Breakfast of Choices

Choosing Happiness: Lessons in Living Authentically from a "Smile Creator" with Anneli Johansson

• Jo Summers • Episode 36

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Welcome to another episode of Breakfast of Choices. Today, I have Guest Anneli Johansson, who is a Strategic Life Coach who chooses to see life on the bright side. From a childhood marked by her mother's struggles with mental health and attempted suicide, to finding her own inner strength and resilience, Anneli's story encourages us all to live a happier life.

Anneli shares how she learned to navigate the challenges of her upbringing, often feeling like she had to be the "mom" to her own mother. This led her to become a people-pleaser, always putting others first. But through her travels and personal development work, Anneli discovered her true self - a brave, adventurous spirit unafraid to follow her passions.

Hearing about Anneli's solo trips to Australia, Costa Rica, and Malawi is truly inspiring. She didn't let fear hold her back, and instead embraced the unknown, learning and growing along the way. Her work as a "smile creator" is a testament to the power of positivity and how a simple gesture can make a big difference.

Anneli's journey is a reminder that no matter where we start, we all have the capacity for incredible growth and transformation. Her willingness to be vulnerable and share her story is sure to resonate with listeners who may be facing their own challenges. I'm honored to have had the chance to connect with Anneli and hear her empowering message.

Connect with Anneli:
https://linktr.ee/creatingsmilesbyanneli

From Rock Bottom to Rock Solid.

We all have them...every single day, we wake up, we have the chance to make new choices.

We have the power to make our own daily, "Breakfast of Choices"

Resources and ways to connect:

Facebook: Jo Summers
Instagram: @Summersjol
Facebook Support: Chance For Change Women’s circle

Website: Breakfastofchoices.com

Urbanedencmty.com (Oklahoma Addiction and Recovery Resources) Treatment, Sober Living, Meetings. Shout out to the founder, of this phenomenal website... Kristy Da Rosa!

National suicide prevention and crisis, hotline number 988

National domestic violence hotline:
800–799–7233

National hotline for substance abuse, and addiction:
844–289–0879

National mental health hotline:
866–903–3787

National child health and child abuse hotline:
800–422-4453 (1.800.4.A.CHILD)

CoDa.org
12. Step recovery program for codependency.

National Gambling Hotline 800-522-4700



Speaker 1:

Welcome to Breakfast of Choices, the weekly podcast that shares life stories of transformation. Each episode holds space for people to tell their true, raw and unedited story of overcoming intense adversity from addiction and incarceration, mental illness, physical and emotional abuse, domestic violence, toxic families, codependency and more. Trauma comes in so many forms. I'm your host, jo Summers, and also someone who hit my lowest point before realizing that I could wake up every day and make a better choice, even if it was a small one. So let's dive into this week's story together to learn from and find hope through someone's journey from rock bottom to rock solid, because I really do believe you have a new chance every day to wake up and make a change, to create your own. Breakfast of Choices. Good morning and welcome to Breakfast of Choices. Live stories of transformation from rock bottom to rock solid.

Speaker 2:

I'm your host, jo Summers, and with me today I have my guest, annalie Johansson. Annalie is going to discuss her transformative journey from a challenging childhood to where she's at now and how she ended up becoming a life coach. Annalie is going to share some experiences of growing up with a single mom who struggled with mental health and a suicide attempt. Annalie was just eight years old and that led her to really a life of codependency and people-pleasing and being the quiet Annalee. She really felt responsible for her mother's well-being from a young age and, in her words, she had to become the mom of her mom, and that would be very difficult from the age of eight years old. Everyone's rock bottom is different and I think it's important to talk about all kinds of different rock bottoms.

Speaker 2:

Anna Lee experienced a burnout that led her to have to reassess her life and really start to make significant changes. She was really just losing herself, start to make significant changes. She was really just losing herself and just discovering the importance of self-care in listening to her own intuition. She talks about and I talk about all the time everyone's story matters. Everyone has a story that matters, and connection with others is just crucial for healing and growth, and making choices is essential for personal transformation. So Annalee encourages others to take action towards their dreams, and Annalee had some big dreams and I think it was just really awesome to visit with her and talk with her, and I'm going to go ahead and let Annalie share where she was to, where she's been and how she is today. Hi, annalie, how are you doing this morning?

Speaker 3:

I'm fine, as I say, as long as the sun is shining from a bright blue sky, everything is perfect.

Speaker 2:

Everything is good. I agree with that.

Speaker 3:

That's fine. Today it's beautiful. I am so glad to hear that. Yeah, so I'm sitting here down in Portugal. I'm actually a Swede, but I have been down here for almost three years now and I love it Mostly for the light. In Sweden, it gets so dark during the winter and autumn months of the year.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, does that kind of lead to some depression for people?

Speaker 3:

Because a lot of people I would say yes and yeah. I know that it's all a matter of choices, but for me, I get to use more of my energy to keep my spirit high when it's too dark outside, when I can't be outside in daylight.

Speaker 2:

Yes, I totally understand that. Tell us a little bit about how you got to Portugal. Then that was a lot of different synchronicities.

Speaker 3:

I had it on my bucket list, I wanted to visit Portugal but I'd never been here. So a former colleague and friend was going down there. We were having our yearly kick and I took my tiny little car and went after her. She was in her van, living in her van, so we chipped like a week to get down there and then I just fell in love with the country.

Speaker 2:

I love that. I love that you just kind of followed your passion, you followed your dream, you went with your heart, you went with your gut and you just went for it. I freaking love that. That's really beautiful. Tell me a little bit about your childhood and how that was for you and how that all unfolded for you.

Speaker 3:

Yes, that was kind of. I was grown up with a single mom that did everything she could to support me in the best way. So in many ways I had good lives. But thinking back, it might have damaged me quite a bit because she didn't have the tools that I have today. So I believe quite a lot that she didn't think she was good enough, because one night when I was eight she tried to commit suicide and she didn't succeed. She survived. So I believe it was only a scream for help.

Speaker 3:

But that night me, as the eight-year-old little girl, put up a blueprint for myself that obviously she tried to leave her little girl behind and she didn't think that she was good enough to stay here. So I had to become the mom of my mom and for this little girl I had to shoulder the responsibility of being strong, which I believed at that time. And to be strong, you cannot show yourself weak. Yeah, so I put a hold on all my emotions and went through many years of my life, I would say, quiet, being a good girl, holding back, never saying the wrong answer, never being in the front lead even if something deep inside maybe wanted to be further ahead. But I was holding back, but I wasn't aware at that time. But it was restricting me for quite a lot.

Speaker 2:

I understand that you mentioned something when you first started talking about that. You said she was going to leave her little girl. So at the time, do you remember how that made you feel like she was leaving you personally, like it was about you not being good enough?

Speaker 3:

also Is that how you felt at the time. I didn't feel that then because, if I think back, because I think she was in the hospital for three weeks or something. So I stayed with a friend's mom and actually that was the woman that called the ambulance and all that because she called her just before she passed out totally. So I didn't know much about that because when she came home, life went on and the only thing that remembered me of that, or make me think that I was really holding back even back then, was that sometimes she could put out like the sentence of I'm going to take the road and I must say, as a little girl having that experience, that I could. I didn't think about that. I don't even know if I remembered, but I for sure didn't think it was fun.

Speaker 2:

No, not at all.

Speaker 3:

But I didn't allow myself to become angry and scream or cry. I just held it back, which after years and years and years of holding back wasn't very good. But I didn't know that then. Yeah, so I don't say I think that I thought so much about it back then to be honest.

Speaker 2:

When she came home you said she was in the hospital for a couple of weeks. Did she talk about it with you? Did you guys talk? Not at all, not that I can remember. So it just kind of got swept under the rug and life went on. Yeah, wow, okay.

Speaker 2:

I don't know if you know this or not, but I've had several people in my life commit suicide. My ex-husband actually committed suicide. We were not married at the time but you know, went through a lot in our 10, 12 year relationship and that was very difficult because it causes a lot of. What could I have done different? What could I have said different? You know that guilt, that shame that you didn't catch it soon and all the things. And I can see in your face right now and you're shaking your head. Yes, it causes all those things and it's very difficult. He's gone so I can't talk with him about that. You know there's there's no conversation except for the one in my head. You know that is constant, but so I. That's why I asked you that how you felt at the time. And you were eight. So you know, probably you didn't have those type of you, didn't know those emotions yet, probably, but that's why I asked so sorry to interrupt you. Go right ahead.

Speaker 3:

But it caused me to like become a top diplomat. Because this phrase about the role, of course, just as you say, if she would have taken that threat or whatever it was for serious and go ahead and do it, whose fault would it have been? I would have caused it and then I would have had all that guilt. So it held me back so much and made me become very sensible for people's energies, which today is a real benefit. I mean, I use that in my coaching, I use that. So I switched it into something good.

Speaker 2:

But then it was like just holding back and oh no, no, I did something wrong Like that Sop told you timp told you, yeah, constantly walking on eggshells, yeah, just trying to not upset the apple cart, just not make anybody mad, or and that's a, that's a tough place to be as a child. I know that place very well because I was there when I was young so not not with the suicide part, but just you know that walking on eggshells and it is a hard place to be, yeah for sure. So, okay, I'm sorry, go ahead and tell me more of how that kind of made you grow up in society with those thoughts in your head.

Speaker 3:

In a way it made me grow up to become very independent, because obviously I mean, she took care of me and I got food and shelter and all those things, but she never told me that I could do anything I want. So she never empowered me to go out and do things, work hard and do this. So I did that. I worked hard, I went traveling and one thing just came to my mind now that the first when I went around the world I think it was like 1988, 89 something the the greatest benefit, when I think I thought about it afterwards, wasn't like to travel the world and do that. The greatest feeling in myself was that I can't be responsible for her when I'm on the other side of the world, because that was before the mobile phones and things.

Speaker 2:

Yes. So you kind of felt like your whole life you were the mom and you were taking care of her instead of her taking care of you. So your emotional needs were not being met. You said you had food, you had shelter, all of those things, yeah, but emotionally not taken care of as a child.

Speaker 3:

No, I don't think so.

Speaker 2:

Okay, that totally makes sense, and she is no longer with us today, correct? No, that's true, it's more than 10 years ago now.

Speaker 2:

More than 10 years ago and you said she passed away and had dementia, yes, which we talked a little bit about, that which my mom is beginning stages of now. So you know our stories. While they're very different, isn't it amazing how they can connect and be very much the same Totally? And that's something that you deal with in your life today, in your coaching and in your empowering of people. That whole little thing, like we talked about, of just knowing that you're not alone, right, knowing that you're not alone in this world and knowing that other people do and have actually gone through the things that you have gone through or are going through them now, and you're put in that place to help them at the time, right? Yeah, sure, it's just very interesting how we all can get in that place where we feel like we're alone and then we start hearing other people's stories and talking to other people as we start maturing and getting older and healing and trying to go through all of that.

Speaker 2:

You know, drama and pain and unfold it, how we learn that other people's stories are not so different, and I think that's so super important for people to hear, because there's a lot of people out there today that feel very alone. This world has gotten a little crazy. You know everybody's got things that they've been through and are going through and you know my favorite thing is just be kind. You never know what someone else is going through. It costs us nothing to just be kind. And you don't know what someone's going through just on the outside right. No, you don't know just talking with someone face to face what they may be going through or what their life was like, and it doesn't cost us anything to just be kind, going through or what their life was like, and it doesn't cost us anything to just be kind.

Speaker 3:

So you stayed in Sweden your entire More or less. I started traveling and I traveled and I worked and I travel. I love to meet new people, love to see new places to explore and because, as you say, I mean, everyone is a unique human and it's so nice to get to know different people, different stories, and realize that there's so much out there and we're all unique, even if we are self-disciple. Right.

Speaker 2:

Right, absolutely, we all have something to offer this world. Everyone's story matters, yeah, and we are all connected. I mean, we are all connected, we are all energy, and everyone's story matters, and we are all connected. I mean, we are all connected, we are all energy, and everyone's story matters. And the more help that everyone can get, the more healing, the more positivity, the more good energy in this world can change the whole trajectory of how the world goes right, putting that positivity out there. And that's just something I think we all have to learn, right, yeah, as we grow and get older. So when you went off to travel, did you?

Speaker 3:

go by yourself. That was back in the days. It was mostly me and a friend. Okay, we went around the world, had a lot of fun and meeting a lot of people, places enjoying working our way back.

Speaker 2:

That's so cool and that's so interesting to me. I think a lot of people would love to do that, but just don't, right. Yeah, tell me, tell me how that happened for you, because you had been taking care of your mom, right, your whole life pretty much. And tell me how you were able to kind of separate yourself because there had to be a moment where you worried about that, right, am I wrong? Yeah, where you said, oh, I just had this drive.

Speaker 3:

I mean for many, many. It took me many, many years to start vision things and to start dream and things, but I always, or for at least many, many years, had this drive of freedom. So when this opportunity to travel, first me and a friend went to Florida for a month and we had friends there and then it started the traveling bug. So then I just went home. I knew how to work, because mom taught me that you need to work, because that's how we do it the rich people are the ones who can earn money, the poor people are the average. We have to try, so it just worked. So I worked and I worked and I traveled, saved up money, and then I went again and that was so and I didn't really think about it.

Speaker 3:

But years later, when I had my burnout, I got burned out. After all of this I thought that I was nothing. Who was I? I had no education, I had no this. And then a dear friend of mine said that you were so brave and we can go back to that later if you want but you are so brave and I think that this drive within me for this freedom made me create the opportunities to go Because when I traveled I felt alive. When I came home I felt so restricted because I went back into the old patterns. I felt so much more of me, so much more, yeah, so much more of me. And I went traveling back home. People saw me as the Annalie. I was always the nice Annalie with a smile, happy, nice, yeah, you know. And I fell back into that box every time I came back home. So home felt like not jail, but like restrictive, sounded very restrictive.

Speaker 2:

Yes, yes, yes. So you said when you had your burnout, so tell me what kind of happened. So you were out traveling, things were happening. Did you then come back home or were you still out traveling?

Speaker 3:

I came back home and I worked, then I worked, then I created a family family and then I ended that family 15 years later and then I met a new one and then I had a job and I worked and worked. But over all these years, with all the restrictions I put on from childhood the one in here, the one with the power, the one that wanted to come out she got more and more hidden because I looked after that person less power.

Speaker 3:

The one that wanted to come out. She got more and more hidden. Because I looked after that person less, because she wasn't so important, right, but she was, she didn't scream loud enough.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, that's definitely, I know. I know men do it too, but that is definitely something that women face, maybe more so, I don't know. I don't want to step out there and say men don't have that same issue, but women can be very codependent and very, very people pleasers and want to feel like their place is to take care of everybody else and to push ourselves back. Yeah, and long as everybody around us is happy, you know, then then it's good, but then we're just kind of empty. You know what I mean? Empty shells.

Speaker 3:

It was like always like there was something missing, that like when I had my family and stuff, like well, I mean I have a good life, I have a husband, I have children, and why am I not happy? But there was something missing. And then I went on and I ended that, and then I went on and I ended that, and then I went on and still there was something missing and it was like me living out from who I was, because that part of my guilt went for the others.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and that causes a lot of guilt and shame, because you start like, well, who am I to? You know, I had a family, I have these kids, I have this husband, and why am I still not happy? And then you start doubting yourself and you go into that whole spiral in your head of why am I not happy? What's the matter with me? And you have to kind of figure that out along the way. Yeah, so what caused you're calling it burnout? Was it more like a breakdown or was it just an extreme burnout?

Speaker 3:

Burnout breakdown? I don't know. I was just like this smiling thing at work. I had a smiley as my signature in all emails and stuff and I was always a smile, the one that good morning shoo-hoo. But one morning, 30th of October 2012, october, okay, I was working with the numbers finances and then a colleague came up to me and just said Natalie, you look like you need a hug. And he gave me a hug and then he left and I just went into my office and totally I just cried my eyes out and I went home from work at noon the same day and I'm so forever grateful to this guy, nicholas, who saw through this smile. That was a facade of well, how are you? But I was so tired because I did and did and did, but I didn't sleep, I didn't look after myself, so I was worn out.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, so you was worn out. Yeah, so you went home. What happened? What did you do with that?

Speaker 3:

I asked the generator do where I am. I thought that I can just rest and then get back. But I was just resting, resting. So I think I was home sick for three months and then I started bit by bit coming back. But then I had a very wise older doctor at work that told me that, anneli, are you aware that you will be sensitive to stress for the rest of your life? And I was devastated because, as I know myself, I feel that I was myself, I feel that I was or am one of the most least stress-sensitive persons I know. I mean my ex told me many times that drop the ball, that Emily will just smile and deal with it. But if you don't recover from it and if you are in the same situation in my job if it was their will to do it or they couldn't do it, I don't know, but they didn't change just about anything. So another couple of months later, me and the doctor decided that I will have them fire him. So I decided to quit my job. From feeling like a fart in London, I decided to quit my job. So that was one of the big decisions I've made.

Speaker 3:

And that is brave, because when I came back from that meeting with HR at work there was two parts of my colleagues. They wondered, because I went away like and came back like, and they said what happened? And I said is this my last day here? So they had like one part of it. They said like, congratulations, because it was quite pressure, a lot of pressure. And there was other ones that were on the edge as well. And then there was the other one that said like, but what if you don't find a new job? And I am so grateful that I that day was so smart and that I listened to my heart and thought, what if I'm not Devi? What would happen then? Good for you, good for you. I'm so grateful that I still had that much power to listen to everything.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, so you did recognize that it was killing you inside. Yes, yeah, and there is something you know about that being strong and just pushing things back I call them compartments, compartments and lock the door. And I have this visual in my head that if the locks ever came open and everything fell out, holy crap, right, that's my visual that I've always had in my life. I'm like, oh God, just push it back there, please, keep it locked. There's a lock in there that if it all came out out, you know what I mean. It's like not good. So that's how I'm visualizing what you're telling me like you were always a strong one and all the things that happen. You're just put it back there, put it back there and they just keep stacking up. Yeah, nothing stacking up until one day you were like and he came up and said it looks like you need a hug. Was that not something that was? Was your mom a nurturer that way with you, did she?

Speaker 3:

hug you Did. She show Not so much, not that I can remember.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, so somebody coming to you and saying you look like you need a hug, that was enough foreign to you and enough helpful to you that it caused you to go. Oh my gosh, they're so right and that's awesome that that happened.

Speaker 3:

That's awesome. The last piece is on my defense system. Yeah, thank you, eckler, I'm so envious. Yeah, I've told him so many times I'm forever grateful. It's the most important hug and will forever be in my terms.

Speaker 2:

That's so awesome because, like you said, where would you have been if that didn't happen? You know where would you have gone? It sounds like you were just losing yourself. You were just lost.

Speaker 3:

I played the games another couple of months, and then it would have taken me further away from health and maybe I wouldn't have been able to sit here happy and healthy today.

Speaker 2:

So do you think that, looking back, now that you've gone through that yourself, do you think your mom might have felt a little bit of that? Do you think that might have been what was going on with her, or do you know?

Speaker 3:

Certainly. I mean, she certainly didn't feel that she was enough and a lot of blame and she wanted to do. She was the most good-hearted person I know and she did. Yeah, you're right, enough she didn't think she was. She didn't think she was. I've been thinking so many times that she did the best she could with what she had. Yeah, today I'm, I'm honest, I'm so grateful for that, because our way of being, those rules I put up and what I learned is also things that I actually can use as tools today. That is really good. The diplomatic sensibility to people's energies and stuff to be present and really sense, that is really extremely valuable.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, so you went home. Your job is done. What did I do now?

Speaker 3:

I was home for about a year, I think, or no. I had six months paid off. So when those were over, I took like the money I had. I think I had like 72 paid vacation days or something. Went to Australia on the New Year's Eve, 2012,. Landed in Sydney 1st of January 2013. New chapter by yourself. By myself then, yes, okay, 2013. New chapter by yourself.

Speaker 2:

By myself, then yes, so new chapter. Tell me about it.

Speaker 3:

It was like I went to Australia. Back there I loved it because you wanted to go there for so long. So it was like really choosing me and I haven't thought about that for quite a while. But then it started like rediscovering me and I came, came back and I lived further and I got a new job eventually and I chose not to work in corporate anymore. Choice of mind was to not get into that field again. So I chose like more, let's say, simpler jobs, less paid restaurants, like service kind of job where I promised myself that if things are happening to me or if I don't like it, I know where the door is and I will walk out of it faster than they can imagine. So you were choosing yourself.

Speaker 2:

You were taking care of you, choosing yourself. What did you discover about yourself when you went to Australia?

Speaker 3:

That, first of all, all wasn't so much. It kind of just made me realize how tired I was, how long I had postponed myself, kind of.

Speaker 2:

So you took it more as a vacation.

Speaker 3:

It was like a month of vacation, that first one.

Speaker 2:

Okay, so you said first one, so there's more coming. Keep telling me. Tell me some more, yeah.

Speaker 3:

I'm invested, annalee, I need to know. Yeah, yeah, yeah, this is fun, because this chapter I haven't thought about for a while. So that's, yeah, I've really enjoyed that. So I came back and then I moved out, because I separate. I mean, this burnout took me to leave my job, leave my spouse, the house, the first place I have ever well, the first place I've been where actually I want to go home again and where I've visualized myself growing old, and I decided that, okay, I might be able to keep it, but it will take too much. So I decided to move out and it was just when I realized that I might have to put myself into an apartment.

Speaker 3:

I found a tiny little house in the next door village. So I got to have my son every week because he changed school there after being in Australia for a year, and then we had a year there. That was really fine, but I still had this kind of urge to move forward. So one year later I packed that home and realized that now you have been thinking about so much about traveling, going far away. So either you go now, because my son was out of school, going far away, so either you go now because my son was out of school.

Speaker 3:

This house I didn't want to rent anymore because he wanted to have too much money for what it was. It wasn't worth it and my son was like he was out of school but his father was there, so I didn't have to be there like that. So if you don't go now, you have to shut up and don't whine about it anymore. So I packed my stuff, got rid of that and went to Costa Rica and the intention was to be there for like three months. I ended up being there five and I just loved it. It was like coming to paradise.

Speaker 2:

So what did you do when you were in Costa Rica?

Speaker 3:

I traveled. At first I studied Spanish for a month and then, like in school, it was more like me and one other student for a while, so it was almost like being me and the teacher. I was totally brainwashed, which was amazing. And then I went out traveling by myself, knowing more Spanish then could get by, and then I volunteered out in the jungle for one and a half to two months and that was because it brought me, it taught me how to get down in pace and get present, because Ricardo who had that place it was a turtle conservation project and we served on tourist boat was just in the jungle. So you kind of had to go to your ham and rest a bit. Don't you have some work to do for me? Because you know you want to do, you want to. So it was just the practice of slowing down, enjoying the waves, enjoying no electricity, no water. It was just amazing.

Speaker 2:

The closest to paradise, or my way of paradise yeah, just what you were looking for, just what you needed. What made you go to costa rica?

Speaker 3:

why there, like everything else, it's things. I believe that if you just listen within, you get like the signs. I actually want to go to bali. I loved it. That was my number one place to go backpacker five-star and I loved it. But I talked to someone and they said that oh, if it's that long ago you have been there since you were there, you might get disappointed. So I started Googling around and I looked for places to volunteer, doing some good, some volunteer work, and I ended up finding Costa Rica. And then I realized the volunteer work. Many of them were just like paying a lot of money for a project, not for the project but for the thing. So I but I saw Costa Rica and I started looking at photos and I want to go. And I went and again, following the intuition, yeah, I love that. Okay, photos, and you know, I want to go and I went and you went again, following the intuition.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I love that. Okay. So what made you leave when you left?

Speaker 3:

what happened. It was just like my time was over. I had to go home and yeah, you know, you have to earn some money as well.

Speaker 2:

You weren't willing, right. Eventually you have to have money to live. That's the thing. If we didn't have money to live, just think of the possibilities, right, yeah, so you went back home, yeah, went back to Sweden, and what'd you do?

Speaker 3:

I got another job like those kind of jobs and worked a little bit and then I went to.

Speaker 2:

Australia for six months. Back to Australia, yeah. So in this time, are you using all of this time that you are? You know we can say vacationing or traveling, but you're having experiences, different experiences, different people, different energies, different lifestyle, different culture. Yeah, taking all of that in, but are you learning about yourself as you go? Are you healing you as you're doing all of this?

Speaker 3:

Yes, healing you as you're doing all of this. Yes, I started my personal development journey and I got into network marketing with a company and I kind of, in a way, saw that, oh, that might be an option, but I had no idea that I could make money more than like trading hours for money kind of thing, sure. So I got the vision of that there was something bigger with the network marketing and then I saw into the personal development, the mentors, listening to a lot and traveling. So I realized along the way that I was stronger than I thought, I was braver than a lot of people because, thinking back, like, for example, my Costa Rica trip, I don't know anyone of my friends that could have done it the way I did it.

Speaker 2:

And by yourself, and by yourself, yeah, huge, by yourself as a woman. What?

Speaker 3:

year, would you say that was At Costa Rica was 2016.

Speaker 2:

Okay, Really yeah. So I mean, were you this is a question everybody's probably wondering were you afraid of danger? Were you afraid?

Speaker 3:

of no, not at all. I got that question especially off the Costa Rica. Oh, are you never afraid of traveling by yourself? And I go. What do I need to be afraid of? Because my experience when I travel, or even when I'm not traveling, when I meet people, is that if I, of course, there are places where you don't go. It doesn't matter if you're a single woman or whoever. You don't choose those places, sure, but like just normal places going, and sometimes I treat and meet people with respect and that I see people and don't value like you are sitting there in the street, you're less than me and like that. I believe that, or I experienced so many times that I don't know. I have nothing to be afraid of. I don't focus on the things that might happen, because I do believe in the law of attraction and where focus goes, certainly energy flows oh my gosh, absolutely the opposite. Where you focus on, you get more of and, yeah, if you focus on that, there will be someone coming knocking your head off. There will be someone?

Speaker 2:

for me, absolutely. I totally agree with that. Where you focus, that's where your energy flows.

Speaker 3:

By the way, don't say that it can't happen. But knock on wood. Not one single episode where I felt threatened in any way.

Speaker 2:

And I really honestly ask that for myself. There's been many times I have wanted to. Now I do have a son, so I can't just take off, and now I do have my mom that lives here, so I don't really have that capability to just go. I will five years, yeah, but more for myself. I've said I want to go here, I want to go there yeah, but I more for myself. You know, I've said I want to go here, I want to go there yeah, I'll go by myself.

Speaker 2:

And people always say you can't do that by yourself, you shouldn't travel by yourself, you shouldn't go there by yourself. And so it's that limiting beliefs, right. You start listening to what somebody else is saying and certainly talk about you being brave. That is really brave, it's really courageous, it's really brave. It's really taking care of you and just listening to your gut and your intuition and what you want to do. And I think that's just awesome From someone that came from the background of tiptoeing around, walking on eggshells, codependent people pleasing to just saying F it, I'm going to do this, this is what I want to do and this is what's going to be good for me. That's huge. That's a huge spread of growth right that want to do and this is what's going to be good for me. That's huge, that's a huge spread of growth, right. That's why I'm asking you like were you working on your healing, were you working on this? Because that's a huge change. Yeah, you know in where you were to where you went.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, it was huge. So who are some of your mentors? I started off with Tony Robbins. Actually, my son introduced, my smart son introduced me to him and during those times when I started with network marketing and that was one of my first and still mentors that I really appreciate. And then there has been many, many mentors, coaches, because you really need to hear things from others to implement it in your system.

Speaker 2:

Absolutely, absolutely. So okay, tell me a little bit. And I kind of got you sidetracked, sorry about that. So you went to Australia for six months and then, and then you came back. Yes, okay, so that would have been now. What year are we? We're like 2020.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, it was like between 2016 and 2020. Now it was like, yeah, 2018.

Speaker 2:

18, it was 18, okay, yes, okay, but before the big COVID. Oh, because traveling and all of that, yeah, it was way before COVID. Yeah, okay, okay, so you get back in 2018. What do you do now?

Speaker 3:

Actually I met someone in Australia, so I had first thought that I have nothing in Sweden. I go to Australia, I go back to Australia. I mean, what is the worst thing that can happen? But when I came back to Sweden I realized that no, he's not. He was just like a training object for me to set my boundaries and stay stiff Right.

Speaker 2:

So I he places things lessons, blessings.

Speaker 3:

Yes, yes, yes, right. So I realized that this is not the case, but at that time or that, a good idea to start my next trip to Australia with that. So I bought the ticket because I got an upgrade for no extra money. So I thought, oh, this is meant to be. And then I decided not to go. I was sitting there with this ticket where it's like $1,000-ish and I thought what am I going to do with it? I mean, for me it was a lot of money. I realized I probably bought it for a reason. I needed it. So okay, let's go to Australia. So I went and did it. I think that's the craziest trip I've ever done. So I went to Australia just to go participate in the UPDEL with Tonya Roberts. I love that.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I love that, and so what happened for you there?

Speaker 3:

Yeah, because during these years since my burnout, I had different jobs and I got by as the survivor I am I mean, as friends tell me like if you lose your job, you always find a way. You have always done, you have always managed. And I don't want to only manage, I want to do more. You want to thrive. Yeah, I want to thrive. Yeah, I want to thrive. So, anyway, during that seminar before we walked on fire, some of the other participants mentioned that have you ever considered becoming a coach? And I kind of no. How can I do that, can I? I didn't have the urge to put years into school I mean, I'm not 20 anymore, but still the seed was there and eventually, a year or so later, I started actually Robbins-Madonnas coach training and I became a coach.

Speaker 2:

So you went to the gym. Tony Robbins is one of my biggest mentors as well. Yeah, I went through the Matthew McConaughey road trip, loved it, loved it, loved it, loved it. And that's actually when I started. My podcast was through that, like I knew I wanted to do something.

Speaker 2:

I wasn't sure of the platform and I went through all of that, read his book Greenlights, went through that coaching, went through that series, and woke up at three in the morning and said I know what I'm going to do, I know how it's going to go, I know what platform, I know what it's going to be called, like all the things, right? Yeah, so I know I had looked, you know, at your Facebook profile and all of that, and I knew that Tony Robbins was one of your mentors and I just love that because I mean he's amazing, obviously right and just, you know, dean Graciosas and all of those guys are just absolutely amazing. And you know, a lot of people think it's woo-woo and rah-rah and all the things. But you just got to give it a chance, right? You just got to give it a chance and be open.

Speaker 3:

And you have to be open and you just have to listen with an open mind, open heart, all of those things, and it's life-changing, it's really life-changing, it is, it's just, I mean, I believe that all of all of those mentors, like the big ones I mean this bob procter from before I worked with the editorial for a couple of years okay, okay, and they are, in my opinion, they are their information, their things come from the same source Mm-hmm. The universal laws, mm-hmm Of how everything works, how we work.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, how we work, how we're attracted, where your focus goes, your energy flows, all of it. I mean, when you start taking it in and you start listening, it makes sense. Right, it starts making sense and you're like, well, okay, let's look at those guys and look at where they're at. And you start getting around different people putting different energies in your life. And what is the little saying show me your five closest friends, I'll show you your future. Right, and that's very true. Right, and if we keep doing the same thing we've always done, what is that definition of insanity? Right, right, just keep doing it over and over, expecting different results. And so you went through all of that. And so tell me, okay, so where are you now then? But what's happening now?

Speaker 3:

Well, now I'm in Portugal and I work. I actually call myself today a smile creator Because I started off like my domain, for what I'm doing is like creating smiles by Annalie, because with a multi-level marketing company, I realized I'm not a cream lady, I'm not like this. I love the products they have, the supplements and stuff like that. And then I realized, creating smiles by Annalie, I kind of was so healed so I could go back to the smile that has always been a part of me and I mean that's who I am. And as a smile creator, I mean that is the easiest, the cheapest way of making a change. I mean if you just start looking at yourself in the mirror, like put a smile on your face, you can teach yourself to become happy, even if you're not.

Speaker 2:

Well, absolutely Right. Yeah, back to that energy thing again. If you're putting on waking up grateful and blessed and smiling every morning, then you're going to start waking up grateful and blessed and smiling every morning, right? It's training your brain. It's training rewiring. Yeah, what is funny about that for you is you said when you were at that job where you had extreme burnout, you were ending your emails with a little smile. I did so. That's always been who you were. Yeah, you just had to reach in and figure out what that meant.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, but I actually took that smiley away because it was too much, but I did it in my signature. There's a little added in smiley in that, but it's not like the smile. Yeah, it's not the smile.

Speaker 2:

I love that, though you just kind of reached back in and found that happiness, found that joy in yourself, and I love that. I love hearing that that's beautiful. So found that joy in yourself and I love that. I love hearing that that's beautiful. So now you are a coach and you have do you do one-on-one coaching? Do you do group coaching?

Speaker 3:

What do you do? I do mostly one-on-one. I do like to do more group coaching as well, because I like the small setting and there can't be more participants than that. It allows them to be all on the screen at the same time. Because it's online? Yes, because I like to be able to see them all at the same time, otherwise it's too many.

Speaker 2:

I know I agree with you on that. I like everybody to be right there. I like small groups. I like small groups, I like the small settings, I like that intimate conversation with the small groups. So do you still travel, are you still?

Speaker 3:

I conversation with the small groups. So do you still travel? Are you still? I haven't been traveling that much. I mean after Australia, actually, I got the opportunity from a friend that said that she had told me before because I have, all the way since I was small, had an urge for Africa for some reason. I like to do more for those who have nothing. And then she said one day that haven't you talked to, why don't you call Christina a friend of hers? And because she's working with a project in Africa. And I did and we clicked. So 2017 actually that was before Second Australia I went to Malawi for the first time. I'm volunteering there for one month and I just fell in love with the dusty room in Africa.

Speaker 2:

Wow, Gosh, that's amazing. That is amazing. You just really went for it. You just really followed your heart, followed your soul. That's absolutely amazing. You know, average person doesn't do that. Right, you get the helps and the gringings.

Speaker 3:

I realized that and it kind of as a do that, right, you get the bounce in the ring. I realized that it's kind of as a doer. So many times I thought I'm nothing, I can't do this and that. And when I got advice from coaches and friends said think about you. You have done more than anyone I know in a different way as well, and I thought, maybe, maybe, look.

Speaker 2:

Because you know, in the beginning of this conversation, when we started, you were saying I wasn't strong, I was not enough, I wasn't this. And then, as I'm listening to you unfolding and all of these things that you did and have done and traveled, and by yourself, and like, like that is so strong and so brave and so different than what you were, how you originally were saying that you felt about yourself. So how did like, how did you just dig deep and go? I'm just going to do it, because you had to have had to yank it out of there and dig deep in there. Go, I'm just going to do it.

Speaker 3:

Actually the parts where I've had most problems, where I have to dig the deepest, is the ones that have come to like success and money and those things, because they were so deeply hidden underneath tons of layers and mom's beliefs that like money doesn't grow on trees and blah, blah, blah, blah, all that bullshit, and so when I looked back during the development or evolvement of myself, I realized that so many times I've been standing next to what I thought was successful people and I just reduced my energy so they couldn't even see me reduce my energy, so they couldn't even see me. I heard I had actually a. There was a client of ours when I worked with Paging Intra Results who had been at an event with this natural marketing company with me. It said that I remember I saw you standing behind your upline like almost hiding, and that is so interesting because that was the behavior I had from my childhood, like holding back because I was less, because I didn't have all the money. I was less.

Speaker 2:

So I reduced myself in my language, in my body language, in my way of like the energy, not like oh, you hear that your way of being in the world, your way of being in the world, your way of, yeah, in the world, you, yeah, you move yourself smaller, yeah, with your energy, that's, that's amazing, because even though you were doing that, you were still living as if you weren't. So there had to be kind of a something in your head, right, something'm doing it. I would say something like, yeah, that's so interesting to me. I mean, for me, my dad was always it was always about money. There was never enough of it. It was about scarcity mindset. You know what I mean? There was never enough money.

Speaker 2:

Even to the end of his life, on his deathbed, one of the things he said was about the bills getting paid. Literally, he was in his subconscious. He had no idea what was going on around him, anything, and it was all about money, like the things that were coming out, and the things he was saying was about bills getting paid and this and that. And it was just so sad, sad, interesting in a way, that you realize how deeply rooted that is in your subconscious when someone is literally on their deathbed, doesn't even know what's going on and is still talking about it. Yeah, it was very enlightening to me where some of my scarcity mindset has come from, around money and around success and what is success, and sometimes sabotaging your own self. When you're becoming successful, you do that sabotage thing in your mind, right? Yes, the compartments start opening and you're like, no, close them. So it's just interesting that you're saying all of this, because it's I can resonate with all of it, literally all of it.

Speaker 3:

So it's very interesting yeah, like you said, we're not alone. No, oh my, even if I think that my limiting beliefs are only mine, you have them. There are so many people who have it. So when I sometimes say I have a very old pair of hiking boots, when they were gone, they were final done. I threw them in Costa Rica because they were done. I have a picture of them, I made a post like I haven't walked in your shoes, but I've walked a hell of a lot on ups and downs and bumpy roads in mine. And that is like, even if we don't have the exact story, we all have the ups and downs, or at least most of us. Some have a little bit less, some have worse, but it's not always about how bad it is, because the smallest thing can traumatize a child. It doesn't have to be huge, really bad things. It's what you do about it, when, what you have.

Speaker 2:

At that time, trauma comes in. So, so, so many forms. And you and I talked a little bit. I told you I work on the addiction side and recovery and that kind of thing, and one of the recovery speak is and something that's just near to my heart is, connection is the opposite of addiction. We're all in this together and we need to stay connected. And if you get unconnected or disconnected I guess is the proper word from people from society, proper word from people from society you start shrinking, you shrink a little bit into yourself and just getting yourself connected in a small, no matter what that is walking in nature, walking outside, grounding yourself, looking in the mirror and smiling, talking to a friend, whatever it is for you, just getting that connection, just uplift. It's so uplifting and uplifting and you've got to keep doing it and keep that mindset and keep that growth mindset going and you can accomplish and achieve anything, no matter what you've been through. So true, we talked about choices.

Speaker 2:

Obviously, breakfast with Choices is the name of the podcast and choices are so unbelievably important because everything has a consequence, everything we do has a consequence and the choices that we make are what bring about our consequences in life. Now I'm not saying when people are children, they have a choice. So please, everybody, don't get on me about that. I'm saying as we grow and as we become into adulthood whatever adulthood is, there's not a certain age but when we get to that place, where it's the choices that we make, we can't be a product of our environment forever. We have to start making different choices.

Speaker 2:

Sure, it's just, it's what you've done in your life and it's it's so funny. I'm sitting here wearing this sweatshirt right now that says you are enough, and you were talking all about that earlier. And it's so true, talking all about that earlier. And it's so true, it's what we put on ourselves sometimes, thinking we're not enough, or we're not strong enough, or we're not brave, or we're not anything, or we don't have anything to offer. Everybody has something to offer. Everyone has a story that can touch someone else's life. It's just that one little thing that sticks right. You hear that one little thing, and it could be from someone at the grocery store that you don't even know. It's just being out and being connected right, and I love that.

Speaker 3:

Everybody can make a change for other people. And we can go back to the grocery shop because going in the grocery shop and there is some an old lady or whoever and they look like they need some help and you reach out like they need some help and you reach out do you need some help? And you might have a conversation for two minutes and just by that conversation, with an honest, friendly smile, you can make the day, the week, the month for that person. Maybe that lady haven't talked to anyone generally for a month. Yeah, you, you're absolutely correct. So it doesn't take more, because many people they say, oh, I don't have anything to share, I don't have any money to give, no, but you have at least a smile, at least one minute of your time, the most precious thing we have is our time, absolutely Is our time, and how we choose to show up in the world, you know how we choose to wake up and show up for ourselves and for others is so important in this world.

Speaker 2:

It feels like I want to I always want to say, especially today in this world, because I just feel like there's this bizarre energy in the world right now. Right, I mean it's if everybody can wake up and show up in a positive spirit, it would change the whole energy of this world. And it's so crazy right now. I just want to shake it. It's like it feels like it's a snow globe in my head, but I just want to shake, yeah, and change the trajectory of the world right now. But that's not a possibility, right, it's not possible to do that right now, but that's not a possibility, right, it's not possible to do that, but as people we can do that.

Speaker 3:

One person at a time, one smile at the person, and that creates great warmth, good energy, high vibes. Like a pebble in a lake, it's all right. It transforms and creates a world.

Speaker 2:

The ripple effect right, causes another causes another. Look how huge the ocean is and look what happens and how powerful it is, yeah, so you know I love that, I love your story. I love your story. You know, the little tagline in my podcast is from rock bottom to rock solid.

Speaker 2:

Okay, everybody's rock bottom is different, but everybody has a chance to turn that around and get to rock solid, right? Yeah, and trauma is different for everyone and our stories are all different and someone you know could be worse for someone or not as bad for someone else, it doesn't really matter. Everybody goes through things and everybody has a story to share. And so I'm so grateful to you today and thank you for sharing yours, because for me, in your story, I am just seeing so much strength and so much bravery that you have overcome, because just the things that you have done and on your own and created on your own is phenomenal, truly phenomenal, and I hope you feel that like, like I hope in your world, in your life today, that you know that I still have my moments of doubt and, like everybody, I'm human and it took many years for me to realize that I was a sort of a woman trust.

Speaker 3:

People want to do things but they don't think they can. And one thing like, if you have this urge, this desire in your heart of something you want to do, just take action and take the first steps towards it. When you do, if you get this kind of calm at least that's like the receipt in my life when I'm on the right way. Even like when I drove down here to Portugal the second time, I got rid of all my stuff and I put myself in my tiny little pichon to eat again, and the closer I came towards the border, like the south of France up towards the north of Spain, and then the calmer I got. It felt like the road was just opening up for me. So you knew you were doing it right. And it was very, very insecure and it was like shaking, like leaving everything, and everything was resistance at the end, when I was getting rid of everything and I thought am I doing this? Is the universe telling me not to do this?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, but then the feeling when I finally left was you know, it's so beautiful, and learning to listen to yourself, learning to listen to your gut and listen to your intuition is huge. It is huge Because we all second guess ourselves. We all do Just like you said. Oh gosh, now at the end it's happening. I'm getting scared, but you still listened. You know what I mean. Mean you still went with it, you still listened and it's. It's just that little mindset of just do it. How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time, just yeah. So the true start, one little step can take you to a whole different place, whole different growth, a whole different mindset for you, a whole different country and and everything else. So I just think that is so cool, that that's so cool. Do you think you'll stay in Portugal?

Speaker 3:

As it feels. Now I will. I mean, I have my boys up in Sweden, and it's like 3,000 Ks away, but it's still reachable. So my intention is to go visiting more often, though, but we'll see. How old is your boy still? They're 28, and then I have a bonus one that is 34.

Speaker 2:

Okay.

Speaker 3:

Okay, very nice, very nice, and bonus grandchild as well. So some people say, oh, how can you be there when they are there? Yeah, but still, I can't live my life sitting waiting for them either. Right, I love I could meet them every day if I could, but I wouldn't do that even if I were in Sweden. No, even if you live there, they still have their own lives.

Speaker 2:

right, they have their own lives. That is daily. They're doing their thing, and you could be sitting there waiting for the call. You know what I mean?

Speaker 3:

Yeah, it's just, we all have our own lives and we all have to live our own destinies, it's all different and, as I say to clients sometimes, or people that, like people, are normally afraid of change, oh, and if something is not feeling right, we have to look within. What is it that is missing in my life? Why am I not happy in my relationship? This, and if you just listen early enough and if you need help, take you, invest in help so you save the time and money, because then the change doesn't necessarily mean that you have to divorce your husband. It might not mean that you have to leave your job. You can find the changes within the life you have, yeah, so that you feel happy again, absolutely, and live according to your values.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and that is different for everyone. Right, it's different for everyone. Some people it's all changes, some people it's bigger changes. Some people have to regroup everything. You know what I mean. It just depends on everybody's unique. But everybody has a chance to change. Everybody has a choice to make A new choice every day. So I say that every day you wake up, you have a chance to make a change. You make a new choice every single day, so I love that.

Speaker 2:

Thank you, annalee, very much for being on here with me today. I know we're a lot of hours apart, so, getting that time and day set, appreciate that that you. We went back and forth on that and figured it out. It's what time for you? Right now it's 5, 11, 5, 11, and so it's 11, 11, 11 here. So that's a good six hour difference, right? So I'll try to make it at night and you're like, oh, that's gonna be pretty late for me.

Speaker 2:

So, yeah, the time zones. I don't know why there's you know, I talk to people from everywhere those time zones. Man, geez, yeah, like can't get that straight at all. So well, thank well, thank you so very much. Thank you for all of your. I just I love mindset talk. I love the growth. I love that so much and I hope everyone I hope someone today hears that. One little thing that sticks and I think something that we could all take away from this is we're not alone. We are definitely not alone out there. Your story matters, no matter what it is. There's strength within all of us that we can pull from every single day. So thank you, annalie.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, thank you very much for having me and, if I may, I will just add one last thing that for you out there that is not as happy as I think that everybody should be, don't wait, because life is way too short to wait for things to change for you, because it doesn't. You have to be part of the change. Yeah, no one's coming to save you.

Speaker 2:

No one's coming to save you. You have to make your own way, you have to make your own change right, and that is for you, absolutely. Thank you for that. Thank you for adding that. Is there anything else that you want to say to anyone that might be listening?

Speaker 3:

No, I just want anyone to be able to smile Again. Life is too short to live as a tiny version of ourselves when we have so much power and light within us. As you said, as the world is today, we need to be more light. Be the light for yourself so that you can light up the world for others.

Speaker 2:

Oh, 100%. I love that, I love that. Well, thank you again so much for doing this with me today.

Speaker 3:

Thank you so much for having me.

Speaker 1:

I am so grateful that you joined me for this week's episode of Breakfast of Choices. If you're enjoying this podcast, please subscribe, give it five stars and share it to help others find hope and encouragement. The opposite of addiction is connection, and we are all in this together. Telling your transformational story can also be an incredible form of healing, so if you would like to share it, I would love to hear it. You can also follow me on social media. I'm your host, Jo Summers, and I can't wait to bring you another story next week. Stay with me for more Transformational Thursdays.

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