Breakfast of Choices

A Mother's Strength: Escaping Abuse & Embracing Hope with Ashley Aldendorf (Part 2)

• Jo Summers • Episode 21

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Today on Breakfast of Choices, I’m honored to welcome Ashley Aldendorf back to the show for Part 2 of her story. If you have not yet listened to Part 1, you are definitely going to want to go back and listen to last week’s episode. Ashley is a woman whose story of resilience and triumph in the face of unimaginable adversity is truly inspiring. On today’s episode, she openly shares what a mother would never want to hear, that her young daughter disclosed that she had been sexually abused by Ashley's then-husband. She also walks us through the ensuing legal battle which was a frustratingly slow and an ineffective process, leaving Ashley feeling helpless and alone.

Tragically, Ashley's ex-husband later took his own life, further complicating the emotional aftermath for Ashley and her daughter. But through it all, Ashley has refused to be defined by her trauma. Instead, she has channeled her energy into building a thriving professional networking group called Bourbon Boss Babes, where she empowers other women to overcome their own challenges and find their voices.

Ashley's willingness to be vulnerable and share her experiences has the potential to inspire countless others who have been through similar ordeals. Her story is a testament to the power of resilience, and her unwavering determination to turn her pain into purpose is truly remarkable. As we delve into Ashley's journey, you will be left with a renewed sense of hope and the knowledge that even in the darkest of times, it is possible to rise above and create a life of fulfillment and meaning.

Connect with Ashley: https://linktr.ee/bourbonbossbabes

From Rock Bottom to Rock Solid.

We all have them...every single day, we wake up, we have the chance to make new choices.

We have the power to make our own daily, "Breakfast of Choices"

Resources and ways to connect:

Facebook: Jo Summers
Instagram: @Summersjol
Facebook Support: Chance For Change Women’s circle

Website: Breakfastofchoices.com

Urbanedencmty.com (Oklahoma Addiction and Recovery Resources) Treatment, Sober Living, Meetings. Shout out to the founder, of this phenomenal website... Kristy Da Rosa!

National suicide prevention and crisis, hotline number 988

National domestic violence hotline:
800–799–7233

National hotline for substance abuse, and addiction:
844–289–0879

National mental health hotline:
866–903–3787

National child health and child abuse hotline:
800–422-4453 (1.800.4.A.CHILD)

CoDa.org
12. Step recovery program for codependency.

National Gambling Hotline 800-522-4700



Speaker 1:

Welcome to Breakfast of Choices, the weekly podcast that shares life stories of transformation. Each episode holds space for people to tell their true, raw and unedited story of overcoming intense adversity from addiction and incarceration, mental illness, physical and emotional abuse, domestic violence, toxic families, codependency and more. Trauma comes in so many forms. I'm your host, jo Summers, and also someone who hit my lowest point before realizing that I could wake up every day and make a better choice, even if it was a small one. So let's dive into this week's story together to learn from and find hope through someone's journey from rock bottom to rock solid, because I really do believe you have a new chance every day to wake up and make a change, to create your own. Breakfast of Choices. Good morning, welcome to Breakfast of Choices life stories of transformation from rock bottom to rock solid. I'm your host, jo Summers, and today is going to be part two of Ashley Aldendorf's story.

Speaker 1:

If you were not able to tune in last week, I encourage you to listen to Ashley's story from last week. She shared her childhood, the loss of her grandmother and the impact of her abusive childhood and what it had on her self-esteem, her confidence level and just the residual effects of that into adulthood Suicidal thoughts, lack of support, trying to become a different kind of parent herself, toxic relationships, domestic violence, becoming just a better overall parent with her own patterns, with her children, realizing the love that she deserves through you know herself, feeling unworthy, just the complexities of leaving an abusive relationship, that old question of why did they stay? Why do they stay? Why don't they just leave? Ashley had some great insight on that, very well worth listening to. At the end of Ashley's story she was sharing with us an experience of discovering what her daughter had gone through with her ex-husband At the end of her episode last week she was just splitting up with her husband. He had moved in, actually with a co-worker, and she was navigating those challenges already of her girls and seeing their dad. And now in this episode we will be learning something that's gone on between her daughter and her ex-husband the betrayal, just the legalities, the challenges through the legal process, what had happened with her husband not being able to find him and everything that was going on with all of their ongoing struggles.

Speaker 1:

Action is crucial when discovering any type of abuse child abuse, anything with your children. Immediate action is crucial and Ashley's going to share the whole process, honest, vulnerable story of her life that she shared with us, and I appreciate her so much and appreciate her just being able to come on here and share her insight and her own wisdom that she's gained through diving into all of this, really learning to love herself. In the end, it is all about her learning to love herself and teaching her daughter how to learn to love herself. So please tune in and listen with us. She's going to share a little bit about her endeavors that she's doing now with her business in Kentucky, with Bourbon Boss Babes, and kind of where their life is at now, which I so appreciate because, you know, this whole podcast is based on rock bottom to rock solid, and hearing stories of thinking man, how are they going to get through this, to hearing how they got through it and how they're doing now is so inspirational, so full of hope and so encouraging, and I appreciate all of you that do this with me. I just can't thank you enough.

Speaker 1:

Let's listen to Ashley's part two to.

Speaker 2:

So last year at the end of the school year, my ex-mother-in-law decided to take my daughter on vacation with her. So she's never been on vacation before, so she was really excited to go for her first time. They went to Gatlinburg, tennessee, and rented a cabin for a week. While she was gone and while she was there, my nine-year-old explained to her that she had been sexually abused by my then-husband. We were separated when I found out, but he was still seeing my three-year-old and had seen my nine-year-old as well, since me and him had split up. So my thought when she got home from all that was I just need to sit her down, talk to her and, you know, make sure she knows what that means. You know, move on, move on from there.

Speaker 2:

You know my mother-in-law, ex-mother-in-law. She is a social worker in the state of Ohio, so she's a mandated reporter and she was like I don't want to overrides me in any way, but I want you to know what's going on before something was said, and I told her that I would talk to Dixie, who my nine-year-old is, and that I would get you know the story and that I would take precautions as I see Finn as a mother. So I took her out for ice cream just wanted to kind of get her out, just me and her and he stopped, got ice cream. I told her that I had some things I wanted to talk to her about, some things that were brought up on her trip that I think we needed to clarify and just really, you know, talk about some things. She knew exactly what I was talking about, so she told her Nana that she was sexually abused because of an assembly that they had at school. I know they do this in most schools. They have an assembly, they talk about physical abuse, emotional abuse, and then they talk about sexual abuse.

Speaker 2:

Well, until this time she didn't know that that's what it was, you know, she just thought it was something everyone went through. It was at that time that she realized what was happening to her was in fact sexual abuse, and she hid it for a little while longer after that and she was afraid to tell anyone because she didn't think that anyone would believe her. But she got to the point where she wanted to tell someone because she was afraid for her sister. And this is how brave that little girl was is she didn't care about her emotion and care about what he had went through. At the time, she was so worried about her little sister acting to endure into a door that that she felt like, if she didn't tell that, she was going to be going down the same path. Wow, what had happened to her as well. So, really, in all sincerity, that's why she told me.

Speaker 1:

Wow, let me ask you this, ashley. Up until this point, obviously, you didn't have any idea. No, no, you have been so you have told this because I know you've shared this story before, so it comes out pretty easy now for you. Yeah, what were you feeling at the time that your ex-mother-in-law told you this?

Speaker 2:

how were you feeling, girl? Completely honest, I have always been that mother bear. You know, I take being a mother bear seriously, yeah, you know, like my childhood wasn't the greatest, of course. So I do times ten for my. So when I heard that, I instantly like, well, that couldn't have happened. And then I said, you know what? I need to hear her talk Because I don't want my reaction, I didn't want my reaction to be right off the bat Well, we don't just, we just don't need to believe her. Well, what I wanted to do was hear her side. I wanted to hear what she said, wanted to do was hear her side. I want to hear what she said because I'm also a mother to where I have I've never put her in a situation where she knows what those certain words are.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, those girls have this and boys have this, but you know, she, she wouldn't know certain things. I never put her in any of that situation. You know, she's still too young to be watching like x-rated movies. So I really, you know, I said I left work. I was at work when I found out I left and I would. I said I'm, I'm gonna go straight to her and I'm gonna talk to her because you know, I don't, I didn't want it to be on her chest.

Speaker 2:

You know I want her to be able to talk about it. So I literally left work, came to her, took her to ice cream and it was like I was talking to an adult. She told me a little bit of what happened, told me that he used to call it daddy-daughter time and he would sit her on the couch with him under some blankets and you know, he would do things he wasn't supposed to do to her. I will share the more as we go through it, but at this point the only thing I knew happened was he put his fingers inside of her. That was enough for me to want to burn his house, okay okay, yeah, girl, absolutely 100 percent.

Speaker 1:

No, whatever you gotta say, whatever emotion you gotta feel, I'm good, it's okay you, you feel it that was my felt it together while she was in the car with me.

Speaker 2:

I felt it to go there while she was in the car with me and you know, at this point she was upset. She's saying that you know, he like basically that he knew better than that. He said he never did that to her and that he loved him so much. And how can he betray her love like that? And you know, and I had conversations with her, you know, like the world's not rainbows and sunshine. I hate for you to be nine years old and know that, but the world is not. It is not rainbows and sunshine.

Speaker 2:

And when you're a woman you have to be very careful about red flags. And you know, really pay attention to your surroundings and who you're putting yourself around. You know, I told her it's not your fault, it's not your fault. You know, if you couldn't have made sure that this not happened by acting any type of way, made sure that this not happened by acting any type of way, you are a child. You have no idea what was even going on before you had this assembly. So that right there tells you. You know you had no idea and, like I said, I did very well until I got home.

Speaker 2:

So I got home and got her to bed that night and I lost my shit. I instantly was just upset. I could not imagine ever that he would betray me like that, that he would take advantage of my baby like that. That you know, as he touched my little daughter, you know if he's touched one of them, how does he touch the other. I calmed myself down and I feel like I did the best decision that any mother could do that situation and I called CPS and I put a, I gave them the information. So it was basically like calling CPS on myself you started a case basically started.

Speaker 2:

I called them, I left them and I'm like this is what my daughter is telling me. I've never put her in a situation where she would know these words, unless it actually happened to her. Something needs to be done and you know, I talked to CPS for about an hour, hour and a half, two hours, explained everything with detail. You know, cried on the phone with this lady. It was just still really fresh and really new. So you know, they did the basic. We'll get in touch in 24 to 48 hours.

Speaker 2:

Three days go by. Three days go by. I haven't received a phone call from anyone. The weekend is coming up by my, my three-year-old, supposed to go over there. You know I'm sitting and dwelling in this for three days, the fact that my baby, I went through this and that I wasn't there to protect her as I didn't know that there was anything to protect her from. You know, I'm I'm at this point. I'm like what the hell were they doing over there? This isn't an adult, this is a baby, and no one's called me yet. So I call the police department from the town that I had moved to. So this town is about an hour from where I moved to.

Speaker 2:

We live about an hour south now of where in him had lived, and then he moved into the next state over okay so it had happened in two different places for her, but not in the place that I had called the fire the police department. So I called this police department. I let this guy know. Dude, it's been three days I haven't heard from a cds worker. I haven't heard from anyone. Like I'm sitting over here in my own and I'm gonna burn his ass out, like why hasn't anybody called me or done anything? I'm keeping my mouth shut, which is very hard for me. I didn't peep a word to him, nothing. I didn't want him to know that anything was coming yeah so you know, I called him, I'm do something.

Speaker 2:

And he immediately got off the phone. He called CPS. He sent CPS to my house and he entered my house and they interviewed my daughter and when they interviewed her, you know she was upset, she was going to come, but she did not know that it was going to be a police officer and a CPS worker. And I wasn't there, I was at work. So they told me they were on their way to the rest home and you know, I basically got here at the end of it and they were just talking to her taking down the statements and that they could make a police report. And you know everything.

Speaker 2:

And I look at this CPS agent which, mind you, I'm a grown-ass adult and she looked like she's just out of high school. She had an oversized t-shirt on and leggings with dirty tennis shoes, didn't look like she even cared to be there, didn't look like a cps worker, you know, look like it was. Just, they were in a hurry and had to get something may happen. So she was there. I let that go, okay. Then I'm like okay, so what are our next steps? What do I need to do?

Speaker 2:

I said, uh, my three-year-old is supposed to go to his house this weekend and go over my dead body. Will he go? Will she go? And you know, at this time I still haven't said anything to him. So I need to know what my next steps are so that I can legally do this, because legally we were still married. So if he'd gotten a hold of her he could have kept her and I could have done nothing about it Because we were still married, basically, and we would have to have went to court and had something in writing. So over my dead body would he have gotten her his hand on? Yeah, like I said before, you know, this is a grown man. He's 6'5", he has 350 pounds. He was no little fella and I didn't want him trying to pop at my door getting my daughter.

Speaker 1:

Mm-hmm.

Speaker 2:

So what do I do? Well, they said well, first thing you're going to need to do is go put an EPO out on him. Okay, so this is more paperwork for you to do. We're not handling nothing, you know. I said, okay, so I need to do an EPO. What else needs to be done? The CPS left a look to me and said if you, if you want to, if you're going to want to do criminal charges on him, if I'm going to want to do criminal charges on him, that I need to make sure that I keep every appointment that gets set up, because any appointment that is missed they will not reschedule, and doing any of that pretty much puts it in a spot to where they won't pursue it. So I said what does she mean? Like, what did she mean?

Speaker 1:

by that like you need to keep any appointment that is scheduled. What does that mean?

Speaker 2:

basically she's they set up, you know, for her to go to the advocate center, so for your daughter's appointment. Your daughter's appointment okay I go to her interview or not to go, you know, or if I was to refuse her to get her physical exam, they would have not pursued it okay, okay, I understand that's what she meant and, okay, that's fine.

Speaker 2:

You know she set up that appointment. The police took off all the information and you know we're on. You know a week goes by I've not heard you. I'm sorry, let me back up here. That same night I went to the police department and filed an EPO on him. Okay, I stated in there exactly what she had told me and that I feared for my three-year-old to go over there and they granted it. Once they granted it, he wasn't allowed to have contact with me, lucy or Dixie. So I never talked to him, never got to EPO by Fox, that was all. Sissy was sick. I didn't have to worry about her going over there. I felt a little better.

Speaker 2:

A week later they did her forensic forensic interview. So we went to the children's advocate center. I had to take off work again. We went to the children's advocacy advocate center in Lexington, kentucky, and they did her forensic interview. And then they did a forensic exam on both Dixie and Lucy.

Speaker 2:

That was the most horrifying thing I've ever seen a child go through, literally like they. They had to pry both of their legs apart and it it literally broke my heart and I'm sitting there crying with them so I can't control my and I'm, I'm feeling really like, you know, like horrible while we're there. You know, dixie was so strong, she did the whole interview without any stops and she did the forensic, you know, examination, but with dren and I did not know this before or I may have been like, hey, no, let's not do that, and and you just do the phylicic interview, but they didn't see anything. But kids heal faster down there than adults and adults even heal fast down there as far as you know, like having children, anything like that, you know they heal fast down there. So there was no signs of a plague, other than a broken hymen from my nine-year-old.

Speaker 1:

Okay, for your oldest daughter. Okay, yeah, that's a sign. So yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2:

So we took all that information, you know, and I signed all types of paperwork, literally a book of paperwork I'm having to explain this over and over and over again, over and over and over again and sign papers for this to be released, and this to be released, and this and this and that, and you know we were finally done with the day and I was exhausted. Yeah, you know, we sat there for a long time and I was exhausted.

Speaker 2:

You know, we sat there for a long time and I was exhausted. We came home and I literally I just so overwhelmed at that point, like with all of this, yeah, Okay, Well, what we do next is, I guess you know CPS will call me and let me know what's going on. And you know, now they have all the evidence and they can take our video and decide what they want to do. No, no, Not at all. We went, we had to go to court for our EPO hearing and they made him come down here for the hearing and this was the first time I had seen him since everything had happened, but we still had an EPO so he couldn't talk to me. So the emotions watching him walk into that courtroom like he did nothing wrong and him look at me.

Speaker 1:

I had to go to the bathroom and throw up yeah, the having to be strong for yourself, the having to be strong for your children. I just can't even imagine Ashley. I really can't even imagine ashley.

Speaker 2:

I really can't one, I had someone come to court with me so I didn't try to attack him because my mind is going to how can I burn his house down? Because I'm not getting any help yet. So you know, really, court was very, very interesting and I was lucky enough to have a very strong support system through all of this. And we go to court, we sit in front of a judge. The judge looks at him and says would you like supervised visitations of your three-year-olds? He said absolutely I would. Over my dead body, I interrupt everything over my dead body. Will he get to even look her in the eye until this stuff is done? And we know what happened, I said I will not allow supervised visitations. And the judge looked at me and said well, your daughter will have to come here and testify to her story against him in front of him. Well, it's okay. Okay, Like what is that you know?

Speaker 1:

so they make a nine-year-old come and testify in front of her dad and abuser and put her through that they wanted to.

Speaker 2:

So they set us up with a guardian at light on, which is basically somebody you know. They take control of the children. They do what's best for them. At this point, epo, you know it's been continued that same day. I still haven't heard anything as far as charges being admitted, anything. I call it worst town, which is where I live. I say what the F?

Speaker 1:

Yeah this is where we live.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, he's lost. He works in a big plant in a big town that does you know field trips for kids. He's around kids. He lives within a walking distance of a park and a ski, like what is going on. This Georgetown officer took my job and said that he apologized, that he couldn't do anything about it because I didn't live in his jurisdiction where it happened.

Speaker 1:

Okay.

Speaker 2:

Okay, he said what he can do is he could get a police report and I could take it myself to the towns in which it happened and start a case that way so you have to do all this?

Speaker 1:

what you have to do, the separate cases at the police station, yes, no okay.

Speaker 2:

So they gave me the police report and I took off work the next day. So, with me taking off work the next day, I'm, I'm, I'm still new to the job I was at. I just had the twins in january of that year. This is just may. I literally just got back to work. They're getting angry at this point that I'm taking and they're not happy. So, okay, well, I have to take off anyways.

Speaker 2:

I took dixie with me and we traveled for an hour to where it happened and I talked to the detective. Wasn't there for me to talk to, so I got his name and the phone number, wrote all this stuff down. I was keeping really good blogs and all this stuff at this point and you know I was told would get back with me the next day. I left the police report for him. You know I told him that the first few incidents happened here. You know it was down the street where we lived. You're the district that it's in. Okay, then I have to go to a big city, because he now lives in a big city in Cincinnati, which is very many different districts. I had to go to different districts before I found the proper one and basically I have to fill out paperwork, I have to give them the report and I have to give it to them and I will hear something within 24 to 48 hours. So I took the whole day off, took, you know, both towns, took her with me just in case I need to talk to her. I didn't get to speak to anyone, but both of the districts are now aware and you know, hopefully something will be done, okay, okay, so we're doing that.

Speaker 2:

The next day I don't hear anything from anybody. Second day nothing from nobody. Third day comes. I said if these people you know, so I call. Third day comes. I said if these people do not do this, so I call. I call Cincinnati and they say well, we gave that to Lieutenant so-and-so and this is her phone number and this is how I get a hold of her. Okay, I call Park Hills, which is on the other side, and they do the same thing Give me a phone number and give me a line and a call.

Speaker 2:

I called the mail first in Kentucky, no idea what I was talking about, hadn't read my police report, didn't know what I was talking about. I said well, go ahead, take you a few minutes to read the police report and give me a call back. Would you take you a few minutes to read the police report and give me a call back, would you? And that's how I got off the phone with him. As I got off the phone with him, I guess I started ruffling some feathers because the detective and said daddy called me. Sweet lady, you know, I started talking with her about things. You know, tell her everything that's gone on since this point and they start their investigation with their investigators and the first thing they had to do was get all the stuff that she had done so they can look at it. So at this point, still walking around, you know, at this point cps has seen the video that she put out and they've decided that they're going to file charges.

Speaker 1:

Okay.

Speaker 2:

So we now go to court for the second time for our EPO hearing, and they continue it. They decide to put our EPO hearing and our cabinet case together and that we will be seen one time for that.

Speaker 1:

Okay.

Speaker 2:

Mind you, he did not have to come back to the courthouse. They allowed him court over for his convenience because, he lived so far away.

Speaker 1:

I'm glad it was convenient.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I'm so glad that they were convenient, I mean, but I had to come to every court date on at the courthouse and take off work to do so. At this point I got fired for my attendance yeah and you know, so that was great.

Speaker 2:

And you know she's she's already feeling bad because, yeah, this office is going on and I'm stressed out and you know she's, she knows that I'm going through it like I'm having to do the absolute most for it to be a big deal, yeah, and she literally looked and was like how come? How come nobody cares that, cares that this happened to me?

Speaker 1:

Gosh that's terrible, that's horrible.

Speaker 2:

I was at a loss. I started to have stuff to say to her, like I don't know how to tell you what I don't know. I don't know why they're not, you know, putting forth this effort, you know. So, at this point, you know, I told him if she's to testify, you're going to hear my mouth because she's not ready for that and she's nine years old and you know. So the detectives cut in all that and was like, if she testifies, she's going to testify to his know. So the detectives cut in all that and was like, if she testifies, she's going to testify to his case. You know what I mean. And we want to make comfortable as as her, and we would most likely do like a recording of it instead of that court.

Speaker 2:

I said that that's fine, that's way better than what they're trying to do with this epo. Yeah, so we've continued the EPO now still can't, you know, get contact, none of this. And they've had, they've had a meeting with him and they, you know the detective, called me and was like things don't line up, things aren't making sense. You know, we're detecting some aren't right, you know. Okay, I said okay, so we have them to do a polygraph test, okay, on him, on him. So you know. They've talked to him now twice and they scheduled a polygraph test for July the 26th.

Speaker 1:

And when is this? Right now that you're, what day is it you're hearing this?

Speaker 2:

This is like July 10th.

Speaker 1:

Okay.

Speaker 2:

Okay, so we still had to go to court one more time before they had a hearing before he did his polygraph test. Okay, so we go to court. This is supposed to be the the time where it's all confined now and you know, now things are getting, you know, together again. He didn't have to be at court, but they rang him on the phone not answer, so he did not attend that day. They just discontinued it. They were, I'm sorry that, discontinued, extended it we did they extended it and you know that.

Speaker 2:

Well, we have to send letters saying that you know he did not appear in court but that he needs to get a toning, because now we have to deal with this cps case. And I said, okay, I said so in any other case. As he doesn't show up, you guys put a warrant on him, but in this case we're not. Oh no, we don't feel like in this case it needs that. Okay. Okay, this is the Wednesday before the 26th. I say okay, all right, whatever floats your all float, I get out of there. I'm mad that my colleague didn't show up. They would have dismissed it, but because he didn't show up, he got it. Have dismissed it, but because he didn't show up, he got it extended.

Speaker 1:

That's not good.

Speaker 2:

After all the things that I had you know, sure, you know.

Speaker 1:

and her feeling like that you know what I mean, feeling like this is no big deal, this is just no big deal and it was a huge deal and that's so. I just feel for her so much that she was feeling that same.

Speaker 2:

you know, when you were a little girl and you felt like you were not important and you're sitting there watching that is just as a mom oh my goodness part saying yeah, now I'm struggling to try to figure out how I'm gonna pay bills because I'm not working and not giving me money now because of course we got all this going on and you know I'm at a loss. You know he didn't, you know, show up for court, like what the hell is going on. So you know. So called me the monday before his polygraph test, the detective in cincinnati. They said, you know, he's been really good about answering our emails and confirming dates, but we keep trying to confirm wednesday with him and he's not. He's he's not confirming with us. I take that back. This was Thursday, the day before he was supposed to do his polygraph test. So I'm like, you know, I'm I'm not sure. You know, guys, I haven't talked to him. And they're like, okay. I said, well, you know, it's like 6, 7 o'clock, he's at work. You know he's a person that he's not going to work. So he's at work, he works our shift, that's where he's at. And they're like, okay, we'll send an officer there just to double check. He knows about it. They send an officer to miss work. They call me back because he has been a no-call, no-show for two days at work. Well, which is unlike him. You know, I immediately was like spotty to be worried about that, because he's not the type of person to just no-call, no-show at work, like he worked during covid. He was an essential work worker. He went to work with covid like he, yeah, he don't work, not work. So to have two no call, no show days.

Speaker 2:

My red flags went up, you know, and they're they're like well, you know what about his house? And I'm like, well, I said I'm still considering his wife. Can I have you all do a like a welfare check on him? You know, because they were afraid that he had done something, was at his room or something, because he lived in a big house that had separate rooms and he would rent the rooms out. And he was in the basement and you know, they knock on the door and the guy there is like a couple of days, let me go knock on his door.

Speaker 2:

They knock on his door, you know. They're like we don't know where he's at here. They're trying to get all of the landlords so they can like get in and make sure that everything's okay. But she's literally telling me like there's no stinky smells coming from the door, the door's locked, and answering and I'm like, okay, that's weird. That's weird. He's not at work and he's not at home, like he's not really the person that mingles with people or anything like that. So I'm confused of where he might be. Guys, guys, you know, I don't know.

Speaker 1:

So are you thinking that he might have ran at this point, like scared that he might have moved, ran just?

Speaker 2:

took off. I'm concerned that he was going to run to Texas. He has family in eastern Kentucky and he also had family in Texas, and so at this point, I'm just kind of like he's running Better run from this in eastern Kentucky and he also had family in Texas, mm-hmm.

Speaker 1:

And so at this point.

Speaker 2:

I'm just kind of like he's running Mm-hmm, better run from this.

Speaker 1:

That's not going to happen.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, so you know, the night keeps going on and I'm getting this really bad feeling in my stomach like he's not, they can't get a hold of him. You know broke down his door. Everything's the same in his room, nothing's changed, nothing out of place, but no one knows where he's at, while I still had him on book and on messenger I just hadn't talked to him so I could see that his little white was green and that he was active. So he's out there somewhere, you know like. So I really need y'all to figure out what the hell's going on yeah you know, the next day is his polygraph test.

Speaker 2:

You know that's when the everything will be said and done. They take the results of the polygraph test, they present it to the prosecutor in Kentucky, the prosecutor in Ohio and their charges decide if they want to pursue the charges, if they have enough evidence in order to pursue charges. So this is what we're waiting for. All of this happened in May this is July In early May this is the end of July. Okay, so we just I go to bed that night and I'm up hit in my stomach, and I my door banging on my door, like my apartment was on fire. I mean, I was scared, it was so loud and I ran to the door and they're like have you heard from Detective blah, blah, blah? And I'm like no, like I just woke up. What's going on? Nobody would tell me anything. We just needed to make sure you were safe, okay.

Speaker 1:

Whoa.

Speaker 2:

So I'm like okay, mom, we're good. I said I just woke up. You know I got a couple of calls on my phone, I'll call them and I wanted to make sure Dixie was okay, walked in there, she was good, waking up. You wanted to make sure Dixie was okay, walked in there, she was good, waking up. You know she was saying she was scared. Yeah, the twins were up Like everyone's cool, everyone's kosher, you know.

Speaker 2:

So I called the detective. Of course, like always, he didn't answer. So I got the message and told him like hey, I had some police officers at my door and they just wanted me to call you, you know, said that you need to talk to me. He calls me and he's, you know, he don't call me first. I have a a different police department, like a different district. Call me and they're asking me questions. When's the last time you talked to leslie? You know, and I'm telling them, the last time I've seen leslie, like in face, was at the epo hearing we had at first, and I haven't physically talked to him since, before all this started. You know, and I'm telling them all this, they're they're asking me like just weird questions, like what? Like? They're like yeah, they're just asking their questions, basically like where's the last time I talked to him? Have I seen him in the last 24 hours? Was I home all night, and things like that.

Speaker 1:

Are they thinking at this point? Are they thinking you did something to him? I?

Speaker 2:

don't know what they were saying at this point.

Speaker 1:

Okay.

Speaker 2:

But so when the detective finally calls, I said is there something I need to know? I said, because people keep calling me and they're asking me weird ass questions. Nobody at this point is telling me what is going on. And he was like I'm calling to let you know that Mr Ruggles took his life. What he said yeah, I'm calling to tell you that he took his life.

Speaker 2:

And I was like and why did you guys bang on my door like that at 8 o'clock in the morning? Because he was staying at a hotel and the hotel door was locked at a hotel and the hotel door was locked. And when they found him and noticed that he had an EPO against him, they were afraid that he had done something to us and that he was, you know, going back now. And they did that. And I was like oh my goodness, no. So you know, I'm just like lost at this point. I don't, oh my goodness, no. So you know, I'm just like lost at this point. I don't know what to do. I just kind of like, okay. He says well, honey, you're his next of kin. So you know, we have to tell you, because you're his next of kin.

Speaker 2:

I'm like so you're not contacting anyone else, no, so they want you to tell everybody perfect, yeah, so I had fun with them. I didn't have very many questions. I was lost in the sauce pretty much and was like what did I just hear you know, like what just happened? And so I'm getting my thoughts together. I call him back. How did he kill himself? Okay, I said he had a self-inflicted gun gunshot to the head. I said are you sure? They say yeah, you know, they found the gun in his hand. And then this officer was like I really hope that you all are not planning on having an open casket funeral, because he'll have made that impossible. Okay, I get on the phone again. I'm like I can't keep doing this today.

Speaker 1:

Was that necessary to be said Right?

Speaker 2:

It's at that point where I've Now I'm like freaking A, I have to, I have to let his family know. It's only right of me, you know, like I would not want you know and like I have people who were like no well, they would have never known what happened if I didn't tell them. So I felt like I had to do that, like as a person I could not have lived with myself to not call them and let them know what had happened and to call the mother of his son and let you know, them know that he don't have his daddy anymore and that you know he's dead. And you know I didn't really want to call his son over the phone, really want to call his son over the phone. I got in my car and was going to make an hour and 15 minute drive to his house to, you know, sit down and talk to him and make sure he was okay before I left.

Speaker 2:

After going through all this I haven't seen him since he split up but I was worried about him and I I called his aunt, who he talked to a lot and you know I had them all blocked because of us divorcing and going through you know operation and things. So I had to unblock them in order to be like, hey, I need to discuss something with you. It is very important. Can you call me? She calls me first thing out of her mouth. We know what you're doing, leslie, can I help you this?

Speaker 2:

I said well, I just feel like it was my place that I needed to call you and let you know that this morning he committed suicide. What, what kind of person are you that you just wake up and you decide to call us like this? Bring us, like what kind of person would want to mess with his family and tell us that he killed himself? I don't want to call you, I don't want to talk to you. I don't want to have him do this. Yes, he killed himself, and if you don't believe me, here's where it happened. You can call them and they'll verify it. She hung up on me. She hung up on me. She called them and verified it and then called me back. What happened? What happened? I said well, yon is with you. He had his lie detector test today. I guess he was a little unsure how that was going to turn out. You know that was a little scared. That's the only realistic thing.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2:

And body, besides his family, that looks in. You know, on the outside looking in, that's the same thing. He was guilty. He was guilty and he knew that he was gonna have to go to jail and face the consequences because I wasn't giving up on my baby no and he's life now I'm having nine-year who is.

Speaker 2:

she doesn't even know what to say. He is in tears because now her sister doesn't have a dad and you know his son doesn't have a dad and you know she's lost a dad figure and it was hard on her.

Speaker 1:

Feeling rich, my gosh feeling rich, my gosh.

Speaker 2:

You know I say that I was in that, that real, you know yin yang kind of position, like on one side it's my god, like how can you do that to your babies? And like how how could your life be so bad? Do you do that? Like I? Just I, I find that suicide is a really hard subject when it comes to people passing away and I would never, I'd never, wish that on anyone, regardless of what very, very difficult you know.

Speaker 2:

So at this whole time we're sitting here and we're thinking about it and you know I'm just like how I number one, so none of my questions have been answered at all. I'm left with so many questions like why, why were you in erlinger? Why were you at a hotel? And now he walked into the woods and he just blew his brains out and like what were you thinking? And where the hell did you get a gun?

Speaker 2:

And like the whole time we were together, I've always been that towed a gun type of person. I grew up in the country and my gun never like something that scared me. I knew how to use it. Now I got my CCW when I was really young. So I have a 9mm and I would go to the gun range and he'd go with me, but he didn't like the sound of the gun or any of the other guns going off. So if you've ever been to a range before, like a Plexiglas, you can watch. Yeah, yeah, waiting for him. Yeah, put weights in the lobby for me. Wow, let me go in there and do that. So I'm like at this point where I'm like, wow, what the hell is going on here.

Speaker 1:

Well, you're trying to make sense of it. You know you're trying to make sense of it. When it's you're, it's like making sense of nonsense. You know what I mean. It's hard to put it all together. It's hard to all of that.

Speaker 2:

At this point I'm just like I'm crying. I feel so bad. You know, they're all questions about what we're going to do, how we're going to do this. Let's go get his stuff from here. Let's go get his stuff from there and, to be honest, I don't feel like this is my place with everything that is going on. But legally, I'm the only one who has no. So now I'm just at a loss and I'm just like what? Why do we have this? Like, what is this? And I'm sitting there like number one. The law I got no justice, but I feel like the law did absolutely everything except what I needed them to do, and I was them to do Mm-hmm.

Speaker 2:

And I was getting no help. I'm having to take off work, I'm having to do all this myself. When all it takes from them is a call from police to police, it makes it get so much faster than what I could get stuff done. Well, he never sat a day in jail. He never got a day of justice, he never got an hour of justice, and I feel as if the only thing he did was you know, leave people with questions. You, you know, you took a cowardly way out, and that's just not what I expected from him, and also not what I expected everything that it come out as yeah so you know.

Speaker 2:

Now we're dealing with this confusion. Cecil's like number one. No one gave a freak while we were through all of this, and the day he killed himself, everything was dropped, every single thing was dropped. I got a call from every person that the case has been dismissed. The case has been dismissed, the case has been dismissed. That's all I heard all day long.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

So it was a simple fix for him. You know he was able to get away with whatever he wanted to get away with by doing that and I feel as if he should have been incarcerated. You know he should have been sitting in jail waiting for that polygraph test and did that polygraph test and read those results before they let him go.

Speaker 2:

You know, with it being a child and him being a grown man, yeah, it went on way too long and you know, not only do I feel like I got no justice, the police were unhelpful, cps was unhelpful, all the departments that they give you and things. They basically told me to start taking her to counseling. That's the only way anything was going to get fixed, and I got news for people who were going through such a cyst counseling.

Speaker 1:

Don't do a lick it when your nine-year-old is afraid to tell them what's going on or what has went on yeah, well, she's got to be so confused and every now not knowing what to say and what not to say, and look at all that happened because I did say something, and I mean gosh, that is just overwhelmed overwhelmed, a rock and a hard place kind of thing, and you know she doesn't know how to feel.

Speaker 2:

She doesn't know rather than because, yeah, hurt me, or he's the only one she had at that time and it's been really rough on her and I'll have to say we've been constant counseling for over a year. She's been in multiple inpatient hospitals for suicide ideation at nine years old, to the point where I feel like I have to be on guard for seven because that is the least thing that I think I can handle at this point. So you know, I really had to at that point be completely real with her and tell her like suicide is no joking matter.

Speaker 1:

Boom.

Speaker 2:

And you know, when you say that I'm going to every time take very careful precautions for you, don't bite the patient or not. If you mention those words to me, that's exactly where you'll go Every time and I don't care if I have to pick you up and send you there kicking and screaming. I refused to wake up one day with the police banging on my door to tell me that you killed yourself because of all of this, because you're better. Yeah, and I've really had to. Just, we have a lot of conversations and we have to spend a lot of alone time together, alone time together. And I will tell you that, as she is getting her help and as she is, you know, really starting to open up about the things that he had done to her, it was a lot worse than what I thought at the beginning and you know I didn't find out the rest until recently.

Speaker 2:

Wow, and you know she's still working very hard every day for her self-image. She hates herself, she hates the way she looks. She cut her hair off and I mean, my daughter had beautiful long hair and her hair's shorter than mine. She cut her hair off. She said that she didn't feel beautiful anymore. She sometimes she wakes up and she feels like she's the most beautiful person in the world and she can accomplish greatness. Sometimes I have to let her lay in bed because she is physically unable to go through the day at nine years old. We talk a lot about mental health in our household.

Speaker 2:

You know I don't let it be a secret that I struggle for mental health, and you know, my mother struggles for mental health and you know, we know what it's like, so don't think we don't. She got diagnosed with PTSD. She started having really bad nightmares and he was coming after her, so they put her on medication that they give grown-ass men that come home from war with ptsd, and every time I send her to a hospital she comes back on one more medication yeah and do I think it's doing her any good?

Speaker 2:

no, what is it keeping her well enough to where she can try to cope a little bit? So we still struggle with this every day. No, every day is day, you know. Every day is a new challenge. Every day is a new day. I never know if she's gonna wake up in the mood to want to kill herself, or wake up in the mood to where she loves him and wants to talk about it, or she hates him and wants to set him on fire, or the latest is she's wanting to pee on his grave, but we don't know where his grave is.

Speaker 2:

I gave his family all of the permissions to do what they wanted to do after that day. I physically couldn't do it. I can't do it with you all. They wanted to do an open casket funeral after that Police had told me all that I wasn't no. Casket funeral after the police had told me all that I wasn't no. You know, like if y'all want to do that stuff and horrify it to my.

Speaker 2:

So we didn't go to his funeral. He had a celebration of life. We were not invited. I asked them that when they went through his stuff in his apartment if they could give me something so I could hold back for Lucy. I'd greatly appreciate it. I didn't get that. His, his baby mama got his phone from his possession and blocked me on his Facebook, so I have none of our photos put together, because I got on there and was more than honest about how I felt about everything, but in a nice way it's okay and it was really like really something that I had to go forward with and I really had to like figure out how to cope with all of that yeah, now you've been saying that Dixie's in counseling, you are as well, correct yes, yes, I am okay.

Speaker 2:

So I think that our big, our big thing right now is trying to communicate with each other, because of course, I have PTSD, so she has more of like an every PTSD. Sometimes she raised her voice and, you know, in part one you start yelling at me, I disassociate.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

So, you know, I disassociate, I can't really S with you or communicate with you when you're yelling. That's really what we've had to do is like she has to understand that I can't do that and I had to really understand that. There are a lot of triggers, you know, and I had to be. They also thought that it would be a very good idea for me to do therapy, because I kept having this dream that I'm trying to stop him.

Speaker 2:

He's, you know, running, he's walking, just walking into the woods, walking his way to the woods, and I'm running after him and I can't keep up, I can't catch him. And you know, I'm screaming for him and I'm screaming for him at the top of my so loudly that I feel my throat being hoarse in the stream. You know, I'm don't do it, yelling at everything and he just he's fucked me into the woods and then all I see is I. Then I made my way to him. I finally get there. He's facing me and I say, leslie, it's not worth it, don't do this to your kids. And he just says it's worth it and blows his head off. And that's why I wake up every time. Same words, every time, same movement, every time. It's literally like I wake up every time Saying words, every time, saying movement every time. It's literally like watching a movie every time.

Speaker 1:

So you can't change it. You can't change that. It happened. It's not your fault. You're never going to change it, and I think maybe that is truly how he felt. Maybe you are really seeing and hearing how he felt.

Speaker 2:

What I did, you know what I mean, was wrong, and taking myself out of the equation was right, and maybe that's just truly how he felt no, and I, I true you know, like his family, don't really talk to me, but his brother has made contact with me and let me know that there was a situation, when they were children, where he told his mom that he got molested and no one believed him. And you know, granted, granted, he hurt my baby. I feel for him to have had you gone through that.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, a lot had support and he never told you right, he never told you no. Yeah, I am very grateful to his brother for reaching out to you and telling you that, because, just as a human being, that you needed to be able to feel something. You know what I mean. You needed to be able to have a feeling that wasn't just confusion and mass chaos, you know.

Speaker 2:

And I'll have to admit when that happened. You know we are Christians. We're not like church every Sunday, like Christians, but we're Christians and he was atheist. So you know, as I grew, christians and he was atheist. So you know, as I grew up, it was always they're in a better place. You know they're in. You know they're in heaven and we can look at the sky and we can talk to them and you know they can be with us. They're here every day. They're in the sun and they're in the grass and the trees and they're all around. What do you say to your nine-year-old who asks you, how do you contact him and help? So I really started. You know, I really spent my energy on like trying to. You know, get some answers that way and you know where I could find. You know, get some answers that way and you know where I could find. Give me some answers. I've had, I've had a medium who I tried so hard and so hard to connect with him.

Speaker 1:

He let her in you wouldn't have done the same. Actually, I've done the same. I also have a ex-husband honest to be honest. I have two ex-husbands that have committed suicide. I have done the same thing with with my ex, the one I was married to for a very long time. I have tried the medium as well, and she told me that I'll be honest with you. I just am not able sometimes to connect with people. I'm not good with people that have committed suicide.

Speaker 2:

When I actually went and sat down with her, she said he won't let me in. And I'm like what do you mean? And you know she describes him to a T, and he sat there like this and wouldn't let her and I was like no, that doesn't surprise me.

Speaker 1:

I mean, he kept his own secret. Yeah, he kept his own secret because he wasn't believed, so that doesn't surprise me at all that to not let someone in I I think about it a lot.

Speaker 2:

You know it's still very fresh here. We're still dealing with counseling. Dixie sees three different people a week and a medication specialist once a month. You know, every every week gets a little easier and yeah he's able to talk a little more about it and she gets a little better.

Speaker 1:

But we still have some time, and so things are normal, if not absolutely she's I mean, I am so I don't even know what the words are grateful's, not even enough that she has you having her back and really trying to get her through this as much as you have been yourself that you didn't just shut down and Talia you could have just, you know, just shut it down, but just staying with her. I can't imagine Ashley I mean girl, you have been through it and I so thank you for sharing the story because you can talk about. I've been abused or I've been molested or I've been raped. People that have never been through a situation to that magnitude don't really understand what the ripple effects that that causes.

Speaker 2:

It was very difficult for me to look at my nine-year-old and say. It's very difficult for me to look at my nine-year-old and say, Honey, I've never been through this situation. You know I wasn't molested as a child, so you're right, I don't know how you feel but, baby, I'm trying. I read everything there is to read in multiple support groups on Facebook. I try anything that they ask me to try with counseling.

Speaker 2:

I'm very open to whatever you think will make her feel better. I'm open to it and even if that means you know me and her have talked about you know, whatever, whatever she needs, I'm here for her, Even if that's not how some people would see that happening. You know like I'll try whatever for real and she knows that. You know I get a lot of the acting out that she has and I get a lot of the backlash and the attitude and the. She's now stole from the mall and she tries to leave my house looking like a 30 year old and you know I get all that, but I get all that because our house is her safe place yeah she sounds like she can be comfortable at home.

Speaker 2:

Her dad is not the emotions I can't really talk to her about it. So I really, me and my mom are out there to really, you know, talk and tell us how she really feels. So, with all that being said, while we've been dealing with this and I mean I've been dealing with it I also decided to start a business and you know it wasn't going very well. It wasn't going very well and I had to let my now partner, valerie, and she really sent me the way of what I could do. I had really just put myself down to where I didn't think that I could accomplish greatness like that. And you know my whole life I felt like I'm not enough and she has really made me feel like I'm just what is needed to move forward with what we do.

Speaker 2:

So we have collaborated and we started a professional networking group called Mervyn Boss Babes here in Kentucky, and I've been really using it as an outlet in order for me to talk about mental health, because we are offering resources to help women grow their business, you know, flourishing their business, ways to market without paying a bunch of money, ways to use networking as to effectively network. But if you're not talking and collaborating and getting out there and making noise, no one's going to know who you are. So we use it as an outlet and I talk about mental health in there and I'm going to start doing motivational Mondays where they sit and listen. I'm at lunchtime, you know. We've met so many great women with so many stories to tell and people who have just hit rock bottle how, exactly when I do this show girl, it's exactly why I do it rock bottom to rock solid and have came up and have just amazed.

Speaker 2:

you know we started the group. Now I do a podcast myself and I interview women-owned business. You know women-owned artists who have been through things and I've met the greatest people. We've networked with the greatest people. We have three charity events scheduled for this year that are to raise money for domestic violence.

Speaker 1:

Because I can do that you can do, that you can do all the hard things. You can do everything, because I'm a somebody?

Speaker 2:

Hell yeah, you are. I am the president and CEO of Bird and Boss Babes Good job Ashley Good job of bird and boss babes.

Speaker 2:

Good job, ashley. Good job, you know I've I've never been able to just be able to put myself out there and use what I've gone through and really just flourish with that. You have turned your purpose, girl. You've turned your pain into purpose and I swear it's just been, you know, worse slightly. You know moving up. You know Rome wasn't built in a day, right, but we're getting out there, we're networking. We are meeting people to collaborate with at these networking events. We have become members of the Chambers in St Matthew. We also are looking to become members in my town of Georgetown and possibly Frankfurt in Kentucky. We're all over the state. We had three different events in different parts of the state.

Speaker 1:

Good for you.

Speaker 2:

And we got those venues donated to us so that we could raise money for awareness of something that I hold dear in my heart good for you and good for you.

Speaker 2:

It's just, it's so beautiful and to have someone who you know, like Valerie, in my corner and know that I've never been able to trust a man to keep by me through the thin. But I know that Valerie will be there to the end and that we are here and we're going to empower every woman we come in contact with and we are going to motivate and we're going to motivate and we are going to be that shoulder to cry on if you need it and we are going to be that call that you can make late at night if you need help, and if we can't find you the answer, we're going to find somebody who can find that answer for you.

Speaker 1:

We're doing so many similar things and I am loving the look on your face when you're showing your daughter right now. You are showing her more right now with how you are learning to overcome and be strong, and you're showing her strength, and that's what she needs to see right now from you so much strength.

Speaker 2:

I I'm not. I'm not that, I'm not the person that likes to be in the spotlight, so that took a lot. Yeah, you know what Valerie has done that for me In the short amount of months that I've known her. I've only known her since November of 2023. We have started this and we have grown it into 100 people organically. I grew our group organically and she'll tell you I basically take the good one for that because I grew it organically. He does all of our content. He's precise with her content. She is consistent. We have girl. We have blown up from having just our Facebook group. We have our Facebook group. We have our Facebook page for you know, birkin Boss Days of Show. We have Instagram. We have LinkedIn. We have TikTok. This girl is blowing up Love it, love it, tiktok. This girl's going like love it and just really trying to get out there and tell you guys, if you are a woman business owner and you need for all us, because we're here for it you are getting around.

Speaker 1:

Some women are lifting each other up in the world today. We've been around men, around men, around men, and haven't found our, so to speak, soul tribe is what I call them. And you're doing it and you're finding your women and you're going. I needed this.

Speaker 2:

I actually did not know that I needed this and I need this it's really crazy because when you start down that road of autonomy yeah, only path yeah, sure, it's a very lonely path, especially when you have friends that don't understand why you work 24 7. No, you can't go out because you have a networking event and that's more important. And it's a lonely, lonely road. So you know what we're gonna do. We're gonna take those, you know, besties and absolutely and that's what we're gonna have amazing people that have just, they've just really been so much to us and they've been so helpful and I couldn't ask for a better tribe.

Speaker 2:

And I got into our group and I told my story and the feedback I got with this just so much caring and love, like, how strong do you have to be enlightened? I'll tell people I I lost my job because of everything that's going on me. So, out of that darkness, from that outfit, from that horrible situation that I went through, I'm okay, even if I don't make money with my business right now, because I'm making connections. Yes, and that's what I'm about. The money's coming, because my heart's in the right place just love what you're showing her right now.

Speaker 1:

I just love it. I love what you are doing and what it's showing. Even if you're not feeling it right now, because she's still going through it, it is showing her we can, we are strong.

Speaker 2:

I have told her over and over again this is something that will be with you for the rest of your life, but you will not let it define your life. You it's. It's something you went through. It is not who you are not. Not at all. It is not who you are at all. You know you're. You're so brave. I feel like not enough people has told her how brave she is. I am not people who wound Eyes Without telling anyone.

Speaker 1:

And yeah, that's right, hers old when you told me and Some people don't do that, and you know that's right After we wrap this up, if you don't mind, I'd like to send her a little something, just a card, if that's okay. Would that be all right? He would love this.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, male hard, just something to let her know I see you because she is brave, extremely brave it's going and I I tell you I've never felt as empowered as I do right now in life and it's been great to the girl I'm excited to get my voice out there and the next person Absolutely, I've always been really adamant. If you have ever been in a domestic violence situation or currently in a situation and you have no one to talk to, you have me to talk to and you don't have to worry about it. I'll never say anything and I want it there for people.

Speaker 1:

It's been working and now, itself and for yourself. Love yourself too. You deserve it. You deserve a lot of love and to know that you're brave and that you're courageous also your baby's brave, but you are brave, you are brave and you're courageous like I.

Speaker 2:

You know. I told them, like I, I never get out of the box and like I don't like lives and I don't like my voice to be out there, but in order to know what, I need to make noise with my voice yeah, you do, and you saw what you went through with the justice system and all of that and make a little noise about that girl.

Speaker 1:

Make some noise because the system is too and it needs some healing. It needs some growth. It does growth and the old ways don't work, the new way, powering women.

Speaker 2:

But I'm I'm open to have a sector of that later on. That is for women.

Speaker 1:

Your whole journey has just been.

Speaker 2:

You're just a light and a hope of strength, and being able to share, letting me share my story, and you know, absolutely not true. It has been. It has been a real pleasure to talk to you and I feel like you know it's made my whole day better.

Speaker 2:

So I'm really glad to hear that, that you're asking me to be a guest on the show and letting me share, you know, my space, because not a lot of people care about it, and letting me share about my business and all the great things that are happening, because it makes me feel like I'm somebody.

Speaker 1:

You are somebody, girl. You are somebody, and the world is going to see what somebody you are. Wait, and you know. That's why I do this whole podcast. I want us to be able to offer hope and encouragement to people that are struggling. People that have been at rock bottom can go to rock solid. It doesn't matter what you've been through. You can. It's things you went through, it's not who you are and anybody who wants to talk all and the overwhelm and all of it. So there needs to be a place for people to bring their voice and I'm not somebody that really likes to put myself out there either and I do this podcast audio and not video because you and I can sit here and talk and conversate and we're sharing deeply things, girl.

Speaker 2:

You've seen fine, you've not have done well, I don't care what I look like in the video and it's so not about the hood.

Speaker 1:

We need to be able to share and be comfortable. I tell people you could show up without pants because nobody can see you. Just come, be comfortable and be open. That's all that we can do is open, share and just be a light and let others know you can get through this. So thank you so much, Ashley. I appreciate you taking the time to spend with me today. On Sundays, I am so grateful that you joined me for this week's episode of Breakfast of Choices. If you're enjoying this podcast, please subscribe, give it five stars and share it to help others find hope and encouragement. The opposite of addiction is connection, and we are all in this together. Telling your transformational story can also be an incredible form of healing, so if you would like to share it, I would love to hear it. You can also follow me on social media. I'm your host, Jo Summers, and I can't wait to bring you another story next week. Stay with me for more Transformational Thursdays.

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Jo Summers

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