet for a while and you pause for a little bit and you're trying to have us visualize a segment in our life and you were like what? Like you said something like are you wearing chapstick? Like it was a very like like the thought and the skill. Is this a practice thing or you just have to convince your mind of like, slow down, it's okay to have a moment of silence, or what does that feel like for you?
Speaker 1:When you're in, when I'm in front of a room, you mean.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I asked that because I think in our businesses people underestimate every time you show up for a client. To me, every time I show up on Zoom for a client, I should be practiced. It should be my art and my practice and my skill set of how I show up in front of a client, no different than to me, a realtor, when they go to a listing appointment or a buyer's presentation. Or every time you show a home. It should be an art. And I think some people have the skill of communication and the art and to do it in front of people is just a whole, nother level of of honing in that skill.
Speaker 1:I do think. I do think there's a part of it that's natural, like I've, and it's also, you know, the leadership component has always been a thing for me. From my young, young years and my previous job. I was on a stage in front of people so like I never and oddly enough I never was seeking those opportunities, they just kind of came to me. So that public side of it is natural, but I would say the intuitive side of it. I've worked, I've worked to develop.
Speaker 1:It takes time to, and a lot of patients gosh in our fast. You know, there's an element, and we've talked a little bit about this the necessity to move quickly, especially in this industry. To react appropriately, to be responsive, is like a really high value. But to constantly you said it well, I think, to dance this dance, that is an art of being receptive to the information that's coming in. That is an art of being receptive to the information that's coming in and we can't receive when we're constantly giving. If you think energy, if you think electricity, if I'm outputting electricity, how I can't simultaneously take, take in, so it's, I mean you, maybe you can, I don't know, I'm not a scientist Is it true? We do both at the same time, I agree.
Speaker 2:I thought it made sense.
Speaker 1:But, like as a human, if I'm thinking about you know it's, it's basic communication, right, but it's not basic and basic isn't easy to say. Like, if I'm thinking about what I'm saying and what I'm doing and the energy that I'm putting out there, I'm not focused on actually what I'm receiving in terms of information or I'm not maybe cognitively even aware, or consciously aware maybe, of the information that I'm receiving. So if you are in your body and moving slow enough and present enough, you can enter a room and feel the space and that is an art to go. Are people ready to move on? Some people are ready to move on from this, some people are not. They're crying right now, like, okay, how do I, how do I receive that information and move through that? So to your point on a one-on-one meeting if we're only thinking about what we're saying, if we're not rehearsed in the conversation or the answers to questions that people might have, and we're just thinking about saying the right thing, we're not rehearsed in the conversation or the answers to questions that people might have and we're just thinking about saying the right thing, we're not taking in the fact that one of the partners in the couple just crossed their arms and sat back like this, and they're not. They're not on board anymore, they're looking at their phone, but we're not there to really be able to say to, to respond appropriately in that moment.
Speaker 1:So to me it started years ago with actually it was a practice of meditation. I wasn't a big meditator, but to me meditation is the practice of learning how to observe our mind, and so when we become the observer of our mind, then we can become the observer of a lot of things. It's a practice of being an observationist to me, and that slows us down in a way that helps us to be a lot more capable. And when I recruited for so many years, it was like I've got to listen to what people are saying and to what they're not saying, to really understand what their needs and desires are and then meet them where they're at. But if I'm just going to come in with a pitch at you, that's not to me. Sales is leadership, so it's really understanding what people need and desire and then helping, guide, helping lead them to that, but not pitching something at them and twisting their arm. That's not appropriate in my opinion either.
Speaker 2:So we talk a lot about a leader versus a helper mindset, and I think what's in the last few years where this industry has gotten tough, the people who have the leader mindset and help lead their clients versus just show up at their every beck and call and go. You asked for this. Okay, I'll give you this Right. It is what's separating people's success in this industry on both the mortgage and the real estate side is if you're able to truly lead and, like you said, if you're able to give them space to have the emotions and communicate what they're really thinking. Sometimes it takes people 30 minutes to warm up to even start to communicate what they're really thinking.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, and to get you know, especially if it's a new appointment or a new client, to earn the trust to have them open up.
Speaker 1:We really, you know, it's one thing that I said all the time and really meant it a real estate transaction, unless you're working just with investors like a real estate transaction, is a life transition. And so you know, for us to show up and just expect people to be open is like not considerate. It's it's very private, personal, it's like relationship dynamics and finding you you're on the finance side, it's very personal. So, yeah, to get to hold the space, well, so that people, you know, it's the feedback that I would get is I you know, I was working with another realtor but I really feel like you heard me, that was, that was the most valuable thing that people would pair it back to me and I was like huh, I just kind of took for granted that, well, I do care. So I do want to hear you and we. And I think when we're moved so fast to close the deal and sign the paperwork, we can miss the people aspect of it.
Speaker 2:And that's where you win in sales. Yeah, I get a lot. Oh, we picked Alison because we just really liked her. They don't really like me, they barely know me. They liked that. They felt really safe with me. Yep, that was it, and they couldn't even probably consciously pinpoint that. One of the things that you spoke about when you did the so for context, jen did a 3-hour long vision workshop with a group of realtors and mortgage professionals in the Twin Cities recently with us, and one of the things you talked about that I just loved and ate up and was like rapid firing notes on is the way our brain all works together, and I'm sure it's much easier to describe when you have a picture and you can point to the different parts but, you talked a lot about the conscious mind and the subconscious mind.
Speaker 2:Could you just give like a overview of the parts of the four parts of our brain and how they all fire together, and kind of the same context you did during our workshop?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I like to give a disclaimer that I'm not a neuroscientist, but I am a nerd when it comes to this stuff, because I realized how much you know. We talk about business. It's like what? What do we believe is capable? What do we not believe is capable? Who? How do I step into my power? You asked that question as a woman. It starts with who do I? What do I step into my power? You asked that question as a woman. It starts with who do I? What do I believe I'm worthy of? What do I believe I deserve? And all of that is wired in our subconscious brain.
Speaker 1:So our subconscious brain takes up 95% of our brain and most of us are functioning almost all of the time in our conscious brain, which is 5% of our brains. We have this largely untapped portion of our brain. So our brain as a whole is split up into three parts. So the first part is called the neocortex. It's our thinking brain and it's our mind. I'm pointing, if people are watching this, it's like the front part of our brain and it's the most developed and it's what allows us, it's kind of our sense of identity and it's where we solve problems and we move into this neocortex. Our second brain is called our limbic brain or our sort of feeling mammalian body, and it's where we can go into our fight or flight mode. So if we move out of our thinking brain and we go into fight or flight when we're in a stress response and we believe that our resources are not able to meet the demands that are coming at us, our third brain is so it's kind of like mind, body, soul.
Speaker 1:When you look at the three parts of the brain, the third brain is the cerebellum and that's where the seed of the subconscious mind is. And what we know now I mean this research is I don't I should know the date on this it's like relatively new. We know that we can rewire people probably know this but we can rewire our subconscious brain. It is our subconscious brain that is driving our behavior Right, and so until relatively recently we thought that that was all hardwired up at the age of five. And now we know that we can come in and rewire our subconscious brain. So that we can come in and rewire our subconscious brain so that we can change what we believe is possible and change who we are, so that we can start making decisions from an actions from a more conscious place. How's that for a summary? That was really good, that was really good.
Speaker 2:Why I love that you talk about this is because in our business real estate and mortgage alike we are the business, and so when someone chooses to work with us or not to work with us, they picked us. They didn't say I don't want Chinese food today, I want Mexican food. They said I don't like Allison, today I like this person better. And that's really hard and it teaches us in our conscious minds that struggle from our subconscious minds of like I'm not worthy, I'm not good enough, I'm not going to pick up the next person and call them because someone says they don't like me.
Speaker 2:And what you see in this business is people who have been through like you just described with your story. You've been through some grit, and so I have to imagine that every single day, when you went through being a single mom who just started a self-employed business, you probably were like I don't have a choice If this person doesn't like me or not, I still have to pick up the phone and I still have to follow up. It doesn't matter how scared I am, I have to do it and I still have to follow up. It doesn't matter how scared I am, I have to do it. And when someone has something so big that it has to propel them forward, they're able to do it. Any person who is a mom can attest that. Like the love that you have wired in your DNA for your child, you could do. I mean, think of the sleep deprivation you go through for a baby. You could do anything for this child the way you love them.
Speaker 2:You are a superwoman. Yes, you realize I can literally do anything. The way I can take care of this child, yeah, but people not, which is, thank goodness, not everyone has to go through the ick.
Speaker 2:There's a lot of people in our businesses who have, like, a pretty dreamy life compared to some others. They haven't been divorced, they didn't have to be a single mom, they didn't lose a parent, they didn't end up in like a toxic relationship, whatever they, they just were able to live a normal life and I think sometimes, um, because of that, almost the rejection hits harder for them, or it hits differently, because they haven't felt rejection or this like deep, overrooted fear that they have to overcome it. As you've recruited and coached agents, I'm sure you saw divide between people who have been through some shit and people who haven't, and the way they were able to show up at tough times. As people are working through that, there's certain skills that they can be using to tap in, to acknowledge it's not that bad. I just need to keep going.
Speaker 2:What does that skill set look like? As an agent who's trying to understand or a lender who's trying to understand, this is my subconscious mind telling me that, just because this realtor re-shared another lender's Instagram story, I should still call them right. Like even those littlest things, like bring up every insecurity and new girl experience we've ever had in our lives to go. I'm not going to pick up the phone today.
Speaker 1:Oh, such a good question. Yeah, I saw this all the time, like the fear of rejection is is really real and sometimes I think I think the fear of rejection it may also be tied to other things, like is it secretly a fear of success? That was my fear when I started out. It was like I w, I w. I didn't like the rejection. It was hard, but you're right, I had grit through that for other reasons, but it still was really hard. It was actually on the other side of that was a fear of success, because if I succeed, then what standard do I have to maintain and what am I going to be held accountable to? So a lot of times there's other things I think that are beneath that, or it might be.
Speaker 1:Well, let me just stick on the fear of rejection question. The one that's actually coming to my mind right now is Mel Robbins has the five second rule and this is where it's just like a countdown from five. So when I was starting out my real estate business, I door knock to build my business because I was too afraid to get rejected by my database. So I wouldn't necessarily recommend that for people. Right now. I would say reach out to your people. Tell them what you're doing, don't be secretive about what you're doing. But I just felt safer doing it this way. So, whatever I was like, if I fall on my face and I'm door knocking or I say something stupid, I never have to see that person again was the way it was my thinking. But I did it all winter long, I just, and so before I got out of my car I would literally just count down to five and go, and and what it does. When you reduce the period of time that you have to negotiate with your smarter self and you just go. It's almost like I can try to get to the root of why I'm afraid of rejection. But does it really matter why I'm afraid? I just know that I am and I know that I need to not not do that. So I'm just going to go and, like, do the thing. And then what I started to see on the other side of it was that there was like a really clear, there was really clear data to see on the other side of it was that there was like a really clear, there was really clear data. Like for every 50 doors I knocked, I would set one appointment. So that means not every one of them was home, but let's just say half of them were home. So I would get 24 rejections for one acceptance. And then over time I was like that was the data, that was just data. Oh, it wasn't the people who were rejecting me. They just didn't need me to sell them a house, or they'd had they genuinely had a really great realtor or whatever it was.
Speaker 1:So then you start learning that it isn't as personal as we make it Like I'm. Like not every lender is going to be for me and I know that I'm not for everybody. Like you cannot be the person to be every, but that was kind of your point about. Like how have you stepped into your power? The cost of compromise is really great, but so is the reward of being your, your true self. So when you realize, like not everybody is going to be for me, but the more I can own my power and show up in that confidence and say here I am, the more people accept, accept you, I think, and are like magnetically attracted to that, but then also you do repel the people you don't want to work with anyways, instead of coming from that scarcity mindset of like I'll just take whatever I can get. I like to use dating as an analogy because I'm like would you date that way? Maybe you would, but let's change that too.
Speaker 2:I tried to date that way. It didn't work so well either. That too I tried to date that way it didn't work so well either. I wouldn't do that either. I love you made a comment about the coming down from five and you said so. It's like the time eliminated into negotiating yourself out of something, honestly, this is why working out in the morning works well because you're like too tired to even realize what you're doing.
Speaker 2:If it's just your habit that you just spring out of bed half awake and get on a treadmill, you're like it's done and I didn't even, I didn't even have time to think about what I was doing. I'm starting to just starting to be done with it and you're just in it. Right, you don't have time to like convince yourself. You work out after work. You've got all day long to convince yourself that you don't want to do it make an excuse.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because you're like I just have to do it. The piece around the fear of rejection and just realizing the stats and the numbers and it not being personal, I think is key. And then also I love what you said about just when you show up as yourself, you attract people who are like you. I have no idea where. I heard this at a conference somewhere, but it's the philosophy that 25% of people love you, no matter what. 25% of people hate you, no matter what. 25% of people just literally will never remember your name and 25% are just like meh. But if you don't show up really as you and you're always trying to show up as who you think you should be, you're not going to ever find your 25% of people who, like, have this deep pull and connection to you. You just aren't. And if you show up as yourself and go here I am, you're going to find the people who, like everyone, like everyone has a best friend. You're going to find the people who want to be your best friend If you can show up as yourself.
Speaker 1:A thousand percent can agree more. And I feel like when you don't, when you show up as inauthentic or not yourself, we can end up in situations where we end up resenting the other party because it's like this isn't working. Why isn't this working? It's like, well, you're I'm going to be blunt Like you're kind of a fake version of you right now and you're wondering why this isn't working. You've self-abandoned to gain this thing opportunity person client. You've self-abandoned to gain this thing opportunity person, client, whatever it is. And then you're frustrated when it's frustrating, but it's like, oh, if I would have just been me to begin with, I wouldn't be running into such great resistance. There's still resistance in life, there's still problems, but there would be less of that dynamic. I think.
Speaker 2:So what do you I feel like in social media when I'm recruiting loan officers or connecting with realtors for business, I find there's a lot of people who, as I'm talking to them, I don't even know if currently, in their state of being that they know who they are, be someone else's brand or someone else's alignment or what someone else means to them, because they think that's the right thing to do and they I don't even know if they know that they don't even really know who they are. Would you see that a lot in in leading, especially with social media coming into play? A?
Speaker 1:thousand percent. I think you know I saw that in myself until my mid thirties. I don't think I was being like fake, but I think in a lot of ways, you know, I look back and I'm like I am who I am, I've been who I've been. It's not like been totally fake, but I wasn't. I wasn't as clear on like what were my values that I would not let go of, and I don't just mean like political beliefs, it's like like I'll just. This is kind of a a not important example, but when I was in real estate, one of my high values was like fun. It was I want to have fun in my business and I want to. Relationships are really important to me. Team building it like having a quality team is really important to me.
Speaker 1:I'm a total extrovert and so I built my business, you know, around experiences and had I continued in my sole business longer, it would have been a monthly event because that's authentic to who I am. Now I would work with real estate agents that would try to duplicate that. But they're total introverts. They're data heads. I'm like you're great with tech. You could be running like a lead funnel from the backend. That would be way more in alignment with who you are and what you love, but you feel like you should be doing it that way. There's a lot of different ways to do these things, but it, you know, and it can come down to little things. Like I'm a deep person, I love to think deeply, I read books, I've got this podcast. Not everybody loves that about me, not everybody wants to be deep all the time, but like I'm like and I tried to not be that way. I was like let me just not be that way, but that's not me and people feel that when I'm not that way, you know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, I feel as a young female in the business. I would try and play into the I'll be the fun young female all the time and that's not how I am. Like since I was a little kid. I was the kid who would talk to the teacher at recess and I was the kid who, like, took everything in life way too seriously and did it like way too intensely. I was the kid who would like tattle on someone when they didn't participate with the group project. That's still who.
Speaker 1:I am right, it just is. It's how I'm wired.
Speaker 2:I'm an overachiever, I'm like a total, like I switched companies and I have a new leader, mentor, and even I've made a joke. We were at a conference altogether and we were eating dinner with some of my peers and some of the people were like oh, I just make up those accountability numbers when we turn in. And I was like you, what Like? I'm the person who's like making extra phone calls right before the sales meetings, that I have better numbers to report and it would never even dawn on me that other people are making up the numbers. I'm like what she told you to make a hundred phone calls and you didn't make the hundred phone calls, but she said to do it.
Speaker 1:And everyone's way different. But someone.
Speaker 2:probably that could annoy someone to death about me. But if I hide that and someone finds out who I'm, who I really am, that and someone finds out who I'm, who I really am, there's probably this baseline of annoyance that they always have with me and we're probably trying to be in relationship and it's just literally doesn't work.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, that, uh, you know it's again, we said that's such a buzzword, but that authenticity of you knowing that and then showing up that way and you embracing that because it's there are aspects of ourself that we have judged.
Speaker 1:You know that it's like, well, I don't really like that. I am that way because at some point you probably received feedback that it wasn't cool to be that way. So our subconscious mind internalizes that it wires that like that isn't a cool thing about us, and so we show up differently and then create resistance and tension and also just don't step, step into our suit, like I'm just going to call them like superpowers. There's a, there's an aspect of you that that is a superpower and you've you've had a lot of success because of you stepping more full this is my guess stepping fully into who you really are. And again coming back to that place of when we all do that. It's going to look different from the next person, but we do ourselves a service. I think we have more joy when we function that way and then everybody around us gets to like step into their little superpower, you know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I think I think that is key and I feel like you're, as a leader, you have to be very good and I think you've probably honed this skill of seeing other people's superpowers that they maybe haven't even seen for themselves yet. It's one of my favorite, and having them embrace their superpowers and we talk a lot on my team about what's different about each of us. Right, like, what's different about me is I am a new mom and I'm running a business and I'm go, go, go, go go and I went through a fertility journey and I love connecting with other people who feel that way and need to just complain about it and need to just help and someone to cheer them on or whatever. And there might be someone else on my team who doesn't have kids and isn't married and lives a completely different life and they probably connect with someone completely different than I do. And there's someone else on my team who's an excellent loan technician 10X what I am and can put together like 17 co-signers and 400 different types of part-time income to make a file work, and I'd be like I don't even.
Speaker 2:I don't even know where to start on that Right, everyone has their superpower and it's like how do you show it off? But so I don't even know how to articulate this well, but I feel like you are very clear on your superpowers and you've found this like with the speaking events you're doing and leadership and coaching, you've kind of found a way to show them off without showing them off as you were leading agents. How would you help them lean into their superpower, or give me some examples of how someone can kind of hone in on those skills and lean into them more in their individual fields?
Speaker 1:What a good question.
Speaker 2:I'm thinking about it from a leader. We're just winging this, so I'm just throwing these very deep questions at her on the fly. I just I feel like I have to preface that.
Speaker 1:I'm running with it, trying, um, what am I? What am I doing? So I'm thinking about it on a couple of different levels. So when I was leading the market centers and you have a staff, the way superpowers show up from, from that. So if you was leading the market centers and you have a staff, the way superpowers show up from that. So if you have people that are listening, that have a team, that feels like a different kind of development to me, because there's more and different kinds of opportunities to see little seeds of things, bright spots in people.
Speaker 1:Right when, as an example, we had a new, just out of college guy on the team and he led the announcements for the whole entire office. When he stepped in front of the room he just like lit up and he was really natural in front of the room and the room was. He was joking with them and they were responding. And he stepped outside and after the meeting I said have you ever done that before? And he said no, I've never, ever done any public speaking. I'm like, do with it nothing, do something with it if you want, but there's something there and I think it's our, our opportunity and responsibility as leaders to I call it like speaking life or having the conversation around people. To me it's kind of like seed planting and watering the seeds and cultivating them. I actually just saw an interview with I'm I don't know if you like football or not the coach of the Vikings right now.
Speaker 2:I'm a woman who likes football.
Speaker 1:They're talking about him being a quarterback whisperer and this, the quarterback that we have right now, wasn't really that great. He didn't have success on other teams and the commentators were kind of speculating about why the quarterback is having success with us. They're saying the coach has been just pouring into him and so I think there's this opportunity that we have as leaders that benefits everybody to see this skill and speak life and belief and possibility. Again, if we want to come back to the brain wiring, he probably had all kinds of wiring that told him he wasn't going to succeed, because he has a track record of having a lack of success in that way. But somebody saw the possibility and sort of breathing, like fanning that flame, and he started to believe it. It started to rewired, he started to believe it and then the results showed up. So I think they're like, on a broad level, that's a way to do this.
Speaker 1:If I, if I'm sitting down and coaching somebody one-on-one, I would tend to ask a lot of questions about you know, when you look back at your life, what are some of the peak experiences that you've had and what was happening during that time and what was the role that you played in that and what did you enjoy about that? What were some of the greatest frustrate, like frustrating experiences that you've had? Why was it frustrating? Like cause, usually on the other side of frustration, or like a real ear, like what really irritates you is something that I'll ask. On the other side of that is usually a value or a gift or an opportunity.
Speaker 2:So and then how do we? I'm curious, let's workshop that. So if you said what's your, would you start? What would you start with? What's a peak or what's a weakness, or what frustrates someone when?
Speaker 1:would you start? Um, I would start with what lights you up. Uh, steve jobs asks a series of questions around that, like what lights you up, what makes your heart sing are two questions.
Speaker 2:Okay, so what lights me up is my kids, my family. What makes my heart sing is literally just like sitting on the ground and playing Legos with my kids.
Speaker 1:Okay and yeah, um, I'm going to because we're talking about a professional setting I'm going to back you up from that. What if you look prior to kids, prior to that lighting you up? Um, what in life if you can look back at like a peak experience that you had, what, what was one that you had?
Speaker 2:Um, when I was in high school, uh, honestly, my career is like every single year I feel like I'm like, oh, I can't believe this is real pinch me. But if I had to go further back, um, and when I was in high school, I, there's this organization called DECA and, um, I competed, like I competed in a couple of things, cause I just wanted to the free trip. We got to go to California on a free trip. I'm from a small town in Wisconsin, so that was a big deal and I competed in a public speaking contest and I actually made it all the way to the international level and won first place at the international public speaking contest Amazing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and if you would like now I could. Sometimes I like I just spoke at a conference and when I got out there I was like gosh. I don't know if it's the shapewear or if I'm just that nervous, but I feel like I could like fall down and pass out.
Speaker 1:Definitely the shapewear.
Speaker 2:How is this possible?
Speaker 1:Yeah, so what about that experience was exciting, or like, what about that lit you up. Was it the accomplishment, was it the experience itself? Like, what about that?
Speaker 2:Gosh, it's funny when you workshop things and you literally see how it plays out and you're like, aha, um, it was being good at something. I was always fine at things, I always excelled, but it was like getting recognized from something bigger outside of my small town and being good at something, like really really good at something, against other people who are also really good at something.
Speaker 1:So there's two facets there. There's the you're competitive in nature, right Cause it's like it's not just you being good at it for your sake, it's the fact that you won. So it's a competitive and it's also maximizing your potential and your skill Right. So there's two things. And then can you see that theme through your career.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, I am an extreme overachiever. I need to win. It doesn't matter. It is not about the dollars and cents and my take-home income which is a weird thing. You would think self-employed, that's really what. But to me I'm like how'd that chick get 11 more loans than I did? I need to be number one on the leaderboard. I can win. I'm capable of it too, and wanting to be seen as the person who's capable of it.
Speaker 1:Okay, and you just said something else there and you want to be seen as the person who's capable. So if, like, I was working with you, I'd be like get that girl a visible leaderboard, make sure that people can see where she's at, make sure that she knows she knows that people can see where she's at, make sure she knows there's a measurable progress that you can track and see, because she's driven by her best potential and by competition. How can we facilitate competition and how can we get her to see what her full potential is? So then I would also be tackling what's your full potential? Like what do you think your full potential is and what's the gap, and what does it look like when you think your full potential is? And then, how, and what's the gap? And like, what does it look like when you reach your full potential, which I think is always a moving target?
Speaker 1:But now that's unique to you. There might be like I am not like that at all, Like I'm not like that at all. So if somebody tried that with me and it's been tried with me, I'm like ah, I'll succeed, but that's not my superpower. So to even know that within a team, that that might, that might squelch some people who feel really like, really, um, disempowered by that, but to know that that is your, that's a superpower you have, amongst other things. Probably one of them is probably speaking too, but, um, it's really seeing, like, how can you, how can you work that into every facet of your business? Or, and maybe there's five more of those that you're like okay, this is how I can maximize my business and your personal life. You might think about that with the gym, like you're motivated to get up and just like, get on the treadmill, but how can I create competition there? You know, yeah.
Speaker 2:Okay. So if I, if we were going to do the frustrations point and I said, one of my biggest frustrations, career wise is which this won't be at Lex Price is like people who can't put in hard work. Or actually my biggest frustration is people who think they're putting in a hard work but I can look at them and be like I know you can do more. How then, what would you do with that? Or how would you workshop that frustration?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean I would say the other side of the flip, when you flip the coin over the value is hard work. It seems really obvious. But like I'll use my my example that I use a lot I have it's bad, like my girls know this and I've gotten better. But when we're out anywhere, like out to eat, even at a fast food restaurant, I get really irritated. While it's client, like customer service in general, I get irritated If I ask a question and somebody says I don't know. I'm like, don't tell me, you don't know. Tell me you know what. I'm not sure, but I'm happy to get the answer for you. Don't just say I don't really know what that costs. It's like what it's your job. It's your job to figure it out, you know. So it's a certain value around customer service for me that when I I flipped that around and what is the value? The value is that, um, that I'm the calm in the midst of the storm, that I know how to problem solve, that I believe that that we're here to serve the needs that you have, not to be at your beck and call that I believe that we're here to serve the needs that you have, not to be at your beck and call. There's a difference, and so then I weave those belief statements.
Speaker 1:If you've heard of Simon Sinek, most people have. He's got a book called Start With why. There's a TED Talk that's like 18 minutes Start With why. So I'm going to back up to what you were saying. One of the things to do is to integrate those beliefs in how you work, but it's also to integrate them, excuse me in everything that you're communicating, so with all of your clients, with your team members, you can be expressing.
Speaker 1:I believe that hard work is the central, is the linchpin to blah, blah, blah. That you're communicating your belief statements first because people will make a decision to work with you based on those, not the data. The data backs up. This is a subconscious wiring thing. People's brains will make the decision. Actually, it's their gut, connected to their cerebellum, that's going to actually make the decision whether they work with you or not. When you start with why and you communicate your belief statements, people will choose you based on that and then all of your data on here's the successes I've had that confirms what their gut already told them. So when I like to help people pinpoint their superpowers, their beliefs and their values, so that they can do two things work that way and then also communicate them and all of their you know website presentations, just through the way they speak, that that comes out. That's how that's a part of like. How do you become authentic, how do you step into your power? It's knowing, it's knowing what's important to you and expressing that. Yeah.
Speaker 2:I think people have a hard time. They don't really know. They think they know the value, but they don't even know how to articulate it. And I um, you are very good with words Like I was writing down part of what you were saying, so that was really it was really good. And I'm recording this. I can just listen back to it yeah.
Speaker 2:But when people I think people don't even know to practice how to articulate their value and what their worth is, or it seems like a really silly practice that you would go practice that, but it's probably one of the most imperative things as someone who's self-employed to be able to articulate what their value is to someone and sometimes it changes, like what my value used to be is not what my value probably is anymore, or where my strengths lie.
Speaker 2:I was just at a conference and I heard a guy on stage say I helped my clients win. I helped my realtors and my clients and my referral partners win. And I was like I love helping people win.
Speaker 2:That is a great way to articulate it, but sometimes we almost need to talk and listen and workshop it out to find the words that really resonate with us, so that when we articulate to someone they have that gut check of like she's my people or she's not my people, and I'd rather someone at pre-approval or an initial call with a loan officer and be like she's my people, let's do this, or I'm out, she's not my people, so I don't have to work with them for six months and then they decided I'm not their person.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's huge. I think that I was at a Tony Robbins event and he had a realtor stand up and he said tell me why I should work with you. And the guy gave the stats. He gave like the this is why you should work with me. I'm the number one realtor and the blah, blah, blah. And Tony looked around and he said how many of you would work with this guy based on that? And everybody's like it's like just crickets, you know. And then he says, all right, now I'm your brother, tell me why you should, why I should, work with you. And then come, because I'm an advocate for you, I'm going to protect you, I'm going to, I'm going to help you see the things that you can't see, because I'm going to be totally honest with you. Then he gets into the real value. Tony looks around how many of you would work with him now? Why? Because I felt him, because I felt what he really brings to the table. I, you know, I saw, I think it.
Speaker 1:This becomes more challenging for new agents, or alone officers in some ways, because they don't yet feel like they have the stats to lean on. But they have who they are, and that's again coming back to and we all have those. It's like, well, I don't really know, I don't really know what my superpowers are. We all have them, because even if you're 20, you've got 20 years of lived experience at this point that has cultivated, and you were born, I think, born with values, with superpowers, with a hard wiring of those things. So then it's just like sometimes a simple a coaching session or a few reflection questions or whatever it is. It may be just listening to this and just pausing and asking yourself those questions, but you're right to be able to articulate it. So for me it's starting with writing it down in the, in the um sort of a framework of a belief statement.
Speaker 1:I believe what, what do you believe, what do you believe about hard work? What do you believe about competition? What do you, what do you believe about it? Then you write it down and then to me I read them out loud. So I'm just reading them out loud every day until they're just on the tip of my tongue and then they just become a part of how I communicate. I believe we're wired to be in community. I believe that we're better when we're connected genuinely, because when we're isolated we don't have the feedback, we don't have the superpowers of other people. So that's just a part of what I say now, because it's a part of who I am. But you're right, if it's, if we haven't reflected on it and we haven't said the words out loud, it's like we need to say them out loud. You know I'm a fan of scripting, but not for the sake of sounding like a robot. It's to see where your words, where you stumble with your words and where you don't.
Speaker 2:And you can feel when someone says something they mean. You can feel it Like you when you were even describing the story of the guy, the Tony Robbins, and when you said the word I'm here to protect you. The way you said protect. I can just tell that you probably feel when you're helping a client or growing a realtor that your job is to help protect them. Like I can feel in someone's words when they mean what they say. And I think so many times we've gone on a client call or recruiting call or whatever and we're just like literally trying to throw up stats that someone else told us about the market or whatever else that we've never said out loud until this very moment and just to show off how smart we are because we think that's what's going to get someone to like us and like they don't care.
Speaker 1:They don't, and I think there's a there can be a place for that, because I think it data data backs, it, just backs that decision. You're right, though. When people feel it, there is literally something in their body that responds to whatever is communicating from your body. I'd say it all the time, but I'm like we are animals, we're not just minds, we're not just robots. People feel that, and so there's something that connects them in that moment and goes oh, there's something here. I, like Alison, is what they say, but what they're experiencing is something more.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Like when I send out branding after the fact. I mean, I've been incredibly intentional that I want anything they receive in the mail or an email follow up, for it to remind them of me and feel like me, so that if they liked me and they found that in their belly that they were attracted to me, that it reminds them and instigates that feeling all over again. That's why we do video marketing is because I I send a video follow upup from BombBomb running through numbers again with someone, not because I actually think that they want to re-listen to me explain mortgage numbers. I don't think they care. I think they need to be like oh, that's right, she cares, she wants to help us win, and there was something about it that I just I feel like this girl's on my team and I want to align with her and it just takes people to another. It just takes people to another level with you, right?
Speaker 2:Um, okay, jen, I feel like we could probably do these conversations for three hours. This was great. As we wrap up, if someone wants to work with you, if they want to find you, where can they find you? Where can they follow up with you? All that good stuff.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so Jen at the Jennifer Briggscom is my email. Um, they can find me on Instagram. The Jennifer Briggscom is my email. Um, they can find me on Instagram, jenniferebriggs. Um, my website is the Jennifer Briggscom. So it's all pretty self-explanatory. Happy to do, you know, along with what we talked today. Sometimes people don't need, sometimes they want, long-term coaching, but they might just need a one-off session on, like I call it, a values elicitation. So help me get clear on my values or things like this. I'll do one-on one-off sort of coaching sessions too, but all of that information website, instagram, they can find me. My podcast is not just business related, but that's out there too, the whole shebang.
Speaker 2:So I love it. There's something just so special about you and every, every time you show up, I can just tell you show up with your whole heart and are happy to share and give and truly have this, something in you that truly just cares about other people instantly, right off the bat and bringing out their potential. You just feel it when you talk about everything.
Speaker 2:So, thank you for hopping on and taking the time to do this. I highly recommend doing a one-off session with Jen. I took a bunch of notes today on just the value in articulating that. But even so interesting to me, just at a high level, playing out the why was that a big deal to you? Why was that important to you in finding the value in that in just 30 seconds. I mean that's incredible. So, thank you for taking the time to do this today. Bye.
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